#i didnt realize the last time id have a full house on christmas was when she was still in my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

returntoinocense · 6 years ago

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The way you make me feel

Penny Haywood x Slytherin fem!mc warnings: none word count: 3315 Part 1 Part 2 A/N: No beta we post our drafts like men, my mental health is taking a toll on me please don’t hate me D: I didn’t want to leave you hanging and it was getting a little too long for my taste so I’m posting the end in two parts.

Also big thanks to @dratin-dragonadetinta96 for putting up with my bullshit.

Finally the day to go back home for the holidays has come. The platform was crowded with students. You were really excited and nervous but mostly nervous. Penny’s parents agreed to let her go to your family’s Christmas party; your relationship with her was no secret to her parents and they were really happy for the both of you.

Penny was going to stay at the manor for at least three days, the rest she was going to spend it with her family.

You communicated your parents that you were bringing a friend with you for the party so you wouldn’t get bored like most years, and they accepted without much discussion. It was surprising to say the least, but it couldn’t make you happier that they agreed. It was the first time that you brought someone over that wasn’t Rowan, though something quite unpleasant settled at the pit of your stomach.

You were going over every possible scenario in your head while idly going over your luggage, when a hand on your shoulder distracted you; turning around you notice Rowan softly smiling at you.

“Hey… what’s got you so troubled, you look ghostly?” Rowan asked worry plastered on her face. You look at her giving a sad smile.

“I’m just a little stressed that’s all, nothing to worry about” you said dismissing your friend’s worry who just crossed her arms and looked at you incredulous. You sighed, your stiff shoulders dropping a little and finally, spoke your mind.

“I’ve been analyzing every possible scenario of how my parents could react once they realize what’s been happening and honestly, I don’t see a lot of good outcomes” you look at her a little defeated and continue “all I can hope for is that they won’t do anything drastic, I don’t care what happens to me I’m more worried about Penny”

Rowan hugged you tightly and without letting you go they said “Everything will work out just fine, you’ll see. Even though your parents are a little bit fanatics they still love you, I know that they’ll want you to be happy” she rubs soothing circles on your back. You relax on her embrace and hug her back before gently pulling back to look at her.

“Thank you Rowan, I can always count on you to make me feel better” you smile noticing Penny, Tonks, Tulip, Barnaby and Charlie walking towards you.

“You weren’t leaving without me were you?” Penny said nudging your side and kissing your cheek.

“Wouldn’t dream of it Pens” you said smiling and sliding your arm on her waist pulling her closer. Rowan and the rest smiled at both of you.

“Are you all going home for the holidays?” you asked curiously, surprised that you didn’t ask sooner.

“Tonks and I are staying; we’ve got some mischief to do” Tulip first answered pulling Tonks closer to her and winking. “We are probably going to get into a lot of trouble. But I can’t pass another opportunity to mess with Flitch” Tonks continued, giggling.

You shake your head at them smiling, wishing that you could see what they were preparing for that poor man, not that you liked him but you could only pity him, after all being the target of those pranks couldn’t be the best thing in the world.

“Well guess it’s going to be fun for you guys, you better write about it, I really need to know how it goes” Penny says giggling.

“Yeah don’t have too much fun without us” Charlie said suddenly looking at you with his eyes wide open “Oh! I almost forgot” he pulled a little package from his satchel an gave it to you “Mom wanted me to give you these, they are matching mittens, for both of you” he smiled “and she also said that you are always welcome at the burrow if you ever need a place to stay or if you just want to visit” the last part was directed at you, specifically, and you knew it, you smiled and hugged him, Penny joining in a second later.

“Thanks, I’ll make sure to write” you said enthusiastically “Are you joining us in the train? You asked hopeful.

“Oh…no” he said sadly “I’m going to be with my brother Percy and there are already three of you in that compartment”

“Oh that’s alright” Penny said a little sad “what about you Barnaby? Are you joining us?” he was looking around kind of lost but quite fixated on Rowan, noticing the attention turning to him he straighten up and looked at Penny.

“Yeah sure” he said smiling and scratching the back of his neck “I’d love to”

“Perfect, now that that’s settled why don’t we start getting on board, I’m getting a little anxious of just standing around” it came out a little ruder than you intended which got you a few strange looks. You shrugged “Sorry I’m a little on edge” at that Penny held your hand and smiled at you.

“It’s going to be fine, don’t worry” you nodded and squeezed her hand a little.

You said your goodbyes and boarded the train finding your compartment and just throwing your backpack in there sort of to claim it and flopped down on the seat. Barnaby, Rowan and Penny followed close behind. Penny tapped your legs from the seat and sat close to you a smile on her face.

“I can’t believe we are spending Christmas together as a couple” she said grabbing your arm and shaking it a little.

“Yeah I hope you like my house, we are also going to see Barnaby at the party right?” you look at him and Rowan “You know you can bring anyone you want with you as your date or friend I don’t know…” you said know full well that he fancied Rowan.

“So anyone I want huh?” he said side eying Rowan and blushing a little “It’s going to be fun, will you go with me Rowan?”

It amused you how much Rowan got flustered at the sudden invitation; you looked at Penny in complicity and grinned.

Rowan fixed her glasses and looked down blushing “I… uh y-yes” she composed herself and spoke surer of herself “Yes, I’d love to” she smiled at him and then made a face at you and Penny, you couldn’t help but giggle.

“Awn that’s so cute” you said snuggling with Penny “Finally, after so many years, it’s gonna be a fun Christmas” you said with a sad smile, wishing Jacob was there to share it with him, the discomfort coming back to you a little. But even though you still haven’t found him, you gained a lot of friends that feel as if they were your siblings specially Rowan, she was your best friend, and seeing her getting flustered and with that stupid grin on her face after Barnaby asked her out, made your current uneasiness all the more bearable it.

***

The rest of the trip you enjoyed some treats from the trolley and sat in comfortable silence watching how Barnaby fell asleep on Rowan’s shoulder. He shook awake as the train stopped at King’s Cross. Penny said her parents were going to wait for you at the station to pick up Beatrice and to greet both of you; after all they wanted to meet the person that Penny speaks so highly of.

Penny and you parted ways with Rowan and Barnaby shortly after getting your luggage.

To say you felt nervous was an understatement, you were sweating and your mouth was dry like the desert. Penny was pulling you by the hand evading the people on the platform to where her parents were. “Relax you big dork they are gonna love you” she said noticing your stiffness. “it’s not like you are gonna have dinner with them or something” she said with a smile and suddenly you remembered that she must be feeling them same nervousness as you are but multiplied since she’s gonna spend a few days in your house.

You stood still as Penny greeted her parents with a hug; you looked at her lovingly when she turned around and extended her hand to you.

“Mom, dad, this is Y/N Y/LN, my girlfriend” she said with the most beautiful and proud smile you’ve ever seen, kind of like the one she makes when nailing a potion but brighter. You took her hand and slowly but surely got closer and nodded.

“It’s nice to meet you, I hope you don’t mind me stealing your daughter this Christmas” immediately after saying that you felt awkward. Mr. Haywood crossed his arms glaring at you and making you feel small for a second before he embraces you in a tight hug, lifting you from the ground and laughing a little.

“Ha-ha! I like you kid, though it makes me sad that we won’t spend Christmas together. I’m glad that I can see her smiling like that again” he put you down carefully as Mrs. Haywood approached and hugged you briefly smiling. You sighed in relief and smiled back.

“I’m sorry I didn’t extend the invitation for the whole family” you look down “but I’m afraid my parents don’t know about the actual state of our relationship and well they can be a little…” you looked at them apologetically “intolerant…” The Haywood’s looked at each other and nodded, Mrs. Haywood leaned in.

“Well dear, you are always welcome at our home” she put a reassuring hand on your shoulder and grinned. “I know it’s early but here’s your Christmas gift and yours too hunny” she handed you and Penny one package each. “Don’t open until Christmas” Mr. Haywood leaned on your ear and whispered “Seriously don’t open it”. Beatrice soon joined the scene hugging her parents and then Penny. She looked at you and walked close looking at you with her head held high point her finger at you.

“This is the first time I’m spending Christmas without my sister, you better take care of her or else” she glared at you and walked back to her parents who giggled. Penny shook her head and grabbed your hand. You smiled at her as you felt something pull at your coat, looking down you notice your house elf, Solry with an inpatient look on his face.

“Master Y/LN, you are thirty minutes behind schedule” raising your eyebrows you looked at your watch and then at Penny’s parents apologetically.

“Oh Merlin, I’m so sorry, time just went by so quickly, I’m afraid we have to go my parents don’t appreciate delays” you shrunk yours and Penny’s luggage with reducio saving it in your backpack. “it’s been a pleasure meeting you, expect mail from us, we have a long way to Gales” you waved them goodbye and waited for Penny to say her goodbyes then pulled her by the hand following the house elf to wherever place your father decided to put the portkey. You look at Penny a little worried.

“Have you ever travelled by portkey?”

“Uh… not really, why?”

“Well you could experience nausea and dizziness. Oh and we have to grab it at the same time, just a heads up” you smiled as you arrived at the location and the elf pointed at a serpent statue, of course, you thought. You looked at Penny and signaled her to touch it without letting go of her hand.

A few moments later you arrived at a field near a cliff falling onto your back, Penny almost falling on top of you. Slowly you got up and cleared the dust from your clothes extending a hand to Penny who takes it a little disoriented.

“Are you okay?” you ask noticing her sudden pale face.

“Ugh…I think I left my stomach in London” she said clinging to your hand and placing her free hand on her mouth. A second later she let go of your hand to support he weight on her knees. You looked at her with a little pity.

“Yeah, sorry about that, it takes some time to get used to, I use it all the time and I still can’t get the landing right” you scratched the back of your head nervously then rubbed soothing circles on her back.

“I’m alright, I’m alright” she said as she looked up at you “Where are we?”

“Oh, we are on Y/LN manor grounds” you pointed to the big manor down the hill “it’s a small island, my father used a concealment charm to avoid muggles running into our house, or so he says, so we don’t have neighbors but I do like to sneak out to the small fishing village up north” you said with a fond smile.

“Oh alright… I … uh suddenly don’t feel like this was such a good idea” she said with a hint of fear on her voice.

“Well, we are already here and whatever happens, happens I guess…” you locked eyes with her “just know that I don’t regret being with you. With you I feel like I can overcome anything, no matter what it is and that I will always support you” Penny hugged you tightly.

“Thank you, Y/N, we can do this” you hugged her back and she kissed your lips “we should get going, we are already late aren’t we?” you kissed back and looked at Solry tapping his foot on the ground waiting for you to get going.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, it’s not the first time I’m late” you told him “if I could appear there at will I would of done that” the elf glares at you and banishes, you giggle and start walking towards the mansion with Penny close behind.

The manor looked centuries old, it rose from the ground as a proud example of the people that lived there, stoic yet vehement with a superiority air to it. Two Hungarian horntail dragon statues sat at each side of the main gate that opened for you as you got close to it. Penny looked at you as if questioning the choice for that particular decoration. You felt her gaze on you and shrugged looking straight ahead where both your parents stood, waiting at the door.

“Father is Hungarian” she looked at you suspiciously but said nothing as she noticed how tense you were.

“Y/N, Miss Haywood, I presume?” your father’s thick Hungarian accent greeted you both as he extended his hand to Penny, which she shook nervously.

“You can call me Penny… if you’d like” she said with a shy smile. Your father only nodded and gestured inside as he took a step back.

“You must be freezing and tired” your mother started “please, come inside there’s tea and biscuits” she said eagerly as she took Penny gently by the shoulder to guide her inside. “We can discuss sleeping arrangements and...” she looked at Penny who was wearing mainly muggle clothes “appropriate attire over tea” she looked down at her clothes, then at you mouthing what’s wrong with it? You just shook your head and shrugged.

***

“When you said you lived in a manor I didn’t think it was going to be…” Penny said gesturing vaguely at the room she was going to stay in, while she unpacked her belongings “…this. Your dad is scary. Your mom seems nice though”

“Even after judging you by how you were dressed? Even after the face she made when you told her you are half-blood?” you crossed your arms.

“Well, awkward conversation aside, I have a good feeling about her” she smiled, left all her stuff on the bed and crossed the distance to kiss your cheek “Will you be a dear and help me?” you blushed and nodded.

“We can do a little tour before dinner if you’d like” you held both of Penny’s hands and leaned in a little waiting for Penny to kiss you. But you were interrupted by the door flinging open. You instantly put a respectful distance between you and Penny, as your mother stood by the door frame with a surprised look on her face. Clearing her throat she began.

“If you girls are ready we are going to have dinner earlier so we can begin preparations early in the morning” she looked at both of you with suspicion. You looked at each other and nodded. “And Penny dear, I brought you some appropriate clothing; I believe they are you size” you grabbed the clothes with annoyance and Penny gently took them from you before you could say anything.

“Thank you Mrs. Y/LN, we’ll be right there” she smiled at your mother as she closed the door.

“Ugh, she has no right to tell you how to dress” you said throwing your hands in the air in frustration “you look just fine like that” you looked at her apologetically.

“It’s okay I can handle it, it’s just clothes” she said with a sad smile.

“You shouldn’t have to” you sighed and hugged her tightly and she hugged you back.

“Let’s not keep them waiting”

***

The next morning, you went straight to Penny’s room, getting in without knocking, in hopes to wake her up for breakfast, little did you know she was just out of the shower with only a towel covering her.

“Oh…” she said wide eyed as she threw a pillow at your face “Are you an animal!?” she yelled blushing and pulling the blanket from her bed towards herself “why don’t you knock?” you covered your eyes and turn around.

“Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean to… I wanted to surprise you” your face turned beet read and you couldn’t move.

“You damn well did, close the door at least you big dork!” she sighed as you closed the door “I’m changing in the bathroom” you heard the door to the bathroom close a little too violently and sighed cursing yourself for being so careless. Turning around you picked up the pillow, walked towards the bed, setting the pillow at the head and sitting waiting for Penny to come out.

“Pens…” you started, fidgeting with your fingers “I didn’t mean to startle you”

“I know” came her voice through the door “I’m just a little on edge, I had a nightmare” her voice didn’t sound convinced.

“You wanna talk about it?” something told you she wasn’t entirely honest, your mother’s words probably affected her more than she let on.

“Not at the moment, I just want to move on and have some breakfast, I’m starving” at that the door opened and she was dressed with her normal clothes and hair still a little damp. You smiled at her, getting up from the bed and kissing her lips.

“Breakfast is served, mother is nowhere to be seen and father left early in the morning”

“Well that’s a relief, we can breathe a little, but… we need to tell them at some point you know?” she looked down and held your hand.

“Yes, I know” you sighed “let’s just… let’s eat first and get ready for the day, mother said someone was coming over later today”

As you got downstairs, you heard the double doors open, Solry was greeting two hooded figures that soon became clear who they were, Merula and someone you assumed was her caretaker. What is she doing here? You thought, but you knew better than to make a scene.

“You are early…” you told her. Penny stopped next to you, letting go of your hand and keeping her hands to herself, at which she smiled wickedly.

“Ah, looks like I just made it for breakfast” she said with a sarcastic tone “Your mother was very nice to arrange my trip here, we get along pretty well” she winked and you crossed your arms.

“Yeah… it looks like it” you sighed and guided her towards the dining room.

#penny haywood x mc #hphm #penny haywood x reader #hogwarts mystery #wlw #100% best friend rowan #barnaby x rowan

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aestheticvoyage2019 · 5 years ago

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Day 359: Wednesday December 25, 2019 - “Rockin Around Under The Christmas Tree”

Ah the days where Christmas morning involved warmth of home, and unwrapping of presents! Been a long long time since Ive known a Christmas that looked like that. And true to form, today’s Christmas morning was hustle and go - a rock-n-roll out of the HNL Hilton, a very special awesome breakfast sandwich for me on the other side of security, and a short flight up and over to Maui where my job was to wait for 230 to roll around when my wife got out of work and could join me here on the Valley Isle. I can do that! I scoped it out and noticed a beach within walking distance of the OGG - but it never really even occurred to me that maybe Id just string my hammock and pass the time easy! Not until I walked up and saw trees - Of course! I love those Hawaiian beaches. As I strolled down the service roads, bags in tow, a van pulled up and very rudely said “sir, where are you going?” as if I were lost. I pointed down the road, in the light rain, and said “to the beach” - his face expressed the surprise of my answer and I realize, again, I dont look at the world the same way other people do. 15 minutes later, I was strung up on a tree, in my bathing suit wondering where the whole Green and Bright thing was! 1030a on Christmas Morning and it was already a pretty full and eventful day.

I easily killed those 3+ hours reading my book, doing some mindfulness, taking a bath in the salty waves, and even listening to christmas carols. I held off napping, knowing that AC wouldnt get that luxury - though it sure was comfortable and relaxing rocking around on that Christmas tree. I remembered last years christmas tree was of the Joshua variety. I reflected on those christmas beaches in the PNW. I wondered about which far off corner we’d ramble on a year from now. I packed up my nook, and walked back to OGG and picked up my rental car... merry christmas to everyone, indeed. Then raced down to the crew hotel, surprise of Christmas Poke and Energy drinks and wine as if I were one of the three kings, chasing my star.

With 90 minutes of daylight left, there was only one thing for sure to do - race up the side of the volcano and see if we could catch some kind of sunset in this grey rainy Hawaiian christmas...and in so doing, notch another National Park off the list of oddballs left undone on parts-far-off. Haleakala National Park (translated to House of The Sun) was actually fairly clear, most the way to the top. We followed the bended switch backed roads up into the sky, the signs clipping off the 1000 foot markers at a steady rate. We reached the 10,000 foot marker right at sunset but was too socked in there to notice. Also, being that the Hawaiian islands were all facing some fierce Christmas storms, the hurricane force cold wind made it for a quick summit experience. One snap of a selfie and we were done. Green and Bright they said! I didnt dress for this! We’ll have to come back for the famed sunrise or some excellent star gazing. The up and back felt clinical, the checking of the box, though the occasion of Christmas would no doubt make it count. I was unburdened - Id already made my mind up we’d be back, soon. We wandered back down more slowly, enjoying the colors in the sky, far up above the coast, and the West Maui Mountains on the other horizon. We sipped pineapple wine, as we made our back to the crew hotel. We round out the Christmas day with AC’s crew mates, enjoying the nice dinner buffet they set out for us of turkey and mac and cake. We then enjoyed the hot tub in the rain, waves crashing just behind us - it sure was a great view, we’d find in the morning.

It was a busy day of Go for Christmas, and I guess thats the best gift of all - the opportunity to do it. In the morning we’d pack AC up and send her along on her way, back East to Oakland. After a stroll on Big Beach, I found a place to post up and watch her take off. As I sat out on that hill and waited, my mind turned to thinking of the many gifts I have this Christmas. Certainly that chance to kiss lady luck and be in such a remote mystical locale was tops on the list. I was thinking of her, as the best blessing I have, as her jet rocketed up into the clouds with her strapped to a fold down seat int he back of it. I blew her a kiss from the ground and thanked her for bringing me here; for living a great story with me.

Song: Josh Ritter - The Gospel of Mary

Quote: “I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!” ― Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

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anastycrimeboy · 8 years ago

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Honestly, not much of someone who post anything but I feel like I wanted to talk aloud to the world anoynomously and on a format noone would likely look at so eh. Anyways I met you in 7th grade for the first time. Me? I was quite frankly just an antisocial prick. We talked truly for the first time I believe in social studies where you refered to me as "turtle boy" because of the way I sat (think somewhat like L from death note) we had a group assignment, something minor. I remember reading some question outloud I think, misspoke something aloud and had said "Saint Texas" I have no idea why it was so funny at the time but I remember it being one of the inciting incidences of our friendship. At first, I acted quite cold and annoyed towards you and your friend. You two, however, were quite subborn on making me your friend. Something I am quite honestly very greatful for, as i have no doubt my life would be very different had you two not done so. So we became friends. True friends. The closest and best two friends ive ever had the experiance of having. I dont remember much more of consequence happening in our relationships development during 7th grade. Eventually 8th grade rolled around and what a year that was, for both of us, and our mutual friend as well. You and your friend had a tough, depressing year. By December, so had I become immersed within the pit of depression. However when thinking back, I see that maybe that wasnt such a horrible thing. Our mutal suffering had brought us closer together in some ways. We shared thoughts, emotions, memories, things that brought us closer together. At some point through this, I had begun to have feelings for you. I remember vividly how happy I was when we would stay up until 3 A.M talking nonstop about anything. How happy it made me to simply sit there for hours and talk to you and see your beautiful face and hear your wonderful voice, laughter... I knew how I felt about you. I didnt tell you how I felt for a while. Eventually you had gotten with a guy, actually a friend of mine at the time. Man was I jealous of him... He got your first kiss, was I believe your first boyfriend to my knowlege. He got to hold you, cuddle with you, kiss you, be with you in a way I felt I probably never would. Ha, hell how right I was. You were with him for some time. Through this we continued our close relationship, talked for hours, just enjoyed eachothers presence, at least I know I did. I know at some point while you were with him, believe it was around Christmas, I had told you that I liked you. Not in the manner of just being friends but in a romantic manner. Pretty stupid looking bad, who tells someone they like them when they have a boyfriend? It didnt change anything really, you had expressed that that would not happen then at least. You let me off easy when I had told you then, said perhaps someday. I truly took that to heart. Looking bad, I probably shouldnt have haha. Things were awkward for a week or so but things got back to normal between us soon enough, no damage done. I remember being very very envious of your boyfriend, man jealously is such a powerful emotion. Somewhere around Feburary I remember you and him had broken up for good. As bad as it sounds I remember being trilled that had happend, in spite of your obvious greif and pain at the failure of a long term relationship. To be fair, I was young. I didnt truly understand what love was then. More than likely, then what I had felt for you was nothing more than simple infatuation. Although at the same time it was more than that, i cared for you deeply, and honestly, as we both recognize now the guy was a total asshole. So i like to justify that thats part of what I was so thrilled about but I couldnt say for certain. At this point, both our states of mental health were pretty piss poor. Both of us very depressed people, something that had only gotten worse for us both over the year. You became... this bright sun in my everyday life. The one person who would always bring a smile to my face everytime I simply laid eyes upon you. Without you, I felt hallow, and with you I felt like the sun was shinning on my skin on a spring day. I knew full well you didnt feel the same way about me. Deep down I knew you never would truly feel the same way. However I held some feable hope thst maybe, just maybe one day you'd love me like I grew to love you. Sometime around april, or may you and your friend were just about healed from this depression we had suffered, and I had stagnated. Looking bad, im sure that was mostly due to one crucial fact: you two were bound to go to one high school, and me, another. I knew I was losing two people who.... quite frankly were closer to me than my family ever was, even including my beloved deceased father. I remember on the last day of school crying a bloody waterfall. I never conciously thought this at the time, but im sure in my heart I knew: this would cement that our relationship would only go downhill in terms of our closeness, there was no alternative. You see i neglected to mention, we had experianced a bit of a falling out a month and a half before graduation relating to my depression and extreme drug use. You guys eventually so fed up with it you stopped talking to me altogether. This had forced me to stop abusing oxycotten, and in doing so, you accepted me once more as your friend a week or two before school ended. Our other friend however, from this point forward, was no longer a friend of mine. And my fallout with her was permanent. This left me with you as literally my only true close friend. And man the thought of losing you too then was just... Unfathomable. During the summer I recall talking to you somewhat frequently for a month or so. Then, there was a point when I had for some stupid reason, talked about my issues with your sister. God knows why, i sure dont know what the hell i was thinking haha. This led to you being quite rightly pissed, essentially telling me that you were done talking to me until I got my head straight and out of my shithole of a depression. Quite frankly looking back, man was you not talking to me a great motivator. First it got me to stop doing hard drugs, then got me to actually really start to work on changing my mental outlook on life. By the end of the summer we were talking again, friends once more. Perhaps not as close as I wished but thats not suprising. Id be lieing I said I was totally better. That wouldnt happen until February of next year. But I was definetly in a better state than the end of 8th grade. School started, and man did I hate it. I never realized that truthfully, the only reason I could stand school so much was because of how happy seeing you made me. At this time in my life, I had no real self-confidence. I was a smart kid, my techers knew this, my mom knew it, but damn my grades sure as hell didnt reflect it. I hated school so much without you, i skipped probably more than 30 days and walked home in the first semester. We talked, texted. But man did I miss you... I only saw you once that year, during thanksgiving break. That was by far the most fun I have ever had before. We didnt do anything crazy. We just went out, had got orange leaf, went to barns and nobles and got coffee, you dragged into bath and bodyworks.. Haha man I think that was, what? The second? Third time just you and me hung out by ourselves in peron? I remember never wanting that day to end. I remember thinking 'what if everyday could be like this?' My love for you only grew as time went on it seemed. Distance has never dulled my love for you in the slightest. Time went on. By Feburary my mom was getting desperate reguarding my depression and alarming rate of skipping school, so she took me out and placed me in a charter school, self paced, self taught. A place I could avoid everyone and just learn. Did wonders for my confidence and my mental health. Since then ive been just fine, had a great outlook on life. Great work ethic. You were always there, cheering me on as I got better and worked harder. Haha I remember we flirted a little toward the end of that you. You teased me quite often texting me on my phone you little minx hahaha. Ah, yeah that had sent me some mixed singals alright. Our relationship was still quite solid. We were close, had grown up quite a bit for the year before... things seemed good. Summer once again rolled around, we hung out on my birthday. That alone made it my favorite birthday I've had to date. We had gone to the movies, and just went back to my house, smoked a bowl or two, and relaxed and watch some Star Wars. Enjoyed our time together. I remember multiple times wanting nothing more than to get closer to you and just hold you in my arms... Eventually you left. Once again, I couldnt help but feel that strange hallowness I experiance without you. Wishing I was brave enough to try to hold you, kiss you. Summer went by. We kept somewhat in touch. The next year, 10th grade, is when I would say we truly started to experiance an increase in the gap between us. We talked yes, occassionally discussing what was going on in eachother lives. By this point, and this point onward I dont think we ever shared another long conversaion. Never since then have we had one of those wonderful nights we would just stay up and just talk and enjoy the others presence... Nope. Those times seemed to have passed. I tried on occasion to start one of those kinds conversations, but something would always come up, or one of your sisters would interupt is and eventually i'd just let you go as we were no longer talking, ect. I think i may have seen you once that year. I dont truly remember it if we did. That year went by quickly. We kept in touch of course. We would always talk about how much we missed eachother ha... I just worked hard that year. Nothing else to do really. I've always been a bit of a loner socially and dont bother making friends. Did quite well, ended up both my softmore and junior year, and became a senior. You were quite proud of me I remember. Once again, I got to see you on my birthday and, well, it was then I think I really noticed the deaph of how much we had spaced apart. We just kinda watched a movie for a few hours and you left after a while. I remember being nervous the whole time. We hadnt seen eachother in so long I wasnt sure how to act. I still loved you, just as much as ever, but for fucks sake I didn't for the life of me know what to say, what to do, how to act. I didn't really know what to do around you anymore. By then... We seldomly saw eachother over the course two years, hardly spoke the year before. We didnt have recent experiances, or interesting things to talk about. Well I mean at least I didn't. As a bit of a loner all I had to discuss was my acedemic acheivement and video games or music. Im sure you had stuff going on in your life but by then... Im pretty sure we had seperated to a degree where you didn't even know where to begin discussing what was going on with you, nor did I know the questions to ask. So yeah that was awkward. And I remember kicking myself again and again over it. Same thing happened in augest when I went to your house before school started.... Sigh I remember thoughout these years you've had a few boyfriends, by the middle of freshman year I had a much better grasp on the true meaning of love: that when you love someone, you put their needs, their wants, and their happiness before yours. So I was okay with it. I let go of jealousy. What replaced it was this heart wrenching, smoach dropping sadness when you were with someone else. But again, I knew that you'd never truly loved me in the romantic sense, just as friends really. I knew this spite of the fact you had told me otherwise multiple times. I know you were just reassuring me to spare my feelings. And in a way, i thank you for that. Hell at times, I even let myself believe it. But I was somewhat hopeful, some peice of me remained stubborn that one day you just might like me even slightly in a romantic manner. Hell im graduating now, and I still have not dated, kissed, loved, or truly considered being with another girl. Ive always hoped you would be my first everything. My first kiss, first girlfriend, first date. Hell one day I hoped youd be my first and only wife... we'd have a beautiful little girl... Sigh. Just dreams I suppose. Then this year cam along. Things only got worse. We've hardly talked. I mean sure ill text you general well wishes most mornings when I can and have said more "I love yous" than one could probably count but really? Thats about it. Weve met up twice this year for lunch but i feel like the damage has been done already. Yes yes we have seen eachother but you know I find it hasnt actually alleaviated my missing you. Its like... Idk I see you but at the same time I didnt. Both times we just talked about old friends, school, advancements in life. Nothing really significant or personal... Only had two, somewhat awkward, hugs with you this year. When, bloody hell, ive always wanted so much more than that. Now... The year is ending and really I recognize that we are honestly little more than acquaintances. I mean yes we know eachothers history, but bloody hell we hardly talk anymore about anything. We have no idea what the eachothers life is like... Well okay you know what mine is like due to how honestly shallow it is but I hardly know how yours is going. And quite frankly i dont know the questions to ask or the things to say to find out.... I just wish we were as close as we once were... Gods how id give almost anything just to be close friends again, romanctic thoughts aside. Now I see that our drift is just... This gaping raveen the size of the great cayon. And I know its only bound to get worse and eventually end altogether... With me going to college and you your own way with withever you decide to do, likely traveling with your beautiful, adventurous soul. I hope our paths interwine once more in the future... Odds are they wont but I mean you never know what God holds in store for us yeah? Ill always regret not getting the chance to experiance something more with you. Never really trying my hand at something more truly. I was a coward. Quite honestly in some ways though, im glad. You really deserve someone much better than I am. Someone who can make you happy, laugh, and feel joy every minute your with them like you have made me feel. Comfort you when you need help, be there for you when your in pain. These are things I've tried hard to do for you, but could never do perfectly. I really hope you meet a man who can do those things for you. You deserve it more than anyone else. Looking back, I can see that I was lucky that I even ever got to call you a friend. And I was smiled upon by god by the fact that you love(ed) me as a friend. That alone was really more than I had the right to ask for really. Thank you, for everything you have done for me. And helping me become who I am today. I only wish I could have helped you half as much as you have me... I love you, forever and always. And may god bless your life and the path you walk on my love.

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arplis · 5 years ago

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Arplis - News: Arlyns Warm (& Sort of Last-Minute DIYed) Holiday Reveal

Spoiler alert: This starts sad, but I promise a happy endingjust like your favorite Hallmark movie. Yes, its a post about decorating for Christmas, but its a bit of a journey (and your prize for sticking around is seven tips for a pretty holiday look without a ton of planningnext to a cash reward, what more could you want, hm?).

Before moving to LA, I had a long-standing Christmas tradition that involved a sleepover at my place with my twin nephews. Wed go buy a fresh tree, head to Target to pick out their yearly ornaments (and okay, I usually caved and bought them several when they couldnt pickauntie privilege), and settle in for the night with a big ol cheese pizza and tons of candy to decorate and watch holiday movies. When I left Florida, my absolute favorite weekend of the year stayed behind along with my family, and frankly, I didnt feel festive enough last year to decorate. Sure, I bought a tree and then proceeded to cry my way through placing all the memories from years past on it (like I said, no this whole post wont be one giant Joni Mitchell River-esque depressing monologue). But, its been almost two years, and I realized that it was time to start making some new traditions, starting with proper decorations to set the scene for the season.

By proper, I mean nothing more than something that actually brought me joy. In my last home, I didnt care even the tiniest bit about my Christmas aesthetic. Id throw around scraggly bows, dangle strange garlands in places that would inevitably fall off (left unfixed until January). While I appreciate a classic, kitschy look, this didnt make me happy. Looking back, it was a lot like the holiday aisle at Big Lots come December 26sparse, random and nowhere I wanted to be. BUT THIS YEAR IS DIFFERENT. Guys, I really actually tried, and whoa, I love coming home. I get so jazzed to know Ill walk through that door after work to all the fairy lights on (thanks, timers) and all I need to do is light my pine-scented candles.

When I first discussed decorating and shooting my place for the blog, I told Emily I would take the more last-minute DIY angle for this story, except, ha, I should know myself better than to think Im a DIY person (have I talked about the unfinished dining chairs sitting in a corner of my master bedroom enough times for you to understand the stakes here?). Im more of an early minute buying personif we can all agree thats the opposite of last-minute DIY, but dont worry Emily, I pulled out a few stops even for me to salvage this story. Really, though, its an excuse to show you guys my living and dining rooms again, this time just festooned for Christmas using nearly everything Target, because those guys have affordable holiday decor on lock.

Aside from what I bought, there were a few things I planned on doing going into this: dried oranges for garland and ornaments, and the addition of real greenery to anything faux for a lusher more natural look, but more on that in just a bit when we get there. Lets start in the living room:

Creating a Christmas Couch With Simple Textile Swaps

Swapping out textiles seasonally always felt to me like the equivalent of womens magazines telling me when I was younger that Id be going from day to night far more often than I ever have (never). Who was really doing this? Sure, my mom would throw a random Christmas pillow on the sofa when I was younger, but a full swap was absolutely something Id NEVER consider doing. Except well, for the sake of this shoot, I did it, and guess what. IM OBSESSED WITH IT. Dont knock it til you try it.

I left one of my everyday pillows out because it played well with everything else, but Im half tempted to never actually switch them back. Im officially living the cozy life and DONT MAKE ME GO BACK. But seriously, seeing that Fa la la pillow and those little gold embroidered Christmas trees fill my heart with childlike wonder and joy and Im now a winter textiles swap person (once I figure out a more permanent solution than throwing my year-round pillows and blanket in the guest bedroom).

Neutral Tree + Homemade Goodies

The (Christmas-celebrating) world is divided into two subsects: those who take no issue with faux trees, and those that choose to torture themselves with a real evergreen. I am the latter. Every year, when it comes time to recycle this baby, I curse myself for the massacre of needles. But alas, I cant be stopped and I will always opt for a real tree. This is a noble fir that I picked up at Lowes and it has that gappy vibe everyone is into right now. I like how you can load up a branch front to back and things dangle so nicely, sparkling and dazzling in the twinkle lights.

As for the decor, this is actually the first year in a long time I went with white lights. Ive always been a colored-lights just throw crazy stuff up on the tree and call it a day girl (correction: let your small nephews throw crazy stuff up on the tree and call it a day). Someone once asked me if I changed my trees color motif every year and Im pretty sure I rudely laughed in their face before I realized they were serious. No. I am not that person. This is why this year, once I realized that oh wait, people will be seeing my home and I needed to try, I opted to go for something a little more neutral so I could build on it over time. I also had a box full of handmade and drawn ornaments from my nephews that I needed to be sure made it up on those branches (see the paper and crayon snowman, for example). Theres enough going on in my apartment that something a little more minimal didnt make me want to crawl out of my skin a week into the merriment.

Because I wanted some color, I thought to do what evidently everyone else on the internet also thought to do this year: dried oranges as ornaments. I definitely did not get the mailer that must have gone around to tell everyone this was the look of 2019, but regardless, I love it. Some string (in a white and red becauseChristmas), a bag of small oranges and a few hours to dry them out in the oven (Erin from Francois et Moi has a great tutorial here) and boom, I supplemented my tree for about$4. LAST-MINUTE DECORATING LIFE HACK. Put dried oranges on just about everything and you have an instant holiday lewk that feels warm, unpretentious, welcoming and a wee-bit British (i.e. all I ever want to feel).

Some of my favorite ornaments I scooped up this year with my nephews top of mind: the sloth, the fabric Santa, the clip-on glittery birds, and the ceramic turtle doves (I promptly forced my husband Charles to sit and listen to why I got those to represent our undying love). Oh goodness, and I cant move on before discussing that Cookies For Santa plate and milk jug. No, there are no children in my house, but when I saw it, I knew I needed to hoard it for the day that there are because every year my sister runs around trying to find something to put cookies and milk in and it always ends up being an awkward mini loaf pan or something and this feels like a pat yourself on the back for planning ahead moment that I wanted to put on display.

Mix Real + Faux

HOT TIP: Faux garland is so great for using year after year and traditionally, I used to think it looked very fake, but Target has some good stuff. I went with their faux white pine and berries strand here and over the archway and Im so happy with them. This one is 72, so, maybe dont be like me and instead measure before you figure out how much of something you need. I ended up with about 8 inches of bare mantel and had to guinea rig a solution. The left side there, by the candlesticks, is actually a piece of faux greenery also from Target in the same color/finish that I added to the end and BOOM, fixed.

Once I put the eucalyptus wreath on the door, however, I realized it was much cooler in tone than the garland and side by side, they looked a little jarring. My solution? Get some actual eucalyptus (I had some leftover from my Thanksgiving tablescape) and shove in pieces of it about every 6 inches or so. This accomplished two things for me: it married the color/style gap between the wreath and the garland, but it also brought some life to the faux-ness. (Again, this stuff is good, so it doesnt NEED it, it was just a visual preference for me).

Can we talk about the cutest stocking? Growing up in Florida, a land devoid of mantels and fireplaces for obvious reasons, we were not a stocking family. Every now and then, my mom might tie some to the stair banister, but they were never full of anything. Well folks, thats over. I live in LA now, a land with NON-FUNCTIONING fireplaces, but fireplaces nonetheless. LA is all about illusions after all, so as long as it looks like a fireplace, thats all that matters, right? Throw some fairy lights in, no problem (and maybe light some candlesI used these candlesticks from Targetif youre brave and attentive for that real fire feel). This knit guy with the poms is maybe my favorite thing I got this year but HEAVY (hence the nutcracker on top of the stocking holder for that oneI have a little cut-out in the molding that meant less stability, but itll probably be fine if you have a normal 90-degree angle on your mantel).

And, in one of my favorite last-minute moves to use up random leftovers of things, I took some ribbon I had bought for my gift wrap, tied a little piece into a bow and velcroed it to this art piece. Dressing up your artwork can be SO fun for holidays (remember Emilys googly eyes over that oil portrait?). Its so unexpected, costs basically nothing and will get everyones attention, I promise.

Sprinkle Christmas Cheer Throughout Other Vignettes

This whole post should be titled Never Underestimate the Holiday Styling Power of the Bottle Brush Tree because if you look closely enough, there is absolutely one in nearly every shot angle of my home. I threw some on my console table, on a side table, on my coffee table, on my TV standand just WAIT until you get to the dining room. Bottle brush tree galore! They are very affordable and if you dont mind glitter sprouting from nearly everywhere until the end of time, theyre almost all you need to fill in your home with some Christmas spirit outside of the big moments (tree, fireplace). Same goes for leftover ornaments, pieces of greenery (such as free scraps from the tree lot), and super budget-friendly figurines, like these reindeer that make me so happy.

That blonde wood bowl is VERY good guys, and I will absolutely be leaving it out year-round, but for now, it screamed FILL ME WITH JINGLE BELLS so I had to oblige. These are 2-inch bells and honestly just so dang fun. Put them in a vase or bowl but save a few to sprinkle throughout other vignettes (or on a gift!).

The last moment I threw together in this room was the bench by my window. I moved the rust-colored velvet cushion into the guest bedroom (which honestly, I treat like a storage unit, so I know this is not a universal solution) and draped my sheepskin pelt a little asymmetrically. I gotta say, Im quite proud that this placement was my first go at it. The less fussing you do sometimes, the more effortless things look. I over-ordered pillows for my sofa, but thank goodness, because they worked great on here. The green pillow with the poms is SO cute and you might not see it here, but it has these little wood beads at the base of the pom pom which makes it extra special.

Alright, lets move this party into the dining roomafter you.

Accentuate Your Architecture

Ever since I saw Ginnys garland-bedecked archway into her dining room, I dreamed of being able to do the same thing. So when I stepped foot into this apartment for the first time, I instantly knew it would fulfill my greenery-over-archway dreams. This is three pieces of faux garland, hung with some small nails I dug out of an IKEA art hanging kit. Because of my 100-year-old plastered and heavily textured walls, Command hooks simply laughed the THREE times I tried themin three different sizes and configurations (both the laughter and hook type). I finally gave up and went to get the hammer. Cant wait to patch those holes come January, trulythough worth it to me.

Implement a Big Holiday Moment (Thats Actually Really Easy)

Over on the console, I went for a sort of kind of holiday village. It was my initial vision to do a jam-packed Christmas village here, so I bought what felt like hundreds of trees and houses, and then I put them all down and the credenza ATE it. It was like starting with a pan full of fresh spinach and ending up with 2 tablespoons of cooked spinach. My dreams were dashed and I came up with plan B: mix in everyday things with some holiday feels and pretend it was your plan all along. Im actually very happy with it and dont think I havent sat at my dining table some mornings and nights just looking over here with a twinkle in my eye and sugar plums dancing in my head. When you boil it down, its really just three new vignettes: the two bottle brush trees + seasonal candle (above), a footed bowl with some leftover greenery and bottle brush trees (below) and ceramic houses with some fairy lights shoved up into them on top of books which were already there (photo after next). Oh, and some oranges from the grocery store because #theme.

My favorite thing about this whole scene is probably those beautiful wreaths hanging by velvet ribbon over the windows. I LOVE a wreath-over-window (or, as youll see, mirror) moment and two windows meant I had two chances to do it in this room. Quickly: Im very much obsessed with this wreath. It looks so high-end with the dangling brass bells and it matches the garland in the living room, so both spaces speak to each other.

Over on the bar, my vintage gilded mirror called for another ribbon-hung wreath, but I went for the faux cypress leaf version instead to keep things more minimal. The addition of some new brass barware (the Project 62 line looks really good, folks) and a few bottle brush trees and voila, my holiday bar.

When In Doubt, Keep It Simple (For Real)

When it came to what to do on my table, this was REALLY a last-minute DIY situation because I had no idea (which is typically the case with my table). The day before this shoot, Emily texted me that she had some leftover garland at her house from her shoot, and I could come grab some if I wanted. So grab it I did, not knowing what I planned on doing with it, but I ended up throwing it on the table just to think and when I finally came to, I realized it was exactly where it belonged. I pulled out my kitchen sheers because I do not have clippers (apartment living), trimmed it to size and pulled out some small, cheap glass votives I had in my cabinets already to make things moody. AND THEN, I had some extra oranges from my tree ornaments and I just scattered some throughout to connect both rooms visually.

But wait, theres more. At the last minute (okay, the night before), I wanted to give the room more of a casual party vibe and wanted a dessert set up, so I ran out to Ralphs with the intention of making something with the zero minutes I had left in my life to whip up a baked good and found a pre-made bundt cake instead. A simple glaze (though Im sure you could find one glazed already), some cranberries I rolled in sugar, and a smattering of fresh sage leaves is all I needed to fool Sara into thinking I had actually made this when she made it over to shoot. SEMI HOMEMADE TRICKERY.

I will most certainly be doing this again in the future, and if you do, as well, everyone will think youre a domestic goddess. Set out some cute appetizer or dessert plates (these from the Hearth & Home with Magnolia are super cute with festive sayings on them that are subtle but still fun), flatware and napkins, and with very little effort, you just became the hostess with the mostest time to actually blow dry your hair before people show up.

And thus ends my holiday dissertation. It started out bleak, but I promised it would end on a high note, and theres no higher note than being pulled together enough to maybe put some curls in your hair (at least for me).

I rounded up ALL the goods I got from Target below in a few groupings, and yes, at the end of the season, you might find this stuff is sold out either in-store or online, so for that Im SO sorry, but ALWAYS check your local stores because they restock or people make returns and you might just find what youre looking for. Oh, and for a few more exclusive tips, I wanted to share the story Ruemag.com featured of my home as well, so check that out if youre interested. Thanks for stopping by and the happiest of holidays and the merriest of Christmases to you all.

***photography by Sara Ligorria-Tramp, design and styling by Arlyn Hernandez

The post Arlyns Warm (& Sort of Last-Minute DIYed) Holiday Reveal appeared first on Emily Henderson.

Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/arlyns-warm-sort-of-last-minute-diyed-holiday-reveal

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