#i don't deserve to feel like this periods shouldn't debilitate you this much etc etc...
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#woke up today with a looming sense of dread#i'm sitting here with tears rolling down my face because of minor inconvenients#i have no energy and find no joy in anything...#wouldn't you guess i'm due my period any time now...#every month i'm more convinced i have pmdd... and every month i'm full to the brim with anxiety and depression...#this is SO FUCKING FUN!#also yeah yeah i need to go to a doctor i need to speak to someone about this and i need to get medicated#i don't deserve to feel like this periods shouldn't debilitate you this much etc etc...#i don't think there's a human professional in this country that believes pmdd is a thing enough to medicate me#i know for a fact that my mother (a person i live with and in some way still holds power over me whether on purpose or by my own issues)#doesn't believe is a thing because she's the kind of person who says depressed people just need to ''choose happiness'' so...#not exactly a possibility now#not to mention i FUCKED UP the only regular client i had and now i won't be earning enough money to waste on doctor appointments#just to have some old male doctor tall me my ''womanly problems aren't bad enough'' so... yeah not doing that#ANYWAYS i don't see hope in the world today this will pass in a few weeks and everything will be fine#why don't i go watch good omens and maybe i'll calm down am i right?#lol#angel talks#personal
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