#i don’t think lando is necessarily in the wrong either

[alightwood]

okay i know i said i wanted an oscar win but the team constantly asking lando to give up the position when he was at a good pace bothers me… we didn’t have to do it like that chat

[nathaslosthershit]

A Big Question (Teen Dad!Oscar AU) Part 2

(Read part 1 of this duology first!) (Part 9 of Teen Dad!OP au) Summary: Oscar needs to mend what he broke and he needs to do it fast

Getting into the car, Honey whipped the tears from her cheeks as she made up a lame excuse as to why Oscar wasn’t with her. The driver knew that she wasn’t being truthful, but thought it best to let the girl be. Having dessert and drinks in the picnic basket that Oscar had set up for the two of them after dinner, Honey decided to not let the total night be a bust and have her own moonlight picnic on the beach while she sulked. 

Back at the restaurant, Oscar sat alone for a few minutes, digesting what had just happened before he got up and paid the bill. Walking outside, he had expected the car to still be there. Now stressed out, he got his phone to check where the car was heading, a frown appearing as he saw she was on her way to the beach, alone. 

While it wasn’t necessarily his decision to go back to racing so soon, he would be lying if he said he wasn’t thrilled that he would once again be in the car. He knew he had fucked up in the past by not prioritizing his family, but he had learned from those tough few months and wasn’t going to let it happen again. 

Deciding to let her have some time to process, Oscar ordered a car to take him home. He had expected to get back late and had told Lando to take the guest bedroom. So his friend was also not expecting him home so soon, and when Oscar came home early, alone, and clearly upset, Lando was worried.

“Mate! What happened? Where is she? Did you get to-” Lando jumped up from the couch to meet his teammate at the door.

“No, I was interrogated and let it slip about what my meeting was about and before I could say or do anything, she left the restaurant.”

“Where is she now? Do you know? She could be in trouble, it's late!”

“She took the driver and went to the beach, I assumed she wanted to be alone.” “No, you muppet! You should have absolutely followed her! Why would you let her go off alone when she is upset? She doesn’t even know the full story and you are letting her think the worst.”

Oscar hadn’t thought of that, he probably should have gotten all he wanted to say out first before leaving her alone. God, he was such an idiot to let this happen again. To his credit, Lando was being very helpful. It never dawned on Oscar that he could need relationship advice, for his relationship of 7 years, from Lando Norris himself.

“Fuck, you’re right. But I did leave her, what should I-”

“Go to her! Jesus, Oscar what are you waiting around for, this was supposed to be the perfect night and you fucked it up 45 minutes into it! Fix it now!” With that, Lando shoved his friend out the door.

Driving closer to his average speed on the track rather than the speed limit, Oscar jumped out the car the minute he saw what looked like his girlfriend’s silhouette on the sand. He had spent the short car ride thinking of what he was going to say, how he was going to fix this. The moment she looked up at him though, hiccuping from her cries, everything he had rehearsed went out the window.

Instead he got down on the sand and held her tighter than he had in a long time.

“I don’t want to end up the way we were, Oscar. We were miserable, even before the fight.” She sobbed into his neck.

“I know, sweetheart. I don’t want to end up that way either. Never, ever again.” He replied soothingly, even though he could feel his heart breaking alongside her’s.

“I just felt so alone. Watching you choose your career over me, over the kids! It was so hard to see time and time again. I am not that strong.” “Hey, you are stronger than you know possible, my love. I know I have put you through hell, getting you pregnant at 17, reacting terribly to the news, then making so many empty promises and prioritizing the wrong things. But I promise, Honey, I will never ever make those same mistakes. I meant what I said before, you are it for me. I will never love anyone the way I love you, and I will spend the rest of my life making up for my shortcomings.” He said as he cupped her cheeks, whipping away the tears. 

Seeing her smile once again, he reached into his pocket to pull out the box that had been there all night. Her eyes lit up at the realization of what it was.

“Oscar, I-”

“I know this is a terrible time, I am the reason you were sitting here, alone and crying, but this is what I had planned all along. I was, of course, going to tell you about the meeting, but after I did, I wanted to reassure you that I wasn’t going anywhere, that I would never be leaving your side for as long as I live. My career is only going to get more hectic and unpredictable as time goes on, but I am going to go through it with you all as my priorities. I am in it to win, but I am also in it to provide for you all, and I sure as hell am going to return back to you all after every race. I love you so much, Honey, ever since I saw you at that karting track, months before you had even looked at me. I know I said ‘I’d knock your socks off with this second proposal’, and I was going to! But there is nothing more important to me right now than you knowing how much you mean to me, how much the kids mean to me. So please, my love, will you marry me?” He quickly got on one knee and opened the ring box. It was the same ring as before, but he had added two tiny stones onto the band, framing the much larger diamond, on one side was his birthstone, on the other, her own. 

Trying to reply had been harder than she thought as all these new emotions of relief and unadulterated happiness caused her to, instead of answering him, sob even harder into his shoulder.

“I know this is a lot, but if its too much, if you don't want to marry m-”

“Yes! Of course I do Oscar! Oh my I- I am just so relieved and emotional I can’t-”

“Shhhh, its okay I promise.” He laughed, tears of his own starting to fall as they held each other.

Several minutes were spent recuperating until Oscar was finally able to slip the ring back onto her finger. “I hope you didn’t eat all the dessert, I was kind of hoping we could eat it together.” Oscar joked.

“Don’t worry, I didn’t touch that. The wine on the other hand-”

They sat in each other’s company well past their usual bedtime, the twins normally tiring them out enough they can’t stay up past 10. But with the engagement firing them up, they were still wide awake as they both stumbled home, deciding in their tipsy state to take the chauffeur and leave Oscar’s car there for the night. 

Lando, who had taken to the guest room hours before the happy couple got back, was relieved when he was woken up to giggles being interrupted by what was clearly a make out session. And as he heard the couple close their bedroom door, he decided it was best to put his noise canceling headphones on in order to not scar himself for life, and to let them enjoy their night without any listeners.

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, mclaren, landonorris, and 938,269 others

oscarpiastri Second times the charm or whatever they say. Who cares- I am getting married!

[unemployedhockeyfan]

Not All Breakups Are Equal Pt. 2

Summary: Lando and Eloise deal with the fallout of their friendship after Eloise left Lando standing in his Monaco apartment.

Warnings: angst I guess and I'm pretty sure just one swear word

Notes: Hi! Thanks for the support on part one!! Sorry it took a few days for this part. I write for my adult job, too, so sometimes I'm just a little too worn out to write after work.

[2.33k]

Part 1

The days in New York are easy. Daily life is just fast enough that I don’t even have the opportunity to think of the friendship breakup that’s constantly trying to pull at my heart. 

Days are nothing compared to nights. 

New York has seemingly earned its title of “The City That Never Sleeps.” I wish I could say it’s because I make my nights as fast paced as my days, but that would be one of the biggest lies I’ve ever told — second only to all the years I told myself I didn’t love Lando… At least not that way. 

My nights are filled with little to no sleep as I toss and turn in the bed squished into the tiny hotel room. All that fills my brain is his smile, his laugh and the look on his face as I walked out the door of his apartment. 

I never want to forget the smile or the laugh, but that last look is one I wish wasn’t burned into my brain. 

It’s been three weeks since I last saw or talked to Lando. He’s since won his first race in Formula 1. 

A race I wasn’t there for. 

I was supposed to be. I had a pass and in all honesty, I could’ve still shown up. If I did, though, I would’ve fallen back into the same pattern as before. The people-pleasing nature of my personality would’ve come out and I would’ve continued to let Lando’s new girlfriend talk ill about me. 

My mind was overflowing with the memories I had of watching Lando celebrate in Miami while I sat 1,200 miles north. I knew I wasn’t going to sleep tonight. At least not anymore than the three hours I had already barely managed. 

As I rolled over to grab my phone off the nightstand, the cheap digital clock was shining 3:30 a.m. 

“Hm, Max is probably up by now. I can call him,” was the initial thought that crossed my mind. 

Max wasn’t necessarily thrilled when he found out that my plane ticket landed me across the Atlantic Ocean, but he got over it relatively quickly when he found out I had friends from university in the area. 

It took a while, but the line finally connected, welcoming me to one of the most comforting voices in my life. 

“Eloise, long time no hear.”

“Yeah, sorry ‘bout that. I’ve been busy.”

“Really? Or are you just lying to me?” Max always seemed to be able to read my mind, no matter how much I wished he couldn’t.

“It’s a half lie. The days have been busy, the nights are just restless.”

“Yeah, I bet.”

The silence lasted for a few moments too long. It allowed Max just enough time to steer the conversation in a direction I was trying to avoid. 

“He misses you, Elle.”

“I saw his win in Miami. He looked happy. I couldn’t help but watch.”

“He wanted you there.”

I know Max is telling the truth. He has no reason to lie, and I know that truthfully Lando didn’t want me to leave his apartment just over a month ago, but I did. 

“You should call him, not me.”

“It depends, Max” 

“On what? Whether or not he’s broken up with his girlfriend?”

“Actually, exactly that.”

“I thought you told him you were OK if they were dating as long as she was nicer to you,” Max pushed back. 

“I am, I just don’t think she’s capable of changing in just a few weeks.” 

My voice was getting louder and I didn’t really want to take my anger out on Max. He hadn’t done anything wrong — maybe just pushed the wrong button or two. 

We sat in silence, the only noise being our breathing on either end of the line. It lasted well over a minute before I let out an exaggerated sigh. I was not only going to come clean to Max, but to myself as well. 

“Max, it's just… It’s hard and it hurts,” I said as my eyes slowly started to leak fresh tears. 

“I know, Eloise, I know. I don’t think anyone is expecting it to be easy for you or for him.”

“No, Max, I don’t just mean distancing myself from him. It’s hard to even be around him nowadays when I see how he treats other girls when all I want is for him to treat me that way.”

The pause in the conversation was deafening. With the phone pressed to my ear, I waited for Max to say something, to say anything. 

“Max?”

“Well, it’s about time you admitted it to yourself,” he said with a rather large chuckle.

“Stop, this isn’t funny.”

I was laughing too, though. I couldn’t stop. Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the fact that for the first time in a month I felt comfortable in my surroundings, but I laughed for a good three minutes before Max’s voice finally came through again. 

“You sure do laugh a lot for someone who thinks this isn’t funny!”

“Can’t help it right now.”

“I mean, I am pretty funny,” Max said with an audible smug look on his face.

“Yeah, yeah, well, looks aren’t everything.”

“Good one, Elle. I’m going to hang up on you so you have to call him.”

“I’m not going to, I need more time. Plus, he’s in Montreal right now, it’s 3:30 for him, too, and I’d imagine he’s asleep.”

“You’re stubborn, you know that, right?”

“Hm, I learned it from you.”

“Get some sleep, Eloise. Love you.”

“Love you, too, Maxy. And, I promise, I’ll call him eventually.”

It was nearly two months later before I decided it was finally time to talk to Lando again. Of course, by that point, I was well past sleep deprived between restless nights in New York and changing time zones as I returned home to the United Kingdom. 

With my brain barely functioning, I decided the best bet would be to not call Lando, but show up in Austria at his next race. I had all the passes I needed to show up thanks to both myself and Lando thinking this falling out was never going to happen. 

I managed to avoid all the areas I knew Lando would be during the days leading up to Sunday. I saw and anxiously watched as Lando raced Max for the lead. I sat and nearly cried as I watched Lando’s race come to an end just laps shy of yet another podium. 

Lando is hard on himself. He holds himself to a level that’s nearly impossible to reach, and I know his mood after this race will be anything but stellar. He’s bound to be angry, and I start to fear what his reaction will be if he sees me. 

As I stand lost and confused in the paddock, I hear my name being called by maybe one of the few people who could make me smile at this moment. 

“Eloise! Elle, is that you?”

I whip my head around to see a smiling Daniel Ricciardo jogging my way. Before I could even respond, I’m wrapped in the embrace of one of my favorite members of the F1 world. 

“What are you doing here? Does Lando know?”

“I’m assuming he’s clued you in on what’s happened?”

“Just a little, don’t know all the details.” 

“Um, yeah, well he doesn’t know I’m here. Really, I don’t even know why I’m here. I should probably leave. There was part of me that wanted to talk to him, but after everything that’s gone on just today, it’s probably best I make myself just disappear. I don’t want to make this any worse than it probably already is for him.”

“Eloise, you’re rambling.”

I couldn’t help it, I was nervous. I was standing in front of one of Lando’s former teammates and just steps away from the McLaren garage. 

“Do you want me to call him and get him down here? I really don’t think you off all people could make this moment worse for him”

“Uh, yeah, sure. Call him.”

Lando must’ve answered quickly, but it seemed to take some convincing from the Aussie to lure Lando out of his driver’s room. Eventually the word was that he was on his way down. 

I wouldn’t let Daniel leave. I couldn’t let Daniel leave. Just over a minute after Daniel had hung up the phone, I heard a voice that I’d been missing for months. 

The voice was so calming on the ears that I had a physical reaction to it. Everything seemed to calm down around me the second the first word came stumbling from Lando’s mouth. 

“What’s up, Daniel? Really just not in the mood right now.”

He didn’t respond. Daniel just stepped out of the way, revealing me to the man who still held so much of my soul. 

“Hey, Lan.” 

The tension was palpable. Lando and I stood there staring at one another as Daniel slowly disappeared to likely return to his own driver’s room. I didn’t want to say anything until he responded, but I was scared that if I waited for him, it would be silent for hours. 

“Sorry for just showing up and not calling. For some reason it seemed easier to jump on a plane than it did to pick up the phone.” 

“You’re here? In Austria? You’re here, really here? I went back home, I called and nothing. Now, you’re just here?”

“Lan, I’m sorry. I needed space. I just didn’t know the best way to come back.”

I could tell Lando was trying to not get angry. His body language becomes so easy to read after knowing him for years.

His hand ran through the curls on his head after rubbing his face almost too hard. 

“Um, let’s just go to my driver’s room. We probably shouldn’t have this conversation in public.” 

The walk to his room was awkward. There were eyes glancing at us and some whispers, too. I knew it had been awhile since I had been at one of these, but this surely wasn’t the reaction I was expecting. 

“Listen, Eloise, I’m not mad. I’m just confused. You left me in my apartment and then disappeared for months with nothing from you. I had to rely on Max to at least know you were alive.”

Lando took a seat on his makeshift bed after making room next to him for me to sit. 

“I know, Lando. I can only imagine how much it hurt you for me to leave, but I had to protect myself. I was hurting so much.”

“I never wanted to hurt you.”

Lando was crying. With the events that had already unfolded today, this really wasn’t the best time for this conversation, but it didn’t look like I could avoid it any longer. 

“Lan, I know you didn’t want to hurt me.” 

Before I could stop myself, I was wiping the tears that were starting to spill from his eyes. He looked so vulnerable at this moment. 

“And, really, Lando, I don’t think I ever really felt hurt by you. I just wanted you to hear me and it felt like you were blinded by some love.” 

“It wasn’t love. It was lust or some shit like that. It just definitely wasn’t love.”

I’m not sure how I was really supposed to take that revelation. Was he still seeing her? Was it still too new that he was just describing it as lust?

My confusion must’ve been evident on my face because before I could utter a response, Lando was talking again. He was talking to me as he slowly grabbed both of my hands in his, running his thumbs over the back of them. 

“She’s gone. She’s not in the picture anymore. The day after you left, Max and I had a heart-to-heart. Really, he kind of laid into me and wouldn’t stop. He kept saying that some fling was never going to be worth what you meant to me — what you mean to me.”

It was my turn to start crying. The tears didn’t flow as fast as they did the night I walked out of his apartment, but they were there. Lando quickly pulled me into his chest, placing a needed kiss on my temple. 

“Eloise, I will spend every day for the rest of my life apologizing for allowing her to say those things about you.”

“You don’t need to apologize,” my voice slightly muffled but my head in his chest. 

As I leaned back, I grabbed his hands once again and looked him in the eyes — those eyes that have held me captive since I was 13. 

“Why didn’t you come find me after you broke it off with her? Max isn’t that strong, he would’ve told you where I was in a heartbeat if he knew it was over.”

“I knew where you were. I knew you were tucked away in a crummy New York hotel room. I just wanted to give you space. Telling you she was gone would’ve just rushed you, and I didn’t want to do that.”

“You really do surprise me sometimes, Lando Norris. Can we go back to being friends again? I can’t do life without you in it.”

“About that…”

About what? What could Lando possibly want to say to me? I thought this conversation was going well, I thought it was oddly healing in a way. Was he about to push me out the door this time? 

“I don’t know if we can be friends again, Eloise.”

Oh my god this really is it. Our friendship is ending. After months of me not letting it die in my brain as I took my own space, Lando Norris was about to shatter my heart into a million unrecoverable pieces. 

“We can’t be friends because it’s not OK for friends to love one another the way I love you.”

“Wait, what?”

[f0point5]

I have a hot take… that mclaren is not a rb19 kinda car so it actually makes sense that Lando/Oscar are not always winning like some expect them to be. That mclaren has not consistently been the same rocketship that redbull and Mercedes have had in the past. And I get that for some it’s a bit oh but x driver would have won if they were in that fast mclaren so it’s Lando that’s problem but that’s such a big if

The data that’s out there right now supports the theory that the McLaren is not as universally great as people expected that it was.

However, the RB19, we now know, was not that universally great either. It had a lot of kinks and the design philosophy went in the wrong direction for a lot of last year. Just…we didn’t realise because Max was winning. But if you look at Checo’s results and complaints…the writing was on the wall. I’m not saying it wasn’t a great car because Max obviously did what he did with it, but I don’t think it was the car we all thought it was either.

I think that “if x was in the car” thing is a bit reductive. Because…variables. Using Max as an example…if Max was in the car, would GP be his engineer? Because already that turns the tides massively. Their communication and synergy in Brazil was second to none. It was crucial to winning the race. If Max is in the car…is the strategy still the same? The driver is a consideration when they’re doing the strategy. Would McLaren have left Max out in Brazil even though they called Lando in? Maybe. Because Lando wanted to come in earlier while Max is on the radio happy to stay out. If Max was in the car…he wins in Hungary. No question. So how does that affect the team dynamic…I could go on. There are SO many variables that saying “if X was in the car” doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

However, I maintain that there are drivers and teams who could have done more with the car advantage that McLaren have had this year. Not necessarily that car, but I mean in terms of how well they’ve developed and the mistakes others have made, I think a different driver and a different team could have capitalised more.

That being said, it is nowhere near as simple as sitting someone else in the McLaren and going “now win a championship”

[milfclaren]

Please go on a rant about Lando’s birth chart now

oh God. y’all really want me to talk til i’m blue in the face huh?

disclaimer: this chart reading is limited, as lando has not shared his birth time and because of that, i can’t know his rising sign. if i had to guess, it feels like his chart ruler is either mercury (gemini/virgo) or venus (taurus/libra) but that’s just my initial thought, purely based on vibes. i’ll do my reading with no rising sign, as i would rather be ill-informed than flat out wrong.

if you haven’t seen lando’s chart + aspects, it looks something like this:

and if this is all shapes and colors to you, don’t worry!dr. yaps-a-lot is here!

first thing first, holy fuck there’s a lot of mars and saturn influence. like, there is so much of both. this is not uncommon for an athlete’s chart, as when we think of mars, we think of action and when we think saturn, we think of discipline. his sun and mercury are both in scorpio, moon and mars are in capricorn, and his libra is in venus. his saturn is in taurus, and although saturn is a more outer planet and it moves very slowly, i will talk a bit on his saturn because it is so fucking prevalent in his chart. it aspects three of his major placements.

we’ll start with basics, with his scorpio sun. we all know the stereotypes for scorpio suns (moody, possessive liars) so i won’t talk too much about those traits. your sun sign is supposed to frame your approach or perspective, and scorpio is a fixed sign ruled by mars — the planet of action, strategy, ambition; the physical means with which you use to achieve your goals. lando’s incredibly dedicated and incredibly passionate about what he does, we know this. he’s got a strong loyalty to his beliefs. he is firm and uncompromising about the convinctions he holds as true. scorpio also rules the subconscious or unknown, which means that the sun is not necessarily comfortable here but lando exhibits scorpio sun behavior clearly and constantly. this is in part because his sun and mercury are conjunct — there are very few degrees separating them and they are working in tandem with one another.

mercury in a birth chart represents communication - it shapes the way you communicate with the world and express yourself entirely. in scorpio, it means he’s a very intuitive, observant communicator. one of the most interesting landoisms is how receptive he is to the other person in the conversation, especially when it comes to his self-perception and how he alters that, as i talked about previously. a ‘more traditional’ sun conjunct mercury individual is able to communicate a more unified approach in how they share themselves with others. there’s an alignment or harmony with the things they say/believe and the things they do. lando’s mercury is in retrograde, which means things are not as straightforward for him. a planet in retrograde is just a planet moving in the opposite of it’s intended direction — meaning, it will sometimes do the opposite of what it’s intended to do. his style of communication is not as direct as one might traditionally see with this aspect. adding to that, his mercury is in the sign of scorpio, which represents the unknown/subconscious. he can come across as contradictory, or confusing. in the aforementioned post i said (from his perspective) people are dedicated to misunderstanding him — this is what i mean. what he communicates, lando intends as genuine. But what you interpret could be entirely the opposite of what of he intended. just because lando is frank and direct, does not mean that he’s clear or forthcoming. this is maybe why people have a hard time discerning what he means most of the time — it’s hard to know when he’s joking and when he’s serious, when he’s lying and when he’s telling the truth.

his sun also opposes his saturn. saturn represents a lot of things astrologically; control, discipline, consequences, structure, obligation. an opposition is when two planets are 180 degrees from one another — representing two opposing facets of the same ideal in a way. for him to be most successful, he has to find balance. this is maybe where that struggle for control i talked about before comes from, and it’s a huge part of why he’s overly self-critical. lando has always held himself to impossible expectations, and struggles most with his own disappointment when he fails to meet those goals. (even if they were maybe not achievable goals in the first place.) it’s important for him not to sabotage himself in this regard, because other parts of his chart actually set him up well to achieve his goals. shame and self-doubt could be the biggest thief of all his joy and success.

since we’re talking saturn, let’s get into his capricorn moon and mars. his moon and his mars are conjunct, and additionally, his sun sextiles both of these placements. (a sextile is often a favorable aspect, it means there’s 60 degrees of separation between the two placements, leading to a complementary relationship with them — bringing balance or harmony, in this case.)

the moon represents your emotional world, and your inner perception of self. lando’s moon being in capricorn is so fucking fitting. he’s pragmatic, headstrong, defiant, guarded and overly self-critical. capricorn often represents where there is more structure and order in an area of someone’s chart, but the moon is detriment in capricorn. your inner emotional world is a deepily illogical and vulnerable place, and lunar capricorns are people who look to logic and pragmatism to create a sense of order and safety. people with this placement feel things very deeply, though. any feeling too strong for them to understand or control must be suppressed, and if can’t be, they’ll likely throw themselves head-over-foot into whatever goals they have to ignore the feeling anyhow. usually, any attempts to suppress or control emotions they don’t understand lead to the emotions controlling them in ways they don’t recognize. and i mean, i think it’s clear lando does Not enjoy expressing a lot of emotion. (his moon trines his saturn: he takes pride in being able to control and restrain his emotions.) he would much rather come across as cool and unaffected, especially if he doesn’t trust you. trust is a HUGE thing for capricorn moons — very hard to gain, very easy to lose. they usually have a harder time trusting people who are flakier or inconsistent emotionally. i often think of when lando and luisa broke up, and he spent a good few months literally never sitting still. he picked up fucking dj’ing so he had a day job AND a nighttime hobby. or i think of how long it took him a bit more time to really open up and understand daniel, someone that lives a lot in emotional extremes/floats between them frequently.

i’ve already talked a lot about mars, but let’s dig into mars in capricorn right quick. this is sexyyy, to me. capricorn loves to be in mars - it’s all about productivity, and mars loves to take action. he’s incredibly disciplined and goal-oriented but probably doesn’t allow himself to enjoy the fruits of his labor nearly enough. he is headstrong in succeeding anyways. i don’t find him to be showboaty or cocky. rather, he leads more by doing or showing and less by saying. generally, he’s also going to feel more rewarded when he sees the tangible results of the work he’s putting in. he may not be patient, but he is persistent. eventually, he will get there and he will get there his way [mars trines his saturn]. he’s just as determined as he is cautious, and he has an impossible amount of focus for the things he wants to achieve. it’s why failing while learning something new doesn’t scare him off. he doesn’t stop playing golf despite the fact that he’s not great at it — he likes golfing, so he took the time to learn how to do it himself, and there is some level of pride in that. circling back to moon conjunct mars: the things he has passion for, he loves to do and he throws himself into them totally. think of his revolving door of hobbies, how he gets fixated on one for weeks or months at a time and then once the passion dissipates, he moves on to the next one. all the aforementioned warnings of being overly doubtful or self critical still stand but lando has talked about not believing himself but trying anyways. at least twice before! i find that to be a very mars in capricorn sentiment, or a very unique way to use self doubt as a sense of motivation at the least. having the motivation to try something knowing you’re going to fail over and over again comes from nothing but passion, though that’s a very realistic way to look at trying and doing and learning.

and now, let’s talk venus in libra. i think his whole chart is good, but this is one of my favorite placements ever. venus represents your relationships with and to other people. libra is in its domicile (home planet) — it’s comfortable here. a libra venus is someone who might prioritize the traditional pleasures in life: they like beautiful people, places, things and ideas. think him traveling to absurd corners of the world, all his rumored partners being models, all of his cars are customized down to the very smallest details.

people who have venus in libra are charming and affable — most people lando meet end up really liking him. he’s kind, thoughtful and by nature, dedicated to what he considers right, just or fair. libra placements often get painted as a peacemaker, but in the case of libra venus i more see it as them trying to figure out what you need/what the dynamic needs and prioritizing that, to instill balance. think of lando’s dynamic with daniel versus with oscar. daniel was louder and goofier by nature so lando felt he had more of a chance to be quieter and more chilled. oscar was more serious and much more reserved at first, so lando took it upon himself to be a bit louder and sillier. he lead in bridging that gap — so that oscar would eventually feel comfortable enough to do the same. people with venus in libra traditionally enjoy feeling needed, and might look for opportunities to do so. (in my mind’s eye, i’m replaying the video of lando grabbing carlos’ gloves from where carlos set them down, just so he could hand them to carlos put them on.) they need to be cautious and firm with the boundaries they set. people who rely on them too heavily, and offer them nothing in return will cause them to feel great amounts of resentment and distrust. the beauty lives in the balance, babey.

i’m gonna step off my soapbox but before i do, i want to point out his north node. the north node is supposed to be what you’re working towards in this lifetime. lando’s north node is in leo, which means most of the work he’s going to do in this lifetime is directly related to developing his sense of self, strengthening his self-expression and reassessing the relationship he has to intimacy and vulnerability. in the context of the rest of his chart, i find that hilarious. oh my sweet sweet landito, the stars really had it out for you….

[captainnameless]

I do agree that max drove a great race and was ahead of the apex on lap 55, and whilst I would say lando did deserve the penalty in some way, I was surprised that max hadn’t gotten a penalty as well or been the only one to at least, since in the regulations it says that the driver being overtook has to be within track limits which shows he’s in control of the car, and since max was very obviously not in track limits, then that would go against the regulations so he probably should’ve gotten the penalty for it. they even said on the document that lando had to go wide in order to not cause an accident, and that’s why they didn’t add it to his tally of track limits which is why he didn’t get another penalty. this whole thing is confusing.

I agree with lap 1 though, as lap 1 incidents normally don’t and honestly shouldn’t be penalised but lap 55? i’m quite confused by the inconsistency of the penalties🫣

But really tho, not much anyone can do now since the decisions been made🤷‍♀️ no hate to u though, if i’m wrong in any of this then u or someone else can pull me up on it ofc🙏🤍

if those are the regulations (do you have a link for me?) then they still don’t apply in this instance, do they? i’m always willing to be corrected/learn more but Max had switched to being the overtaker (not the car being overtook) at least that’s what i gathered from Sky Sports’ analyst Anthony Davidson (who really would not be defending Max if he had any doubt to go off of). i’ll link the video for you here.

and i still think that there just isn’t an instance where you can overtake outside of the white lines if you hadn’t been objectively ahead for a while or at the apex first, that would seem a little silly to me? and i feel like if those were then regulations that McLaren would have been at the stewards with a black and white printed sheet immediately to overturn the penalty because “not much anyone can do now a decision has been made” is not true… penalties can be overturned, it also says so in the paperwork that teams have the right to appeal this decision. Aston Martin did for Fernando Alonso and got his podium reinstated. link

and what would Max have gotten a penalty for? he was ahead at the apex, so he cant get a penalty for “forcing another driver off track” (right? willing to be corrected here as always) and he did get a strike for track limits, but that was only his second one, so he can’t get a penalty for track limits either?

so again, what would we be giving Max a penalty for? bc i don’t necessarily agree Max wasn’t in control of the car, he turned the car and barely went over track limits. (which again, doesn’t excuse a track limits violation but it wasn’t his fourth strike so no penalty there)

a lot of the time even lap 1 incidents will be penalized if it shows the driver wasn’t in control of the car (George Russell getting a penalty for taking out Carlos Sainz in T1 at the Austin GP 2022, for example) so i feel like if McLaren had any reasonable doubt Max wasn’t in control of the car or had regulations backing up their driver they would’ve thrown the rulebook at the stewards. and maybe they are, i haven’t checked yet if they have appealed the decision but i honestly doubt they have.

so, in my humble opinion, there wasn’t any inconsistency regarding the penalties this week. stewards had been on the penalty dealing. 4 were dished out and McLaren should have never risked it.

anyway that’s my opinion, thank you for sharing yours! <3 i genuinely mean it when i say i’m always open to be corrected or taught something i may have overlooked.

[f1-obsessed333]

https://x.com/formuLau16/status/1829135670561964049

I don’t think Daniel said anything wrong necessarily, but this situation didn’t need a comment because it’s not that deep, especially since he has nothing to do with it

Okay so even though I initially was a bit annoyed at Lando for that comment, I’m have now calmed down a bit and I see it as pure fighting talk.

I respect him for saying it. I’m not saying that I like it as I am a Max fan first, but I respect it.

The fact that Daniel brought it up unprompted tells me that Max and Lando or at least one of them had talked to him about it though. So its not not deep either.

Daniel knows them both very well so I have no reason to doubt his assessment regarding how they both felt about it.

[fcb-mv33]

#if Daniel gave that much of a shit about Maxs character#he would have defended him after DTS like max did for Lando#but he never did#so don’t act like Daniel is someone who max should be like

These tags though!!! You don't have to post this because it will clearly be controversial, but Daniel has never really struck me as this "poster child on how to be a good person" that his fans try to paint him as anyway. He's good at being good for PR, which isn't necessarily a bad thing - it's clearly worked out for him, as evidenced by his passionate fanbase. However, he's had ample opportunities to go against the grain and show that he's actually a good person. And he's failed to do so every time.

During his time at Red Bull, he could have acknowledged Max's talent instead of pulling the victim "they're prioritizing my teammate and not giving me a chance!" narrative. He also had the opportunity to do this with Lando at McLaren. He didn't take either opportunity and instead made excuses. Ironically enough, Alex's F1 career nearly came to an end after "underperforming" versus Max, yet he's ALWAYS talked about how talented Max is. There was nothing but pride and ego standing in the way of Daniel doing that for the same teammates he felt threatened or outperformed by.

He could have called the DTS dogs off the first time they portrayed Max as a villain to further pull the "Daniel is such a victim" card. He, again, had the opportunity to do this with the way DTS portrayed Lando. He didn't defend his teammates either time. Coincidentally, Max was the one who said something when he saw DTS doing the same thing to Lando that they had done to him.

Daniel saw the way Oscar, a rookie, was painted as a villain and received hate and harassment from his stans for doing nothing other than taking the opportunity for a F1 seat. Never said a word to call his guard dogs off and be a decent person.

When he went on that Tom Segura podcast, he had the opportunity to call them out on their sexist, misogynistic, xenophobic jokes. He didn't. Instead he giggled along with him.

Daniel is a funny guy, and clearly he knows how to manipulate and make PR work for him. I don't know that I would go as far as calling him a "good person" due to that. He's a "good person" in a follow the leader sense. If others on the grid are raising awareness for something or taking a stand against racism, he has no problem going along with them. When he's on his own and has the opportunity to be a good person though, he somehow ALWAYS fails to rise to the occasion. I can't say the same for Max - if he believes someone he cares about has been done wrong, he's going to say something no matter how hated or unpopular it makes him; Max is going to stand up for what and who he believes in. I literally couldn't name one thing Daniel believes in despite him driving for 2 teams I support now; he just says whatever the media wants to hear.

I didn’t think anyone would read that tag lmao😭😭but nah I agree with you tbh on all of this.

I liked Daniel i do And i do think he’s a a good person definitely but I also think that he knows how much he is v much loved thanks to his character in the sport and tbh he does know he’s always going to be loved by the fans and just in general the people within f1. I think he did also see how being the way he is a v much something that can protect him as well tbh against being called out over his driving and also his v poor decisions he has done before.

He does talk about how talented max is yes but he has always kinda put the idea that he left cause the team were treating him as the second driver as the reason he left and he never actually came out and told his side to not attack Max or Lando or oscar over him leaving reed bull and getting the sack from Mclaren. He knew what way DTS portrayed Max and he let it go on because he was their poster child which meant that Max had to be the big bad villain and never once did Daniel say “hold on, he’s 19/20 this isn’t how he is and it isn’t fair”. Instead daniel just rolled with it which was his decision sure but people saying he’s great when it comes to calling out shit is so not true because he never called it out like Max did for Lando.

Like do I think his personality is who he is definitely I think he’s always been like this but I do think that he knows it will help him when it comes to the media and being v popular in it. Like you said what you see is what you get with Max, he calls out shit he doesn’t agree with and stands for other drivers so that’s why I don’t get why other fans act like Daniel has helped to mold Max?? When they aren’t exactly the exact same🤷🏼‍♀️

[wtflife01]

So for Daniel fans - which bad results this year have actually been his fault? I'm asking genuinely so I can know which were apparently due to team mistakes //

So… Not a huge Daniel fan but saw a TikTok that showed this earlier and then decided to go see what McLaren said after each race about his results since they tend to confirm any issues with the car and I was sceptical of what the person was saying. Feel like I can be objective in this as I’m not what you’d call a Daniel fan - I like all the drivers but had favourites which he is not. I’m assuming you mean races when he didn’t score points as for bad results so I’ve only looked at races when he was outside the top 10 but I do remember in two races he did score points, team orders were used and his fans weren’t happy as it did affect his result more maybe -

•imola - Daniel going into Carlos was his fault. But people have said that McLaren kind of ruined any process he made by putting him on hards towards the end of the race. But it was initially all his fault and I think he would have remained pointless anyway

•Miami - didn’t have car issues. It looks like people said his quali was impacted by leaving the garage too late to try and improve his time which if correct is to blame on McLaren for his bad quali result. But he had no issues with the car so could have made positions. Looks like he just struggled with pace if anything.

•Monaco - did bad in quali and it’s a track known to be hard to overtake on. Did make up a position but didn’t make enough progress to overtake.

•Canada - Andreas mentioned they just had a bad weekend overall but Daniel didn’t have any issues with his car. I will mention he almost got p10 but it says he got caught at the end by stroll as mentioned in their race commentary. Both mclarens were pointless this weekend though - both drivers mentioned they just didn’t have pace.

•I guess Bahrain but lando didn’t do well either but there was no car issue I believe. but it could be argued that the car was just bad that race weekend since both drivers were affected. But the results were not down to the team itself - Daniel did finish above lando in this race though. Basically this race can be argued whether it was either drivers fault or because it was the first race and the car was just not great that weekend.

Going over the commentary, these are the races he had issues with the car as I don’t think it’s necessarily McLaren’s fault but more so the car itself, not strategy -

•Saudi - dnfed due to gear box issues

•Spain - apparently issue with the rear of the car and confirmed by Andreas as was said to be an issue that started towards the end of quali the day before.

•Great Britain - had an issue with drs which meant he was unable to use it for half the race after McLaren had to permanently shut it during the race during a pit stop since it can’t be open all the time else he would have been disqualified I believe. Made overtaking very difficult as didn’t matter if was in drs range as gained no advantage.

•Austria - as has been said, he was doing well and then was pitted for hards and that seemed to have compromised his race. In general hard tyres negatively affected all the drivers who had pitted for them and Daniel allegedly asked to go on softs instead as he was advised earlier of the alpines issues but that was ignored.

So half of his races weren’t pointless due to him doing anything wrong. It was actually the car. Which makes me think people saying he’s washed up and should retire is a little harsh now… because I did think his diehard fans were just trying to shift blame 😶

This was actually kind of interesting to do so if anyone wants me to do it for another driver, just say 😅

.

[fastcarsgovroom]

Don’t really know what to make of still it but here goes (the Lando Norris issue) Pt 4

This is about the Lando Norris and Max Fewtrell (and other involved streamers) issue so you don't need to read it if it's not in your best interest to. I don’t know if this thing is supposed to have blown over or anything, but I’m posting because heck this is my blog and I want to post about things I think are in line with my personal philosophy (and maybe in-group).    

The entire rant is in five parts:  

Part 1 is where I describe very basically the entire situation, essentially what I saw happening through posts on the tumblr, twitter, and reddit Lando Norris tags  

Part 2 is me trying to describe why some fans felt what they felt and reacted the way they did  

Part 3 is the videos and what was said of them and how I interpreted them  

Part 4 the ‘misinformation’ idk

Part 5 is like, a rant.

Part 4: ‘Misinformation’

TW for talks about sex, sexism, and misogyny Under the cut

Ultimately, these reactions were based on Lando’s and Max F’s conversations about their personal lives, without much context as to what they were referencing. Some fans reacted wholly based on other people’s reporting, i.e., if one OP said Lando was sexist and misogynistic, then it was repeated that Lando was sexist and misogynistic, without necessarily examining the original material to see if it was true.

This lead to some statements being taken as fact, even if the original words and meaning was open to interpretation. Some statements even seemed (a little value judgement here from me) to have come from nowhere, and some even seemingly factually wrong (are there even facts involved here?)

The most egregious ones are:

1. Lando (and Max F) intentionally and maliciously objectifying women, calling women ‘it’,  ‘that’, and ‘the [descriptor]’.

In the original clip, Lando does refer to women as ‘the [descriptor]’, which others have pointed out is a totally normal way to refer to people without  using names (e.g.,  ‘the bald one’, ‘the short one’, ‘the hot one’ etc).

The ‘it’ appears to be referring to the situation / topic being discussed rather than a person, and was said by Max F.

2. Women were only worth listening to if they (Lando, Max F) received sexual gratification

I think there was a clip or part of a stream that implies this, but I’m not sure where or what it is so can’t comment. (Seen the clip, updated comments).

In reference to a woman’s companionship/hookup, Max F did imply that conversations with women were ‘complete and utter waffle’, and that ‘you gotta do what you gotta do; sacrifices do bring about great things.” This is taken as meaning that either they listened to women only to get sexual gratification, or that women are only worth listening to if they get sex out of it in the end. Both versions were circulated, and both are very disrespectful and misogynistic. At the risk of sounding like a Lando apologist, Lando himself did not say this, and did not necessarily agree with this sentiment. His silence may indicate his complacence, or his unease. But, again, we do not have the full context of what is essentially a private conversation made carelessly on a public stream.

The other thing that may be connected to this statement is the ‘star sign’ clip, where Lando implies the topic is boring and to ‘get up and leave’ if a woman starts a conversation about star signs. If so, I can see how it’s associated with this statement, but it’s still a reach. His reaction to star signs could have ranged from a bad personal experience or him being a regular douchebag about star signs.

3. Lando and Max F used a sex position as a nickname for a woman they know

The nickname is ‘cowboy’, and I have no idea where this came from. Others claim that the nickname is derived from an emoji, or some reference to the men’s personal lives the typical fan is not privy to.

I have no idea how this is associated with a sex position, except that there is one called ‘cowgirl’, and because the whole issue was about disrespectful men and sex, the ‘cowboy’ reference is somehow conflated with the nickname. But for all we know, it’s about someone just really likes Pixar and Tom Hanks.

Part 5

[weraceasone]

Hi Elle

Im quite new to F1, but I've been watching a lot (since im on year end break), and ive come to adore the whole grid, all 19 of them. Ive noticed Max loves to run his mouth, not sure why he thinks thats a good idea in a sport full of politicking, but it frustrates me to no end. Because I adore him at times, and I hate him at times and I can't help but feel like he's just killing his own career through ruining his relationship with other teams. He wont be in red bull forever, and with the way he runs his mouth, i doubt any team is very excited to give him a seat if his talent comes with a side of his attitude. Its so frustrating because i know he's a good driver, i always want him to do well but this mentality of his that he can just get away with things is so annoying. I hope his actions of today won't come back to bite him in the ass because i think he's champion material. I also feel reluctant to support red bull at times but I adore Checo, and i wont wish a bad car or season upon anyone, because the team of engineers and mechanics that works hard doesn't deserve it, don't deserve to have people wish them terrible results when they work so hard, just because their leaders are some assholes. I just wanted to vent my frustration because anywhere else, especially f1twt is so brutal for some noob like me haha. I hope you're having a wonderful day, Elle!

[i also wonder if you dislike max? a lot of people do, i cant blame them, but i just wanted to know :)))))]

hey Anon!

(first of all, I wanted to say that you saying F1twt is a bit brutal for new fans made me a bit sad. I just want to say that you shouldn’t ever feel bad about not knowing something, and you also shouldn’t be made to feel bad for not knowing something. what an unkind response from people to drag down another person for not knowing every single thing. always feel free to ask me anything🧡)

do I like Max? hmmm, not really. but I don’t hate him either. when you’re young and you look at the villain in a movie, there’s always this sort of moment in the movie when you realize ‘oh, they have a good side too’. I think something that I’ve realized this past year, is that as much as I wish for them to be, most people aren’t completely, from head to toe, bad. when it comes to a person, there’s no such thing as black and white. I think that’s kind of how I view Max. he can be funny. I like him with Lando and Daniel and I think the comments he sometimes makes are funny. I like how he talks about his mother and sister and I thought it was really sweet how he was reminding his team to drink during races. yet, I don’t like Max. I don’t like the way he talks about people in a negative way, I don’t like how he doesn’t kneel, and I don’t like how he never apologizes when he did something wrong. I can’t bring myself to hate him, though. I was raised in a hard way, it was nothing compared to the way Max was raised, but I was never taught to be kind; I was taught that kindness was synonymous with weakness. I had to learn how to be kind all by myself. I know how hard it is to go from a clenched fist to an open palm, and I know that you have to take your own responsibility in life and look beyond the way you were raised. I know how hard it is to see your own red flags when you were raised by bulls (I swear, no pun intended). the difference between Max and I is that I never started working in an environment that told me, from day one, I needed to be harsh, emotionless and cruel in order to survive. I was never told I couldn’t show emotion, I was never told that if words weren’t enough, my fists would also do. do I think Max should have learned from his past actions; do I think he should have learned from the way he was raised and be the exact opposite? yes, I do. am I angry with Max for not doing that? no, not necessarily. there’s this desire from people to look at another person and want them to be perfect, even to the point where we even start to believe they are perfect. we look at these drivers and so desperately project all of our ideals onto them, and when they say or do something that doesn’t fit into the image we’ve created in our heads, it feels as if our world is breaking down piece by piece. and you know… it’s not feasible. it’s such a fragile idea to believe another person is perfect. these people aren’t our perception of them, just like our friends aren’t, just like our parents aren’t. we just have an idea in our heads based on the parts they chose to show us. it’s not a real thing. they are just as much human as we are, and they have the right to disappoint us. and just like they have a right to disappoint me, I also have a right to be disappointed in them. but at the end of the day, I have a perception of him in my head that probably doesn’t completely match with reality and that awareness shouldn’t get lost somewhere in between. 

(this got super, super long. I’m sorry about that, Anon. I hope you’re having a good day! 🧡)

[ghostswemake]

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy

I’ve finally seen Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker, which I did not see in theaters for a variety of reasons. One of which was simply that life got in the way. My thoughts are below the spoiler bar.

I was pretty happy when Disney acquired Lucasfilm and announced that there would be new Star Wars movies, as Star Wars has been my favorite film franchise since I was a kid. If I could be anything in the fictional universes that exist, it would be a Jedi Knight. That hasn’t changed since I was 9 years old.

The Force Awakens:

I don’t have much to say about TFA; it was a fun, nostalgic return to the galaxy that we all know and love. I loved the new characters, especially BB-8, who I think gets short-shrift in the latter two movies, and loved seeing Harrison Ford back as Han Solo and his interactions with Rey and Finn.

The Last Jedi:

The first time I saw this one I thought it might be the worst Star Wars movie, which would be saying something given Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace, but as I saw it more times it became one of my favorites behind only The Empire Strikes Back and A New Hope.

I initially agreed with Mark Hamill in disagreeing with Luke’s arc in this movie, but I now feel like Rian Johnson was completely correct that this was, if not the only, certainly the best explanation for why Luke is in hiding on Ahch-To. Furthermore, I think it’s the most interesting, and, despite what anyone will say, fully in line with Luke’s character. Even in Return of the Jedi he lets his emotion get the best of him at times, so why should we assume that between the two movies anything has fundamentally changed? He failed his family, in his mind, and so he went into hiding because he couldn’t handle the shame or face Leia or Han. People for some reason wanted Luke to suddenly turn into a perfect Jedi Knight like Obi-Wan Kenobi or Yoda, which would not have matched any of the character development that came in the original trilogy. Remember when he quit training with Yoda in Empire to save his friends? Remember when he refused to kill Darth Vader despite Obi-Wan and Yoda telling him that his father was dead and killing Vader was the only way? He was never the perfect Jedi, much like his father, but, unlike his father, he refused to turn to the dark side regardless.

The relationship, however you choose to interpret that word in this case, between Rey and Kylo Ren/Ben in this movie is amazingly well done, I think. You’re never quite sure which one will swap sides, if either, and just when you think Ben has come to his senses, he retrenches into the dark side as Kylo Ren and forces Rey to abandon him. Superbly well written and acted.

The relationship, really only one way to interpret that word in this case, that develops between Rose and Finn is well done as well, though the casino scene is my least favorite part of the movie. But the actors do well, and the rest of their scenes are great. Especially with Benicio del Toro.

And what an amazing ending, when Luke Force-projects himself to Crait and has that final moment with Leia, made all the more impactful given Carrie Fisher’s untimely passing. Beautiful moment between two characters and two actors with so much history, and I think Johnson did an amazing job with it on his end. Then Luke’s showdown with newly self-appointed Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is one of the best fights in the entire series, which is saying a whole lot, but not necessarily because of the quality of the lightsaber duel itself, which is certainly excellent. Adam Driver’s wonderfully unhinged performance going up against Mark Hamill’s delightfully dismissive and just on the right side of humorous performance is perfect for where we’re at and where the characters are at at this point in the film.

I think Rian Johnson gets a lot of heat for trying to make something different in a Star Wars movie, which he definitely did, but I think it was just what Star Wars needed. The Force Awakens was essentially Star Wars at its essence, and that’s great because Star Wars is and was amazing, but The Last Jedi decided to do new things and there’s nothing wrong with that. In fact, it just makes Star Wars better because it’s now got more depth. I think Rian Johnson is a hero for that.

The Rise of Skywalker:

I admit that I had problems with this movie before I really had any idea what it was about simply because of how Disney, J. J. Abrams, some of the crew, and even some of the cast promoted this movie as being almost the anti-Last Jedi and disparaging the previous movie. Sometimes subtly and sometimes not so much. This just put a bad taste in my mouth, especially given how much I love The Last Jedi. This was another reason I didn’t see it in theaters.

This was much more in line with The Force Awakens as being quintessential Star Wars, or at least it was meant to be, but in this case it was much less fun, in my opinion.

Our core group, Rey, Finn, Chewbacca, and Poe Dameron, are back together throughout most of the film, and Lando is back as well, which is very nice to see. But it’s not nearly as interesting this go-around as Poe has suddenly become somewhat insufferable and Finn is more or less just there. Rey carries the group but suffers from having no one interesting to play off of with Kylo Ren as an immediate foil. Fortunately they do reunite and the two actors pick up where they left off, though their relationship suffers without Johnson there to guide it, in my opinion. Rose is cast aside as if she’s nothing more than a piece of trash in this movie in probably one of the more disgusting choices any filmmaker or studio has made catering to the stupidest portion of the Star Wars fanbase who disliked the character for no particular reason.

The saddest part of this movie is Carrie Fisher’s role as Leia, which is simply pieced together from extra footage shot during the filming of The Force Awakens. Unfortunately this is clearly evident and Leia really becomes a token character that, if I’m being brutally honest, should have been left out of this movie. This is not Carrie Fisher’s fault, obviously, and I don’t even blame the filmmakers, as it could have been perceived as an insult to her legacy to leave her out, but it was probably the right call for the story in light of her death.

The worst part of this movie, in my opinion, is the resurrection of Emperor Palpatine, because it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever for this trilogy and is, unfortunately, central to the plot. The only reason I can think of to bring Palpatine back is because Abrams wanted to undo what Johnson did in The Last Jedi by making Rey’s parents “no one,” and make her the granddaughter of Palpatine. But there’s no reason that you needed to bring Palpatine himself back to bring weight to this revelation, and, in fact, I think it did harm to Rey’s character and Kylo Ren’s character by taking the focus off of them. They could have used that to much greater effect if Palpatine himself wasn’t there overshadowing them. Regardless, Palpatine appearing in this film made absolutely zero sense, and really took this trilogy into a completely different, and less interesting, direction. I feel like Abrams did a great job introducing all these new characters, and then Johnson gave them real purpose and conflict, and then Abrams came back and stole the rug out from under them for no reason other than to do it.

I don’t know if this is the worst Star Wars movie, but it’s in that conversation and that’s extremely disappointing. It’s certainly the one that bothers me the most. There was so much potential for the ending of the saga and it feels like it was completely thrown away for no reason, or, worse, to spite Rian Johnson, which would be gross.

[corellian-smuggler]

25 star wars asks: 1 - 25 Go!

Woah!!!

1. do you find force users or non-force users more interesting?

I don’t necessarily think whether or not a character has the Force has any bearing on how interesting they are—so I’d say I’m neutral on this topic!

2. which character do you want to be most like?

Both Leia and Luke. Both of them are brave, both take a stand for what they believe in. Both are leaders. Leia is fiercely intelligent, competent, and passionate. Luke is loyal, optimistic, and heroic. Both are able to channel loss and pain into positive action. Both show evidence of immense faith: Leia’s faith in the rebel cause, Luke’s faith in the Force, in his father, etc. I could go on and on about these characters and haven’t even scratched the surface here. Luke and Leia are incredibly inspiring to me.

3. which character are you actually most like?

Hmmmm. In many ways I can be like Han. There are times when I can be jaded or defensive. Sometimes I’m stubborn like Leia. I can be sensitive like Luke. I’m not sure that there’s any one character I’m “most” like though.

4. what headcanon will you defend to the death?

Lol it’s technically not a headcanon and is actually canon but since so many people seem to forget, I’d defend to the death that it’s not Han’s “true nature” to be a criminal or a lowlife who would revert to petty crime, con artistry, or smuggling when the going got rough.

5. what planet would you most like to visit? 

Hmmm... maybe Alderaan pre-destruction? Although for nostalgic purposes Hoth maybe?

6. what planet would you most like to live on?

Naboo maybe?

7. who do you hope you never meet?

As far as characters go? I guess the Emperor lol

8. what is one thing you would change about any movie, show, book, etc?

I would remove Han, Luke, and Leia from the sequels.

9. have you ever made fanart or fanfic? do you make edits or any other fan content?

I write fanfic and I have made edits in the past!

10. do you think the jedi were right or wrong?

I think the Jedi Order were right in their overarching philosophy but wrong in certain practices. I think forbidding Jedi to form personal attachments was wrong and Luke’s triumph in ROTJ proves it.

11. who is the most underrated character?

Honestly, Luke is kind of underrated imo. Lando is also an underrated character.

12. do you care who rey’s parents are?

Sooooo this is kind of a twofold question. I think the narrative structure of the sequel trilogy and the events that take place therein necessitate that Rey be a descent of either Luke or Leia and Han. However, I also don’t consider these films to be canon and don’t factor them into my understanding of Star Wars because I disagree with the messages of those films on a fundamental level, so Rey’s origins are irrelevant to me.

13. if you could resurrect one dead character, or prevent them from dying, who would it be?

Bail or Breha Organa.

14. what is your favorite alien species?

Wookiees

15. who would you like to bang?

Lol. Han Solo.

16. which movie/episode have you watched the most?

ESB

17. what is your favorite line?

“I am a Jedi, like my father before me.”

18. what is your favorite star wars book or comic?

I like the Timothy Zahn books.

19. what’s your opinion on legends/expanded universe?

I consider the old EU to be kind of “take what you like and ignore the rest” since there were a lot of great parts and a lot of bad parts. Overall my love for Star Wars focuses primarily on the original completed six episode saga with emphasis on the OT, but there are some great moments in the old EU.

20. what do you hope will happen in future movies?

N/A

21. if you could switch any character’s gender, who would it be and why?

Oh. I’ve never thought of this before? I guess I’d like to see more women in Star Wars. A female Obi-Wan or female Yoda would be cool, possibly even female Luke!

22. favorite droid?

R2

23. what’s your favorite star wars musical piece or theme?

Binary Sunset. But I also love the throne room theme.

24. how do you pronounce twi’lek?

Oh boy. Tw-eye-leck? Is that wrong???

25. which character do you have a love/hate relationship with?

Anakin.

Thanks for the ask!! :)

[f0point5]

https://www.tumblr.com/f0point5/767683540890550272/in-the-nicest-way-possibleyes-you-do-lando

In this same article he admits to reading the hate comments. This also kinda makes me not feel so sympathetic towards his mental health that people are so concerned about. If this grown ass man's mental health is so fragile, the number one thing he could do is not read hate about himself.

But I think this whole article is bullshit, it sounds a lot like they are trying to push this narrative where he's a victim of unfair criticism and he did nothing wrong and he's the most fair and accountable driver.

I'm trying so hard to not criticise him myself, and am trying to give him grace. But man, is he making it fucking hard day by day. He already knows about himself he's not the most eloquent giving interviews, why does he need to go on and give this one as well?😭 Just shut the fuck up for once

The thing is, I sort of get what he means and I sort don’t. Because the hate comments are complete lunacy. You can read 100 hate comments and 99 of them are just cruel and uncalled for. Maybe one will have some actual reasoning buried in the nastiness. And if you read that, it’s fair to say “I don’t know how people who don’t know me can hate me so much”.

But at the same time, if you’ve read the hate comments, I guarantee you’ve also read the genuine criticism or discussion about the things that you’ve said. The discourse where people actually mention why what you said sounded bad to them. You’re probably not only seeing the vitriol without coming across one actually coherent comment.

And you can take it on board or not, choose to reflect on it or not, whatever. But saying “I have no idea why people don’t like me” and “people hate on me for no reason” really comes across as disingenuous and very wilfully unaware.

I’m not going to speak on his mental health because that’s really between him and his therapist and his friends and family. I don’t know about his mental health. It must be very hard to avoid engaging with what’s being said about you while being 25 and famous. I get that. I personally think that his fans weaponise his mental health but I’m not going to say he’s doing that because I don’t think he considers himself to be as fragile as the rabid fans pretend he is. I think Lando shares his feelings honestly not necessarily with the intentions that parasocials take up for him because they’re deluded.

Again, I think Lando was talking about himself from his own perspective. So it’s not that the article is bs, it’s just Lando from Lando’s point of view. It’s eye opening about how divorced his self image seems from how a lot of people see him.

I feel like he was trying to walk the line of being respectful of people having opinions while also trying to appear like he’s not hurt by it. For me you either have to do a Max and say “I actually do not give a fuck what you think or why” or you have to admit that it’s important to you how people feel about you and you have to actually do the work to represent yourself better. It’s like he doesn’t want to change how he goes about things, but also wants people to receive his actions and comments differently. And that’s not how it works.

I have an unending amount of empathy for how shitty is must feel to read hate about yourself and how heavy of an experience fame is. The way people talk about him is just so mean. He shouldn’t have to read that or deal with it.

But it’s a bit frustrating to hear him talk about it as if it’s come out of thin air.

[anonymouscomrade]

just got back from seeing a Star War and... you know, i don’t think Rise of Skywalker is quite the radioactive tire fire half the internet was making it out to be? like yeah it’s not the most satisfying conclusion one could make to a nine-film series but it wasn’t garbage either

thoughts, etc

“surely this can’t be The REAL Palpatine, it’s gotta be a clone, or an AI, or someone using his name” but nope it’s the actual guy, how the fuck could you possibly have survived Return of the Jedi

on that note, who did Palpatine fuck. i mean it’s been over half my life now since the prequel trilogy but even in those he was a crusty old asshole, right? and also when could he have even gotten his bone on? my head hurts just thinking about it

who’s this cowboy robot--- fuck yeah Lando

Rey healing that giant snake i think is the first time we’ve seen someone using the force as healing magic in the films but that’s like, the first ability you get as a light-side jedi in KotOR so hey

CHEWIE NOOOOOOOOO (yeah it’s the wrong shuttle that got blown up and it turns out he’s fine later but this trilogy killed Han Solo for real in the first one so it was entirely plausible)

you know what, General Hux getting taken out like that is pretty damn satisfying

“the Endor system”? Endor is a fucking moon, they’re not gonna name the whole damn system after it no matter how significant of a battle took place there, and also i hope i don’t have to look at a damn ewok

Endor not being destroyed kinda settles that particular argument about the Death Star’s wreckage falling and annihilating it

okay Dark Rey had a pretty cool lightsaber, not gonna lie

ohhhhhhhhh the thing Finn was gonna tell Rey is that he can feel the force too, wasn’t it

all my fistpumps at Poe looking up and seeing Lando and Chewie in the Millennium Falcon leading the cavalry as the Star Wars theme song hits

hot take: anyone who thought Kylo Ren wasn’t gonna see redemption by the end of the trilogy wasn’t paying attention, and using his and Rey’s weird force connection to pass the lightsaber was cool as hell

yeah the kiss was a bit much but he also died immediately after so whatever. redemption doesn’t necessarily mean living happily ever after, just ask Darth Vader

seeing the sequel trilogy trio meet up at the after-party was cool, i kinda like that there wasn’t any sort of romance between them

“man i wonder how many original trilogy characters they have left to mention? maybe Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru?” >cuts to Rey at the ruins of Luke’s old home on Tatooine “wut”

wait Rey has a new yellow lightsaber, just off-hand? i thought getting a new lightsaber was supposed to be a Big Deal

“Rey who?” “Rey Skywalker” fuck yeah

movie was okay but any questions it answered just raised further questions

[shadowsong26fic]

Because Roommate and I think we’re funny...

...here’s another excerpt from our Epic Crossover RP of DOOM!

For those of you who don’t know, this started life...yeesh, three years ago...anyway, it started life as a Star Wars/Marvel crossover (primarily rooted in MCU, but with a fair amount of comics canon drawn in; and using Precipice for the Star Wars side).

It has been going for, as I said, three years, probably a good 250-300k words long at least, and now includes ten fandoms (though one is mostly in the background and the other has yet to actually appear on page but will fairly soon). It is delightfully cracky and wonderfully self-indulgent, involving a boatload of OCs because Why Not.

This bit is from fairly early on. As a note, neither of us had seen Rebels when we wrote it, which means that some backstories are not necessarily consistent to canon. Also, if this scene seems to end rather abruptly, it’s because it’s about to veer off into Major Spoilers for a future Precipice arc.

And so, without further ado, behind the cut is an excerpt which focuses on certain Avengers meeting Hondo Ohnaka. Enjoy!

   Tony was actually kind of proud of himself that it had only taken about three hours between "my kids are nowhere to be found" and "rescue party assembled and through the portal." Under ordinary circumstances that would have been quite a bit longer than he liked, but he'd been waylaid into believing Emily used "Coruscant" as a code and it took him a couple of hours to realize she was serious. The remaining hour had been been roughly half and half between recruiting helpers and suiting up, and deciphering Addie's handwriting to figure out the coordinates she'd left. But now they were there, ready to go, him and Steve (of course) and Thor (who adored the girls and had since immediately after he met them, it was weird) and Natasha, silent and deadly. Clint and Bruce had agreed to stay behind, stall Fury and Coulson (and Pepper) and take care of anything that popped up in the meantime. So… here they went… he took a deep breath, and launched himself in full armor through the portal.

   They did not land on Coruscant, or in any other city. But they were on what was probably some kind of spaceship--a cluttered, dirty spaceship, with a trio of aliens playing some sort of dice game on a crate.

   Or, that's what they were doing, until Tony and the others came through the portal. Then they jumped up and started shooting.

   Tony didn't feel entirely comfortable repulsoring the shit out of them, so it was probably a good thing that Steve came through next, and took them all out with a single shield throw. Thor actually looked disappointed, which would have been hilarious if he hadn't been so worried about his kids. He picked a random groaning pirate and hoisted him up, shaking him. Where are my kids?"

   "Kids?" the pirate said. "Dunno what the hell you're talking about. We don't got no kids on board." He somehow dragged a holdout blaster from his boot and tried firing it into Tony's abdomen.

   Oh, hey, the armor deflected blasters too. Tony sometimes amazed himself with how good he was. "They're adults," he said. "But they're my kids, so tell me where they are or else."

   "Dunno what the hell you're talking about," the pirate insisted. "We ain't got no hostages on board at all."

   "Well, well, well, what is going on here?" A fourth pirate had joined them, same species, one with dark goggles and a weird sort of monkey-parrot-thing hovering on his shoulder.

   Natasha was behind him. On the off-chance (or, okay, fairly good chance) that he hadn't noticed her, Tony wasn't planning on drawing his attention to her. "My kids came here, they didn't come back, so where the hell are they?" he asked, without dropping the pirate he had. Thor was swinging his hammer and looking sufficiently ominous even without Steve glaring at the guy.

   "Kids?" The pirate tilted his head and tapped his chin. "No, no children here. I haven't kidnapped anyone's children in almost a year, have I? And let me tell you, Hondo Ohnaka is not a man who lies!"

   "Sure," Tony said, then did a double-take. "Wait, the wiseass pirate?"

   Hondo laughed uproariously. "I like you! Come, come, put down my men and I will help you find your children. I am in a generous mood today!"

   "Are you really," Tony said, more than asked, "or are you just angling for a payday? 'Cause don't get me wrong, I'm happy to pay to get my kids back, but I don't think you accept credit cards."

   Behind Hondo, Natasha raised an eyebrow at him.

   Hondo waved a hand. "We can work out all those details later. Right now, there are children in danger, and I have just finished a very profitable deal--very profitable indeed!"

   Tony hesitantly put the pirate down, and glanced at Steve, who was frowning, but when wasn't he when the kids were in danger. "Technically they're not children," he said. Emily, after all, was an adult. "Well, Addie is."

   "Ah, yes, but daughters are always children, are they not?" Hondo said. "Come, come. You say your children came here? How do you know? You're the first stowaways on my ship, unless that crazy horned man got to my men again."

   "No, Hondo," the pirate Tony had dropped said, rubbing his neck and glaring not-so-subtly in Tony's direction. "We learned our lesson."

   "So! No stowaways, until you came here. Only me, my men, and my new business partner."

   Whoever that was. "My kids are geniuses," Tony said. Thor nodded, and boomed out an, "Indeed!" Tony ignored him, and continued, "One of them built a portal generator and left me these coordinates, which means they came here."

   Natasha, from behind Hondo, inquired, "Where is here?"

   "Deep space," Hondo said. "You are very lucky, I think, that I was here to catch you!"

   "No," Tony said, "because I thought of that and I was going to go back and keep them from coming through if there wasn't anything here." Which he totally would have done, if he'd thought of it. And judging from Natasha's expression, she knew it. He didn't dare look at Steve.

   "I see, I see." Hondo frowned. "Well, we will just have to try and find which ships passed through here in the--whenever your daughters passed through. We find the right ship, we find your children, everyone goes home happy. I like this plan!"

   "So do I," Tony said.

   "Me too," Steve said. "What do you get out of?" He pinned Hondo with his all-American-gung-ho-GI-man glare.

   "I don't think I like you as much as your shiny metal friend," Hondo said thoughtfully. He then shook his head, and completely and totally did not answer Steve's question. "Come! I will show you my scanners, we will find your mystery ship!"

   "Yeah, you didn't answer my question," Steve said.

   "You're going to want to answer his question," Natasha said, sweetly. Since she was pants-wettingly terrifying when she was sweet, Tony wasn't sure how Hondo could hold it together.

   His eyes narrowed behind his glasses. "No, no, I didn't." He sighed, then put back on his carefree persona. "Why must you make things so difficult? Very well, fine. What I get out of it all depends on what ship we find, yes? If they're friends of mine, that's one thing, but if they're not my friends, well. That's something different, isn't it?"

   Which made absolutely no sense to Tony, but Steve's eyes narrowed. "We won't kill anyone for you," he said, flatly.

   "Excuse me," Tony said. "If someone is hurting my kids I absolutely will kill them."

   "Well, yeah," Steve said, momentarily distracted, "but, I mean, that's for the girls, not for him. We're not mercenaries."

   "Technically," Tony started.

   "Tony," Natasha said, still sweetly. "Shut up." He shut up.

   "For me, for them, what does it matter?" Hondo shrugged. "Trust me, my not-friends are very unreasonable people. You won't like them, either."

   "Yeah, you don't seem like the kind of person who'd be friends with the Empire," Tony said. "Wait, are they around yet? When is this?"

   "Ah, the Empire." Hondo tutted and shook his head. "Bad for business, bad for business. Except when they're good for business--more profit, but sadly more risk. This is no game for an old man like me. It's why I'm branching out--new deals, new partners. Legal businesses! Or, well, mostly legal, anyway."

   "Oh," Natasha said, and smiled, sharp and unfairly beautiful. "You two should get along wonderfully, then."

   "Hey, fuck you," Tony said, but not very loudly, in case she heard him. "My business has always been legal. Just not, you know, super ethical sometimes."

   Steve coughed. It sounded like "Stane." Tony gave him the evil eye and said, "I said my business."

   Hondo laughed again. "I knew I liked you, shiny metal man! So, are we going to look at my scanners, or not?"

   Tony wondered if he ought to mention that he wasn't actually metal, and decided that wasn't really an illusion he was interested in dispelling. "Sure, let's go."

   He could hear Steve roll his eyes, but at least Cap got it. "Thor, you're behind Tony. Natasha and I will have the rear. If anyone tries anything, hammer them."

   Thor hefted Mjolnir, and grinned a feral Viking grin at the nearest pirate. "I look forward to any hammering."

   Tony choked at that, but managed to keep his voice steady. "Lead on, weird pirate man."

   The pirates glared back at Thor, and Hondo turned and led them through the cluttered, narrow hallways of his ship.

   They made their way to the bridge without anyone trying anything--Mjolnir seemed to be an effective deterrent.

   On the bridge were another couple Weequay pirates, who Hondo nudged out of the way as they headed to a viewscreen, and someone who looked an awful lot like Lando Calrissian.

   Tony pointed at him and yelled something incoherent. Again, he heard Steve roll his eyes, but screw Steve anyway, he'd seen Empire Strikes Back on opening night and it was formative, all right. "You!"

    Lando blinked, and turned to face the group with one eyebrow raised. "Last I checked, yes. I don't think we've met, though. I'm pretty sure I'd remember the four of you." He flashed a particularly wide grin at Natasha. "Lando Calrissian, at your service."

   Natasha smiled back at him, her unnerving, terrifying smile. "Charmed."

   "Steve Rogers," Steve said, and offered his hand, because Steve was like that. "These are my teammates, Natasha Romanava, Thor, and Tony Stark. We're here looking for our daughters."

   Steve and his "no relationships while in uniform" policy. Ah well.

   At first, Lando had seemed only encouraged by Natasha's terrifying smile--then again, he'd been pretty flirty with Leia at her most antagonistic, so that wasn't all that surprising. But that smile slipped when he heard Steve. He shook his hand firmly. "I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?"

   "They were in this part of space sometime recently," Hondo called. "I'm finding the ship they may have landed on for my new friends here."

   "They're smart, they're resourceful, and you shouldn't fuck with either one of them," Tony said, "so I know they're fine, they're just having trouble getting home. So I am here to retrieve them." Or so he was going to continue to tell himself, anyway.

   "As far as we can tell,” Steve continued, "they came here about five hours ago."

   "Good, good," Hondo said. "That will make it easier to find the ship, yes?"

   "Hondo, I've got some time. I'd like to stick around and help, if you don't mind my company a little longer," Lando said.

   "Of course, of course," Hondo said. "Anything for my new friends."

   Steve narrowed his eyes again, although Tony wasn't sure why since he'd seen Empire Strikes Back too. "And… no offense. Mr. Calrissian, but what's in it for you?"

   "I don't like it when people hurt kids," he said quietly.

   "Okay," Tony said, "I'm just gonna reiterate that Emily's not a kid. I mean, she's my baby, she'll always be my baby, but she's twenty-five and she can kick you in the face from a standing start."

   "I taught her that," Natasha said, rather smugly. "She could also break a man's neck with her thighs. At least theoretically."

   "See?" Tony gestured at Natasha. "See? Also, Addie will just fuck you up."

   Thor nodded, solemnly. "Indeed, the Miss Starks are intimidating."

   "Still," Lando said. "At least one kid is in danger, even if she can hit back. I may be a lot of things, but I'm not a monster. That satisfy you, Rogers?"

   Thor straightened up to his considerable height and glared. "Captain Rogers," he said, "is worthy of being addressed by his title."

   Tony was ninety, ninety-five percent sure that Thor was just fucking with Lando, but he wasn't completely sure, so he was glad when Steve said, "It's fine. And sure, why not."

   "Sorry about that," Lando said, with an apologetic shrug. "I would've used it if I'd known it. Any luck, Hondo?"

   "Three ships came by around the right time," the pirate said. "One at about six hours, one at five, and one at four and a half."

   Thor settled down into a glare, but… no, the corner of his mouth was twitching a little. Yeah, he was fucking with the guy. Anyway, Tony had other things to worry about.

   "What kind of ships?" Tony asked, walking over to the scanners. He didn't know what he was looking at but he could guess. "Who do they belong to?"

   "Well, this first one--they are not my friends. Star Destroyer. The...Chimaera, I think."

   Tony frowned. He knew that name… right, Zahn. "When is this again?" he asked. "What's blown up most recently?"

   "I love that you track timelines through explosions," Steve murmured. Disturbingly, he sounded sincere, but Steve had weird taste in men, obviously.

   "There was a big one out near Yavin earlier," Hondo said. "I don't know what it is yet, I'm hoping my friends will tell me. This second one here--ah, false ID. It may take us some time to identify."

   "I'll work on that," Lando said. "I can at least figure out who made the fake transponder for you."

   The big one near Yavin was probably the Death Star, which meant the Emperor was still around, which meant it probably wasn't Grand Admiral Thrawn or Captain Pellaeon, which meant Tony really hoped his girls weren't on the Star Destroyer. "What kind of ship?" he asked.

   "Midsized freighter," Lando answered. "Looks like it's--"

   "Aha!" Hondo said, jabbing a finger at the third ship. "I know that ship! That is the Waterfall! They are my friends! Or, well, my friend's brother, who is almost my friend."

   Tony snorted. Steve choked. Thor looked vaguely hunted, and even Natasha looked vaguely amused. "Emphasis on almost," he said. "Who's your friend?"

   "Why, Kenobi, of course. I should call him, we haven't spoken in months--"

   "He's been trying to call you for an hour, Captain," one of the other Weequay said. "Our comms haven't been working too well since--"

   "Yes, yes, fine," he said, waving his hand in annoyance.

   "Uh," Tony said, because if Kenobi was who he thought he was… "Maybe you better call him back." Because he was like, 95% sure that Kenobi had died on the Death Star earlier.

   Judging from Steve's expression he'd just figured that out too. Thor just looked blank— Tony made a mental note to pick Star Wars for the next movie night— and Natasha kept her poker face as per usual.

   "He's hailing us again, Captain," the same Weequay said.

   "Kenobi has always had the best timing," Hondo said, and wandered over to the comm system. He pushed a few buttons and a grainy, wavery hologram of a bearded man appeared. He could very well have been Obi-Wan, but it was low-quality and hard to tell. "Kenobi, my friend! It has been too long."

   "Hond--I need--headed to--" There was some kind of interference or bad connection, but that was definitely Obi-Wan Kenobi's voice.

   "Huh," Tony said, intelligently.

   "Huh," Steve agreed, making Tony feel better about himself.

   "Kenobi, Kenobi, I can't hear you," Hondo said, gesturing dramatically at his ears. "Call me later." He hung up. "Anyway. If Kenobi and Skywalker picked up your girls, they're fine. I know those two almost as well as I know my men. The adventures we've had! Twenty years and more of them!"

   Tony stared at him for a moment before he remembered that the faceplate was down and thus it wasn't having the effect he wanted. "So… you didn't ask him if he had my girls because...."

   "I couldn't hear him anyway," Hondo said. "But he said 'need' and 'headed to,' so I think he needs a favor from Hondo, and is coming here. These conversations are much better face to face, yes?"

   "No," Tony said, "they're better when I know if my kids are okay," but there wasn't much he could do about it now. Not yet, anyway. "When's he going to get here?"

   "Hmmm, well..." Hondo glanced at the pirate manning the comm station.

   "Signal didn't come from far," she said. "Looks like he just dropped out of hyperspace. Should be here in a half-hour or so, on the outside. Depending on which ship he borrowed."

   "Fine," Tony said, and because he was a scientist and an impatient bastard, started a clock running inside his HUD because why not. "Half an hour."

   "In the meantime," Natasha said, "may I suggest contingency plans? How might one take down a Star Destroyer, for example?"

   Somehow Tony suspected she wasn't asking out of idle curiosity. It was something to do with the glee on her face.

   "I have never tried," Hondo admitted. "Shame, such a shame. But you can ask Kenobi when he gets here! He's done such things."

   "Are you taking it out from the outside or from inside?" Lando asked absently, still working on the fake ID for the third ship.

   "Either," Natasha said, and moved over to him. "Explain."

   Tony would have been intimidated by her looming, but then, Lando hadn't seen what she could do. Yet. He did anticipate Natasha beating up someone, if only because she was bored and hadn't been able to.

   "From outside, depends on what kind of firepower you're packing, and whether or not you're alone," Lando said. "From inside..." He looked over at her, and quirked a smile. "I'm guessing you're used to infiltration tactics. So, I'd get the specs and then sneak on board in a stolen uniform--you're too short to pass as a stormtrooper, but if you get a low-level army or navy officer uniform, you could probably bluff your way into the engine room and disable the hyperdrive. You'd probably only get to one vital system before you got caught, and that's where you'd want to start. That or the shields, but there are fewer redundancies on the hyperdrive. You'd still need someone on the outside to finish the job, and probably an extraction team, but you could do it. Corporal or something similar would probably be best for your cover. High enough that no one bothers you, low enough that people don't actually look to you for commands."

   Natasha thought about it for a moment. "Clint and I could do it in an hour," she said, after a minute. "Less if we had a lightsaber or repulsors, more if we were working with just his arrows and my knives."

   "A whole hour?" Tony asked, not quite joking. "You're slipping."

   "It's an unfamiliar ship," Natasha said, serenely.

   "Plus, those things are big," Lando said. "And your best infiltration points aren't all that close to the engine room, because the Empire's stupid about some things, but that ain't one of them. And if the rumors about the Super Star Destroyers they're building are true, those'll be even harder."

   "God<i>damn</i> I want one of those," Tony said.

   "No," Steve said, without looking around. He'd been taking lessons from Pepper, clearly.

   "All right," Lando said. "I know the guy who made this ID. He works all over the map, but given they were meeting up with the Waterfall, I'm guessing they're Alliance. Either that, or Skywalker's got an underworld contact that isn't you," he added, nodding to Hondo.

   The pirate looked scandalized. "Such a betrayal! I would never think it of him! But, then again, it is good business. On the other hand, Skywalker has never had a good business sense..."

   "Skywalker?" Steve asked, frowning. "Wait a minute..."

   "No," Tony interrupted, quickly. "I don't care. I don't care yet. Let's find the girls first and then we can care, okay?"

   "Okay," Steve said, "but I will care."

   "Fine," Tony said, waving a hand. "We can absolutely care then."

   Lando shrugged, and turned back to the third ship. "I'll keep working on this, see if I can confirm it's Alliance or not."

   "And if it is, we can make a deal with them!" Hondo said. "I like making deals with the Alliance. Nice people. Not much money, though."

   "Money I got," Tony said. "Money is not really a problem here."

   "Well," Steve said, thoughtfully, but he cut himself off almost immediately. "Hey, what's that?" He gestured at the scopes.

   "Looks like an X-wing," Lando said.

   "Might be Kenobi," Hondo added. "Is he hailing us again?"

   "Trying to, Captain," the pirate monitoring the comms said. "It's all choppy, though."

   Did Obi-Wan Kenobi fly an X-wing? Tony honestly couldn't remember because at that point in the movie he'd been yelling about the problems of fires in space until Emily kicked him in the ankle. "What's wrong with the comms?"

   "Oh, they keep breaking, ever since that mess last year on Ordo Plutonia," Hondo said, waving a hand.

   Gah, it was driving him nuts. Tony got down on his knees and peered under the console for a minute, before he held a hand out and said, "Screwdriver. Did anyone look at this? The wiring's all fucked up and crossways but I can fix it." Something else to think about beside his children, missing… yeah, okay, wiring.

   "Better do it," Steve advised Hondo. "He'll just tear it apart otherwise."

   Hondo paused for a second. "Well, all right then." He clapped his hands twice. "Come, come, get the shiny metal man a screwdriver!"

   One of the pirates complied, dropping one into Tony's outstretched hand.

   "Thanks," Tony said absently, already poking around the wiring. Oh, yeah, some of them were just cross-plugged. It looked like… "Did this get thrown around or something? Because it looks like somebody just plugged these back in any which way."

   "Uh, more or less?" Hondo said. "Why, did we do it wrong?"

   "Way wrong," Tony said. It might have come out really muffled, he wasn't sure. "It's like you screwed up the whole AC/DC circuit except that's not what's going on at all."

   He barely heard Steve tell Hondo, "He's like this. Just nod and smile."

   "Ah, I'm good at that!" Hondo said, then laughed again.

   "X-wing transponder matches Alliance codes," the pirate on comms said. "Odds are good it's Kenobi. Should I let him land, boss?"

   "Yes, yes," Hondo said. "Let him come!"

   Tony tweaked a couple of wires, swapped another pair, screwed one loose nut back into place and then came out again. "Okay, try it now, should be good." He absently stuck the screwdriver in his gauntlet sleeve.

   Hondo pushed a couple of buttons, and a much-clearer hologram appeared. It was definitely Obi-Wan Kenobi--but he looked younger than he should have, if the Death Star just blew, by at least a decade. "Hondo. I'm just coming into your docking bay. Shall we hold off until I can see you face-to-face?"

   Interesting, Tony thought, staring at the hologram. Amazing what twenty years of not being on a desert planet would do to a man.

   "Yes, yes," Hondo said. "I was just making sure the shiny metal man fixed my comms. I will see you soon!"

   "...Hondo--"

   He flipped a switch, cutting the connection.

   "Am I going to be shiny metal man forever?" Tony asked. "I ask purely out of curiosity, since I do have a name and you can use it, weird pirate man."

   "You are as soon as I tell Clint about it," Natasha said, sounding annoyingly pleased. Tony flipped her off and then hid behind Steve.

   "Well, you are a shiny metal man," Hondo said. "And I am a weird pirate man, too!"

   "So everyone is pleased!" boomed Thor. Tony jumped, having either forgotten that Thor was there or lost track of him or SOMETHING. "This is excellent! You may call me mighty lightning man."

   "Mighty lightning man?" Hondo asked. "Why are you the mighty lightning man, eh?"

   Thor grinned, and raised Mjolnir, but then apparently thought better of it before anyone said anything. "Alas, I cannot demonstrate in here."

   "He'd fry us all," Tony said. "Well. You all. I'm grounded."

   Steve choked at that, and then said, "No you're not."

   Tony flipped him off too.

   Hondo looked almost as disappointed as Thor did. "Some other time, then, yes?"

   "When we are not surrounded by metal," Thor said, and bowed. "It would be my pleasure, Weird Pirate Man."

   Tony could hear the capitals.

   "I look forward to it, Mighty Lightning Man," Hondo said, with an extravagant bow of his own. His monkey-parrot thing chittered and danced a little bit on his shoulder.

   "Oh, my God," Tony said, to no one in particular. "Thor's made a friend."