#i don’t think you understand my elation right now 💔❤️💔❤️

[zoeysandin]

when he’s gone during the day, nothing makes sense. nothing in the world matters at all ever again & everything collapses in on itself. him there meant everything had logic once more. if she couldn’t see him, touch him, hold him, be held against him at all times - what purpose was there in living anymore — what did life mean without him telling her how to think, how to be? even in her most coherent moments , she struggles not to want him to just think for her. it’s easier that way, you’ve learned. and you like it , too. you do love him, despite your family dead at his hands. you’d do anything for him and it’s not the stockholm’s syndrome and you know it. yeah, definitely not . . . he is the air you breathe and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

but she bears his absence though , because subconsciously she knows in those moments she can relax and breathe, even if she didn’t like a d m i t t i n g it ( he leaves her breathless — and always has ) ; doesn’t like remembering his violence - what he’s capable of. and yet sometimes she’ll taunt it deliberately. sometimes she likes to escape his giant mansion and take off to see if he’ll come find her.

( he always finds her. o’ , he really does love her. )

it’s been a few years now , that they’ve been at this. that she’s had the luxury of being able to be his. to drape over his back, donned in just a small frilly fluffy thing , all fuzz and silk the color of champagne and gentle pink like the blush on her cheeks whenever he speaks. the way she hangs on his every word, tracing his sharp avian features ( mine mine mine ) , once he’s finally there , home , where he’s supposed to be and belongs.

“ you have been , ” comes her whine, tearing up and wrapping one arm around his torso and the other around his neck as she clung wholeheartedly , legs wrapping around his waist now , pressing her full rosy tiers to his neck and lingering there. her skin always sensitive and ready for him - always will be. large brown hues come into glistening stillness, shadowed with that forever gently pleading gaze as he tucks away her errant stubborn tresses. “no , i was already up,” she whispers gently , smiling small at him. it’s sweet of him to ask. he’s having one of his good days today.

—————————- “do i get to go outside today?” she asks him tenderly, in her sweet and ever reverently ingratiating way, the way she knows he loves & dies for, timid as she touches her nose to his cheek dotingly , like the desperate for affection little kitten she is , never enough , never satiated of him. & then kisses his jaw.

the lavish comfort of his own bed beneath him was enough to elicit a silent hallelujah ; not enough care in the world to remove anything other than the blazer that began to feel hot and asphyxiating with a careless toss towards the foot of the mattress. ( she'd been sleeping. ) at least , THAT WAS THE IMPRESSION HE HAD INITIALLY BEEN UNDER. seated on the edge with his back facing her —— fingers were busy untying laces when her own had stretched out gently in search for him ; making her presence known. AS IF HE HADN'T NOTICED HER. as if he had forgotten that his attention was always desperately required upon setting foot in the door. he didn't. and he'd be foolish to deprive her after time apart.

@zoeysandin: i miss moments like this more than anything.

bodies lovingly connected and embraced [ ... ] but as much as he missed her and didn't quite desire to let go ; he would rather continue undressing before she fell asleep to inevitably trap him beneath the weight of her body. ❛❛ mm— ❜❜ a hum vibrated and a slow smile began to stretch across features as his gaze remained fixated on dark ceiling above. ❛❛ you say that like i've been gone forever. ❜❜ it's almost cooed back in response and his neck craned to find her at his side. DIGITS RISING ; DANCING OVER FAMILIAR CHEEKS. he brushed away the few dark stray hairs that dared conceal even a piece of her from him. ❛❛ i didn't wake you up , did i ? ❜❜