#i didnt like that. they need to be killed lowk

[chair002]

BRO CHAIR I WATCHED THE SUPER SECRET GEAR VAULT VOD. now i can't stop thinking about stupid temu eclipse federation (okay i dont watn this name to stick but that is their tentative name for the sake of this ask) something has awakened inside of me so here ARE ALL MY THOUGHRS 

i can't believe i havent watched this ever until today. this is targeted losers propaganda im not even joking. im cheating on spacewaffles today because what is this. what is it

there are so many good losers moments i wish i could talk about them all but. i honestly have no coherent thoughts i just hate them and need them dead also think they should kiss but that’s an issue for another day "you can't even make me mad today" "yeah? i bet i could" <- like wha t was that . what was that

i NEEED TO GET TO THE MAIN POINT OF THIS. okay theres no main point im just gonna dump everything here

LIKE FROM 40 MINS ISH AND ONWARDS AFTER PLANET LOGS ON?? THE WAY MAPICC REACTS COMPARED TO BACON??? 

bacon: good news though, i think i built the door mapicc: okay that’s not important if he’s gonna jump us. look at me? here. 13 gaps, the goodie bag i gave you has some pots in it bacon: oh. like i’m not worried though! like he wouldn’t come and kill us, you know? mapicc: yes he would. yes he would and he probably will. bacon: you think he will? mapicc: yes i think he’s on his way. let me get some harming arrows ready. ummm let’s see bacon: alright chat, hey. he might come and jump us but what’s really important is the friendship. just our general outlook on life is what’s most important. and if we stay positive, there’s nothing he can do that can hurt us!  ... mapicc: put down my goodie bag and put some pots in your inventory just in case bacon: okay… but then that would mean i’d have to get rid of my—mapicc: just sacrifice like 6 inventory slots it’s really not that deep

okay whats intersting to me is. why is bacon being so weirdly optimistic about planet. does he still. slightly believe that planet wouldn’t jump them because of their past friendship

like idk?? how'd u interpret what he meant in his little monologue to chat. "if we stay positive" what is this bullshit coming out of your mouth bro. what are we saying. 

ugh its just something about bacon choosing to believe in planet and mapicc NOT. it just feels. so? bacon is clearly not Thinking this through despite being the Thinker of the two. bacon being so chill about it and trying to change the topic to his STUPID PISTON DOOR??? pushing aside mapicc Who is Clearly worrying and trying to prepare him for pvp despite bacon not wanting to take redstone stuff out of his inventory for god knows why. 

bacon is just so detached from the idea that planet could jump them like i actualyl feel unwell. like is the thought that painful to you? is the familiarity of trust, despite knowing that it isn’t there anymore, easier than accepting that planet will kill you with No Hesitation????

even assuming that planet wouldnt go to the extent of turning their outer layer off like. the remnants of trust from s4. (and calling parrot planet’s name by accident because it just slips out. remnants of love shown through habits. aren’t habits and routines like the biggest representations of love ever because they’re built over days and weeks of just being around each other and doing things WITH each other. i’m sick) despite being jumped at the beginning of s5. despite planet saying "keep the diamonds so i can kill you later". bacon is PUSHING IT ALL AWAY like Stage 1 of grief is denial.

losers but bacon isn't over his ex best-friend* (*ambiguous) and will never be. lmao!

okay small aside. mapicc being like ill just shoot you a fire res made me think about "sharing potions are we? gayyyyy" from planet in the planetlord duel vod and i giggled to myself a little bit. losers… I know what you are. 

anyways mapicc literally. leading everything when they’re trying to find planet. bacon just sits back says nothing in chat just listens to what mapicc wants. does he not want to confront planet like this? so he lets mapicc do it for him?

until. until bacons like oh planet’s being so silent he’s usually mr yapper then "im trying to speak to [planet] in a language he understands" and it’s a language from their past. stupid keyboard smashes. that really hurt not gonna lie

AND OFC MAPICC WANTS TO DROP DOWN DESPITE THE POSSIBILITY OF PLANET WAITING DOWN THERE WITH TNT MINECARTS AND OFC MAPICC WILL JUST TRIPLE GAP AND HOLD HIS SHIELD AND BE SELF SACRIFICIAL 

of course planet is there and of course all of bacon's believing was Wrong and of course mapicc was right 

yk losers have really been on my mind lately since recently with the wardens. this is making it Worse. i kinda died a little bit when mapicc got up at 4am because bacon called him to help him w fighting subz. it's you call i answer (even though i hate u and you’re a dumbass dipshit asshole and annoying). fuckkkk like yeah they hate each other and get on each other's nerves but when they lock in... they Lock In. 

mapicc's "the tables turned" line in s6 i think might be The Line about this trio. mapicc being the one to deliver the killing blow on planet during wormhole. mapicc being the one to protect bacon from planet in s5. mapicc being the one jumping bacon and planet in s6. the tables turned. oh how the tables turn. and they revolve around bacon actually!!! 

but why do they revolve around bacon. Is The Question. in his words he’s always the one being jumped. 

mapicc: i get planet– i don’t know. i get why he did it. bacon: why did he do it. cause he was bored? mapicc: yeah playing on 20 hearts, i don’t think you understand bacon, playing on 20 hearts is so fucking boring.

this part intrigued me. even after all of that shit and a wasted stream and mapicc calling planet annoying probably a good 10 times he still… is able to empathize with planet? over heart count specifically. and the “i don’t think you understand bacon” part. there is something here i cant connect the dots.

i dont knowwwww does it stem from the mapicc being the one to kill planet 30 seconds before the wormhole timer ran out. the one to kill every bit of hope they had of Winning. of being victorious for once in their lives. was mapicc not just the killing blow in terms of wormhole but also the killing blow for planet and being weak? the final straw before planet decided to go on their s5 20 heart arc? it’s like. mapicc passed a torch onto planet. and those two understand power in a way that bacon will never. which is why the trio is the way they are. 

me: oh i’m bored. Lets watch this. i was then shot 57 MILLION times

okay fjnal note the thing is i don’t know eclipse fed lore well enough (I am a fake lifesteal fan…) to fully understand why u called them temu eclipse fed so i’m also curious about that 

HAHAHA YESSSS ITS WORKING!!! MY EVIL PLAN TO MAKE EVERYONE A FAN OF THIS TRIO...!!!! its such a fun vod i love the losers & planet in it so bad im glad you enjoyed it!! the boy best friends ever. everytime i think about the sharing potions line i think of the image of the guy in the zoo throwing a rock at an elephant going 'gayyyy'. dont worry you cant cheat on spacewaffles with losers because bacon has two hands <3 sooo glad i got you into this swamp

hmmm that speech about friendship is a little funny. i think for sure bacon has a lot of sympathy for planet still, even after he becomes the way he is in s5. because that's still planet. and this is relatively early in the season so of course there are some gears in his brain left unswitched. you know how we talk about planet keeping habits from season 5, maybe bacon also kept habits from season 4. season to season teammate switch is often very drastic.

planet is also very interesting, because like yeah, he's bored and he's always bothering losers. sometimes he kills them, but sometimes he just hangs out around them for one peaceful moment. and i love this, because from planet's video, we know planet is lonely, and this is true overall but it’s a little funny that for the sake of the video’s point (being powerful on lifesteal makes you lonely) losers barely show up, even though he spends a lot of time with them on steam. right before the duel he calls them 'my best friends on the whole lifesteal smp' which is clearly a half joke, theyre about to fight to the death, but also not. because spoke told him, when you become powerful, all ties are cut. i love watching him through losers pov this arc so much because he's ruthless and cruel to them but he acts friendly, because they still are friends in a way. bacon is definitely still a friend to them, its not like PLANET is the one getting mad at bacon. to planet hes still the same bacon, and mapicc might as well be a friend too with how much they spend time together. he's merciless towards them but still very much a friend.

mapicc is like. he hates planet i think, but there’s also mutual respect. They get each other. there's a funny s4 chat message i love that just says '<Mapicc> PlanetLord i hate you on a personal level' and thats BEFORE all this shit happened, but also planet & mapicc are in many ways similar, not in their attitude or personalities but in their, like, position i guess? the position of the tables getting turned, around bacon, yeah. mapicc's mind is completely unclouded when it comes to planet, and he is better at chasing people down no matter who it is. bacon's best bet when fighting planetlord is to talk to them because that's one thing he knows best, and also it's planetlord, but when they dont wanna talk and instead just want to kill, well, what can he even do realistically? just sit back and try and listen to mapicc.

to be honest i have never thought about the fact that it was mapicc who was the last person to kill planet before he decided to become powerful but now that you say it ohhhhhh this makes sense. this makes so much sense. Im gonna be thinking about this. The last hit and the biggest loss of season 4 was by mapicc’s hands, and so him getting back at mapicc, now that HE’S burdened with the responsibility of being weak and being with bacon, makes a lot of sense. Probably not intentional but there has to be some sort of catharsis in doing all that after being enemies with mapicc for so long.

dude have you seen like. the clip where mapicc & zam ask bacon if he can call mapicc cute and bacon is like ???no and mapicc goes "is planetlord cute?" and before bacon can answer he goes "who's cuter, me or planetlord?" and after bacon refuses to answer and he calls him a little bitch ;like ????? what is this beef ?? if i were mapicc though i’d be angry too imagine you've given this guy everything he can ever need and more for a season straight and you ask him if he likes you or the Guy who maimed you with knives and logs on once every 3 months and he cant even answer... maybe bacon IS a little bitch

I think my favorite mapicc + planet moments are when they’re with bacon and, even if they dislike each other, they just click instantly simply because they want to make fun of bacon as much as possible. Like s6 day 2 when bacon says ‘how are you blaming this on me?’ and planet replies ‘ummm because its fun?’ and mapicc chimes in going ‘it IS fun to blame bacon isnt it!’ just setting aside all differences to psychologically torture their best friend. The goddamn 20 hearts prank?? The fact that he called Planet (& spoke) up, and was like ‘hey, i need you to kill bacon like 10 times in a row, think you can do that?’ and planet was like yeppppp lets do this bestie. Thats hilarious. but also so deeply fucked up of them. both of them just watched him scream and rage and threaten to kill himself as he kept falling down from the island onto Planet’s sword frantically screaming ‘yesss kill me more, keep killing me! I dont even care!’ and neither of them were like hey arent we going a little too far. 

Also, never not thinking about the fact that the only times bacon has been at 20 hearts were because Mapicc just gifted them to him. youre SO right about the 'you call i answer' because when Wemmbu was humiliating Bacon during the Quickdrop Daycare stream he asks if anyone is going to get his stuff and no one responds, so he calls out mapicc by name, and zam laughs at him and goes "bro thinks it's season 5!" and then. then mapicc just listens to him and actually attacks wemmbu and tries to get his things back. of course mapicc is the first person he's asking, mapicc will always help and he knows it. mapicc is always there and he never refuses to help anyone he's on good terms with, let alone bacon. this has always been the case but this season especially, he's just so completely selfless. he does so much for other people, including bacon, it's actually concerning. when he saved Bacon & Hannah's things from spawn he didnt quite get everything so he literally stood there in front of Hannah and, my jaw dropped to the floor here, said "sorry i couldnt be more helpful". like ARE YOU SERIOUS? YOU ARE LITERALLY MAPICC. YOU ARE THE MOST HELPFUL PERSON MAYBE EVER? you logged on when they asked, got their stuff after they died, almost got killed in the process, and YOU are standing there APOLOGIZING for not being helpful?? are we serious? 

i called them temu eclipse cause it's just a trio that's kinda like a car crash but you cant look away it wasnt a serious comparison to be honest LOL i just thought it was a funny thing to say

this is not even character analysis anymore im just yapping and fujoshing out. Thank you for the ask juyo reading & writing this was awesome i loooove yapping with you we should set up tubes between our brains to get c!bacon thoughts delivered to each other at a faster pace