#i didnt spend 20 days on this for nothing lol

[4thenookie]

so i rewrote eyeless jacks story

happy halloween! beware of gorey descriptions, some of this stuff is pretty gnarly.

Heaving a sigh, the young man closed another book with a dull thud. Jack Nyras was soon due to graduate at the very top of his medicine course, yet here he sat in the local library as if it were any other night. In front of him lay a plethora of books, as well as a quickly filling notebook. Upon the pages he scrawled the facts he’d raked his dark eyes over at least fifty times before, and each time he dragged pen across paper his hand seemed to get heavier. After briefly nudging his glasses further up the flat bridge of his nose, Jack got to work squinting at the impossibly small font of the third book he had picked up that day. The slender hand gripping his pen seemed to move of its own accord, as if it knew what to write before his mind caught up. His dark brows shifted slightly as he picked up a voice mere inches away from him. “You’re gonna make a great doctor, y’know. You’ve already got the handwriting for it.” a feminine voice joked, strangely enrgetic for a late midweek afternoon.

Reluctantly, Jack turned to face the girl stood peering over his shoulder from close behind his seat. He spent so much time registering another person actually speaking to him that he forgot to respond altogether. The girl’s glossy lips parted in a soft giggle, revealing a sliver of pearly white teeth. She opened her mouth to speak, closed it again, then eventually decided what to say.

“You’re on the medicine course, right?’ she asked, but she seemed to already know the answer.

Jack nodded. “I recognise you from classes.” he commented simply, thinking it rude to remain completely silent.

The girl’s eyes lit up at his response, her smile widening. She then seemed to consider something, her meticulously plucked brows knitting as she thought. “Sorry, remind me of your name?” she asked him with an apologetic look.

The brunette’s lips quirked. “Jack.”

“I’m Jenny.”

Jack nodded, and said nothing more. Jenny, who expected a little more from him in terms of a response, was quiet as well. After a moment spent in silence, she spoke again.

“Listen, I’m having a little get-together with some friends after graduation. Be there, please?’

Her blue eyes softened as she noticed the apprehension that crossed Jack’s face at the mention of any sort of ‘get-together’. “It won’t be anything big, don’t worry.”

Jack hesitated, a little taken aback by her offer.

“It would mean a lot to us- to me, if you’d come.”

With a sigh, Jack gave a small nod. Jenny’s eyes sparkled as she beamed at him.

“Great.”

Then she was away. Jack watched her go, a slight regret for giving in to the girl so quickly creeping into his conscious. He shook his head a few times, mildly tousling his dark hair, and returned to the solace of his books.

It took Jack until nearly a day later to realise that he had no means of finding out when or where this get-together was going to be. He was in luck, however, as Jenny approached him after their final lecture of the day. “Hey, Jack!’ the blonde called out just as Jack had made to leave. He turned to meet her beaming smile and bright eyes with a lightly earnest expression. Following continuous giggles and profuse apologies, Jenny presented him with a phone number, presumably hers, and skipped off to rejoin her friends. Jack watched after her for a few moments, his gaze lingering until she was out of sight. Pocketing the slip of paper Jenny had given him, Jack retrieved his books and left the hall.

Once it's door had been eased open, Jack made his way into his apartment. Having to confine his extensive work into such a small space, the books and papers sprawled across every possible surface made up the majority of his decorations. With a heavy sigh he threw his messenger bag onto the sofa, the rustic leather a stark contrast against the cream plush of the seat. Jack crossed the room to his record player, under which was a stand for his growing collection of records. The following moments were filled with the sound of Jim Morrison's croon, the psychedelic melody bringing life to the dim living room. With that he returned to his settee to continue his diligent work.

In the ensuing days Jack noticed that he saw Jenny very little. Although the last of his work was taking up nearly all of his time, the thought of her always lingered in the back of his mind. A brief glance at his calendar reminded him there were only two days left until he had to spend an evening with Jenny and her friends, and only one day remained until his ceremony. The thought of his doctorate dreams being even closer to achievability rendered him rather enlivened, and he found that for once he couldn’t wait for the day spent revising to pass.

The anticipation Jack felt while waiting for his name to be called was almost painful. His hands, which were rested in his lap, continually tightened and relaxed around part of his robe. Wearing the black garment somehow felt unreal, as if he were wearing somebody else’s clothes. Simply put, Jack felt like he was on top of the world, like nothing could possibly go wrong on this momentous day. It felt as though his heart might burst out of his chest when his name was finally called, and he couldn’t hide the smile that crept onto his face. His hand was almost shaking as hands were shook, and he could hardly believe that the certificate clutched in his hand was his. Jack’s eyes darted down to the paper, and away, and back again, as if he thought it would disappear. Once the final name had been called, Jack glanced around at the students surrounding him and realised Jenny was not among them. The thought to ask after her crossed his mind briefly, but it was quickly forgotten when he was pulled into a warm embrace by his mother. Once she eventually released her son, the woman beamed up at him, her dark eyes twinkling. “Oh Jack, I’m so proud of you.” she joyfully gushed. Jack smiled down at her, his eyes filled with the same warmth. He presented her with his certificate when asked, and happily embraced her again. The two had drinks, and good food, before Jack had to be away. His mother, while disheartened to see him leave, was relieved to hear he had found good company. With a final hug and apology to his mother, Jack left for the address Jenny had given to him.

Upon his arrival to the house, Jack was warmly welcomed in by Jenny as soon as he reached the doorstep. She ushered him in, a musical echo emanating from another room. He was lead through the house to the living room, where Jenny’s friends sat with an assortment of food and drink. Jack was continually offered both, but he declined everything except a glass of water. A friend of Jenny’s immediately complied, and Jack was presented with a tall glass of the icy liquid. He took the glass and gave his thanks to the other young man who had given it to him, oblivious to the ice quickly sinking to the bottom of the glass. As the group talked and ate and drank, Jack slowly sipped at his water and noticed an odd taste left on his tongue. He found himself struggling to keep up with whatever conversation was being had, as though his brain was falling behind. Suddenly, nearly everybody in the room rose and left, leaving him and Jenny alone. She crossed the room to take a seat next to him, her beaming smile brightening her icy blue eyes. Upon his commenting of seeing none of her at the ceremony, her expression fell and twisted in a way he’d never seen anybody’s face shift before. After some moments she uttered a “Don’t worry about it.”, and said nothing more. The two sat in a heavy silence, and Jack noticed the room start to spin, then blur, then fade, then there wasn’t a room at all. There was a crash as his empty glass slipped from his hand onto the floor, and his body crumpled completely.

Once Jack awoke, he immediately realised his change in location. He could now feel the biting cold of the night’s breeze against his face, and the mild warmth of the candles surrounding him. Candles? The red wax slowly dripped onto the grass around him, and he registered something cold and course against his back and the chains binding him to it. A tree, presumably, considering he appeared to be in a forest. He found he couldn’t remember any forests being nearby. Then, the chants started. Jack rose his head and stood ahead of him was Jenny’s group, all draped in black robes with a sort of mask obscuring their faces. Above the chants in foreign tongues he could just about pick up the shrill sound of something sharpening. Just as he turned to figure out what the sound was, a cold hand seized his jaw and forced his head to turn upwards. He met eyes with Jenny. Her eyes weren’t shining anymore, and a blank frown soured her face. Wordlessly she raised her right hand, and clutched in it was a scalpel. Jack’s eyes widened, and he attempted to struggle and scramble away from her to no avail. The cool metal first met his face just under his left eyebrow before it was swiftly drawn diagonally across his eye. a scream was ripped from his throat. The sound pierced the air above the continued chants. Another cut was made in the opposite direction. A warm substance gushed from the incisions and down his face, rolling down his cheek and dripping onto his shirt. Then, something foreign clutched around his eye. Jenny plunged her fingers into his eye socket, her claw-like nails raking against the insides of his head. With a forceful yank, Jack didn’t have enough air in his lungs to scream again as the eye still in its socket met the eye held in Jenny’s bloody hand. It felt as though more pressure was applied this time, and the blade was drawn across his right eye at a sadistically slow pace. The second cut was rather juxtaposing - it came with an agonising speed. Over the burning pain overtaking his empty socket, Jack could hardly register the scrape of Jenny’s nails against the inside of his eye. His remaining eye was tugged and twisted from his head, and he found himself without the energy to scream. His vocal chords felt as if they had been ripped in two, the lack of breath in his lungs leaving his mouth bone dry. Blood dripped into his mouth from either sides of his face, the irony taste overwhelming his senses. The cold breeze against his warm, bloody sockets was jarring, and the sensation felt white-hot. Jack could hardly hear the continued chanting over his desperate gasps for breath, but he did make out another set of footsteps approach him. Few words were exchanged, and Jenny’s once jubilant tone was now as cold as her icy gaze. A pair of footsteps departed, and Jack faintly heard somebody shift in front of him. Albeit hoarse, a howl of pain was tore from deep in his chest as a scorching sensation overwhelmed his empty sockets. An indescribable substance filled the new cavities in his face, the thick liquid charring the delicate insides of his head. It ran down his face like lava from a volcano. Jack felt the skin of his cheeks burn and blister beneath it. He couldn’t hear the chanting anymore. He couldn’t see anybody anymore. He couldn’t think anymore.

Jack immediately knew that the body he was now in was not his own. The only reminder that this body had belonged to him was the scorched, empty sockets where his eyes would have been. His hands, now dark claws, were unnatural and ungainly, as though they weren’t ever his hands at all. A set of horns, pointed and gnarled, sat high on his head like a broken crown. His teeth, larger and sharper than before, left countless tiny cuts on his greyed lips. His greyed skin had lost all life. Jack no longer felt like the Jack Nyras he graduated medical college as. He now felt like a monster. A monster that was starving.

[jadecantcreate]

i wanted to write a quick 3-chapter fic for day 4 of loa shiptober (how they met i think) and i (a fool) was like. yeah. i could totally write 3 chapters in a few hours. i was wrong. SO wrong. haven’t even finished kremy’s (the first one).

so instead have a maybe-past-kremy design that im conflicted about compared to his current design, as a peace offering

[pvnks0ul]

when i kissed the teacher (18+)

◈ professor!riri w. x fem!reader

sypnosis: When the course of her marriage has run awry, Riri finds herself entertaining your little crush on her.

⚠︎: deluded & kinda obsessed!reader, college student!reader, age gap, cheating, a lil dramatic coz it's in readers pov mostly, older (think late 20s-early 30s) + married!riri, car ess ee ecks, strap on (reader receiving) + oral (RW receiving), no resolve (sry lol), lil plot 4 🌽, sub!reader/Dom!riri, smut under the cut + ! amateur writing ! (Your only warning)

"Mhmm..fuck–!" Riri mewls as her hand shoves your head deeper into her cunt, your tongue pacing the most intimate part of her before licking a stripe up to her clit, kneading it just how she taught you, "Y-yeah, just like that."

Riri knew no argument would justify her continuous crimes of adultery but with you being just around the corner conveniently after each one made it easy to cough up excuses. She was very aware of the crush you had on her, so she always made sure to smile in your very general direction, calling on you first if your hand was raised because she liked the way you'd bashfully take on th challenge, even if you weren't completely sure of it.

It's not like you were a saint either. Infact, some would say you were even worse. Especially after you were caught spitefully facing the wedding picture of her and Raven, the wife, down in the early mornings if you arrived to class before her. She tried to talk to you about how disrespectful it was, but you didnt seem to care as she didnt even notice till you said something about her ring.

That landed you your first referal from her, alone. You liked riri, but were still highly upset! You just wanted her to focus in class with no distractions. You weren't actually trying to be disrespectful. Riri senses this from across the room. She watches you solemnly after you'd rolled your eyes at her. And that was just unacceptable, she had to make sure you knew that which is why she makes sure the door is locked, checking the empty hallways and unpinning the little piece of fabric that covers the window in the door before pulling out a chair next to your desk.

You'd been acting out of character alot lately and she just wanted to check in. She cared a little too much & got a little too close. The supportive hand on your knee, turned into you laying your head on her shoulder, and ended with her blouse sleeves rolled up to her elbows as she worked her way knuckle deep between your sticky thighs, lowly whispering praises as you spread yourself to accept more of her from under the desk.

When it's over, your looking at her with nothing but pure unfiltered adoration and it's bad for Riri. It's terrible for her because she doesn't feel like she just did the worst thing possible by betraying her wife instead, she was thinking about when the next time she'd be able to have you again.

Mewling around her mound, you find yourself desperate for her approval. Your brown orbs glancing up for her usual nod of approval only to find her head is thrown back against the seat of her car. Thats how you know she really needed this and you cant blame her. Spending all day in a stuffy classroom only to come home to a nagging incompetent wife just couldnt be a desirable life for anyone, you tear up sometimes just thinking about how hard it must be for Riri.

"C'mon baby." she grunts, her eyes finally gracing you, her lids were low but still, it was enough to motivate you. You groan into her at the petname, circling her clit before sucking it into your mouth and she ruts against you desperately. Your only purpose was to make her bust in your mouth again.

It takes just a few more seconds of you lapping over her pussy to have her quivering thighs clenching around your head. And you love it, the lack of air encouraging you to continue, if anything. Riri grinds her hips against your face, a hint of a whine slips past her lips as she rides her high out on you. You keep going, trying to lick her dry, suckling right from her creamy hole, Riri sucks her bottom lip under her teeth at the sight and she wants you to keep going but once she reaches the end of it she's pulling your head away by your ponytail, not wanting to overstimulate herself. You whine at this, but settle for laying your head on her quaky leg until she comes down.

"C'mere." Riri demands in a hush tone. You use her sticky thighs as support to lift yourself up, sliding right into her lap, your thighs being separated by her bare one and she grips your chin, forcing you impossibly closer into her bubble. Her dark brown almost black orbs hypnotic and locking you in their lustfilled haze as they dropped to your wet lips before back up to your blown out eyes.

You're so beautiful and she cant tell you that because she knows how you get. It was an aggravating cycle. She'll give you a compliment and then you'll bombard her with a good 50 or so questions concerning reasons why she won't choose you than.

And every single time it always ends up with you sulking back into the passenger seat, not wanting to finish anything you started as fat tears cascaded down your cheeks, asking her to drop you off or notably ditching her class the next day.

So she admires you in secret while her thumb swipes away at the slick of your full bottom lip. She brings it to her own mouth, sucking her juices off her finger in one swift motion. You gape at the vulgar display infront of you.

She brings her face closer and a gasp slips past your lips, now brushing lightly against the other, "You're gonna get in trouble.." You speak, referring to your lipstick stained lips, developing a perfect pout and Riri has no choice but to give in. She rolls her eyes before tilting her head and leaning forward, "..If that happens I'll handle it." she corrects you, finally connecting your mouths in a dreamy kiss, you push your chest into hers with a moan, kissing back with just as much intensity and her rough hands drop to fiddle with the ends of your skirt, pushing the fabric up your plush hips.

She smirks against you when she finds that you dont have any panties on, she lays her hand dormant on your mound excluding her thumb as she uses it to dip between your warm folds, cooing proudly to find it absolutely sopping. You press your chests together her with a whimper, "m-more, Riri!"

She complies, "Course..", her fingers playing with the tip of your puffy clit, your hips twitching into them, "What is it? Can't handle me no more?" she mumbles. You shake your head no, you were just so sensitive because of how busy and negligent– she’d been this week when you were becoming accustomed to getting her every night. It felt like you would cum right now if she'd asked for it.

Riri smirks at the sour expression on your face, "All you want is for someone to rub on your pretty little clit, huh?" her cool breath fans your burning cheeks as you shamelessly follow each roll of her thumb across the bud,

You nod your head at whatever she just said and she knows that look on your face, you’re close... but already?

Just when you're on the brink of a climax, you grab at her wrist and yank it away from your heat, your thighs closing with a quickness. Riri cuts her eyes at you, curious to what you're doing. You wanted to finish with her inside but if you so much as let her get a few more strokes in, it'd be too late because you don’t think you have energy to go again.

You pant against her dress shirt as she holds you up with her hands around your back, "Do you have it with you?"

And Riri catches onto what you mean, she settles you with one hand while reaching in the small black tote bag in the backseat with wet fingers.

"When I'm coming to see you..." . She returns with the harness–attached dildo and you can feel your hole clench around nothing at just the thought of being full again. "Always." she speaks in that raspy tone.

"Up." Riri taps your side, signalling you to move so she can slide it pass her thighs and you happily abide.

She guides you over it once its secured, using your slick as lubricant for her dark brown piece she lines it up with your hole and settles it half way in.

Your eyes are already closing shut as the curved girthed allowed it to touch both sides of your walls, "Nmph-! Fuck!", Your hips twitch, not sure if you can handle all of it, worried she's too big. How'd you ever get it all in before?!

Riri disagrees, gripping the globes of your ass, spreading them as she pushed her pelvic up into you, opening you to fit her like a glove with each thrust earning her high pitched shudders against her ear as you held her dress shirt between closed fists, "S'too much.."

She scoffs at this, "You wanna be good for me, right?" She whispered lowly, rubbing at the smooth skin of your hips.

"Y-yeah, for y-you–!" You groan while holding her face in your hands, admiring all the little details you could see from up here and Riris chest burns at your words, more specifically the last bit. You never failed to keep her wrapped around your fingers when you always said shit like that.

Riri kisses your palm before bottoming out with a final push in. Your spine feels like it'll break from how fast you arched it on impact, your wet clit pressing into the bottom of her white shirt and waist band of her boxers and you're already shaking against her.

Riri holds the ends of the back of your thighs, trying to be patient and wait for you to calm down but you whimpering in the crease of her neck was not helping, she swallows thickly, thinking of ways to try and prevent herself from slamming you down on her dick, "...lemme know when."

It takes a good minute for the pain to subside, for you to feel the familiar inkling of heat in the pit of your belly, waiting to blaze so, you swirl your hips a bit, the tip scraping the bottom of your cervix with each one and you desperately need more.

"Oh fuck!" you use Riris shoulders to lift yourself a few inches before plunging, your sap drenching her legs and creating a noticeable puddle on the fabric under the strap from how long you were warming her.

The girth of her faux brushing your walls almost teasingly from how horrible you were at fucking yourself, but with the way your thighs were starting to burn so easily, you wouldn’t be able to do finish on your own. You just needed a little bit of help.

"Please.." You whined into her, buzzing with ecstasy, messy thighs pathetically quivering as you opened yourself for her viewing pleasure, "I– just want you to fuck me, Riri.." she doesnt hear whatever else you managed to slur, too busy eying your pussy in awe of your pink slit just barely swallowing all 8 inches down to the base.

She quiets you with a sweeter more innocent kiss while pressing the button on the side to recline her seat, letting you rest while she takes care of it.

Riri grabs you by your waist, your head tucked as your shuddered breaths pricked the skin of her neck, steadily she ascends your lower half before bringing you back down with a wet slush, repeating her steps over again. Each gasp gets stuck in your throat as her dick stretches you out and stirs all the creaminess inside, making goosebumps rise on your skin with every thrust.

You whine louder, acrylics breaking through the sleek material of her shirt, nipping her skin as you felt the fire in your belly turn inflammatory, she was fucking you so good and you didnt want her to stop but the clenching was inevitable, halting her strokes in their place with each one.

Riri reluctantly slows to a stop, she could feel your ass jiggling but now she wanted to see it all for herself. Your eyes dart open immediately after, and you're frowning down at her because you were so close.

"Turn around, I wanna see sum."

Riri holds your thighs and the base of the strap so she can pull out smoothly. They slide up to your waist when you sat down with your back to her chest and you could feel her pebbled nipples against your skin.

She bites down harshly on her bottom lip as she enters you again, your crying and panting as she sunk deeper but she knew you'd get off better this way.

"Yeah, i know..." she coos sincerely trying to soothe your nerves, "...but you gotta take all of it f'me." she holds you down with her free hand as she effortlessly grazed that soft spot once again, grinding into you at an unsteady rhythm.

Riri pushes your back in and your back forms a perfectly sharp arch, she grabs handfulls of the flesh in one hand before smacking down on the other. The pained yelp you let out contrasted drastically to the gush of juices you leaked over her dick and already messy boxers. She does it again, switching sides and kneading the sore skin of the one that got spanked then spreading to see the aftermath.

Riri groans at the sight of clear strings creating ill shaped webs dripping at both holes. Boldly, she releases your ass and presses her thumb into the crease, going all the way down, lubricating the pad before pressing into your button. You whimper at her curious prodding & rubbing but never once did you tell her to stop.

Your head lowers in shame from how much you were enjoying this as you gave her a better angle to fuck you from, just shutting your eyes as you let her have her way with you.

Riri bounces you on her lap a few times, the sound of your pussy turning her on even more, "You're real dirty, baby." She mocks while removing her thumb, drawing her arms around your waist and forcefully bringing you back to her chest, her faux shifting inside of you.

She moves down your mound, brushing over the tip of your clit before thrumming harder, playing with the silky bud. You squeak & squirm, reaching down to try and stop her but all she does is thrust her hips up in response.

Everything was starting to move too fast for you as she swirled all 4 of her fingers over your sensitive nub, her hips working into you at the same time and all you could do was pathetically wait for it to come crashing down.

"God—ah! 'gonna make me cum!" you wail pitifully and it really is pathetic how quick it was but you truly couldnt help it.

"Uh-huh..." She hums, her grip becoming harsh as she pulls on you with so much vigor your ass starts to clap against her bare thighs. Riri bites her bottom lip as she fucks you harder, your pussy squelching endlessly just for her, "Go 'head then baby, dont make me wait for it." You nearly go cross-eyed at her accent, sloppily grinding your clit into her gungy palm for more stimulation as she brings you over the edge with a final roll of her hips.

Your whole body spasms as you cry out her name, Riri watches in amazement, her hands gripping on your hips and leaving deep dents in their wake as you whine and pant and tremble ontop of her.

"Breathe, mama." she encouraged before she kissed behind your ear. Riri continues to pump you sloppily, helping you through the overstimulation since your thighs were still trembling and you weren't forming coherent sentences. Just biting down on your already swollen lips as a desperate attempt to hide the taboo eruption, clinging onto her for dear life and Riris buzzing under you. She wants to fuck you again. Have your short acrylics scratching up her back, neck and thighs but she knows it’s not a good idea. Especially since you’d definitely miss your curfew for the umpteenth time.

She's gauging your every move before she takes a chance and leans in, grazing her teeth at the bottom of your neck to prep for the fresh row of hickies even when she knows she shouldn’t be leaving evidence muttering, “You did so good f’me.” After each one and she prays it distracts you enough for her to effectively slide her wet piece out.

was kinda scared to post this one butttt, imma thug it out for my riri girlies ‹𝟹🥲

🔖: @sapphicbarbz @shurislover @s0lam33y (special thanks to @lppriceisright for proof-reading some of this for me!!)

[sunfish999]

Omg pls,,,, teach me about hi3rd 😭

ACTUALLY?????? bro ik idk what hoyov was thinking but i literally could not understand like half the game mechanics (and still dont) they even make way better tutorials than genshin for characters and stuff but im still like ‘what is this for’ etc etc but im totally willing to help🥺 especially cuz when i first started i built the best supports at that time and now theres tons of new supports that replace them😭 anyways send ur uid when u make ur account or whatever hehe

also tips rn: idk if u played hsr but theres a similar starter supply/wish called dorm supply that u get a lot of free supply cards for as u complete the story (supply card=fates=starrail pass) so dont spend ur crystals on dorm supply (also a lot of people ‘reroll’ their account if they dislike the starter S valkyrie they get, i got rozaliya who isn’t great without unlocking her augment core but I didnt reroll tho cuz i didnt think about it plus i got palatinus equinox pretty early on who carried me.

best S valks to get on dorm supply imo would be azure empyrea, stygian nymph, or herrscher of thunder but u can make do with a lot of others too.

best support/SP valks to get fragments of in the basic currency shop: starry impression and golden diva and now terminal aide (i swear by haxxor bunny but shes gonna be outclassed by a new valk kira in a bit) basically all the valks from pardofelis to prometheus are doing really good damage if u have some of their gear and are the newest sp characters

THIS UPDATE: currently u have dreamweaver (hot white haired spear mommy) who is a physical dps and should be pretty decent so if ur a simp shes here for another 20+ days. also unlike genshin it’s much easier to get a characters gear (weapon + 3 stigmata) so i recommend pulling in that if u get the character early (which happens frequently but not too frequently bc herrscher ely came to me SO late i only got one stig) OH dreamweaver also is the first spear character and idk if theres much for craftables so definitely go for her spear

hhhhh that was so much information and covered like nothing lmk if u actually play im totally willing to answer questions as u play😭🫶

also to other players if any of my info is wrong plz correct me lol bc i also need help😖

[risingsunresistance]

ok ok i've been inspired here is a big ramble about worldbuilding stuff that i think makes the resistance fight more interesting

under a read more bc 1) i need this to be sectioned into paragraphs and 2) i imagine this is gonna be WAY LONGER on a phone than it is on my laptop screen rn

okay so first of all. SCREW YOU SKYBLOCK TIME THAT'S REALLY BORING!! so skyblock goes through a year in about 5 days in our time. one day/night cycle is 20 real minutes. cool right? dante's reign lasted a little over 2 years! WRONG. admins are lame and decided that it's not an Actual year, it's literally a period of 5 days. one of the hub NPCs explains that the nights just go by REALLY fast here. BUT WHY WOULD A DICTATOR ONLY BE ELECTED FOR LIKE 12 DAYS THAT'S SO LAME, A 2YR PERIOD GIVES THE SITUATION SO MUCH MORE URGENCY... i think it's more fun to imagine being "logged in" puts you in an odd state of time where you experience more time than what passes. players stuck in the server were only gone for ~12 days but they Felt over 2 years go by. like that one training chamber in dbz or whatever

ALSO IMPORTANT. travel was banned by dante after a while. this meant that you were stuck wherever you were. 2 things of note here tho. 1) it's implied that all the islands including the player homes are connected physically, so theoretically you could fly to someone else's island, maybe even to the hub and back, if you were someone who could fly (maybe you have wings?) or if you have enough mana and dedication lol... but also point number 2. you could still log out, technically that's travel when you think of the servers/smps/etc as all being connected in some way. well that's no fun. imagine instead being fully cut off from the outside world. no chat to friends who arent logged in, no escape, nothing. there were probably poor outsiders who saw their friend suddenly disappear without a trace for a while. skyblock players are prone to do that, but they arent even available in chat?? that's not like them :/ augh i love it i love thinking abt ppl wondering where their friend went and they're like "lol sorry we had to kill some dictator. yea it was this whole thing. the admins all trapped us on the server too. no they were on his side. yea :/"

so anyways with that out of the way, think of how much more serious the resistance becomes with just those two changes. TWO YEARS dante spends making the place unlivable, slowly taking everything from you. money, pets, access to buildings (unless you pledge your allegiance to him of course), travel... but eventually you find out there's ppl who are planning on rising up against him. well why rise up, cant we just contact the admins? nope, no contact with the outside, we're trapped here. also, they're on his side anyways. yes, even simon. this resistance is gonna secretly make and distribute armor with the power to fight off dante. apparently he gets his energy from the moon or something. also dante banned the sun. dont ask how. either simon did that for him or dante has some very concerning powers. they have to get people with their cause without getting caught, but dante eventually puts out a notice that he caught word of a resistance brewing... so we got caught somehow. are there other people are on his side? one of our own reported us? well that might be a MASSIVE problem one day. could have also been an admin, since two of the generals live with one (aaaaand one of them would eventually become an admin. he also didnt lay a hand on dante during the fight despite being a general. hmmmmmmm)

it's all done and settled and things need to be rebuilt. everything is okay. someone put up a grave for dante, saying dante best of course. so his supporters live on. great, awesome, love that. but much worse than that. a goon was spotted in the main hub. no not the skyblock hub. the MAIN hub. outside of the skyblock realm. they escaped........

[figula]

todaaaay

been rewatching early seasons of the walking dead, still think rick grimes is one of the sexiest men to ever be put on screen particularly when he goes full ricktator. forgot how in the earlest season as well the zombies had a vague aura of sentience about them which i think makes them more menacing. like duane's mum trying to get into the house + those two walkers using a rock to try and break the door down etc. i think it makes sense to have lost that tho as their bodies degrade further but it was a cool aspect. zombies are the only supernatural entity i think are like fucking CHILLING tbh

ben worked from home 2day, was nice (tues + fri are his wfh days)

my sister's coming next week to look at bridesmaids dresses :) anxious about covid (as fuckin usual lol) bc she's not careful in the slightest + has gone back to her normal life w/o masks etc but she had it in december so she should still be protected

ana linked me this document on the "classification of the anatomical variation in female external genitalia" (extremely NSFW, literally just vulva photographs w/ descriptors + such) and we both became obsessed w/ it + discussed it in the kitchen for hours. not sure why it piqued our interest so much to be honest. anyway i made ben take photos so i could check my colourings against the swatches. it was a good time! i should say that i know absolutely nothing about this group/study, i did have a quick look at their site to check that im not linking to something overtly and obviously heinous and couldn't see anything, but dont read this as an endorsement anyway. im literally just reporting that me and ana became obsessed w/ this document + spent the afternoon trying to colour match our genitals innit

was very hungry today + decided to just eat whatever i wanted today with the only limitation being that i didnt think i should buy any more food, so i only ate what i already had in teh house... which tbh wasn't actually what i wanted lmao i wanted chewy fruit sweets + crisps and i didnt have either of those :| but i didnt want to spend like £20 on groceries to sate a craving. i feel both like pleased i just did what my body wanted today + also like embarrassed that i just did what my body wanted today

[everydaydg]

Big ball of life!

A neat update on what ive been up to lately because im bad at posting things when its not 11-12 in the morning. just a big ol ramble

Big apologies to all my mutuals that are not awake at the hours of the day haha...

So! A couple oooooof things!

I tried the Chicheme Boba!! (and went to the mall)

I went to the mall around 5pm the other day, sun was setting but I had something planned out.

A nice 128GB sandisk usb, at just 10 bucks

what a fucking deal! ive wanted one of those for my wii since I hacked it!!

So I walked all the way there, went to the new tech store they opened up in the place; a nice guy then went and pointed me in the right direction (despite... going there like 3 days prior so I already knew where it was lol) and picked up the USB, all of that went without a hitch

So that was all done, my main reason to go to the mall was done but then I realized "Oh hey I have like 15 bucks at hand, I can proly get myself a used vita game! The game store usually sells stuff at like... 12 bucks? should be fine!"

... it was 20 bucks... but hey! I know where to find a copy of walking dead and wipeout haha

So I was going back to the entrance a lil thought peeped my interested... that chicheme boba... I had posted about it when I was eating shawarma... man it was tempting but I didnt get it that day. Temptation struck me again on the way out and I was too weak

And so I bought it... a large one too because... again it was in the budget and I dont buy boba ever so might as well make it a real treat to remember.

god it was so fucking big it lasted me all the walk back home... and my god was it delicious but maybe I shoudnt have added pudding

never tried pudding on boba so I wanted to give it a shot and it wasnt bad! but having the corn of chicheme, the bubbles themselves and the pudding was a bit much to chew on

But as for the flavor itself, the nice taste of chicheme and the sweetness of brown sugar boba, two of my favorite drinks combined into one sweet delight.

What a treat it was! (Again prolly shoudnt add pudding if im going to order it again but man it was great)

What a wierd product to sell. It does feel like a cheap way to pander to panamanians by making boba with a popular traditional drink... but shit man im the target audience, I know they were gunning for someone like me to drink the corn tapioca nightmare and I am me god damm it

it was nice 8.5/10

(man that usb is really dang nice...)

I had a grand day at the park today!

I love going to the park. Its basic as hell but there is nothing more delightful to me than getting a good walk outside. I do spend alot of time cooped up in my house because theres always hobbies to mess with and I dont have much to do at any rate

but that doesnt mean I dont like going out.

Whether its taking a walk through the city or going to the park, its always a delight but today I chose a nice walk through the park to see what had changed since I last visited!

Went out early, made breakfast and then got out before the sun started to get violent.

oh my did a couple of things change alright, to start. the devil found his way in heaven

was greeted by the... sight of a PRIME vending machine... I dont think the two people behind that drink are very good peopleeeeee and I dont care for that kind of beverage soooooo... eh

not gonna throw a hissy fit over it tho.

Now! something cool!

Theres a chinese lantern festival going on in the park till early february!! Man it was really lovely seeing all the stuff they had set up!! I didnt take alot of pictures haha but was very much enthralled with this fish and snake

Oh man I should visit at night! would make for a wonderful experience

(neat stickers)

I had a hell of a good walk going around the park. The sun might have gotten mean but man that didnt't stop me from having a lovely time!

(Man looking at this thing after being in this website for a few years now... some people would fucking murder for the kink water fountain... I speak to too many people that would be into this sort of thing...)

After a solid bit I was a bit tired of walking so I thought id go and check how the library was doing! The park just has... a fucking library in the middle of it because why not and I love it. its a lovely place. I visit it semi frequently when im bored... havent renewed my library card in years tho...

Man they had old Guinness record books... man the 2000s one was in all silver and everything... didnt give it a read tho, wasnt feeling like it.

I thought libraries having software was but a myth but... no they did have software arround, that was funny.

Their internet lounge is FUCK ASS OLD DUDE

THOSE COMPUTERS ARE THE SAME ONES IVE SEEN FOR OVER A DECADE...

I wasnt feeling like reading something heavy either, so I picked out something light that caught my eye, right next to a book about taking good care of iguanas... a book dating back to the 70s about cats.

Pola Weiss - The Most Beautiful Cats

Translated to Spanish.

Good god, the poor bastard had no cover anymore, with so much use it was faded, it was but a white slab... or maybe it was printed that way? what an odd choise, you'd think they would want to show a cute kitty in the cover like the english release but... they didn't for the translation???

(Picture of original release)

only way you could tell what book was even about was with the spine of the thing which surprisingly lasted all those years

I know its a bit silly to pick a book of this nature when going to a library with a lot of genuinely useful references for a lot of material id love to invest time in and a bunch of novels I genuinely want to read... but sometimes you want something simple. Digestible. I was already a bit tired from all the walking...

There is no shame in reading a book about cats , there is but a simple joy in reading a book that shows how even 5 decades later... we still love cats. It is good to challenge yourself but there is no shame in taking comfort in a simple delight

And what a delight it was indeed, what a lovely book. you can tell Ms. or Mr. Polla loved cats very much utilizing such fun ways to describe the furry beasts.

Cats and their kittens being described as a mother and their children.

Pola pretty much just referred to kittens as little children that love to play and that children would love to play with... if it wasn't because of their sharp claws.

the first section is just called "Cats, the great philosopher". Its lovely!

Reading about stories and legends of how cats came to be is so silly and fun. I even found out that kitties are blind for 10 days because they dont have the strength to open their eyelids

I didn't finish it sadly but ill gladly go back and read more.

So after getting my fill of cat reading, I picked up my bag and bottle of water and headed off but I noticed something neat

"Hemeroteca"

I genuinely had no idea that bellow the main floor had one of those.

I thought that floor was storage because of how many ladders and pots where down there... genuinely didnt look like a floor anyone should go to haha...

It was a archive of newspapers!

they had a bunch of articles on Martyrs' Day, some encased in glass covering anniversaries of the date through time... man... same building where you can read about someone's passion of cats, you can read archives of mayor historical events that shaped the country... man its going to be 61 years since that happened...

60 years later and the students who fought to have the flag in the zone of the canal are not forgoten, theres something beautiful in history... man... reading a story like that in an age where a dumb fuck can just go on and say he can take away the whole canal...

...

Listen. I like to be a simple blog that tries to stray away from heavy topics, as a form of escapism for anyone that follows and for myself... but lets not be ignorant of how things are going. I know you've heard about it enough... I'm terrified.

I post about silly things as a way to not get depressed and keep remembering that yeah, I love the world... even if the people in it can be... so fucking stupid sometimes.

Hey... its not all bad news, outside of the US there's a lot of wonderful things happening. The world is advancing always and that's beautiful... lets live to see more.

It will pass. as all things do.

Lets live to tell history, ok?

Let's live.

-

After a long day out, I walked back home and relaxed with some Wii games with that new USB stick. happy to live another day.

and that's just... a lil ball of life of mine. a big ramble from the guy behind the screen.

Not alot of proof reading on my behalf... sorry... im pretty tired hehe...

Well then. Good night everyone and sorry if it got a bit heavy by the end there.

[930am]

under the cut for spoilers if u care…

overall i liked it a lot was a great experience and ill definitely play it again im usually a serious side quest completer and i did my best with this game but i think i still missed quite a lot of them haha. surprisingly i built my characters very well for someone who knows nothing about d&d (i thought ranger class meant you had to be an archer when i started…) and nothing was super easy or super difficult at the normal difficulty so well balanced and pretty fun i got really into the fighting by the end which i wasnt expecting

in terms of game mechanics a few things annoyed me a little…

1. this is especially true towards the end game but when youre in a fight with a large number of enemies (like 15-30) you are kinda forced to sit thru each of them taking their turn and at times the AI was a bit slow so it would get to an npc’s turn the npc would stand there doing nothing for 20 seconds then take 20 more seconds to complete their actions. then this times the 20 something other enemies there i really liked the fighting generally but moments like this where you would be waiting 5-10 minutes for your turn again i would get quite bored lol i did 3 word searches while waiting for my turn during the final two fights

2. sometimes you had to talk to people a little too much for example i would get on my computer to play for an hour or two and i would be looking to fight at least a little but sometimes you would not encounter that at all and have to spend your time doing the starting point of questlines where you walk around and speak to randoms for the whole hour u know. could be how i played the game though i like getting thru one area entirely instead of going back and forth between places and especially at the start of act ii and iii the first few hours i would do nothing but walk around and speak to people

3. okay now for my romance hot take: i think it was all too easy and when a game makes things too easy for you i find i like it much less. i did nothing at the start but not be outright rude to all the companions i met on the road but this let me sleep with whoever i wanted which was kinda a letdown because i think you should have to put some work in and at least have to try to flirt with them first!! i was propositioned by four characters in the first act and as i said i was really not going out of my way to romance anyone.

that being said i wish i romanced karlach she was def my fave character and i brought her everywhere and we became besties by the end (and i let her turn into a mind flayer for me and also for herself so she wouldnt die) but the reason i initially didnt is because i met her the same day as the night of the tiefling party and i thought it would be too soon to be doing that but then after i picked someone else she gave the remark everyone else did when i didnt pick them which was ???? ive known you five minutes why do u wanna sleep w me??? but whatever i liked her arc the best i loveeee her voice not sure what kinda british accent it is but its very pleasing to hear and she was always so charming. i ended up romancing astarion but im not sure i would do it again i love vampires ofc but he was kinda annoying me the whole time idk he was too fanfic-y for me. and i let him turn evil but then he got even more annoying so i broke up with him lol his loss

idk i think in rpg games i prefer if u can very briefly flirt with someone not completely get into a committed relationship (or at least have it be much harder than it was here) if u really feel something for some polygons you should have to put some work in yourself to see these kinda results! but thats just me im aware im in the minority of players here

also i finished bg3 last night finally!! my first playthrough took me over 90 hours i will write out my thoughts later

[ikyw-t]

man i just keep having this totally irrational feeling that if i go and apply at the same job where i first met this boy almost 3 years ago exactly now that somehow it would magically turn back the clock and he'll show up for the first time again and i could spent less of the time before he moved away being unnecessarily anxious or such a wallflower about everything and that maybe i wouldn't be feeling so sad about it rn if i had just enjoyed those brief six months a little bit more while it was still happening

[kumzume]

glam ft. todoroki shotō [smhub]

wc. 2.8k :3

warnings. ownership, soft-ish!dom reader, edging, v v lowkey pet play (u call him bunny lol), quiet whiny shoto, begging, miss k*nk (?), slight humiliation k*nk, crying, um

an. SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG HOLY S WORD I HOPE ITS OK I DIDNT GET ANYONE TO BETA IT SO IF THERE ARE ISSUES M SO SORRY LOVE YALL TY FOR WAITING

▼・ᴥ・▼

shoto todoroki was so pretty.

it wasn’t like he wasn’t aware — he’d heard the whispers amongst the girls back at U.A. about how attractive he was. that didn’t keep him from believing those words, his insecurities gripping him so tightly that he was unable to even imagine that anyone found him remotely appealing.

that is, until he met you.

when you first transferred into 3-A, the class was thrown into an uproar. you were beautiful, kind, and funny with a powerful quirk to boot! and yet, you never believed that you were better than anyone else, always treating every single person with respect — even bakugou (shoto couldn’t even pretend to understand how you did it but still, the behavior was so undeniably you).

it was all of your remarkable traits that ended up being shoto’s downfall. he believed you were way out of his league — you deserved someone emotionally available and sweet, things that todoroki felt, no knew, he was not. besides, with every single guy in the nearest vicinity falling for you, he knew he didn’t even have a chance.

so, shoto resigned himself to observe you from afar, watching your interactions with his closest friends and classmates, wishing that he could make you smile as wide as kirishima and deku or laugh as hard as sero and denki.

he knew he didn’t measure up and while he tried to make himself okay with that, he felt jealousy bubbling up beneath his skin when he observed shinsou helping you with your homework or bakugou training with you after school.

of course, he realized he didn’t belong to you or you to him and he had no real reason to be envious of whoever you chose to spend your time with but that didn’t stop him from fucking his hand late at night at the thought of you hovering over him, pressing soft kisses to his mangled scar and calling him beautiful.

shoto came embarrassingly quick with that fantasy, the shame and disappointment overwhelming him to the point where he’d purposefully ignored you for days after.

he could tell you were hurt by his behavior — he wasn’t entirely oblivious — but he knew it was for the best. you deserved so much more than him.

the both of you graduated and moved on to your respective agencies, shoto swiftly making his way up to the number 2 spot while you sat comfortably at number 17. neither of you saw each other very often but when you did, conversation was stilted and a bit awkward due to the intense attraction and inability to act on it on shoto’s part.

shoto was willing to go the rest of his life like this; seeing you briefly in passing, stumbling through a discussion with much difficulty, and then returning to his penthouse to hump his pillow and cry out your name.

it was a pretty good system for the most part. shoto had no worries about ever having to face his feelings for you and was content to live out his days suppressing his inner turmoil just for you.

unfortunately, the universe hates him.

at least that’s what he told himself as he stood in the center of a boardroom next to you, clad in your hero outfits and listening to instructions on an upcoming mission that required you and shoto to work together. alone. for days at a time.

what the fuck.

to be honest, shoto completely tuned out the minute he heard “one bedroom,” his mind racing with all the horribly tempting ways his fantasies could play out.

by the time the meeting was over, he was hard in his pants and entirely distracted as you attempted to make friendly small talk about your mission. shoto sort of felt like he should apologize for being an absolute brick wall, giving you curt one word answers until you decided to leave him alone.

he felt bad but what else could he do when you stood there, wearing your obscene hero costume that revealed way too much of your skin?

well, shoto was being a little dramatic but that’s how he felt! your suit was a play on the playboy bunny costume but instead of being black leather (he thinks he would actually die if you wore leather in front of him), it was a white, lightweight fabric that helped with your quirk.

it was entirely too sexy and reminded him a little too much of one of his secret kinks that he was determined to never let see the light of day.

it was going to be ok! he reasoned. all he had to do was do his job, ignore you like he’s done for the past 3 years and everything would be just fine — right?

wrong. so fucking wrong.

the mission had gone well on all accounts. you both had kicked ass, much to your enjoyment, and were able to go back home a day early!

you were so excited to finally be back in your own bed and away from the weird tension that being around todoroki brought. it wasn’t that you didn’t like him — in fact it was quite the opposite.

you found shoto alluring and gorgeous, his awkward yet endearing mannerisms drawing you further into the mystery that was shoto todoroki. regrettably, it didn’t seem like the man in question was on the same page.

every time you tried to speak with him, he would either stutter and blush or refuse to look you in the eye and give you one-word answers. it was actually ridiculously cute but he would always disappear the first chance he got.

it hurt but you weren’t one to push boundaries where you weren’t wanted.

that’s why that night, instead of going back up to the room to watch tv (uncomfortably, might i add) and knocking yourself out, you decided to go down to the bar and celebrate a job well done.

one of the perks of being a relatively unknown hero was that you could enjoy a night in public without anyone approaching you, a luxury you knew not many top 20 heroes could afford.

with that thought — and the memory of the stifling hotel room awaiting you upstairs — in mind, you made your way to the sparsely populated bar, sitting down and immediately requesting a drink (bourbon, on the rocks).

you scanned the area, counting the number of exits and patrons before your eyes landed on the handsome bartender down at the other end of the counter.

with curly brown hair, bright green eyes and a smile that could kill, there was no way you could lie to yourself and say he was unattractive. even as your mind briefly entertained the notion of taking the brunette out into the alley and fucking him within an inch of his life, your heart just wasn’t in it.

your mind just couldn’t stop drifting to the tall, dual-haired, oh so pretty, man who was (inadvertently) waiting for you upstairs. of course, you weren’t even his to wait for but you didn’t know how to keep from imagining that he was.

a deep sigh escaped your parted lips before you downed the rest of your drink, wincing at the burn it left as it went down your throat. it was getting late and you weren’t planning on spending your night alone with the janitor.

you sent the cute bartender a soft smile while pressing a crisp $20 to the counter. he sent you his own grin back as his eyes trailed down your body clad in your tight hero suit, licking his plump lips in arousal.

you were flattered, truly, but you were a little occupied with getting back to your room, changing into some comfortable pajamas and conking the fuck out.

the trip back up to your room was long and arduous to your sore body, the elevators being out of commission leaving you to take the stairs.

by the time you were at your door, you were so worn out that you were ready to collapse but before you could manage placing your key against the lock, something caught your ear.

“p-please miss,” a breathy moan of your name followed by a wet slapping noise rang out through the door. “i’ll be your perfect bunny, just let m-me cum, please-!!”

holy fuck.

shoto todoroki, the man you’d been crushing on since your years at UA was now touching himself to the thought of you doing god know what to him and he was calling you miss?

you felt heat flood your core, your knees buckling under the heavy weight of your lust. now braced against the door, you leaned your ear against the wood, determined to hear exactly what was getting him off.

more wet noises permeated through the walls — did he just spit in his palm??? — before a long whine left his pretty pink lips.

“m-miss, i belong to you, y-you own me,” he gasped, the creaking of the bed just barely audible beneath his wavering voice.

by now, you knew you’d soaked through the crotch of your hero costume, your clit throbbing painfully beneath the fabric of your panties. you also knew you should turn around, head back to the bar and order another drink, leaving shoto to finish himself off but you couldn’t.

your feet were implanted in place, ear glued against the door as you listened to your partner masturbate to the thought of you owning him.

quietly, you lifted the hand gripping your key to the door, allowing the touchpad to register before slowly pushing the door open.

the sight that greeted you was otherworldly.

the blinds were parted allowing a dreamy haze of moonlight to envelop the room, casting the pale man before you in a somehow whimsical light.

he was stripped down to nothing, lying on his back with a hand wrapped around his gorgeous, swollen cock, furiously stroking himself to completion.

the plump lips that you had spent so much time admiring were parted, allowing whines and whimpers to leave them sporadically as his lithe hips bucked up into his hand.

shoto’s eyes were clenched shut so he was unable to see your dumbfounded, painfully aroused face as you crept into the room, leaning against the wall with your hand pressed to your mouth.

it wasn’t as though you’d never seen a man naked before — you’d had your fair share of men naked in your bed begging for you — but this was something else.

this was shoto — somehow more intimidating than anyone else you’d ever brought to bed and yet you’ve never wanted anyone more.

which is why you were almost surprised at yourself when you opened your mouth and whispered, “stop.”

immediately, shoto’s eyes shot open, wide with fear and apprehension as he lied there frozen, his hand still wrapped tightly around his girth.

the both of you stood there staring at one another, neither of you able to move. you let yourself have this moment to look at him, your eyes tracking all over his muscular form before landing on his length, not missing how it twitched under your gaze.

“i-“ shoto started but he was quickly interrupted by your own voice. “s’this what you do when i’m gone? touch yourself to the thought of me? you’re so dirty bunny.”

it was impossible to hide the low groan that echoed out in the hotel room, shoto’s cheeks burning red in humiliation. a grin crept across your face as you made your way towards him, giggling to yourself at the way he moved up and away from you on the bed.

“now you’re trying to hide, bunny? you weren’t hiding when you were moaning out my name.” your hand slid up his thigh until it was resting on his sharp hipbone, an abrupt gasp leaving his chest.

your hand continued its trajectory, fingers trailing across his tummy before coming to wrap around the base of his cock.

“o-oh fuck, miss—“ a thick drop of precum leaked from his slit and onto your awaiting hand as a low moan departed from the dual-haired boy.

one of his hands shot out to hold yours, drawing your attention to his heterochromatic gaze. shoto’s eyes held so much emotion, small tears already littering his lashline while the moonlight illuminated his crimson scar. he was ethereal.

“pretty,” you hummed, giving him a gentle smile while your hand squeezed his in reassurance. you’d had enough experience to know that that kind of comment was guaranteed to get some kind of vulnerability but what you were not expecting was the expletive shoto muttered before leaning forward to press his lips to yours.

immediately, he was over-enthusiastic, his lips and teeth clashing with yours messily, almost painfully, before you took control of the kiss, slowing shoto down before slipping your tongue inside his mouth.

his quiet groan vibrated into the kiss as you deliberately laid him down, resting his back against the pillows. from there, you had more access to his body, your lips trailing down to his neck while your hand took its place back on his length, lazily pumping him up and down.

“m-miss!” shoto choked, his eyes widening yet again, holding you with his stare. you chose not to respond, instead stroking him quicker while pressing kisses to his shoulder.

“miss,” he tried again, this time more deliberately. “p-please tell me i’m yours...”

with him asking so sweetly, a few tears leaking from his gorgeous eyes at the overwhelming moment, how were you supposed to deny him?

“of course bunny,” you purred, leaning down to peck his nose, sending shivers through his body. “you are mine.”

shoto’s reaction was instantaneous. his eyes rolled back in his head and his mouth dropped open as he felt his pleasure begin to crest, determined to push him over the edge.

you, of course, noticed his body’s response and quickly pulled your hand off of him, painfully ripping his orgasm from his grasp. a disappointed whimper resonated throughout the room as shoto’s eyes found yours, staring at you with such betrayal that you almost found it funny.

“c’mon bunny,” you moved until you were kneeling between his legs, your hands leaving featherlight touches to his inner thighs. “you can hold out for me, right?”

shoto nodded before he could stop himself, desperate for anything you would give him.

besides, it couldn’t be that hard to hold off, right?

...

wrong. so very wrong.

it had only been 30 minutes but it felt like 2 hours since you started playing with him and keeping him from coming.

shoto was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, both hands tangled in his bi-colored locks, eyes squeezed shut with tear tracks now drying on his cheeks and his cock standing fully at attention.

it was purple, throbbing, and covered in precum as you licked a stripe up the side making shoto sob in pleasure.

he had never been harder in his life and he was certain that he would just die if you didn’t let him cum soon.

“p-please, please, miss, please, let me cum,” he babbled, shaking his head mindlessly while bucking his hips up into the warm heat of your mouth.

you chose to ignore his pleas while you moved your mouth over his tip, sucking hard while your hand pumped what wasn’t in your mouth.

“a-ah-!!” shoto shrieked, his back bowing off the bed, his orgasm coming on so hard and so fast that he felt like he was going to explode. “c-can’t hold back m-miss, i can’t, i can’t!”

your hand continued to pick up speed before you pulled your mouth off of him, toying with his tip while leaning up to breathe into his ear.

“cum for me bunny. you’re mine.”

with a cry of your name, shoto came, thick spurts of cum covering his abs, chest and thighs as his body convulsed under the weight of his bliss.

it was the most all encompassing orgasm he’d ever had and you, his former classmate, current partner, and future lover, was beside him through it all, helping him ride it out.

in the back of his mind, shoto knew he should be at least a little worried about how your relationship was going to change after all of this but he couldn’t bring himself to care. you were here and now, bringing him the most pleasure he’d ever undergone with nothing but kind words and a smile, filling his touchstarved heart with heat and, dare he say it, love.

shoto may not have been the funniest or the most open but you chose him, even if it was just for the night. and now that he unlocked how much he loved you, nothing else mattered — just you and him.

as he collapsed back into the sheets, his head just barely registering the cool rag wiping him down, he took pride in how he finally admitted it to himself; shoto loved you and he would be damned if he let anyone else take him away from you.

now, all he had to do was tell you but that was a conversation for another day.

▼・ᴥ・▼

taglist. if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you!!

@anikazoldeck • @hakunamatatayqueen • @alilsumnsumn • @sukunaslefttesticle • @hawksyoongi • @rivviespens • @kenmas-nintendoswitch • @myumyutie • @unicorngluttony • @bloomyagi • @shantellmcintosh • @queenhxla • @yeyehdom • @persies-main • @yikes-buddy • @nnmesis • @thehandsresisthim • @hinatabokeboke • @joongsite • @amazinghefi • @sarcasticambiguity • @mr-bombastic • @i-am-literally-deranged • @ch0pi • @aonjuh • @www-bubblefish • @meliorist-midoriya • @maizurie • @idkdude776 • @midarislonglostlefteye • @queerloser17 • @franklyrobin • @ravioliplease • @ashsera • @chirumi • @yamashiro888 • @xxjosiexx • @krstnn • @bbsista • @seij6hs • @franklyrobin • @chirumi • @melodysakura

[burnedbyshoto]

I had this idea for some beautiful izuku angst:

so we all know heroes rising, right? of how bakugou got ofa and subsequently lost his memories due to the incomplete transfer or whatever. I have a thought based on that concept.

ofa is a stockpiling quirk, right? we see that it can stockpile quirks for sure, but as a quirk it also keeps in the previous users and their memories, their personalities. I personally headcanon that the reason why bakugou can not remember that he held ofa is because ofa stole his memories. the moments before it happened and the moments during it were taken, absorbed by ofa because that’s all it could take.

so :) if you aren’t quite yet following my thought process, imagine what would happen if midoriya izuku used up the last remaining bits of ofa in his final battle with afo & shiggy... per my headcanon, with ofa being gone from his body, and his memories, experience, his identity stockpiled and saved within ofa, he forgets.

in this... storyline, I guess, deku doesnt find afo & shiggy again until he’s in his 20’s. he has so many friends, mentors, became best friends with bakugou even, and fell in love with you. a high school sweetheart of sorts.

but in order to begin the journey of becoming the greatest hero in the world, he has to end afo & shiggy. it’s just that no one predicted that with the intensity of how ofa was used, and a battle within the vestige that the previous ofa users disappear within the quirk and with the final remnants of ofa, deku succeeds in defeating them at the price of his quirk.

he falls unconscious, so fucking hurt, injured, shaken from the fight as the world cheers for this victory. he’s taken to the hospital, as are many others, and the world waits for him to wake up. and when he wakes up, truly wakes up, in a room filled with faces he can’t name except for inko and bakugou, everyone feels like they’ve been stabbed.

“m-mom?” deku gasps, wincing from his injuries. “what happened, whys kacchan here?” his green eyes look so young, so lost, so confused — and finally they land on you. “who are you?”

there’s nothing wrong with his brain, the doctors confirm, and theres a realization that izuku believed that today was the day in middle school where they were going to be selecting high schools for registration. it isn’t quite said, but you and bakugou already know... ofa stockpiled his memories and burned it away with it.

so now with the war ended, and the world looking for a leader in a man who can’t even remember meeting his idol all might, can’t remember why he’s hurt, can’t remember he was the hero deku, why he’s suddenly 23, and why he can’t explain to the press why he’s suddenly quirkless.

you have to watch deku re navigate himself in this world, refigure himself out. you can’t hope he regains his memories because it’s literally impossible, and it’s a struggle to get him to fall back in love with you because he has so much going on. how do you begin to explain that you were set to elope a week ago? how do you tell a man who can never be who he was who he was? how do you get him to fall back in love with you?

how?

and so you watch and you wait. he’s still the man you love and yet he’s not, and you struggle to accept that. but the thing is, can you accept the same old yet new izuku? can he accept you?

fate versus free will... what a bitch for rearing it’s ugly head so late in the game.

—

—

—

I would like to clarify that you might be like: omg but all might didnt forget!!!!¡¡ so I would like to explain my logic although it’s not good logic lol

all might only remembers his memories and past because he still resided within ofa. his spirit/essence is in it whereas bakugous was ripped out and cast away — like his memories. all might is currently dead in this storyline so like ofa doesn’t even exist within him anymore, keeping izuku from ever remembering anything from when he was 14 till his current age 23. he’s missing 9 super important years in his life and will never get it back & I think this is a type of slowburn angst that can be beautiful because the options of what can happen are endless.

like how would bakugou, todoroki, eri, kouta, uraraka, iida behave towards this knowledge? would eri try to rewind deku to when he had his quirk? what happens if even if she does it, he no longer possess it?

todoroki who literally was able to be who he is right now because of deku? how involved would he be? how hurt would he be?

I feel like uraraka and iida and kouta will be there 100% but they don’t have that emotional weight behind them that bkg, shouto, and eri have but feel free to disagree!!

but bakugou... AUGH!!!! imagine spending a near 8+ years atoning, apologizing, becoming your childhood friend prized rival, friend, and like... he’s currently going above and beyond for an atonement & future apology deku doesnt except or even demand of him because deku never wanted one. the angstttttttt.

[behindthekitty]

Apple Juice Royalty au!

Some of you might have seen my posts about it but basically i have created an au in which Epel is a prince and Deuce is a knight. I will talk more about them with their chatacter sheets ♡♡

First up our new prince Epel! If you cant read my handwriting I'll type it all out here

☆ Generally pretty emo

☆ Hates the cape and crown, but secretly likes the rest of the outfit

☆ likes horses and swordfighting and sports

☆ Was a boy in the village doin alright then he became a prince overnight now hes gotta figure out how to do it right so much to learn and see up in the c-

Epel is new prince adopted by the king. Under what circumstances, I'm not sure. Its possible his parents died and he was left all alone before Vil scooped him up. Despite what hes been given he's really miserable having to stay in the castle and learn a totally new dialect and manners and study all the time. He hates it. He wants to leave, and so he does. Epel escapes his home often. Also he's basically a disney princess at this point lol

About the outfit: Its based off of epel's dorm uniform and i also used some references from pinterest and Halloween costumes lol

Next is King Vil!

☆ In his 20's or so

☆ sighs a lot

☆ Having ro lead a country + lowkey raising a teen + looking good all the time is stressful

☆ But he manages

☆ Help

Vil became king, most likely when his father died. He decided to adopt an heir early on to save himself the trouble, but it really caused more trouble than it prevented. Epel's a handful and also really angsty. Dealing with him is bothersome, especially when he somehow keeps escaping even when Vil posts more and more guards around the castle, he always gets out somehow. It used to make him angry but he decided it wasn't worth the stress after a little while. Now he just sends people to go look for him whenever he escapes.

About the outfit: I used the same combination of references as I did for Epel, but i was also able to take influence from the evil queen.

Knight Deuce Spade!

☆ Takes his job seriously!

☆ a little too seriously!

☆ Obviously in love with Epel but will deny it to hell.

☆ Can't tall to Epel without blushing and sputtering

☆ Has a weakness for pretty boys

Deuce is a new knight trying to do everything right and make his mother proud. His backstory is the same as it is in canon. Wanting to do right by everyone ends up with him taking his job a little too seriously but he's also terrible at the job he tries so hard at. He's not a good fighter and also dumb. But lucky for him, nothing truly dangerous ever happens in their country.

His conflict is wanting to do his job right and also being head over heels for epel and wanting to see him happy.

About the outfit: I didnt design it, i stole it from some kid. But it fits him doesnt it? source

Chief Riddle Rosehearts!!

☆ Bite-sized knight

☆ Will actually destroy you

☆ Also tired of Epel's BS

☆ I wanted to draw him holding a sword :(

Riddle is another who takes his job very seriously. And he has to. He's the Chief knight and is thus the leader. Everyone has to follow his lead, no ifs ands or buts about it. If you argue, he'll yell at you and thats never fun.

Riddle is the guy Vil calls on whenever Epel escapes. At this point whenever Riddle is called in, this is what he expects the reason is. Riddle puts his all into finding Epel everytime and honestly cares more about it than everyone else does.

I wanted to draw him holdinga sword but couldn't figure it out

About the outfit: I couldn't find many refs of the kind of armor i was going for but it was fine. I took a lot of inspiration from his overblot form. Ignore the fact that he's on a tilt.

Other less important characters!

Trey!

☆ follows Riddle around

☆ Help

Cater!

☆ literally only became a knight to get closer to Vil (simp)

☆ commissions many paintings of himself

Ace!

☆ Messes around, isn't taking this seriously

☆ bad influence

Rook!

☆ Royal advisor

☆ What does he do? Vil doesnt even know.

Everyone else in hearstlabyul is a knight and so please imagine them in the same outfit as Deuce but with their respective symbols.

A lil plot i guess

Epel started sneaking out not too long after he became a prince. As soon as he had settled in he got tired of it. So he'd just leave. These early escapades happened at night whenever Epel was feeling especially emo. He'd normally go to the horse stables and take a ride to clear his mind, or climb a tree and stargaze, something like that. Stuff princes shouldn't do. He'd never leave the castle grounds, though. His secret was only exposed when Deuce found him. He should have reported Epel but that weakness for pretty boys and the empathy he's known for prevented him. It was basically love at first sight when Deuce saw Epel up close for the first time, not that Epel could tell.

After that, Deuce and the other knights (besides riddle) who gradually found out began helping Epel truly escape, like out into the real world. With their help, He could be out for a few days, or weeks even. And as Epel and Deuce start spending more time together, they get closer and closer 👀

My other ships might be here too but I don't really want to design an outfit for Rook lol so mostly just TreyRid on the sidelines maybe.

I do want to make a comic but uhhghnbchg i always quit those lmao I get so unmotivated.

Anyway thank you 4 reading! If you have any suggestions for this au, lmk. If you're wondering, I probably won't add any more characters to this au, since i see no reason to. this is it 4 now

[nikrangdan]

photographer!ni-ki

pairing: photographystudent!ni-ki x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff, comedy

description: every time you went to the park you noticed a mysterious boy who would take pictures of the scenery on his cute little camera. you liked to see what he’d take pictures of from afar but one day you noticed his camera pointing straight at.. you

for ni-ki’s bday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOVE <33 sorry i posted a day late but i hope u all enjoy!

———

“y/n!”

you groan before getting out of your bed at 10am

it was a saturday why was your mom yelling at u ..

you walked into the kitchen all sluggishly and rubbed your eyes

“you need to start taking suki on walks to the park. you need the exercise too.” your mom doesn’t even spare u a glance before walking out the door to run some errands

right

u forgot u were taking care of ur cousins dog while he was out of town... her name was suki

shes a little shiba inu AND SHES THE CUTEST THING EVER!!!!

WELP

u dont even have a choice anymore

u got somewhat ready before heading out with suki in your arms

shes so soft and fluffy

though u dont like to admit it, u kinda agreed with ur mom about u needing to exercise and get out the house

you’ve been cooped up in your room for days with no social or nature interaction

so

the park was about a 10 minute drive from ur house

and it was actually a really pretty park...

there was a lake and really pretty flowers everywhere and alot of gazebos and benches

and a nice open field of greenery

it basically looked like a park out of a movie

so you weren’t suprised that there was a decent amount of people there

but not too much thankfully.. or else you would’ve driven to another park with less people

you got out the car with suki and put her on the leash

let the walking begin!!!!

it was a really nice day out... the sun was shining but it wasnt too hot or cold

you led her onto the sidewalk and she began sniffing at the grass around her

whenever a few people would pass they would coo at how adorable she was

it wasnt until 5 minutes later that ur eyes locked onto a figure infront of the lake

you were just walking with suki in silence.. admiring the scenery

until u caught sight of a boy

u could only see his back but u noticed the camera over his shoulder

he was standing in one of those photographer poses where like one leg is bent and kind of out while his back is hunched to get that perfect angle of a shot

he was infront of the sidewalk railings where the lake begins and he was taking photos of the scenery across from it

it was a beautiful sight honestly

there was another sidewalk but behind it was colorful trees and blossoming flowers and bushes

u understood why he’d take pictures of it

you didnt see his face but u kind of acknowledged the boy before walking past him with suki

basically thinking he was just another passerby that you noticed making a single appearance in your life and never expecting to see him again

OH BOY U WERE WRONG

the next time you see him is 3 days later at the same park

you were walking suki again but this time at 7pm after dinner

the sun was almost done setting so the sky was getting darker but there was still a hint of the orange circle peeking from below

this time you walked further down the sidewalk path towards the scattered gazebos

and you noticed the same boy again

this time he was sat in one of the gazebos with his tiny camera in his hands

his back was hunched over again and he was looking closely at the pictures he had taken

‘oh its him again’ u thought

and that was it

LOL

u just acknowledged him in ur head AGAIN before u thought nothing of it and continued ur walk with suki

so the NEXT time u saw him was another 2 days later at 7pm again

you wanted to take suki on a quick walk

but you got tired after like 10 minutes so you sat down on a blanket u brought

suki was just laying next to u while u were on ur phone

it wasnt fully dark out yet and there was still a few people in the park

the fairy lights that were placed around were lit up already

it was super pretty and the weather was nice

after staring at ur phone for a few mins u looked up just to look around

and u saw Him again

wow

why do u keep seeing him !?!?!

his back was faced towards u like always

and he was like 40 feet away from u so he looked so tiny

but u could tell it was him because of his blond hair and black coat he always wore

you kind of zoned out and unfortunately ur eyes were trained on his back without u even noticing

and he

turned

around

for the first time EVER!!!!

its like he sensed someone staring at him

but yes he turned around with his camera in his hand

the first thing u noticed was that he got a new camera

it was a larger black one

definitely more expensive

Awe good for him!!!!!

and then u glanced up to see his face

and u made EYE CONTACT

u looked away so fast

because

He was SO CUTE.............

u awkwardly started looking to your left and tried turning ur face away from him

‘oh look at those beautiful um... birds.. yeah’

hopefully he didnt notice

*nervously sweats*

u didnt dare look back in that direction so u spent the rest of your evening in the park on ur phone or playing with suki

eventually it reached 8pm so u packed up ur stuff and went home

U were still kind of thinking about that boy....

so u were like

i need to go back

and u did Lol

u went back the next day at 6pm this time with suki

it was lighter out and the sky was beautiful

perfect for a certain boy to be taking photos

*evil laugh*

u were walking for like 15 minutes and u didnt see him anywhere :((((

the one time u go there for HIM

u settled down under a tree

suki immediately went on the blanket when u sat down too

you played tug of war with her and fed her some treats while playing

playing with her for 10 minutes straight definitely tired u out so u laid down and just stared at the sky

it was a faded blue turning into orange and pink

U were kinda bored so u sat up and started petting suki

you would occasionally glance up at the strangers walking past u

and

let me tell u what Happened..

u looked up at another lady walking her dog and went like

‘aweee that dog is so cute’ in ur head

and u took ur eyes off the dog and glanced to ur right

idk bc u felt like it

AND GUESS WHAT U SEE???!??????

THE BOY

LIKE 20 FEET AWAY

STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FIELD

AND HE HAD HIS CAMERA UP TO HIS FACE

and it WAS POINTED AT U ??!?!

as soon as u looked in his direction he jumped and put his hands down

he like

Blushed????? and awkwardly smiled u know rubbing the neck and all that

he was embarrassed

ur cheeks were turning so red

BUT HE WAS SO ADORABLE

was kind of weird.... stalkerish but um

he cleared that up BECAUSE

He started walking over to u

he was wearing black jeans that were ripped on the knees with black high top converse

and a gray sweater with a black coat over it

HE JUST LOOKED CUTE OK

ur were like OMg []£{€]%[#{%€]£{

n he just Plop

he stood right infront of u basically towering bc u were sitting under the tree

suki noticed the boy and tilted her head like hmmmm???

u had the SMALLEST smile on ur face bc u wanted to seem friendly but not TOO friendly

he had his camera strap over his arm while he held it and his other hand was rubbing the name of his neck

“uh... sorry about that.. i didn’t mean to seem weird or anything!” he waved his hands infront of him to deny it

u just sat there while he talked like ❤️_❤️

“im uh taking photos for my class and i thought u looked nice so i took some pictures.. im really sorry i should’ve asked first now i seem weird or something im really-,”

u cut him off so he didnt ramble any longer

“no its okay! i get it” you gave him a warm smile and pet suki while she drifted to your side and kept her eyes on him

u both just stared at eachother for a few seconds before you spoke

“um.. would you like to sit?” you scooted over and made room for him in the blanket

WOW U WERE FEELING BOLD TODAY...

“uh sure” he set his camera down and sat beside u

“this is suki.. shes my cousins dog” u said when she climbed into his lap and started sniffing him

he grinned and pet her before looking up at you

“im ni-ki by the way” his cheeks turned a bit pink which u thought was cute

“y/n” you smiled

“suki seems to like you” u laughed

“so how long have you been working on this project or whatever?”

“oh um i started last week... i just have to make a portfolio of photos i take and turn it in” he said while keeping his eyes trained on suki

u noticed he didnt make eye contact with u often but u knew it was probably because he was nervous because u do that too

“can i see the pictures...?” u hesitantly ask him

his eyes light up when u say that

“yeah!”

AWE HES SO EXCITED

he picks up his camera next to him and clicks a few buttons

“oh by the way... ive noticed u at the park before! you’re always with the camera” you laugh

“ah yeah, this park is where most of my project photos are taken.”

he leans over and shows you the pictures on the device

“woah” you let out a gasp

he showed u the picture he took of you first

How does a picture look better than real life...

you’ve never really been into photography but now that you’ve seen his work u might just have to start getting into it

“this isnt even done yet, i still have to edit it so it’ll look even more perfect” he shyly says

“this is amazing what the heck” your jaw is Dropped

“thanks”

“i need to see the final result” u said because it was such a nice picture

“um.. if you give me your number i can show you it” he sent you a cheeky grin

SMOOTH.....

he was so AGGGHGGHG ur kind of obsessed

you two exchange numbers and talk about random things for a whole hour until he says he has to go

“it was really nice meeting you.. i had fun” he tells you as he starts standing up

suki is sleeping so he tries not to wake her up

“i had fun too” you smile

“would you like me to walk you to your car?”

A GENTLEMAN !!?!?!?!

“oh yeah, thanks”

you two spend another 2 minutes together as you walk side by side with suki in your arms and he held your blanket and bag for you

you reached your car and thanked him

“ill see you soon, dont forget to text me! and good luck on the project, i know you’ll do great”

“thank you..”

ni-ki’s cheeks turn pink once more before he turns around and starts walking away with a smile on his face

he is just the cutest thing ever

you definitely need to see him again

[venusiangguk]

BUDGETING

dont know if everyone will still want to know on budgeting lol

I don't want to sound like a bitch yk

BUT

I think the most important thing for me was learning to give yourself the freedom to enjoy things like little by little

I used to do this thing where I was uptight for a super long time and then I wpukd splurge huge amounts and for nothing.

I'm not religious either but I truly believe that setting out a little each month/week for charity is great bc it's always comes back in a form that's greater you know.

Pay rise, new job opportunities, idk good things.

Ik it sounds cringe and gross but I think it's worth it !

THE STEPS LMAO

Okay so I always but in 40%-45% like in the bag already savings I mean (this can obvs be adjusted to fit your own needs but if say keeping over 30% is key!)

And work around everything else in the steps below !!!

If I was brave enough I would send pictures of my last year budgeting plan and how I managed to save !! But I'm not 😭😭😭

the first step for me would be to list your monthly income !

Monthly is way easier to work with and easier to adjust in the long run !

Second would be list out things that have to be paid always. So fixed expenses.

I.e rent, MOT, bills, food ( for this I would highly recommend just having a monthly shopping of like say £20-25 - seems un do able but isnt !!! Frozen veggies are your best friend:)) gym membership, spotify, prime all of that.

Third which is super important for me at least would be to set out a like reward bonus for yourself.

( in cash preferably- like so once it's gone it's gone you know- like monthly rewards for yourself - sometimes you use it and sometimes you dont!! )

Fourth - ALWAYS SET AN EXTRA LIL FUND FOR THE UNEXPECTED THINGS!!! ( car crashes, dentist, medicine if your toaster breaks if your fridge breaks !! all of that lovely stuffs 😃)

So when you look at all that infront you- really just scrutinise it.

Like -

How much of that do you really need to spend?

Is there anything you can cut out on ?

This is super important at least to me bc then I see that yh shit - that is crazy I'm spending useless money )

I think that also keeping student loans separate is SUUUUPER SUUUUPER bc it just. Idk if anyone else is like this but seeing how much they expected from me to be able to learn always depressed me so I made a separate folder for that- made it pretty so it didnt look sooo bad lmao ) but I think the biggest part was getting to grips that I had all that to pay back!!!

Then like random things :

Concerts, events, holidays.

Like make sure you have them planned in advance and make separate funds for all of them.

To cater to what they need! Like for a concert- hotel and food money and merch buying and army bomb and a NEW OUTFITTTT lmao)

And yh - I think setting up a teeny amount for charity or to help ppl is always great aswell bc well idk you feel good and it does always come to find you- doesnt have to be a large amount. Maybe even a food box every month or smn cute and sweet like that !!

This is how I did it : ( kind of irrelevant and just abt silly me lmao but maybe itll help(?))

So i used to work night shifts at this horrible packing place ( it was freezing too but the pay was so good! It was £15-18 an hr ( sometimes even more )and I used to work from 11pm-4am 7 days a week like I didnt take a day off until I quit and i did it for 2 years ! That was like 50k but I had a lot of things to pay off and my parents wanted nearly all of it back off of me 😃)

This is also the NOT the job I wanted yk? Like I used to work with a bunch of stinky ass men and it sucked but I had to do it bc well my parents kicked me out bc I was non religious looool.

I was never enough and I just got kicked out yk? ( oh no not my sob story but just to put it into perspective sort of like I was fucking depressed my money was going like wildfire )

So I had to kind of take everything/every opportunity. They expected a lot back from me too in that way like alot of my learning was going to them :/)

From 5-7

I worked at a bakery ! Cooking and baking and having fun! That was the best job I had the pay wasnt all that but it was something and I needed everything I could get ! It wasnt everyday either but so and so.

I also am bilingual so that way I was able to get a job as a teacher in a daytime school teaching which I did voluntarily! For the first year !

( I had this routine for 2 years!!)

So like I was getting an okay amount from these jobs but god heavens I was spending so unnecessary.

Like a high price for a shit apartment where I would have to pay for things to get fixed to and that was really expensive.

My parents also took alot first year earnings and that's when I was like well shit I have nothing I really need to like get my shit together yk?

There was student loan (- I dont want to like envoke sympathy bc of all this I just wanna like say that my money was kind of slipping away yk I feel like I'm being annoying 😭😭😭 ) - and just a whole lot of wasting on food ( my biggest expenditure- at the time I was struggling with binge eating and bulimia so 🙃🙃 yh )

Dumb shit off amazon, and like just crap you know

Also car petrol and mot and car stuff. and bus and train fares just money can go so easily.

It was just super super tiring to have juggle all these balls at once but when I got the hang of it like doing all those steps I felt more free and more aware of myself and I was able to enjoy while still getting yk the most out of what I do.

I work as a translater/teacher now so the pay is good and like using these steps is how I got the most out of myself

Uh idk If this even makes sense anymore and I'm sorry if come off as bitch too

I don't mean to or come with a sob story

I just think its important to like realise that no matter what and who in your life demands things from you - you always have to choose to look after yourself first- how you choose too look after yourself is ultimately how you choose to look after others too ! Take good care of yourself - give yourself a clearer mind and you'll be able to see a bigger picture- outside of the one built for you !!

If your struggling with other issues - mental health too it can help bring clarity to that too ! Bc it's some sort of semblance.

Gosh I feel gross what if you have to read all of this 😭😭😭

I hope it helps you ♡♡

Budgeting is really important bc we need to buy houses!!

Need property!!!

Start our own businesses !!

Become our own bosses !

It's just super important to know your expenses you can know yourself better too !

And you can be more mature and more self aware

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

Gosh I really ate your ear off with this one

for everyone wondering about our bestie w 50k savings: this is her story !!

[parcoeurs]

Extremely fascinated by your wag AU tag 👀.

thanks bestie so am i.

okay lmao so this isn't an actual fic that'll ever be written but. i was talking to my friend about it who still hasn't finished dts season 3 unfortunately but it means that i've switched around ages and years etc. i promise this has the potential to be a fun and sexy time but there's just s o much background shit that needs to be discussed. tw for mentions of irl deaths etc:

but pierre & charles meeting when they're 5-6 (which is what i think charles actually says irl but someone said it might've been closer to when they were 10-11? regardless.) and charles' dad passes away when they're 9-10, and jules when they're 13-14 and charles quits racing then. (fyi i know that irl jules passed away first)

he thinks about quitting when his dad passes away but keeps going with help from jules. so when the accident etc happens, it's not even like an active decision he ponders. he just knows there's no way he'll race again.

and pierre's been with him throughout everything, his best friend who he can talk to when he can't bear looking at his own family. so he doesn't understand when pierre tells him he's going to keep racing. when charles had told him he was never going to get into a kart ever again, pierre had nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it tight. important to note that they're barely teenagers rn so yes charles feels betrayed that pierre isn't feeling the same things he is and isn't choosing the same future for himself etc.

they have a huge fight, lots of crying, lots of dramatic teenage angst. but it ultimately ends with charles shutting pierre out of his life. which is easier said than done when it's your best friend whose family is super close with yours. but it works because pierre is off racing around the world and charles has done all he can to never have to think about that stuff.

so charles goes to school, is doing uni somewhere in europe. studies something generic like business or maybe if i'm feeling suuuuper indulgent i will have him major in environmental studies like moi <3 pointedly does not come to monaco during grand prix weekend or the week before or the week after.

and then anthoine passes away too. (they're 20-21 now)

they see each other again at the funeral but don't talk, they meet up afterwards. pierre breaking down in charles' arms, clutching at his back, telling him he was right. pierre should've quit, he can't do this anymore either. they haven't said a word to each other in 7 years but charles still knows pierre, and knows that this isn't actually what pierre wants. or what he should do. (charles vaguely knows pierre's in f1 but doesn't know he's with redbull, doesn't know redbull's the top team etc)

"you can still do this, you will," charles tells him.

"not without you again."

so then comes the challenge of mending their relationship while still working through the shared trauma, and the Layers of past trauma. and also just the general awkwardness that comes with a friendship breakup/makeup situation you know! they can't just act like nothing happened but would it be easier that way?

they start texting first, then they play fifa or cod together. (sometimes pierre's british friend lewis joins too.)

slowly slowly slowly, they become friends again and then inseparable too. maybe even closer than they were before and charles only now realizes how much he missed pierre. while pierre still can't believe he has charles back now, it's as good as he let himself imagine.

the part i'm unsure about is if i would want pierre's career trajectory to be the same or not. because i think the demotion adds SUCH a painful but interesting aspect to his ~storyline. but ultimately i think maybe he just doesn't get the second seat immediately. spends more years with toro rosso/alpha tauri before getting "called up" (sorry i have no idea what the proper terminology is haha ignore the nba/nhl terms).

he invites charles to his first race in the red bull and charles says no. immediately. pierre's quiet on the other side of the phone, internally thinking he messed this up somehow. he thought things were going well and he takes this as charles doesn't want to see him. but he knows there's a lot more that's stopping charles and he also knows charles will definitely pull back if pierre asks about the other stuff. so he moves right along, asking charles about school, the weather, and tries not to let it show in his voice that he misses his best friend and needs him too.

"i'm going to try to watch," charles says, after pierre's yawned goodnight through the phone and is waiting for him to hang up. because you know pierre's not going to hang up first.

"what?"

"the race. i'm going to try. goodnight!" mentally charles slams the phone shut but really he just smashes at the red button before shoving it under his bed and looking at his hands trying to get answers for what he just did.

his only relief is that he didn't promise pierre he would watch, just that he would try. couldn't even choke out a, "good luck." (insert long paragraph about charles letting pierre down or thinking he has).

he only watches qualifying. pierre p3. already knows on saturday that there's no way he can watch the actual race.

but on sunday when he's supposed to be going over his notes for his climate change science & policy course (yes.... i did it...) he finds himself with his heart in his mouth refreshing formula1 dot com. watches the random names move up and down while keeping his eyes on 10 - gasly. (starts shaking for a second when he sees pierre's name drop until the IN PIT sign comes up across his name. fellas the thing about triggers is-- anyways.)

the scariest part is that by the time he's scrolled through all of red bull's socials to look at pictures of pierre on the podium (he finished p2 sorry i know this truly does not matter), he's forgotten about the race. the anxiety sits small in the back of his throat, his happiness for pierre is bright and loud in front of him. charles sends him a message, asking him to call whenever he can and adds a blue & red heart emoji which feels like a Big Step. but basically pierre calls and acts like nothing has happened since the last time they talked. mentions the breakfast he had in detail as if he didn’t get a podium in his first race with red bull. finally with a big team. but charles embarrassingly realizes that maybe his text didn't exactly imply in literally any way whatsoever that he knows the results of the race and was trying to congratulate pierre with this call. charles probably feels so embarrassed at this point but somehow still can't manage to say anything about the race until the next day maybe.

maybe texts pierre, good job. or, you were great. or something about him and not the race. or maybe reposts a picture from red bull but not one of pierre in his car, pointedly. only one of him on the podium. and pierre probably reposts it with the squid emoji and/or my favourite sentence in the world, merci petit calamaro.

charles cries when he reads it.

not to be lazy now but [insert 10k words of them building their friendship. meeting up in monaco with both of their families. meeting in milan or london or paris idk where pierre would live. but he flies charles out. not on a private jet because charles flat out refused lol. not because he's an environmentally conscious king he's just too, embarrassed? overwhelmed? by pierre doing Things Like That for him. even though he wants it lol. like when he graduates he's soooo annoyed that pierre couldn't come celebrate immediately because it was race week. but when he comes home his apartment is filled with flowers (roses, his favourite) and balloons and a giant teddy bear as tall as charles. and he DOES post 12 instagram stories to go with the other 30 from his other friends congratulating him. so yeah charles goes through a lot of personal growth and therapy. to the point where he's watching pierre race again, and waiting for him to invite him to a race again!!! do not even think about actual dates i'm fucking begging you but the one he goes to is monza :))))]

ultimately charles' path to understand/accepting/moving on from, his trauma, happens once he has pierre back in his life. it's also encouraged by pierre, but it's also not entirely because of him. not sure how to word that but yeah. these things are happening at the same time but charles still has to go through them by himself.

pierre takes him on romantic dates all around the world and charles doesn't realize that's what they are. fully in his bestie vibes only mood while pining for pierre in a way he doesn't even quite understand. almost a self deprecating, jeez whoever gets to date pierre is going to be so lucky :/

fanpage on ig: met pierre's alleged bf he's so pretty and sweet, i complimented his shoes and he was so nice. charles reading that: i didnt know he was dating someone :( why wouldn't he tell me :( well at least someone complimented my shoes today :(

pierre doesn't necessarily think they're dating, but he does know charles doesn't quite realize what they're doing so he's just waiting for him to come to terms with it.

not to give this au 10 different subplots but yeah that miscommunication plot becomes our prize for surviving through the first part of this.

but yeah at the last race of the year, that pierre wins because i said so? charles finds him before he goes on to the podium, kisses his helmet. says i love you, i'm so proud of you.

THEN, finally, charles does become pierre's wag. we made it kids. we did it joe.

[horansqueen]

You & Me : chapter 36

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

Sequel to AM CONVERSATIONS

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34|| CHAPTER 35

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- notes: idk what to write here anyway no one reads it lol! but yea im posting this for Isa because she’s probably the only one who still cares about this story lmao ILYSM!

if you want to be on the list of blogs i notify when this is updated, just message me :)

requests! : some requests i didnt add because i didnt want to spoil this. theyll be added in the next chapter and probably at the END of the chapter lol

TAKE A LOOK AT THE CHARACTERS HERE

Chapter 36 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

April 7th, 2018

I fell asleep on the bed as soon as we got done with diner. I finally had a day off and an other one the next day but I had been working non-stop for 6 days until late at night (or early in the morning) and I was exhausted.  I shivered and woke up slowly, feelings my lips curl at Niall's touch. His fingertips were brushing up and down my arm, making goosebumps appeared on my skin, and I let out a low whimper.

"I missed you. How long have I been sleeping?" I asked in a mumble, forcing myself to open my eyes.

"You've been asleep for two hours." he pointed out before chuckling.

"I don't care." I let out with a childish voice. "I missed you anyway."

I squirmed a bit and ended up with my head on his lap. My lips curled into a smile when I felt his fingers slip in my hair and I breathed in, inhaling his scent and his expensive perfume.

I knew I was already fucked. I knew it was over for me and that if Niall and I broke up again at some point, it would kill me. At this point, being official or not didn't change anything anymore. I remembered back then, before I dated him, I always tried to suppress my feelings for him, I always managed to put a wall in front of them to hide them from everyone and especially myself. Right after One Direction's last tour, the walls collapsed and crashed, exposing my feelings to practically everyone, and at that time, it shocked me how much I loved him, how deep, real and intense my feelings were. They grew even more when we dated and remained stronger than ever for so long after he broke up with me. I was there with him now, my walls completely wrecked, and it made me realize that I had put my walls back in front of my feelings when I started dating Dylan but that wall was not that strong and Niall easily tore it apart without even knowing it. I was tired. I was exhausted to keep that wall there. Perhaps I had even helped him taking each brick off, one by one. Yeah, the more I thought about it, the more I was sure it was a team work.

"I was thinking we could go out tonight."

I groaned and wiggled a bit to press my face on his stomach, making him chuckle. "I'm tired."

"I know, but Louis says he misses you." he pointed out, making me groan again. "Come on, I'll buy you a few drinks."

I remained silent for a few seconds, wondering if I should go or not. I was pretty sure it would be fun but at the same time, spending time in bed, cuddling with the man I loved seemed even better. I moved a bit to lay on my back and look up at him. He was the only person in the world who looked good from this angle.

"Are you gonna stay with me the whole time?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Yes."

"You'll hold my hand under the table?" I added, staring at him and making him smile.

"I will."

"You're gonna dance with me whenever I ask you to?"

"Baby, we're not going in a club." he pointed out. It made my eyebrows raise up more and my lips part. "Fine, yes, I'll dance with you whenever you ask me."

My facial expression turned into a happy and satisfied one and I quickly got up, reaching for his closet.

"We have a deal, then!" I just said, trying to find something decent to wear before deciding on a pair of jeans and a band shirt (not a One Direction one, this time). It took me about 20 minutes to put make up on and when I joined Niall in the living room, I tilted my head as he got up.

"You look so good." I pointed out, moving closing and putting both my hands on his chest, my palms pressed on his blue dress shirt. "You're so classy and here i am, wearing jeans and a shirt."

He laughed a bit, moving his chin up slightly. "You want me to get changed?"

"No, I want you to get naked."

He laughed. "That's not happening. Louis is waiting and you know damn well he can show up just to annoy us." he explained with a smirk as I chuckled. "Tube?"

"Cab?" I argued, raising my nose up.

I didn't want our pictures taken, I didn't want to meet people, or get caught by paps. All I wanted was a nice evening with my friends and mostly, with Niall. He moved his arms around my waist, intertwining his fingers on my back and nodded slowly before sighing.

"Anything you want."

I smiled at him and moved closer to kiss his lips. He tasted good and I felt his hands move up on my back before smiling against his lips. If he changed his mind and asked me to stay home, I definitely wouldn't be against it. Unfortunately, we ended up at the bar quite quickly and after a while, I just stared at my glass, lost in my thoughts, before Louis leaned closer to me.

"'Dans la lune'?" I smiled and looked up, meeting his blue eyes. His lips curled too and he raised his eyebrows. "I've been practicing. How's my accent?"

"Almost as bad as Niall's." I just said, laughing when I saw him frown as his lips parted in shock.

"Hey, wait!" I heard, turning to Niall who was frowning too, clearly insulted. "I'm very good at that!"

"Honestly, no you're not." I admitted, raising my nose up and shrugging. "I'm sorry but you both suck at it."

"Well, you know what I'm good at?" Louis asked, getting up. "Paying beer for everyone."

He left and I turned to Niall, frowning a bit when he was looking away. I followed his eyes and my heart skipped a beat when I realized he was looking at a girl, sitting afar at a table. I took the time to look at her and bit my bottom lip before sighing. I couldn't be jealous, not now, and I couldn't pretend the girl was not beautiful. Still, it did hurt me and at the same time, it was ridiculous to expect him to never find an other girl pretty in his whole life.

"What are you looking at?" I asked low, getting his attention back.

His eyes roamed on my face and he blinked a few times. "Oh, no one."

"I didn't ask 'who', I asked 'what'..." I pointed out, licking my lips. "You were looking at that girl? She's pretty."

It was a lie. She was more than that, but it was too hard to admit.

"Yea, not bad." he replied, making me roll my eyes.

"Look, I know you think she's sexy, don't lie to me."

He sighed and reached for my hand under the table, making the left corner of my lips raise up. It was hard to be mad, or feel sad, when Niall was looking at me like that and I just tilted my head, staring right back at him. It didn't matter if he found other girls pretty, all that mattered was that he loved me, and that he wouldn't go back to his old habits.

"Okay, she's hot. But you're sexier." he bent closer to kiss me and I held my breath before he moved back slowly, remembering we weren't supposed to tell anyone that we were sort of seeing each other. He looked away, but not in the direction of the girl, and I just licked my lips as I watched him grab his beer and take a sip of it.

"Have you ever thought about having a threesome?"

He choked slightly and swallowed hard before wiping his mouth with the sleeve of his shirt. The sight was endearing and I chuckled.

"What?"

"I don't know, I was just saying." I proposed, shrugging a shoulder and making his eyes open slightly more.

"Would you be willing?"

I let my eyes move on his face and started questioning myself. I had no idea if I was and somehow, I felt like our relationship, whatever it was, was still very fragile at that point. Not our love, of course, that was strong, but the trust I had for him was still shaky and it scared me.

"I had a threesome before and it ruined the relationship I had with one of the girls. I think it's the main reason why me and her broke up."

He nodded and pressed his lips together. "Yea me too. Although I was pretty hammered I can definitely say it didn't help our couple, or whatever it was that we had." he paused and looked down before looking up in my eyes. "But we could make rules."

"Rules? Like what?"

He shrugged. "You tell me."

I stared at him again and I suddenly wished I never proposed that. I glanced at the girl on the other side of the room and felt something stir inside me. Yes, I was more confident about my body, but at the same time, I knew the bodies Niall was normally attracted to had nothing in common with mine.

"You.. can't kiss her. Or get your dick inside her." I pointed out, licking my lips nervously. "I don't want her to touch you, or-"

"Okay!" he laughed, shaking his head. "It'll be faster if you tell me what I'm allowed to do instead."

I groaned low and grimaced but I felt a bit better when he squeezed my hand again. I felt ridiculous for that feeling and I was wondering if it was my self-confidence that was getting low again, or simply the fact that it would hurt me to see the man I love making out naked with an other girl. I had seen Niall with other girls often in my life, and it has hurt me enough in the past, didn't it?

"We don't have to do it if you don't want to." he shrugged with a fond smile. "It's just a discussion for now. I mean, you know it's you I love, right?"

"Put yourself in my shoes, Niall." I tried to explain. "I mean we could have a threesome with a man."

"I'm not.. so sure." he replied with a frown.

"See?" I pointed out a bit louder, leaning against my chair and making him roll his eyes, amused.

"It's different, I'm not into men, but you're into women."

"But that's not what it's about." I explained a bit lower, tilting my head. "It's about us, and the feelings we have for each other. I've shared you so often before. I even lost you a few times. What if it happens again this time?" I sighed and shook my head. "I'll think about it."

"Hey, hey." he whispered, moving closer to me and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Don't stress over something so futile okay? I'd be totally fine watching you have sex with an other girl while I just sit close on a chair and jerk off f like a fuckin’ loser."

This time, I laughed and I just had time to see his lips curl into a smile before I tapped on the front of his cap, making it move down over his eyes. He placed it back and I noticed his eyes were shining. I tilted my head and my lips parted but just as I was about to say something, he kept talking.

"And yes, it would piss me off to see you get fucked by an other man." His gaze dropped to my shirt and moved up to my eyes again. "I'd probably throw him out."

I laughed again, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. He smelled so good, he look beautiful and he was so close... All I could think about was grab his shirt with both hands and pull him close to feel his lips crash against mine. With all the strength in me, I got up and nibbled on my bottom lip for a few seconds.

"I'll be right back."

Quickly, I walked to the lady's room and leaned both hands against the counter, letting my head fall down slightly and closing my eyes. It was so tough to stay away from him all the time and it was starting to drive me insane. Of course, I didn't want our relationship out in the open but if our friends knew, it would make things a lot easier. I was so sure it was the right thing to do a few weeks ago but now, my certainty was faltering. It was harder and harder as the days went by and even if it was just to protect me at first, I knew it was useless now. I loved Niall. I always would. And being official or not wouldn't stop me from hurting if he decided to leave again.

Without thinking, I grabbed my phone in my pocket, moved my shirt up and bougfht my phone up too, to snap a picture. I quickly sent it to him before unclasping my bra and moving it up, taking an other picture. I sent it too just as I was getting a message from him.

'Fuck petal show me more'

My lips curled at his words and It only took a few seconds to get a second one.

'I want to suck on your tits so bad pet'

I swallowed hard and felt my whole body throb as I typed an answer. 'Do it now, then.'

I leaned against the counter and waited but when the door opened, I felt my heart jump in my chest, hoping it was not someone else. I sighed when I saw it was him and his eyes roamed on me for a few seconds. He turned around and locked the door, making me chuckle and I held myself back on the counter with my two hands.

"I hope we don't get caught."

"I don't care." he replied, making me smile more.

He took a few steps closer and even If I should have expected it, I held my breath when he bent down quickly. His lips wrapped around one of my nipples and I felt my legs tense as a short whimper got out of my throat. I felt his tongue flick on it before he sucked on it gently and when he moved to my other one, I glanced down only to see how hard the first one was. I remained motionless, my eyes half-closed, as his mouth, lips and tongue focused on my tits and after a while, my lips parted, my eyes closed completely and I let my head fall back on my shoulders slightly.

He stopped and I felt his hands on my hips, helping me up on the counter and when he moved between my legs, I felt my heart jump in my chest. His lips found mine and his hands reached my breasts as he kissed me deeply. He had moved his cap around and I just reached it to take it off, leaving it on the wet counter and slipping my fingers in his hair.

"Why didn't you wear a skirt, lover, it would have been easier to fuck you."

The sweet nickname made me smile against his mouth. I loved how impatient he was and I could feel his hard cock press on one of my thighs. He rubbed himself gently against me and I moaned again in his mouth before pulling away and licking my lips. I pushed on his chest gently and got off the counter before taking a step back as I unbuttoned and unzipped my jeans quickly. He stared at me, his gaze moving from my hands to my face and back to my hands as I pushed my pants and panties down to my knees and raised my eyebrows.

"I can bend down for you."

He walked up to me, turned me around and pushed me against the wall. I held my breath as his hand moved between my thighs to reach my pussy and he groaned, grabbing my waist and pulling it closer to him before spanking me one time but hard. I pressed my palms on the wall and closed my eyes when I felt the tip of his cock press on my walls and let out a curse word when it slipped inside me. My fingers curled and my short nails scratched against the wall as he started fucking me hard and fast. His hands found my breasts again and he grabbed them hard as a balance to fuck me deeper.

I was happy both of us hadn't drank too much and when he leaned against my back, I felt his lips brushing near my shoulder as he grunted.

"No one turns me on like you." he let out, making me hold my breath again. "No one makes me cum like you."

He pulled me away from the wall and pushed down on my back, holding me there with a hand on one of my shoulders as he spanked me again a few times. I could feel myself throb around his cock as he remained still and when his other hand reached for my other shoulder. I bent down more, making sure I was far enough from the wall, knowing he was about to go harder.

"Fuck, you're gonna make me cum."

He started fucking me so hard I had to put my own hand over my mouth to make sure I wouldn't moan too loud and I felt myself reach an orgasm as he fucked me deep. I shook against him for a few seconds and he groaned, waiting until I relaxed a bit to pull out and jerk off quickly. It took only a few seconds before I heard him groan louder, the tip of his cock rubbing against my ass, and my eyes fluttered close when I felt him push himself back inside me, fucking me for half a minute before his thrusts faltered.

"Fuck. I'm so sorry." he apologized as I moved up. He wrapped his arms around me and I could feel his cock brush against my ass. "I came all over you. And then inside you."

The thought made me shiver and he ran his hands on my breasts before pulling on my shirt to cover them. He took a step back and I saw him tuck his dick back in his pants as I turned around. I moved my panties and pants up and then worked on my bra when we heard someone push on the door. I held my breath and my eyes got bigger but Niall just chuckled.

"Liv? It's El!"

Without hesitation, Niall unlocked the door and opened it, leaving Eleanor speechless. I had to admit it was worth it and I laughed a bit.

"Uhm when you two are... well, done, I guess? There's shots waiting for you..." she grimaced and shook her head. "Okay. Bye. Gross."

I laughed and walked up to Niall, getting on my tiptoe to kiss him. "Now she knows." I whispered.

"It's okay, I'm sure she won't tell." Niall tried to reassure me as I chuckled.

"Yea, like she'll keep that from Louis!"

We both laughed and shook our heads and I finally went back to grab his cap on the counter before we walked back to the table. It was useless to pretend we weren't together or anything. At that point, I knew we were fucked and that everyone probably knew about us.

"Finally!" Louis said when he saw us before pushing shots closer to us. He waited until everyone had one and he moved it up over his head to make a toast. "To Neil and Olivia, who literally can't keep their pants on when they're around each other!"

Everyone laughed and I kicked him under the table. It only resulted in him laughing and smirking at me but we all drank and I turned to Niall who was smiling fondly at me. Fuck it, why should I care if my friends knew?

                                                     ---

"I want to write a song about that." Niall said as we walked in his house.

I let my purse fall on the floor and walked slowly to the bathroom to take off my make up. "Write a song about what?"

He walked up to me and leaned against the door frame, just looking at me as I washed my face and it reminded me of that time I was too sick to do it myself and he had done it for me. It made something stir in my stomach and I sent him a fond smile in the mirror.

"A song about sex with you." he explained, pushing his hands in his pockets as I chuckled.

"Make it more general, maybe? And don't use my name!"

He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "Do you know me at all?"

I grabbed my phone to check the time and it's only when I saw the date that I frowned. Today was april 7th (now 8th), and I was sure I had something planned on the 6th. When I remembered, I felt my heart jump in my throat and held myself against the counter.

"Liv, hey, are you okay?"

Niall was close to me, I could feel the heath of his body against mine and his hand on my back and I swallowed hard before moving my body back up and turning to him, blinking a few times as he frowned. Could I really tell him that? Would I have the guts to say it out loud?

"Niall, I'm late."

He frowned for a second and then he understood. His lips parted and an expression appeared on his face. It looked like fear.

"It's... it's stress, right? You're on birth control?" he seemed panicked and I swallowed hard, feeling suddenly extremely guilty.

"Yea but those pills aren't a hundred percent safe." I pointed out, shaking my head before my traits softened. "No it's probably just stress, I've been working a lot and not sleeping much..."

He nodded and searched for his phone in his pocket before dialing a number quickly. I frowned and walked closer to him, wanting to ask him who he was calling but I didn't dare. He turned to me and showed me his forefinger, telling me to give him a minute and he left. I leaned against the counter again, head down between my shoulders, and felt myself tear up. I had been through so many things recently and I was exhausted. Adding a pregnancy to my life was not a good thing at the moment and I was also scared it would break something between Niall and I, and I was not ready to lose him.

He came back and wrapped his arms around me, leaning his chin on my shoulder. I looked at his reflection in the mirror and he sent me a loving smile that I sent back.

"I called the drug store. They're sending us a few tests. We'll be fixed tonight."

I felt relieved but also nervous and when the doorbell rang, we argued on who was going to answer. He won and I waited for him to come back, sitting on the couch and shaking my leg. He sat next to me and took a box out, handling it to me. I just stared at it for a few seconds until he pushed the side of his upper body gently against mine.

"Petal, it's okay. If you're pregnant, we'll adjust."

"It's gonna ruin what we have." I let out in a whisper.

In half a second, he was kneeling in front of me, searching for my eyes and when our gazes met, he raised his eyebrows.

"Nothing will ruin what we have anymore. Nothing. I won't let anything bring us apart. I want to be with you, Olivia. Okay, kids weren't planned before a few years but if you're pregnant, like I said, we'll make the best of it." he paused and sighed, noticing I was still nervous and he licked his lips. "Do you love me?"

"More than anything in the world. More than anyone I ever loved, or will ever love. You know it." I admitted, feeling my voice break slightly.

"I love you too. I'm in love with you." he stopped talking and handed me the box. "You can do this."

I was shaking when I got out of the bathroom and quickly put the stick in his hands. I was near tears, and I had been for about an hour, but I was not really sure why. His words should have made me feel better and they did, but somehow, I still felt extremely vulnerable and fragile and I was not sure why.

"Please, look at it for me, I can't do this."

I turned around, my back now facing him, and let a few tears fall before wiping them quickly. It felt like an other hour had passed and I finally turned around and sighed.

"So? Niall? Is it positive?"