#i don’t like assuming and thinking the worst of ppl but i cant help get this impression from them

[graevs666]

loveeee when ppl ask me how i am then patch me lmao like so u don’t acc care then ?? just don’t ask me if all u want was me to follow ur script

[youremyheaven]

I MISSED YOU TOO <3333

ive never done any substances (never plan to. i don’t even want to touch cigarettes or alcohol because of past abuse with people who had a bad relationship with such things which was taken out on me instead) BUT one thing about depression that i cant find anyone talking about it how disoriented i am??

im alone these days so i blank at times just sitting on the floor and suddenly its 3 hours later, or i keep sleeping at 4-5am because ive had consecutive nightmares (even during naptimes) and so my sense of time is really really messed up

i still think its the start of september and the worst part is that im not even doing anything, im just blank, but sometimes im sobbing, sometimes im just tired but unable to sleep yk? youre so relatable about the cloudy part too because i still feel like im just in a daze

my last 1h year was actually horrid though. i never thought anyone else experienced it that way but mine was ☺️☺️ not the best. probably the worst year of my life LOLLL

I DID ASSUME YOU WERE A 12HOUSER but i always did just assume that you would have some significant pisces energy somewhere because of general vibes + the life experiences you talked about

the way i’m a 6th houser but im so stuck in spirituality all the time 😭😭 ive been disoriented this entire month but its also bc ive been doing spiritual stuff that kinda results in the detatchment from this 3D body yk? so when i snap back here its just off and weird but its so cool that we are kinda mirroring each other

AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE your analogy about emptiness meaning more space to grow like YES youre so right— i may tjink i have nothing coming up or building up for me rn but that just means more space to create new things i like right?? such a clever and cute way to think about things

- mother anon (an angel that is in the process of sewing on new wings)

"ive never done any substances (never plan to. i don’t even want to touch cigarettes or alcohol because of past abuse with people who had a bad relationship with such things which was taken out on me instead) BUT one thing about depression that i cant find anyone talking about it how disoriented i am??"

GIRLL. first of all, im proud of u for having such a strong stance against substances and i hope it stays that way<3

i was dissociating pretty heavily the last few months and the brain fog took over me completely so i feel u on the disoriented bit. depression manifests differently in different individuals. being angry, taking it out on others, being easily irritable, being unable to enjoy yourself, having no motivation to get anything done etc are all symptoms. ppl always have a black & white image of someone crying all day and while that can be a part of it. depression is a range of behaviours and long term depression often makes it very disorienting to process events and time. you feel disconnected. literally.

"im alone these days so i blank at times just sitting on the floor and suddenly its 3 hours later, or i keep sleeping at 4-5am because ive had consecutive nightmares (even during naptimes) and so my sense of time is really really messed up"

living alone is REALLYYY hard if you're depressed. whatever you just said describes me under the influence of substances. i hope you can spend time with a community bc the key to tackling depression is just getting out of that funk into a new routine that allows you to constructively spend your time and give you a daily sense of purpose.

im sorry u had a bad 1h year :((( i hope it was character defining at least and helped u learn and grow!! we mould ourselves into our highest versions thru our difficulties <3

mother knows best!!! u detected the 12h vibes and u were RIGHT!!

lmaoooo u getting spiritual and detaching from reality and me getting baked out of my mind and detaching from reality is soooo funny!!! at least we both let go!! imagine being attached 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤢EWW lol

im glad u like it!! im empty but i have soooo much room in my heart for all the blessings yet to come!! <33 and SO DO U MAMA <333

may u sew dem wings on and reach places u never could have before!!! u are soooo loved and u will get soooo much better, just hang in there!!! we're all with u<33

love always,

heaven

[pokeheros-drama]

"not everyone realizes their mistakes no matter how much growth, maturity, and years in between if they're being cheered along for every bad decision they make."

i can see this but i feel like its rarer and most people do. but im not saying cheer them along. but yeah, whether or not you cheer them along i agree some people you just cant help.

sorry after reading these replies, im thinking i really worded this horribly. "it's not going to make them stop doing the wrong thing, and i thought the goal here was to help them? and if thats not ur goal, still how is it helping for you to block them?" yeah i think what came of most wrong here was the "still" and instead of "i thought" i should say "for me" 

let me reword this: it's not going to make them stop doing the wrong thing, and for me the goal here was to help them. for ur goal, how is it helping for you to block them?

mb i was really tired when i wrote that and i wrote it really aggressively and like everyone should only have a goal of helping them, but no i support other goals you guys arent inclined to help some random kid.

"at the end of the day you need learn to respect their choice and right to block ppl that they do not like."

i realized i came off wrong, hopefully what i said above fixes this. i got from reading this, that you wanted to not associate with them, and blocking them meets this goal. thats kinda what i mean to ask.

"the block button is free anon, sometimes even with advicing them against it, theyll still think their actions are right."

yeah! again the goal i got from this is not wanting to associate with someone who may think using ai to make art is okay. me personally, blocking them wouldnt do anything for me unless they're posting feeds about their ai art. i agree ai art is wrong but id still give them a chance and if i see them continue to use ai and show it off then its a block for me too.

"You must live a pretty nice life"

okay i hope what i said above fixes your thoughts that i never block people. but here's what i have to say for you: please don't make assumptions about other people's lives. usually when people say things like this, i dont feel the need to share but i will this time since its online and i hope you can learn from this. when i was 11, someone told me "my life must be perfect" because i offered to help them with something. well the night before my mom threatened my dad with a knife and honestly ive been through a lot worst since. but having someone tell me "my life must be perfect" the next morning was really the cherry on top. and i didnt even say anything, because im the kind of person who hides all my emotions and tries to forgot about them. ive got a lot of friends, but i dont think i ever really had that friend who i trusted enough to tell my real problems to. i try to act happy on the outside no matter how upset i am, so most people do assume my life is perfect irl. but its not, and everytime someone tells me this it does gets to me. everyone doesnt know what you're going through, and that's fine. but it doesnt give them the right to make assumptions. so for someone who barely knows me, except for a few things i said online, please dont make assumptions.

sorry for super long post again

[harry-sussex]

1 I don’t think you must have loved harry as much as you say you do if you’d rather have him keep quiet and go back to a place where he has now directly told the public he was unhappy in and where it was some of the worst years of his life. He BEEN saying it and you just don’t want to listen because you’re attached to this image of the brf you have in ur head lol. It’s not a perfect family and they used harry as a scapegoat since he was born. Due to his good nature and to the fact that he’s

2 the good guy we know him to be he tried to stay and make it work but when his family backstabbed him and his new wife he’s more than entitled to walk away. Like seriously. And realize what kind of person William is please because it’s getting weird. Harry doesnt have to do anything for William and Kate specially since they are grown adults who benefited and instigated some of the hate against meghan.

3 I’m glad harry is safe and happy now and I don’t get how you can talk about him like this now just because he’s bursting your fairytale ideas? But ur a fan? Alright sure. This is a real family and not a family out of a storybook. If you like him only when hes playing jester in that palace but cant like and respect him now for healing himself and correcting all the lies those ppl told about him then simply drop henry if he no longer fits into the delusions. I am proud of him.

I’m not entirely sure how you could possibly suggest that I didn’t love Harry as much as I thought I did (still do). I mean, I got on a plane by myself and flew 3,500 miles one way to go to his wedding. Bet you’re new around here so you didn’t know that, though. I’m proud of him for doing what’s right for him - even if I hate what it came to, which I did, do, and will forever. I can be proud and also criticize the way he went about it, the way he continues to go about it. You should be able to do the same.

I look at Harry from a nuanced and complicated point of view. He is no saint. He is not above being wrong. Not entirely sure how you could come here, believe every tabloid ever written about William, Kate, Charles, HM, etc. and simultaneously say that he’s been used as a scapegoat, that he’s been backstabbed, that he spent his whole life playing jester in a palace - tabloid fodder in and of itself. You either believe it all or you don’t. The tabloids are the tabloids and if you’re going to assume that they’re all incorrect attacks on your fave then you have to assume that they’re all incorrect attacks on your least fave. You have to believe that Harry’s escaped the tower while believing that William desperately tried to help and protect his only brother and bring Meghan into the family. You have to believe that Harry has insulted/disrespected the Queen and abandoned Sentebale and the children he vowed to support forever and was jealous of his nephews and niece and also believe that William cheated on Kate with Rose, that he’s the kind of person you think he is. You have to believe either that Harry is the person you think he is and William is not or believe that Harry is not the person you think he is and William is. The tabloids you yourself are quoting in this message are your only source - you can’t deem them credible and false in the same breath. You can’t pick which tabloid fodder to believe based on whether or not it makes your fave look good. It’s all the same bullshit across the board, and you have to realize that. Otherwise, you kind of sound like an idiot, which is what’s going on in this message.

You say that I see him as a caricature, that I see him as a pawn in a game that I thought I controlled, that I do not believe he is a human being with thoughts and feelings and perception and nuance. And yet here you are, putting him on a pedestal that no real human being deserves, because real people are flawed and wonderful and cruel and kind and everything in between - Harry included. I see him as a person - same as you and me, even with the title and the money and the influence and the power. I see him as best as I can for what he is, flawed and wonderful and cruel and kind. You’re the one that views him as a caricature, one-dimensional and infallible and blameless, the same way that you see William and Kate as caricatures, one-dimensional and ruthless and unredeemable.

My words - especially my criticisms - prove that I see him - and the rest of them - as complicated, multi-faced and multi-dimensional, who are neither fully perfect nor fully imperfect, who have pros and cons to their person the way that you and I do. Being able to recognize that he is flawed, multi-dimensional, a real human being is the best and only way to prove that you care about him, that you want him to be happy and safe and comfortable in his life, whatever it looks like. Putting Harry on this infallible pedestal and tossing the rest of them to the side, like he’s a damsel in distress, Cinderella-type tortured hero taking his life back while the rest of the family are Cruella de Ville, the evil stepmother is turning the very real lives of Prince Harry and the British Royal Family into nothing but a sitcom, a cartoon, a Disney movie. Nothing but a story for children. Nothing but a set of characters. This point of view does him a disservice. He deserves better from his fans, his admirers, from you. He is a human being, and he deserves better.

He’s no damsel in distress and the family is no evil trap keeping him hostage until his knight in shining armor broke him free. That rhetoric pigeonholes them all into caricatures. You can’t do that and then accuse me of doing so while I’ve been doing the opposite and have since the very first day I posted on this blog more than seven years ago. You’re not making any sense - every word of the message you just sent me is a contradiction in and of itself. Like I said earlier, doing so makes you sound like an idiot.

[normal-thoughts-official]

Okay. This might be a weird question to ask but I want to ask it anyways. Where do you think the line is between becoming educated on a topic, and letting yourself see what is happening in an area and region and it becoming trauma porn

Because I find it very difficult to retweet or reblog videos of people (in this case Palestinians, but also often black people) being brutalised, in the worst moments of their life. It feels so trivialising to me, but at the same time I acknowledge that helping it to go viral is the most effective way to bring attention to a situation.

I don't know if there's an answer to this. I acknowledge how this can do so much good for a cause, and that a lot of people need to see it with their own eyes in order to believe it. But it also is so desensitising, and dehumanising, for the victims. I don't know. You don't need to respond to this if you don't feel comfortable, stay safe ❤️❤️

ok, so i'll begin this by saying that i'm not the most qualified person to answer this. i do not study media and the impact of that kind of image on ppl, and i am not palestinian, plus i have a lot of racial privilege in my country. i can't pretend that i understand that situation

BECAUSE of that, and i assume ur situation is similar, my rule is to go by the ppl's wishes

in general, i don't like sharing this stuff, because i feel like it only re-traumatizes ppl affected and builds resistance in privileged ppl - they become desensitized. also, u dont know how dead ppl would feel about their bodies being shown like that. i feel like it is ineffective and also contributes to ppl joining the discussion without understanding the issue - which makes them easily manipulable, which always benefits the oppressor. ALWAYS

however, with gaza right now, we have the very victims filming and sharing the videos we are seeing pop around. they are ASKING us to share, especially now that israel has bombed the media tower. some of them are downright begging. it seems to be most palestinians' desire that these videos go around, so they can feel like their voice is heard and their death might not be in vain. so i'm not going to tell them that their wish to have their truth shared is problematic or trauma porn

i havent been sharing those, as u might have noticed. i cant stand to even watch them and i dont feel comfortable sharing, personally (this is not me being absent in the conversation, and dont use that as an excuse to be. there are other things u can do to help, its not sharing videos or doing nothing). but i dont disencourage anyone to, as long as they have been sent and uploaded by palestinians themselves asking that the videos are shared. and for the love of god, tag it everything u can possibly think of. ur wish to help palestinians should come before anything else, and ppl who dont want to be triggered should be in a safe space, or as safe as possible given the circumstances

BUT THAT IS ONLY BECAUSE PALESTINIANS ARE ASKING US TO. black ppl have repeatedly and consistently asked us NOT to do that with images of black ppl brutalized by police. it is triggering, it is horrific, it is ineffective and it is NOT the strategy they are going with, because the circumstances are dramatically different. and as a rule, that's what most ppl will tell you. the situation in palestine rn is very dire and particular, and shouldn't be universalized

also, i'd say, if you choose to share the videos, PLEASE DON'T STOP THERE. again, creating a highly emotional atmosphere benefits the oppressor. get educated and share resources and other information on palestine and the palestinian genocide. and uplift as many palestinian voices as u can

[holycalf]

i started watching sku bc of your blog (and i really enjoy it!) but i dont get why you seem to like shiori but not ruka....i mean it seems like his intentions were a lot better than hers ever were tbfh am i missing something? not saying he went about things GREAT but....at least he actually seemed to care. shiori was just a bitch for the sake of being a bitch it seemed like...

hi! im glad ure enjoying it! it can definitely be a lot at times, and i think the first 12 eps can rub ppl the wrong way so props to u for getting thru those (even tho i liked em :) ) this is gonna be long so if u feel like reading an essay feel free to read under the cut

um.. i dont really know where to begin tbh? i mean you cant really talk about any of these characters without talking abt the other two so.... this is gonna be long.

so lets take shiori, who has a very classic case of internalized homophobia. which is confirmed by ikuhahras outtake on ep. 17 which states the following

 “I finally realized the truth. To think that she loved me back! What a miracle! But...‘The loser in love is the one who lets their heart be ruled by it.’Everyone's adopted a provocative attitude toward someone of the opposite sex that they like at least once or twice, to get that person to notice them. So it's okay if I do that.This love will crumble if we touch. But when people don't touch, the love eventually dies away .That's why I decided to keep your love prisoner. To make sure that you love me forever. That game will make our love ‘eternal.’ I'm sure of it.We were ‘lovers lost from the beginning.”

so shioris in love with juri. im not sure if thats something u caught onto or not but its definitely the quintessence of her character, and needs to be considered when we consider her against ruka- since its a shared affection. also, i just like shiori, i dont necessarily think shes GOOD i just enjoy watching her and she feels very raw. shiori has a crippling inferiority complex, you can even tell through off handed conversations with her friends in hallways she exaggerates her stories to be more liked. juri is someone who has things come easy to her, and doesnt even really seem to care or notice. in the shows canon shes: liked by the student body, liked by teachers, admired by men (and girls too), academically inclined, good at bowling, captain of fencing club (and likely the most talented duelist- since shes the only one utena never properly beats) and a MODEL?????????? and shiori, at least in her own eyes, is painfully mundane. growing up next to someone who seems to have everything go in their favor, all of the while youre harboring having feelings for them (and jealous that youre among SO many suitors) is so frustrating! especially when you dont believe to have any at all. the elevator sequence when she discovers juris locket is a bit of a power trip for shiori, and also just a sort of confusion. shioris “why do you look at me like that?!” when she considers juri mid breakdown is a clear reflection of her own confusion, she may as well be saying “how could you possibly love me?”...but that was the black rose arc which all got undone anyways- so by the time we see shiori ruka arc she doesnt even know juris got the hots for her. when she first sees ruka, shes staring at juri first and only zeroes in on ruka once she hears people talking abt him. she takes ruka the same way she did that boy in middle school because he seems to be something coveted by the girls around her, its a very closeted gay girl move to decide to go for a boy just because other girls are into him... and it definitely helps that hes in such close contact w juri...he could easily be the one stored in that locket of hers, so why not take him? 

so then we have ruka, who the entire time we watch him is smug, condescending, and genuinely one of the most unpleasant characters on the show. by the end we learn hes in love with juri, so maybe this persona was embellished to push her towards revolution to “free her from shiori” or whatever but.... sorry i dont care LOL! the way he treated shiori ALONE was enough for me to dislike him, there was NO need to tear apart and embarrass the girl like that. he took clear advantage of her crush on juri. his locker is seen right next to juris, and shiori is pressed up against one of the two lockers, but we arent shown which,  “after all, that wasnt my sword,”....he knows shiori has been going to juris locker (and potentially polishing her sword but who knows. all we know is that she goes to juris locker.) and it is later revealed hes extra certain of her feelings because upon publically dumping her (another dick move) we hear her kinda stutter “I love you more than.... I love you more than anyone else” shes clearly beating around a bush because theyre in public, hes pinpointed she and juri are both into eachother, and instead of being a normal ass guy about it and just SETTING THEM UP and telling them to work their stuff out he chooses to, “out of love”  assault juri, emotionally manipulates the girl juri is in love with,  then inadvertantly cause juris locket to break which upsets her so deeply she forfeits her duel with utena. and upon that locket breaking he has the AUDACITY to think hes somehow freed her from something... when the girl is breaking down crying in the rain (the first and only time we ever see juri cry...even if its implied she does it in the shower that one time lol).......then just???dies??? like all he does in his time on the show is cause problems and die, all because he couldnt get over his feelings for a lesbian.... it just feels SO gross to me that he hides his assault and general abuse (can we talk abt how he likely took shioris virginity, JUST to break her down???) behind some icky hero complex

PLUS we see shiori at the end of that episode realize shes in that locket while juri is dueling, and we see her run up to juri at the end of the ep and it doesnt look malicious, it feels very...resolutiony? esp when you put it next to the miki/kozue closing scene of their car arc duel, which is explicitly bad terms, this feels more hopefully....suggesting some part of shiori has at least changed. ruka never got that luxury, he completely exploited two girls in order to add dramatic flare to his last few days and felt valid in doing so..... shiori never seemed to think her actions were JUSTIFIED.....which is sort of the point of the black rose arc where shiori is arguably at her worst........... the very ugliest part of ppl are brought out in those elevator sessions so thats what we see of shiori? 

sorry for the essay!! but i hope this helps and make sense :-) feel free to ask any more questions u have abt the show, and i hope u continue enjoying it! im assuming ure still watching it, i dont know how far u are but if u JUST finished 29 then that means ure getting to some of my fave episodes! (33,37,39 :) ) 

tl,dr: shiori never assaulted anyone

[whirlybirdwhat]

AU where Morgan reign of terror traumatizes Coby and he leaves with Luffy and Zoro instead of becoming a marine.

ANON I LOVE YOU YOU HAVE INSPIRED ME!!!! I don’t know how to make this a comprehensive story yet so have some headcanons about 

~~REVOLUTIONARY COBY!!!~~~

Coby is disgusted by way marines are run

He has a “THIS ISNT JUSTICE” Revelation like in Marineford, but on a smaller scale. He sees how thin Zoro is, from being starved and crucified for saving a young, and how happy the people are now that Axe Hand is gone and is like - this isn’t the justice I wanted.

“I want to catch criminals, not harm innocent people.”

Coby starts thinking about his new companions and thinks Luffy’s rough and luffs feral, but he hasn’t hurt anyone. Axe Hand Morgan and his son have.

So Coby follows Luffy and Zoro into the great unknown.

He’s not entirely sure he wants to be a pirate however. Unlike everyone else he does have a moral compass.

“I don’t think I want to be a pirate.” He says after watching Zoro keep calling Luffy Captain.

 “Then be a bounty hunter? Go after whomever you want” – Zoro, who does not give a shit about Coby’s internal crisis, but wants to support him.

⁃Coby: “Huh. Okay”

⁃Cue nights where cobys just thinking about his future as he drifts in the waves with Zoro and Luffy being dumb idiots together and just heading for their dreams

HE doesn’t know if he wants to be a bounty hunter, because how can he tell which bounties are for genuine crimes and which are for people the government wants to kill?

Potential other au lmao coby becomes a bounty hunter

⁃At orange town, he panics at Buggy and hides - he doesn’t know how to fight, but he does get the key from chouchou the dog. He’s helping, in his own way.

⁃Zoro sees this and is like “NO. You need to learn how to fight cmon we’ll teach you.” Like Luffy, he has an aversion to people who cant stand up for themselves, but he likes Coby so he’s gonna help.

⁃So Zoro and Luffy tag team each other and teach coby how to fight. He learns a weird mix of swordsman ship and punching that really don’t go together, but its better than what he had.  

⁃In the meantime, Coby keeps on seeing all the places the marines dont reach and keeps losing his faith in the system. He starts wondering why the Marines are hailed as this awesome force when really a lot of the times they just abuse their power or do nothing to help people.

⁃At Syrup, he helps get Kaya to safety with Usopp, still unwilling to fight, but starting to regain his resolve to do something – to reclaim a dream thought lost.

⁃Coby’s disgusted at the Fullbuster guy on the Baratie and punches him. 

⁃“YOUR FIRST CRIME!” Luffy says, cheerfully. The chefs applaud. Go Coby.

⁃Now, Coby isn’t advancing as fast in training, because one, luffy and zoro (and Sanji, eventually) aren’t Garp, and two, he doesn’t have that drive anymore. Why does he want to be a Marine who punishes justice?

⁃But when Arlong shows up Coby figures out his new dream. He knows what he is going to do.

⁃“I’m gonna take down the Marines - they can’t be this corrupt forever, and how many people are just innocent people? I want to give the world justice again!”

Luffy doesn’t really care about anybody else, innocent or not, unless his crew cares, but Coby cares. He’s not a pirate, but maybe if the law isn’t right, being free to do as he wish shouldn’t incriminate him?

⁃THEN the Strawhats run into Vivi and Chopper and suddenly there are more caring people like him, and more evidence that the system is corrupt which he already knows but how can he change it. He’s able to fight off some men now, and helps fight off some of Wapols men and the Whiskey Peak people, but that isn’t enough.

⁃All his friends have goals that seem impossible but they are so sure they alone are going to reach it, even without the crew there. Coby doesn’t feel like he can do the same.

⁃But hen theres alabasta - He’s stronger now, can through a punch, hes more lean with more muscle. He helps fight, and maybe it doesn’t do much, maybe the man (Luffy) who opened his eyes to the world is still there bleeding out, but he did something.

⁃And Ace and Robin have a hint for him, for his dream.

⁃(Who is this, Ace asks, referring to Coby. He has no role on the ship, but Luffy is proud to call him my friend, and say he wants to change the world for the better. To bring back what Justice really is. Ace cringes at the thoughhht of Garp but hums, and says theres a group of people who will do that – The Revolutionaries. Look for them, Ace says, and leaves. They will help you)

⁃(Robin, who knows all, tells him about Dragon unknown in the East Blue, his home, buth the most wanted man elsewhere. He has a plan, to take down the World Government, and perhaps Coby can find equal footing.)

⁃The Revolutionaries -  Dragon, Luffy’s father.

⁃Coby has a goal now.

⁃He doesn’t want to say goodbye to the Strawhats, but he does, taking a boat lent to him by Vivi, and setting off to find the Revolutionaries. Pirates don’t care about fair fights and Justice, but Coby does, and the Revolutionaries do. His dream will grow there, but he will always be an honorary crew member of the Straw Hat Pirates (the first in some stories).

⁃At sea he runs into Helmeppo, whose drifting at sea stranded due to the marines, and helps him. They bond, and Helmeppo has done a little growth in character as well, and decides to follow Coby, much like Coby decided to follow Luffy.

⁃They run into Garp who is losing faith in the new generation and believes that maybe his son is right, gives them a few fists of training after asking about his grandson, and goes on his way.

⁃They save a town or two

⁃Coby punches several people in the face.

⁃Still no sign of the revolutionaries, but they have heard things from the grape vine that a pirate ship has fallen out of the sky into a navy base. Coby assumes at least Luffy is doing fine.

⁃Finally they run into - guess who – Sabo, on a information recovery mission, which Coby helps with. He questions them at first and learns their story.

⁃And knocks himself the fuck out when Coby says “Ace” “Luffy” and “Brothers”

⁃“OH SHIT THEY ARE GOING TO KILL ME” - sabo,after waking up, to a confused Coby and then profusely thanking him.

⁃Sabo agrees to let Coby and helmeppo into the Revolutionaries and trains them (wow Coby’s been trained by a lot of ppl at this point) if Coby helps him find Luffy and Ace.

⁃CUE WILD GOOSE CHASE WHICH ENTAILS COBY BECOMING THE HERO OF THE REVOLUTION just like Garp is the hero of the marines!! They just fight ppl but instead of in the name of becoming the pirate king, its for REVOLUTION and JUSTICE because Coby has a working moral compass.

⁃Coby develops new moves combining all that he’s been taught into a rather weird fighting style with a mix of weapons and martial arts. He gets a bounty, and it’s the worst day of his entire life and also the best. He can’t decide, Helmeppo Sabo and Koala (whom he met when Sabo had to explain why he wasn’t on his mission) laugh at him.

⁃Then Sabo runs into Ace, ands that reunion goes as well as you would expect, but that not the important thing, because its still not enough to not send Ace to Marineford. But they don’t know this. Yet.

⁃Sabo and Ace both get news about Ennies Lobby at the same time. Coby, when Luffy mentions knowing Coby to his visiting grandfather, receives a shudder down his spine as if he has narrowly avoided a horrible fate.

⁃But its whatever. Sabo contacts Dragon and plans to meet with him and Luffy at Sabaody, to keep an eye on the Supernovas and let Sabao and Coby see Luffy again.

⁃They never get a chance, as the Strawhat Pirates have disappeared by the time they arrive… and Ace is on the execution block.

⁃Sabo has to go save him and drags Coby along for the ride, who eagerly awaits the opportunity to THROW DOWN SOME MARINES

⁃Luffy still goes through Impel down and all that, but Sabo and Coby still arrive late to the battle.

⁃You know how Sabo saves Luffy and Ace in that one excerpt? Cue coby punching akainu in the face for trying to hurt his friends then dodging the hell outta there as sabo saves ace and luffy.

⁃He Learns his haki! Is like oh shit my crush is gonna die, better do some shit about that! The haki allows him to actually stop Akainu for a second, and stop the fighting, as he attempts to question the people – is this what justice is?

⁃Coby meets trafalagr law and also buggy again. He isn’t afraid anymore, and doesn’t hide. People are quietly proud.

⁃Luffy gets saved and ASL reunion happens.

⁃Luffy decides to train, and tries to get coby to come along with him.

⁃Coby Is just frustrated because he has a moral compass and Luffy is just here saying he’s now best friends with corrupt war lords and the pirate kings right hand man, who is a cool dude, but why luffy, coby is hurt, please stop punching people because you feel like it.

⁃(Coby’s just putting on appearances)

⁃HEs just a good boy who wants to tear down corrupt systems why do you make friends with criminals luffy why do you hurt coby like this

(Again, appearances, he’s not insane, thank you very much)

After leaving Luffy to train and after helping him due his oxbell thing, he leaves with sabo to FINALLY MEET DRAGON

He goes through his own two year training with helpmeppo who is along for the ride. Who Coby has now decided is stuck with him for life.

Training is hell, because Coby wants to find his own fighting style which means a lot of different stuff and seeing what works best and it HURTS

 “Just be grateful im not my father-“ – dragon

 Coby feels the shudder again

Yknow how The revs have that steam punk theme? Well

 STEAMPUNK COBY!!!!
 this is. so cool oh my gosh

 Coby goes around freeing people and when they asked what inspired you hes like “rubber bastard who doesn’t have a moral compass fkdjsha,dk”

Hes gay for luffy he cant deny it

Luffy fanclub #1

Anyway, Coby goes on to take down Akainu and corrupt governments across the world, and makes his dream of tearing down the marines a reality post Pirate King Luffy

[charmspoint]

Haha, hiii, you seem like super nice and I'd love to be friends or something, but I have like theeeee worst social anxiety especially on social media so actually messaging is out of the question. Sooo anyway what this amounts to is that I just think you're really cool and nice and seem very friendly and fun to talk to, hope you have a super nice day!!

Hello! Thank you so much that's such a sweet message ;-;

Don't worry about it anon, you just take it easy on yourself. I know a bit or two about social anxiety. Not too long ago I was absolutely terrified about speaking up about anything in social situations. Like it was the kind where i would enter a group on discord and immediately assume everyone there hated me for ??? no real reason. My initial assumption was simply that i was a very hatable person and that the people i was interacting with had to build towards liking me instead of something needing to happen for them to hate me. So if anything small happened at all, such as for example my message getting accidentally overseen because a lot of people were texting, my mind would immediately blow it out of proportion and think 'they are ignoring me because they dont want me here and they think what i said was stupid'. I remember times when i was literally shaking with anxiety over a server fight or how hard it was for me to make friends and how i basically made my two college friends by sheer luck. One time me and my friend got into a fight and i spent a few days in such a catastrophic mood like 'she hates me forever now and my other friend will leave me too and ill be all alone again because im a hateble person'...we made up a few days after and are still friends.

That was a lot of text to basically say 'i get what you are going through'. Social Anxiety is very rough and very hard to ease because well...it requires you to put yourself out there and that's the scary part. It's like jumping out of a plane when you are afraid of heights, you need to expose yourself to the possibility that people might not like you and that you might have bad social experiences to ease the fear of it. It takes time and it takes good people. It meant a lot to me when in those servers i mentioned i could go to a mod and ask them 'hey do people here hate me?' and them having take it seriously as social anxiety. Like terumob server is long dead and Sassi doesn't follow me here i dont think but 💗Sassi i love you thank you💗It was really nice to be able to sit with someone and basically go 'i know im being irrational but i need reassurance anyway' because things like these are like 'i KNOW its not that bad but i cant help but FEELING like its that bad' and it was really nice to like have ppl who'd go 'if something ever kick starts ur anxiety come to me and i'll check' like just to have someone say 'no this doesnt mean what ur afraid it means' is so very reassuring. And then here i had @autumn-foxfire who i can properly tag and who's inbox i hounded for a while on anon with very long ass rants until i was assured that i was not being super fuckin annoying with my rants and that they are actually fun and enjoyable and now we are friends on here :D so thank you too foxy i also love u 💗

This has gotten really long...but basically like...here i am now, making long ass rants about things i like and have opinions on and there are people who jive with it and there are people who like my fics and come tell me about it (💗all of you guys are great and I super appreciate you making this such a fun experience💗). This kind of stuff is rough and it might ease but it never really feels like it fully goes away. I'm still shit ass at actually making friends irl because idk how to talk to people but i feel like i can be much more of myself because i no longer feel the need to just...cut myself into a silent little cube that nobody notices. So I'm cheering for you anon!! Take things at your own pace but know that things will take pushing and that that pushing might be scary but its so worth it in the end. In the end you know yourself best and you don't really need to start by jumping out of a plane but maybe by finding a nice wall to jump off of. Either way my inbox is always open and I'm not exactly prone to biting lmao.

Thank you again for such a sweet message it really made my morning💗💗💗I'm sorry my reply got so long hbjhbjh i have a lot of thoughts on things >.< 💗 I hope you have a nice day too!!

[queen-of-hearts92]

Giant hands as imagery never mean anything good. The literal stage hands from episode 8 was scary enough but now theres this huge looking hand at the start of Maya's chapter of Overture. Due to this manga being a prequel to the anime I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a giant hand is featured here. Considering what hands like these usually mean, it gives quite unnerving implications, especially for Maya since this was in her chapter. Let me explain! About Maya Tendou and why I’m sad about her.

Quick note from the future: I wrote this post before episode 10 happened so while I would change somethings around I still stand by a lot of what I said here! I’ll probably do a follow up post to this one eventually! Ok thats all, enjoy the meta! owo/

Loom hands can represent danger from a powerful force, they often mean something is preying on someone else. Like a predator hunting down prey, the sharp claws add to the predator image hence the literal stage hands are also clawed. An example would be in the book/movie Coraline who is targeted by the Other Mother. Not only does Other Mother have creepy hands but on the posters and covers for the movie there is indeed a clawed hand above Coraline. 

Another thing looming hands can represent is a lack of control over yourself/your life like being directed by a puppet master. Remember when Maya was talking about the beauty of choice in episode 7? We can start to see why she views it so positively, cause she doesn’t often have that. To go with the theme of a lack of control, the controlling hand can also represent abuse of any kind. 

You see. The visual of an adult hand reaching towards a child who looks like her in the darkness has some, sad implications about Maya. I actually did wonder if that sort of thing happened during her childhood. I never put it in my write ups cause I didn't want to assume nor did I feel I had enough evidence but then this chapter happened. Now I’m suspecting abuse, physical and/or emotional most likely. I’ve said a few times in my write ups that you don’t get someone like Maya out of a happy childhood, and I know I’m right but what happened exactly we were only able to guess at for awhile but thanks to this chapter we have some idea of whats going on. 

Maya has had expectations thrown at her since she was born. Her parents it sounds like that they groomed her to be a stage girl. I’ve always been bothered that she's referred to as a thoroughbred. Yeah that word can be used at ppl but not normally, you call race horses that are born and bred to compete a thoroughbred. Maya has that word in every one of her descriptions, and that’s why. 

She was bred for the stage, nothing else was ever an option for her. Maya’s whole existence is the stage, the ghost story play in her chapter is really referring to her. She’s the ghost that gets swallowed up by the darkness. Two of the quotes from the play that stood out to me was “Aside from the heart of a stage, the position zero, there was nowhere else that I belonged.” and “The light of the spotlight is the only thing that reveals my existence at all”. To farther cement this parallel is that the ghost girl has Maya’s hair style therefore looks similar to her and only Maya is able to see her. Maya the performer is seen by others of course but Maya as a human being isn’t. That’s the invisible part, only being in the spotlight reveals her existence.

We can see this in the fact that Maya doesn’t have any close friends and while Claudine is easily the closest to Maya she’s still distant to the point that Kuro also sees Maya as a perfect embodiment of the stage. Kuro couldn’t even fathom that Tendou Maya was afraid of something silly like ghosts hence she thought Maya was acting instead. That’s a big relationship barrier here, Kuro needs to see Maya as a human being or their relationship just isn’t going to work.

Noticing that Maya has been dehumanized by everyone around her is extremely depressing honestly. From what I can tell her parents see her as a well trained prized pet, her peers see her as above them, and her crush sees her as this perfect stage girl to a point she cant recognize if Maya is acting or when she’s genuinely like scared in this case. Maya does do what she is expected to do but it seems like she’s created a coping mechanism of sorts. If her peers see her as this untouchable figure fine, she’ll be that to inspire them to progress. She wants to be the best so others do their best, this way it gives her a purpose besides just being a wind up toy on the stage. However this kind of coping won’t work forever cause at the end of the day she’s still treated like an object and not a person. Something will give, and it will hurt a lot. Like someone, please see her as a person! She needs that so so badly. God dammit...

On top of all this Maya being associated with birds has depressing implications as well. Birds can mean all sorts of shit, but one of the big ones is freedom. Ya know, caged birds still sing after all. If Maya is that bird, the one who can’t fly freely, then she’ll learn how to sing. However Maya isn’t associated with the traditional caged birds, she’s associated with swans. Swans can’t be contained like that, shouldn’t be contained like that. Just because a swan has accepted their cage doesn’t make the cage less smaller or tighter. Or feel less suffocating. Like I said in my episode 7 write up, Maya is trying hardcore to look only forward and never back but not facing the ghosts of your past can and will cause problems and eventually drag you down. Maya isn’t a lark or any kind of songbird, she’s a swan that learned how to sing and perform. And if that swan can’t or won’t break free, then its only gonna get worse from here.

All this shit ofc factors in kuromaya. I think one of the reasons why Maya has fallen for Claudine and seeks her out is while Kuro does see her as perfect, instead of backing down she fucking goes for it and thats exciting as hell for Maya. People just don’t do that around her nor succeed in truly challenge her like Kuro can. Plus unlike her, Kuro chose to go into the stage and acting. Maya must really admire that she chose this rough path and did it cause she wanted to. Hell maybe even envy her for being able to do that. She loves Kuro’s drive and passion, she loves being around her. But I do think that eventually Kuro also treating her as not human will get to Maya. And when that happens, that’s gonna hurt a lot man.

I honestly can’t imagine what it’s like to go your entire life being treated like a fancy animal at best and a thing at worst. The coping mechanism is probably the only reason why she hasn’t fucking lost her mind or her sense of self, but as I said that won’t solve anything in the long term. 

Maya is gonna break, everyone has their limits and I wouldn’t be surprised if she’ll be hitting hers soon. She, honestly needs to. You can’t bottle that shit up forever, its gonna explode. When the break happens I’m pretty sure Claudine will see it happen, cause she needs to see that Maya is human too. She’s probably the only one who can possibly understand since she also grew up in the spotlight. This will be a helpful and healing experience for both of them, Maya can finally let it all out and Kuro can learn a new way to look at her and even their rivalry over complicated lesbian mating dance. I’m hoping that’s what episode 10 will show us.

And I’m gonna cry a lot if it does go this way, ever since I noticed how everyone around her dehumanizes her I’ve been sad about it. I just want Maya to be happy god dammit. ;A;

Edit: I just gotta say, Green Finch and Linnet Bird now makes me think of Maya and now I’m sad. orz

[unproduciblesmackdown]

here’s me talking about the month since i was last online

firstly it was/is depressing not to be able to talk with ppl or hear from them. or just to be able to talk somewhere i know people CAN hear. i also mentioned being completely detached from the news. i like to be current about the news. anyways i was like “well not like this is anything new” as its technically unusual for me to NOT be cut off both irl and from the internet. but, shockingly, that doesnt make it not depressing. and having something for even a bit makes it more frustrating to lose it even if its ��normal” for you not to have it. also by depressing i mean i was going like hmm i sure am even more tired than usual and i am less interested in my few lingering faint interests. whats up with that! and then i was like oh yeah thats called Even More Depression

it is funny because im someone who has never really had that many friends and when i do we often end up separated one way or another. Very Close friends &/or Very Longtime friends are a foreign concept. basically the heights of my “what i wish it was like” for life involve having a group of friends with whom you can have fun in an empty parking lot in the middle of the night just talking and hanging out and messing around. friends that you feel comfortable being yourself around and like they appreciate you as much as you do them. i do not think this is ever going to happen, but oh well because in reality i can be very picky about people because i am weird, to put it that way for now. my social landscape and language is not always considered normal or even tolerable. and i have a lot of standards for who i want to have around me in terms of traits and personality. theres a lot of things im not interested in. anyways. i also just, in the way things actually are, often prefer to be alone, so that i can be myself and do things i feel like. i dont have to worry about being strange or feeling like i need to please people. anyways. unfortunately i dont ONLY like being alone. i actually really like to be with people and talk with them but i rarely can, and i figure this is bad for me. isolation isnt good for anyone obviously. not being able to be around friends in person depresses me. not being able to talk online either depresses me further.

i think sometimes about how much i dont say. its a funny place to say it, in an overly long text post. but one of the reasons they can be so long is because irl i dont really talk much to people. so it builds up and can come out through writing. sometimes it comes out in talking. i think that in conversations, when i do talk, i talk too much because of this. so one of the reasons i dont talk much is to prevent this, which obviously is like “well that would just cancel out” but there are other reasons i dont talk. but i have loads of thoughts and things to say. i end up keeping so much of it to myself and wonder sometimes if i’ll ever get to say some of it. sometimes i’ll have something to say and bite it back. i’ve been “quiet” all these past twenty some years of talking and i know the reasons i dont talk. i was thinking about the feeling of biting something back in an individual occasion feeling like the cumulation of all the years worth of keeping my own voice running in my head alone. it kind of feels like what you want to say is in your chest and throat and the roof of your mouth.

speaking of the roof of your mouth, theres a weird sensation i can feel sometimes, seemingly at random but mostly in strange times like trying to fall asleep. it is so transient and unlike any actual externally caused sensations that its been difficult to try to get a grasp of how to describe it, but i think i have it thanks to ongoing effort and an unusually long period of it a few days ago during which i was especially alert about it. it’s like having a pressure radiating out from inside your mouth. like an orb pushing outwards against the teeth and roof of the mouth. which i’m fairly sure isn’t anything that would ever happen, so i am assuming its some little neurological hiccup that happens to align every now and then, but maybe a previous life cycle has put something weird in their mouth. or shot into it, because i would be like, well not much has changed.

anyways. words sitting like a pressure in your mouth. i was seeing a thread about how grief is ongoing and reoccurring which also mentioned that people who specialize in knowing how grieving and living with it works often consider it to be a form of grief when someone’s life is affected by something like trauma. they have to grieve themselves because of the possibilities taken away from them. i feel that, sometimes. thinking about how i wish i had a life where i felt free to speak and where my identity mattered and i got to feel like i could be myself and it was important and it was important what i thought and wanted and who i really was. and where i got to have friends and do things and realize what it was to actually feel happy, not try to understand an unhappy existence as what must be okay. its not just what couldve been in the past, but also how that couldve affected the present and future. im not sure who i’d be if my life didnt have to be about survival and escape. i say i never had dreams, which is true, but in retrospect i DO think that when i was fifteen and really bearing down in trying to figure out what i wanted to do, i was already seeing activism as the answer, which made sense why it wouldnt register as a dream or ambition and why it was also impossible to pursue. i still dont think of anything like personal fulfillment through a career/job or anything. but i also dont think of what i want to do as very relevant to anything at all anymore.

anyways. i’m “used” to things, but they still depress and hurt me. i actually have a lot of sadness and anger about some of these things, like never getting to have the friends i wanted or never being able to speak and it not mattering who i really was, and how long it took me to realize this really wasn’t okay and it wasn’t because of some personal deficiency which made me deserve it somehow. also the abuse. i remember i had this how-to book about weaving friendship bracelets which i got sometime in elementary school, and it even supplied some twine and stuff. i had always wanted to have occasion to use it, and i never did, which is just symbolic. the twine/potential friendship bracelets can also be things like positive social connections that feel real and open, or my ability to feel secure in expressing affection because it seems mutual. but anyways. i also just go along.

i was thinking about the Being Gone For A Month thing and the not-talking and holding all my words back even though i think so much about all sorts of junk and thus have too much to say, and about a week ago i just spent like six hours writing about myself. i was debating doing so in the first place because i figured i wouldnt post it. i did write it, but i won’t post it. its just good to talk to myself in the form of writing. getting thoughts into that form requires an extra level of analysis and coherent flow that can help put even things you already knew more in order. so here’s this stuff instead.

there’s not much to say about this past month. the worst of it was that discovering my weird tooth is all janky and broken has made me on edge about teeth. i mean, i’ve already all but stopped worrying about the broke tooth, because i kind of do that sometimes when i can. just worry hard and then stop, because what can you do? might as well try to avoid stressing even worse. and in this case i dont have money and doubt i will ever have a job w dental coverage, so i cant do anything about it. but im always worried about my teeth because, fittingly, my parents dental genes seem to combine into that of a tasmanian devil. i think im in some Dental Report b/c i had this weird situation that needed basically a root canal but it wasnt the normal kind of root canal situation and the dentist said he hadn’t seen it or heard of it even. special. i was horrified about needing the root canal, because of the clichés. but it ended up being fine and i really just sat there for an hour thinking about whatever. dental procedures are truly not what theyre hyped up to be. on account of local anesthetics. anyways. when i left my parents house i was specifically worried about leaving my access to a dentist, but obviously it wouldve been far from worth it. but that doesn’t mean i dont worry about my teeth. so i had these few days where i just had a spontaneously sensitive gum spot and another one which im guessing i caused by jamming corn shards down in there by eating corn on the cob. that happened sort of last year, i got really worried about an angry-looking spot on my gums and finally realized something was just up in there that needed to be flossed out. anyhow. the point is i got overly worried about everything that always worries me even though it used to worry me even before going to the dentist and they’d say the stuff was fine actually. but still. i got

very worried for a minute there and i realized very easily that if i start getting any really serious tooth problems i am out of here. i have no motivation at all to live through it. i don’t want to have to deal with that. it’s way too much. i dont even have motivation to be alive now. but when i was worrying i was thinking about not using my handful of cash to change locations, but instead to get some fancy Dying Equipment. there are still some methods by which im not sure i could try offing myself. but if things got a lot worse, like teeth problems, i could probably lower those standards. i COULD obtain some items for one method, or by necessity do it for free. im less worried about the tooth stuff now. it was just an unfortunate convergence of a couple tiny things. but ive still got a sensitive spot or two, and im always a bit worried. if something bad happens i cant do anything about it except get tf out of this life cycle, right.

there was something else unfortunate i was going to talk about. maybe just the depression.

there were nice, small things. i always knew how to enjoy those kinds of stuff. i like the sky, and i appreciate that its summer. theres a lot of fireflies sometimes and i saw kittens chasing them one day. one of those kittens mightve gotten killed by something since. i got to hear rain on the roof a few times. i like corn on the cob even if it betrayed me. i was wanting some last summer. i also got to make sweet tea and lemonade for the first time in forever. i’d been wanting that for a long time too.

the nicest surprise was that i had been writing extra hard since the start of june. i sort of really pushed at it and got to the dividing point between the section and the next, and i was sure it was shorter than previous sections. but actually it was just over 1000 words short of being 140k, and i’d written it all in about five weeks, and it was abt 22.5% longer than the next longest section i’d written. i’ve since gotten to a point i’ve been writing towards since this whole time, and im right on the verge of another long awaited one right now. it’s nice, but writing has been fun, and i hope i dont get depressed if i hopefully do finish it. i can just write some more, but doing so on my phone isnt the most efficient. it doesnt seem sustainable.

anyways thats it for now before i can think of anything else to say am i right

[clarz-cc-archive]

answered July 4, 2020

Q: https://twitter.com/clarz/status/1279531373263556608?s=21 this is absolutely great advice & thank you for voicing it! i totally agree. i do wish though that i could adhere to it better. in the case of a fandom as huge as army, i honestly find it difficult, even when muting certain words and blocking/muting people, to keep myself from seeing stuff that upsets me and not be affected by it. i cant help coming across tweets that promote that whole btspop/anti-kpop narrative, which personally strikes me as inherently xenophobic and somewhat problematic and those takes always leave me uncomfortable. same with some other (very loud) opinions that seem so ubiquitous recently on army twitter. i block left and right these days, but i honestly find it almost impossible to avoid certain parts of fandom twitter that i don’t agree with because they are everywhere. i’m literally just here to see cute pics of the boys and engage with my circle of friends, but wow its becoming exhausting. how do you manage to not be affected by this?

A: i agree that it's impossible to avoid EVER seeing takes that make you uncomfortable or upset! for me it helps to have good fandom friends who you can vent to when you see something that annoys you; i frequently try to avoid actually tweeting about fandom stuff that i find annoying unless i think i have something new or useful to add, bc tweeting publicly always means engagement, since more people will respond, which naturally extends the length of time over which i have the convo (plus even if they agree with me that Thing Bad, they might disagree about why thing bad and then that's a whole thing lol.) i find that certain days are worse for me than others, whether bc army is being particularly spicy or bc my temperament is particularly cranky, and i know it's hard to do but the only surefire solution i've found is just to get off twitter for a while! if twitter is not making me feel good that day, i'm not gonna be on it.

for me it also helps to speculate about what people's motives could be for tweeting the things they do. MANY ppl just suck, but i think a lot of people have bad opinions in good faith and have been indoctrinated into thinking that they're being a Good Fan by doing what they do. frankly, i think a lot of the upset caused by seeing tweets you disagree with comes from assuming the worst possible motives from the person tweeting it, and i try to ask myself like, "does it really affect my life if this person wants to be anti-kpop?" and so often those anti-kpop tweets are obviously SPECIFICALLY looking to upset "kpoppies," so if i allow myself to be upset about it, that person gets what they want! just... how sad must their life be that they feel the need to court controversy in order to make themselves feel good.

[eiwyn]

NON ADOPTEES SHUT THE FUCK UP AND FUXKING LISTEN

i just saw a stupid fcking post with obviously white non-adopted feminists tryna look good and openminded and progressive and understanding by promoting adoption without having any idea what they’re talking about lmao can someone just kill me already. why is adoption so romanticized? why do ppl think adoptes just ”wait” to get adopted and that adoptive parents are some sort of ”heros” or ”good people” for adopting??? why do white rich ppl think they have MORE right to have another persons child than the fuxking biological parent themselves?? that must be like the most toxic mindset and its SOOOOO typical white rich ppl and their savior complex. THEY know BETTER on how to take care of brown poor peoples children than themselves. like this is just colonial bullshit. you’re stealing poor brown peoples children and excuse yourself with ”knowing better”????? you have every fucking money and privilege in the WORLD to help brown poor people to stay with their children or use birth control, yet you DONT!!!! bc you USE them to boost your disgusting white rich savior image. im so triggered by non-adoptees talking about adoption. that post had like 200k + and im just here like.... youre all fucking stupid. honestly. ITS NOT THAT EASY, STOP TREATING US AS OBJEVTS, STOP TALKING OVER OUR HEADS AND START LISTEN TO ACTUAL ADOPTEES god i hate them so much lmaooo. its just SO FUCKING CRINGE, they literally out there wanna feel good about themselves for being so ”openminded” and ”seeing adoptees as children lile their own” like wow you want a fucking prize or smth?? they act like the prejudices they face are the WORST ever when in fact, the prejudices adoptees face from their adoptive parents are WAY worse than any random stranger saying ”i could never adopt”. i just wanna say that adoption isn’t something good and anyone who thinks that is dumb af and can unfollow me right now. now repeat after me; ASOPTION IS NOT GOOD. ADOPTION IS TRQUMA. like why would it be GOOD TO BE ABANDONED BY YOUR PARENTS, HAVING TRAUMATIC ISSUES, THEN GET YOURSELF A PAIR OF WHITE ADOPTIVE PARENTS WHO ACT AS OF THEY DID YOU A SERVICE BY ADOPTING??? adoptive parents dont want to help children lmaoo. they just want a child + feel good about themselves. white rich adoptive parents have EVERY PRIVILEGE IN THE WORLD to help poor brown families stay together, wether its about birth control or financial contribution and less racism. but nope, they don’t. because they know they can use these poor people to adopt their children. it’s capitalism and colonialism in a nutshell. rich ppl loves to think they help poor people by exploiting them as if they were slaves. and white ppl loves to exploit brown ppl and take their babies and ”assimilate”, ”civilize” them. i hate white feminists who think adoption is the solution to everything. i hate white feminists who think poc and gays and poor ppl should adopt more because ”thats so progressive and diverse” without thinking of the DAMAGE adoption caused children?? like lmao you think its fun to be shipped around the first few years of your life??? you think this will just ”get better” later? (you fucking inhumane piece of shit. i got big abandonment issues and im emotionally unstable which has caused me to fuck up many relationships, only making my abandonment issues growing stronger. and thats probably smth i’ll have to learn to live with for the rest of mt life. fick you.) you promote for minority and oppressed groups to adopt without even realizing that its THESE GROUPS adoptees come from?? like maybe you should HELP THEM keep their children instead?? i know whites in the america who make like campaings and shit so ppl can DONATE to them so they can ADOPT????? but they cant even help the MOTHER to KEEP her child???? not to talk about sweden were adoptive parents get 80k to adopt bc ”poor ppl should also be able to adopt” but us ADOPTEES dont get ANYTHING to be able to revisit our home countries??? no instead we have to pay a membership flr these disgusting adoption orgnakzations, tell them our whole life story and our revisit and PROMOTE their organisation so OTHER adoptees will pay them and OTHER adoptive parents wanna adopt with them??? yeah. unpopular opinion but adoption is fucked up. adoption isnt a human right, no one has the right to take another persons child. however the CHILD has the right to know who their parents are and where they come from. adoption is nothing but human trafficking and capitalism, racism, colonialism and sexism all in one. and i refuse to think otherwise. also if you’re not adopted, then dont fucking speak about us. dont fucking talk about us. you think you’re our allies LMAO you think its us ”adoptive parents and adoptees against the evil ignorant racists” but you’re fuxking wrong. its US ADOPTEES agains adoptive parents and adoptive prganisations constantly trying to profit from our seperstion with our biological families. youre not our fkn allies, you dont undersyand shit. do you know how many times ive spent my free time in trying to educate adoptive parents FOR THE SAKE OF THEIR CHILDREN and they dont undersyand nor care a shit?? its not bc they’re stupid. i grew up with the same parents, i learn everytjing mysELF (thanks to other adoptees, thanks to my experiences as a brown adopted woman and thanks to my interest for polticis and human rights). if I CAN DO IT SO CAN YOU. ppl get so triggered when adoptees question adoption y’all be like ”omg u must have had a shit childhood im so sorry for you”, ”wow youre SOOO ungrateful!!! you should just have been a child prostitute back in asia then???” (lmao that says a lot about tour fucking reasons bejind adopting and your fucking pride. so many adoptees being threatened to be sent back, guilt tripping them, which definitely is abuse but no one gives af about that). people get so triggered by adoptees questioning adoption but they dont undersyand my adoption isn’t better or worse than anyone elses. ppl assume im mentally ill or hate my adoptive parents but in reality i just hate capitalism, racism, sexism and classism. like its not that hard to understand lmao. ITS COMMON FUCKING SENSE YOU CANT CLAIM TO CARE ABOUT WOMEN, POC OR POOR PEOPLE WITHOUT VARING ABOUT ADORPEES. yet its SOOOO taboo to claim youre against adoption bc adoption is so romanticized due to all the whites saving war orphans. its not adoption ”in itself” im against FUCKING OBVIOUSLY but the INDUSTRY. like idgaf if your step father, who’s been your stepfather since u were 2 after your biological dad died, adopts you?? im obviously against the exploitation of poor people but that is SOOOO TABOO even among ”feminists” which i find so fkn weird tbh and EXTREMELY hypocritical. adoption is a feminist issue, yet no one gives af. if you’re one of those people promoting adoption, CLAIMING to care about us, but agtually u just want money/children and to look good then fuck you block my ass and dont ever look at a child ever fuxking again.

[deans-asscot]

I'm probably just being super dramatic about everything and I'm sorry if I've offended anyone since that's not my intentions. I know everyone is entitled to their own opinions and see things differently.

It's just so hard. I've had so much shit thrown at me these last couple weeks. Rly dumb stuff that just sets me off. And I'm angry. I'm just constantly angry at everything and I want to fight. Like an honest to God fist fight. And I'm sad. I'm so sad all the time too. All I can do is cry and I haven't cried this much since I was bullied in middle/high school. Or maybe since that one terrible summer. And it honestly feels like this is all I have left. This stupid fucking show is the last thing keeping me going. And it pains me to see people take a dump all over it and laugh because it's trending.

I'm honestly trying to come to terms with my own mortality. This is probably me being dramatic again but my brother is sick and there's a good chance he has corona. And I've just been locked in my room figuring im already infected. And if the virus itself doesn't kill me then it'll trigger my diseased kidneys and kill me like that. And all I can think about is how I just hope I manage to make it to the series finale and get some form of closer. Which is being dramatic cuz we don't even know for sure if it's corona. And he won't get tested and my parents won't do anything about it. And its the not knowing that kind of makes it worst.

I was in Korea when the virus broke out and I was alone for so long. Always paranoid and always worried about my family back home. And now I'm here and I kind of resent them for not doing anything. And my parents are of course at risk and I don't want them to hurt either.

And idk what I'm doing with my life. I've been jumping through hoops to get a job that I dont even rly want and I'm afraid that I'll be starting soon. And if I'm sick then obviously I shouldn't start at all then that means they might drop me and I've already payed so much money to get this job. And I cant even go to the kitchen of my house to get food without seeing the bacteria everywhere and being so paranoid and just angry.

And the only thing I have to look forward to is this stupid show that ppl are calling h*m*ph*bic and that pisses me off. But I'm not gay so I can't say shit even tho everyone assumes I'm gay. And I'm just so angry all the time. I can enjoy things and still be critical of it but im not willing to give up on this so quick. I need all the info before that.

And its so dumb because I honestly shouldn't care about other ppl's opinions. I dont watch things because of them. I dont enjoy things because of them. And enjoying something doesn't make me a bad person. All of my friends have abandoned this show and I'm all thats left. Which honestly isn't surprising since most of them abandoned me in high school at some point too. But the stupid thing is that this stupid show reminds me of them. Better days when we would all talk about it and had SOMETHING in common. I remember the memories associated with the show more than anything. And I have this amazing lack of ability to make new friends so I'm basically stuck cuz this is all I have. Which is honestly pathetic. But I dont turn my back on my past fandoms/obsessions because they at some point brought me joy when I needed it most. And they bring amazing memories with them. And I just hate it when ppl are so quick to drop/hate on their old fandoms cuz they've grown out of it. Maybe cuz I'll never grow up. I'm just a 25 year old loser who acts like a teenager and cries like a baby.

I just want to go home. But I'm already here so idk what I'm supposed to do.

I dont want help. I just needed an outlet. Somewhere to put these thoughts. If you see this dont interact. Pretend you didn't see it. After all, I'm just being dramatic and this too shall pass.

[strawberryspeachy]

Also im sick of obnoxious japanese eaters

Things ive found out are myths here

1) everyones nice.

No. Everyone smiles hard to cover up whatever assholery theyre doing - if theyre supposed to be nice to you. Public people are the same as usual... except theres alot more shoving

2) everything about school

They don’t pay for school. Its free. Just like ours. Except private school. Just like ours

They are not MORE overworked in school nor do they study more. Their rules are much loser. And just like the states, teachers have no real authority- but unlike the states - the students do not fear repercussions. They can be touched though but thats more because japanese people think its fine to touch each other a lot - ya know. Just dont hug as an adult - but all other invading of some kind of private bubble is fine

3) SLURPING No thats not just a “it shows you love the food!” Bs. Just like the states, the people you hear disgustingly slurping just eat loud and are gross... imo... people here dont seem to think its gross but far more people eat like civilized humans and dont slurp everything from solids to actual liquids.

K like every time the past two days ive had to be near people slurping their fucking food and as a person who HATES hearing people eat... its why im bitching here. LETTUCE DOES NOT NEED SLURPED

4) just anything they call “culture” they used a pretty word to cover for “thats just the dumb thing we do here” its literally like if we said aggressively speed driving and cutting people off is new yorkers culture

Japan has a lot of history and traditions. But mostly they have a lot of bs that theyre just too stubborn to acknowledge and change so they lable it culture. Any changes they make are pretty much like when my great grandmother got a cell phone.

She only turned it on to charge it and make a phone call - leave a voicemail saying that she called - and then would turn it back off. It wasnt ever even on long enough for her to need to charge it.

But in her mind no one could complain that she didnt have one. And the only emergency in her mind was her needing to call you - not vice versa. She wouldnt use it for any other purpose and generally resented its existence. She hated watching anyone else use their cell phones to check the time or take pictures or play games or have lenthy conversations.

Yea. Thats basiclly japan with everything new. They have it. But they dont use it , and its possibilities scare them so the old ppl say its not allowed to be used unless the old people need to use it

Sorry man i hate everywhere i am. My aparment is next to a bar that looks permanently closed during the day. I had no clue it was there till after i moved in and the loud karaoke blared into my window every damn night

My train line is a nightmare and if you wanna see the worst japanese people can be. Ride the train during rush hours

My post office is far away and they refuse to ring my doorbell when i have a delivery and instead just leave slip - if you dont hike over in their made up time period they throw your stuff away

No one will actually help you with serious stuff. They just smile and say sorry and run away — customer service. Yea. Not customer service. They could just as easily be a manican with a smiley face - itd serve the same purpose.

Theres too much paperwork constantly all the time about everything

Nothing is online

Another thing that prompted me for this “this is japanese chocolate”

Cool. I got that its japanese. Im in japan. Everything people point out for me “its japanese____” fucking imagine if we felt the need to point out every damn item as “american” in the states. Why? What is the meaning of this?

They gave me a table to sit at at this school. A table. That they make lunch on and put all their supplies on. A dude just kicked my chair as he came over for some shit. Why am i sitting at a table? Very very few japanese people ive worked with dont make me feel like an adopted pet dog that theyre not sure if itll bite. Dog. Not new person. They literlly have the children fetch me...

And ive grown so so very tired of being asked questions with the intention of having me overhype japan while maintaining that im so stupid that i know absolutely nothing about the country

98% of japanese people assume that you think of japan like youve never even heard of their country before arriving and that you just arrived two days ago

Also. Maybe they think their test scores and clases are so much more difficult because they cant seem to fathom that most other countries schools function the same way as theirs

Yesterday a teacher said “ah theyre so overworked. They have alot to remember” i thought she was about to tell me how many units were on their exam or something... no “english, japanese, science, math, history, pe, food class, art! Too many things. Theyre very overworked”

..... are you for real? Im pretty sure every fucking school has those subjects if you switch out japanese for the countries native language.... this is NORMAL

Im sorry. I know the reason anyone talking to me like this might not like me. Cause im not gonna go WOWWW SUGEII?!?!? So much stuff!! Poor them!

No. Yeah? Thats school...

Look im not an asshole to my kids. If they can manage to tell me any information about their life in english or simple japanese i can translate - i act surprised/ or am if their english is super good.

But adults... no man. Learn some stuff about the outside world. Youre not specifical

Also dating boys here is just like back home except they wont block you and they respond less

Instead of getting “nice” “oh” “idk” and “maybe” as there fading messages - they just leave you on read. Or give you some random information that you didnt ask about that has no relevance to the ‘convo’

Also also. “Speak slow” they dont say this in a ‘my english is not good so speak slower’ way. They say this in a ‘i felt really good about my english until you spoke at a normal pace and my classes and ass-kissing white dudes have taught me that enlgish is spoken slow and percisely so if you dont speak with a japanese accent, your fast english is wrong’

Whatever but like... could you return the favor by speaking japanese slowly. Speak it the way you want me to speak english....

Telling them to speak slow results in something like

... nihon..de〜 nan mabdnshsnabsjsnjsbshssnbsjsbsjshsh ka?

Woah ok... something in Japan... couldnt catch the rest of that

Id be more understanding of this. Its hard to speak slow. Lets both acknowledge this and not - teachers compalining to principals and boys... (1) sending me a fucking video on how to speak my own damn language properly

Also. Do you know how upsetting it is to listen to a student say something perfectly but before i get to praise them - have the japanese teacher jump in and “correct” them...... no no dude please. I know youll have a fucking meltdown if i say no your ways wrong. But now this student is so confused desperately staring at me positive theyre correct and all ive come up with to do is smiling and nodding at them while repeating the way they said hoping the japanese teacher wont notice/get offended

Also togo food... if its not american fast food... generally you cant take it to go... its sad. I have no friends. I just wanna take this home to eat in front of my tv. This isnt serious. Its just a minior inconvenience

Also joking... my japanese isnt good enough to joke. And... idk how... cant explain. The other day a student asked whats my favorite food

And another went hamburger?!? Mcdonalds!!?

I wanted to comment.. but. At least elementary students understand sarcasm. Their teachers dont. And whether the middle schoolers understand and just dont care is up in the air.

Oh! And. I was right last week when i didnt trust my teachers saying that the obvious bullying was just a misunderstanding and the obvious targets fault. Another straight up teacher said some kids have left the school because of bullying and theyre really awful when left alone in the rooms... i told him thats why we cant go unsupervised in america. Japan says the students are just perfect upstanding citizens, so much more caring and mature than other students. Nope. Middle schoolers will be middle schoolers no matter what country.

[shibascarf]

I FOUND SOME FLUFF FOR YOU GUYS

Dug this out of my old chatlogs with @egoldtist​

i think they and i both did a tiny bit of drawings for this one too

here is 50′s au:

sofa: its just the jli as a weird vaguely incompetent 50s biker gang who try to cause A Ruckus but more often than not they just band together to drive out neighborhood threats

sofa: in any period au ted totally kind of hits on booster as a joke, to like tease him, and boosters like haha yeah right funny

sofa : until the dawning realization takes him

shibe : i love that like.... paradoxically.... the more open and queer-friendly a time period is, the more closeted ted is for some reason

shibe: hahahhaha

sofa : yeah omg

shibe : like, the more likely his flirting jokiness is to be taken seriously, the more cautious he becomes

shibe : i feel like if gayness had a death penalty, ted would be running around playing gay chicken like HA HA

sofa : HONESTLY

shibe : what a strange chubby man

sofa : true but i love him

shibe : i'm just imagining biker ted's bike

shibe : which he clearly calls the bug

sofa : oh absolutely

sofa : he probably builds in a side car later

shibe : ahhhhhhh

sofa : because as is soon very apparent, booster should be no where near bikes

shibe : the sidecar is dubbed "skeets"

shibe : because its squeaks

sofa : YES

shibe : booster trying to look intimidating in that sidecare tho

shibe : big goggles and all

shibe : they pull up alongside a convertible and booster has to look UP to stare the driver down

sofa : hes pretty sour about it

shibe : he looks great when they're in the pool hall. he's got a nice leather jacket. he's tall. he's' buff

shibe : but then you follow him out to the parking lot and he hops into that sidecar

sofa : its all over

sofa : he tries to do something to prove hes intimidating which is mostly ted driving around while booster smashes what he can from his sidecar

shibe : with a crowbar

sofa : they knock an old lady's mailbox over but she catches them and theyre like OH SHIT

shibe : DRIVE TED DRIVE

sofa : she catches them and in order to avoid prison time they get stuck using up their whole afternoon fixing it for her

shibe : but they do genuinely feel pretty bad

sofa : true

sofa : they repaint it and everything

sofa : it looks pretty bad but they tried

shibe : bea and tora ride by to just... watch and shake their heads

sofa : honestly

sofa : even guy gets in on it

sofa : just to make fun of them

shibe : guy's the asshole that drives through a mud puddle nearby to get it all over them

sofa : guy better be careful that old lady'll get him too

shibe : are you kidding, he petsits her cats every summer

shibe : (no one knows)

sofa : no one can EVER know

shibe : i'm sure they all go to the ice cream parlor and dance at sock hops

sofa : oh man absolutely

sofa : only about 3 of them can actually dance everyone else is pretty bad

shibe : ted's an amazing dancer for sure

sofa : booster can probably lift up whoever hes dancing with

sofa : ohhh yes absolutely

shibe : BOOSTER AND TED DOING THE JITTERBUG

sofa : YES

shibe : booster being like man, ted, you ever get jealous that the chicks get to wear those poofy petticoats and poodle skirts?

shibe : ted's like whatt

shibe : "ahahhaha  no nothing never mind"

sofa : yessss omfg

shibe : he totally has never been caught wearing michelle's when no one's home

shibe : it's not even a sexual thing, he just loves skirts and dresses

sofa : absolutely

sofa : they just look so GOOD its not FAIR

shibe : they're so SWISHY and POOFY and fun

sofa : theyre probably not as hot either

shibe : than leather? hahahhahah for sure

sofa : ted probably thinks about what he said later like

sofa : its not like he'd look BAD in them- ok wait nO

shibe : buys booster a jacket with a poodle on the back of it

shibe : like here

sofa : BOOSTER LOVES IT

sofa : he looks so happy about it

shibe : BEA COME LOOK AT MY JACKET

sofa : even though he cant wear it out much

shibe : tora tora toraaaaaaaaaaa look at this jacket

sofa : ted got it for me

sofa : teds the BEST

shibe : "why does it have a poodle on it booster"

[8 shibe : it's.... an inside joke

sofa : its between us...... 'friends'

shibe : "by 'friends' do you mean guys that make out in the boys bathroom and smoke together during homeroom"

shibe : BEA

sofa : THATS IT BEA

sofa : teds like "what cant two guys just pal around and kiss each other... for laughs.... come on"

shibe : "it's practice bea"

shibe : "we're practicing for junior prom. i'm gonna ask michelle out"

shibe : "NO UR NOT."

shibe : don't you even LOOK at my sister u creep

sofa : that's how ted realizes hes really, really actually gay

sofa : hes like kissing girls compared to kissing booster is not.. its not as good

sofa : fuck

shibe : he's at prom like "oh geeze"

shibe : "i've made a huge mistake"

sofa : hes so alarmed

sofa : on one hand hes trying to figure out how deep in denial he can be and on the other its like

sofa : what about booster

sofa : does booster like kissing girls more than kissing me

shibe : oh noooooooooooooooooooooo

shibe : booster's across the room slow-dancing with bea and sticks his tongue out at ted

sofa : ted just tries to act natural but hes totally thinking of asking booster to slow dance in private later

shibe : he's like "okay do i come up with an excuse or do i just ask him for real"

shibe : truthfully booster doesn't think kissing ted is like.... a huge amount better than kissing girls.  it's just better with ted because ted is fun and good with mechanics and gets it when booster is complaining about guy stuff

shibe : but then when he considers that dating a girl would mean not kissing ted anymore he's like ........nah i'm good

sofa : no thanks

shibe : i'm dying, just think of bea/tora making a deal with booster/ted to be each other's beards

sofa : OHHH H YES

shibe : they even stage a fake pregnancy scare one time so that eveyrone thinks they're a totally sexually active teen het romance

sofa : the challenge is to not act too outrageous while theyre on 'dates' because ted will start cracking up at any stupid thing booster tries while 'dating' bea

sofa : OHH MY GOD U KIDS

shibe : bea's like "i dunno" but then tora points out that it basically means they get to go on dates for free b/c the guys have to foot the bill

sofa : it leads to extremely cheap dates

sofa : but extremely cheap dates they still don't have to pay for

shibe : i'm trying to imagine ted and booster like.... slow-dancing outside the gymnasium by the dumpster, with earth angel playing tinnily from the door

shibe : cry

sofa : ohhhh no that's too cute

shibe : michelle like... keeping watch on the steps, smiling fondly

sofa : shes very proud of her brother but also: his tastes

sofa : because despite the gang stuff teds obviously still a nerd

shibe : the sheer relief that ted doesn't want to date her for real

sofa : HONESTLY

sofa : im dying purely in thought of all the gestures booster must do that counts as "look we're going steady" but no one will like go out of their way to ask them about

sofa : like giving ted his jacket

shibe : or his ring

shibe : or his pin

sofa : or carrying his books or something

sofa : YEAH

sofa : TEDS SO FLUSTERED but hes gotta keep it cool

shibe : guy thoroughly beating the shit out of anyone that laughs about them behind their backs

sofa : its enough to scare ppl into backing off at least

sofa : guy def still teases them all the damn time tho

shibe : oh totally

shibe : but like, no one else gets to

shibe : guy cracks a joke at their expense and someone in earshot laughs

shibe : and guy just spins around like YOU WANT SOME

sofa : i bet all of them get detention together too

sofa : that's usually when they collaborate with what they have to cover up at least like, 3 of guys worst cuts, and also to fuck around and copy off of ted's homework

shibe : i love that ted is like... a nerdy biker delinquent

shibe : how charming

sofa : YEAH

sofa : ppl are like, hes a bright charming young man, but hes such a trouble maker

sofa : shaking their heads

shibe : FOR HALLOWEEN

shibe : for halloween

shibe : booster dresses in drag and finally finally gets to wear his poodleskirt

shibe : it's the only acceptable time

sofa : YES

sofa : ppl think its a joke and he plays it off as much

shibe : oh for sure

shibe : but inside, he's glowing

shibe michelle plays along and goes as a greaser

sofa : but he keeps shooting these sneaky glances @ ted and ted has to shove him like CMON

shibe : "get it, we're twins, we did a set"

sofa : yesss yes omg

shibe : and at the halloween dance booster finally gets to dance in his poodle skirt

shibe : and he looks amaaaazing

sofa : ted is on fire like. the whole time

sofa : drags booster out back like I NEED TO TALK TO YOU

sofa : (there is 0 actual talking)

shibe : ahahhahhahahha

shibe : yesssss

shibe : it's like, legitimately the best day of booster's life. and that includes the time he made the varsity football team

sofa : yes absolutely

sofa : boosters probably just really glad hes got so much goin for him

sofa : like the varsity team, and a group of people who genuinely like him, and also ted

shibe : and a sister that's really helpful and supportive when she's not teasing him mercilessly

sofa : yes

sofa : auuug h h i just realized booster must have the stupid football jacket too damn it

shibe : ahhahahhahhahahhahahh ayes eysyesyesyesyesyes

sofa : im also thinkin like....... what if...... ted needs glasses... like those really thick ones

sofa : he doesn't wear them unless hes working on something REALLY important but he still def needs them

shibe : ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

shibe : big old coke glasses

shibe : booster reading menus aloud for ted

sofa : yessss omg

sofa : ted also coming over to fix anything that breaks in the carter family house because he knows they cant really afford to hire anybody

shibe : ah oh noooooooooooooo

shibe : booster and michelle working a bunch of jobs to help their mom

sofa : y es omg

sofa : assuming of course teds family is still rich he probably like goes to... any number of their jobs and tips them with like. all his pocket change

sofa : booster keeps telling him not to but he keeps doing it

shibe : booster behind the counter of a soda-jerk place

shibe : and ted's like, yes, i would like to make a special order

shibe : "we don't do substitutions ted. i've told you this. repeatedly"

shibe : not even forrrrrrr twenty bucks??????

shibe : *sides bill over

shibe : ..... i'll go crush up some candy bars and put them in your milkshake. you're the worst

sofa : TED OMG

sofa : hes just there eating it

sofa : completely satisfied with himself

shibe : GOING TO THE DRIVE IN THEATER

sofa : OOHHH BOY

sofa : almost getting kicked out of the drive in theater

sofa : because theyre actually super obnoxious

shibe : tora working as a waitress at a drive in burger place with rollar skates

sofa : yesss yess omg

sofa : i bet tora like

sofa : puts special patches or something on everyones jacket

sofa : just so everyone knows theyre all apart of the gang, together

shibe : oh man of course

shibe : MAYBE TORA

shibe : embroidered the poodle for booster's jacket

shibe : at ted's request

sofa : OHHH YESSSSSSSSS

sofa : the exact moment tora figured out ted was sweet on booster

sofa : one step ahead of the game

shibe : when she gave it to ted, she was like "good luck ted"

shibe : he was like ????? thanks?

sofa : totally went off to gossip abt it with bea and beas just like yessss

sofa : i knew it

shibe : WELL THEY KEEP EXPERIMENTING IN THE BATHROOMS

shibe : it seems obvious in retrospect

-------------------------------------

shibe: do u wanna talk about 50's au

shibe: b/c

shibe: i had a heartbreaking idea

[8/24/2015 9:26:22 PM] couch seat hands: oh my god absolutely yes

shibe: OK SO

shibe: i was thinking about ted going to the dance with michelle

shibe: and i'm like first of all how did she say yes, and was it even his idea

shibe: and i realized like....

shibe: booster got a date with bea first. and then ted was like "well have fun buddy"

shibe: and booster was like NO ur coming too, and ted is like i don't have a date???? and tora's going with guy

shibe:  so BOOSTER was like u need to ask michelle

shibe:  and ted was like hahahha yeah, she'll never say yes in a million years

shibe: and booster's like no, dude trust me

shibe: she'll say yes

shibe: so the next day, he asks michelle and she does say yes??????

shibe: which is awesome but confusing, but really cool

shibe: but then all of the next few weeks leading up to the dance, booster is working tons of extra hours

shibe: and he tells ted it's cool and whatever, but he's looking really really tired and he keeps falling asleep in class b/c he's working late night shifts at the general store

shibe: and long story short, booster's working extra hours so he can pay for michelle to buy a really nice dress and get her hair/makeup done at a salon, which is how he got her to say yes to ted

shibe: and now ted's guilty cuz he's there with michelle and it's not like he imagined it would be at all, but booster worked so hard just so he could go with a girl

sofa: AAAAHHH OH MY GOD

sofa: this KILLS THE MAN

shibe: i'm awful

sofa: u gotta tell me they save a dance for each other

sofa: like 1 at least

shibe: this is the one where they dance back behind the gym so yeah, totally

sofa: OoHHh right

sofa: yesss

shibe: but michelle looks so gorgeous, she is the most beautiful girl there

shibe: and ted still wants booster instead

sofa: aaGGHH

sofa: to be fair the carter twins are probably the most beautiful sibs in school

sofa: but gOD TED

shibe: booster and michelle do a dance together, as siblings, obvs

sofa: yesss

shibe: and then ted's like "can i cut in" and booster's like "oh, sure, ted" and ted's like "... n o can we go talk... outside"

sofa: OHHH

sofa: i am lovin this as a good opportunity to be like so u know how we kissed each other for practice? Well,

sofa: Bc those are the type of scenarios that keep me young

shibe: and michelle followed them and booster's like "NO SHHHhhhhhhhhhhh" and michelle is like

shibe: plz

shibe: we're trwins

shibe: no secrets

shibe: i know all

shibe: just like u know that i'm not a virgin

sofa: DANG MICHELLE

sofa: Michelle and booster are probably like.... the two kids u would least expect to be messing around and generally being delinquents, Bc they look like fuckin hallmark kids and also one of them is a cheerleader and a football star

sofa: but here they are

shibe: they fight tooth and nail for that popularity, hahahha

shibe: michelle with grooming and social ladders, booster with sports and working five different odd jobs

sofa: i imagine any time booster like... fucks up or breaks something at work teds always like I'll cover it don't worry

sofa: cuz obviously he's got the rich kid perks, and spending his money that way pisses off his folks

sofa: booster keeps telling him to cut it out b4 he gets cut off or something

shibe: honestly, i wonder how they started smooching in the first place

shibe: like, given the setting and all

shibe: for the 50's au, i mean

sofa: well i mean i figure it was probably like a "have you ever kissed a girl" "not really.. you?" and they agreed that if they did it strictly for practicing only, at first, it wouldn't be gay

sofa: and then it was

shibe: something like, if it doesn't kiss when you kiss a family member, it doesn't kiss when you kiss a bro

shibe: and also all the anti-homosexual propaganda usually had to do with pedophiles so

shibe: maybe they were just like "well it's nothign like that so"

sofa: ahhh truuu

shibe: oh nooooo

shibe: ted being like "holy shit i'm the worst pervert, NO ONE IS SAFE"

sofa: NOO OMG

sofa: how would booster even sort himself thru it omg

sofa: OR TORA AND BEA FOR THAT MATTER TOO

shibe: i feel like tora and bea get a pass b/c there were totally like

shibe: dime novels about lesbians and shit

shibe: i bet booster would like

shibe: go digging through his history books

shibe: and come back to ted with a long list of non-straight people

shibe: and be like "look, this is so normal, you can still be an awesome inventor when you grow up"

sofa: boOSTER

sofa: GOOOOSH

shibe: but at the same time, being like "if you want to keep this totally under wraps, we can do it. i'm so willing to do that for you"

sofa: i m gonna die holy shit

sofa: ted probably agrees with it because obviously its safer to lie low but hes also totally lousy with guilt

shibe: which is funny, b/c booster doesn't feel bad about it at all?

shibe: he spends tons of time pretending he's not poor as shit

shibe: what's one more charade on the pile

sofa: covers face

sofa: booster gold has fucking. ruined my life

shibe: he's such a sweet kind, innocent, vain asshole

shibe: protect him, universe, just as he protects u

sofa: HONESTLY

sofa: HES FULL OF HIMSELF BUT LIKE.. WHAT ELSE CAN HE DO AT THAT POINT

sofa: pls. what else Does He Have

shibe: ted must have an awful family

shibe: like, a gross dad that wants him to go into business and a sad drugged out housewife ma

sofa: ur probably right

shibe: ted probably lives in a big house

shibe: and booster throws rocks at his window and ted is like I'M ON THE FIRST FLOOR PLZ STOP

sofa: OMG YES

sofa: consistently tries to get ted to sneak out with him in the middle of the night

shibe: he's always getting off work at night and dying to go out for a shake or something

shibe: he's one of those people that gets wired and giddy when they're tired

sofa: absolutely omfg

sofa: those are probably his moments of pranking ingenious

shibe: they put green dye in bea's shampoo

shibe: but then she likes it so much she keeps doing it

shibe: prank failed

sofa: they still try to take credit for it tho later on

sofa: like

sofa: yeah ur welcome

shibe: people giving bea shit for being a "spic" and everyone like JUMPING IN TO FIGHT LIKE HEY

shibe: even tora

shibe: tora straight up pulls a girl's hair out

sofa: OOOHH YES

sofa: tora is very nice, and sweet and polite, but she can be fuckin brutal if need be

sofa: that's why the gang loves her

shibe: they all have polaroids of each other with black eyes and huge grins

sofa: ahhh yes yes yesss omfg

[comicteaparty]

April 8th-April 14th, 2019 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from April 8th, 2019 to April 14th, 2019.  The chat focused on Radio Silence by Vanessa Stefaniuk.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Week Long Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Radio Silence by Vanessa Stefaniuk~! (http://www.radiosilencecomic.com/)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Remember, though, that while we allow constructive criticism, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic. Below you will find four questions to get you started on the discussion. However, a new question will be posted and pinned everyday (between 12:01AM and 6AM PDT), so keep checking back for more! You have until April 14th to tell us all your wonderful thoughts! With that established, let’s get going on the reading and the chatting!

QUESTION 1. What has been your favorite scene in the comic so far? What specifically did you like about it?

QUESTION 2. What do you think happened in Wren’s past to make her the way she is? How does this also tie in to what happened between her and Conibear? Will she ultimately overcome these issues? If so, how do you think it’ll happen?

€heshire777

My favorite so far is Shy's expression when Wren grabbed his arm on the bus.

€heshire777

I don't have the link handy, sorry

€heshire777

Radio Silence should totaly do a jam with noosehead

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. At the moment, who is your favorite character? What about that character earns them this favor?

QUESTION 4. Do you think Matt is hiding something from the group given his video call at one point? If so, what is he hiding, and what’s stopping him from saying anything to the group? What does the person he was talking to have to do with it?

starkfield

1) I love Brent's worry going into overdrive when Colbie and Shy get left behind and the bus is looking for him, worried that even an old lady walking her dog is in desperate need of help...it's such a great character moment as you realize how much he notices/is always mentally juggling

RebelVampire

1) my favorite scene this read through is probably the scene where wren and shy finally talk. i appreciate how natural everything felt, yet at the same time felt like a concentrated efffort on wren's part to finally get shy to talk to her. brent also kind of set up some expectations about whether theyd get along or not, so it was some good immediate payoff to seeing that yup, he right. 2) I think it's pretty clear Wren was an abusive relationship before she met the band. Who with it's hard to say. It could be a boyfriend but given her age id also believe it was her father. But regardless i think for all of wren's confidence that she has a lot of self esteem issues that shes trying to get over and it doesnt help when ppl like conibear are around her reinforcing her worst fears. i think shell overcome them, but i kind of think she needs to get a therapist if she doesnt already have one. which, theyre on the road a lot, so i dont get the impression she does have one.

3) Probably Shy because I find Shy the most relateable. Also I like shy because i kind of feel like he has the most potential for growth. Not to say the other characters arent growing or have issues to deal with, but i feel shy kind of starts on the lowest rung of the ladder. So when he grows and changes, like how he finally learns to talk to Wren, its really noticeable and really satisfying. Like watching your baby grow up. 4) for the life of me i cant fathom what matt is hiding. at first youd assume the obvious: that he wants to go solo. but that doesnt seem likely given other things hes said. and youd also think hed have said something by now if that was the case. though i feel like hes avoiding the subject because he feels like the others, especially colbie, would take it as a betrayal. as for the person he was talking to, who i believe is his cousin, i think shes just involved in the sense that he needed to tell someone. so he told her cause she cant exactly go spilling the beans to the band for him

RebelVampire

QUESTION 5. What has been your favorite illustration in the comic so far? What specifically about it do you like?

QUESTION 6. Given the focus on communication and relationships, what was your favorite moment where the challenge relationships present was on display? Overall, what do you think we can learn about the two from the comic?

RebelVampire

5) I've always really love this top panel with the Brandenburg Gate http://www.radiosilencecomic.com/comic/174 Cause man, there is so much attention to detail in the panel. Not just for the architecture, but all the little activities of the people too. It really feels like a hot tourist spot. Not to mention I love the angle used cause it really gives an impression of granduer and scale. 6) i really liked the recent one between matt and shy where shy was upset matt had treated him like a kid when dealing with samantha. at first i was kind of was more on the other character's page where i didnt really get what shy's deal was considering samantha had been the awful one. but then when shy was forced to communicate his feelings, it just really struck me as an "omg this makes sense." but i somehow feel this reaction i had was 100% what communication and relationships are all about. because sometimes we dont understand how we hurt others, and sometimes we forget that ppl arent mind readers. so for me, it was a moment where communication really was at the heart of it and it showed that without communication, relationships really just dont work that well. which this last sentiment i think is the take away from the entire comic. communication is key, because if we dont make others understand, we cant expect others to just magically know.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 7. Which characters do you enjoy seeing interact the most? What about their dynamic interests you?

QUESTION 8. Why do you think Liz took a chance on the band? What happened between her and Pandora, and how might this come up again given the past history Radio Silence has with the Sirens?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 9. What sorts of art or story details have you noticed in the way the comic is crafted that you think deserves attention?

QUESTION 10. Overall, how do you feel Shy will continue to grow and change over the course of the story? What role do you think Wren will have to play in his future?

RebelVampire

7) im really torn between saying shy and wren or shy and brent. so ill say both. cause i super enjoy watching how shy and wren come to get along even though their personalities are so opposite. like opposite in the way i never know what to expect when theyre interacting, so that makes each interaction exciting. but i also like shy and brent just cause of how mother hen brent is with shy. and honestly, theyre just super adorable when theyre together. 8) I'm going to be boring and say I think Liz took a chance on them for the exact reasons she said: she liked their sound and thought they had potential. though probably not shown i imagine once she met them, she saw their chemistry and charisma and thought "perfect." as for what happened between her and Pandora, i really think it might have had to do with the sirens. Either something before like Liz was supposed to help Pandora and Pandora betrayed her. Or it could be after the Conibear incident and Liz told Pandora to step up and doing something. and Pandora was like "lol nope" and Liz was like "how dare" but i do think pandora will be vindictive and use the sirens to irritate liz. and everyone will be sad

9) one of my variety details i think deserves more attention is how great the comic is at throwing in languages to kind of show everyone's ethnicity and add character to them through that. like how wren and shy both swear in different languages. or wren's extremely heavy accent that's really spot on for what it would sound like. i think it really helps bring the world together and emphasize the setting as well. because youd expect a british rock band to have more opportunities for different languages and stuff like that just due to how connected europe kind of is in general. overall though, just an endearing detail to me. 10) I think Shy still has to grow and stop being so, well, shy. Like even the recent incident with Matt kind of shows that hes n ot the best communicator. and i think thats something well see continue to change and hell voice his opinion and communicate his feelings more and more. and i think wren will definitely help with that cause she is more than willing to remind him ppl cant read his mind and he has to say the things for ppl to know the things.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 11. What do you think are this particular comic’s strengths? What do you think makes this comic unique? Please elaborate.

QUESTION 12. As a band, do you feel that Radio Silence will continue to be successful and grow their popularity? Or, do you feel they will crash and burn? What challenges will the band continue to face in regards to either path?

RebelVampire

QUESTION 13. What are you most looking forward to in the comic? Also, do you have any final thoughts to share overall?

QUESTION 14. What do you think is the story with Colbie and his family? Why do you think Colbie’s dad is trying so hard to contact him? How might this affect Colbie’s place in the band?

RebelVampire

11) I think this comic's strength is realism. Like this feels like an actual band that might exist and how theyd actually go about their actual daily lives. Even between the social media stuff, it just has this really endearing authenticity that helps draw you in to the drama and slice-of-life stuff. 12) I think theyll continue to grow, but i kind of feel that its their personal relationships that are gonna be the biggest obstacle to their growth. Cause I mean you have wren is keeps bottling up her past and no way that isnt going to blow up some day. You got Matt keeping secrets. You got Colbie's family issues. And then I kind of even think there might be issues with Brent cause i think theres gonna come a point where Brent has to pick between family and the band or something like that. And all these are gonna bring about drama and test everyone's dedication to staying cause love of music and fans can only take you so far

RebelVampire

13) i am most looking forward to things about wren getting revealed. cause i feel like the time is drawing near where well at least get an answer or two, and im interested to see what sort of depths this adds for her character. 14) I get the impression that Colbie's mom and dad might have divorced maybe and then she died. or maybe no divorce. i just assume divorce cause it sounded like she had money to give colbie which wouldnt work as smoothly if the mom and dad had shared accounts. granted i guess i also assume death too just from how colbie phrases buying gifts and stuff to matt. as for colbie's dad, well, probably typical rich dad. didnt have time for his son, son goes off to do his own thing, dad is like wait a second get back here. as for why hes trying to contact colbie? I mean i could assume the typical get back home here? but then maybe his dad is just angry cause colbie hasnt called him. and like will suggest colbie comes back out of vengence for colbie cutting him out of his life. i dont think itll have much effect tho outside of everyone else finding it a big deal while colbie doesnt really want to talk about it.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- WEEK LONG BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Radio Silence this week! Please also give a special thank you to Vanessa Stefaniuk for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Radio Silence, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: http://www.radiosilencecomic.com/

Vanessa’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/quietsnooze

Vanessa’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/quietsnooze