#i don’t want to swan in there like ‘hiiiii if i don’t use cannabis i become an absolutely colossal bitch’
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I seriously am a colossal bitch when I’m sober, it’s completely unnecessary. I’m absolutely sick of myself and it’s only been two weeks.
#i just become a HATER bro i don’t know what’s wrong with me#i’m going to do this reading challenge in september and one of the prompts was ‘steal a book from someone else’s tbr’#and so i was scrolling down tbr lists just going ‘this book sucks. THIS book sucks. this book SUCKS’#what’s the reason!!!!! i haven’t even heard of most of them#i become the type of person who rolls their eyes at feel good book and movie synopses#only things i’m finding interesting lately are documentaries; horror; and nail videos#like nail art and nail care and just people showing off nail polish#i tried to paint my nails tonight and it was an absolute bloodbath. spilled metallic purple nail polish down my favourite leggings#just decided to take off my whole manicure and wait til my holo taco order gets here#i don’t think i trust myself with regular width brushes#anyway i saw that the local church has recovery meetings on wednesdays but i’m really in two minds about going because i’m not an addict#i just have a dependency. it says open meetings but idk#i don’t want to swan in there like ‘hiiiii if i don’t use cannabis i become an absolutely colossal bitch’#to people who have actual real problems#also i’m kind of worried that i’ll show up and there won’t be an actual meeting and the notice will be out of date#or it’ll just be me and the reverend#i bet if i asked my friend or my mum they’d come with me but to be quite frank i’d rather slam my hand in a door#the kicker is i don’t even want to be off weed right now. i don’t want to give it up#i just have to because i can’t justify the expense. lol#personal
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