#i do have a vision of adding arm cuffs and having some super light and floaty fabric between wrist & arm

[imaginejolls]

just finished my whore outfit (affectionate) in red this morning ❤️

[nytreecx]

Marinette is not a Bad Designer

Alright… I’ve seen one-too many bitter posts by fans of Miraculous Ladybug disappointed by Marinette’s deep-down costume choice to not put my thoughts on the matter forward.

When considering a design in textiles, we are taught to critically observe it through two lenses: functional and aesthetic. Simply put: how it serves its purpose and its overall appearance (usually how visually appealing it is). Despite often clashing and getting in the way of one-another, they sometimes are easier to see as concepts that blend into one another. In water colour, if you paint red and blue next to each other, they are going mix to create purple. (I blather when I explain these concepts, so if you wish to get to the analysis of Marinette and Adrien’s designs skip ahead to ***)

As an example for this outlook, I’ll use a cushion on a lounge. Its functions are to provide lumbar support; help maintain good posture; filling the gaps of a comfortable sitting space the lounge may have missed; to last continuous uses; and to complement and accentuate the design of the lounge. This means function will control the shape, size, density, and – to a degree – the fabric choices such as category and type (e.g. woven and cotton respectively) of the cushion, and provide a starting point for the aesthetics via the lounge’s aesthetics. The cushion’s aesthetic purposes on a plain lounge are to create interesting and appealing focal points; on a patterned lounge, they provide plain yet grounding points to bring focus and calm to an otherwise busy design. Aesthetics therefore controls the shape, fabric type and pattern (e.g. cotton or plush, and floral respectively), and notions such as piping and buttons. I have most likely missed a plethora of points, but I am aware I am usually long winded and am an amateur.

Of course, some designs need to heavily lean to one side of planning. A wall-hanging is a piece of art using textiles mediums; therefore it will have dependence on aesthetics planning to be successful. Its function is simply to look good. A tent taken on a camping trip, however, is going to be all purpose. It wants to keep you safe from the elements, and not take up too much room in your car or weight in your backpack. If the tent is made from chiffon, with bolts of cloth dedicated to frills and decorative drapes, it will be bulky; be even more difficult to stuff into its bag than your sleeping-bag; tear easily on the first bit of nature it comes in contact with; and metaphorically take on the properties of fairy-floss when it rains, not only drenching you, but keeping you wet and trapped as the delicate and light fabric becomes heavy and collapses on top of you and whatever unfortunate soul tried to foolishly take refuge in it. One may even say its aesthetic purpose it to look durable. The only acceptation I can think of is a camouflage design, where a specific pattern and frills that mimic leaves are necessary.

***

Through this, I have hopefully illustrated that the relationship between function and aesthetics is one of give and take. Adrien does not give a damn about this. His father may be a famous designer, and whether or not he has shared a few tips of the trade, this boy grew up on manga. He is going to hit this super-hero costume with as much magic-girl that his kawaii desu ne heart possesses. He’s got cuffs; a long-ass tail that has its own pose in the transformation sequence; paw prints on the boots; unnecessary seams and piping; morphed pupils (that may be an automatic change to give him night-vision); and a big bell that rings, for crying out loud. The only functions I can see are steel-caps, pockets, removability of the tail, and claws. Even then I suspect these were mainly chosen for the aesthetics. Even his seams are what you would call aesthetic seams. It’s a suit made from magic. You don’t need seams.

Marinette, on the other hand, is focused on the function of this being a superhero costume. She knows she will be going into battle. Taking leaf out of Edna Mode’s book and then the whole library, she forgoes the iconic billowing cape and anything else that would hinder or even put her in danger her while fighting. Seams, zipper tags, cuffs, tails, and bells can be exploited by getting grabbed by a villain or accidentally caught on an edge or pointy debris while dodging or escaping. She only has an allusion to antenna as ribbons rather long poles sticking out of her head will basically become handles for whomever she is fighting. The only fault I can see is keeping her pigtails (*SPOILER* which we know she can change from the leak of Kitty Noir *SPOILER OVER*). Even then they may serve to create some kind of barrier from the back for her miraculous. She doesn’t need such things as steel caps because her magical fabric is already all the armour she needs.

I’ve had fun creating alternative costumes for Marinette. With function in mind, and wanting to reference the beetle, I added plate armour to the front to mimic the underside of the ladybird; angled spikes on the arms and legs like many beetles have to catch blades and cause damage; white spots like on their head on a black helmet that conceals her identity better; and the red and black shell only as a detachable shield on the back. Apart from being a design more appropriate for an AU, I forgot one important thing that all these features I wanted as tributes to the source material took away. Marinette knew that a superhero needs to be recognisable. Hence, this is the goal of the aesthetics.

The simplicity of the fabric’s pattern is to be iconic. What’s the most salient part of a ladybird? The black spots on their red shell. What pattern has she chosen? Exactly that. She is supposed to be a hero of the people. Someone every citizen can recognise as she swings by so fast she’s a blur. Parisians are going to be attacked so often that the red with black polka-dots needs to inspire feelings of safety, so that when they see her they don’t instantly think she’s akuma they need to seek shelter from. When she rescues terrified and flustered citizens, or toddlers crying for their mother, she needs to be recognised immediately; to create a focus point for the panicked mind; and to inspire peace and a sense that it will all be okay now that she’s here. A plain pattern in bold colours is the easiest way to do this. Adrien has even done this with the almost unanimously black outfit and silhouette alluding to a cat with the ears and tail. Her simplicity is necessary BOTH functionally and aesthetically.

*SPOILER*

In the event they swap kwamiis, they retain their design philosophies, and yet are influenced by someone they love and care about’s take on it. They need to hold onto the established iconic design the other has come up with, yet express they are someone else with their own unique take on it. Adrien keeps the iconic spots as the main feature, but adds panels of black to accentuate the pattern; give a nod to the actual ratio of black to spots on the ladybird; suggest armour; and to add depth and accentuate muscle anatomy. Marinette turns the bells and whistles into lines on the fabric to remove the danger of them while honouring them. Her plat imitates a tail instead of a more-easily-grappled belt and the collar tells of her Chinese heritage. In the event of the mouse fiasco, she needs to alter her design philosophy from hero to “omg please don’t find out I’m Ladybug”. Her colours are the usual palette she wears to inspire Marinette thoughts for Chat; her hair resembles mouse ears and are definitely and defiantly not Ladybug’s piggy tails; and her stripes and spikes, and tail create the farce that she is an inexperienced hero by forgoing the ungrabblable and to be easily recognised as the animal of their miraculous holder attitude Ladybug adopts.

*SPOILER OVER*

Being a designer isn’t just “Ima add frills for days cuz that shit’s tight”; knowing that busy patterns next to each other clash; making things look visually appealing or stunning; or even knowing what’s hot this season. It’s about making something for and around a purpose. And through this, Marinette can indeed retain her title of “good designer”. Thank you for reading my one thousand and five-hundred word essay. I hope this has enlightened some confused and vexed fans.

[fae-fucker]

Zenith: Prologue - Chapter 1

This is the old snark I did of the first preview chapters that were released before the complete book, updated with new notes from me where I discuss some of the changes in the final product. The notes will be in bold.

The actual story will continue after chapter 12, which previously was chapter 9. 

Let’s see what Shinsay has cooked up for us, shall we?

Prologue

This part is actually called “Cell 377″ but you can’t fool me, Shinsay, I know it’s a prologue.

The updated version has inexplicably changed the cell number from 377 to 306. 

Thirty-six days of endless darkness.

Update: This line has been changed to just “Endless darkness”, to make it more dramatic, I guess.

It surrounded Valen Cortas in cell 377, twisting and turning itself into his bones until he and the darkness had become one.

Fair warning, people: This will get about as edgy as a 12-year-old’s Sonic OC on DeviantArt.

And keep in mind that one of the writers (or the only writer, if this was ghostwritten and Sasha didn’t actually touch the script itself), is an actual published author. This doesn’t say much, considering the garbage that gets published nowadays, but I just wanted to point this out.

I have several issues with the opening sentences already (mostly the overuse of “the darkness,” the level of melodrama, and the general wtf-ness), but I don’t want to be here for a billion days, so let’s just move on.

Valen Cortas is chilling around all sad and lonely in the daaahkness of his lonely daaahk cell.

I am Valen Cortas. He rolled the words over and over in his mind. It was the only thing that kept him going, and it leashed a sharp coil of courage around his veins as he added, Vengeance will be mine.

Leashed a ... sharp coil of ... courage ... around his veins ...

This reads like mad libs. Did Lindsay make the sentence structure and just let Sasha fill in the blanks with the most dramatic words she knew?

Valen had traveled all his life, leaving his home for long stretches at a time, sometimes to the farthest reaches of the galaxy. It wasn’t until here, in the darkness of cell 377 [...]

Yes, it’s very dark in cell 377 306. We get it. Very dark. Just super duper dark. The darkness? It’s in his BOOONES. That’s how dark it is. Move on please.

Update: This has been changed and there’s no longer any mention of the DAAAHK CELL, and Valen now has lived in Arcardius his whole life, as opposed to having traveled all his life.

Valen feels all angsty and sad about the fact that he used to love all of the most dramatic colors of the world, and now he can’t even remember some of them!

As each moment in this abyss passed, the colors all melted into a single shade of black.

It’s very dark in here, guys. Did you get that yet?

He shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around his thin shoulders. The pain of remembering things loved and lost had sunk its claws into him, threatening to crush his bones.

His bones are already filled with darkness, mind you, so I imagine if they get crushed, they’ll just spill out more darkness to add to the darkness.

It’ll be darkness overload. Dark darkness.

Somewhere, in the dank darkness, a scream rang out.

Or ... dank darkness. That works too.

Update: This has been changed to “dank prison.” I guess they had enough sense to change this lmao.

He rolled over, pressing his hands to his ears. “I am Valen Cortas,” he whispered, fingertips touching his cracked lips. “Vengeance will be mine.”

Do me a favor and press your hands to your ears. Now try to touch your lips without removing your hands from your head.

Our first hint that Valen might be an alien with a suspiciously human name, because how else would one explain his freakishly long fingers?

Update: This has been changed, and there’s no longer any mention of Valen’s infinite fingers.

We find out he’s somewhere called Lunamere. Is it a planet? A country? A prison? I guess we’ll find out.

The cold was endless.

Just like the darkness!

The food was enough to keep skin hanging on bones [..]

As we all know, when you starve the first thing that happens is all your skin slops off.

He had to bide his time, and hope that the godstars had not forgotten him. And so he sat, wrapped up in the cold arms of darkness.

Wait wait wait ... So you’re telling me ... It’s both COLD ...

AND DARK?????

Hmm. I hadn’t considered that.

Update: Godstars is now properly capitalized. 

The last line has been changed to “And so he sat, dreaming of darkness, wrapped up in its cold arms” which makes no sense. You just said he wants to see the colors of the world, but instead he dreams of ... darkness? That’s already surrounding him and that he’s tired of? What is he, a masochist? 

Chapter 1

Her nightmares were like bloodstains.

A bitch to wash off?

But Andi had decided, long ago, that the nightmares were her punishment.

She was the Bloody Baroness, after all. And if surviving meant giving up sleep, then she would bear the exhaustion.

Our main character, the Celaena ripoff, as it were, is Androma Racella. And her nickname is Andi.

Yes, really, though I must wonder why they didn’t go the whole way and just name her Andromeda instead of Androma. Was that just too cliché?

This is also false, because you will survive despite nightmares, as any living person can attest to, while lack of sleep can literally kill you. But who gives a damn about that when you can be dramatic?

And these civilizations have advanced far enough to master space travel, but some sleeping pills that knock you straight out is just too unrealistic, huh? I suppose if there was any logic, there wouldn’t be any cheap nightmare drama.

Andi is the captain of a ship named the Marauder (pff) and she’s “busy” etching another mark into one of her super cool katanas to symbolize that she’s killed yet another poor, weak fool.

Her fingertips were white as she gouged a thin tally the length of her smallest finger into one blade. Without its spirals of electricity, the sword looked like any other weapon, the tallies, any other soldier’s lucky mark. But Andi knew better.

Each line she etched into the metal was another life cut off, another heart stopped at the slice of this very blade.

I mean ... I would expect her to know the real meaning behind something she consciously does. Why does this imply that she realizes some sort of deep mystery while everyone else is a dumbass, she’s the one doing it so of course she “knows better.”

And honestly? I’m no sword expert, but what idiot carves marks into their beloved swords? Why would you purposefully damage the metal like that, just to prove how badass you are?

Whatever. I guess I’m no BLOODY BARONESS, I just don’t GET IT.

Update: Andi’s nails are now painted red, and she also wears glowing “compression cuffs” that protect the burned skin around her wrists from the Accident. 

A hundred lives to cover up the pain of the very first. A hundred more to shovel away the hurt into a place that was dark and deep.

From what I know, Andi is plagued by nightmares of her first kill, and while I get that it could “mean” more to a person than the ones after, it feels stupid that she supposedly feels so bad for it that she still has nightmares, but doesn’t care about the other hundreds of people she murdered. It becomes even dumber when the book says she’s killing more to bury that first kill in her conscience.

Andi looked up from her blades as a flash of light in the sky caught her eye.

A piece of space trash, hurtling through thousands of stars.

When you think about it, aren’t we all pieces of space trash, hurtling through thousands of stars?

What’s the difference between space trash and trash in space? Is there a difference? I ask too many questions.

She had always loved the stars. But tonight, she felt as if they were watching her, waiting for her to fail. Mocking little bastards. They’d be sorely disappointed.

EVERY FUCKING SENTENCE OF THIS IS A COMEDIC MASTERPIECE.

So she enjoys looking at the stars ... but not tonight. For some reason? Because they look wrong? Somehow? What? Is this just an excuse to make Andi seem BADASS, she’s so strong she can FIGHT THE STARS???

I’m cackling.

We find out that Andi and her all-girl crew are space pirates, and they’ve recently been smuggling, and I’m 100% serious, BIODRUGS.

That’s what they’re called. BioDrugs.

Aight.

It’s a collective name, and we don’t get the name of the specific BIODRUG that they were dealing, because that would take effort and I imagine there’s not enough left after Shinsay came up with BIODRUGS.

Andi is super edgy and thinks about her latest kill, how he looked into her eyes as she pulled her blade out of him, “silent as a whisper.” Yes, really. At least Andi seems to actually kill people, which already put her above Sardines, though I won’t give any points until I see her do it.

Update: “Varillium,” the type of glass their ship is made of, is no longer capitalized and is specified to be impenetrable.

The man Andi killed is now mentioned to have “double-crossed” her and her crew, which I guess is supposed to make Andi look less like a senseless murderer?

Andi now apparently doesn’t like killing, and contemplates that every person (”even killers like her”) has a soul. Idk why this was added. Is it an attempt to make Andi more of a Woobie? You know you can’t have her both be a ruthless killer and mope about killing, Shinsay?

Some blue chick comes in and announces herself as the second in command. Yes, really.

“As Second in Command,” the figure said, her voice as smooth as the spiced rigna they drank last week, “I demand that you return to your quarters and get some sleep.”

The blue-skinned space babe is Lira, and she’s part of a race called the Adhirans, who are all funky colors, hairless, and have super vision.

Update: Lira now also has scales that glow and can heat up to dangerous degrees when she feels “extreme emotions?” Which sometimes renders her unconscious? 

Lira’s sharp eyes and seeming knowledge of Andi’s whereabouts are now attributed to just her instead of her entire race, which is better if you want to impress someone with how talented your character is. If their whole race is awesome, then her being awesome isn’t quite as impressive.

There’s more info dumping about how Lira is special due to her scales, which are a type of mutation caused by a “radiation event” on a planet that her race colonized.

Lira stepped into the starlit bay and lifted a hairless brow.

[...]

Lira smirked back as she lifted her wrist to her blue lips.

I have a growing feeling that Shinsay have a thing for repeating already known information, but I don’t know where I could’ve gotten that.

Update: There’s FORESHADOWING about Andi’s dancing, which Lira suggest she should take up again to release some of her “deadly tension.”

Lira forces the rest of the crew to wake up, because if the Captain can’t sleep, nobody else should either. That’s ... a dick move, but OK.

Update: The girls now have “internal communication channels” which they activate by swiping their temples.

We’re introduced to Gilly, who’s a redhead and barely thirteen, but everyone is edgy here so she’s already killed people with her cool guns, of course.

“Why do you insist on ruining my beauty sleep?” Gilly exclaimed, in her fluid little voice.

Her ... fluid voice?

Is she gargling something? Does she need help?

The clunky-ass introductions continue as we get introduced to Breck, who’s the “head gunner,” whatever that means.

A tall, broad-shouldered girl appeared behind [Gilly], bending so as not to hit her head on the doorway as she entered.

Hey, you know you could’ve omitted “tall” if you, IN THE SAME SENTENCE, show that she’s tall, right? And you don’t need to say that she entered, we can kind of assume that since she appears in the scene and walks through a doorway.

A broad-shouldered girl appeared behind Gilly, bending so as not to hit her head on the doorway.

See? Much better already.

Gilly (How is this pronounced? Jil-ee? Gil-ee?) asks why her beauty sleep was interrupted and Breck tells her not to question anything Lira does because she can’t give reasonable answers.

Lira usually explained herself in complex riddles that no one could decipher; a smart ploy to get out of questions she would rather not answer.

1) Yes, yes! Inform that trait!

Update: This line is completely gone, though Gilly’s dumbass question remains.

2) This is all really dumb banter well and good, except they already know why Lira woke them up. Lira literally told them that if the Captain doesn’t sleep, they shouldn’t either.

3) Since Andi seems to have frequent trouble sleeping and Lira knows this well enough to know where to find her when she’s not in bed, why are they surprised?

Whatever.

We get some more exposition in the form of tepid banter, and we “find out” that Breck is super tall and big and was “pegged for arson” and on the run with a fucked-up Gilly when Andi found them two years ago. Gilly had been saved from becoming a child soldier or some shit.

Update: Breck is no longer pegged for arson and in fact, remembers nothing of her past at all, to the point where they all assume her origin, while it’s outright stated in the earlier version.

Gilly’s gun is still golden and still double-triggered, which still makes no goddamn sense, though I didn’t mention it in my original snark, so I’ll do it now: Double-barreled? A thing. Double action? A thing. Double trigger? Apparently was a thing on old SHOTGUNS. And I’m sorry but a 13-year-old child wouldn’t be carrying a golden fucking shotgun at her hip.

They mention that they don’t have much money, only 300 “Krevs,” which tells me nothing. A small “they couldn’t even fill a whole tank of fancy sci-fi space fuel for that” or similar would’ve sufficed, you know.

[Andi] stared at her blades once more before returning them to their harness. If only she could put her memories away just as easily.

Andi informs them about a new job on some standard desert planet, because apparently drug dealing isn’t very lucrative in this world.

Breck shrugged. “Any money is good money, if it brings us more food stores.” “And ammo,” Gilly said, cracking her knuckles like the soldier she was.

1) Yes, we get it, Gilly likes to shoot bang-bang-pew-pew guns.

2) I love how the girl rescued from becoming a child soldier is now called a soldier. Very top-notch stuff, there.

3) I didn’t know only soldiers cracked their knuckles.

Andi calls Lira “Lir,” because I guess that one extra letter takes too much effort, telling her to take them to Andi’s informant.

“As you wish.” Lira punched the destination coordinates for Vacilis into the Holoscreen on the dashboard, readying the ship for flight.

Andi turned in her seat. “Breck, Gilly, go to the vault and do a weapons check. Then make sure the Big Bang is fully loaded. I want you two ready, should anything go wrong.”

Why are the guns in the vault.

Why does the ship have a vault.

Where are their engineers.

Holoscreen.

Big Bang.

This is a masterpiece.

Update: “As you wish.” Lira punched the destination into the control panel’ s holoscreen. A diagram of Mirabel illuminated the room with blue light, stars floating around their heads and the little planets that made up each major system orbiting their suns. A bright line traced from their current location near an unnamed moon, too barren for habitation, to Vacilis, almost half a galaxy away.

Lira scrutinized the route, then minimized the map and readied the ship for hyperspace travel.

Andi turned in her seat. “Breck, Gilly, go to the vault and do a weapons check. Then make sure the Big Bang is fully loaded. I want you two ready in case we run into any trouble once we arrive in the Taavina System.”

Gilly skipping along behind Breck, her golden gun bobbing against her tiny frame.

This is the second mention of Gilly’s stupid golden gun. If they have to take on dangerous jobs with uncertain pay to get by, why the fuck does this brat have golden guns and why the hell does Andi have electric katanas?

I’m hoping that it’ll be explained that gold isn’t actually worth much on an intergalactic level, but I doubt that much thought was put into this.

Since space travel is so exciting, Andi falls asleep and we get an obligatory show of her super edgy nightmare.

It’s some girl dying (whose name is Kalee) and it’s all bloody and gruesome and oop, Lira wakes Andi up because they’re being chased by what I can only hope is the space po-po.

Lira curled her lip in annoyance. She tapped a blue fingertip on the Holoscreen, changing it to the rear-cam, where Andi could just see the ships soaring toward them.

REAR CAM.

Ok.

And yes, we get it. Lira is very blue. WE GET IT, WE REMEMBER, I PROMISE.

Update: She tapped a blue fingertip on the holoscreen, changing it to the rear-cam, showing Andi a faraway look at the ships soaring behind them.

Andi’s mind raced, calculating all possible scenarios for their current predicament.

Listen, I get that battle strategies in space are a thing that most people, especially people like Shinsay, probably don’t understand, but couldn’t you at least have tried showing us Andi’s thoughts? Pull something out of your ass for all I care, it doesn’t have to be right, it just has to be convincing.

Anyway, Andi’s brilliant mind comes to the conclusion that the ships tailing them must’ve been cloaked, because Lira would NEVAR let anyone get the drop on them. This raises a bunch of questions, which I'll go into in a sec.

Andi closed her eyes. Black holes ablaze, she was fiked.

This is what passes for cursing now, I guess.

Update: “Fike” has been completely removed from the book, and replaced with “screwed” in this instance. YOU DIRTY COWARDS.

“Cloaking is useless at this point,” Lira said, as she readied the gears, slamming buttons, tapping in codes. Andi felt the Marauder groan in response to Lira’s touch. “Damn their starshined tech.”

The narration just said that the Marauder doesn’t have fancy cloaking tech, but I’m guessing it does but it’s ... inferior to the cloaking tech of the space po-po? The Marauder also seems to have inferior detection tech, which raises the question of how exactly they’ve been evading the space po-po for this long (which the narration says they have) despite their clearly inferior setup, especially since (which the narration also mentions) the “Mirabel Patrol” has had their ship pegged for years.

Also, “starshined” is a bad thing, so a curse basically, which makes no sense because you’d expect most people to have a fairly positive view of the stars, but it also makes the phrase “damn starshined” redundant.

Update: “Cloaking is useless at this point,” Lira said as she readied the gears, slamming buttons, tapping in codes. “Engines are still too hot to go back into hyperspace. Damn their tech.”

“Get us out of this, and I’ll see to it that we get devices of the same caliber.”

“And bigger guns?” Lira asked, her blue eyes wide. “We’ll barely scrape by if we have to turn and fire on them. We only have one Big Bang left.”

Andi nodded. “Much bigger guns.”

Sooo is Big Bang ... a special kind of ammunition? Because then you’d just need to buy more ammo instead of upgrading the ship’s guns. Is it a one-use-only gun? That would be incredibly stupid, but that’s what this phrasing implies. Is it one of the main guns on the ship, and the other Big Bangs have been blasted off? What’s going on?

Also, how is Andi expecting to afford technology of the same caliber as the space police while they don’t have money to hire a cook and seem to be struggling getting food in the first place?

Lira says that “the stars may align” for them, which contradicts “starshined” as a curse, and they blast off into hyperspace to evade the space po-po. What was the point of all that if you could just do that in the first place? Do you want to upgrade your ship so you can kill some po-pos? Do they realize more will just show up so upgrading evasion tech is better than upgrading your guns in their particular case? If they’re smugglers, one would presume they would rather stay hidden and stealthy vs outright space battle.

Update: As previously mentioned, their engines are now “too hot” to get back into hyperspace, so now the chase makes a bit more sense.

Well, whatever.

That was the beginning of Zenith!

I suddenly feel like playing Mass Effect.

[itispossibleihaveissues]

This Night - Chapter 2

TITLE: This Night AUTHOR: Mikimoo RECIPIENT: tristen84 PAIRING: JayDick RATING: Mature WARNINGS: Off screen Non-Con, murder of innocent young people, violence SUMMARY: The Red Hood and Officer Grayson are on the same case. A small misstep has far reaching consequences for them both. 

Chapter 1 is here

Fourteen hours later saw them scoping out the bunker holding Ruiz. Lying in the undergrowth and watching through night vision goggles they argued extensively about the best options to gain entry. Between them, they had eventually figured out the only possible way to infiltrate the building when they were low on pretty much everything, and one of them was running a fever and could barely walk. 

But hey, they had faced worse odds. Apparently one year Dick had gone into Blackgate alone, while suffering from the flu and he had come out okay. Although he could actually walk unaided on that occasion, which had probably helped.

But they were committed to this madness, so they had to make sure they did everything right – there wasn’t going to be another chance.

The plan was pretty simple and involved relying on far more luck than Jason was comfortable with. Each of these outposts had a command center, a hub where all the surveillance equipment was. It could be manned by two to four people and from there, the guards and gang members could be directed toward any threat. If they could get Dick in there, he could guide Jason to Ruiz and simultaneously send the guards to the opposite side of the compound. Then Jason and Ruiz, who hopefully could walk under her own power, would fetch Dick and they would escape into the jungle. Simple.

If they survived that, then they would head for the rendezvous point, where maybe they would get picked up by a friendly Merc, or maybe get shot to death, depending.

Just to be clear, Jason hated this plan. Even though he had helped come up with it.

 They intended to take the electrics out, using the dark to improve their chances. As Jason had lost his helmet and his mask to the gang, and his high spec night vision goggles to the river, they only had his lightweight emergency spare to work with. They both needed to have at least a little night vision for their separate tasks, so they carefully cut free one of the lenses for Dick, and Jason wore the other one as it was intended. Only using one eye to shoot was risky so he planned to use a flashlight where ever possible. They had rigged up the second lens for Dick using a combination of fast drying glue from Jason’s kit and the elastic from his boxers. Never let it be said they weren’t experts in improvisation. Dick seemed extremely amused to be wearing a part of Jason’s underwear on his head.

Jason would never understand that guy as long as he lived.

The first stage went surprisingly well, despite a minor spat on the merits of murdering the guards, versus just incapacitating them. Jason reluctantly capitulated to avoid stressing Dick out further, although his terms had rather a lot of scope – he promised he wouldn’t kill during this operation, unless it was necessary to save a life – that could give him a little wiggle room and left plenty of space for coming back and annihilating the whole fucking lot of them after he got Dick and Ruiz out safely.

 They made the command center with little trouble – a fact that made Jason nervous; the theme for this whole mission had been that if it’s too easy, then disaster is sure to follow.

Mostly Jason was concerned about leaving Dick when he was barely mobile.

The infection, while having been slowed by the antibiotics was both painful and weakening - to the point where he could hardly go two paces without needing to lean on Jason. The added pressure on the wound from attempting to walk was causing enough discomfort that Dick was sweating profusely, his face set in a grimace.

But his options were to leave Dick, or try to carry him down the dark corridor to wherever they were keeping Ruiz, and that was not going to happen. It didn't mean he was happy about it though.

 He adjusted his earpiece. At least they had comms. Who knows what they would have had to construct if they hadn’t?

“Dickie-Bird to Jay-Bird,” Dick said over the line. “Do you read me?”

“Loud and clear, asshole. Now shut up,” Jason muttered, making his way carefully down the dark passageway.

Dick directed him, using the plans he had on the tablet, and the security cameras. There were a few tense moments when Jason had to crouch down and stay silent as guards ran past – directed towards a fake disturbance elsewhere – but otherwise the plan went smoothly.

There were two guards on the door to the cell they hoped Ruiz was being held in, and Jason thought he did an admirable job of not killing them. Although he hit them hard enough to cause permanent brain damage, Dick didn't say anything over the comm line – maybe he didn't realize, or maybe he didn't care. Jason wasn't sure which option he preferred.

“I opened the electronic lock,” Dick said, over the line. “You just have to pick the regular one.”

Jason examined it closely. It was sturdy, but he had picked worse locks when he was barely out of kindergarten.

“Once you're inside I won't have a visual, so keep me in the loop, OK?”

“Yes, boss.” Jason muttered back, as he slid his second pic into place. “It’s not like I haven't done this before, you know.”

“Well normally I get to be there, not stuck in a dark room with computers and trash everywhere. Although this swivel chair is super nice, a proper ergonomic office chair like the ones Tim ordered when he was playing CEO at Wayne Enterprises.”

“I know you like to flap your mouth when you’re feeling anxious, but some of us are concentrating.”

“Whatever. You can pick locks in your sleep, you're just being difficult. Do you think they ordered this chair in specially? Like, does one of the bad guys have a bad back or carpal tunnel or something, so needed some extra support?”

Jason ignored him, although he could feel his face trying to smile. He ruthlessly tried to stop it though, he had to at least pretend to still have some dignity.

“Do you think they ordered it from Ikea or somewhere? Or is there a special store for criminal underground bases -”

“I'm in,” Jason interrupted, and Dick fell silent. Jason realized he was probably worried about what Jason might find behind that door. Was Ruiz alive? Had she been tortured? Was she mobile? Their chances of escaping this place fell dramatically if she wasn't. “I'll bring her out,” he said, with more confidence than he felt.

He opened the door slowly. The room was dark, but the light from his torch illuminated a similar set up to Dick's cell. A broken chair was propped against one wall and a mattress lay on the floor. Cuffs hung from the wall and Jason's senses pinged with alarm before he even finished registering something wasn't right.

He dodged down and away as he sensed movement to his left and narrowly missed being brained by a chair leg. Ruiz swung again, and he caught the blow on his upraised arm. The impact made him stumble and drop his flashlight, but he managed to catch her before she could go for his face again.

“Ruiz, stop! It's Grayson's PI friend, I've come to get you out!”

She stopped struggling but he could feel her muscles still tense and ready to fight. He moved them slightly, so the light from his fallen torch caught his features.

Her breathing was harsh in the sudden quiet. “What’s you name?” she asked, finally.

“Jason. I'm going to let you go - don't clobber me.” He stepped back, and she moved away, chair leg still upraised, clutched in her hand. Her knuckles were bruised; this wasn't the first time she had tried to fight her way out.

They looked at each other for a moment, her assessing him; searching his face and quickly skimming over his weird get up – the patchwork of weapons and gear he had on was definitely not the same as the guards and gang members in this place, who appeared to be something of a paramilitary unit.

In turn he gave her a quick visual check for injuries and obvious signs of drugs. She seemed mobile and her eyes were clear so it appeared they hadn't bothered to incapacitate her like they had Dick. He wasn't sure if that was a good sign or a bad one.

“Why did you come back for me?” She asked, suddenly. “Where's Grayson? He was shot.”

“Yeah, I know. He’s alright, for now.” The comms were open, and Jason could hear Dick's breathing in his ear, a little fast with relief, a little heavy with pain, but still strong and comforting. “I got him out first, then we came back for you,” Jason added, when she still looked skeptical.

“We? Even though he got shot?”

“Yeah, he's an idiot that way.”

She nodded and rolled her eyes. It was a very: 'I have had to work with Dick Grayson and he's a moron' expression. Dick seemed to cause a similar series of facial tics and eye rolls where ever he had to spend time with people in a professional capacity. It was weirdly endearing.

“You have a gun?” Ruiz asked, all business now.

“I got three.”

“Give me one.” She held out a hand. Her short fingernails were torn and bloody, and although he wasn't sure if that had happened when she attacked a person or liberated the chair leg, Jason was pretty certain her opponent had come off worse.

“You going to shoot me with it?” he asked. She didn't know him from Adam, and if he had been in her situation, he would be pretty cautious and a little trigger happy.

“Don't be a fool,” she said, “I could never escape without help. And I'm not going to shoot my rescuer, it’s bad manners.”

Jason grinned and handed her his Ruger. He liked Ruiz, and the competent way she checked the gun over gave him confidence that she would provide decent back up for getting Dick out of this place safely.

Apparently finding the gun to her liking, she dropped the chair leg. Jason winced at the hollow echoing sound it made when it hit the stone floor.

“What was that?” Dick asked in his ear.

“Chair leg. We're heading back your way. We clear?”

“Yeah, for now. You might want to avoid the southwest corridor and take the longer route – there's a lot less activity in that direction.”

“Understood,” Jason glanced at Ruiz who was looking at him steadily.

“That Grayson?” she asked.

“Yeah, he’s giving us directions.”

Ruiz nodded. “Where are we going?” She asked quietly, as they slipped back into the dark corridor.

“We're heading towards the central command center to pick up Grayson. He's not especially mobile so we may have to do that literally.”

“Wonderful,” Ruiz said, and Jason smothered another grin, he could actually hear her eyes roll.

 Their plan had been working beautifully. With Dick directing both the guards and Jason, they had avoided any confrontation. However their luck couldn't last. Because the universe just couldn't let him catch a fucking break.

As they turned the corner, the lights flickered on. Someone must have activated a backup generator not attached to the mains.

“Houston, we have a problem,” Dick said.

 Jason growled in response. They were so damn close. And this was supposed to be the easy bit.

“The bad guys have caught on. You have three heading towards you from the northeast and another three already in front of you.”

“They know where we are?” Jason asked, signaling Ruiz to pause. She did so, looking grim and determined.

“Not yet.” Dick's voice was a little strained and there were clattering noises in the background.

“Dick, talk to me. What's happening?”

“They know they've been compromised. They have the command center surrounded, and are switching off my electrics one by one.”

“Fuck!”

“Stop yelling in my ear!” Dick complained. “I may not be able to do any wild acrobatics, but I can deal with this. However, I've already lost my visual of you. You're on your own.”

“Dick, you have a gun, for fuck sake, use it if you have too.”

“Jason-”

“No, Dick. I know you can - you shot me pretty good after all.”

“Yeah sorry about that. Look, I'll use all the tools I have, Jay. Head for the exit, I'll catch you up.”

Like hell that was happening. “Not a chance, Flyboy.”

“Working with you is so annoying!” Dick had the nerve to sound exasperated.

Jason wanted to punch him. “Working with me is annoying? Me? What about you?” He was aware his voice was rising, and had to consciously rein it in a bit.

“Can you please have this domestic another time?” Ruiz interjected, scowling at him in bemusement.

Jason ignored her. “We're coming to get you, and that's final!” he said, trying to keep his voice low.

“Jason, don't be such a stubborn -” And then there was nothing but static.

“Dick?” Jason's heart was pounding. He couldn't cope with going through this again so soon after the last time. His stress levels were through the damn roof. “Dick!” He wasn't really expecting an answer but the silence still felt raw and bitter. “We lost contact,” he told Ruiz, gruffly.

“I heard. We going to go rescue him?” Ruiz asked. She looked scared and angry, and like she'd had more than enough of this shit.

“We're going to try.” More rescues. How many were there going to be, before there was an end to this?

Ruiz nodded and fell into step behind him.

[itsjaybullme]

The 10 Best Shoulders Exercises for Beginners

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Head and Shoulders Above

Westend61 / Getty

So you’ve joined up at a gym (or maybe built your own) and dedicated yourself to getting bigger shoulders? Awesome—you’ve come to the right place. We’ve collected 10 of the most tried-and-true shoulder moves around, exercises that will build each part of your deltoid muscles as well as your traps and your triceps.

But before you start clangin’ and bangin’ in your basement sweatbox, you should know there’s more to gaining shirt-stretching shoulders than a volume-focused lifting program.

“Some lifters think training for hypertrophy means you must grab super-light weights and do as many repetitions as you can,” says Chris Falcon, personal trainer and founder of Chicago’s Reactive Performance Enhancement Center. “I am a firm believer that you if you want your muscles to grow, the load must be substantial, and the amount of force you are generating to move the load must be high and consistent.”

When utilizing the following best shoulder exercises, Falcon suggests using a load between 50–70% of your one-rep max, once you’re certain you have the movement patterns down. (Bad form + heavy weights = an injury waiting to happen, especially in a very mobile joint like the shoulders.)

As always, make sure you warm up your shoulders with exercises like these—they’ll go a long way to ensure you don’t suffer from routine-breakers like tendonitis.

FEATURED WORKOUT: SUMMER SHRED 2017>>

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1. Wall Slide

Why: This one should be done with no weights at all—and before every shoulders workout. Why? “One of the key things to keep in mind when training shoulders is you need to have the requisite mobility in the shoulder to press overhead,” says Chris Cooper, a personal trainer and co-owner of Active Movement & Performance in Long Island, NY. “If that is lacking, it could cause potential problems for the shoulder joint.”

How: Stand against a wall, arms at right angles, pointed up like football goal posts. Slowly, slide your arms up straight overhead, then back to right angles, keeping your forearms and backs of hands against the wall (if you can).

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2. Free Weights Overhead Press

Jay Sullivan / M+F Magazine

Why: The overhead press—hold weights at armpits and press straight-up overhead, with narrow or wide grip—is pretty much the go-to move for front and middle delt building. “Using a dumbbell or kettlebell allows for more freedom of movement with the press, and isolates each shoulder, so if one is weaker than the other, you can work on that,” Cooper says. It also works the core, especially if you do one side at a time. Falcon likes Arnold presses (which start with neutral grip and end with fingers facing forward). “Done together, alternating, or single-arm, these presses are fantastic for building mass in the shoulders,” he says. “This exercise allows for full ROM, and internal and external rotation in the shoulder joint, making this a very complete exercise.”

How: Check out our videos on properly executing the seated dumbbell shoulder press or the Arnold press.

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3. Barbell Overhead Press

Alex Mares-Manton / Getty

Why: The gold standard in heavy lifting for the shoulders, a barbell overhead press is often better used as a progression to the free weights (the opposite of what’s typical), once you're able to get the full range of motion—that is, getting that bar all the way overhead. “The barbell is the perfect tool for being able to load and press a large amount of weight,” says Cooper. “This can overload the shoulder muscles, and cause them to grow.”

How: Watch our video on executing the overhead barbell press.

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4. Half-kneeling Landmine Press

M+F Magazine

Why: Need a safer alternative for lifting heavy if you have limited overhead mobility? Cooper suggests using the “landmine,” which allows you to press a larger load overhead than you could with free weights, in a movement pattern that is kinder to tight shoulders. Do it half-kneeling (bring up the knee opposite your working arm), which works the core and allows you to get under the weight.

How: See our instructions for a landmine press here.

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5. Standing Cable Face Pull

M+F Magazine

This cable move hits both the rear delts and the back. You’ll use a rope attachment at chin-level to, in essence, perform a wide-elbow row while standing up (with soft knees, please). “I prefer this exercise over high barbell pulls, as it hits the posterior delts brilliantly, and is a bit easier on the rotator cuff,” Falcone says. “It also doesn't leave much room for cheating.”

How: Check out our instructions for the cable face pull.

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6. Chest Supported Rear-delt Raises

Hero Images / Getty

Also known as “reverse flyes,” you’ll do these by straddling a bench and leaning your chest on the inclined back, then raising dumbbells out to the sides (sort of like your arms are wings). “A great exercise for maintaining optimal posture, this exercise targets the posterior fibers of the shoulder,” says Cooper. “Most people are very anterior-delt dominant from doing lots of presses, so these work to counteract that.” Definitely an essential if you want healthy, well-rounded shoulders.

How: Check out our video instructions for the bent-over lateral raise, which is the same basic exercise, except bent over instead of on a bench.

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7. Single-arm Lateral Raise

Teresa Recena / EyeEm / Getty

Why: Doing a lateral raise with one arm at a time can potentially even out any muscle imbalances. Furthermore, “it’s a great middle-delt isolator that also works your core,” says Falcon. Watch your form carefully, switching to a neutral hammer grip and scaption if you have rotator cuff issues.

How: Like this, except just one arm at a time.

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8. Prone Shoulder Press

svetikd/ Getty Images

Why: By switching up your body angle—lying face-down on a bench or even a stability ball—the overhead press movement becomes much more about your rear delts as well as your core (rather than your front or middle delts, which it targets when standing upright). “This one definitely involves a bit more strength and stability, but adding moves like this to your mass routine only leads to greater gains,” Falcon says.

How: Lie on the floor face-down with (light) dumbbells in your hands. Extend your arms parallel to the ground (“over your head,” if you were vertical instead of horizontal). Make sure not to let the dumbbells touch the ground. Bring them back to your shoulders. That’s one rep.

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9. Trap Bar Shrugs

Katherina Kolupaeva / EyeEm / Getty

Why: “No one can deny that a nice pair of upper traps only highlights the delts,” says Falcon. “I like these because I think that maintaining a neutral hand position is easier on the shoulder when working with heavier weights.”

How: Load a trap bar (sometimes also called a hex bar), step inside it, and deadlift it to stand up. Then shrug your shoulders up, and lower them down with control.

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10. Front + Lateral Raise

Matthew Leete / Getty

Why: Independently, front raises (lift dumbbells straight in front of you, stopping parallel to the ground) and lateral raise (same idea, but arms go to the sides) are great for targeting the front and middle delts, respectively. As a combo, “I like how alternating between planes provides just enough muscle confusion to keep the shoulders screaming,” says Falcon. To make sure those shrieks aren’t because of rotator-cuff irritation, keep your hands in a hammer grip (thumbs up) and narrow your lateral raise slightly from 180° (so you can see your hands in your peripheral vision), in what’s known as “scaption”. Also: No matter what you see all those gym rats do, go lighter than you’d expect to start and make sure you go to full range of motion—no cheating.

How: See our instructional videos for the dumbbell front raise and the dumbbell lateral raise.

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from Bodybuilding Feed http://www.muscleandfitness.com/workouts/shoulder-exercises/10-best-shoulders-exercises-beginners via http://www.rssmix.com/