#i do struggle with khonshu. i'd rewatch the show to get his voice down

[yellowocaballero]

🌟 for mens rea / good luck jake! / any of your sw no-chip au fics

“I am the only one of us who’s done everything you asked,” Jake hissed. “I don’t argue or fight back. They think I’m a supervillain because of you . Help me. Help me! Please!”

He didn’t look up from the floor, but he could feel Khonshu staring down at him anyway. He could always feel him. Always. Judging. Never telling him what he saw. Always judging.

I told you this is a reciprocal relationship, Jake. I’ll help you. 

(I don't like the way the middle part is written, I'll fix it later.)

I never pretended Jake liked Khonshu, but their affable and smooth partnership was established in his first scene. He openly acknowledges his subservient position to Marc, but he rubs it in Marc's face - it's something Jake can do, something that they have to do, that Marc cannot.

Honestly, I think it makes Jake feel special. Most of his life he really didn't have anybody on his side. Khonshu, for all he's a manipulative dick, has massive favoritism for Jake for a few evil reasons and for a few reasons that run more along the lines of 'he's hilarious' and 'finally someone who agrees with me' and 'I want to study him like a bug'. And Khonshu doesn't really have a lot of friends either.

Khonshu's hard to write, but my general MO is that he and Marc share desires and values. In a broad sense, they both want justice and vengeance, and they both want to protect people. But they want to go about it in entirely opposite ways, and their definitions of justice don't always match up. Their conflict arises from Khonshu's method (which frequently involves fucking with Marc), not what they want.

Some of that is established in Mens Rea, hopefully people got the gist. This is the turning point in what we understand about Jake, and of course it's a turning point in understanding Jake's relationship with Khonshu. It's a massive show of vulnerability and desperation from Jake. He's always acted so in control and powerful, repeatedly pulling Marc's pigtails and flaunting his control of the body in this scene. But here we get this intense insight into his vulnerabilities - his bratty 'you can't hit me, I'm better than you!', his terrified and anxious jump of 'if I lose control I'm going to lose my life and the HFH', and the fact that he is so proud but jumps to begging Khonshu for help in seconds.

Despite what Khonshu says, it's not an equal partnership, and Jake knows that. Jake's power is dependent on Khonshu's favor. For the next 60k Jake's going to demonstrate a need to feel powerful, and in order to obtain that he sacrifices pride and represses heavily the fact that he's humiliated by its loss. Marc wants desperately to feel like a superhero and Steven wants to be a good person, but in order to get what he wants Jake sacrifices those desires.

So, if you step back - we've established that Marc is wiling to do distasteful things to live. He'd be very happy to do without Khonshu, but I think on a certain level he is grateful to him for life. If there is an aspect of him that will do anything to live, this anything will involve getting in bed with Khonshu with no hesitation and no qualms. Every other aspect of him detests this, but that's just not who Jake is. And if that does become who Jake is, then the "I don't argue or fight back", "it's not my job to ask questions", 'he had an intrusive thought about peasants kissing the pharaoh's robes', all comes rushing in. And that's on the short list of things that Marc feels he cannot handle any more than he already does.