#i do apologise for this i dont control the brain

[watmalik]

It's mutual.

[cass1opi4]

Hi! I've never seen a reader with Tourette's, do you think you could write a spiderman|peter Parker x m! Reader where they're on a mission and the reader's tics give away their location? That would be awesome <3

double trouble | peter parker

a peter parker x reader

he/him pronouns

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

for the first time in what felt like his whole life, y/n had finally felt like a real person. his whole life, he’d been spoken to with pity - or bullied and provoked. no middle ground. either people would purposely trigger his tics, finding humour in the condition that had come upon him at seven, or tiptoed around him, walked on eggshells after knowing about his tourettes.

the boy sat beside him had never, not once, dared to do either. partially because he somehow had yet to clock onto the repetitive behaviours, yet also partially because it was not who he was as a person to judge someone because of such a thing.

he talked to y/n like he was normal. because he was in fact almost completely normal, bar the ability to literally move things with his mind. “we can talk about anything, right?” he spoke, unsure about whether or not he should bring up his thoughts.

“of course.” peter nodded, turning his head away from the sunset and toward his friend. “whats going on in the head of yours?”

“i..” he sighed “i feel like my entire life - everybody else has been in on some massive inside joke that only i’m not apart of.” it didn’t make sense, yet at the same time it made perfect sense. “it feels as if they all know something i don’t, and because of that everybody finds a way to point out my cluelessness.”

peter took the words in for a second, before agreeing “i feel that, i feel crazy sometimes.” y/n ushered him to continue “somehow people always find something in me they don’t like, which is messed up because i try my best to do everything right - but it feels so easy to fail.”

“thats why your dad left!” the boy instantly regretted the statement, following it up with a rushed apology, being interrupted by his friend.

“thats why yo momma love me more.” he shrugged simply, smug smile on his face, a gasp left y/n’s mouth.

“my momma dead.” he frowned, peters face dropped, fear filling his face “she isnt! i saw her this morning!”

“thank fuck.” he sighed “do you remember when i first found out about your tics? that was funny.”

y/n laughed “i do.. you were so freaked out.”

the two were hidden behind a wall, listening in on a conversation - well. one of them was. whilst peter was hyper-focused on the talking going on right next to them, y/n was in his own head about everything, focusing so hard on not blurting out anything that could ruin the mission. though, his tics were like coughs - the more you focused on not coughing, the more likely you were to grow your need to do so.

his heart was beating so hard he could hear it in his head, and unfortunately, this distracted his thoughts. “penis parker!” he belted out, eyes widening after he did so. “fuck.” he sighed, being shot at. he floated a desk, throwing it at the group of bad guys before gripping onto peter as the boy webbed out of there.

“what the fuck?!” he yelled once they got to safety, dragging his hands across his face as he ripped of his mask “how did you even find that out? how-“

“you’re peter?!” y/n gasped, mouth agape. now peter was even more lost. if he’d just outed himself for no reason, why did the other boy shout out such a condescending statement? “i- er..”

“why would you do that?” peter looked hurt, watching y/n pull off his gas-mask and frown. “y/n? what?!”

“i have tourettes.. i- i like, say things that are out of control. sometimes my brain and my body don’t communicate that great, i dont want to do or say these things, but i just do? i’m really sorry.”

“why are you sorry about that? if you can’t control it you shouldn’t have to apologise about it.” peter spoke “im sorry for freaking out, i honestly had no idea - kinda thought you were just being mean..”

“a lot of people assume so.”

the sky was now dark, void of stars thanks to the light pollution in new york, but the scene was still strangely beautiful. the new found silence between the two was nice, not an uncomfortable one, just two friends reminiscing on one of their first missions together.

peter hesitated to break the silence, not sure if his next statement would mean enough to ruin such a nice moment between them.

“can i say something weird?” he asked, watching his best friend nod, yet let out a rather contradicting ‘nuh-uh.’ “i.. getting to know you this past year or so has been what i’d consider the best part of my life. you’re so good.. in everything you do, you’re so good. i don’t think ive ever met a person who balances kind, handsome and funny as well as you do. i just.. i dont know. i-“

“are you confessing to me right now, parker?” y/n grinned, praying his assumption was correct, if he was wrong he’d deem it the most embarrassing interaction known to man.

peter bit his lip, nodding. “yeah, i am. i’m sorry.” his eyes shifted from the sky, locking eyes with, what he considered to be, an even more breath-taking sight. “you’re just so.. you. and i like that. in a world of people all trying to be the same you get to be you.”

“i’m so glad i have you in my life.” y/n thought aloud, moving his hand slightly to touch with peter’s “penis parker! you treat me like a person. and you’re so fucking unreal, you look hot doing everything- which is weird, because most people have at least one thing they look disgusting doing. but, god, even the way you eat pizza knocks me the fuck out.”

peter just smiled to himself, leaning his head on y/n’s shoulder, earning an arm wrapped around his shoulder, and a small kiss on the head.

for the first time in what felt like his whole life, y/n had finally felt like more than a person. he felt loved.

˚₊‧꒰ა . ——— ˗ˏˋ ✮ ˎˊ˗ ——— ˖ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

HI SKIBIDISSSS, im so sorry this is rushed i really want to go play royale high bc im brainrotted beyond belief unfortunately. im also just so out of writing motivation that writing feels like a choreeee. im ALSO sorry if this has inaccuracies! i have a friend with tourettes and got their help with a few traits in this. though, in my friends words their tourettes “isnt severe and mainly vocal.” so base it on that. thankyou for reading!!! sorry its short.

[ysines]

im gonna shoot myself if i see one more person say in complete confidence that the hightiers were never held accountable for what they did, that john was punished too severely in comparison, or that the high tiers didnt grow as characters.

johns actions are much more extreme than the high tiers', except maybe arlo. isen, blyke, remi, and most other high tiers were more focused on their own lives than terrorizing weaker people. most of the high tiers' (basically all of them sans arlo) problems were naivete, not realizing the flaws in their system. while johns actions did serve the purpose of showing the high tiers what its like to be weak so that they can realize what is wrong with the hierarchy, johns violence was more extreme than his bullies' and lowkey he was terrorizing EVERYONE, even the people who never did anything to him. johns actions are more extreme, so he gets more extreme repurcussions.

unordinary fans look me in the eye and say that john, who had been terrorizing everyone for at least a month Minimum, shouldnt have to deal w people bsing terrified of him. girl use ur brains. people are scared of john bc he has proved himself unreasonable and cruel, while none of them had problems w arlo (bc arlos actions towards most of them were 1. almost 3 years ago, and 2. considered normal by their society bc as the leader of the school he is also considered the disciplinarian whenever students act up, not considering teachers. his beating up people was different than johns beating up people) and none of the other hightiers had done really anything. cecile isnt innocent btw but none of them had problems w her either bc the few interactions weve seen her have with the common student (juni) seemed friendly..basically the people had little reason to fear the other high tiers outside of their power but john had taken his time making himself a person to fear. fr he was trying to terrify them?? why are we prtending that its unreasonable for them to be scared of him can we please be serious

also johns legal punishment in new bostin and suspension in wellston were both reasonable bc he was regularly hospitalizing people and completely out of control. i dont think u guys realize how strong john is. whenever someone who is seriously described as godlike in power ("god" tier as a term is not that much of an exaggeration by regular human standards) starts going around and beating the shit out of everyone important in a show of power something has to be done. john was EXTREMELY dangerous. also "the punishment wasnt equal" is literally kind of the plot. johns mental spiral at wellston was supposed to expose the unfairness in the system and show how bullies and vicious people should not be able to get away with the things they do to weaker people. we dont think john is that strong bc we're surrounded by the strong in the story, but he is IMMENSELY powerful and should not have been left unchecked. (note, im not saying he deserved readjustment. there should have been a punishment for his literal several counts of felony assault but readjustment was literally psychological torture and he was a month into being 16.)

the hightiers were criticised and held accountable, either by themselves or others. arlo knows full well that he played apart in johns mental spiral and apologised multiple times. remi knows full well that she was naive and should have realized the problem sooner, then takes active steps to solve it and creates a safe space for people of different ranks. blyke literally apologised for shooting at john and had a whole arc of realizing low tier conditions during the x rei outings and trying to be nicer to john and low tiers. idk if isen apologised properly but it is also clear that he knows better than to do what hes done now. the safe house was literally their way of trying to fix their mistakes and be better going forward. aka taking accountability and then working towards being better people??? hello???

also saw somebody say that they acted like the royals had the "moral high ground"... as if they didnt. hello who were the ones actually fixing the problems. who were the ones with real solutions. john was the last in the cast to take accountability and work to be better. john was the schools resident terrorist ??? hospitalizer ??? FELON ??? he has literal FELONY ASSAULT charges fam. and LOTS of them. half his graduating class is actually crazy. since he was rank 427 or something when his ability hadnt come in yet, we can say that there were probably at least 100 people in each grade, since hs is 4 grades. a graduating class is a grade. john beat up 50 people not counting zirian and whoever else in different grades might have attended, not assuming the half the grade thing was an exaggeration. we also arent counting the charges he added at wellston itself. seriously this guy is an absolute menace and the royals were actually better than him morally i dont know why thid is a controversial take in the unordinary fandom. do i have to spell out why "guy with criminal charges for severely injuring 50+ people, probably sending them to the hospital considering he put HIGH TIER remi and blyke in the hospital, who has been terrorizing the school for a while at this point" is worse than "trio of individuals who were raised ignorant to their society's flaws realize the problem and take active steps to fix it, even being so kind as to eventually forgive the guy that put two of them in the hospital like a month prior"

the joker arc is as much johns mental spiral as it is the high tiers' character developments. if u somehow didnt realize that the characters were changing for the better then now u know why fhe english teacher wants you to analyze why the curtain is blue. media literacy come back the kids miss you

[wildshona]

World Turned Upside Down

In late June this year I got a panicked phone call from Amelia. She had been sent out to get some groceries. When she got back she could hear dad and Zoe in the bath. Nothing unusual in that is there she said to me he used to bathe us lots of parents wash their kids at the same time they have a bath. She listened at the door smiling and content she said. then she heard hinm say "Go on, catch the eel."

I guess at that moment everything changed. Catch the Eel was the First Game. she rang me what should she do. well nothing was going to happen quickly. dad was methodical and had a strange set of beliefs on the right time and age for everything. she could be catching the eel for a year. Amelia knew that as well as me. she also told me that he had removed her birth control pills from the bathroom cabinet. He was not happy and some roles had to be re-affirmed.

i spoke to chris when i got off the phone and we went into conference with Richard. Richard managed to get through to his contacts in Virginia. I had agreed with Amelia the best and safest time for her to ring me and the plan was set.

A few days later on a day when dad would be at work and then going straight to a church meeting of some sort Richard's friends arrived to move Amelia and Zoe out. It all went like clock work.

Well, not exactly. Amelia left dad a note apologising for leaving and taking Zoe and thanking him for all he had done for her, explaining that she couldn't see Zoe become Shona and that she had help to leave, the letter was wet with her tears apparently. I mean FUCKING HELL!!!!

My hope was that once she had got away some authorities would move in on him. Amelia hadn't thought about that she didnt have my sense for revenge. Not like me. But no, he knew he was in trouble, humiliation, degradation, prison. Not how he saw himself. and he was able to do something he couldn't have done here. he had bought a gun as soon as he got to the States. now he used it. FUCK FUCK FUCK.

You know i read a tumblr post the other day some idiot from Tennessee saying how proud he was that his was the first state to pass into law mandatory death sentences for child rapists. DONT YOU GET IT YOU FUCKING ARSE? We want thenm to suffer for years in fear and pain like we did - not go quietly into this good night. But then this was a man talking what the fuck does he know.

and we'll just leave aside the fact that he probably believes that if the child is pregnant from that rape she has to have the baby or she could go to jail or whatever,

Anyway, Amelia and Zoe have been in a safe place since then. She is totally unable to run her life because every decision was made for her up til now, After all, how many tumblr postings have i read about girls and women only need to know about fucking their man and pleasing their man they dont have to have a brain.

Anyway, Richard has arranged for her and Zoe to be escorted back to England at the beginning of November. She will stay with us for a while which will be interesting to say the least given the different lifestyles we have. But in the long term we are going to have to find some man who can look after her and turn into a thinking human being and not just one of the Stepford Wives.

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

Umm the usual assortment of lance allura and kuron for that ask thingy <33(can be all three or just one if you dont feel like it!!!) scurries away

Thank you for asking bestie ❤❤❤. Ngl my brain is baked these days so I'll be only one this time

Kuron-

three facts about them from my personal headcanons-

Huge ass nerd. Especially about classic lit but he's also this pic about it-

2. Enters 'Shiro look-a-like Cosplay' competition specifically to do the Worst Most Awful impression of Shiro, he also got the scar on the wrong side through makeup (its a coping mechanism leave him alone) If he and Shiro had a better relationship (and Shiro stopped being a bitch about the clone thing) they both would enter that competition and Kuron will win while Shiro will get last and Kuron doesn't know whether to laugh or cry or curl up in a corner and die

3. Fighting for his life anytime he gets a headache or a migraine. Constantly swinging between "it's just a headache! Haggar's dead! It's just a headache! Haggar's dead! It's just-" And "I am going to die"

a reason they suck-

Babygirl I know you are going Through it but you got to stop going behind your teams back and yell at them, Lotor was so not worth it.

Also is just so focused on being The Leader he forgot being Team Member

a reason they are great-

He's just trying so much???!?! Like he is doomed no matter what happened and he didn't even know it but he was still trying his best and he fought and tried to survive till his very last breath 🥺🥺🥺🥺 my boy he deserved better

a reason I relate to them-

I kinda don't? Relatability of a character isn't really my priority as much as studying them in a microscope is. If I had to I guess our tendency to not communicate well and be a bit snappish when stressed? The feeling of not being in control about anything in your life? Otherwise I can't think of any

(what I consider to be) the top tier otp/ot3 for that character-

I still think about toxic yaoi Kuron/Lotor that would never work and destroy them both btw if you even care

But also like screw romance give him as many friends as he wants

five things that never happened to that character that I believe should have happened-

Him getting to live

Him getting to live as his own person

Him getting to live as his own person in his own body

Him getting to live as his own person in his own body and not treated as Evil Shiro clone but a friend

Shiro fucking apologises to him (I know there are others who have done far FAR worse things to Kuron and Shiro has his own trauma and I like Shiro! But also listening to him being mean to my son no. 1 WHILE being mean about my tragic son no. 2 and all I could think of was, "Shut the fuck up forever actually bitch")

five people that character never fell in love with and why-

Again do I really have to answer this one?? Like can't we ignore all shipping fandom? Ugh fine

Haggar (for obvious reasons)

Zarkon (stated as above and in fact these two can be interchanged)

Sendak (sure Kuron hasn't actually met Sendak but he does have Shiro's memories and he sucks in all of them)

Iverson (because fuck him)

Slav (I don't hate Slav but I have to agree with people when they say that Slav and Shiro trigger each other's anxieties and trauma and this applies to Kuron as well)

[armaegddn]

can't believe im this late to react to dreamscape (10/10 perfect album i literally can't stop listening to it) but before i get into it im actually stunned at how fucking ungrateful some of these fans are. ive been a nctzen for years and ive never seen them slack off before. theyve given their all when it comes to their albums and it really really shows. dream is literally on tour rn and the timing of the album release is questionable at best and irresponsible at worst but that does NOT give these fans the right to criticise the boys in any manner. as someone who watched the live last night, i was absolutely devastated at the boys' reactions to those vile comments. like pls use your brains if you have a brain direct your complaints at the company??? why do they have to apologise for something they truly had no control over whatsoever. yall really acting like if there's no promotions, the album is doomed maybe stream it if you're that worried? and yes promotions are important, especially at the time of release, but that's something the company should have thought about before dropping the album while they're on tour and already overworked. pls don't call yourself fans if you're gonna hate on them for things sm has always sucked at. i dont wanna see them apologise for something like this ever again pls get a goddamn life. stream dreamscape ♡

[maryotism]

i dont think weve talked much ab how th creep actually got 3 n 4 but there are earlier asks ab th creep still having some influence over 4 so. what if it made 4 go back t th old castle site where th big ol maw is. like 4 is just walking alone thru th woods t th old castle in th middle of th night in a daze w hazy, unfocused eyes

as for 3?? well!! that cld prolly b from meme guardian senses!!! bc 4 is 1. being mind controlled basically so thats setting off alarm bells and 2. heading straight back to the giant fleshpit that took him over like a month or so ago. while 3 prolly doesnt. know exactly why he needs t find 4 he knows smth fucked up is goin on w 4, enough t make him run outside of th internet graveyard in th middle of th night

also bonus points if 4 snaps out of it when 3 gets his attention RIGHT b4 he touches th meat creature n pulls away, but it grabs him anyway n 3, trying t pull 4 away so he doesnt get pulled in again, gets pulled in as well

wow that was long sorry

THIS IS SO AWESOME ACTUALLY . do not apologise for writing long paragraphs because they are always so cool

i really like this idea but the idea i had in my mind is that the creep wouldve been slowly taking over his body . maybe eating away at his brain or soemthing until it gets access . then boom mind control

and i think it was stated somewhere that 4 , in an undead state , wouldve just . taken 3 with him back to the old castle . but yknow what i like the idea of 3 sensing somethings wrong and rushing to help

maybe the creep did that on purpose ! maybe it was luring 3 in by sending signals thru 4

[borathae]

OK this is ☔️ anon again, i have submitted my plot thoughts on MV now i unleash my feral mind

FIRSR i have had jimin brain rot since face so i still find this lil toxic morally gray character terribly sexy and i am craving smut of his character

realistically, he’s burnt his bridges with everything character besides tae so that’s the only smut that could happen with him still WHICH I WILL STILL TAKE we r in a vmin drought sibi we deserve it 😁

HOWEVER i am a simple man that has been watching jikook stage moments and so i am thirsty for this idea h e a r m e o u t:

the gang is all real mad at jimin and tae obviously so when yoongi wants to punish them for their actions loyal jungkookie goes “i’ll help!” and yoongi wants to punish tae more because of the betrayal he helped with (im a whore for angst so id love a whole chapter of that too) SO jungkook takes on jimin and he’s very mad at jimin but jimin is very sexy so a little tension builds up like with tae and jungkook in the dungeon. OC wants to make sure jungkook is okay during this or some other reason she just winds up in the room right, but jimin mind controls OC to be horny turning on kook cause he gets horny for OC and sexy evil people (me too buddy) and they’re about to fuck in front of jimin whos realizing that they’re still new at this so he convinces him to unchain him so jk won’t unleash control on OC who’s like cockdrunk and out of it. so jungoo unties him but is like i’ll do you one better and goes hard dom on jimin for his punishment!!! like finally rough dominant MV!kook!!!! anyways OC is horny asf so jimin is like i’ll take care of her let me eat her out so you don’t hurt her, kinda manipulating him and taking control of the situation more so she sits on his face and is facing kook who’s railing jimin and really dommy so he’s like pulling her hair and grabbing her and being rough but still careful cause he’s so motivated by his hate for jimin to not hurt her but is kinda dumb for letting this threesome happen (it’s okay 🫶we can’t be good at everything baby) so they all cum and jungkook is so proud of himself and is running on an adrenaline high so he goes to fuck OC next, but jimin is exhausted after cumming that hard so he passed out which makes OC pass out being released from his control and jk is like o h n o wtf did i just do and it ends in yoonkook angst when yoongi gets involved because i’m a masochist 🤪

IK THIS IS LONG AS HELL

I DINT MEAN TO MAKE FANFICCEPTION OR WRITE OVER UR WORK SIBI IM JUST HORNY IM SORRY

PLEASE NEVER APOLOGISE FOR SENDING IN MINI FANFICS FOR MY STORIES I AM EATING THAT SHIT UP LIKE A GOOD JUICY ASS ON A SUNNY SATURDAY MORNING MGFM 😩😩

FIRSR i have had jimin brain rot since face so i still find this lil toxic morally gray character terribly sexy and i am craving smut of his character

HONEY SAME nfandfn idk why I can't hate him, but I really can't afjdajsf he is so fandsfna

ALSO I DONT KNOW WHAT TO ADD TO THE JIKOOK THREESOME OTHER THAN "BRUH (BASSBOOSTED)" THIS SHIT JUST SLAPPED ME ACROSS THE FACE AND NOW I NEED THESE TWO TO RAIL THE OC INTO OBLIVION FAJDSJFAJDSFJA SFUCKADFKADSK

[findingklorhy]

"You can get up, get ready and go to work everyday. You must be fine" 

I can, but that doesn't mean I am. I can't tell you the last time I cooked/ate a decent meal. I can't remember the last time I properly showered. I can't remember the last time I actually looked after myself. My house looks like a bomb has gone off. My routine is completely out of whack. I show up because I have to. I show up because people will ask questions and I'll actually have to admit that I'm here again, in the place I said I'd never let myself get to. I'm so lost, again, I'm turning into someone I don't recognize, again. I'm so angry with myself that it's got to this stage, again. And even though I've got out of this before, and I know I will again, I can't see a way out. I cried for 6 hours straight yesterday. That's the most I have ever cried without grieving somebody. I just can't see the end. And if you ask me what's wrong, I can't tell you. What's wrong is me, why? I dont know. I'm just.. not myself, not right, just not ok. I'm lonely. If I'm in a room full of people, I feel alone. I know I keep isolating myself, but at least if I'm alone there's a reason I feel alone. It's stupid but stupid is where my brain is right now. It might upset some people, I know, I can't control it and all I can do is apologise but if I had any control over my emotions, my mental well-being, I wouldn't be where I am now. I know I'm saying and doing things I wouldn't normally do. I'm pushing people away who I shouldn't yet I still can't stop. This isn't a cry for help, this isn't asking for pity, I don't expect anyone to read it or anything. This is just me saying things out loud that I don't have anyone specific to say these things to. And some of you may insist you're here for me, and some of you will be genuine in that, but I won't actively burden you with my problems when you will all be going through things too. 

I'm not okay, but we know I will be one day. 

[variousqueerthings]

its taking so much self control not to search for all the messy trap, BJ, and hawk fics (that I hope exist!). also that bridget jones video is amazing, its so easy to forget how awkward real life fighting actually is lol. Im picturing BJ as darcy and trap as cleaver. side note, I also read your hawk/lyle and it was honestly so good, well written and soo hot!

oh hai, I didn't see you there!

EDIT: So this is not what your ask is about and I'm sorry, I went on a post-finale watching tangent, I apologise for not being funny anymore, even though the original post was light-hearted. GFA spoilers

*

It's funny, because now I've seen the finale, I feel like I need to wallow for a bit in the version of the story in which BJ and Hawkeye never see each other again.

It's got that sweet, sweet bitterness to it.

It's also funny, both my flatmate and my partner -- although I will hazard not to put words in their mouths -- are, let's say, not fond of BJ, because, well... he does many a highly questionably thing in response to the Horrors, especially to Hawkeye, but to me at least that ending, it's very much offering a final understanding of that character that softens him just a tad (to me, my feelings).

He undoubtedly, unthinkingly, several times messes up with Hawkeye within those two hours alone (which is worse: bringing up babies to the guy who's just had a breakdown brought on by the death of a baby, or leaving without a note, possibly knowing some element of the way that Trapper left, if not the entire thing???)

And then when Hawkeye, in a particularly harrowing way, reaches out to him (what would you do if I were bleeding out in your arms -- paraphrased) he brushes it off, because he's steadily become more depressed and therefore self-centred in how he gets through it all, and has used Hawkeye to project more than been able to look at him directly, to absorb any of Hawkeye's pain on top of his own. And here's Hawkeye invoking the most terrible, final goodbye he can think of, and BJ runs away from it. It's terrible!

And then!

And then he does it!

He does the one thing that Hawkeye asked of him, in the way he could do it. He left him a note. He made it as big as possible. He said the only thing that really needed to be said in it: goodbye.

Is it enough? After all of that? Maybe that's not really what the question can be (after all, a better man is not what Hawkeye's ever asked for from him, and in many ways BJ's bitterness about being a replacement for Hawkeye's pain about Trapper is not unfounded either -- the projection goes both ways, even if one is more overtly aggressive).

But he did it.

It's funny too, I was saying around s10 that I was really missing the big gestures of s7 -- I have yet to confirm on this my second watch (and feel free to let me know if there is an example I've forgotten), but I don't think BJ ever does anything as big for Hawkeye as he does in s7ep2, that sort of declaration, it was gargantuan in its scale and continued to exist in metaphor in those faded, pink pieces of clothing BJ kept for most of the rest of the show. I confess I missed the moment they were no longer there, but I believe at least not throughout the entirety of Goodbye, Farewell and Amen.

And this was a gesture, it was the thing I'd been wondering about the absence of and missing, and hoping BJ might in some way find it in himself to return to -- to not be so blinded by what he thinks he needs (to keep his eyes firmly on home and Peggy and Erin), but to value what he's had here, to value Hawkeye enough to grant him that goodbye.

SO after all of that thinking about BJ and Trapper potentially meeting (and tbh I think once I'm past this initial stage of just... sitting with the finale for 5 to 100000 business days, I will go back to thinking about it, the scenario is fantastic), I am currently, as it turns out in reaction to that ending, far more focused on the importance of goodbyes.

[cubedmango]

sorry to ppl who are here for aa i promise ill be back just give me like another month

[elpida]

"saying that makes me a burden and... and burdens dont get the work done..." she wasn't saying it to be sarcastic and cruel, it was just how her brain worked. the more she could ignore and push through, the better she'd be. no room for letting her reputation slip, but the girl laid there, so timid when it came to being touched, was not the same eris that wielded her knives with expert flair and precision. this version of eris was the one so few got to see, the real her, the one hidden behind her walls and masks.

"don't i? deserve to suffer?" she asked, for a moment she sounded soft, the bite taken from her tone. she was watching every single movement, from retrieving the supplies he needed to help and settled back on the floor in front of her. "i know, i'll sit up soon.." she admitted and then her face scrunched and god, she knew he was trying to be gentle, he was being so damn gentle and all she could think was that gentle or not.. all other hands did was hurt her. that is all humans hands ended up doing and it rang alarm bells in her head.

eris was breathing through flared nostrils, trying to control every urge to tear away. "fine- peachy-" she managed two gritted out words. despite the way she tried to fight the urge she with one swift movement she had wrapped her fingers around caston's forearm to stop any motion of dabbing by twisting. at first the grip was tight, a clear sweat on her forehead but after a few seconds her fingers loosened their grip. "i'm sorry." she never apologised but she knew she had to let him help, it was clearly just hard for her to let someone do that. "sorry." she repeated. "i find this hard." well at least for once eris was being brutally honest and not hiding behind sarcasm. whilst she'd never let them fall down her cheeks, there was a glint of tears forming in her eyes. "i didn't mean to.. did i hurt you? i never meant to i just... i didn't think. i'm sorry caston."

caston was more of a background man. plausible deniability. he could claim to the police, if apprehended, that he was merely speeding because his cat was unwell at the vet, or that his grandma was on her last legs in hospital. blood was rarely on his own hands, but that didn’t mean he hadn’t been injured on the job. it wasn’t the usual workplace incident—he wouldn’t get a hefty payout, paid time off, or a simple dodgy hip with insurance-paid physical therapy. one mistake meant death, or at the very least a few weeks of no pay, slurping instant ramen, holding frozen peas to the offending areas. there had been moments where he had needed to patch himself up after a particularly nasty heist, if the car flipped and rolled down a bank or if a flying bullet grazed his flesh. alcohol and gauze filled his bathroom cabinets alongside a plethora of pain killers—some legal, some otherwise—to help with the lingering soreness. caston was best at driving, but he wasn’t too bad at being a nurse either. “you could have told me that you’re suffering, that you’re hurt. you could have told me anything, eris. i know it’s me . . . ” there was a thin veil of hatred that was as translucent as wet tissue paper. in the moment, it was difficult to believe it was there at all. “but we have to stick together.” caston lowered onto his knees to inspect the wound, the water colour of pigment—yellows and purples and sore, angry pinks. “all of this is our fault. it doesn’t mean you deserve to suffer for it.” he sighed and peeled away to find the first-aid kit clinging to the wall; he pulled painkillers, antiseptic and gauze from the box, leaving it hanging open in case he needed to return for more supplies. he returned to his position on the floor, twisting off the cap of the bottle as he inspected the wound for any debris. it looked clean, but caston didn’t want to take his chances. “it’s gonna suck. i know you already know, but don’t stay laying down for too long. you gotta be upright. you gotta feel the pain.” he dabbed with a softness that didn't seem to belong to him. “how's that feeling?”

[just-a-fangirl13]

Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]

HOLY SHIT! 

This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)

SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE

Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!

Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]

Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)

He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again 

(ill get to my second reason in the end)

Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)

Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for. 

The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Rileys Feelings!

“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”

I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)

I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal. 

SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.

(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)

Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him. 

[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]

Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer) 

She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.

(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)

Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season! 

At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)

I was also a puddle on the floor. SO

“Mac look-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”

“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”

“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.

Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that) 

She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)

Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.

Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.

Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.

She then gives him a goodbye kiss. 

Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts. 

That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.

Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!

Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.

Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...

BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.

Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.

especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.

Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)

Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.

“Mac? Everything okay?”

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”

and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...

Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening. 

She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible. 

BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*

So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.

A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.

Again this is what I took away from it.

BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!

I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)

Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.

Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*

YUP IM HYPED. 

BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!

[slightly-gay-pogohammer]

Do you have any sly Cooper headcanons? I’ll apologise in advance if I’ve already asked you this. I have quite a few about Sly’s ancestors. And that Sly himself was fascinated with ballet for some reason.

SLY FASCINATED WITH BALLET

this is. so good i am adopting this headcanon now

and boy if you want headcanons uhhh. yea i have a few :)

sly isnt a full raccoon!! ofc most of his ancestors had raccoon partners (or adopted other raccoons) but conner actually married a cat! i know it's a gameplay thing, but him having cat genes is what makes him particularly silent when he walks... and makes him fall on his feet

penelope and murray are super besties and often watch wrestling matches together

a lot of coopers actually managed to take down clockwerk! i'm not saying the majority of them, but a lot of time they actually managed to destroy him piece by piece. they simply didn't know about the hatechip, so after a few years he regenerated

conner is one of the few who managed to take him down! his battle with him is what made him decide to stop this thief thing and instead focus on his recently pregnant wife because, man. that shit hurt

about conner, he was... a difficult person to deal with. he was similar to sly, but even more extra - and unfortunately, his ego was WAY bigger than his son's

the gang he had with mcsweeny and moreau (aka dr.m) was one he made out of need. he needed a brain and a brawn and found them. they were mostly co-workers at first, and his ego is what really changed the dynamics. m replied to that with frustration, especially since conner had the tendency to do what he wanted without listening to plans, while mcsweeny answered to that with ironic remarks. mcsweeny and conner eventually ended up becoming really good pals - the kind who obviously love eachother but can't stop messing with one another -, while with m, well.

m told clockwerk where conner and rosa (his wife) were hiding and is also the one who told him about sly :)

about that, sly isn't the only cooper clockwerk spared. he's the first one who didn't have the thievious raccoonus with him, thus making clocky's reasoning of "i wanted to show everyone that without ur book ur nothing" actually make sense but. the cooper's biggest weakness is empathy. clockwerk knows the best way to destry a cooper without killing them is taking it on their loved ones and, while not often... sometimes he spared one of them a child, a brother, a wife, a grandfather. leave them to mourn and wish they were the ones who died

aaaand on a better note, about the cooper and the thievious raccoonus! it's not actually written in english!! from slythunkamen, they all used a secret alphabet. it's often updated and a lot of times the meaning of new words is translated here and there, but it's something every cooper learns alongside their first language since they're little. sly would've gotten the book when he was 8 years old because he could read, write and speak fluently that second language

he taught murray and bentley to read it too, and bentley taught penelope after sly 3

back to clockwerk, i follow the hc (that i saw is kinda shared in the fandom?) that for regenerating, sometimes, he just waits for someone to take over him and then slowly takes control of their mind until he "comes back to life" - and i saw somewhere a post in which someone talked about a cooper doing it! actually, again not many... but more than one tried to take over. some of them seeked power, some other thought this could've put an end to this... some did it just for curiosity

otto van cooper became clockwerk out of curiosity and is actually the "incarnation" of clockwerk sly fights at the end of the first game

about people incarnated in clockwerk!!! neyla. i liked the idea of her being a claww gang member's relative, and i dig the idea of her being arpeggio's adoptive daughter :^3c

...about that idk about the english dub, but in italian they dont really mention who's the leader of the claww gang and. we all agree it's arpeggio right?

[velvetsehun]

okay lets chat, one to one

so... im back (kind of? I think?)

my last PSA before i went off grid kind of told you what was up, and honestly i feel like ive repeated the same story to too many people over the last year that physically talking about it anymore hinders any progression ive made towards getting better and feeling like me again but we'll keep it clean.

I have spent the last near year grieving not only for the loss of a friend, but grieving the loss of myself; when i left there really wasnt much of me left to give anyone and the thought of writing was so far out of my brain that everything that i put to a document just felt like someone else was typing and i wasnt in control - it was a sad reality that i was living in but i didnt have anything left to give any of you aside from empty words.

It doesnt make up for the fact that i kinda pulled a classic fic writer and disappeared quicker than someones parents in a really badly written pre-2015 fanfic, especially going before things could properly get done, and while i dont apologise for taking my own time for things, i apologise for just leaving you all - you've all been too good to me through everything

damn you're all still TOO good to me even in my absence (i gained like 200 followers while i was gone, are you okay, we've never been formally introduced, we'll work on that okay)

I suppose you want to know where im going moving forward? and whats gonna happen to the things i started and never finished?

well to cut it short, ill be doing them in my own time and publishing them when i see fit and if i see fit; thats the best course of action for things related to fics personally

i also want to branch out a bit in terms of the groups i write for, and making the writings shorter (but its also me so not) and writing one shots; please put your pitch forks down, im not going buck wild, but i kinda want to try my hand at writing for other groups i like (NCT i am heavily looking at you)

I kinda just want to get into the swing of things in my own way and in my own time, and do the things that i find enjoyable, it might be a hard pill to swallow but i never was paid to do this - its never been a job (i did have a job and i got fired, it actually would make a hilarious one shot idea tbh), this is a hobby and my personal enjoyment and its time to start treating it like it was, and 2022 is the year to do that baby!

If you're interested in the plans i have or even still remember who i am after everything, stick around, my ask is open - lets chat

AND IF YOU'RE NEW PLEASE INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO ME, HI!!!

yours lovingly,

R <3

[thesacredtwink]

Before i get into the meat of this aks

1) ZELDA NO YOU DONT NEED TO APOLOGISE, STIP NO- LET LINK AT LEAST HUG YOU BEFORE YOU GO

2) ZELMAL HOLDING LINKS HAND AND LAUGHING AT GROOSE BEING FREE WILL FOEVER LIVE IN MY BRAIN RENT FREE

3) GROOSE LOVES HIS GRANNIE AND HUGD HER

Ok, now thats thats out of the way

Demise is so fucking irritatin???? Like???? Lord how does he talk so much and say abouslty nothing of value, at lease Ghirahim has spice and flavor???

Its my personal headcannon that Sky told him to shut up and take them to the fight, bc he was full of rage

Also in the Temple Groose wrapped Zelda up in a bunch of blankets and worked with young Impa to make both Link and Zelda some food bc they must be hungry after fighting the god pf evil

Impa is midly horrified at Groose non reaction to the world nearly ending

(I know theres a 'Fi's Farwell in this game and I do NOT want it, I dont want to see it. Nick, Nick is she going to leave me??? Fi nooooo, I dont wanna see you leave ;-;)

Also Demise's attacks aren't hard to deal with, they're all like incredibly annoying tho. Like stop running at me like that my controller refuses to calibrate properly and I cant skyward strike you prick!!

-Fi🔷 (who ISNT leaving)

AAAHHHH YEAH RIP TO ZELDA BUT ALSO HONEY YOU DONT NEED TO APOLOGIZE. LINK DOESNT BLAME YOU. (you can really see her identity crisis, and I think she's trying to convince herself as much as link that she is still the same person)

2) YES GOOD. LET ZELDA AND LINK BEING SWEET LAUGHING AT THEIR FRIEND LIVE FOREVER. ITS SO GOOD.

3) Groose DOES love Grannie, he really grew close to her in that time.

Yeah demise is. Demise is hrgggfg. He's not hard to beat? But he's frustrating in kinda the same way that Ghirahim is frustrating to fight.

And headcanon accepted. Groose put EVERYONE in blankets and made them food, including Impa. She's been through a lot too.

(I'm sorry, but Fi will leave you. But I swear its so good, you will need tissues, but it's good. It's happy and a little sad, and just absolutely perfect. But don't worry, if you think about it she has been with almost every link.)