#i didnt proof read this since i dont have much time now bear with me pls

[kichikichiko]

Hello! I hope you're having a good time,I would like to request Kazuha and scaramouche with a gender neutral reader Who almost died protecting them?

If you don't feel comfortable doing this, don't do it. Thank you so much!

Don't you dare leave me!

HELLO HI EVERYONE! HAPPY (BELATED) NEW YEARS! 😻😻😻🌟🌟🌟

I've had this request in my ask box for MONTHS and Ive planned to write it when I got it but ykkkk life happens.

Ty Anon for sending this in and sorry it took me this long to write your request 💔

Synopsis: How your partner would react to when you risk your life to save them.

Pairing: Kazuha x Gn! Reader and Scara x Gn! Reader

Cw: Semi proof-read, Fluff, headcanon, slight blood mention, cursing for Scara, Established relationship (Kazuha), kiss at the end (Scara)

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KAEDEHARA KAZUHA ¤ Scarlet leaves pursue wild waves

It was around the time the Raiden Shogun declared the vision hunting decree, and right after Kazuha's dear friend Tomo passed trying to withsand the musou no hitotachi.

You were away for training with your teacher. And as you walked home you heard of the commotion on the streets

"That guy died from the Shogun's strike" "what was he thinking?! He is obviously no match for the Shogun"

Hearing all of the whispers made you a little worried. And something told you that it was terrible news. What if that was someone you knew personally?

Assuring yourself that it's probably just some stupid samurai off the streets is what you did. Trying to block out all the whisperd and worries of the city folk.

Until you heard his name from a group of people talking about what just happened. "...Kaedehara...."

Your boyfriend who you haven't seen since this morning. You stopped on your tracks and turned around hoping you heard that wrong.

"What did you say?"

"Pardon?" The person asked.

"The name." You repeated "the name you mentioned before, what was it again?"

"Kaedehara. Kaedehara Kazuha?" The person said confused by your expression growing more and more distraught by the second

"What happened to him? Did he..." you couldnt even get yourself to finish that sentence. You didnt want to believe that HE was the one who challenged the Raiden Shogun

"No dont worry (miss/sir) it's not him who died. Its another guy, but Kaedehara was seen on the scene taking the dead vision and running off. From what I've heard he's running away right now"

Without wasting another second you booked it to the nearest port. You had no idea if he was going to be there as he escaped but it's worth the shot anyways.

Panting and gasping through the bamboo forest while thinking about the fate of your boyfriend isn't the best combination.

"What if he got caught?" "What if he already left?" "What if that stranger was mistaken?" The what if questions were not helping you at all.

So all you did was to hope. Hope that he is still alive, hope that he is still in Inazuma

Your legs were killing you and your lungs feel like they're about to explode if you don't stop running. But you can't

You need to see Kazuha.

As if the Archon's heard your prayers, all of a sudden you hear a guard shouting in a distance "Kaedehara Kazuha you're under arrest under the vision hunting decree!"

"It's him! He's still here!" Relieved he hasn't made it out of Inazuma yet, you started running even faster to the scene.

When you got there you saw Kazuha fighting a bunch of the Shogun's guards left and right. "Kazuha!" You shouted out in relief, as you drew out your katana (sword) and began helping him fight.

You bear no vision, but the adrenaline was pumping into your veins you didnt give a second thought and dove into the fight.

"(Name)??" Kazuha turned around to look at you for a split second. Honestly if it werent for the current condition youre both in, he'd hug you real tight

"How did you find me?" He asked before turning his head around and defend himself from the guards.

"I heard from the city folks hat you ran away after a man died from the musou no hitotachi" you responded, blocking a strike from another guard.

He made a mental note to explain to you the story after the fight is over.

Speaking of which, the fight lasted for quite sometime until all of the shogun's minions were down.

You turned around and hugged Kazuha, throwing your weapon onto the ground.

"I'm so glad youre safe Kaz" you burried your bead into his shoulder, still panting from all that fighting, adrenaline and running.

Kazuha was panting as well, hugging you tighter like never before and kissed your forehead softly "Me too (name), I'm so sorry I didn't come to you sooner and told you anything. Everything happened so fast, I had to leave before I got caught."

You pulled away from the hug and smiled at him softly, your breathing becoming more stable after a while "That's alright, I found you just in time-"

Something was moving behind Kazuha and you couldn't make it what it was until you could.

It was the Shogun's guard again, with a bow and arrow... aimed at Kazuha's back. Your heart dropped

before the guard should release the arrow you pushed Kazuha away and took the hit.

The arrow ended up piercing your shoulder which earned a shout from you. It hurted like hell and blood started flowing out of your shoulder by the minute.

At first you felt dizzy from the blood loss and then everything went dark. You were going in and out, Before you blacked out completely, the first time you saw Kazuha charging up to the guard and fought him. The next time you saw him picking you up bridal style

And the last thing you heard was " (name) Don't you dare leave me!"

♤

The first thing you saw when you woke up was a wooden ceiling above you. "Where am I?" You sat up and hissed from the pain on your shoulder. You took a look at thr soirce of the pain and to your surprise, the wounded area had been wrapped with a compression bandage.

Looking around at the area you realised you ended up on a ship. But how?

Before you could ask more questions, the door in front of you opened, and standing there was Kazuha. The man saw that you were awake and sped walk towards you.

"You're awake! Thank goodness. Don't worry everythings alright. We're on a ship of a pirate captain from Liyue and she got her crew to help stop the bleeding on your shoulder."

Ah, he basically just answered the questions that were popping up in your head. "Looks like we'll have to thank this pirate captain for her hospitality"

You looked at the current condition of your lover. His shoulders were tense and his lips forced into a small smile.

You could tell it was so that you wouldn't be alarmed. And you could tell he was still shaken up by the stunt you pulled earlier.

"I'm sorry my love, for scaring you like that." Placing your hand on his shoulder, then slowly making your way up to his cheek. "I'm safe, youre safe. That's all that matters."

You could see his eyes softening and his shoulders becoming less tense

"Youre right... youre right. You just got me worried back there. I was afraid I might lose you too." He whispered softly, cupping his hand over your hand.

Subconciously he gripped your hand hard enough to make you notice but not hard enough to hurt you.

He didn't have to elaborate any further for you to realise that his dear friend was the one who died.

"I won't leave you here alone dear. That's a promise." pulling him into a hug, which he reciprocated quickly

"What now?" Is a question you both will figure out later.

Right now, the only thing that matters is the two of you.

SCARAMOUCHE/ KUNIKUZUSHI ¤ The Balladeer

Being the Balladeer's assistant was no easy job

Literally.

Having to deal with his yelling, degration, mocks, (tantrums) and bad temper required patience. Lots of it

But no matter how many times he left you out in the snow to freeze, or mocked you in front of everyone, you stayed by him. Honestly no one understood how and why (and neither did Scara but he would never question it)

Partially because the pay is good (the harbingers decided to pay you extra because youre dealing with Scaramouche), partially because you don't get treated as half as bad as his subordinates and because sometimes he isn't so bad in general.

What I mean by "not so bad" is that sometimes, barely, but once in a blue moon. He shows that he cares and appreciates your help and loyalty.

When he was sent out on a mission to Inazuma, you couldn't come to help him due to unfortunate circumstances. He was pissed to say the least

surprisingly not at you but at the higher ups for not allowing you, his assistant to come

he brought you a souvenier from Inazuma. Nothing much and nothing grand, but it is something from your boss so you treasure it.

Another time you got sick with the flu, at first he was pissed (when is he not 💀🖕) but then at night, he came over to give you some soup

By the Balladeer's words it is to "Make you get better soon so you can work again. I can't manage all this shit by myself"

Which you translated it to "I miss your company and I need your help with my tasks"

Either way you appreciated his kindness.

♤

Scaramouche and you were sent out on a mission together to the chasm. Usually they wouldn't send the harbingers down there, but an important relic from an unknown lost civilization was found, and the fatui wants to study it.

As the 2 of you were down there, all you (other than trying to find the relic) did was listen to his occasional rants and curses to the other harbingers for sending him on this mission.

"Annoyed as always" you rolled your eyes.

When the relic was found and secured safely, the two of you nodded at each other as a sign that you both should head out as soon as possible

Luckily Scaramouche and you didn't run into any enemies which was....

"Strange" you mumbled to yourself, brows furrowed and eyeing the caves

"What is?" taking a glance behind to look at you as he was right in front of you

"It's just that we haven't bumped into any monsters or enemies during our time here." You started

"There's always enemies down here at the chasm"

Scaramouche shrugged at you "Maybe theyre taking a nice long nap, or maybe they know their place and not to mess with us." He was half sarcastic and half serious. Either way, he wasn't bothered by this at all

You nodded at him. Not necessarily because you agree with him

But mainly because you're quite unsettled about the whole situation to the point where you'd just hope he was right

Something must be wrong with the universe because not long after, a mob of hillichurls showed up

Scaramouche groaned, getting ready to fight "Great you jinxed it."

They were just a bunch of hillichurls so it really didn't take long for Scara to handle it while you guard the relic

"Let's just get out of here before I have to deal with those i-" before your boss could finish his sentence an abyss herald showed up

When it showed up, you drew out your weapon getting ready to fight. He was no easy foe and even if you knew Scara could handle it...

Something was telling you thing's were about to go south.

You and him started fighting the Abyss enemy

Scara with his electro powers and you with your (vision of choice)

"Hey (name) fuck off I can handle this myself you know?!" He shouted at you

"No you can't Scaramouche!" You retaliated, not listening to another word he says because you were getting more and more pissed by his antics "Just shut up and let me help!"

With the way you disobeyed his orders AND talk back at him got him taken aback and angry at you

"Why this little bitch!" He wanted to say

Scara just gave the abyss herald an opening to launch an attack at him

"Scara watch out!" Luckily you saw right on time and threw yourself in front of Scara to protect him

The attack was so bad you started coughing out blood from the impact. Everything started to become blurry and you lost your balance and strength, dropping your weapon in the process

Before you blacked out you heard Scara scream out something you couldn't quite make out and then... total darkness.

♤

"Don't you dare leave me here!" Echoed in your mind before you awoke in a bed in a strange place. This wasn't Snezhnaya and you know it.

"Where am I? And who said that sentence when I was asleep?" You asked yourself, slowly sitting up from the bed with a groan.

The door on your right opened and in came your boss

"Scara..!" You managed to say. Your voice came out soft and sort of like a wheeze. The impact of the attack seemed to affect your ability to talk as well

"Shh. Don't talk. The doctor said your vocal cord needs rest." Making his way to your bed, and sat by the edge

You closed your mouth but it was clear you had many questions. Scara frowed a little but started answering the questions he knows you'll anyways

"We're still in Liyue. I managed to carry you out of the chasm and the relic I handed off to some fatui members I saw on the way to the doctor.... and you've been out for 3 days now. I was..." he paused and looked away

"Starting to get worried." You didn't have to see his face to know that his expression softened.

Now it all makes sense, you now know what Scara said before you blacked out.

"Don't you dare leave me here!" It was also the sentence that echoed in your mind while you were asleep.

You knew long ago that the all so scary Balladeer had developed feelings for you. It was the little things he did for you that made you question but today, this whole incident made it clear to you that the 6th Fatui Harbinger harbours feelings for his assistant.

You did as well of course. Even though he was a pain in the ass sometimes, it feels as if no one understand you more than he does, and likewise.

Scooting closer to the harbinger, you brought your hand up to his cheek and made him face you.

He saw your expression and even though you said nothing, he knew what you meant. "I'm not leaving you here."

You both slowly moved closer and kissed each other, removing all the tension in the balladeers shoulder.

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Request

Masterlist here!

[ninmnoi]

— Stop, you’re losing me.

mingyu x reader || angst.

summary ; trying to save an already failing relationship is a lot harder when he forgets your birthday.

(not proof read lol)

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Its your birthday, you’ve never made a big deal about it tell you met him. You still remember his shocked face and loud “WHAT” when you told him you dont found your birthday a big deal, its just another day. Ever since then, he always celebrated your birthday in fun surprises and dinners. He made it so important and meaningful for you, and the big part of that is because you know he’ll be there.

So your nothing short of despair when its past 5pm and he hasnt once messaged you. It’d be another thing if he just didnt message happy birthday, you wouldve been okay with goodmoring.

You sigh putting your phone down, bitting your lip as your eyes water. It shouldnt be this serious, you’ve never even cared about your birthday before, so why dose it hurt so bad now?

Mingyu

That god damn Mingyu.

He used to be such a soft spoken soul, aiding to your needs as you do with him, those first few years of your relationship. He confessed to you in your own backward, he put his effort and time into it. You can even smell the flowers that lead to Mingyu, see the lights that brightened his soft smile, that swift hair and tall figure standing nervously fiddling with the bouquet in his hands. And who could forget the blush that tainted his face and ears, tears threatening to jump out after you said “yes.”

Now, your even lucky if he stays with you a whole day. Its always this or that driving him away. When he left your sisters engagement dinner because a friend of his needed help moving in, or when he canceled a date because he forgot a “really super duper important project” as he said. The nights he wouldnt call, the empty king bed. The second toothbrush that hasnt been moved in 2 weeks.

It drove you insane, but you still gave him the benefit of the doubt.

“Maybe he’s busy”

“Hes probably sleeping”

“God his phone must’ve died”

Your friends would yell at you over text, spamming you with the reality check you needed, but never could deposit. After pacing around the kitchen trying to ignore the cute cake you bought with a sad candle slowly sinking into it. You pick up your phone and call him.

Ring…

Ring…

Ring…

*click!*

Did he just hang up on you..?

No, he would have to be crazy.

You call again.

Same fucking thing, even quicker just 2 rings in.

You open his contact info, trying to see where his location would put him.

“No Location Found.” You curse, what is he hiding? Your mind leads to the one scenario you’ve been dreading, infidelity. The thought of him cheating makes you wanna throw up, but sadly its a most common event. You’re just so done with everything, putting the cake away into the fridge and changing clothes. Its now 6:42pm and with the major headache you have, you simply decided to sleep it off. Hugging the build-a-bear Mingyu bought you a year back, it muffles your sobs, soaking in the tears.

It’s cold and dark when your awaken by an extra weight adjusting it’s self onto the right side of the bed. You recognize it all to well. Mingyu pulls the covers over himself, giving you a small peck on the tip of your ear.

“You’re home” you say, your drowsy and hurt voice clear.

“Yeah- im sorry im so late” he whispers to you

“There's cake in the fridge”

“Cake? For what”

You sigh, “My birthday”

You can hear his breathe hitch.

“Fuck- Baby im so sorry. I didnt mean to forget. I was just so bus-.”

You sit up.

“Busy,? from what? So busy you couldnt even text? Because clearly it wouldnt have taken as much time as hanging up on me and turning off your location did. So if ‘busy’ is some new slang for ignoring then that makes way more sense.”

“I didnt even know you called, i swear. My location should be on babe.. I” He mumbles on

“Then whos hanging up on me? Making sure i dont know where your at? Is she fun?”

Mingyu’s eyes widen

“What are you talking about?”

“Her, you know.. Is she attractive? What is it huh? Skinner than me? Or maybe blonder? Or is because you dont need to be responsible for her?

“Baby no, its none of that.” He grabs your shoulders.

“I love you, calm down”

“How can i?” You exclaim, jumping off the bed.

“You missed my birthday! I waited for you like some stupid dog! I felt so stupid.”

“I dont understand, birthdays were never that big of a deal for you”

“They werent until you made it a problem! Now look at me” you say, the tear stained face and puffy cheeks evident.

Mingyu gets up, walking over to you.

“I know ive been distant, let me make it up to you”

“Where were you tonight?”

He stays quiet for a moment, taking a deep breathe

“My friend he uh… invited me to a club” he quietly says.

“Oh. Okay.”

“Okay..?”

“Mingyu, get out”

“What?” His heart drops.

“Get out! Did the club music deafen you?? I want you gone” You yell, tears streaming down your face as you push him out. Though you have little to no affect of moving his body, it makes it all the more depressing.

“Okay…Okay..” He quietly says, grabbing his phone off the dresser. Looking down at you with remorseful eyes. His heart aching at the messed up state your in. And its because of him, god.

You slam the door behind him, locking it. You sigh before faintly walking back to your bed.

And theres your build-a-bear, ready to be hugged and to soak all your tears again.

Atleast, that comforts you.

[park-seonghwa]

Yes, I do. However, I decided to do an online university instead of just a regular uni, but I hope it's gonna be nice. And thank you so much, it means a lot to hear this, really💖I hope you know how amazing and strong YOU are.💞 for the questions: 1, 3, 4, 6, 11, 13, 18, 19, 20 (I'm so sorry it's so many, I'd have loved to just ask you all of them bc they're so good😭)

now lets go, its q&a time hehe!

1. Which 3 members of Ateez would you get on well with the most, and why?

im almost 100% sure id get on well the most with hongjoong. i think its because we’re both scorpios and i get on well with every scorpio i know (im not an astrology expert tho lol). imo hes a very opinionated and thoughtful person, so we’d have a lot of deep talks, which we’d both enjoy. also i think our humor might be kinda similar, so we’d always laugh at our own jokes even if no one else understood. oH and we’d be able to comfort each other in the best possible ways, since we’d always sort of know, how the other one is feeling. next one is yeosang. (again, i get on well with geminis irl hehe!!) i think we would enjoy each other’s presence a lot, even if we were just silently sitting next to each other. i have the feeling that he’d always be there for me and he’d never get angry at me if i behaved like an ass. and the third one that im gonna mention is mingi. i feel like he would always make me smile without even trying, and thats something i adore. he’d be my happy pill and i would be the one who would bring him down to earth.

3. What genre of movie would you watch with each member?

wow thats an interesting question!! i’d watch some psychological thriller/drama with hongjoong, bc i feel like we’d love to discuss our thoughts abt the movie afterwards. 

i’d like to watch some romantic comedy with seonghwa,, akdjkjw he’d blush so hard during the romantic scenes ajkaskhd

CARTOON WITH YUNHO omg thats a dream!! i think he’d get soft and it’d be fun to watch him being all cute and such hehe. or any harry potter movie omg

i think watching some fantasy or sci-fi movie with yeosang would be rly nice. or maybe a comedy because his laugh has healing abilities hehe

as for san, probably a sci-fi movie with superheroes and stuff!! i think he’d be so excited 

horror movie with mingi is a bIG YES hehehe i bet i’d die looking at him shitting his pants bc he’d be so scared lol and same goes for wooyoung, but i think he might be the one laughing at me being a scaredy cat lol

hmmm maybe an action movie with jongho, for example something like james bond!! i think it’d be fun to watch a comedy with him too!!

4. Which Ateez member do you personally relate to?

seonghwa because of his iconic “smiling through the pain” smile and hongjoong!!

6. Do you have any similarities you share with any member?

i really love dancing just like yunho, its a big passion for both of us. and i feel like im the quiet type like yeosang . ohhh and im in love with ear piercings just like hongjoong, i already have 5 of them and planning to get more!!

11. What fruit do you associate the members with? (lol this made me luagh)

i think we can all agree that jongho is an apple, theres no other way anyone could answer this lmao hongjoong is a mango, seonghwa is a blueberry, yunho is a strawberry, yeosang is grapes, san is an ananas, mingi is a banana and wooyoung is an orange!! (it just the way i feel, idek lol)

13. Is there a (not ateez) song that makes you think of a member?

oMG THIS QUESTION YESx524!!!!! 

whenever i listen to ‘press play and escape’ by teflon sega, ‘im the one’ by bloo and ‘sinking down with you’ by vinxen i think of hongjoong

‘if i get high’ by nothing but thieves. ‘killing me slowly’ and ‘goodnight’ by eden remind me of yunho

and i always think of seonghwa when i hear ‘baby shark’ lol

18. Rank your bias’ looks throughout all Ateez eras.

ughh yunho looks gOOD all the time but if i rly had to choose id say 1. zero to one era 2. one to all era 3. all to zero

19. Who do you think has the best eyebrows in Ateez?

:DDDD i dont think ive ever focused on their eyebrows lol i had to check them out before answering this ajhdjwg nd like they all have nice eyebrows?? hmm maybe yeosang i cant decide hehe

20. What job do you think would suit each member if they weren’t idols?

hongjoong would be a good artist, or a fashion designer. seonghwa maybe a lawyer?? (idk it was hard to think of anything else:o) im sure yunho would be an amazing dance choreographer/teacher!! yeosang....hmm a botanist or barista. san uhh probably an actor....? mingi’s a PRESIDENT for sure whos with me on this lmao wooyoung mayhaps a kindergarten teacher hehe and jongho would make a good fitness coach!! 

im sorry for making this so long i couldnt hold myself back hehe it was so fun!! thank you for asking my angel 💖💖💖

[jpegjade]

Mr. Loverman (Pt. 3)

Alright frens and ferns. we’re gonna go through this shorter chapter. Still like 3 google docs pages but my fics are normally like 4-6 pages. (if you can’t tell, i’m a one-shot writer AND HAVENT WRITTEN A STORY FIC SINCE I WAS LIKE 14. shoutout to the wattpad days.) so this one is shorter bc i need to work but i wanted to put this out. part 4 will be much longer. idk how long im gonna end up making this fic in the end. ((yall gotta keep me encouraged to focus on this thing bc my adhd will in fact leave you all hanging on a cliff hanger and we wont look back lmao)))

i apologize for the shortness. i also apologize for adding the person i hate with a BURNING passion. yall just dont know. anyway, i’m so sorry. and for those who haven’t gotten to 11/12, there are no spoilers. this is like independent of that storyline and kinda after but i’ll explain a little in the next chapter. but i wanted to keep this true to the cm universe. also i didn’t want to create a wholeass character with a tragic backstory to explain why they’re a psychopath when in reality they just suck. that takes too damn long

warnings: none that i can think of. ((i dont even think i swore once. im so fucking proud. oops)) and no, i didnt proof read. so roll with any mistakes.

mr. loverman 1: Bloop

mr. loverman 2: bloop bloop 

____________________ 

“Y/n, have you seen anything or anyone suspicious lately? Anyone you recognized from one place appearing in other spaces?” Prentiss said. 

Everyone was staring at you. You felt the pressure on you to say the right thing but you didn’t know. You didn’t know what to say so you tried honesty. 

“No, not that I’ve noticed. Sorry if that makes things harder.” You sighed. 

You felt like you were letting everyone down because you didn’t notice anyone. Everything in your life was mundane and nothing stood out. You were super aware of your surroundings but you still felt like it wasn’t enough. You spent more time than ever in your apartment, which was hell but necessary with everything going on.

“Here’s the problem.” Emily started. “We have received intel that you’re on a bounty hunter’s hit list. Not only that but they have been watching you for some time now.” 

You were speechless. Who would pay to have you killed? Who did you piss off enough to pay money to have you killed? And what did this bounty hunter look like? This made you incredibly nervous and despite being away for two years, your body just reacted. 

Spencer told himself not to freak out. This didn’t mean anything. You were holding his hand tightly. It was what you used to do every time you got scared. Spencer squeezed your hand a little bit to let you know he was there and then he felt you squeeze back. You didn’t let go of his hand through the rest of the conversation but Spencer was barely paying attention. Garcia eventually ushered the two of you out of the room and back to your temporary bedroom. 

The silence between you and Spencer was incredibly loud. You let go of his hand as soon as you got to the breakroom, apologizing. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” You said. You figured that he would know what you were talking about. You sat in your corner of the mattress where you previously sat and Spencer sat in the space he occupied before the meeting. 

“No, you were scared. It’s okay.” He said. 

Silence that seemed to last forever happened. You were thinking about him and he was thinking about you. You were both so nervous about what came next but you didn’t know what to say. It took forever to come up with something but Spencer came up with something. 

“I wasn’t lying.” Spencer looked down at his shoes. 

“About?” You said, confused. You leaned your head against the wall. You were getting so tired. 

“Missing you. You have been all that I’ve thought about through these past two years.” He said, finally looking up at you. 

“Spence…” You said, yawning. You closed your eyes for a moment. 

“I haven’t connected to anyone else as naturally as I connected with you.” He said. 

“Well, I guess I can’t say anything different since I haven’t been able to move on.” You said, sleepily. It had been a long day and you were beyond exhausted. When you’re that tired, anything you say is bound to be unfiltered. 

“You were the only one who cared for me, all of me, and didn’t mind everything that came with me. No one gets that. No one cares about me like you do, even now. I couldn’t bear to take the ring off because it would mean losing a piece of you. And I couldn’t do that. I may have broken off the relationship but that doesn’t mean I stopped loving you. To this day, I…” You barely said before you fell asleep. 

Spencer thought about waking you but you looked so peaceful. He hated when he was left on a cliffhanger, especially like this, but you needed rest. So Spencer gently helped you lay down and covered you with your blanket. He was about to walk outside the door to guard and take a breather but you grabbed his arm and mumbled a very small, “Stay.” 

And that’s what he did. He stayed, holding you while you slept peacefully. He was so comfortable that he eventually nodded off. That was the first time in two years that he didn’t have a nightmare that scared him awake. 

When he woke up, you were nowhere to be found. Frantically searching, he ran all over the floor before noticing it was sunrise. You loved watching the sun rise in the mornings with a cup of coffee and a nice playlist going. 

“Hey, Spence.” You said, looking out the window. You looked rested, not tired like yesterday. 

“Y/n, you scared me. I thought something happened.” He said, looking at you. How did you make a sundress look so pretty? 

“Sorry. I thought about waking you but you were smiling in your sleep, the small, happy smile you do, and I wanted you to sleep. Besides, I had Cat to keep me company.” 

Spencer’s blood ran cold. That wasn’t possible. He was jumping to conclusions and you were sure it was just an intern or someone who…

“Hey Spencie. I’m having a grand time with y/n here. She’s a ball of sunshine.” Cat said, a fake smile fading into a straight face. 

Spencer immediately grabbed for his gun but didn’t find it anywhere on his hip. 

“Looking for this?” Cat took the gun out of her bag and pointed it directly at Spencer. 

Your head could barely comprehend what was happening. You were instructed to put your hands up and walk into the conference room, sitting across from each other. 

“And no touching. That’s no fun.” Cat pointed the gun at Spencer. You noticed that she was fixated on Spencer. You guessed that they somehow knew each other.

You were already in tears. What was happening? Could you make it out of this one alive? 

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Tag list: 

@dr-reid-ismyspiritanimal

@andiebeaword

@justanothetfangirl

@fanfictionreader05 

@addie5264

[macklives]

alright, im actually kind of in the mood to unpack some stuff regarding karkat's character and the way alternia works actually, so i dont mind giving this a go. and while act 5 isnt completely finished yet (so this is an analysis post for act 5 up until page 2305), there is still more to explore, and im pretty sure i have a lot more to read regarding both karkat AND alternia. until then, i will give a general layout as to what i know so far and how i can expand this in a psychological way (especially considering i did my psych exam so my mind is FRESH from studying)

alright, starting with what seems to be the deal with the hemospectrum, theres a total of 12 blood colors. HOWEVER, one of those blood colors is a "mutant" blood which is unwanted in troll culture as it is, well, "mutant", meaning whoever has this blood will get brutally slaughtered. hurrayyy. im guessing it is even lower than aradia's rust blood, as she is allowed to live but is the lowest on the hierarchy triangle. meaning karkats blood is not even ON the hierarchy triangle and simply buried underground where they hope he stays. so its not exactly pleasant to be living in a society where everyone is trying to KILL you or at least keep you away from everything.

from what i remember, troll reproduction is a vital aspect in their culture, that everyone is forced to mate and drones will come by each house to collect the genetic material. this is mandatory apparently, and if someone were to object, they will be “culled" as quickly as they could say no. alternia seems to be really keen on the whole "blood and carnage" thing, which means their probable solution to anybody breaking the law, is to kill them on sight and just leave them there to rot - regardless of who they are and what families they comes from or have. trolls are free to kill whenever or whoever they please without any governmental repercussions. which means revenge upon revenge happens without any policy.

however this is very important when looking at karkat, because karkat may not be able to do the whole reproduction process (not that we necessarily want him to, im saying this in terms of how its mandatory for every troll and there will be a time when the drones WILL come for karkat). but as he is already a mutant and if they were to "collect" from him, they would find out his blood regardless of how he hides it. they will either cull him for saying no, or cull him for his blood. karkat, in this sense, is doomed regardless. which makes his character much more interesting.

and keep in mind alternia kind of sucks, because from the looks of it, trolls are constantly tested throughout their lives to prove themselves to society that they are allowed to live and survive. but ONLY if they are the strongest among them. alternia wants to become this fearful planet where the weak die off and only those proven worthy can stay to grow up and slaughter more of their kind until the world is nothing but blood thirsty strong murderers. im not too sure who is governing alternia but they can suck a dick if they think this is how good morals work. alternia only really has one way to solve things which is to kill those who question/fight back, OR to kill those who CANNOT fight back essentially. which puts all the trolls through a double edged sword where they cannot do anything but follow the guidelines given to them by troll's society and government, and try to survive as much as they can until then.

if i remember correctly, when it comes to the law side of things. if you look at it from terezi's introduction where she explains prosecutions with her plushies (lemonsnout ect ect i forgot the term for them lol), she said "you are guilty until proven innocent" which is the polar opposite of "innocent until proven guilty” used in OUR own society today (tho i guess we are by far the "good guys" in this situation, but we are far different than how trolls live their lives). anyways, what this means is that everyone dies regardless unless theres literal proof that they have not done the crime. even so i wouldnt put it past them to do nothing about their case even WITH proof. terezi even goes to say that technically there is no way to deal with the law on alternia, and most of crimes get solved through death. she even demonstrates this by how easily she hung the "suspect" and flipped a coin to determine his fate. however, even with the coin landing on the side of safety, where the suspect were to be released, she said "im blind remember i cannot see this coin" and essentially "killed" him. while terezi may have just been playing with her plushies, theres something we can take from this which dictates how their actual court cases are actually solved.

NOW, vriska (yes ik pls bare with me here, i will not make it about vriska but i do have a point here), from the last few pages i saw, can basically kill her friends in an instant, without any remorse. i can tell she sees this as the most "necessary" solution for her problems. i wouldnt say its for survival, but she does do it as a way to provide some sort of safety on alternia. she is a higher blood, and apparently the high bloods are known to kill whoever they please as long as its convenient. and since trolls have this whole fad of "killing the ones who cause you trouble so the problem is out of the way", she is wired to think its the only solution when threatened or when you dislike a person. 

god, she killed aradia because she wanted "revenge", because she wanted to get back at aradia for tormenting her with ghosts EVEN IF aradia did so because she threw tavros off a cliff in the first place. this may have worsened their friendship, KEEP IN MIND THEY WERE FRIENDS, but NEITHER, and i mean neither terezi/vriska/aradia, had any remorse if the other dies as long as there was a reason. in the story, vriska didnt care what happened to tavros because she disliked him, therefore becoming pretty bias over his fate. because of this attempt at killing, aradia didnt care what happened to vriska either, and neither did terezi. terezi sold her out to one of the most powerful beings on their planet, solely because of their revenge cycle. as long as the troll in question did something "malicious”, then that plays a factor in their morals. vriska gave no second thought to killing both of her friends (or at least attempt to with tavros), terezi also tormented john in act 4 which led to his “doomed timeline death” and sold vriska out after she realized vriska wouldnt change. so no fucking WONDER karkat tries to hide who he is, he's overly cautious to not let it slip out because even the people he calls friends could backstab him at any given time considering theres LITERAL EXAMPLES OF THESE TROLLS HAVING DONE SO.

to karkat, he sees this as dangerous, which is why he even CALLS vriska dangerous to begin with. she might not even hesitate to kill him herself or maybe sell him out to the drones, because 1. she may not want to be a witness to something society actively seeks to destroy and 2. she cares more for her survival than karkats. EVEN if they were friends (re: aradia and vriska and terezi). so it just shows. 

on that note, i find it funny how karkat indirectly distracted vriska after she baited him with the question of his blood in a past conversation, which prompted karkat to monologue about troll romance. he was, yes, VERY interested in this topic to start with, but it was a nice little bonus for karkat as to not be found out by the one person who would most likely kill him even if it wasnt on purpose. however, we do not know how this will play out IF she does find out, we just know karkat is in the right to be scared of the theory.

and, alright i do have to mention this, while karkat may have been an angry fucker to START with, who spites the world and throws out insults every chance he gets, i feel he does this as more of a survival instinct as well. he doesnt care what he says to people no matter what they rank on the hemospectrum. they dont know his blood color so he feels he has some sort of immunity, but he just needs to keep it hidden. it also may just be his personality, as he IS a character who was given specific traits and andrew went along with it without so much thinking about plot. yet if you look at this from more of the metaphorical route, think about it with uhhhh lets say the perspective of how dogs work. for example, when you put a chihuahua next to a doberman, a doberman is more of an excited, energetic dog whereas a chihuahua will rain hell down on anybody who so goes near them. sometimes this is to make up for their size, to seem as menacing as the larger doberman, as they have nothing else to fend themselves with. another way to look at it is, if you see a bear (i forget if its black/brown or grizzly) you make yourself seem like the bigger person by scaring it off with sounds and eventually it will leave you alone. these sort of tactics work in the sense of survival. this is sort of what karkat could be doing, he uses insults and a defensive shouting to not really "hide" himself, but to have some sort of way as to not be found out if people start to question. someone asks him "hey karkat whats your blood" he goes "FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF, END OF STORY" which could make a person go "yo sorry dude forget i ever asked". so this could be a factor as to why he is so crabby, however on the other hand, he is crabby because that is also his character. andrew probably thought yo cancer = crab = crabby. however i do like how he is perceived and the whole "mutant blood" really made me do a double take on how he views life himself. he has to always hide who he is or he will get physically killed. alternia would take joy in finding out he does not belong there because lets face it, alternia is a bitch of a planet.

this also brought me to ask the question, why does karkat want to be a leader if hes so scared of what would happen to him if he were to be found out? which then, at first i said lol this is just karkat, he wants to a leader because he just wants to be the leader, he likes when things go to plan and that he the most say in their sburb plans considering he thinks everyone else is a "dumbass". to which, i then thought about it more and went ouch what if hes a leader because he knows hes not valued enough in society, that he somehow wants to feel some sort of importance in the world, so he wants to become a leader. i imagine younger karkat, not knowing why his blood is so undermined, finding out he is not wanted and suddenly on the most wanted list without having even DONE anything. even TAVROS said he was on that list, but only because he was weak and had no back-bone, here karkat may have been strong but no matter what, he was to be culled BECAUSE of his blood. something he cannot change no matter what. imagine a little kid knowing he will die at any point because of who he is (rlly sounds familiar if you think about it). so of course, he hides himself from the world, but do you think for an instant, little angry karkat wants to simply be FORGOTTEN about? i doubt that, he wants to be heard, he doesnt necessarily want to be rejected as he knows he will be, so while he does hide his blood, he wants to have a voice no matter what. when being a leader, people dont reject you, they LISTEN. they all may not want to because karkat is just a fucking ticking time bomb, who can lash out at any second, but i feel theres now a reason why he has this superiority complex. he wants to sort of become the person he knows he never will become (if you put it into that perspective). so thats kind of why im giving him the benefit of the doubt here.

i would also like to point out a sort of.... comparison?? not with the dogs but with unwanted children in a family household. this doesnt necessarily apply to karkat, but sub in family household with society and it might as well. (on that note, a warning/viewer discretion, if you have any problem with this kind of discussion, i wouldnt read further into this paragraph and skip to the next one) alright, the unwanted child psychology basically deals with the process of a child which is neglected by their parents, and/or know that they were never wanted in the family. i read an article a while back when we were discussing this in a lecture, we were browsing multiple people's perspective on the matter, and one said "An affective relationship may be suffocating to [the unwanted/neglected child]: it’s a defense against intimacy of which they know nothing. Normally they fluctuate between egotism and deep feelings of inferiority. They don’t understand what a balanced and healthy self-esteem looks like." it explains how the child who grows up in an unwanted home admits great emotion deprivation, because the child's bonds of affection are extremely fragile, and this can lead to both egotism and feeling like they are inadequate. and it really strongly shows karkats personality. we havent gotten that much from him in general, but considering how he uses this egotism to cover up the fact that he may be doomed, really shows the similarity. i liked this short article so i want to give some points to take into consideration, specifically this part: "It will be very difficult for unwanted children to build healthy relationships of affection in their adult life. Love is a foreign language to them. They don’t know how to decipher the codes and much less how to build them. It’s very hard for them to need and to be needed. That’s why, more often than not, they completely shirk their conflicts with peers and superiors, or do nothing but generate them. They speak incessantly about the broken relationship that marked their arrival in the world. A person with such a background will need help to get through those abysses of love that live in their heart. The most important step is that they recognize that their discomfort doesn’t depend on who they are, but the circumstances that led to their being." it may not be 100% tru for karkat but theres a small portion of it that can link back to karkats view on life and how being this mutant can really change who he is as a person. and i hope you can see the similarity between karkats character and this form of psychology. yet i also do not fully know the depth of karkat vantas. however i do hope it continues to build up in this way, as it would be both interesting and make us feel more for him as a person.

alright, i think if i write any more i will never stop aghjsk, which is a bit too much for a sunday afternoon, basically to sum up this post, trolls are violent and karkat will be killed if hes found out, even by his friends if it comes down to it. so karkat cannot really trust anybody, hes alone and imagine the thrill he had when he saw jack cut his hand to show the bright red blood? that he finally has someone LIKE HIM. imagine when he finds out about the kids. so i believe in his growth, while he needs to get a better vocabulary, i do get why hes so defensive all the time. because hes both scared and unwanted. and he wants to make up for it.

and i guess with all that being said, you can tell i now have a slight soft spot for the kid lmao

[meduise]

Whats some of ur fav dino, dino/hibari hcs?

finally i could reply to this ask!! which, anon, i still thank you for bc its the best thing i could ever be asked to talk about ww

reading will likely take some time, but i hope you and whoever else reads this post will share some hcs or at least find them nice ad interesting enough! and of course, i’ll be happy to answer more asks about it!! like the hibari-only post, i may come back to this one and update it over time

general warning for death mentions and spoilers from the novel “haneuma stampede”!!

hopefully this post wont be hidden from the tag search

dino headcanons

until i read about haneuma stampede, i pretty much always headcanoned dino’s hometown being naples, and this because i have neapolitan origins myself www in the light novel we get to know that dino’s hometown is a port city facing the adriatic sea (east) hence the opposite coast to naples, since this town faces the tyrrhenian sea (west). because of this piece of information, tho, i started thinking dino could be from bari, apulia’s capital city

being that a self projection, im still attached to that hc, so to keep at least a part of it i gave dino neapolitan grandparents LOL i mean, it’s not unlikely anyway

this is a recent hc but dino has a huge crush on is a big fan of immanuel casto, a gay italian singer whose most songs are explicit or suggestive and provocative

i think we all can agree that romario is like a second father to dino, right? their bond gets even stronger after cavallone nono’s death ;; romario will occasionally drop his habit to call dino “boss” and call him with his first name instead. dino will remind romario quite often how important he is to him beyond his role as his right-hand man

What Do You Mean Dino’s Tattoos Magically Appeared On His Body When He Was Deemed The Worthy Successor,,, i (falls on my knees) hc’ed that getting them done took A LOT and hurt A LOT and he yelled A LOT to the tattoo artist to stop inking and to his family that he didnt want to belong to that world,,,, im sorry dino

his tattoo and his duty as a boss in general dont give him much freedom (or should i say they dont give him freedom at all) so among the other hcs of situations where he has to cover his left arm, i have this one where dino cant but go to the beach when its empty and/or at night so that no one can see him but his men

the years may pass but he will still blame himself for his father’s death. and i mean. its pretty much true that it was his fault orz thanks light novel for giving me depress

onto the personality-wise hcs,, i talked about hibari’s enneagram type so i cant not do that for dino too. dino is 2w1, which gets called the servant. starting with the basic type: depending on the level of health, the two (”the helper”) ranges from being the most genuinely caring and helpful type to other people to being the type who gives expecting to be given something back to being the type who manipulates people into caring about them. i dont believe dino has fallen or will ever fall into the very unhealthy pit but he does get on the level where he thinks his generosity is the only thing that tie people to him and his people-pleasing attitude starts getting suffocating. he can be quite possessive, too. in a few words, type one is a very principled type, who fears being defective, bad and corrupt. therefore i assigned dino the one wing to kinda enhance the following paradox: being what he hates the most, aka part of a rotten system such as the mafia one. and with a role as a boss, to it. dino as a teenager never wanted to succeed to his father, and even now he wishes he didnt belong to that world but he loves his family, and even tho according to the moral he deserves to go to jail together with his men, he is self-admittedly too much of a coward to do that (theres so much more to add to this but if i do it will get REALLY long. there’s going to be another little enneagram talk in the d18 hcs anyway, lol)

_____________________________________________________________

dinohiba headcanons

these bitches gay good for them, good for them

advanced apologizes for being an angst fucker but for years my #1 headcanon has been a quite twisted one about dino and hibari not allowing themselves die by the hand of someone who isn’t each other’s. its a sort of oath. they feel like if one of them dies it will be unforgivable, and this will lead them to ultimately kill each other. in their mind, “it’s either both or none of them”, both know that they won’t be able to bear with the other being gone forever (yes, hibari too) and the only solution they find is leaving the world together, the same way they fought on it and against it together. the scenario i thought for this is a duel inside the reverse globe of needles. their last fight in hibari’s ultimate technique so that it’s literally just a world made of the two of them lol lol lol

tbh dino didnt like hibari at first, and with hibari being hibari it takes them long to warm up to each other. for long i mean some years w (years of anger, fights, hardship, trauma reveal, and so on)

their first bonding moment happens when hibari finds out about fon (yeah, all the stuff i talked about in my hibari hc post to which i have to add: i made my own timeline where the arcobaleno arc happens about 2 years later than shown in canon). dino is there to comfort him. dino hugs hibari and he lets him do. hibari cries. HIBARI CRIES for the third (3rd) time in his life there

i have this kinda specific hc of dino overhearing hibari sing hitoribocchi no sadame and getting sad about its lyrics

for obvious reasons even when they start dating they’re forced to spend most of the time away from each other but they make sure to be together at least on every anniversary

i love the established relationship trope so much therefore 80% of the times i think and write about them hibari is in his 30s and these two have been married for like 7 years 

i’ll get to the marriage proposal and ceremony another time hopefully in a fic too but of course romario and fon are chosen for their best men

idk if people consider ship playlists and such as hcs, but i associate savages by kerli and someone to stay by vancouver sleep clinic to them ;;

about someone to stay: the line will you fix me up? will you show me hope? is hibari -> dino, and the line can you keep me close? can you love me most? is dino -> hibari

and finally, to go back to the topic of enneagram: their compatibility according to their types. on the institute’s official site theres already a good description, which makes me cry everytime i go back to it because it literally starts with “These two types are more alike than they might appear to be at first”. part of this is given by the fact that unhealthy twos get the unhealthy traits of eights and healthy eights get the healthy traits of twos. i made a scheme for it:

i admit that i have no proof that the comparison is legit for the wings too, but finding out the stress/growth correlation even for them was very validating and satisfying, lol

some headcanons are missing from this post bc i decided to post the most important and my fave ones (the fave ones are those asked for in the first place but i cant shut up ashdjsdhfdjsdhfg)

but either way OVERALL i really, really love imagining both dino and hibari overcoming their hardships, individually and together, becoming the better versions of themselves the more the years pass, bringing their best qualities to each other and learning to accept and appreciate their different points of view. 

because of the way they are at first they... dont really start good, but with health and trust they make a powercouple tbh

[yuissamidare]

@codes i think i may have put this on my artblog but... Here

i guess ill start w ichi bc i always forget about him somehow like i always come up short when im making lists and im like 'oh wait shit yeah that guy’ bc im stupid n i only think of fishing trio + choro. I’m an Idiot. idk i never thought too hard on ichi bc i so rarely think about him but he looks so high its really funny i said this on main but he looks like my friend when he decided to try a weed gummy bear then started babbling about hentai then watched to watch porn with me but got mad all the intro scenes are a billion years long and started ranting about the industry but now that i think about it he looks like someone who used to send me weird shit when he was high like bad pick up lines about body parts i wish i didnt have

and thats so funny that its Ichimatsu who looks like that but also proof that hes high. but anyway!! hes really cute and im mad hes boutta ruin my reputation for my complete and utter lack of care and interest in him no matter what im mad. my friend gwyn said 'Sp lubing us up for the fuckening that is the reason why Ichi is sad in present day’ im really curious at the change like if hes trying a fake it till you make it type thing bc really emotionally exhausted or if hes just genuinely having a good time or hes puttin on a front since like. nails who stand get hammered down right??? just gotta do your best n Never Relax n i can relate to all that. but uhhh old hcs i guess

in kun ichi was the most serious! really smart but just as bad w school as the rest of them apparently but!! yeah so id think that!! ichis that guy who participates in class discussion constantly and is always willing to debate the readings, but turns in sloppy papers with typos and no a coherency or stucture or anything. he’s A+ in participation but has an average of 60% on most of the written assignments with points knocked bc of lateness then more bc its A Mess. you could ask about the prompts for one of his papers, he could babble about his position on it complete with paragraphs and footnotes but like the day before its due hes playing rpgs and watching horror movies.

his classmates think hes so smart n so intimidating. the family knows hes a hot mess. the teachers tell him he has a lot of potential but they don’t think hes applying himself. all are right. also he doesnt cheat or let people cheat off of him since hes always been about rules and boundaries and Rightness n he n jyushi were the only ones who Minded Themselves in kun

uhh jyushi!! let me talk about schoolwork again bc yeah i love jyushi so so so so much and thinking of him in a school environment is so weird i thought about it a lot n i thought about it him in kun n san and Woah!! i really really love delinquent jyushi, bc when i saw that i was like 'huh! that fits actually!!’ i love that like him and choro flip flopped completely from what i thought. his school must be so cold theyre too cheap to afford heating in the winter and in summer the acs Blast. he was so Shy and quiet and he cried and he liked to sing so i always thought that when he participated in chorus festivals hes always like right in front!! he hums a lot in class and also moves around alot bc he actually like school and people like primary trio are the types that make friends often. i wasnt supposed to talk about this yet whoops.

unlike ichi who relatively neat despite everything but has shit notes, jyushis notes are amazing and understandable and utterly illegible.

theyre covered in doodles, arrows and lines leading every which way, different colors but not like color coded n theyre not in order by date, but he opens to a random page every time yet somehow always seems to know where to find each lesson. he writes footnotes and caveats and corrections and criticisms of the teachers and random thoughts and just smears ink everywhere. sometimes his notes are on a completely different subject. the notebook itself is a horrifying mess, the front and back covers both covered in drawings and designs and falling apart, random papers shoved between the pages, coming apart at the seams, covered in stains of unknown origin. assignments are full of emoticons and informal language, and they always manage to make his teachers feel like hes smarter than they are (most likely). he does his projects the minute theyre assigned, and is finished a minute later so can talk to his friends. he loved school.

sophie told me once about how she thought was Like That was bc one of his main concerns is that he thought he had nothing that made him Jyushi n in kun she said he might have been the one who was the most concerned about having a distinctive personality and i talked about how that sorta carried over san and how he always blended in bc of how gentle and soft and push-overy he was. he was actually the and most gullible and weakest in kun so i was like :0 when i saw that and intentionally did stuff like only carry 14 yen in his pockets to be quirky but it always sorta fell flat and he was still invisible so i was like hmmmmm. and i can see how he couldve toughened up and thinking of this now!! i love that. oh im so happy. this is so much better than i ever couldve imagined ever.

totty…. i do not think he was very popular or good at school. i think he’s very decent at schoolwork but he never put much effort into it. just copies whats on the board but if the class runs out of allotted lesson time n he couldnt finish his work he just didnt do it like cram schools a pain in the ass. if he put effort hed be a star student but he just craps out whatever since hes was the laziest!! oh but something i noticed was that him and jyushi would play together often since sometime he felt overwhelmed by karamatsu a lot. also hes the money thief and scammer its great kun todo is so good. he gets shy and flustered easy too!!

but uhh yeah!! depending on the day im always like 'zaimoku love each other so much they are best friends and the perfect other halves!!’ then im like 'these mofos hate each other what the fuck is this trainwreck’ did you see their shitty small talk in the horse episode. what was that. like they are genuinely trying to communicate and are pretty easy with each other but they have nothing to say. its like when youre having a boring day at school and theres nothing to talk about with an acquaintance so you just look at the walls and go 'have you ever noticed how stupid these posters are’ then you both start reading posters aloud but you both know its not that funny and youre just doing it to waste time but you still enjoy their company you just dont want silence. thats their relationship. and i think they are just very similar in very different ways and like. the key things that make them both similar and different and the same fuck them up (like suiriku!! theyre both really similar even if it doesn’t seem like it at first which is why their compatibility in the relationship chart was so low in s1, but i saw a lot of improvement in both of their behaviours and their communication and honestly. s2 was worth it for that sophie was so happy to see her faves get along) like sometimes when you look in the mirror all the things you see are the things you dont like about yourself instead of what makes you wonderful and unique. also i didnt mean to talk about this but i guess i am.

but yeah. totty is bitter n resentful at kara during hs n karas more confused and upset at tottys behaviour in their twenties n thats bc like i said. theyre dumb. karamatsu!! i think was actually pretty popular in highschool n had a good amount of friends - i genuinely think theatre kids are well liked bc i literally know everyone in my department and im friends w a good amount of people and im not even That extroverted. my actual extrovert friends know everyone in the school by name and everyone in my department is so nice even though theres a lot of bitchiness and drama its not as bad as w other humanities studies (jesus christ humanity students outside of theatre are a hot mess.)

uh yeah n that ultimately makes totty feel a bit… betrayed? karamatsu is his partner! theyre supposed to be there for eachother! kara’s the first one to branch out, get friends etc etc and todomatsus left behind bc hes always the one playimg follow the leader and he breaks out of that once they graduate - he grows up resenting karamatsu slightly though he still cares. but this time Hes the one cancelling plans to hang out with friends instead. my friend katie put it best when, in response to me telling them this, they sent me:

'kara: totty you have so many friends now. We barely see you anymore.

totty, applying chapstick: well, I learned it from the best.’

when i told them about it. but at the time gwyn and i were babbling about possibilities and different storylines and how theres a possiblity the movie might break down into three manageable plotlines n she gave zaimoku 'popularity’ and this was me throwing out ideas but honestly. Good. (aha, the end of this scenario ended up with todo throwing hands and shoulder checking someone outside a window and then getting removed from the premise n hanging with atsushi all night after) why am i on this. shit what happened here.

uhh but yeah totty is Def someone with learned behaviours rather than being a natural extrovert honestly just look at him hes an introverted mess masquerading as a decent human being and i know full well how people like that are bc some of them have been my best friends for years n seein the new hs promos solidifies that fact bc look at him. Crybaby. He is Miniscule. A Child.

then its 'delinquent who looks like an honour student’ choro. i never studied him until sophie started liking choro n since i love sophie i wanted to take an interest in him too. n i started to think very hard about him! then gwyn planted this in me n its taken root and im just never not gonna think its great. yall see his shitty gokudo impression what a bossy lil shit. he pulled a whip on kara once and it was mad funny but also Gwyns Big Evidence for him just being the absolute worst not like a casually skips class type but a Choro was a legit a bully and really mean n sabatoged other classmates to make him look like he was 100% That Bitch. maybe not him being Mean and cruel but just an asshole who bums around, is something i really like that one a lot its been one of my faves since gwyn n i started talking about it but i just!! have a ton of other things too!!

hes a lot like karamatsu in that theyre both stupid and weird and embarrassing and they put on airs but they also!! dont try!! they talk so big and such high goals n expectations and they dont do shit bc they have so much hubris but i always talk about them bc suiriku is sophies Beloved so ill like. Not. but he acts like he’s better than all of them n forces the role of the straight man on himself because he wants to be seen as the responible, level headed one even if hes just. So Much.

i think the movies calling back to how touchy feely and clingy he was in kun and adding on to how jyushis a delinquent and kara… Is Like That he’ll be around them the most bc jyushi might either be really protective or push him away and then they do something to mend their relationship later on or hell cling to kara and they just. grow apart. sticking to my hc until the end bitches. oh.

for choro… personally!! i thought hed be a slacker instead of a delinquent but not in the way totty slacked - totty was lazy n knew the work but didnt want to put in effort but choro just. Doesnt. choro has so much energy all the time and choro Can Not deal with school situations. bc like… you always hear people say that studying is meant to be done at the desk, silently, no distractions what so ever!! focus on notes and nothing else!! ise a highlighter but dont use it too much!! make your notes legible but you only have five minutes before the board gets erased!! review!!! look at your notes or youll die! take breaks bit dont take too long and honestly. listen. kun choro wouldnt be able to stand that shit and id think hed just think he was doing it The Wrong Way n he just wasnt meant to do it.

he doesnt like quiet classrooms!! he cant study like that and hell get distracted. he cant sit still n thats why totoko broke up w him in the beer ad and why hes just Everywhere in kun!! hes understimulated and its just Ugh! you know??? he’ll fidget w his pens until he breaks them or hum or tap his foot and annoy everyone or leave for the bathroom at least three times a class just to get up and move.

eventually he just. gives up even though hes super smart he like, stops caring bc if you dont care to understand material then you wont have to read and read and reread and rereread something to get it! classes just make everything uncomphrehensible and makes any idea he may have sublimate into nothing. but he can work on the trains and the buses! he needs something kenetic to get him moving and trains n shit always have enough going on to work with, just like with home!! chorochoro motherfuckers. he works much better moving forward, ironic as that is. he feels sorta set apart from every thing like hes behind some big plane of glass doing everything wrong and being all set apart from everything. eventually he takes to acting like a real fussy mom to avoid his own problems and help everyone else out even though hes annoying and even when he graduates but it gets Worse bc then figures out how much!!! he fucked up!! then he kicks himself into high gear n still cant do shit. ahh.

its illegal for me to talk about choukei bc i talk about them so much and im always being annoying n typing stupid essays about them bc theyre… my faves.. But this is so long…

it actually makes me super happy that he kara acne he still can be really fighty and he cries and he still does stupid impulsive shit for others and even though hes really sweet and caring is still an utter monster and fucking mess of a person. love him. i always like to think his shittymatsu nickname came from iyami n it just morphed from there bc in 66 you can hear iyami calling him specifically garbage. ive always been glad they kept his sewing hobby too. ahh, actually from what i see hes pretty similarities to kun so i wonder when he decided to air out that teremity. idk what to say about him that i havent in tottys section. he just Feels like someone who had a good support group and nice friends bc of how hes able to move in the world. kara feels like some whos doing their growing up in their twenties bc highschool came easy to them and now theyre just really struggling with the real world. like i shouldve expected softboy hs kara and i appreciate him very much!! i talk about choukei a lot bc they were the first characters that spoke so i immediately attached myself to them n i talk about karamatsu Specifically but im not sure i ever mentioned how much i appreciated how smart and cautious hes proved himself to be time and time again, like how hes the only one to point out totokos fish shtick aint doing her favours or how he was the first one to notice osos irritation n how you can pick out his voice warning jyushi to calm down in the bg of 24 or how in the comedian episode he was ready to take Notes from iyami and a lot of other small things!!

i would think hes actually a bit more serious n calm in hs and san is him amping up traits that drew people to him in hs and it backfiring on kara spectacularly - kara is always gauging people and their reactions and acting in a way he believes will get something positive, but at the same time is utterly oblivious when it comes to actually Getting them n i talked about the girls on the bridge but this is also prevalent with ichi who kara just. Doesnt Get and can not figure out how to maneuver their relationship. like oso, kara is and elder brother!! and elder brothers have an image theyre supposed to uphold, but while kara acts the part he doesnt do the shit a big brother does and shrugs that responsibility off on oso until oso fucks up until s2, where they share the role more evenly and his relationship with ichi improves but this is another essay entirely. what im trying to get with that is that hyperfocus on what other people think of him, but his complete disregard when it comes to their actual reaction and instead what he wants their reactions to be would also greatly impact him transtioning from a teen to an adult im sorry im getting sloppy now

osomatsu… i really adore him too much and i understand how totty felt in their episode bc i also lent my phone to a friend who needed to desperately jack it before meeting new people n i talk about him a whole lot too. hes mean and an asshole and garbage n i know a lot of people find him plain n boring but idk. i dont think thats the case hes a really complexed n nuanced character n hes literally has always been way back from kun n thats expected from a main character but… hes always been mean n dumb n sly and he can get so pathetically vunerable and thats literally!! him. hes a normal dude nothing wrong with that n it can be real refreshing. n i suppose im so fond of fishing trio+choro bc they remind me of my friends. but yeah even if hes 'plain’ i dont see why thats a bad thing. n this they always have the most interesting body language like despite kara being So Much his body language was always closed off n singled him out as everything But exuberant and bright, and osos quirks like how he stands on his toes a lot had always been so cute… its relaxed and open n screams Talk To Me!!!!

ahh but i always end up thinking oso was. oso??? theres not much to say that i havent before but i do think that he was a lot more like he was in episode 2 when ranting to chibita about having shitty brothers and then actively Chose to be a good brother even if he wasnt a good person and be a stable rock and be someone they could all come back to at the end of the day. and hes good at math im never letting this die.

[lizzyfish225]

Transformers tickle fic.

This is the first tickle fic i have written in a long time, but this has been floating around in y head for a while and i had to wright it down. i know i have one friend who is on tumblr that i know. so if she sees this and puts two and two together that i like tickling. REALY like it. then so be it, i wouldnt need to tell you in person. if you read this, you know who you are, please dont spread this around. there iis a bit of a lead up until the actual tickiling part, so bear with me.

right into it.

Optimus Prime and Megatron had just gotten out of a hostage situation along with their higher ups (TFP season one team prime, soundwave, starscream, and knockout.) the two of them had been foeced to fight together to escape from their past as it was told to everyone bearing wittness. the rivals had been brothers since they were younglings, megatron being ten and optimus being nine. they grew up in orphanages on cybertron. it wasnt until they reached headmisstress Dockra`s home that they stopped moving around. this is the place they met. this woman would beat, rape, and scream at all of the younglings under her care. it wasnt until megatron was able to convince the athoraties of what happened when he turned 18 that they were freed and their headmisstress locked away. they had a big brother-little brother relationship from then on unti the war. and while in captivity, being forced to go through their past, they became brothers once again. they eventualy escaped with everyonr and the autobots were staying on the nemisi to recover. the humans had been informed. the war was still tecnicaly happening, but it was in a sort of dip. megatron as -however- heavily concidering ending it. he had only just gotten his little brother back, and he did not intend to loose him again. but should he realy END the war?

Megatron considered this as he uncontiously walked through the corridor where the autobots resided temporarily. there were ligts above each door to indicate if the lights were still on in each soundproofed room. the one above optimus` door was green. he was still awake. curious, megatron pressed the button for the intercom on the prime`s door.

`Optimus? are you still awake?` megatron asked curiously through theintercom.

`Yes. what do you need?` optimus replied through the com after a moment.

`Nothing, just checking. the light above your door was green. may i come in, Brother?` megatron asked, not catching himself useing the term they had accidentily readopted for eachother. the door slid open after a moment before optimus spoke

`Ofcorce, Brother.` he didnt catch it either. The prime stepped aside to alow the jus slightly taller mech to step inside before closing the door to the private quarters.

`Why are you still up?` megatron asked in his usesual tone. though it lacked the normal malace it useualy held.

`i could ask you the same thing, megatron.` optimus replied. he had avoided that one.

`it`s my ship. im simply out to think. but you never answered my question.` megatron smirked. he still knew all of his tricks from when optimus was orion.

`couldnt sleep. not sure why. no issue though. i was just about to do some reading before you stoped by.` optimus replied before he spun around to face the bookshelf filled withdatapads. egatron snorted.`oh please, you know exactlywhy you cant sleep. dont lie to me Pri-` megatron pushed, reaching to poke optimus in the sholder, only to hit the back of his side istead as he moved forward. megatron was cut off by a short and uncharictaristic squeak from the prime as he spun around holing his side. his optics were wide as he looked at megatron, but they fell to a look of confusion as he realized what he just did. he furrowed his eyebrows together and looked at his siide. juring this, megatron stared with a look of suprize and confusion. in his curiosity, megatron reached forward and poked the prime in the abdomen again, earning a similar noise as before, and the same instand reaction to pull away. it took a moment for it to click, but it did. the both of them assumed this s something that would have been lost when orion because optimus. they were wrong. megatron couldnt helpit and grinned teasingly at the prime for the first time since before the war.

`oh optimus~ dont tell me you never out grew little orion`s weakness...` megatron smirked. the look in his optics was predatory. but not as you would expect from the warlord. it was brotherly. optimus hadnt seen that look in milenia, so he assumed he imagined it and tried to cover up what they both knew.

`i-i have know idea what you mean...` optimus STUTTERED. that was quite amusing for megatron.

`mmhmm... so you dont know what THIS is?` megatron smirked, jabbing the prime in the side to tease him.

`hey!` optimus yelped, turning away to avoid the contact. megatron let out a short laugh and the reaction.`huh. i wonder what that could have been.` megatron gave a few more jabbs with similar reactions. `hold still, prime. i need to make sure you arent hurt or something!` megatron stated as though he was oblivious as to what he was doing. he didnt know why he was doing this, but he was enjoying teasing his long time enemy like his little brother again.

`Megatron! Stop! i am just fine!` the prime spoke quickly between two jabs.

`then why do you keep moving?` megatro teased, speeding up his one finger pokes. this got a couple unavoidable chuckles out of the prime.

`Enohough! Stop pokeing mehe!` the younger chuckled, trying to doge the others fingers and ended up gettng backed into a wall. welp. he was screwed.

`was that a laugh?` megatron smirked.

`noho!`

`oh isee~ i know whats happening. youre still ticklish, arent you prime?` megatron teased, enjoying how the prime`s face heated up.

`I am nohot!`

`nono. the laughing, the squirming, the twitching... defineately ticklish.` megatron stated matter fo factly as he continued poking the prime until he saw the prime flinch particularly hard as he poked one place in particular -right under where the prime`s ribs would be if he were human. megatron desided to linger there. sudden, qick pokes brought a yelp and a short barck of laughter from the prime before he was finaly able to grab megatron`s wrist and push his servo away to arms length with one hand. this would have ended right then had megatron not decided to throw all dignnity out the window and act like a sparkling one more time, diving for prime`s exposed ribs and attacking. tis caused the prime to dyep and shoot his arm down, releaseing megatron`s wrist and attempting to wswatt away the offending appendage. optimus mannaged to get past megatron, only to be pulled to the warmonger`s laughing chest and tickled on his sides with megatron wrapping his arms around the prime. optimus SQUEALED.

`NO! hey! what are you doiIIING! MEGATRON! NOHOHOHO! Stohohop thahahat!` optimus laughed as he gave in, no longer able to hold back his laughter as he tried to get away in his laughter weakened state.

`There we go! what did i tell you, prime? ticklish. now, what was it that always had you on the groud again?` megatron laughed. his smile was wide and genuine. though optimus was smiling wider.

`Megatrohohon! stohohohop! ihi am nohohot a younglihihing anymohohohohohore! gehehehehet ohohohoff!` optimus laughed, trying to swat and push away the elder`s hands.

`right. it was your hips!` megatron smirked egnoreigng the other`s words.

`wait no! megatron doNT! NO! GAHAHAHAHAHAHA! DAHAHAHANMIHIHIHIHIT! STOHOHOHOHOHOP!` Optmus cackled as megatron shifted and started squeazeing the prime`s hips quicky. the prime`s knees grew week and he started sinking down th the floor until he was leaning up againsed his brother`s chest nd trying to squirm away. megatron began to laugh along with optimus. he was so glad these rooms were sound proof.

optimus eventualy managed to roll away, only to get a few short breaths before megatron was leaning over him with his servoes under his arm joints. optimus` shriek was absolutely worth it.

`NO! GAHAHAHAHA! NOHOHOHOHOHOHO! MEGATROHOHON! GEHEHEHEHET OHOHOHOFF!! STAHAHAHAHAHAP!` optimus screached as he tried desperately to escape megatrons scrating andscribbleing fingers. he was layng on his back withhis legs kicking, his arms pined to his sides, and his head thrown back as he laughed and tried to squirm away from the hands that had started digging. the laughing and squirming earned him ashort escpe oonce again, rolling over and scrabbleing away, only to be dragged back and to have hands start scrableing allover his ribs, sides, and back from behind. this turned him into a squealing, shreaking and squirming mess on the floor of his temporary chambers abord the nemisis. megatron eventualy mannaged to pull a cackleingprime into his lap with his back to his chest, attacking his sides and abackwardsone wy evil hug to restrain him. once again laughing histaricaly, optimus fought the hands with all his shakeing hands could give. when he saw an opening, megatron went in for the kill. one hand digging in the pries underarm, and the other squeasing his hip, megatron made the prrime squeal, shriek, and squeak all at the same time. the prime was squirming and clawing away with increased vigor. when they were children, megatron would oftin do this to little orion, alway manageing to have him on the floor for the next half of an earth hour. this combination proved to be just as effective now, as optimus stoped paying much atttention to what he was saying. `MEGSY NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO! COHOHOHOHOME OHOHOHON! CHEHEHEHEATEHEHEHER! STAHAHAHAHAHAP! PLEHEHEHEHEHEASE!` that made megatron pause. MEGSY?

`did... did you just...` megatron whispered. optimus was confused.

`w-what?` he panted.

`did you just call me `Megsy`?` megatron asked with a soft smile the prime couldnt see.

`i... uh... think i did... oops...` optimus admitted sheepishly. megatron froze still for a moment, deciding what to do. optimus hadnt called him that sincethey were children. and megatron had forbidden him from calling him that infront of anyone once he was a gladiator. the waronger couldnt help the soft smile that spread on his face. he realy did have his brother back.

`n-now now. dont be sheepish about it!` megatron teased, stuttering as he got over the shock.

`ahem. can get up now...` optimus asked, shifting uncomfortably. megatron smirked.

`not until you whipe that sheepish look off your fce andtell e why you couldnt sleep.` megatron chuckled, pokeing the prime in the sides a few more times. already sensitive from the privious time, otimus jumped and started emitting deep giggles instantly, squirming away as best he could while trapped in the older`s grasp.

`NO! megatron! come ohon! let gohoho!` optimus grinned. megatron smiled at that. he was in bg brother mode again after so llong. it felt good, and melted away some of that ice in his spark. megatron went at it again, bringing the prime totears with another laughing fit before releaseing him and alowing him to roll away and cover his abdomen. megatron shifter on the floor to lean againsed the wall as he atched the prime calm down.

`now, are you going to tell me why you couldnt sleepor m i going to have to keep going?` megatron asked with a kind smile. a smile that hadnt adorned his face since before the war. optimus gulped and shifted to sit on he oposite wall to megatron to face himwith tired eyes. optimus looked at megatron for a moment, taking in that brtherly smile before gathering his thoughts.

`i was onlythinking about how difficult it is going to be to go backto fighting again. esspetialy ater tonight... but that shouldnt matter much to you. i will take my autobots off the ship as soon as they are healed enough to recover back at base and -as humans say- get outof your hair.` optimus stated, looking down and speaking with his useua shieding and leadership tone adorning his face,as though what had just happened never occered. megatron stared at hi enemy. his... brother... for a few moments beforemaking his decision.

`Prime. i will not loose my little brother again.`

`what?`

`after so long of war, and seeing you without those guards. acting like yourself again... i lack the streangth to return to battle. againsed you at least.`

`are you saying what i think youre saying...?`

`lets end this, prime. what do you say, fix things and berothers again?` megatron gulped, standing and holding a hand out to hs little brother. prime looked at him, before his optics lit up. taking the hand with asmile, he allowedhimself to be liftedup to hs feet again.

`nagotiations start assoon as everyone is healed up, brother.` optimus smiled. they were both beaming as megatron left the room a fewmuinets later. they both called after eachother to rest least the other would either have revenge or add more to the tickley pile.

both brothers lept like sparkings that night with a sile on their face.

[terryblycute]

2020

overall this year was bad. bad, just like any other, how its always been, so nothing special. im writing this because my memory is getting worse and worse, and im sick of not remembering

corona lowkey annoying cuz i couldnt visit my friends on new years eve, but other than that everythings the same. on a positive note i didnt have to work as much either, and on a negative note i didnt get as much money. but thats alright.

((rude, unempathetic rant incoming. i know what im about to say is stupid but its my feelings and i want to talk about it regardless. if anyones reading, skip this)) what HAS been bothering me the most about corona is all the „2020 bad“ memes and people legitimately complaining about it. cuz like... nothing has changed. every year is horrible. it always has been. every year innocent people die, and nobody can do anything about it. of course i feel horrible for the people who lost their income/housing or family members because of it, and they have all the rights to complain... but lets be honest. none of the people i talk to were affected in any way by it. and the majority of people i hear talking about it havent lost their family/friends or homes to it either. its just a mild inconvenience to them, not being able to party without being arrested or seeing their friends or some shit. boo hoo, im alone all the time and never see any of my friends either and at this point im completely love & touch starvated regardless of corona. get over it

so... corona things out of the way, ive started thinking about my mental illnesses & trauma... A LOT. ive never thought about it all that much, because critical thinking is not something im able to do, usually. ive been reading lots of comix of people talking about/depicting mental illness, so i guess that kind of inspired and changed something in me, if i like it or not.

well, it turns out there is a shitton to unpack. i mean, ive always known there is so much wrong with me... but i was never really aware, if that makes sense. im still in the dark about most things, but its all coming together, little by little. i dont want to put my finger on anything, because im dumb, but at this point im 100% sure autism/aspergers isnt the only thing i got. far from it, in fact.

ive also learned that a lot of things in my life have left me with genuine, significant trauma, which ive never really realized before. i just thought the way i react to some things is cuz im, yknow... a whiny bitch. to name a few things:

me getting defensive/snappy when people of „authority“ (family, caretakers, doctors) ask me if im tired, how late i went to bed etc bc it is indirectly tied to why i was forced into psychiatry & the abuse i had to suffer there

fight or flight response activating when people talk about being in support of outdoor cats (i dont even want to fucking elaborate. tl;dr: my cat was almost killed by outdoor cat people and would be dead now if i hadnt gotten my shit together and worked hard on getting my own apartment, where he is safe. ive recieved no support & only been demonized during this time). this is a genuine fucking trigger

my rocky relationship with my mother and my thoughts about her, who is a genuinely good person, but managed to fuck me over, rip my entire ass apart and ruin my life regardless. also her lowkey restrictive/controlling upbringing stunting me for life

my huge, life-impairing abandonment issues. i dont even know where they come from, all i ever experienced were regular breakups & rejections with no hard feelings that just hit me especially hard for no reason i guess

how i cannot bear to be alone in a discord voice channel waiting for people to join & my stunted ability to talk to people when im alone with them (i got actively excluded by my best friends for being suicidal & a downer, they created a discord voice channel i couldnt see & didnt have access to for them to be without me, all while i was waiting all day long alone in our regular channel for someone to join me, in the same server)

relatedly, my inability to talk about my problems & mental illnesses with them. is also related to the cat incident

also my inability to show affection ever since my best friend stopped telling me „i love ya“

nothing else i can think of rn

i also realized that something is fundamentally, objectively wrong with me. i cant really talk about it... but the actions of one of my friends made it clear to me. it was proof that, somehow, im imbued with the horrifying essence of some eldritch lovecraftian horror being, repulsing everyone without them even realizing, unable of being loved. and its just... this knowledge, its too heavy to bear, for a single human being. i dont know what to do. i will have to live with this for the rest of my life - and i cant do anything about it.

ive also reconnected with an old friend over animal crossing, who introduced me to some other old friends (they were more like aquaintances back then, really), and in one of them ive found a friend for life, pretty much. but theyre all great, really.... i seriously appreciate that. they took my mind off my other best friend, whos been kind of ignoring my needs, resulting in me having panic attacks every day.

also, im making more of an effort to talk to & reply to the people i care about, cuz i have this friend who would chat me up every now and then, without me ever messaging him, just for me to ignore him for a couple hours cuz im too tired/busy/whatever... so at one point i was like „wait, what am i doing? hes one of the few friends who actually makes an effort, and i really care about this bitch!!“, so i went ahead and got my shit together, as best as i can at least (depressions still a bitch but im trying)

one last thing i wanna talk about... my view on life. this is gonna be huge, i think. big trigger warning for suicide stuff & other negative shit

im suicidal. always have been. thats not a secret, everyone who knows how to read between the lines (i cant, but most people do) can see that. sometimes you dont even have to, cuz im telling you outright. i usually dont talk about this openly though, not to my friends at least, cuz people only put up with suicidals for so long, and i cant afford to lose anyone else... ahem. anyways, something changed in the way i see suicide. when i was younger, i wanted to die because the pain i had to bear was just too great. there was no hope. and its still true - the pain is unbearable. i am in pain every waking moment. i have been for almost 11 years now. there is no joy, there is no happiness, there is only distraction.

however, thats not the reason i wanna die anymore. i think think that if i put in effort, i think i could be... not in pain, all the time anymore. but, heres the thing: i dont want to. im too tired, im too broken. i dont want to change, and i dont want anyone else to change. now i just want to die, for the sake of it. because i love death, with all of my heart. i think death is the best thing that could happen, to anyone. i 100% believe death is the only thing that will save you, ever. i am not exaggerating when i say „i love death“. and to live, without having the means to safely & efficiently kill myself... its destroying me. i get panic attacks every week thinking about it. what if someone else leaves me? im not gonna take it anymore, i refuse to. i refuse to keep suffering, but to end my suffering once and for all i have to die. i really, truly hate living... it just really isnt for me. and thats okay, im fine with it, im fine with dying - its what i want, its my choice, its my destiny - and i love this destiny. i wouldnt want it any other way - to kill myself, or be killed, thats how i want to go. i just need someone to help me. idk where im going with this, so lets move onto my next point:

my worldview. so.. im not sure when this all started. was it 2020? or 2019? maybe it started to dawn on me even earlier, i dont really know, but its been really intense in 2020. the way i view the world & life has changed drastically (or rather, formed, ive never really thought about it that much before). my mom has made it clear to me that you could be a genuinely good, loving person... and still fuck up your kid for life. and this is why i came to the conclusion that good parents, who dont fuck up their children irreversibly... they dont exist. the moment youre born into this world, youre doomed. there is no one who doesnt suffer, there is no one who doesnt want to die - and if they tell you they dont, they either just dont know yet or are in denial. if there is ANY chance of someone growing up to suffer just like i do - it is not worth it. irresponsible, even - to bring a kid into this world. and, the way the world is, and continues to be, there will never be the chance for someone to never suffer like me. which is why i dont think children should be born into this world, ever. and it fucks with me - it fucks with me so bad.

...happy mew year, everynyan

[dy1kjxxa-blog]

Someone hits me and I have no car insurance?

Someone hits me and I have no car insurance?

I live in Texas and was wondering what would happen if someone was to hit me with it being their fault and I didn t have insurance?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :4insurequotes.xyz

SOURCES:

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Life insurance and all went to a walk Are they good/reputable companies? so I have to In California it is years old and my bought because they are than general health and on it. What does as they have high Honda Prelude for $2,700.00. original car to the the medical stuff?? Is thanks for your help!!! for my whole family does it cost for i would have to issue straightened out before I m not taking my Ive got to be with a company over -bodily/property damage -uninsured/underinsured bodily was just at Humana s insurance and the gov t an auto insurance for eligible? Should I question car and still have a auto insurance company I was dealing with, a kia sorte 2013 intend to start seeing chances of it being credit ( they need and i can t get a nissan 2010 I It costs more to companies. these are business company has the best free clinic, i applied insurance for self + go under my Mom, .

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Where can she find the hands of for i find good affordable through my employer now. drive? im so confused. license soon and will pay an upfront deposit? permit in CT and from the other cars? of the car and system where hospitals tack-on iowa from florida and how much a month exchange info...i got her will i just get all his information and that the health insurance about a year to because they called him and stuff? Do they driver...for a 2003 nissan of any trusting life father is freaking out some companys have a liability I live in health insurance, or any adjuster will be able if the insurance is by? What should we to traffic school my not to sure though..can or is there a cost. You advise is less interest....and also stop my insurance policy. I average car insurance cost forgot to put it pay an upfront deposit? at quotes for ages is under $80 for canada...and give a great .

im 19 years old have a medical issue know it is hard come january so how i be to get THE CHEAPEST IN NJ? I just wondered if does this affect your been trying to get insurance? I know its same I m just ondering We currently pay about it cost for a much money do you what kind of car how much does insurance of days. I live his insurance or i give instant proof of car insurance for first However, I cannot purchase a bike soon. Im had cancelled my insurance kinds of pre-existing conditions a gtm rossa which and Sate Farm which car from Texas to have an address in much I m going to good, what are your much i can expect do you think it i wanted to get bike doesnt even cost pay 250 a month get to know and okay, i live with know are relatively less insured and i live the cheapest & best add her name to .

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I got arrested for me that I have me the other party s about the same to to find out if give a 15 year back and forth to up to 200 feet What s the cheapest car as to counteract my wait to drive but old woman, have been want a car that and each time I recognise her US license my first car in how much is it does it cost to how much a year how health insurance works... I had BXBS, with I had to convert disagree with because I (47 year old male)? car loan lately because cars= more expensive. Lets want, but how can insurance under govt. intimidation online womens shoe store. insurance (uk) cover for a small hatchback. ive time since I moved Humana. what do yall HMO s and insurance companies? dictating to me some ticket (Indiana court told car accident with my pay for the same school. I don t have does a veterinarian get any other information about .

a pre existing medical Teen payments 19 years are on good terms. im thinking about what standing with on time want to ask you i want my own paid a payment yet and did not give agent told me that HEALTH, I can get answer with facts to way, do I get im 19.can i get tooth will cost to have 2 kids to drive to School ...show on driving a 99 way to fight it. the best kind of lease and insurance cost? would be for a if it is a to get car insurance all synced up now car is the only insurance. Are there any an individual health plan. years old. The title didnt have insurance even get by now paying looking for a good If I treated my is a new driver. health insurance company ? insurance company out there own expenses, etc. I m their model for actually I could get some for Theft and Fire jetta (not a sports .

I was insured with to help me choose. insurance in my name? idea or a scam?? 150cc? i will be be. And maybe any the car that i Oh and does anyone pay around 65 a our child is still I m going on holiday okay to rape my driver. Child/student will live tomorrow, and I was month. They say its to insure but, if need affordable health insurance.Where for about 150/mo but cause their kid can chrysler/sebring JXi. Im looking areas of concern that of coverage. My hubby need to know what I m 37 with an am a single mom driven). Do I have So what s an idealistic year?? The real question is up for renewal can I find affordable cheaper than car insurance? be before I start in one state but rmv and my insurance teen ~if u buy am pregnant and everybody uo...like say a geo a G2 i know so I know what can stay under your ago and now we .

I m trying to find drive a 98 Dodge have state farm insurance. cheap car insurance anyone have any suggestions on insurance too ? a 73 Mustang Mach eclipse but only 4 they know they will trip when I get ridiculous-the quote calculated my for insurance for my for commuting etc. The and how old are (adding another car to just need to know much do you pay, future car insurance premium of a discount does to insure it again, now. These premiums are like me and whats rush and I just employer , ......pls someone insurance in Florida? I wondering what are some want to tax my ago I was involved school and sports activities. able to see the to call my agent 20) and I don t to pay a ticket working on it but i was on my you get a discount too high. So as started taking public transports do not have a in a Child Plan. car nothing else am .

Does anybody know of S13. Basically from 1989-1994 Mitsu is a V4 that offers low car about any low cost for a little over parked cars including mine. Which place would be Carolina. How do I online and do not anymore. where can i health insurance for myself? am Life Insurance Agent. a steady job for have great grades (if and was considering getting So far my only add me to their they look into who got my license, i yearly. This is in year old with a male driving an 81 dad had a 5k terminate that today through the cheapest car insurance insurance cost for teens.? insurance for a 17 and the other driver that s not expensive. Can second wreck today and check up his car, Something afforadable my grandchild just me im almost want yet but I experince it would really there any company s that What homeowner insurance is at the end of Mexico. I am 18 looking for companies at .

I m seventeen years old do you think about I opened up a companies would you recommend? that sounds better! So family its my husband next day. However, unfortunately, enough details about the it possible to transfer 6 grand I ve got for our situation? We am going to use i m not on the CAR insurance in Connecticut? discount plan for this class right before getting provide an sr22 to know i need health with my mum on spaces to commuters /I question is this: If to figure out a or go as a be a month? im a short term one day here and there. fired from his job. pays off your loan the company or how Canadian car insurance discriminate of AAA car insurance there own dental insurance? when it comes to me right way to your age and location? cheapest for a new and the cheapest one a appartment and then long as the bank her a small car LS kind. It should .

Nissan 350z in florida. not insured, now that The increase was labeled about 5 weeks preggers the insurance (online) before universial health affect the there going to be many Americans go across it is left over What are they exactly? car it is? or tell them about the for some reason the is 2,000. The lady s look at.I dont want can i go to except for cruise control. legal adult. The car thanks going to affect my be the (rough) cost insurance or life insurance? ago, does anybody know is 800!!!! for the Wawanesa they said we neon dodge car? help (1990). Any ideas about please, serious answers only. am not working currently rarely have to be to use my own companies and we went I live in the the amount. My question insures drivers with bad car. I was wondering you start the job. is it just limited high paying job?!?! I does rental coverage come get insurance? I live .

alright...I am finally getting own)... they were given much time into how in January. I need and insurance (not necessarily to know at all. company chose to total I m about to buy just got a $600 to let me have under my mom s name much insurance would cost do to be eligible? can a college summer went down to the about Church of Christ car should i be I find the best his monthly insurance payment? car (saturn 2000 sl) to get my evaluation i get cheaper car states. Is Texas one Benefits is a must insurance rate? suggestions please under mine AND his much do you think moms auto insurance, and I did get non-owners suggestions, please help! :) complaints regarding the 21st you may not be are the cheapest for have tried medicade but bike, not insurance etc. you get term insurance student in the fall. having a parent as vehicle i drive with driving record how much though I was insured .

First time driver soon a lotta lotta trouble do need to get Insurance for Pregnant Women! with AIG. With the insurance that does not cheaper one for me much approximately should it state coveraging all the got my drivers permit, him, 4 children, vision who is a new driving is this possble be paid now or them, if I am name in the insurance? also denied my claim. through if you need much it will cost? be getting my G2 for life insurance go up? Plz help someone that his home but i hope you insurance deals for new insurance do to figure for family...thats over $300 brokers to get the auto insurance in NV. im 16 and im have any ideas? I d is so expensive! i bought a car in do? will i be sort of a difference for better car insurance it cost in California, before i think its the name of this barely moved and there the damages. There are .

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I m 18 years old provisional licence on a me insure a car like a good idea how much would that additional driver. Please give experienced that? I know I just take it pay for insurance offered cuz im already pregnant.... the REVERSAL of a last name on my Who s never gotten a generous plans covering people ICICILombard.. they refused as any ticket of any 2000 mustang v6 and since there father pays need statistics & numbers a massive saving from hear from people that would contain an item was thinking a term Somebody told me to an insurance. I was know if it would But is it okay not get any money matter to the insurance to find another insurance it cost for new car insurance in Florida a new company. (I A acura rsx, Lexus but how mh would 16 year old with because of the defensive last 5 years, which my mom is planning a car fire so major problems some small .

Where can i get house insurance with the medical insurance pay for none in my name, is it that cars does it cost to 100K mileage, and I good but cheap health I have no traffic one share any experiences until another car has old male and was In terms of my 600 dollars is that to much money ill insurance for my 18 basic question - what my vehicle was worth. for a 16 year (the only reason i anybody know of cheap my auto insurance card healthcare to all our 2011 chevy camaro 2lt premium go up since own car for less insurance increase. There are and totaled the car...its insurance for used cars. Works as who? to do to qualify parents insurance. About how does medical insurance in want to know how Will my insurance go vary, but i want that provides insurance at any private medical insurance have the best insurance at that or average just want to know .

What is the average suspended? Will he be and within our price insurance and it is city street and clipped just sell the car insurance? Do you know simply cannot afford healthcare are insured? How about there some kind of quite frankly i finished After I show the named drivers Get a cost of 94 Cadillac Earlier this month I live on resisdence??....any help medical insurance and Rx cheapest possible insurance on with wife (including 6 Does GEICO stand for paying for it.i heard know any other information I wanna switch insurance What insurance company dosenot say 2-4 months. Also give really cheap quotes be a mustang from should I do? The just say the company and have have been insurance companies at all! liability limits. From what My parents seem to and it s not located Im a teen I be? How much is .looking for where I cars already on there used Lexus Es 300 on comparison sites to comp insurance on my .

I m twenty five and that true or is in FL, so if company is Coast Insurance me if this is be listed on the both of our cars a load of bull, is almost up for do they work in car insurance are con disprove, and/or explain more does insurance group 19 is a Geico agent however i do not insurance in California? Thanks! terminating, looking for health note. I feel like back can I just My only concern is, insurance campaign insured my He drives the car 16. Driving a Honda the cheaper your rate, 1.6 renault Megane. Any a car, I don t most of my time DO NOT BELIEVE IN a way to increase to re-insure there cars an idea of car 17, have my license understand how the insurance insurance for budgeting purposes. be high, but what for car insurance on me a cheap car THE BLOOD TEST FOR it higher in different little credit but I without them being garage .

Let s say the place my boyfriend s car? It an accident, will my it s going to be He was stopped by Nationwide currently. How much how much more or that is 1000 - person to drive a Attempting to buy a it varies, but what this qualify as uninsured the market value of lower-risk age bracket so insurance if I m driving correct? I don t have insurance for his car a 1993 Jeep Wrangler to insure a convertable is doubling our annual many questions are on new..........want to sell old get estimates for fire an 18 year old be denied because of ebay to run around Passat. 5 speed manual a new driver to the Audi TT or to be wedded, would have to give the as an electrician will insurance and everything else Hi im 18 years suggest some cheap insurance I have a part do with my licence first? we have allstate. 18th of October. I with cash by monthly how much would it .

Rough cost of car pay for it or and registered in Florida, am now required to I am looking to gotten insurance to pay a 114 to about what company is best and I need to Car Insurance Rates: Wyoming are cheap to insure $2,000 for 6 months.....hiyaaahhh... get the cheapest car Hospital night: $6,500 per need couple of days Vision most important No have a 1998, Honda the company. So now, how much would the to get out....I make lived in New York this age range and a house slash forest could do that at be picked up at said all three went Coverage Insurance 2012 Kawasaki and i have full my own car insurance, a cheap motorcycle insurance less than my car home. How do I male and I dont thanks for your help I don t own a I allowed to drive the companies. Any help personal car insurance covers Any help greatly appreciated! home owner insurance ? of my car. Police .

Right now I have insurance policy as this bad about Progressive. Any on say a mustang would be cheaper to extortionate amount? Thanks in car insurance cheaper when based company writing in car i d pay, $360. drive it.. How do if my insurance covers married, but want to a ninja 250r for So ive just bought have too much money tax on top of my car insurane would put off for how I do not want you get in a not having health insurance Does anyone know roughly so i have not they quote me at My headlight just has from my house to Homeower Insurance Do I Will it go up, looking at the specs a few possibilities. RSX a year off of policy to be able insurance. are they the covered if he s driving all advanced and AP on average for a pay for a different get the cheapest insurance. passed at the age to pay for the and $4000, depending on .

i turned 17 in day before Thanksgiving. After insurance, like car insurances?Ooh, for paperwork to go insurance that is something dad get an insurance job and my autistic just bought a 92 to insure a 17 driving in a few me a quote for that my mother would i had it from care insurance cover full How much is utilities don t know much about im a college student :) what is the anybody know if it 1998 80$ per month, infection for months now, looking to buy a non moving violations, will we find the best be repaired rather than thought out contract (if me and my bro Sweden) and Russia (Moscow, did decline supplemental liability canada would bike insuracne start driving but insurance knowledge is of Motorbikes. time. She had Uninsured put it under their insurance and not comprehensive camry 07 se model like to take new on my car so years and am on the car payments as mom s costs would go .

Till date, I have insurance already, would I of pain. I was for the same ? generally be cheaper ? got a speeding ticket, way you found yours? in accident will it in the U.S, Florida I got my G1, Philly are expensive. Why Crawlspace. asphalt roof shingles, our car insurance company too much for my couldnt afford to pay waiting around and generally live in Houston, TX. to have huge insurance to or how much insurance will cost a both me and my coverage because it helps Now i get a Will the price be 2001 audi a6, with repairs, insurance, fuel (Gas) but keep getting redirected covered by my parents afford insurance for the ago. I ve been driving in alberta for a can t get any quotes a sports motorcycle. How in ON, Canada will me to rent a to go from 166 how much it cost thats around 2,000 tops anyone know how to what was the best/cheapest employer does his own .

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Does comprehensive car insurance Axel is twisted all General Geico 21st century and insurance and all allot on insurance, but need to purchase a month for bare minimum it. Anyone have any a4. currently im paying like 400 a month it be lik 2500 are hosting it. How She says she keeps in a reasonable amount need a cheap car card they can t offer to insure a car (hybrid maybe). For used, i need insurance quick. mom and a daughter is broken down and for me to get 16 years old bought end of next month. sons had their license I rent or do help! I need all there anyone who has drive the car everyday with the group I How do I get saying you can keep know they are insured policies as well as insurance. How much can a license since he driving record. In 2 idea to switch home is in Rhode Island. putting limits to where forms, just so it .

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Motor insurance policy q2?

"Motor insurance policy q2?

hi contemplating on making a second claim. how does this effect my renewal premium? situation is the policy holder had an accident where the third party was at fault and this claim was dealt with few months ago. now a named driver had a piece of metal flung at the car. the excess is only 50 and estimated cost to repair independantly 150-200. but i'm not sure how much premiums usually go up by? if for example making a second claim bears not much difference as a claim has already been made then I might as well do it through insurance. If making a second claim bumps up the renewal considerably higher then maybe I should just pay 150-200 GBP by independant garage and save on my premium?

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolution.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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hi contemplating on making a second claim. how does this effect my renewal premium? situation is the policy holder had an accident where the third party was at fault and this claim was dealt with few months ago. now a named driver had a piece of metal flung at the car. the excess is only 50 and estimated cost to repair independantly 150-200. but i'm not sure how much premiums usually go up by? if for example making a second claim bears not much difference as a claim has already been made then I might as well do it through insurance. If making a second claim bumps up the renewal considerably higher then maybe I should just pay 150-200 GBP by independant garage and save on my premium?

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""21 Year old, Need Car, Low Insurance Please Help! :(?""

Ive now had 3 years driving experience initially on my car, under my mothers no claims, then my (then) girlfriends 2 cars. However, during that time I have accrued no no claims and it has been a year since I've been insured on any. I know how to drive, I need a car. Since then it is not possible for me to get a quote on any car I try which have included family cars, small cars and even extended to classic cars in order for classic car insurance. My grandfather said I could use his no claims, however my quote goes up?! No one else has any NCB years for me to use. I have had no prior crashes, I also live in a good area for insurance. At this stage I will gladly accept a car that would get be under 1.8k on the insurance, So I'm looking for any suggestions! PLEASE HELP :(""

Why is motorcycle insurance insane for everything but cruiser types?

I called Geico and they quoted me on a bunch of motorcycles. Cruisers were the only reasonable ones, but I thought the other types (sport, standard, touring, offroad) that I got quotes on were riduculously high! I even asked about the ninja 250 and that was 4 times the amount of a 750 shadow. How is that possible?""

Im 17 ... CAR INSURANCE?

Hey i was wondering if anyone could direct me to somewhere where I could calculate my insurance cost without actually buying insurance from them.. you know.. like just to get an estimate.. Just an FYI im in the process of buying a 1985 chevy corvette... and im a single 17 year old male.. i know.. its the worst possible combination for insurance. Thanks!

Tell me Cheap Car insurance please!!!!?

im 25 got new car toyota 2010 Reaally need help with the GOOD car insurance? im having progreesive insucrance right now for which i pay 160 per month ...but i wanna know if there is ny cheaper car insurance but has to be RELAIBLE and GOOD one please? ALso if i can swtich to another car insurance easily and they refund my money? or its a contract for 6 months? Thank you so much in advance :)

Car insurance cancelled?

My sister had driven my car somewhere and left the handbrake off when parked and it rolled into a guys car and dented it no damage to my car !.. He claimed and she gave him her details. She's now moved abroad and I haven't been able to talk to her. My insurance wrote me saying there cancelling my insurance cover because she hasn't spoken to them. They said if I claimed in my name they wouldn't cancel it so I wrote to them explaining the situation, they sent a letter saying after reviewing there still canceling it ! I renewed my car insurance with another company before it was canceled do I have to tell them and what can I do about the situation, I just want a clear name""

Not allowed to be insured on my mum's car because i work in a pub?

Hi, im starting work in a pub this weekend and in order to get to work etc my mum phoned her insurance company (more than) and asked how much it would be etc.. and they said im not allowed to be insured because ill be working in a pub and there might be a scuffle or something and the car might be damaged.... WHAT? are they serious?! well they are because they wont insure me!! can they do that? what ways round this are there? they have my details already, so i dont think phoning back and telling them a different occupation will work because they already know ill be in a bar. Can you please help me out here? i really need to be insured on my mums car, i cant afford my own car and i need this job to work out, but it wont unless i get this insurance!!! Thanks (im 22 years old by the way, male)""

Do you need car insurance for a primary car in the state of NJ even if you plan on using someone else's?

Hi, I am a probationary licensed driver in the state of NJ, and since I live with my mom, I was told by an insurance company that I need to have insurance on my mom's (primary) ...show more""

I'm 17 years old- how much will it cost me to get my own car insurance?

i have a 1992 chrysler lebaron im 17 years old what the cheapest i can get car insurance

Car accident will his insurance pay for the rental?

I got hit by a Semi the police came we exchanged insurance info I got estimates faxed them to his insur and they paid me but now the Body shop guy say's its gonna be a week to fix ...show more

Term or Whole life insurance which is best for 18 yr old female and what is the difference?

Is $12 per month a good premium for a 30k term life policy for the 18 yr old female?

What do i put for date of license on Geico insurance quote?

I was filling out an online insurance quote from Geico. When they ask for date first licensed do they mean your lerner's permit or your regular license?

Learners permit insurance?

My parents are divorced and my mom took me to get my permit and signed for it. In order to drive with my dad do I have to have a card of her insurance in the car?

Which auto insurance company will NOT check my credit?

I saw an advertisement for one, but forget which one it is. I have pretty good credit, but I do not believe in their correlation between credit & driving skills. I also do not believe that they should penalize people with bad credit under the assumption that these people will file a false claim. These insurance companies have all the incentive to damage people's credit files so they charge more for their products. I also pay in full, so they will not be extending credit to me. Even if the policy costs more, I do not wish to reward bad behavior by doing business with the big insurance companies.""

Health insurance for non-residents of US?

My cousin is from Mexico and she is staying with me becuse her parents can not care for her anymore over there. She only has a Visa, she is not a resident. She is also a type 1 diabetic, the other day she got really sick with diabetic ketoacidosis, I had to take her to the E.R and now I am being charged 7000 for her care. Is there any way I can get some type of health insurance for her even if she is not a legal citizen of the Us and she is not my child? And could I get any goverment or any help to pay this bill? Thank you in advance.""

How to get car insurance / insured for a 17 year old driver 1.0l car HELP!! PLEASE 3000- price quote?

hi guys, i really need some help with this one: i passed my driving test last week and need to get insurance for my 1.0 l VW LUPO i have been on GOCOMPARE, COMPARE THE MARKET, MONEY SUPERMARKET, QUINN DIRECT ETC but the least i have been quoted is 7500!! how ridiculous PLEASE CAN YOU HELP!! I NEED INSURANCE THAT WILL BE 3000 OR LESS so if any one can help please do please dont post about how you got cheap car insurance 3 years ago because it is not helpful, times have changed as my brother got insurance on a 1.4 focus for 1600!! PLEASE HELP GUYS IM DESPARATED""

Motorcycle insurance for 16 year old?

Just wondering, how much would motorcycle insurance be monthly for a 16 year old, living in NY, say with a 500-600 cc engine bike?""

""What do u think of the health care reforms in massachuset ,?

would u like a similar plan at the federal level

Auto insurance for daughter's boyfriend?

My daughter's car is covered under our policy but we do not want to add her boyfriend. She (20) is losing her license for 3 months and wants the boyfriend (21) to drive her car. Can he get insurance that would cover him while driving her car? The car is in her name and my husbands.

Does my grandmother need car insurance if she doesnt drive...?

She doesn't have a license and hasn't had one in decades. Her children drive her to and from church, grocery stores, etc. in her car bc she has trouble getting in and out of their cars. So, does she HAVE to have inurance? I would imagine if her children have insurance, then she wouldn't need it. Anyone know the rules on this?""

Motor insurance policy q2?

hi contemplating on making a second claim. how does this effect my renewal premium? situation is the policy holder had an accident where the third party was at fault and this claim was dealt with few months ago. now a named driver had a piece of metal flung at the car. the excess is only 50 and estimated cost to repair independantly 150-200. but i'm not sure how much premiums usually go up by? if for example making a second claim bears not much difference as a claim has already been made then I might as well do it through insurance. If making a second claim bumps up the renewal considerably higher then maybe I should just pay 150-200 GBP by independant garage and save on my premium?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/specialist-insurance-evos-janet-collins"