#i do want to fall asleep rn tho so uhhhh

[6kate1bishop6]

got my essay down to exactly 2000 words peace and love on planet earth

[mentos-or-mentoes]

Helluva Boss x Insomniac! Reader. Headcanons

With: Asmodeus, Fizzarolli, Stolas and Loona

Asmodeus

Asmodeus runs a nightclub type establishment. (Or atleast i think thats what Ozzies is). So he's used to being up late.

He does take note of you, always seeming to be awake, no matter the time.

Doesn't really do much, because as long as nothing really seems to be wrong he won't want to bother you about it.

Is kinda sad he doesn't get to sleep with you as much tho (In the cuddly kind not the sexual kind).

One day decides to ask you about it, mainly from curiosity.

When you tell him that you're an insomniac he kinda gets surprised.

But after thinking about it he does kinda think he should have realized earlier.

Will try to stay up with you on the nights where he doesn't have to do much the next day (Which is rarely).

Fizzarolli

Fizz has alot of energy some times, and on thoose days he does have difficulty sleeping.

Usually just rubs one out or has some ''fun time'' with you, or just alone.

He does however notice that on the same nights he can't sleep, neither can you.

When you do tell him that you're an insomniac (if he didn't already put 2 and 2 together). He'll likely ask something along the lines of, ''So whats keepin' ya up babes?''

Will cuddle with you if you'd prefer to do that in order to try and fall asleep.

Might suggest some medication for falling asleep. Or try and get drunk as hell with you.

Sometimes will wrap his arms around you if he feels like you've been getting too little sleep.

Loona

She has a habit of falling asleep at I.M.P when having nothing else to do, or sometimes when she just feels like it.

Is probably the quickest to notice your lack of sleeping.

She will likely ask you about it because its keeping her up at night.

When you tell her about you either really struggeling with getting sleep or just not being able to sleep at all, she gets uhhhh, a bit confused.

Like how can you NOT fall asleep at that boring office, or in a comfortable bed?

Will rarely pick you up so she can lay with you while she sleeps, and hopefully have you fall asleep as well.

She once tried to play some music and stuff to try and see if that helped.

She to awoke to some shitty song and her phone reccomending more of said shitty songs.

Just kinda accepts that you don't fall asleep nowadays.

Not like its gonna prevent her from sleeping either.

Stolas

Stolas has a giant comfy bed, so why he finds you awake at 3 am in the kitchen just doing whatever, is something thats on his mind.

Will ask you about it being concerned that you might be having nightmares or something keeping you awake.

If you do tell him about your insomnia, he will be a bit relieved that you aren't awakening from nightmares.

Allthough he might be wondering if something is keeping you up unless you clarify that to him.

Will try to use spells to see if that helps you, if you want to try it out.

if not then cuddles will do.

He LOVES cuddles.

If you cant sleep then can you atleast cuddle untill he falls asleep? He would like it if you did.

Stolas will try anything and everything to help you sleep, if you wanna go to sleep that is.

If not then he'll be content once he realizes that you'll always be there, if he has a nightmare or just wants a lil kiss.

(Sorry for if you guys wanted a different character but im not trying to spend eternity writing for every character i can think of rn. Also sorry if they arent too accurate, i will accept any criticism and try to improve).

Requests are open. So ask if you want

[ritualslaughter]

hehe “tagged” by @tokoyammi <3

name/nickname: bones, boner, bee

gender: nonbinary (they/them)

star sign: pisces

height: 5′2 (157cm)

time: as of rn it’s 16:02

birthday: march 11

favourite bands/groups: twice, bts, mcr, dry the river - I don't really listen to a lot of groups outside of kpop lmfaooo

favourite solo artists: hozier, phoebe bridgers, ben howard, doja cat, taylor swift

song stuck in my head: baby teeth - flower face

last movie: star trek (2009)

last show: star trek tos - I was feeling nostalgic hehe

when did I create this blog: like... a month ago i think? but i’ve been on and off tumblr since 2012

what do I post: anime, mostly bnha, along with a lot of writing stuff

last thing I googled: "pale moth" I was looking for reference for some tomura art I'm doing lmfao

other blogs: nah not atm

do I get asks: sometimes!! I always want more tho hehe

why I chose my url: my friend ember said they thought bakugou just needed a dyke in his life and I’m here to be that for him

following: 124

followers: 79

average hours of sleep: typically around 5-6? I have a terrible sleeping schedule and get anxious falling asleep so it tends to be less than what I need lmao

lucky numbers: 7, 13, 21

instruments: piano, guitar, singing, ukulele, a little bit of drums

what I’m wearing: a green sweater my granny knitted for me, black jeans, and one sock lmfaoooo

my dream job: tattoo artist, concept artist, or bog witch

dream trip: hmm many many places but to list a few - greece, germany, japan

favourite food: indian curry mmm

nationality: canadian/scottish

favourite song: of all time?? shit uh probably weights & measures by dry the river. or bones by ben howard hehe

last book I read: the beekeeper of aleppo by christy lefteri

top three fictional universes: oh god uhhhh star trek for sure, I love the mistborn series, so maybe that universe? and hmmm... maybe the forgotten realms cause I love dnd hehe

tagging anyone who sees this!!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #245

“i fell asleep at the wheel again, crashed my car just to feel again.”

What is your favorite condiment to go with french fries? Ketchup. What do you have a habit of doing when engaging in a conversation with someone? Obsess over the appropriate amount of eye contact I make. What color is your mp3? Hot pink. Have you ever laid in a hammock? Yeup. Is there a song or lyrics currently super-glued in your head? "Popular Monster" by Falling In Reverse FUCK What can you go a day without doing? Uhhh a lot? I dunno... oh, drink water because I suck at that gah. I've gotten a lot better than I used to be tho. What can’t you go a day without doing? Touching some form of technology. Who do you spend most of your time with? Myself. Do you have a favorite classical composer? No. What type of quality is a must-have in a friend? Treat others with kindness. Are you any good at reading someone's body language? I definitely think so. What type of art would you hang up in your room? Lol I have some of my own... but let's say it was a clean slate again. I'd put some macabre/gothic art of some sort up, probably. Of COURSE with meerkats making an appearance. What fruit is too sweet to you? Hm, I'm blanking. What was the last contest you have ever won: Uhhhh... I think the giveaway of two Silent Hill: Revelation things? That was forever ago. What was the worst hair cut you have ever had in your entire life: Looking back, the haircut I had before this one (short on the left, faded into still rather long on the right) I don't really like anymore. Looks fine in some pictures, but not most. What was the worst thing you have ever worn in your life: Oh I don't know. Probably some dance costume. Do you like any sort of animes: Yeah, a handful. I'd honestly like to watch more. Have you ever used someone for your own benefits: I don't think so. What is the worst cartoon you have ever seen: Oh boy, idk. There's some dumb ones, a lot that I've only seen peeks of. Do you like to type or write more: TYPE. Writing physically can easily make my carpal tunnel act up. I hated having to hand-write a few essays last semester... I had to stop frequently to roll my wrists and cringe and stuff. What color would you have your skin if you could change it: I'd like pale skin like I have, but I wish it was more flawless/porcelain-ish. SOOOOOO pretty ahahhhhhhhhahhhhhh Do you usually cook your own meals, or does someone cook for you: I usually have to throw something together in the microwave because Mom's barely home, but when she is home, she cooks. If someone cooks for you, do you always thank them for it: YES. YES. NOT SAYING ANYTHING IS SO FUCKING DISRESPECTFUL. What do you do during the day: Almost without question, SOMEthing on technology/usually computer. As for what I do on technology, boy, a lot a lot. I don't even feel like listing it all. When you are online what do you normally find yourself doing: ... Oh, lmao. Uhhh binging YouTube, writing on or just checking up on KM, dA browsing/cleaning my drowning inbox, Facebook, "working" at the SH and SotC wikis, playing games, roaming Tumblr, check my emails, uhhhhhhh,,,, What is the most hated item you own: I wouldn't... keep it if I hated it? Uhhhh yeah, I honestly don't know. What is your favorite item you own out of all the items you have: My iPod, really. I have over 1k songs on this old-ass nano that I've had since middle school. I guess my laptop is kinda tied, but idk. Like, I don't love this laptop itself, just that it allows me to go online at a decent speed lmao. I guess they're my favorites in different ways. So, do you think that you will get where you want in life currently: Not stopping pushing for it 'til I get it. Why is that so. May I ask: I'm "too" determined. It's been a struggle getting to even where I am, but FUCK, I'm getting there. Do you like Halloween: I can't fwu if you don't. Has a teacher ever flirted with you? Not to my recollection. Is it okay for friends to kiss each other, as friends? Personally, I think a simple peck is fine IF that's your thing and it's mutually understood that it's platonic. Ex., I know greeting kisses are normal in some cultures, and I see no reason to shame it so long you're not like making out. Is it okay for girls to hit boys? Fuck no. Unless you're like fighting off an assailant/defending yourself, NO gender hits ANYONE. Do you know a lot of attractive boys personally? I've never thought about it? I'm not gonna dig through all the people I know rn... What happens if you realized you had a crush on somebody? More than anything, I'd be scared of being hurt again, particularly if it's a guy. So I definitely wouldn't make the first move. Do you think you are attractive? No. Which two of your friends would have the cutest baby together? I don't know. How do you feel about your naked body? DON'T COME AT ME WITH THIS QUESTION GO AWAY Have you ever been called obnoxious? No. At least, not to my memory. Do you wish you had a bigger family? No, but a more close-knit one. Which friend would you kiss full on the mouth, no questions asked? Sara. If somebody smacks your butt, you automatically say: I wouldn't say shit, I'd turn around and smack them across the face. How often does your family life conflict with your social life? Pretty much never. Have you ever been emotionally abused? No, thankfully. Do small children like you? They seem to, I guess. If karma is really true, should you be worried? Not very. What makeup do you wear on a daily basis? None. Do you have anything hidden in your room? Yeah, some saved money. What do you wish you were doing right now instead of this? It'd be great to talk to Sara. If you had a baby, would you want to have it at home or in a hospital? Oh I'm going to the fucking hospital for that epidural fren. If I even wanted kids. What was the last thing you ordered online? Uhhh good question. Have you ever had a bad experience with anti-depressants? If so, what? Well, actually the entire time I was ON anti-depressants. Because I'm bipolar, anti-depressants actually ramp up the aggression of bipolarity symptoms. How, I don't recall the science of, but I trust every word that comes out of my psychiatrist's mouth for many reasons. That definitely happened. One also made me gain weight, and the worst instance was in middle school when I was briefly on one that made me SO fucking hyper and happy in the morning but I crashed into an absolute bitchy monster by mid-afternoon. Now a combination of mood stabilizers helps both my bipolarity and depression immensely and are the main reason I'm alive. Are you allergic to any plants? I mean, I'm allergic to pollen. Are you an outdoors person? If the weather is cool, I love it. Does your past bother you? Some parts of it. Do you take risks or play it safe? I tend to play it safe. What forms of art do you like the best? This is an absolutely impossible question. "Art" has such an incredible range of forms, and I enjoy like... all. I guess the one thing I don't particularly care for is abstract art. What forms of art do you want to try? HYPERREALISM IN DRAWING. I REALLY wanna be able to draw/paint/whatever and make it look so true to life, BUT I'd like to add fantasy aspects to what I'm making (for example, my characters). I'd love to do portraits, too. This isn't really a "type" of art, but one thing I desperately want in art is to actually develop my own recognizable style that isn't just a wobbly attempt at realism with shitty proportions. What’s your favorite planet? Saturn's dope. Has a medication ever made you itch? No. What’s your favorite rainy day activity? Cuddle with snacks and like binge a good TV show/YT videos, etc. BUT considering I'm single I'ma just take a nap if I'm actually tired and you can hear the rain on the window. Do you put creamer in your tea? I wonder how many times I'll tell surveys I hate tea lmao by the end of my life lmao. What do you think are some good names for twins? I don't care enough to think about this. What are three things that fascinate you? Animal behavior (particularly social), the paranormal, and genetics. Would you say you live more in the past, present, or future? Present, I think. Have you ever been a victim of a crime? Not me personally, no, but my family. We had our basketball hoop stolen from our front yard and I was mega tilted yo. Does injustice make you angry? More like it infuriates me. Do you have the bad habit of procrastinating? Very badly. Are you afraid of running into a certain person in public? I both am and am not afraid of running into Jason. I have a very strong feeling I'd start having a PTSD episode (by that I mean hyperventilating, crying a bit, and shaking at the very least), but simultaneously I just want him to know I'm sorry. Do you have anyone you avoid? No. Do you have the same dreams now that you did as a kid? No. Who’s your crush? I don't really know if I have one right now. My old friend Ian and I started talking, and he's a fucking hilarious dude with similar ethics to mine with great compassion, but I still don't know him well enough to say I like-like him. I'm honestly just happy to have an irl friend again that actually talks to me regularly. Do you trust the government? I believe in WAY too many conspiracy theories to even try to convince anyone I trust the government lmao. Who do you want to meet in Heaven? I don't know exactly what sort of afterlife I believe in (it's not the traditional Heaven though), but I do believe that souls can reunite. The first thing I want to see again is Teddy. Does your school take sports too seriously? Considering we're well-respected in the sports field to the degree we draw in a huge number of foreign athletes, guess you could say yes lmao. Most of the people I even slightly know here came for sports. If there are bruises on your body, how did you get them? There aren’t. Would you ever go back in time to do something over again, but differently? Yes. Where did you kiss the last person you kissed? The airport. Have you thought about your wedding in detail? Not great detail, no. Do you think you could ever really kill someone? In self-defense, I know I could. Do you like Papa John’s pizza? I couldn't even guess the last time I had it. I don't remember. Do you attend school? Yeah. Do you call it a crush, or do you just say you like someone? The latter. Where were you when the ball dropped? In my bed asleep lmao. Where are your siblings? Probably all at work. Waffles, pancakes, or french toast? French toast. Do you ever judge people based on if they believe in God or not? Not really, but I WILL wonder to myself if you believe in some of the bullshit just about every religion has somewhere. Are you sometimes scared to express your opinions in fear of what others might think? YUP YUP YUP! Mainly irl tho. Have you ever painted your nails on only one hand, forgetting about the other one or getting side-tracked? No. Have you ever gone to one of those parties where everyone is falling around drunk everywhere? No. Been to one where everyone was high, though. Are you “the good guy”, or “the bad guy”, or somewhere in between? I'd hope the good guy. Do you ever erase the numbers off of surveys just because they annoy you? Ha ha yeah. Do you think you will have the same best friend a year from now? Yes. Do you have siblings over the age of twenty-one? Yes, all but one. What do you hear right now? "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Proud as fuck because this song was a MASSIVE PTSD trigger at first and even made me cry, but despite it still making me kinda uncomfortable, I can listen to and enjoy it now. If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? The only three people whose opinions would matter there would be Sara, Girt, and Jason. Sara and Jason would fucking break me, while I think Girt would of course make me cry, but I just. Wouldn't be surprised to lose another irl friend. I'd be so fucking hurt by any. OH YEAH, what would I say? I think Sara would have me speechless. I'd probably just choke out, "I don't blame you," to Jason. Girt, my first instinct pondering this was "are you serious?" because he's such a joker while my stomach dropped. What would you do if you found out your most recent ex was in a relationship? I'd be happy for her, but still feel kinda sad that it wasn't me. What do you think when someone kisses you on your forehead? If I like the person, I feel very comforted. It like... makes me feel small, safe, and permitted to just let my emotions loose, ex. be "allowed" to cry. What do you usually do right when you wake up? Check my phone to see the time. Truthfully, is there someone you used to date that you miss? I don't want to answer this. Do the math. Have you ever gotten burnt by a cigarette? No. Do you brush your teeth right away when you wake up? No. Have you ever made someone laugh when they were crying? Yeah. Would you date someone three years older than you? Yeah. Do you prefer to shower at night or in the morning? Actually as of recently, the morning. It's a nice way to start the day clean and energized. Could you handle living with the last person you texted? I'd love to live with her. Was the last book you read for fun, or was it for some type of assignment? It was assigned, but I loved it. Have you accomplished any goals you set for yourself this year so far? Not really? Well no, I think I'm being a less procrastinating student and also not fleeing so quickly from situations that invoke my anxiety. Are there still movie rental stores where you live or have they all gone out of business? SOBS Blockbuster come BACK we NEED u. What was the last thing to annoy you or make you upset? Eh, it was stupid and something that realistically isn't worth being annoyed by. I was SUPER bored and tired yesterday waiting for Mom to finish her field work while I waited in the library after classes, and I was so ready to go home, but she stayed longer than she thought she would. Do you think you would be a good match for your celebrity crush/es assuming you have one? Why? If you don’t have one, who was the last person you saw that you found attractive? Actually, not really. He's way too motivated and drawn to people who push forward and get shit done, and just in general at least from how I "know" him as a fan I could only realistically see us as friends. But a fangirl can dream ok just let me dream. When looking for something to watch on TV do you tend to pick shows you know you like, or try new shows that look interesting even though you’ve never heard of them before? I'll answer hypothetically if I watched TV: probably something I know I like. Might get adventurous every now and again and try something new, though, especially if it's on a channel I like. How old were you when you had your wisdom teeth removed? I haven't had to. I juuuuust slightly have enough room where I DID have them grow in. Where was the last job application you filled out sent to? Uhhh probably the deli, which I got and lasted for two hours my first work day lmao. Have you ever been fired from a job? No. What do people tell you your voice sounds like? I dunno, kinda deep for a girl and lacking an accent most of the time. What financial class are you? Lower. What poster is hanging closest to you? A huge Nightmare Before Christmas one. Are you more comfortable with men or women? Women. Would you go on a date with someone right now if they asked? Maybe if Ian did? Idk. It'd be a nice way to get to know more about each other, but I'd only agree to it after we talked a bit longer. Does your family keep tons of leftovers in the fridge? Not "a ton." Things we'll eat again though, yes. Favorite FRIENDS character? That is, if you like it. I haven't watched it. Are you thinking of getting another piercing? Where? Hell yes. Pretty sure next is collarbones if I could just lose a little bit more weight so they're more visible. Do you love when people remember little things about you? YES OMG!!!!!!!!!! Do you ‘bless’ strangers when they sneeze? Yes, I just think it's common good manner. Even though the reasoning behind it is whatever, it's a societal thing that I just go along with. How many phones have you gone through? Idk, not too many. Have you always lived in the house you currently reside in? No.

[sizzleitupwithmaria]

the challenge is on, foolish mortal

1. how tall are you?

5 feet 7 inches

2. what is your body type?

i’m shaped like an hourglass but i’m also a lil chubby

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

i occasionally like my face and this is a little bit weird but i have pretty good tits

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

yep!

5. are you more outgoing or more shy

dude i’m shy af

6. are you more femme or butch?

i’m a pretty solid futch

7. are you tol or smol?

i’m tol bitch!!

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

i feel like i’m a vodka aunt, but i’m also 14 and don’t commit crimes

9. weird habit?

i stick my tongue out whenever i’m super focused and i used to be really self conscious about it

10. favorite meme?

my current favorite is the shen yun memes but i don’t have an all time favorite

11. do you sing in the shower?

no bc the bathroom is right next to my parent’s bedroom :):):)

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

yeah i was in girl scouts for a while

13. are you/were you a theater kid?

see basically all of my vent posts and you’ll find the answer (i’m in a weird relationship with theater right now, but we’ll have to see how sophomore year turns out)

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

yeah!! i’m also seeing another one in 112 days lol

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

some are, but that doesn’t make them bad

16. have you ever been part of a protest or a march?

yeah, i went to march for our lives last year!!

17. favorite cards against humanity card?

i don’t actually own or play CAH, but i like “Bees.”

18. last movie you watched?

newsies, but that was only to grab screenshots lol (maura will know)

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

both!!

20. favorite tv show?

uhhhhh frasier? 

21. meaning behind your url

sizzle it up with taako is a taz reference

22. reason you joined tumblr

i have no fucking idea bc it was so long ago

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

i’d say @baura-bear but i’ve also known her irl for 8 years? i don’t actually have any purely tumblr friends, feel free to hmu

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

most foods

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

considering that i had to look up what that meant, the answer is no

26. have you ever had sex?

i’m 14

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or anything bad?

nope, i lead a pretty boring life (i’d actually sneak out quite often if my bedroom wasn’t on the second floor)

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

i’ve told my dad that i love him before

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

i’m currently at a crossroads with it and it’s pretty stressful for me rn but i’m committed to getting better and not crying daily over it

30. describe your best friend

i don’t actually think i have a solid enough relationship with anyone to have a best friend lol

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows

OH UHHHH i pop my acne?? that might be obvious if you look at my face tho

32. how do you feel right now?

pretty solid, i have a little bit of a headache and i’m a bit sad but i’m doing okay

33. what is your biggest fear?

failure, but that’s probably just bc i set so high expectations for myself lol

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

breakfast in america by supertramp

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

maybe quitting band and strings in 5th grade or quitting track

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

OH YEAH but we’re not gonna talk about that right now

37. something you fantasize about

i always dream of living in a tiny nyc apartment with a beautiful wife and working at some nondescript company and shopping in my free time

38. last time you cried and why

??? i actually don’t know. i nearly cried last night bc my dad was nearly yelling at me, we’re not gonna get into that though

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

i put a stupid snapchat filter on my face

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

yeah

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking about anything with?

my own self?? i have trust issues lol

42. the last time you felt broken?

maybe this morning just bc i had a weird dream and was processing it lol

43. are you starting to realize anything?

yeah

44. are you more dom or sub?

sub, but just in general, i haven’t ever had sex

45. i’ll only date you if _____

you’re a woman? i don’t have many standards lol

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

okay this question is probably geared more towards adults but as a freshman, i’m fine with dating sophomores and juniors, and maybe 8th graders?? that’s a little iffy though

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail

ummm i’m not sure if it’s a crush anymore but she’s tall, skinny, had black hair that she dyes often but it never shows, she dresses similar to me, she’s a photographer, and i think she might be into me :/

48. do you have any kinks?

yes but i’ll never tell anybody even if they paid me money

49. first thing you notice in a person?

uhhh their outfit?

50. how can someone win your heart?

by loving me a lot and dealing with my weird personality

51. been rejected by a crush?

i’ve only asked a crush out once and that went pretty well so no

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

yes, who hasn’t?

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

nope

54. is trust a big issue for you?

is the sky blue?

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

nope, we’ve been meaning to for a while though

56. is confidence cute?

sometimes, just don’t be weird to other people

57. what would you say if the person you like kissed another person?

i wouldn’t care LMAO

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

probably not

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

maybe?? my interactions with her have been a blur lmao

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

oh yeah

61. do you want to get married?

yes, but purely to flex the fact that i can get gay married

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

idk probably self harmed

63. three things that turn you on

1. women

2. women

3. women

64. who do you hate?

nobody, really

65. favorite term of endearment?

sweetheart/love GET ME EVERY SINGLE TIME!!! if i ever write some romance y’all will see

66. who was your gay awakening?

idk if you count this as a gay awakening but once when i was like four i said to my dad “if i could marry anyone, i’d marry sarah” (one of my friends) (holy shit i just got kind of sad remembering her i liked her a lot and she had a cool family i need to see if she has an ig)

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

both at the same time

68. what do you look for in a possible partner

women

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

tbh the only styles that are off the table for me are hyper masculine and hyper feminine, anyone else is great

70. are you good at flirting?

i don’t have the confidence to flirt lol

71. who was the first person you came out to?

my friends ellie and lilli, at the same time, on accident

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

the question is do i have friends that aren’t wlw 

73. is your crush wlw?

i believe so

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

this one junior boy who.... oh boy... he’s not hot at all but he’s so nice to literally everyone

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

i don’t feel like i’m attached enough to my crush to write a poem to them

76. do you fall in love easily?

i think so

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

yeah

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

oh hell yeah, at least i think so

79. are you a forgiving person?

depends on what the person did

80. what is your type?

i don’t really have one? being taller than me is nice

81. fall asleep in her arms or tub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

both, with a preference for the first one

82. tall girls or short girls?

TOL

83. hugs or kisses

both, especially at the same time

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

both!!

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

tummy!! thigh kisses are a bit too close to the pussy for my taste

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

hairline

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

both!!!!!!!!!

88. making our or soft kisses

soft kisses

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

both, it just depends on the situation

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

probably 80%

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

idk if i ever blush but i have to REALLY like someone to get butterflies

92. have you ever likes a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

i have multiple times but i’ve only told someone once

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

11 or 12

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

idk, i tend to forget those things

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

i honestly don’t ship many lesbians lmao. can i count my own ocs? bc julia and emily are great

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

i don’t think i’ve actually had anything negative said about my sexuality directly to me, so i’m a bit lucky

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

i honestly have no idea

98. what is love to you?

when we make each other happy

99. ask me anything

i mean my ask is always open if anyone wants to do this

thanks for listening to me be super gay and sad for a little bit

[spiceiplier]

Rules: Answer 21 questions and then tag 21 people who you want to get to know better.

I don't have 21 people I'd like to tag, so I'll tag @occorner @drellvhen @vailed-legacy @fourletterepithet @alkqs (if you're not interested that's cool too!) and anyone else who would want to do this!!

Thanks @femmeshep for tagging me! ❤

nickname: I have a few based off my real name, which I'm not comfortable sharing yet, but ones that don't have to do with my real name... Spice, Silver, Pumpkin, Pumpkin Spice, Pumpkin Spice Latte, Bob, You're (last two are inside jokes)

zodiac: Libra ✌

height: About 5'1 😅

last movie i saw: Uhhhh... I think it was... "Mowgli: Legend of the Jungle"? It was a pretty okay movie. Not the best thing ever, but not that bad either.

last thing googled: "dragon age origins female mage and cullen" for an edit I'm making 😉

favorite musician: OH MAKER THIS ONE IS GONNA BE HARD, UH.... Let me do a top five, in no particular order:

Panic! At The Disco

Twenty One Pilots

Louden Swain

Pentatonix

Harry Styles

AHH, not even a top five will do! Cause I just recently got into Cosmo Sheldrake, and I love stuff like Superfruit, AURORA, Avriel and The Sequoias, Billie Eilish, Brendan Fletcher, Billy Joel, Niall Horan, Louis Tomlinson, Miracle of Sound... Imagine Dragons!! I just love music 😂

song stuck in my head: Oof, I always have, like, 10 songs stuck in my head 24/7. Rn I have "You Reposted in the Wrong Neighborhood"... I also have "Mama's Jam" by Louden Swain playing on Spotify so that's an interesting combination 😂

other blogs: @inquisitorananilavellan 💚

do I get asks: Not really. But that's fine, 'cause the few I have gotten have been super sweet!! They always make my day. ❤

following: 117 blogs atm

amount of sleep: That differs. I have sleeping troubles, so sometimes I get 8-12 hours, then other times 3-6 hours. I always wake up and have to fall back asleep again though, so that cuts into the time.

lucky number: I see 11 a lot! Idk if that's lucky tho... It's actually 2:11 as I write this 😂

what i’m wearing: Hand-me-down red Nike shirt, and hand-me-down green sweatpants with beige elks(I think?? Might be moose) on them... Whenever my brother outgrows something, I get it 😂 Not complaing, guys clothes are comfy.

dream job: I honestly don't know. I kinda wanna do something with art, or baking, but I also wanna work with animals...

dream trip: Japan!!! Me and my bff actually plan to go together someday. We've both always wanted to go, so why not together? ^-^

favorite food: Y'all, I love food. Like, this is one of the hardest questions you could ask me 😂 I'll just list some things I like:

Popcorn Chicken

Mochi

Sugar Cookies

Salad

Corn

Hawaiian Rolls

Cherries

play any instruments: I can play a bit of piano. Literally only two songs, and one is just the beggining.

languages: English, and I'm learning Spanish!

random fact: I have a scar on my elbow from being a dumbass. A basketball rolled out of my neighbors yard and I, like a dumb bitch, went after it and BENT DOWN TO GRAB IT ON A HILL. I rolled down the hill, cause that's how gravity works. I didn't even know I was hurt until my friend pointed it out, though. So I guess another random fact, I have a very high pain tolerance.

describe yourself as aesthetic things: If I was a mood board, I'd have... A PS4 controller, the DA logo, paint brushes, sweets, a paw print, and something to do with music, maybe an album cover... A fireplace, and some snowy landscape. All in black, white, and red.

[sigurd-curtis]

100 questions

I was tagged by @liesarebetterthantruths ;))

What is your nickname? In English it’s ‘The Korean Lightning’

How old are you? 17 years old!

What is your birthday month? April!

What is your zodiac sign? Taurus!

What is your favourite colour? Uhhh.. Blue, green or bourdeaux

What is your lucky number? Ummm.. 4

Do you have any pets? I have a black labrador named Timon ;)

Where are you from? Originally South Korea!

How tall are you? Uhhhh.. In metric measurements, 163 cm.. In imperial mesasurements, I guess 5’4”?

What shoe size are you? EU 36, US 6

How many pair of shoes do you own? Uhhh, a wild guess would be 9, even though I only use 2 of them haha

Are you random? At some level, yaaaaas

Last person you texted? @liesarebetterthantruths ;)

Are you psychic in any way? Nah

Last TV show you watched? Probably Friends!

Favourite movie? The Danish Girl!

Favourite show from your childhood? My Little Pony probably!

Do you want children? Sure, if the right person and time comes up!

Do you want a church wedding? Idk man, I’m too single for this lol!

What is your religion? Eh..

Have you ever been to a hospital? Yup, several times

Have you ever gotten in trouble with the law? No

How is life? Pretty great! I could use a summer break now, tho ;)

Baths or showers? Shower first, then bath, but always bath!

What colour socks are you wearing? Black atm

Have you ever been famous? Not what I know of, no haha

Would you like to be a big celebrity? Oh, please no!

What type of music do you like? I have a broad taste, but normally pop or country

Have you ever been skinny dipping? I’m not suuuure..

How many people do you sleep with? (Am I too dirtyminded for this question?)

What position do you sleep in? On my right side or my back

How big is your house? Definitely big enough!

What do you typically eat for breakfast? Uhhh, I don’t eat breakfast

Have you ever left the country? Yeah, for vacations and such

Have you ever tried archery? Yup, and I such at it hahaha

Do you like someone? Yeah... But I’m not really sure where it’s going, ehehehe..

Favourite swear word? I’m a classic fuck person ;)

When do you fall asleep? Depends on the time of the year, but around 1-3 am atm

Do you have any cars? I will need a license first lol

Sexual orientation? I’m straight

Are you a good liar? Nah, wouldn’t say that

What languages would you like to learn? ALL OF THEM! But if I should choose, then Japanese and Spanish!

Top 10 songs? Uhhh.. I don’t know rn hahah

Do you like your country? Yeah, I would say so

Do you have friends from the web? Yeah

What is your personality type? INFP-T! I can’t remember my OCEAN type

Hogwarts house? Ravenclaw all the way!

Can you curl your tongue? Yup!

Pick one character you most relate to? Tsumugu Kido, haah

Left or right handed? Ambidextrous!

Are you scared of spiders? I guess a little

Favourite food? Japchae (잡채), bulgogi (불고기) or pad thai with squid!

Favourite foreign food? Welp, the things I said above

Are you a clean or messy person? Clean, but still messy some places

If you could switch gender for a day, what would you do? Uhmmm.. I don’t know haha

What colour underwear? Black and bourdeaux

How long does it take you to get ready? 10-15 minutes

Do you have much of an ego? Nah, I wouldn’t say so

Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck at first, then I get impatient and bite

Do you talk to yourself? Yeah, quite a lot

Do you sing to yourself? Why would I do such a horrible thing to myself? Haha

Are you a good singer? NOOOOOOO hahah

Biggest fear? Idk

Are you a gossip? Sometimes, but mostly not

Are you a grammar natzi? *balls up fists* No, I know how to control myself ;)

Do you have short or long hair? Something in between

Can you name all 50 states of America? Nah, maybe 40

Favourite school subject? Biology or English!

Extrovert or introvert? Definitely introvert

Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope

What makes you nervous? People, insects and.. A lot of other things

Are you scared of the dark? Kinda

Do you correct people when they make mistakes? I can’t, I make too many mistakes myself haha

Are you ticklish? Yes, very much

Have you ever started a rumor? No

Have you ever been out of your home country? Yep

Have you ever drunk underage? Yeah, I have

Have you ever done drugs? Noooooo and I don’t want to

What do you fantasize about? All sorts of things

How many piercings do you have? 5 ear piercings, but I will get more!

Can you roll your R’s? Sort of haha

How fast can you type? Very, very fast, but apparently NEVER FAST ENOUGH TO GET THE GOOD MEMES/JOKES THROUGH ON TIME IN A GROUP CHAT

How fast can you run? I don’t run

What colour is your hair? Naturally dark brown, but dyed amethyst/violet brown

What colour are your eyes? Brown

What are you allergic to? I’m lactose intolerant

Do you have a journal? Yeah

Are you depressed about anything? No, I wouldn’t say so

Do you like your age? Sure

What makes you angry? Don’y even get me STARTED on that haha

Do you like your own name? It’s fine, haha

Did you ever get a foreign object op your nose? Nothing more dramatic than a pencil

Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? No preference

What talents do you have? Me? Talents? *dies laughing*

Sun or moon? POKEMON MOON (I had to, sorry hehe)

How did you get your name? My brother picked it out for me :)

Are you religious? Ummmm

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yeah! 99. Colour of your bedspread? Green! - 100. Tumblr best friend? @liesarebetterthantruths! ......................I tag @wizardess-sweetheart :)

[sambashua]

11 questions tag~

i was tagged by @achuu-nice @s-lay-ing and @maetaamong for the 11 questions game where you answer 11 q’s then write 11 new q’s! a good time! (y’all this is 33 questions bear w me)

nom’s q’s

how are you? :D I’M GREATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT i hope you are too:D

sad ballads or happy upbeat songs? okay so like.. both so much.. but if i rlly had to choose i’d go for ballads bc i’m rlly a soft binch at heart (but red flavor will never not get me lit)

fave anime movie? maybe ponyo? or howl’s moving castle? i also really liked the girl who lept through time! (all credited to wonhankwan movie squad)

dogs or cats? bOTH i refuse to choose (but i got dos gatos)

do you keep stuffed animals in your room? no:( i have some on a shelf at my dad’s house tho? and i have mr. troll in my apt living room!

someone you miss? @atshinee :(

describe your phone case? iT’S GOT MOOMIN EATIN SOME CARROTS OR EGGS IT’S UP FOR DEBATE

favorite lore/myths? i’ve always been a percy jackson ho but i always thought persephone and that story was cool?? also the labyrinth 

eardbuds or headphones? earbuds bc headphones are real expensive

can I steal your heart? i actually don’t have one to steal bc you already took it nom:’(

favorite thing about your ult bias? uMMMMMMM prObABLy his smile♡ (i say smth different everytime but i feel like i neglect his visuals oops)

cloud’s q’s

Do you know a ksong by heart? (bc I don’t :x I can hum a trillion tho) haaaaaaa well i mean i can’t speak korean ofc but i can p much believably sing all of seventeen’s title tracks.. and i generally sing along to every song ever even if i don’t know it??? oH I LEARNED ALL THE WORDS TO IF IT IS YOU BY JUNG SEUNG HWAN BC I LOVE IT exhibit a b and  c for why!

When it comes to friendships, are you low or high maintenance? (As in your friends gotta talk everyday with you or you’ll feel like the friendship is dying OR if you can spend days without talking to them yet you still remain close) i like to think i’m a pretty low maintenance person! i’m easy-going by nature and i don’t mind silence at all and don’t even find it awkward usually. i have friends i don’t talk to for months on end and then we get together maybe once a year and we still remain close:) i like to think i’m easy to talk to so that could be part of it?

Do you have a secret that you will take to the grave? (Ofc I’m not asking you to reveal it)  ajhfdksl tbh i don’t think so??? i’m kind of a private person.. but if someone asked me smth specific i wouldn’t not tell them ? idk tho i used to be a bit of a pathological liar so~~~

Recommend me 5 songs (not necessarily kpop songs) i’ll rec some non kpop since i’m sure you would know anything i recced ajkdhfjdk

honey - kehlani

to build a home - the cinematic orchestra (aka chanhee’s all time favorite song which makes me really emo)

broken clocks - sza

waves - young the giant

window seat - thomston, wafia

bonus! flirt right back - backbear :)

What do you prefer?: first, second or third gen kpop songs? third gen! since that’s when i joined i’m really into it at this point! also i think the variety of music is sooo much wider than it used to be? i’m not super in tune w all the older groups but i think it’s insaneeee how many groups there are rn snd they all have a lot to offer!

What’s the cheeeeeeeeeesiest thing you’ve done? (one time a former friend of mine was telling me about a problem she had and at the end of our convo I kissed her in the forehead bYE) um legit cloud i am cheesy 25/8 catch me being a soft snuggly bean popping trash puns left and right every day of the week

If you were asked to participate in a variety show, which one of the following would you pick and why? (Pick two!): problematic men, master key, hello counselor, weekly idol, one fine day, law of the jungle i think i’d go on weekly idol! i would wanna go toe to toe w doni and coni bc they’re always so harsh to lil baby idols ahhaha i wanna take them on!

Your top 10 kpop songs of 2017? binchhhh i’ll just go by my top nine according to spotify and my number one for apple music:)

When You Love Someone - Day6

Heartbreaker - NCT 127

My First and Last - NCT DREAM (also dunk shot tho byeeee)

Baby Don’t Like It - NCT 127 (tbh don’t remember listening to it this much what)

BABE - Hyuna

Like This - Pentagon

A Supplementary Story: You Never Walk Alone - BTS

Rollin’ - Brave Girls !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eclipse - LOONA (Kim Lip)

Wake Me Up - B.A.P

bonus! Coloring Book - Oh My Girl :)

Would you rather live in a huge mansion or a compact studio house? definitely a studio house! for sooo many reasons: 1) i hate walking 2) cleaning a large house is the worst 3) if i had the option to spend that much i’d just get a smaller house and spend money on more important things!

Tell me a fun childhood story (I’ll start! One time an aunt gave me money to buy ‘papas’ (potatoes) at the grocery store so bc I’m obedient af I went and asked the counter lady how many of em could I buy with the money I had so she went ‘uhh, not many tbh’ so i ended up getting like two and when I returned to my aunt’s house she laughed her ass off and said: I meant ‘papas fritas’ (potato chips) Not those! - and uh yeah this is funnier in Spanish but it proves that I’m such an innocent angel I mean wow) gIRL I WISH I COULDA SEEN THAT SPANISH EXCHANGE I DEFINITELY LAUGHED um????????? yo idk i can’t think of anything help uhhhh okay so when my sister and i were little our house was two stories so we’d take our stuffed animals and tie plastic bags to them and make them skydive ahahha but it wasn’t too satisfying for obvious reasons so we just attached this one stretchy pink scarf to them and make them bungee jump from the railing ajfdhgfdls classic

If you were offered to start a band, would you accept? yEAH if someone offered i would assume i had the talent and ability so.. yes.. even if i didn’t and someone offered i’d still say yes bye

kiki’s q’s

Link your favourite playlist here if you can and if you can’t write out the first 10 songs on it! (Not a question but shh) here she isssss okay wait so she’s not my go to playlist tbh but she has a mix of western and kpop so.. enjoy!

Is your current ult bias your first ult bias? If not who was your first? yes :) my first ever bias was joon but i didn’t even know what an ult was for a long time and by the time i found out i knew all along wonu was my boy

Who is your ult bias? jeon wonwoo ofc

Who is more likely to hog the aux cord, you or your ult? um me.. i’m kinda a hoe w music like i always play it.. when i drive my friends i am in charge of music bc duh it’s my car but then when they drive me they usually ask if i wanna play music ahahhaha MAYEB THEY’RE JSUT SAYING I HAVE GOOD TASTE THO???? 

Who is more likely to forget an important date, you or your ult? def wonwoo.. that boy couldn’t remember his own birthday if he didn’t pay attention.. for some reason i have a steel trao mind for dates?

Who is more likely to ask the other to pick them up after work, you or your ult? i like driving so i’d say maybe wonwoo? but i feel like he might be the type to want to offer to drive you.. who am i kidding that boy is always tired

Who is more likely to write the other a hand written note expressing themselves rather than just saying it, you or your ult? i think wonwoo.. i get the vibe that we’re both a bit emotionally inept and we would both have trouble expressing ourselves but he might find comfort w writing things down he’s a romantic binch he reads too much not to be

Who is more likely to cry when a dog dies in a movie, you or your ult? me bc dat ho doesn’t like dogs smh.. his only fault (jk he a mess)

Who is more likely to almost burn the house down while cooking, you or your ult? wonu? just bc i’m not that clumsy? he could do it tho

Who is more likely to start a pillow fight, you or your ult? neither of us we’re too tired

Who is more likely to ask the other to come over to cuddle with them so that they can fall asleep better, you or your ult? meeeeee i’m a cuddly bitch and he isn’t rip.. but he would do it for me he better

my questions:D

If you could travel anywhere, but were completely by yourself, where would you go?

What inspires you?

How many pets would you have in your ideal future? Any specific names or types in mind?

What are you opinions on fedoras

how many spoons can you balance on your face at once (picture or video proof preferred (i’m trying to get someone to do it pls anyone))

What is your favorite type of tree?

If you could convince one person to like kpop who would you convert?

What are three things you are normally associated with and/or what are three things you want to be associated with?

If you were in a kpop group what position would you hold (ie. leader, main vocal, moodmaker, etc) feel free to tag your mutuals and who they would be!

If you could have any wild animal as a tame pet what would it be?? (i’m ocelot loyal all the way)

What is your opinion on mint chocolate chip ice cream? (for maj)

i’m going to tag @yongpal-i !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (are you happy sister) @strawberryboo @everyonesabiaswrecker @kiheehyunie @indiepoptime @jungnoir @hwallsgrl @lipstick-chathao @yongceo @undinefin @kihqun @definitelythis @g-te @justsomekpopstuff (tagged you back:D) and @jeonwoooo if you guys want to try it out!!

[stephbrxwn]

Oh those are good. Mind doing em all? If you do, Baby's Breath, lavender, sugarbush, dandelion

Chev, thank you for always giving me an opening to talk about myself I will do them all cause uhhhh i love this shit

I’m putting it under a read more cause it’s wayyyyy long

baby’s breath: 5 things you associate yourself with:

The color purple (specifically my purple boots tho)

Comic Books about girls

long-winded tangents that don’t seem to have a beginning or end

The lower east side

laughably bad movies

bleeding heart: what makes your heart go mushy?

i LOVE receiving any form of affection it’s wild how much i love this shit like I’m a very affectionate person but like... receiving? wild and nice! also I love a good romcom cause I’m a sap anyway

bell flower: what’s the title of the song that makes you want to jump around out of joy?

I Wanna Dance With Somebody always does the trick

evening primrose: what’s your sleeping playlist (give me 5 songs)?

I actually don’t listen to music when i fall asleep I listen to comedy albums cause it’s not narrative but it gives me something to focus on? but for comedians I’ll say Kyle Kinane, Maria Bamford, Eugene Mirman, Patton Oswalt and Hannibal Buress!

forget-me-not: who is your favorite blog who isn’t following you?

I really don’t have a favorite blog???? I don’t have any that I check a lot and all of the blogs I really like are my friends blogs so if you want some reccs I can sure as shit do that!

daffodil: what is one plant that you want to have but can never get?

An orchid! My dad has some but I’d love to have one for my room but I can’t even take care of myself so I can’t take care of a high-maintenance plant!

calla lily: are you more of a sunny day or a rainy evening?

I really like sunny days when the weather is still kinda cool? Like two weeks ago the weather was probably 60 and I was so happy. (I do really like rainy evenings tho because I love being inside and being comfy)

foxglove: what is your favorite color and in what shade?

Purple! And I like most purples but a nice lavender is always nice!

lavender: what is something that you’ve always wanted to be/have/get but can never have?

I’ve always wanted to be a musician which I guess I am but I wanted to like... be a touring/recording artist but I’ll never be that because I write one song a year and I always hate it.

love in a mist: what is the latest dream that you remember?

I don’t remember a lot of my dreams but the last one I remember was actually kinda nice cause like... I was in love and happy and god I wish

daisy: what is your favorite flavor of cotton candy, ice cream, and juice?

all cotton candy is just sugar flavor so I love that, mint chocolate chip or just chocolate chip and apple or pineapple.

painter’s palette: are you more of a singer, dancer, painter, or instrumentalist?

Singer! Always!

tulip: what is your most favorite make-up product? do you like it more natural, dark, or etc?

I only really ever do my eyebrows so I love stuff like Boy Brow (but not that cause it’s kinda expensive)

waxflower: are you a bee or a butterfly person? a dog or a cat person?

Bees! Cat! But I love butterflies and dogs so much!!

sugarbush: do you have sweet tooth? if yes, what’s your favorite sweets? if no, why?

Recently I haven’t had a sweet tooth which is weird for me but I love rice crispy treats!

sunflower: would you like to be a fairy or a mermaid?

Both cause I love to fly but also I adore the ocean.

sweet pea: what would you like to call your significant other?

It so depends on the person

sea lavender: can you swim? which strokes can you do?

I mean yeah but not like.... actual swim strokes once I dislocated my shoulder doing butterfly

windflower: list 5 of your favorite blogs and explain why i like them

Again, I don’t really have faves but like..... if you want my friends URLs I’ll happily promote them I love them so much

golden rod: are you more of a baker or a cook?

Baker! I make a mean pie crust!

bloom: what is something that you would like to tell your children?

Never feel guilty for asking for what you want.

peony: what is something that you wish your parents could’ve told you?

probably the same thing I would tell my kids

prairie gentian: do you have a significant other?

Nope!

september flower: are you more of a sunshine or sunset person?

Sunset! I love the early evening cause I just feel.... good

bird of paradise: do you wake up early? do you sleep early?

Sleep late but go to bed early lmao

marigold: what’s your favorite tea?

Tension tamer dude I live for that shit!

peruvian lily: what are the names of your pets?

Mo (short for Moseph) and Rainy!

hyacinth: do you name your plants?

Yes! I have two succulents rn named Picard and Crusher!

lilac: would you rather sleep and be cozy or hang out with your friends?

Trick question cozy with my friends!

poppy: do you like to dip your fries or do you like it as is?

Ketchup! or a chocolate milkshake I love that

dandelion: any special talent that you have?

I’m really good at spewing personal information

[aonbharrs]

tagged by: @meitanteiconan

tagging: @kairyuv @gross-yellow-flowers @capzackthefirst and whoever else wants to do it ig (Im bad at tagging ppl)

rules: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people and also tag the person who tagged you… and most importantly, have fun!

a - age: 21

b - biggest fear: the dark OR hurting my hands/eyes

c - current time: 11am

d - drink you last had: grape juice

e - every day starts with: waking up next to my gf (gay)

f - favorite song: I rly like Eyelids (PVRIS) but I kinda like Critical Mistakes (888) rn so idk which is my fav

g - ghosts, are they real: maybe idk

h - hometown: I was born/raised in NC thats all Im gonna say

i - in love with: my gf @vorepepe  ❤ ❤ ❤

j - jealous of:  emotionally stable ppl

k - killed someone: does verbally count bc I verbally annhilated a homophobe the other day

l - last time you cried: I dont remember

m - middle name: no

n - number of siblings: 5

o - one wish: for things to work out in the end/bad things to quit happening so much

p - person you last called/texted: one of my little sisters

q - questions you’re always asked: I get asked about my birth name a lot since it’s spelled funny

r - reasons to smile: my gf

s - song last sang: uhhhh I dont remember

t - time you woke up: 5something and couldnt fall back asleep

u - underwear color: ...dont

v - vacation destination: anywhere, really - I prefer most places over the beach tho unless I’m mainly going for the boardwalk

w - worst habit: skin picking when Im anxious

x - x-rays you’ve had: hands

y - your favorite food: I like sweet foods and soup/stew and most pastas but I dont have a specific fav

z - zodiac sign: scorpio

[gayleefiora]

also earlier i had heard you correct yourself and call b your ex-girlfriend which made me smile cuz last week you said girlfriend a couple times and it freaked me out but this is the first time i’ve heard you say ‘ex’ and it was a relief.

so we go to the bus stop and i make you keep walking bc theres people at all the bus stops and im like UGH. i take your hand but its a little awkward so i try to pull it away but you wont let me bc you know i want to touch and we do a little hand dance and then let go and its nice. then as soon as we get there the bus is coming. and im quite frustrated and youre like do you want to get on? and i’m like, i want you to take care of your business but also NO i don’t i dont want it to be here this soon but... what do you want? and the bus is coming and you’re like uhhhh and im like now or never dude and youre like no. dont take it. lets hang out a little longer and im like good. yes. bc thats all i want in that moment. 

so we walk and come eventually to volunteer park and you tell me that’s where you buried your other rat. we walk for a bit. im exhausted, like i havent felt so tired/happy/confused/heartbroken/heartfull/vulnerable in a long time. i just want to go to the dark. so i collapse by a tree and you collapse next to me and we’re already touching so i know its okay. i just turn to you and bury my face in the crook of your shoulder and then its too much and i want to hold you like i do at night when i think of you. and i do. you stretch your arm around me and we just breathe and you hold me. i feel so safe and comfortable and like slightly relaxed for the first time in hours, maybe all day. and we just do that for a while. you hold me and the energy shifts eventually so i switch and hold you so you can feel safe and comfortable and taken care of. and you want it. you want to be held by me. you run your fingers through my hair so soft but firm and i feel so loved. i rub your shoulder and put my fingers deep in your hair and its so thick and beautiful just like mine. your hand is curled on top of your shoulder and one arm is slung across me and when i brush your hand you grasp for me and so i hold your hand while we lay curled together, mostly silent, in the dark. 

you say i dont want to move and i say i dont either. eventually youre like ‘i really dont want to get up. but i have to’ and im like i know its okay. lets try a practice run and you dont move and neither do i. we move closer somehow and i bury my face in your hair. but eventually you do get up and i do too and its okay. we walk back to the bus stop, not touching. 

we get to the bus stop and it comes v soon but before it comes for some reason we’re talking about raccoons. there’s a ladder and you say raccoon ladder? and i say nah, they’re too heavy. but then i remember theyre hella smart and fast and i tell you about jes and the raccoons and the lake. and youre cracking up even tho you don’t know her and i love you for it. and i need to tell you, have been meaning to tell you for a while. so we see the bus and you reach out your arms and i fall into them. and i say ‘i love you’ in the real way and you say ‘i love you too.’ 

you sort of let me go but not really. i hear/feel you kiss the top of my head. you don’t want to let go. i look at your face and its so beautiful and cute and shining with love and i say like a little kid ‘bye raccoon’ and you say bye. get home safe. i’ll see you soon. sweet dreams and i say sweet dreams for you too. and get on the bus which is gross and full of fuckin weirdos but im not focused on that. bc i am focused on this. i text you when i get home and i think you’re not going to text me but at 1:35 you do. you say “<3 me too i think (re: being okay). i hope youre having sweet dreams” its like the fourth time we’ve said that to each other. i love that you texted me even tho you think im asleep. its also at the exact moment i am thinking of you and specifically of sex and how incredibly much i will fall apart when/if we ever have sex. and i hear my phone ding and its just like wow. wow. you love me. you even said it. we said it. 

i just... i dont know what to think or feel or anything rn. i still rly want a spliff but also not. its just wow. its so funny how we cant stop touching now that we did once. like i cant turn off my vulnerability and i keep expecting you to run from it or me but you dont. you just get CLOSER and MORE LOVING and its so weird to me!!! we’re so well balanced!!! because thats what i do for you, is i am always grounded and can always support you and be close to you and make you feel beloved and special but you are so good at doing that for me and its just. wow. it felt so fucking good to hold you. ive spent so many nights imagining it and thinking it would never happen and you must have to. but it did. that happened. i said i love you and you didnt run away, you said ‘i love you too’. which i mean i knew but also!!! to hear it!!! it still doesn’t feel real.

so. that was last night. idk exactly where we go from here except everywhere. you just kept making such an effort to tell me how important and special i am to you. you said it multiple times, at the nus stop too again i think. i know you did bc i said ‘when you say those things i want to respond, but i cant. bc my brain doesnt know how to process. bc it feels so much. if i cant make eye contact with you, i am overwhelmed. thats what that means. it means so much to hear and so i get really quiet and look away but its just bc i want it so much that i dont know how to handle it.’ and yr like its okay, and you just understand. you understand so much. work is hilarious bc we’re so fucking telepathic, esp when its busy. like fuckin lmao we bussed a table in like 15 seconds flat and i saw you about to knock over a waffle batter container and i s2g i CAUGHT IT halfway between the fridge and floor and saved it bc we are that in tune. 

you thanked me at one point. idk why. i said thank YOU then said i mean also like, i accept and that’s sweet. but also. thank you. god. it was so incredibly sweet. i can see how much you love me written over your face all the time but esp when we were in your apartment. no one has ever, ever ever soothed my vulnerability like that. not even dylan or tat. no one has been that sweet with me and known what i needed except myself. to just be held. and loved. and cuddled. by you. the sweetest, smartest, kindest, most beautiful person i have ever met. the most interesting person i’ve ever met. im so fucking in love with you and you... feel that way about me and know i need to hear it and tell me and it cant even be for the reaction cuz i cant GIVE you the reaction in the moment but you know anyways because you can read my eyes so well. thats why i cant look at you sometimes. cuz you’ll see my whole face and know. 

jesus jesus jesus christ.