#i don’t even fw roller coasters. so imagine

[suppanova]

okay but just think about how terrifying it is to have the ground disappear from your feet and your suddenly falling…

my heart would sink into my ass

[precuredaily]

Precure Day 146

Episode: Futari wa Precure Splash Star 47 - “A Sudden Twist!? Who’s Behind the Curtain?” Date watched: 27 July 2019 Original air date: 14 January 2007 Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/WeK3L86 Project info and master list of posts: http://tinyurl.com/PCDabout

I can see through you, see to the real you

This episode is where things get real and all your expectations for the show are shattered. Akudaikaan is defeated, and in his place..... well, we’ll get to that.

The Plot

Akudaikaan is truly a force to be reckoned with. The combined strength of Cure Bright, Cure Windy, Michiru, and Kaoru has hurt him a tiny amount but really only been enough to anger him. However, his anger is causing Dark Fall itself to fall apart. The girls insist that if he’s going to use his hands to destroy everything, they’ll use their own to protect everything. Back in the Land of Greenery, a storm brews and Minori feels uneasy. Princess Filia recognizes that Akudaikaan’s evil power is spilling into their worlds, and we also see fairies in the various fountains looking unwell.

Bright and Windy try to fell the dark lord with their light and wind attacks but he’s too strong for them, and Michiru and Kaoru have to save them. While this is going on, Moop and Foop want to help but the Kiryuus explain that they don’t want them to get hurt, as they care about them now. The two sprites take the advice but decide to try to take the Fairy Carafe from Gohyaan, who is watching from a distance and doesn’t see them.

Akudaikaan mocks the girls’ efforts to defeat him, reiterating that he will destroy everything and all life should crumble, to which the girls all retaliate that it’s because life is fleeting that it has value. Akudaikaan doesn’t like them contradicting him and he prepares to destroy them with his strongest lightning attack. However, the girls vow to never give up, even when everything seems hopeless, and Bright and Windy perform Spiral Star Splash with Michiru and Kaoru joining in with their beam attack. The two attacks combine to counter the lightning, and they sit at a stalemate until light penetrates Dark Fall and the power of all the spirits, wishing and praying for the Precures to help them, powers them up, and they manage to best Akudaikaan, who falls to the ground. In the confusion, Gohyaan drops the Fairy Carafe and the Wind and Moon spirits grab it.

However, victory is short-lived, as Akudaikaan stands up, angrier than ever, with a giant hole in the middle of his chest, and yells that he will destroy everything: the Land of Fountains, the Land of Greenery, and even Dark Fall. Gohyaan tries to calm him down but he won’t be persuaded, so Gohyaan plays his trump card.

Gohyaan destroys Akudaikaan like it’s nothing, then turns around and reveals to the Precures and Kiryuus that he himself created Akudaikaan to destroy everything, then he was going to take over afterwards.Yes, Gohyaan, the sniveling little imp, is actually the final boss. He transforms into his true form, a muscular dragon-man.

He observes that Dark Fall is going to crumble regardless, so he transports all the combatants to the beach in the Land of Greenery, where he will destroy them and the world in one fell swoop. Thus, the episode ends with them facing off for the true final confrontation....

The Analysis

The reveal that Gohyaan is the true mastermind behind everything took me by surprise when I first watched this. There are very few hints along the way and they were easy to overlook, so I sincerely thought this would be another case where the girls have to fight a giant shadowy abomination like the first two FW shows. But nope, they beat him before the grand finale and the real final boss is Gohyaan, looking like a proper monster this time. I’m still impressed with this reveal, and that it’s been kept a relative secret for all these years. I was actively chatting with people who had already seen it when I first saw this show and they never let on that Akudaikaan wasn’t what he seemed. I don’t see it brought up much in the fandom, either. You would think that after 13 years it would be an open secret, like Darth Vader’s identity, but no, it’s still fairy under wraps. Obviously you can find the information if you go looking, but it hasn’t invaded the public consciousness of the series, which I think is fantastic for new fans who get to be genuinely surprised.

Physically, his transformation from the imp to the demon is really reminiscent of the show’s Dragon Ball connections.

It looks like Frieza or Cell transforming, with aspects of a Super Saiyan transformation thrown in. That kind of semi-grotesque body morphing, the angles, if you told me this was a cut DBZ villain I’d believe you.

So what hints WERE there? A lot of Gohyaan not seeming to care too much about pleasing Akudaikaan, his power level on the rare occasions that he did flex, Akudaikaan’s relative inactivity while Gohyaan did a lot of heavy lifting behind his back, that’s about all I’ve got. The revelation that the fire itself is his life force is, to the best of my recollection, not hinted at prior to this episode, and in fact I’d completely forgotten about it. Those are all the clues I can remember. As a small note, I find it funny and chilling how his demeanor changes after the gig is up. He acts less sniveling and is more straightforward in his speech, no longer referring to Akudaikaan with “-sama”.

The battle with Akudaikaan is intense as he’s brandishing lightning and all four girls are dodging and diving out of the way. We still have time for emotional beats, as Moop and Foop bond with Michiru and Kaoru. The sisters compare their relationship when they first met in the arid Fountain of the Sky to now, and it shows how they’ve managed to all grow closer to each other in a fairly short amount of time since Michiru and Kaoru were revived. I appreciate that they found time for this. Moop and Foop are now essentially partners with the Kiryuus, and that makes the sisters’ exclusion from the meta-franchise that much more damning. I appreciate how the sisters’ concern leads Moop and Foop to try to save them all by stealing the Carafe back from Gohyaan, which is a really clever plan. At the same time, I like how the support of the fairies leads to the sisters supporting the cures at their lowest point. They’re losing hope fast but Michiru and Kaoru remind them how out of character this is for them, and that snaps them out of their funk to reiterate that they will never give up.

I love hearing them all say this together.

The spirits from the various fountains praying and lending their energy is a nice way to bring this show full-circle. We haven’t seen most of these fountains in a long time but it re-iterates their gratefulness for the cures’ help, and what Princess Filia has been saying about strong beliefs turning into miracles.

Once again the animation is not up to par for the finale of a series. It’s better than the previous episode but there’s a lot of shots where the shading is minimal to nonexistent, detail is poor, faces are drawn off-model, and it’s generally of poor quality. Even some of the close-ups, which are usually safe, are spotty.

Imagine how much better this would be with better quality control.

This episode takes you on a roller coaster ride for sure, and I think it be setting up for the highest stakes finale we’ve yet seen. From Akudaikaan overpowering the girls, to them turning it around and defeating him with the help of all the spirits of the Land of Fountains, only for Gohyaan to reveal that Akudaikaan was just a tool he created to do his dirty work and he’s actually vastly more powerful than the entity they just defeated.... I’m on pins and needles, even though I’ve seen this before, and I can’t wait to continue. So look forward to the next one!

Pink Precure Catchphrase Count: 0 Zekkouchou Nari!

[schizo-spoon-blog]

Spoonbender Society: Selected Schizoepistles

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE:

We Live In A Society

People say we live in a democracy/democratic republic, a form of government intended to amplify what people think and address problems they find to be important. But it doesn’t ever seem to function that way.

The issue is in voter suppression, but as always not in the way people generally think voter suppression works. The issue is psychic, spiritual, and social suppression of citizens. Systemic over-development of senses of rationalization, neuroticism and anxiety, industrially incentivized narcissism.

People develop a deathly fear of what others think, or may think, or what they may have thought about them or what they think, what they may think, or what they may have thought.

A democracy where we’d rather not hear what other people have to say, because we find their thoughts offensive and retarded. That’s one thing people are happy to share. But because we suspect that there are so many offensive retards in the world, we fear... "Perhaps I’m a retard too?" You wonder that even for just a second in your life, if you have a soul. It’s OK to be a retard really, but you’ll never believe that it’s OK, and that's probably What Your Fucking Problem Is.

The opinions of us purported non-retards, to avoid sounding like complete retards, end up soft, ambivalent and stale, phrased like True Neutral Orgasm in Ego-Death Nirvana, but less Chad, less gratifying, and nobody cums. To not be reminded of the possibility of our own retardation, we like to pretend that if the retards just shut up and nobody can hear them, they go away. If they are Physically Removed from our presence, their evil thoughts and their malicious intentions will go away with them. We win. But they don’t. They never do.

We always fail to Psychically Remove them. We lose.

We can hypothesize a law of conservation of hatred, correlate one too of love, but the truth is banal. How can it be in light of our timeline? Why are these Hate Groups all over the place? Hitler’s corpse is rotting or burned to a crisp, or embalmed in a tomb or made a toilet for Some Rich Dude ((parenthetical removed)). (Or was he cloned?)

Great Fatherland Germany - defeated by the "untermensch" and partitioned like a cheese between rats. That Great "Faustian" and "Supreme" "Aryan" Race is subjugated by the hated "Juden" and all the "vermin" of the world, humiliated, castrated to be reunited a shadow of its former self. Yet the Nazi threat is omnipresent nearly a century later, in an era which may be an alien planet to those who lived in Hitler’s time.

How is it that the Great Allies, our fathers and grandfathers, achieved such total victory over so loathsome a foe, so unsympathetic and vile, only to see his Evil infect their own countrymen and posterity? How can something so thoroughly defeated still persist in what could be our neighbors or our co-workers our bosses or our employees? Each one could be a secret Nazi now. In parenting blogs moms worry that their children are becoming Nazis from goofy men they see in videos on line. Marriages are ending in divorce because the husband or wife is allegedly or apparently a Nazi. How could this happen?

Have you ever seen “The Matrix? Who hasn’t? You know all about the red and blue pills, and all the rainbow-flag DLC that it comes with, black and pink and green and brown and in configurations invisible to the human eye, I’m sure. If you don't know, the pills are portals to different realities. Take the black pill and you only see death, take the white pill and everything’s alright, take the blue pill you vote for Hillary, take the pink you become genderqueer. But this is not about taking any pills. This is about going off your meds. Going straight edge - except for whiskey, cigarettes, cocaine and pussy. It’s about the spoon - no, not for shooting up. It's for bending - with your mind. Remember? That spoon - The Spoon That Isn’t There.

That spoon is a Nazi.

If you are aware that there is no spoon you can tie it into knots. You can make it into a balloon animal. That Nazi Spoon could be a Jewish Socialist from Vermont, or a kosher Brooklyn Zionist, or a Dominican Taxi Driver. It could be an evil copy of your own son from Bizzaro World. It's probably your uncle. It could be Rottweilers, and Chihuahuas. Whether Pitbulls are Nazis or Jews/Blacks is an ongoing debate in the contemporary discourse.

But imaginary shit can be whatever the hell you want. You don’t have to be "The One" to Bend the Spoon. You don’t have to be anyone at all. What was the name of the kid who said the line about the spoon again? Nobody knows, nobody cares, and that's the beauty of Spoonbending.

"The Nazi" is the guy who keeps talking when he should shut up. He might be autistic, but he could just be an asshole. There is a strong possibility he could be both. Why does he keep saying all of this ridiculous stuff? He’s more offensive and more retarded than the usual, but it feels like He Has To Be This Way. Like it’s his curse, He Knows Too Much. He fell down some rabbit hole and ended up gorged on Fascist Propaganda. He mentions some girl named Celine. He rambles on about some guy you’re pretty sure is a Tekken character... the guy who turns into the Devil maybe. He mentions a vacation in Turkey with his family but insists on saying Constantinople and there’s a wild-man tear in his eye. He insists he knows about Atlantis and calls you gay for saying you liked Aquaman. Instead of saying goodbye he says “Subscribe to Pewdiepie.” The Nazi belongs in an institution. You wonder if he has guns and if maybe he should have them taken for a while. He probably doesn’t, but you can’t be sure. He’s 12.

When is it too early to become a school shooter? Is 12 too early to be an incel?

12 is probably the age at which incels hatch from their human hosts.

“Who is Pewdiepie, and how has he groomed my nephew into the Hitler Youth?” many families today are asking. They think they’re looking at a spoon. Conditoning fills your heart with a desperate desire to see the spoon. A fact, pure fact, logical, reasonable, peer reviewed, widely accepted, So True, a Textbook Fact. The spoon. Everyone else sees it too. That goddamn Nazi Spoon.

You ever try to ask this at a party as an ice-breaker and see how the guests react?

“So, anyway, was The Holocaust Real?”

“Excuse me, what?”

“What do you think, was it real, how many people do you think died, don’t the gas chambers sound goofy to you?”

”Um… no… they don’t sound goofy. What are you talking about?”

“You ever hear about the Nazi Roller-coaster they had at one of the camps? They’d put Jews into a roller-coaster except they’d fly off the edge and get splattered. That’s how the Nazis killed ‘em. I swear. I read it in a book by a Holocaust Survivor. Impossible to believe if it weren’t so True. No shit. You hear about that?”

”I’m… gonna get another beer.”

Of course there’s a Correct answer to that initial question. It’s also the Right answer. Who would ever get this wrong? It's the 2+2=X of History. Well…

Pop-Quiz, Random Nazi Check, Anybody here Hate Jews? You a Groyper, Son? What’s so funny? You think the Cookie Monster committing genocide is a laughing matter boy? We don’t take kindly to your kind around here.

Maybe you should give the Nazi-check thing a try, it’ll separate sheep and goat real easy for you.

If you do this everyone will think you are The Nazi.

The Nazis hated Jews, but did they hate real Jews as Jews exist, or did they hate the Fascist Propaganda Jew who was a work of fiction? On that note, were you in love with your last failed relationship, or just pretending you were? Have you ever had one impression of a person, but then learned they were another kind of person entirely? That first impression you had, the one that wasn’t True, was that a Real Person, or Imaginary? But you still spent all that money and sweat on an imaginary girl, huh?

Hope her hole was real.

I think that fake bitch of an ex you dated was a nazi. Your ex was a fascist. Oh, was she Jewish? It doesn’t matter, changes nothing. I’ve never met her - wouldn't matter if I did. When I imagine her, she's in Hugo Boss black and got skull-and-bones on her officer's cap, and she's saying racial slurs as she ruins your life, cheats on you, drains your bank account and kills your dog after getting custody over it in court. I imagine all bad people this way. All women who rejected me were exactly like this.

But I must breach working-class anti-fascist solidarity, and admit, on That Question ("Would you?").... Yeah, I would. Sorry bro. Take me away Comrades, I admit it, I'd give it to that Nazi Jew raw. Would I do that to her as she exists, or the Fascist Propaganda her who is a work of fiction?

That depends. You still got her number?

haha it's ok you can call me an incel, it's a step up from what i actually am

(User was banned for this post.)

The Nazi and the Fascist aren’t my hallucinations. That’s not my mental illness. But it’s adjacent to me, it’s thrown at me without my Consent, and it's a Trigger. I'm paranoid about commies myself.

In the multicultural cyberpunk year of 2019, with its trans-human gender-sex-orientations, anti-racist ethno-narcissism, fanatic anti-normalism, cultish critical theory intersections, grand byzantine minimalism, placidity, in such splendid predatory banality… In the absolute state of the world! – Aah! An undead ideology conceived by a salty Frenchman in the badlands of South Dakota in the 1890s shambles forth the devour all that is Good and Holy in the Great United States of AmeriKKKa, God Help Us All! And A Child Will Lead Those Dreadful Legions of Corruption Upon All The Meek Of Our Fallen World!

Or it’s just a spoon that isn’t real.

Nobody wants to be straight-forward, and I gotta navigate the labyrinths of euphemism. Maybe there's something weird going on - how people talk, how people act, how people think, none of those correlate to each other. It makes you feel schizo when you do all your mental rain-man calculus and realize there's a fucking Elephant in the living room and he's not wearing any goddamn pants. Once that little ray-of-sunshine blesses your tiny bug-man brain to enlighten you that the elephant is real, and the spoon isn't, it's only a matter of time before you're crowned in tinfoil a Potato King on your off-grid Bug-out estate in the Idaho Panhandle, or start drinking yourself to death and bullying mailmen (or both).

If you'd like to avoid that sort of Elephant-Mania Spoon-denialism, maybe you should try answering Uncomfortable Question instead of being so Weird about it, oh wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you’re freaking out the hoes.

Try Praeger U talking points out on a Tinder date and watch her shrivel up from instathot to instahag -- she will go through menopause before your very eyes, that's how dry her pussy will get. Trying not to sound racist while talking about the Antarctic Nazi base and the importance of craniometry in ethnocultural anthropology will get you more action than anything that sounds like a paraphrase of Charlie Kirk -- because even if you're still being cringe at least you aren't being fake. Point and laugh at that fucking elephant - the moron isn't even wearing pants! That'll get her thinking about taking your pants off. Or not - it's not foolproof. If she doesn't laugh, red-flag, she's a Nazi so Begone Thot!

Please, for the love of God, go off-script! See the damn elephant and forget the spoon, and forget the wise Mr. Kirk, Mr. Shapiro, Mr. Talking-Head, Mr. Important-Guy, Mr. Movement, Mr. Politics, Mr. Voice of Reason, Mr. Metatron. Take it from a schizo-maniac with a manifesto, you'll go insane if you don't.

[. . . ] [T]hen there's that neuroticism, that narcissism, that fear. The whole point of these politics groups and gatherings and Q&As is what, anyway? Is it really just basic marketing tactics, like a live-action advertisement you expect for people to passively consume as though it is persuasive? To shove free-markets and free-speeches down my throat and have me swallow it without having anything that’s been bothering me answered? What do I look like to you, an Ideology Whore? You don't even reciprocate a good time, huh? I'm not that kind of girl. You didn't even buy me dinner. You made me pay to bore me. I'd cuck you if we dated just to make a very important point -- fully aware it'll go over your head. Fuck you.

We gotta hear The Script. We gotta recite The Script.

Real Conservatives Think Like This. Real Progressives Think Like This. White People Walk Like This. Black People Walk Like This.

Gotta hear that joke ten thousand times so you can recite it like a mantra in your sleep.

Free markets mean free people. Facts don’t care about your feelings. Private Companies can do what they wish. What you do in your bedroom is your own business. We want legal immigration, not illegal.

Abolish ICE. Your childhood hero says Trans-Rights. Do you not want me in the movement? Abolish whiteness.

The Racism of Lowered Expectations.

Reparations.

A white nation.

Workers of the world unite!

Abortion is a human right.

Have you got it memorized?

Let’s go over it a few more times.

Say it with me! Hillary was found innocent in a hundred hearings and it is sexist to besmirch her reputation.

Repeat after me! Trump’s economy is the best in history, and if he's racist why is black unemployment is at historical lows.

You benefit from unearned privilege. You suffer from toxic masculinity.

The world is about to end and everything you know and love will die, and it is your fault, for not believing in the correct things at the correct time.

Are you laughing yet?

I’m dying. I feel like an e-girl, and my orbiters are sides.

But do you wanna know what I really think? The whole bit about psychic and social suppression? You ever hear about the Procrustean bed? Well, what if we put your political, social, moral consciousness and your psychic abilitys into a bed like that. We could talk about it. You ever play Xenogears?

Or you could just put me in a box. I really wouldn't mind. I'm Houdini. Hey, was Houdini a Nazi, like Henry Ford? Can we get a fact-check? I didn't mean to be problematic.

Break the Conditoning - Step outside the box, and use it as a step ladder. Ascend, Beyond the Box - use The Spoon.

Bush did 9/11, the Israeli’s danced, the Aliens killed JFK - sure - but I only say this because of my MK Ultra Schizo-brain. It’s true, it’s false, it’s fact, it’s myth, I don’t have to believe any of it -- I also don't have to believe any of you if I don’t want to. My feelings do not care about your facts, and did you know that some of the world's most uncomfortable facts are manifested into being by uncomfortable feelings? Is it the fact of the bullet that kills the political dissident, or the feelings of his executioner? Is it the deranged lust of the rapist that violates his victim, or the fact of his power to do so? I guess it depends on whether the perpetrator said "nothing personnel kid" before he committed the act. I don't know about that Nazi Rapist's feelings, but MY feelings are valid and I can believe or disbelieve whatever I want on the basis of my feelings, and my feelings alone. My feelings bend the spoon of your facts.

Are you going to say I don’t have the right, Adolf? Sucks for you, bud, I may be a commie by blood, but the heart that pumps it was assembled in the ole USA -- and we got the Right to be a Retard here in America. It's a Free Country.

[Note: please insert image of Jonathan Frakes from Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction]

Now that the dust has settled: Was the Nazi Roller-Coaster Real? Or did we put the Truth in a Mass-Grave? We will let you know at the conclusion of our program.

Sincerely and Full of Suffering Your Friend Always, Orcbrand