#i ditched the venti fic i was writing for this

[raeharmonia]

Alone in my living room

Author's note: hello, im back with a quick drabble. Im having a terrible month and what better way to express my emotions than to write an Amaranthe drabble of it MSKKSMS

I was listening to Sleeping at Last's Space for Sleep album while writing this (i love Sleeping at Last one of my comfort artists fr) Also this was intended to be a Lymaranthe hurt/comfort fic but i ditched the idea lol it just doesn't sit right for me. This might be the reason why the first half is a bit weird sorryy qwq

Word count: 698, semi-proofread Tags: angst, very venty, brief Lyney appearance lol, weird attempt of writing an accurate description of making tea (tried my best), mention of a want to disappear, self-deprecation

The sounds of the bustling city overwhelms Amaranthe's senses, the people's overlapping chatter makes her head feel dizzy. Lately, she felt even more emotionally and physically drained than usual, constant voices of insecurities flooding her mind ever since.

She tried doodling something on her sketchbook in an attempt to comfort her troubled soul but to no avail. Erasing the unfinished lines as soon as it shows signs of failure, leaving Amaranthe to stare at the leftover marks of graphite on her paper with frustration.

Unfortunately, the walk that was supposed to drive those feelings away only drained her even more. The bright rays of the sunlight and the overwhelmingly loud sounds of the streets amplified her stress levels.

Her hand found its way at the nearest streetlight, leaning against the metal pole in an attempt to calm herself down. She needs something that will ground herself back to reality, desperately.

"My lady, are you okay?"

A voice nearby called, it was filled with worry rather than his usual flamboyant tone.

His voice sounds gentle and warm, she thought.

"Oh im alright, Mr. Lyney. Thank you for your concern." Amaranthe managed to force a small smile, its so painful that its chipping away her remaining energy.

But she has no choice, she can't let him know that she's in such a state.

"But your eyes tells me otherwise. The eyes are the window to someone soul is it no—"

"I said im fine! Can you please shut up for once?!"

Lyney's eyes widened at her reaction, shocked to witness Amaranthe's sudden outburst.

Her tone is firm and cold, as cold as a snowstorm. And her sharp gaze lacked it's usual shine, devoid of color and light.

"I- im sorry i didn't mean to... I need to be alone."

The smell of rainbow roses surrounded the living room as she opened the door of her home. Her stress dwindled as she takes in the comforting atmosphere that her home can only provide.

Amaranthe then boiled some hot water for tea and takes out a box of tea bags out of the kitchen cupboard. Once the water finishes boiling, she poured it into a cup and dunked two tea bags in it.

She grabs a couple of brownies from a paper bag that Charlotte left for her 3 days ago and placed them on a small plate. She brings her teacup and plate towards the living and placed them on the coffee table.

After some time, she brings the teacup near to her lips and blew on the her tea before taking a sip. The sweet and sour flavors of the drink soothes her mind quite a bit. She takes a bite of the brownie, the sweet chocolate flavor made a small smile creep up her lips.

The only things that are accompanying her silence are the soft winds of the outdoors and the soft ticks of her clock.

She looked up at the clock to check the time. Its 2pm. Usually at that time she would be drawing, but the fear of failure hesitated her from picking up her art supplies.

As much as she likes the moments of solitude, she cant help but feel a bit lonely. Without the sounds of companionship filling up the room to distract her, negative thoughts and insecurities began clouding her mind.

Do people really like her? Do they really mean whenever they say that she's amazing and talented? Or are they just pretending and lying to her face? People clearly like someone else who also does the same thing as her better and are only spending time with her out of pity.

She's not amazing. Far from that. She'll always besomeone who is boring and make nothing but horrendous art. Why would anyone like someone like her?

Sometimes, she just wants to disappear altogether.

"Liars." she muttered.

A tear fell down from her eye, landing on her tea which caused it to ripple in the cup.

She places her cup on her table as more tears falls down her face.

She lied down against the soft cushions of her sofa and began crying softly.

This was the 4th time she cried this week.

[sky-squido]

For the ask game: Q, X, and, Y?

HI YES THIS ASK IS FROM SEPTEMBER—ANYWAY MOVING ON

Q: Do you have any discarded scenes/storylines/projects?

Yeah, actually! I never post anything to Ao3 unless I’m 100% sure I’m going to finish it (even if it takes me literal years). That means both that I’ve never gonna perma-hiatus/abandon a fic if it’s on Ao3 and also that there are a lot of things floating around that I’ve actually put some legwork into that haven’t really gotten anywhere and I doubt I’ll get around to, so they've never really seen the light of day.

i was gonna permadeath hyrule and then i didn’t, details here

i did some light drafting and outlining of a story where the Four Sword splits Sky. it’d have to be long to do it justice and i didn’t wanna commit to that with two active WIPS on Ao3 at the time. i have just finished To Isolate, but i have 30k words of celestial navigation nonsense to now balance with hey four so i doubt i’ll get around to this one

i’ve got 4k words of legend slowly opening up to sky and telling him things and growing much closer and then very belatedly realizing that he knows next to nothing about sky himself. i started it in someone’s discord dms, but it wasn’t really going anywhere that excited me so i dropped it. if people want me to slap what i do have of discarded sketches-but-writing like this one on tumblr, let me know, though i warn you that they’ll all cut off partway through and be deeply unsatisfying

i’ve got 2.5k words of outline for something that’s kind of the same idea i mentioned in bullet 3 but it pulls wind into the mix and instead of being an i-just-dove-in-and-started-writing, it’s a pretty solid outline of something i just didn’t feel like fleshing out. the working fic title was “don’t look at me, i won’t be able to smile for you.”

i have another doc titled “haha lol legend is a punching bag.” this is a very apt title. legend gets nabbed by a baddie, puts up a heck of a fight tryna get away, almost manages, and then gets caught for real, bonked with malice, and unleashed onto his friends because we love to see link v link combat and the old i-know-you’re-in-there-somewhere fight. kind of an extension of that Malice!Legend ficlet i slapped on here a long while ago, but it does way more things. this one’s just an outline.

i’ve got 1k words of legend on koholint talking to marin after realizing the island was fake. had a cool take on marin, but wasn't really the vibe

i have this vague, very fluid concept that’s just “five times legend was helpless and one time he refused to be again.” what those five times are vary every time i try outlining it, but it’s just a lot of legend running into different kinds of The One Problem He Can’t Solve and struggling to cope with not being omnipotent. might actually revisit this one cuz i still like it a lot and i think there were some good ideas in here. my biggest problem with it is the “and one time he refused to be again” because i don’t like the implication that the solution to not being omnipotent is just to Try Harder but “five times legend was helpless and one time he accepted it” just sounds depressing. i’m very open to suggestions on this one!

i’ve got 2k words (written, not an outline) of four coming back to camp one night with red Very Much In Charge so his eyes are very red and then hyrule thinks he’s possessed and draws his sword on him and red freaks out and ditches and the other three have to figure out what’s going on. i didn’t really think it was going anywhere interesting but what really stopped me from continuing was that i started writing four Very Much Like A System and it was cool but then i started researching the neuroscience behind it and psychologist brain went wheeeeeee and now thinking about the fic just makes me want to do research instead of working on it oop

this one venty thing of hyrule just having no energy whatsoever and not wanting to talk to anyone. then he climbs a tree and feels a bit better. that’s literally it, and this one is actually complete, i just didn’t feel like posting it anywhere, though i can plop it here if y’all want.

then i have a silly AU outlined where all of the LU boys are either students or instructors at a flight school (like for airplanes and pilots n stuff). it would have to be really infodumpy though and i’m doing enough of that with my celestial navigation fic. the characters and world are fun but i also didn’t really have a storyline i liked so this hasn’t gone anywhere

there are probably more kicking around but i can’t find them right now

as for discarded scenes and storylines within fics i have actually written, there definitely are some, but i don’t really have any way of keeping track of them. the one i remember most vividly is that there was gonna be a part in to isolate ch.8 where sky overhears legend playing ballad of the wind fish and wind asks him about it and legend says he was hoping this was all some bad dream he could wake up from, but it didn’t really fit in the flow of the narrative we ended up with. there are actually a lot of deleted scenes from chapters 8 onwards because the outline and the actual thing are virtually unrecognizable as being part of the same fic.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer. All of them, obviously, but Wind and Four have been climbing that particular ladder! we need more content of them being deep and interesting and mature together (and wind especially, solo) and what better way to explore that than through strategically deployed angst and suffering!! this bodes well for Hey Four >:3

Y: A character you want to protect. all of them, believe it or not, but right now it’s mostly Legend, shockingly! he’s been my favorite punching bag for a while, but i’ve also noticed myself growing increasingly gentle with what i put him through and how i have him take it lately because these days it's actually way more interesting for me to be kind to him than to bully him

thank you for the ask and i hope you don't miss my reply considering it's been several months sfkghskghsdlfgjsdkl take care!!

[tomaytow]

omg im having brainrot about venti and how do u think he would cuddle windblume? would he be big spoon or small spoon? lmk ur thoughts!

i am so sorry it took me a while to respond bUT OOO

i hope you’re still having a venti brainrot because i’m still having a brainrot abt him (24/7,, check my dms with tala aka tumblr user blooming-cecilia LOL i flood her with venti stuff a lot)

anyway.

cuddling venti hcs, you want? i’ll give it to you. let me just ransack my mind for a bit;

- imagine just laying supine on the bed and venti just. crawls on top of you and buries his head on your chest. venti likes listening to your heartbeat and he also likes it when you stroke or pat his head. go on. run your fingers through his hair. he’ll probably sigh, pleased, and if you stop – he’ll definitely tell you to do it again (do it again! why should you not?) if you’re feeling playful and decide to stop, there are chances he’ll put your hand back to where it belongs.

- imagine sleeping so deeply that nothing ever wakes you. a venti comes to join you for bed, and when he sees you hugging a pillow, he won’t hesitate to replace said pillow with himself. venti will either nuzzle his face on the crook of your neck, or he’ll let your head rest on his chest. hm. he likes smelling your shampoo, by the way, because it makes him feel so much at home.

- ((akshsjbsjsjsjb the idea of venti just content with windblume… it’s so nice…))

- in the idol au, i discussed a similar concept where you try to make venti jealous by cuddling a plushie instead of him. it didn’t end well cuz venti couldn’t take it (archons, he’s just so silly-) and threw it across the room, before glomping you. why is the plushie getting more love than him??? he’s your boyfriend!!

- during the morning, it’s hard to get up because of venti’s hold around your waist. you’ll have to wake him up so he can let go of you. (but bear in mind, though: that venti’s very clingy—an understatement, tbh—and he loves you very much. i think waking him up just made it worse because he’ll hold you tighter. he refuses to let go.) there is no e s c a p e.

- cuddle him and he’ll cuddle you back. it has more passion and vigor it’s overwhelming. he’ll giggle a lot. cuddling is his favorite past times with you.

- you expect me to not think abt needy venti???? wrong. needy venti is for the soul. imagine him just sitting on the couch and has his arms raised. hands closing and opening in a grabby motion. he pouts at you, “windblume. cuddle.”

- he wants your attention, your affections, so it’s not so surprising when you’re on the phone with someone and you feel arms squeezing your waist… and kisses on your cheeks…

- don’t get me started on possessive venti during cuddle sessions cuz even though you both look cute & wholesome on the outside, who’s not to say that venti’s mind is only filled with mine, and only mine… mine always

- the anemo archon “i’ll be your alternate jacket / hoodie / sweater!” barbatos, then proceeds to BEAR HUG you

- AJAHAJWBDKJDKKDLNDNP i just remembered abt his wings 🥺🥺 venti will definitely wrap his wings around you for more warmth……they’re so soft and comfortable and fluffy

- imagine you just both sitting together and one of his wings guide you close to him

- during rainy days / winter season, cuddles with venti will increase (if venti’s being a lil trickster, he’ll insert his cold hand under your shirt)

- “windblume, i’m cold. i think i deserve some cuddling, don’t you think?”

- personal hc: venti can’t choose which position he likes, but he has a soft spot for digging and hiding his face on your neck… he wants to be in his haven; his paradise; your arms around him, his arms around you. or just you, really. you’re home to him.

- after a long day, venti just drapes all over you. there are no words exchanged but you can understand what’s happening. he’s recharging. praise him, will you? comfort him? give him little kiths… or if you can, sing him songs? (yes. when venti’s upset, he calms down when he just presses himself closer to you)

- venti’s hugs are just the best. there are times where things are hard and it’ll always be resolved with proper communication and really— just a tight hug will suffice.

- when you’re both curled with one another, venti rubs your fingers with his thumb tenderly. hand holding with venti is always nice because you can feel that he really loves you, even in simple gestures.

- look at venti whenever you guys cuddle. yep. the soft gaze. the small smile. ah, yes. he loves you very much.

as for the big spoon and little spoon… venti can be both. he can be the big spoon or the small spoon.

that’s what’s perfect about him.

he doesn’t care.

as long as he’s cuddling you, he’s satisfied.

at first i only thought him as a small spoon because i want to give him the comfort that he deserves uNTIL I REALIZED THAT BIG SPOON VENTI IS GOOD, TOO. i mean. wouldn’t you want to be spooned by the anemo archon???

((tho… i’m in a huge big spoon venti mood rn…….. time to feed myself))

so yeah!!! it depends on the mood.

but you know. venti prefers it more when he sees you.

there’s easy access to the lips—easy access to the eyes. easy access to the face. he loves seeing you.

[your-1up-girl]

When you remember their Starbucks order: 1A girls Edition

Okie dokie so the sweet @tryingmyves let me do a version of her Starbucks series on her blog but with the 1A girls. I hope you like it Ves and thank you again for giving me permission to write this.

No warnings (other than it bearly being proofread) for this one and a gender nutural reader. Also, I'm trying something new for this, instead of saying Y/N, I'm using Y/C (as in your character), just to see how I like that. anyways, please enjoy.

Characters: Tsuyu Asui, Ochaco Uraraka (I will write for the other girls don't worry)

Tsuyu Asui

Okay, I have never done headcanons like this before soooooooooooo……yeah just be kind please? Also these are headcanons (using that word loosely) but I couldn’t help but turn it into a small fic.

Anyways, we know Tsu can’t handle the cold weather but I like to think that she enjoys cold drinks, especially during the summer

She isn’t much of a coffee drinker nor a tea drinker but she does like fruity drinks

So, her favorite cold thing to drink is a grande Iced Guava Passion Fruit with light ice. While she likes a Venti (she gets the larger size when it’s cold) Vanilla Crème Steamer as her hot drink

You noticed that when you went out with everyone on the bi-weekly Class 1A groceries run, she would get one or the other depending on the season.

You, being the loving significant other that you were, took this to memory and even if you didn’t go out on very many “Coffee Shop dates” together, you still kept the drinks in the back of your mind.

One afternoon when people were staying in the common room, the weather was bad with rain and it was surprisingly cold that day

So, everyone was vibing to the rain against the window, the soft sounds of Lo-fi that Jiro set up with her portable speaker, and the game that played on TV

Well, everyone except Tsu

She was currently struggling to stay awake as she glanced at the video game that flashed on screen. Wrapped in the fuzzy socks, plush blanket, and hoodie you got her

Anyone would have thought she was just sleepy; it was getting late and she’d been working hard all week but you knew that wasn’t the case this time

Her quirk makes it so she gets tired when it's too cold

So she tries to combat it at times like these so if this was a fight and she was battleing in the colder weather she would stay awake. But clearly she was losing.

The way Tsu’s head would gradually lower and closer to Kirashima’s arm. But when her temple just barely pressed against him, she would shoot back up again eyes wide, only for it to happen again. You watched this for a solid minute while trying to explain the point of the game to Todoroki. All you wanted to do was go over there and cuddle up next to her to maybe provide a bit of body heat. But she would always deny you.

“I need to be able to warm myself Y/N. It’s very sweet of you to help me but, I think I can do this if I just focus.”

And it seemed that Tsu was getting the hang of staying awake during the cold because she was able to focus on the screen and talk to Kirishima. Your focus returned to Todoroki after that and he had a plethora of questions that you happily answered with a few laughs in between.

That’s when you saw from the corner of your eye, a flash of green drop followed by a soft “oof”. Tsuyu had fallen asleep against Kirishima. A sigh escaped as you dug through your pockets. Finding a few dollars, you got up and shook your girlfriend awake.

“Hey. Hey, Tsu.” A small hum left her lips as she groggily looked up at you.

“Oh, I guess it’s colder than I thought ribbit.”

You and Kirishima both laughed, “Don’t worry about it sweetie you’ll get it. I just woke you up to let you know I’m heading out for a minute.”

“What?” That woke her up but not enough to get the sleep out of her eyes. “Then let me go with you.”

“No, no. It’s okay. It’s raining pretty bad out there and I’d hate for you to get worse.” You put a kiss on her forehead and she gave a content smile as you looked at Kirishima. “Try to make sure she doesn’t fall asleep again, yeah?”

With a signature shark-tooth grin, he gave you a thumbs up, “You can count on me boss.”

You left after sending Aizawa a quick text letting him know you would be out and grabbed your raincoat, boots to brace the elements. Luckily, the Starbucks wasn’t too busy. But, it was busier than usual considering that it is practically raining buckets outside. After ordering the steamer and leaving a tip for the barista, you nearly ran back to the dorms (just for good measure you ordered it extra hot so it would be good for Tsu).

Upon entering the dorms, the class was still scattered about the common room and Tsu was making light conversation with Kirishima. You ditched your coat and boots for your slippers and walked over to your froggy girlfriend and handed her the drink.

“Oh, Y/C, did you go out to get this just for me?”

“Yup, venti Vanilla Crème steamer. I also got it extra hot so that it wouldn’t get cold when I got here.”

Tsu took the cup with slightly shocked eyes but after the first sip, a content smile found its way to her lips. “I didn’t expect you to remember my drink. I didn’t think you even knew what I ordered, ribbit.”

You laughed softly, “We’ve been dating for a year now, I noticed that you get this one when it’s cold and the guava drink when it’s hot.” Said in a proud matter-of-fact tone you couldn’t help but smile at the blush that came across her cheeks.

“Aww Tsu, you’re blushing.” Kirishima teased. You carefully undid the blanket that she had wrapped herself in and got comfortable with her as she sat between your legs.

“Thank you for the drink Y/C; it makes me happy that you noticed things like that.”

You kissed her shoulder, “Anything for you Tsu.” Kirishima put an arm around your shoulder to offer more warmth and you all set your attention back to the screen; giving playful teases to Sero couldn’t find his way.

[doyouremem8erme]

this fic for the commentary because i relate to it a whole bunch!!

cw for discussion of irl bullying. also, marcy harm in the fic.

so ok! the night before i wrote that fic (i actually wrote it at the same time as this one but didnt publish the one you asked abt until much more recently; even that other fic was posted a decent time after i wrote it) i had just sat down and had a conversation with a friend from middle school whose instagram i'd just found.

(this bit gets a bit venty so skip if you want)

they and i were in a small friend group in middle school that group were some of my only friends! however i had lied to them to fit in with the group (im not comfortable sharing what) and eventually was like. ok i dont care if you ditch me and leave me to be bullied by the people at this school who hate me (i was genuinely concerned that some of them might actually kill me based on the seriousness of many of their threats.) i cant lie anymore. and i told them the truth one day at lunch and tried to cling to our friendship but they backed away. basically it sucked!!

anyways one of those friends eventually started talking to me again but the other completely ignored me. i wont get into the rest of that drama actually bc its even more completely irrelevant! so the better friend is the one who i ended up talking to on instagram late one night last year. and they were basically like. yeah that other guy sucks he's messed with a ton of other people like this. he wasnt worth it.

that conversation was rlly important bc it let me realize a lot of things. namely, the reason im so drawn to marcy as a character. i see a ton of myself in her.

the fic you asked about is basically me trying to project the day those friends ditched me. trying to handle those emotions that were coming back all of a sudden from that day.

this? this is pure projection.

and this is in large part, me trying to come to terms with my own mistakes from when i was a kid. sure it's hyperbole, but things get more extreme when translated like this if i want venting to work.

after a last passage of venting lmao, we get back into the more fictional bits. "the bitter wind" is ofc a generic phrase but i was lowkey thinking abt "emmylou" by first aid kit while writing that line.

girls when italicized ohs

me: (is mildly sad) hmmmm. *harms marcy*

it's clear what of this was written after i got what i needed to vent about out. the reason this took over 6 months to get published was that i only wrote a short bit of such intensely personal writing before i switched over to the other fic i used to vent about the same topic. i just tacked on the last few generic, fictional, canon-compliant marcangst stuff in time for the true colors anniversary.

hi basil if you relate to this fic "a whole bunch" i might recommend you a pinch of therapy (<- went to therapy for years following the events that led to me writing this)

[dayables]

TW: Kinda venty.

That Hinako analysis thing, that was tiring and its 1.1k and now I never want to touch my island existance fic but im still stuck on day 11 because i really do not want to write Shin casually starving with Reko so instead i posted that monster becuase Hinako has slowly become a comfort character and i hate that.

Like god rest my heart. She’s probably gonna wind up dead in a ditch and i have chosen to get attTCHED. 

Anyways, no i will not write the island fic. I will now go write vent fics that keep me up till 1am and neglect anything else. 

Thank you

[sarahreeese]

Reesker Artist!AU

Since I’m never going to write all my ideas and I am behind on 3 stories already; I’m doing lunch hour bullet list fics. Might consider taking requests for these in the future if I can offer any consistency.

Sarah is a painter in Chicago who is up and coming, but definitely is still a barista at a local coffee shop

She has almost all the pieces ready for her new exhibition except for one large one

There’s no plan for it, other than the she wants it to be a portrait

Ava comes into the coffee shop, almost every night to buy coffee

And by every night, it’s every night 3 minutes before closing, but at least it’s just a venti black coffee

Sarah might have grown a backbone and told her to come in earlier if she wasn’t very gay and Ava wasn’t very pretty

It starts as friendly banter and mild flirting and then they start talking one night when Ava comes in as she’s closing up

Ava regularly pulls all nighters at law firm she works at to try and steal the position away from the son of one of the partners

Hence the constant minutes before closing coffees

She acts as a sounding board in the beginning, wondering if Connor Rhodes is truly as stupid as she makes him out to be

She also bounces ideas off of her, ‘I could make him fall in love with me, convince him to quit and then just ditch him after. It’s fool proof’

Then Ava starts asking questions about her, and Sarah dodges them for a bit until her coworker shouts out she’s a painter

The next day Ava has stalked instagram for her page and has unabashedly liked every post she’s ever made

She finds out about the exhibition and wants to go

Sarah says she’s still missing pieces and as she’s about to ask her if she’d mind posing when Ava asks if she’d paint her

‘I mean if you want to. Maybe I don’t have the right face’

‘Your face would be perfect’

‘It’s a date’

Then internal gay questioning of like is it a daAaAte or like a meeting 

Ava comes to her apartment and Sarah positions her to pose and she gives her that look and thank god she figured out it was a date

Insert too long of looks and a hand guiding her chin for too long, tucking her hair behind her ear for the shot

She sketches her out, and then takes a picture to capture the lighting so she can paint later.

Ava volunteers to come back and do it live if she needs to ‘It’s no big deal’ ‘the lighting won’t be same’

Sarah offers to take her out for dinner to make it up to her

And that’s all I had time to come up with.