#i didnt get past it cuz i got bored

[cheolinnie]

Feel Me

Requested!!!

a/n: he's so... perfect 😭

smut

a/n: i didnt propery proof read cuz i really want this to be published ~(>_<。)

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT ANON!!

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You've always been a supportive girlfriend; you attend all the concerts, music shows on your days off from work, and not once have you ever complained about Taeyong's job, because you know how hard he's worked for where he is today, and how much he loves his job.

But every once in a while, you throw that huge part of yourself out the window.

It's the times when you have to come home to an empty apartment, sleep in a big ass bed all alone, watch boring tv shows that Taeyong always finds a way to spice up with his jokes- its the only part of his career that fills you up to the brim with frustration.

Because aside from missing his warmth, and his overall prescence around you, his abscence also leaves you sex deprived.

"Fucking tour," you mutter angrily as your eyebrows crease together, your body desiring pleasure that your fingers just aren't bringing you right now.

"Fucking idol career," your middle finger teases your entrance as it circles around it, but honestly you're feeling a little hopeless because no matter how hard you can try and fuck yourself, it'll never compare to Taeyong's slender fingers, lenghty cock, or sinful tongue.

But still, you try; thumb rubbing over your clit, you push one finger in slowly. A soft gasp leaves your lips, and you give youself sometime to feel it, get into it, but- nothing.

"Oh for fucks sakes-"

A sound like a groan mixed with a high-pithched, frustrated, squeal leaves your throat as you roughly flip youself onto all fours on the queen-sized bed, the black comforter already all messed up becuase of all the squirming you were doing earlier.

Grabbing Taeyong's pillows, you position the bottom one on its side underneath you, the edge sending a shiver down your side as it brushed your sensitive clit. The top pillow, the one that still held his delicious scent (and the one you've been cuddling and sobbing into for the past week), you place where you imagine Taeyong's head would be as you ride his dick.

All that's left is hearing that raspy, sultry, sexy voice of his that could turn you on like the flip of a switch.

By the time he answers you'd already been riding the pillow harshly, hands gripping the sheets beneath you tightly.

"Hey babe-"

"Fuck Taeyong!" you moan out loudly, partly annoyed he took so long to answer, and also relieved you could finally hear his voice.

There's rustling on the line, and you imagine he's scrambling around for a quiet place becuase just those two words you moaned out, already has him rock hard in his pants. You wonder if he's wearing leather pants, because damn, those are suffocating, especially for someone like your boyfriend who gets very sensitive when he's got a boner.

"Shit baby- what if i was on the speaker phone and the guys heard you moaning like that? hm?"

Your head shaked as if he could see you, whimpers filling his ear the most definately have his eyes rolling to the back of his head in bliss.

"Tae, want you, need you so bad right now..." you rock yourself on his pillow, dipping down to burry your head into his other pillow to deeply inhale his scent.

The line was quiet for a while, and you just know he was palming himself over his pants at your whiney tone. He always liked when you whined, but his favourite? When he fucks you so good, tears start pouring down your pretty flushed cheeks.

It drives him insane; the thought alone could make him cum immediately.

"Baby? Are you riding your pretty cunt on my pillow, like i told you to do when your horny, hm?" his voice dropped several octaves lower, and you were able to soft gasps from him that just made your head spin.

"Ye-yes Tae... fucking your pillow right now, can almost feel your cock filling me up."

A groan sounds out from the speaker, "Fuck baby, im filling you up so good yeah? like I always do hm?

Nodding your head hastily, you moan out as your pace increases, Taeyong's words edging you towards the release you desperatley need.

"Can you feel me, angel?"

"Fuck yes Tae, can feel myself clenching around you..."

Another curse from your boyfriend, followed by a couple of lovely moans that bring your ears so much joy. Closing your eyes, you can imagine him alone, still standing but leaning against a wall, one hand stuffed into his pants as he strokes himself, fingers grazing over his tip that was leaking pre-cum, as the other hand clutched the phone tightly against his ear so that your moans could be the only thing he hears.

"Taeyongie." your voice was deeper, signaling that you're about to say something that might just make him cum straight away in his cargos.

"Can you feel me? My lips kissing your pretty tip before I take you into my mouth, sucking and licking up all your sweetness..."

There it was- Taeyong's knees buckled, and he had to catch himself before he slid down the wall.

"Fuck baby, fuck... are you gonna cum for me? you gon' make a mess all over my pillow for me?"

You throw your head in pleasure, your knot just mere seconds from from exploding as your fuck Taeyong;s pillow, your legs beginning to feel numb and shaky.

"Yea... gonna cum baby."

The raspy groan he let's out is what inevitably makes you burst, your orgasm washing over you like the walls of the world's biggest dam breaking open. The loudest moan leaves your lips, and that very sound, as it reaches Taeyong's ear, is what has him cumming in his hand painfully hard.

"Holy fuck-"

For a few minutes it's only both yours and Taeyong's heavy breathing, each of you trying to come down from your highs.

Taeyong is the first to break silence.

"You better send me a picture of the mess you made on my pillow."

A classic Lee Taeyong line, and like always it has you dropping your head as giggles pour out. One of your favourite things about your boyfriend, is that he always finds a way to make you giggle like a school girl after having just pounded into you like a madman mere minutes ago- it was somewhat endearing to him.

"Yeah? for what would you use it bub?" you smirk slightly as you pull on your shorts before snapping a picture so you could dump the pillowcase into the washing machine.

He scoffs. "Uh, to help me jerk off later? I still have another two weeks without my baby."

A heavy sigh leaves your chest as you toss the case into the washer, a frown forming on your lips. "Don't remind me please."

"Don't worry hun, becuase as soon as i get back I'll strap you to my thighs, and you'll get to ride me and feel me all night long..."

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a/n: WOAHHHH lets take a step back for a moment.

this is by far the longest thing ive written, i think im gonna have to take a break from writing smuts cuz damnnnnn

a/n: yall sorry for any spelling mistakes

[zikkytheblicky]

ofcc!! srry this is late.

☆ for my ml, angel anon.

(NON-BLACK PEOPLE DNI. THE SLUR IS USED MULTIPLE TIMES)

⊹content warnings⊹

(don't scroll past this, it's important since i changed up gojo n’ geto + readers attitude 😃)

- both gojo and geto blasian so dont be surprised if you hear suguru’s racist comments and satoru and suguru js speaking ghetto ☠️..

-feminine male reader- anon didnt specify but id they want me to change this i will make a separate post for them 🫶🏾!!

-black reader cuz angel anon is black.

-not smut nor fluff.. i forgot if this type of stuff is called lemon or lime! sorry 😭💓.

-reader gets kinda aggressive im ngl to you like he did not take gojos little antic lightly

-kinda made reader gojo n suguru ghetto. idk i didnt think ts with much thought

-gojo tries to get his lick back, forgetting you were a real 🥷🏾 despite being feminine. he needs to stop playing with m!reader fr

-you’re very spoiled because i’m a SUCKERERR for spoiled reader x jjk character.

-this is not proofread i’m so sorry 😭!! + i did this like at 11-4 or sum

-sadly anon didn’t specify if they wanted top surgery reader or not so to be safe i’m just gonna say he does!!

-use of you/your pronouns except for when gojo is yapping/complaining to you’re brattiness to getou.

-no sourcerer au.

-rich gojo (SHOCKING 😨)

a/n: i hate this piece it sounds so tacky 😭..

♡︎NOT CAPITALIZED ON PURPOSE !!

to say you weren’t usually bratty is an understatement— it rarely happens unless you’re joking or you’re being bratty towards someone else not gojo.

it all happened first, when gojo took you to get your nails done and you didn’t give him your signature move for when he gives you something you want— pulling on his collar/tie and kissing on his cheek along with a sweet, “thank you satoru ! i love you! see you later!” or something along those lines— you instead give him a mere glance and a dry, bored “bye, gojo.” before walking over to your bestfriend(s) who were also getting their nails done. and by the way you were giggling into your palm when you thought satoru left shows you were trying to get him riled up.

satoru thought it was cute ,

at first. then it started getting him annoyed and a bit triggered.

and what does he do when he doesn’t agree with something you do?

…

obviously don’t tell you about it and instead goes to bother his best friend- suguru- about it instead.

“he’s been acting so bratty suguru. i remember when i got him his favorite color of glittery roses and all he did was say a dry response like, “oh thanks, gojo.” HE DIDN’T EVEN SAY SATORU OR A PET NAME RAGGHH” satoru screamed out into his phone microphone, his eyes puffy from all the fake crying he did earlier.

“don’t you have work to do? also he’s just going through a phase satoru, you’ll live.” suguru said dryly, the sound of the clicking of a keyboard and the sounds of a pen being smoothly dragged across a paper filling satoru’s apple headphones.

“you wouldn’t understand suguru..” satoru whined, blinking his bright blue eyes at the camera. His pouting lips sucking up the last bit of juice from his drink.

“all you have to do is punish him y’know?” suguru muttered, he shuts his book staring at satoru with a disgusted face. “Ew . stop pouting your lips while making fuckin sucking motions you look like a monk.” suguru sniffed, grabbing his bonnet and putting his hair up.

“i dont wanna hurt himmmm-“ satoru whined, ignoring suguru’s racist comment.

“not like that, durdur.”

satoru could practically hear the roll of geto’s eyes as he saw the younger dark skinned man pick up his phone and turn off his camera- most likely about to get ready for bed- it was 11 am after all.

“in a sexual way, nigga.” suguru mumbled out, the sounds of crinkling sheets flowing in and out of satoru’s ears nicely.

“oh my god… suguru you mastermind.” gojo smirked, grabbing his macbook and opening it swiftly.

“jesus christ what are you gonna do, satoru?” suguru asked with a sigh, rubbing his temple soothingly- he sounded so tired of gojo’s antics.

“ight so the plan is..”

it is late. you just got home from an interview of what life is like being satoru gojo’s husband— you hate those types of reporters. instead of worrying about what the content of your creator was, they worried about your status. oh, how annoying they are.

you kick off your jordans, rubbing your eyes gently- thankfully you didn’t put on any eyeliner.

you head into the first kitchen on the first floor, went into the pantry and took out a fruit snack before you head upstairs- when you were pulling up into your driveway all of gojo’s cars were in his drive so you know he is home.

i’m surprised he isn’t cuddling up on me already.. You thought with a snort, twisting your curls in boredom.

your curls bounce as you skip your way up the carpeted stairs, entering you and gojo’s shared room.

“satoru-.”

there, you say your husband in a thin, silky robe, nike pro boxers on, his 24 carat gold stud earrings glistening in the low light the seeped into the room, a thin 24 carat gold necklace, and slides on. he was at his desk, typing away on his phone, he didn’t even notice you until you cleared your throat, crossing your arms over your chest.

the albino haired man lazily turned over to you, a bored look on his face though you could see a faint smirk on your husband’s face.

what is this nigga smirking for ? you thought with a scoff, your slippers making loud noises as you walk over to him.

“oh. hi, ‘mn’.” satoru’s tone was bored and disinterested, he went back onto his phone and started typing quickly. and he had such an excited expression, a ghost of a smile on his lips like he was trying to hide the fact that he was more interested in whoever he was texting instead of you.

and that pissed you off. like who the fuck is this nigga talkin too that catches his attention more than you? his boyfriend ?

that damn phone i'm about to throw that shit.

“satoru.”

no answer.

“satoru?”

no answer again. who the fuck was this negro on the phone with?

“SATORU-“ you yelled, pulling his ear out from his bonnet- being careful not to pull his earring out. sure, you were annoyed at him but you aren’t going to hurt him.

“what the fuck- what? damn.” gojo groaned, putting his phone screen to his chest with an annoyed glare.

who the fuck does he think hes talking too?

“nigga who do you think you’re talking to? i’m not the one stop trippin’.” you crossed your arms, releasing satoru’s ear.

“what did i even do?” satoru responded too calmly- the fucker had a visible smirk on his face too.

silence .

silence is what you “responded” with before smashing your lips with satoru’s, grabbing his white dreads and rubbing his scalp gently- completely opposite from your prior action.

satoru’s tongue licked almost every corner of your mouth, tasting the bitter vodka taste left in your mouth.

you both pulled away with a string of spit following each other's mouths.

“don’t dish out the heat if you cannot take the heat back, darling~!” satoru purred out, grabbing you by your waist and pulling you into his lap.

you tsked in response, resting your head on his neck.

and maybe later that night satoru punishes you by forcing you to cockwarm him for an hour straight.

(you failed after 10 minutes.)

ts is short asl ik but like 🙁

[blood-grove]

The Hunt

Masterlist

part 1 -> next hunt

x tws; violence , blood , injuries , gore , slight suggestiveness , sickness. <- more will be added possible depending on the part.

x pairings; soap x male!reader (😲)

x characters; soap , ghost , price , gaz + (others will maybe be added? idk ive never written a whole lot of characters cuz i get confused in my own head)

a/n; i may make art for this series! and i will also possibly making art for my merfolk au.

Alarm bells rung threw out the small town the yells and panicked cries of the townsfolk as the huddle and ran into houses under carts under anything.

You let out a amused chuckle that came out as a growl to everyone else.

You were admittedly showing off a bit more than usual today pushing your self up with another flap of your wings as arrows shot past your head.

Christ John had to get better aim.

You dove letting out a bone shivering roar it was getting boring doing the same exaggerated display but it paid well.

John or Soap as the guild nicknamed him all those years back was your very lovable boyfriend.

To say what you both did was wrong would be true.

If it didnt bring so much coin.

Slaying dragons was a respected craft and admired by many and all, The demand for dragon slayers was high since such a feat was beyond dangerous and mostly ended in death.

Dragons were usually hunted by groups who set up traps of sling shot nets , big crossbow contraptions meant to pierce threw thick hide and scales.

But Soap didn't need of that,

Not when he had you.

Speaking on which you felt something dig into your side as you let out a fake cry of pain as your turned away from the village you couldn't hear anything they were saying from up here but you could imagine Soap's heroic rant as he chased after you away from the village a few more arrows stuck too you as you decided to close your act for today.

A final dramatic cry as you dived down intentionally losing control as you crashed into the ground.

"Hey?"

A few taps to your face.

"Heyy wake up bonny boy"

You grumbled huffing.

"C'monn- You need to get up so I can pull the arrows off ya daft-"

You peered a eye open to him shifting as you got up shaking off a few branches and leaves from your head.

"Ye wanna know what name they gave ye today?"

You grunted as you got up shaking off any remaining stray debris before laying back down as Soap went to work with tugging off the arrows from you they never pierced your flesh magical properly imbued inside of them made them stick painlessly to the target more like tracking tag than real damage arrow.

"White Death, Ah think that's cooler than yer lest name na? whit wis it again.." Soap pulled off another arrow storing it back into his quiver.

White Death certain was a better name than your pervious infamous nicknames.

"Ah I remember was it Snow Scales or Ice Lizard-" Soap grinned as your growled looking away embarrassed.

Soap chuckled.

"I got 300 coin from you today- We could head somewhere nice grab some pastries from that Village a bit west I know ye loved there cinnamon rolls."

The suggestion had you perked up at the mention of the sweet which Soap grinned at.

"We should get all washit up na? Ye juist haed tae land in the mud—"

You flicked your tail at him sending him off balance and falling back into the ground as well as yo letting a raspy soundalike laugh.

Pushing your claw against the amulet that sat tight around your neck it glowed for a moment before you started to shift and change shrinking as Johnny complained about getting his satchel and clothes dirty.

Once it stopped glowing you were human size albeit a bit taller than Soap, You still had some draconic features your eyes still dilated into slits under the sun, Scales around you arms and back that were easily hid with clothes and gloves, and horns that were luckily short enough to be hid with hair or hoods.

You walked over to him holding out a helping hand only to be yanked down onto the ground by him.

"Payback-" Soap flicked your forehead as you huffed.

"Whatever you're not the one that takes the daring crashes and falls in out little acts-"

Soap just rolled his eyes. "I never said 'Oh and at the very end make sure to get covered in mud!'."

You huffed flicking his shoulder as he grinned as he retold his fake little heroic story he told to each village rambling on about these couple of cats he saw as you just listened fondly.

You visited villages with him sure when you were in your human form but it just always made you feel antsy the odd stares you'd get were enough to make you visits to cities, towns, and villages very sparse.

Soap had noticed of course the observant caring bastard that he is and wouldn't stand for it of course not forcing you but you both went out for little walks, for supplies, and for getting you and him clothes and gear.

That's what you loved about him, He brought you out of your shell his voice and mannerism really just made a part of you melt.

To think when you both met when he was going to kill you.

a/n; not very confidence in this but i wanna commit to it </3 my nerves r all over the place makes it hard to write.

[missn00tson]

Am I the only person that hated s4 of tua?

Look, i am a big fan of the series, and I was so happy when the new season came out.

And s3 was a bit long for me, in the sense that some scenes were boring, so I wasnt too unhappy with a shorter season.

But what was this

Spoilers for The umbrella Academy season 4!

First of all, the whole Five and Lila relationship.

They are platonic friends, like siblings. Who thought it would be a fun idea to make them romantic all of a sudden?

"Oh, but they got stuck in time for 7 years its only natural"

You have to be shitting me.

I've been celibate for over 7 years, you think I'd date my brothers WIFE if we spend time tgt for those years? No. Fuck no.

It doesnt even seem to click with Five's personality, because he's so insanely loyal and caring towards his family. He would not do that, if we were to follow his personality from s1 to 3.

This brings me to Ben.

I have never been the biggest sparrow Ben fan, I'll admit that. I've always been an umbrella Ben fan and sometimes I wished sparrow Ben was more like him.

So you can imagine, I was happy when he started to appear more caring for Jeniffer.

Until they totally switched up his character.

Yes, he was influenced by the bond (which reminds me of the whole nesting situation of the last episode, which I must admit was very entertaining) which made him more loving yadaydaydaya. But everyone shows their love in a different way, sparrow Ben' type of loving is in no way shape or form sweettalking and grossly cutesy forms of affaction.

You might think so (the writers apparently did) but I surely disagree.

So his personality was, as you might guess, also out of the window.

His talking brings me to my next point. The dialogue.

I'm not sure if its just me, but it was so.goddamn.messy.

It was no dialogue, it was just a bomb of one liners aiming for nothing.

It had no feeling, no personality. Its as if the writers saw the one liners we liked, pasted them into an ai engine, and let it spit out 100 new ones to fill the movie.

I would like to give specific examples, but it happened all.the.time. If you dont believe me, watch the last episode. The only in character person was Victor (even though he's not my bestie, I loved that they stayed true to his character) with wanting to save his siblings, standing up to their father, wanting to keep his peace but always choosing to help his siblings no matter how much they hurt him in the past.

He was the only one who felt like the same person as the other season. Even Reggie was a goddamn mess (and thats something to say about that uptight bastard)

Now this part is purely personal. But the plot? The scenes? The entire construction was such a mess.

First of all. 7 years in that station? 7years? Youre telling me that super smart old man Five didnt think to look at those lines first before stepping in that train? You think "I must know everything and enything about everything and anything" Five didnt look up, took a good glance at those letters and knew. "Mhmm. Thats that weird writing my father used. How bout I try to TRANSLATE it BEFORE i step on this mystery train?"

If you think him stepping on a random train, not even looking at the map he picked up is in charcater? Sincerely, quit shitting my dick cuz no way you think that.

And then him giving up on finding his siblings? He was in an apocalypse for what? 50 years? And he always kept the stupid eye, thinking it might save his siblings. And now, here he is, giving up on them cuz he' a lil lost in daddy's train station?

Babes, you cant be serious.

Im aware that this post is very opinionated, and perhaps negative, but thats just how itll be. But if you feel offended by anything here, I do apologise. I love the series aswell, but his season, felt more like a 12 year old' followup story of season 3 (and that is not to say that 12 yo' cant write, cuz some of them r amazing, but you get the idea) and I cant believe they actually funded this.

And that is not to start about the decisions they made. Ben making them drink the marigold? Five not just going back to that moment if he could time travel (which he coulve bcz him and Lila went back to the "present" which is 7 years earlier than when they were stuck). Then stop them from drinking the Sake/Marigold. Merging the marigold with Jennifer and everything is fixed? Bcz they didnt have their powers anymore?

Either way

I might follow up on this, I might not.

But I do hope that some share my opinion, even if many dont.

Bye loves!

[bigbumder96]

my review on the original heartbreak high + the characters after watching like 2 nd a half seasons😈😈😈

spoilers below‼

the original is so much different to the reboot?😭 tbh the first season was very different to the rest of the show aswell as the reboot, but the only similarities i feel like they both have is that its took place in the same school and some (2💀) of the characters are in the reboot some way or another

overall, i do like the show. more than the reboot??? maybe, maybe not, idk😰😰😰 but its very well written in the sense that all the characters are insufferable, but you still feel pity for them and have a soft spot for them until next thing you know, theyre number 1 on your favourite list for the next 3 episodes until they do something crazy and slide all the way down to the bottom🙁

the storylines are actually really interesting, although i just know the writers are starting to run out of ideas. like theyre averaging around 40 episodes fkr 7 seasons there is NO way its gna be interesting all the way through💀 although i could be surprised, i was only bored in the first episode or two, because it has a bit of a slow beginning. infact i started this tv show ages ago but i never got past episode 1 until now😭

one problem i do have is the normalised large age gaps😨 like a 30 year old will date a 17 year old and nobody bats an eye... a bit scary tbh😞😞😞 they do still have storylines about how bad large age gaps are and how they're creepy but yk... hypocrisy is a real disease. im not too surprised though, as the tv show is based off a movie, called the heartbreak kid, about a romance between a teacher and her student. not so funfact: the teacher was called christina and the student was called nick. they were both played by the same actors as nick poulos and ms milano in the tv show. ☹

my opinion on the characters:

THANKFULLY they decided to keep this relationship out of the tv show. that doesnt stop the teacher x student relationships though😰😰😰 like the whole mr north - rose thing seemed pretty one sided on roses part thankfully, but he was still a nonce. like wdym u got a 17 year old pregnant and thats why you dont want to date rose? shouldnt the age gap or the fact shes your student be the reason??? then you had a 30 year old picking up con from a highschool, where she tells him he would look 'sexy' in a uniform, which just screams red flag, plus southgate and george (2 adults) knew and didnt gaf??😭 omg need i remind he was basically 🍇ed by lucys mother in the catering episode🙁 dont even get me started on sam and rivers. like he started harassing her which is horrible, but then she keot defending rivers and eventually started liking him back??? and when the students find out deloraine fired her they got mad at deloraine??? do they not care shes basically a nonce😥😥what even was the moral of this story because it was so icky... and then they run away together.😐 one storyline that highkey made me sob was lucy and her mums bf. im so happy they portrayed this in a negative light, cuz the scenes made me so uncomfortable. lucys actor is incredible tbh, this storyline was acc so sad☹

sorry for ranting, im just so mad about these😭

nick: he actually used to be my favourite, but at some point he became such a dick. like i still have a small soft spot for him because he was really nice at times, but him cheating on jodie was probably the final straw for me😭

i still absolutely ugly sobbed when he died🙁 tho

jodie: i didnt like her at first for some reason?? i dont know why???? shes actually really sweet, and probably the most open minded character in the whole show. nit at all relevant but she lowkey gives off gothic vibes😭 anyways someone find her a nice supportive boyfriend or i will date her instead. tbh tho, her and nick were cute while they lasted. also she is acc such a good singer and rapper omfg.

i also love the friendship she has w rivers and steve. like that is the perfect definition of platonuc boy and girl friendship where you can be close without catching feelings with eachother. like cuddling the homies. like kissing the homies goodnight. idk man my point is that some trios do work😋

con: probably my fav character !!! he was also my dads favourite too (my dad used to watch this when he was younger) 😭 he has a very likeable personality icl, although i feel like he lowkey has a lack of storylines. idk why, it just feels like they never give him any important storylines which is kinda sad😞 one storyline that he did have was the one with rose and jack and OH MY FUCKING GOD I GOT SO MUCH SECOND HAND EMBARASSMENT. like con, ily but asking rose to marry you was NOT a girlboss move🙁 anyways dare i say he has adhd. people might disagree, its just a headcanon (although he is adhd coded. quinni may not be the only nuerodivergent character in the hbh universe..😈)

steve: i used to hate him because i thought he was irrelevant and treated danielle horrible, but at some point in season 1 the episodes got very steve-centric and he grew on me sooo bad.😨 istg tho, there was a certain point where he could not catch a break and i felt so bad😭 like imagine ur parents divorcing and becoming homeless because none of them wanted you, and then finding out youre adopted??? crazy. imo, id say he had one of the best written storylines in the tv show, but i think thats just because i lowkey related to him.😣 like the depression arc was real (that aint even the part i related to💀) anyways hes also vv funny, and i know he dies and im already grieving him despite not actually getting to that part yet☹

danielle: i mean shes okay???? i liked her at first iykwim but then she became kinda annoyibg nd rude😭 shes fine now, but i still dislike her. however, im kinda curious to see how this drug storyline works out, as the writers seem to do pretty well with all of danis storylines. ive not gotten to this bit yet, im just kinda curious😞 however, i dont know if shes pro choice or pro life and ots scaring me...

rivers: idk, i mean sometimes hes tolerable, and other times hes just a knob. i do feel bad for him though, he went through some shit🙁 he was kinda creepy at times tho, ntm the racism and homophobia...😰 i can sense the character development though, like the difference between him in season 1 vs now is obvious ! i do dislike him quite a lot though still.

the whole thing with sam is so icky though😭

rose: icl, i loved her. she deserved to be in the show longer. i thought she was incredibky delusional though, like first that pedo mr north, and then jack? except the crazy part was that her delusions were right😥😥 i was extremely oblivious to the fact jack liked her back, but yk, never underestimate the power behind teen girl magazines😈 the whole thing with the baby felt realistic (i think?? idk ive never had a teen pregnancy before) amd i thiught it was all executed pretty well !!! plus tess was really cute😭 it would be cool if tess came in the reboot as a teacher or something!!

icba to talk about every single character, so if perchance anybody wants to know how i feel about a certain character/storyline please ask! my box thingy is open :))

[kosmicdream]

MORE NEW DOLLS! .. and actually some old ones that i just never took pictures of.

so, i have tried to buy some used old MH dolls in the past (before g3 came out) but i always kind of like.. ended up wishing i’d buy the dolls new instead.. and so i stopped, but then recently i just impulse bought the two freaky fusions (at the top) because i was very curious on how the dolls looked irl.. And yet again i kinda just wished i got them new LOL but i did get them very cheap. Freaky Fusion Avea Trotter: I love centaurs. I thought she looked weird. Mine didnt come with her wings and some of her accessories, and her face is a bit scuffed up and she has loose joints. But i also am like!!! A centaur doll is so cool!! At least mine still can stand on her own. Also she had pretty bad glue hair but i mostly cleaned it out. Freaky Fusion Bonita Femur I really seem to like the freaky fusion line apparently..??? Anyway i got her as another impulse buy because shes like?? A skeleton and a moth?? I liked her weird body mold. Mine came with clothes that didnt belong with her, so i took them off anyway bc the main thing i liked about the doll at all was her body mold. Mine had very tangled hair, but basically no glue seepage problems. I think her wings are ugly as shit. Freaky Fusion Frankie This doll is actually the 2nd MH doll i bought.. LOL.. i just really liked the design with yellow. Mine came with the absolute worst glue hair ever and missing accessories.. Someday i might.. Try to buy her new, i dont know whyi like it somuch. I often see people mock this dolls design. Photo Booth Ghouls Draculaura She actually came with the frankie in the same lot! And is my first draculaura doll. I think her dress actually belongs to Hauntlywood Operetta. Its badly ripped in the back. Ghoul’s Alive! Frankie Stein

She smells like Las Vegas.. And is my first monster high doll! Her dress was just given to me by a friend and not the one she was supposed to come with. I literally just wanted her cuz i thought the light up gimmick was cool??? But she feels terrible, smells terrible, cannot move at all. Mine can still light up tho and make noise, so there’s that. STINKY!   Ghouls Spirit G3 Draculaura I bought her too. Tbh i kinda am like, she is so boring and her dress is basically paper thin material, i hate her plastic giant pompoms. Why the fuck werent they just cloth. But i got her anyway... i guess!

[raisinchallah]

b'elanna torres!!

First impression:

i really liked her! i watched like the first season of voyager after finishing up ds9 i thiiink i watched it with my dad and we stopped cuz we were somewhat bored and burned out on so much star trek (we had watched thru all of tng and ds9 in quick succession) and she was one of the only characters that made an impression on me and then i met a friend who loooooved voyager and i was like talking about it like yeah it didnt really click with me give me some episode recommendations and also maybe emphasis on b'elanna episodes so i watched some of his favorite episodes and then specifically the b'elanna episodes and loooved extreme risk it like did something to my brain and made me cry and i got really attached and decided to seek out all the b'elanna episodes i even braved the terrible evil forums that spent all their time talking about how much they hated janeway and b'elanna to get lists of episodes they said had too much b'elanna in them and to avoid and added them to my to watch list and then had a good time watching the b'elanna episodes i then went back and actually watched most of voyager...

Impression now

i still love her perhaps not as much of a like brain dominating i will draw a million pictures and think about her 24/7 type way that i did when i was 18 but she means the world to meeee made in a lab for the sad girls who dropped out of school for realsies <3

Favorite moment

oh god this is so hard i actually havent rewatched a lot of my favorite episodes in a long time too personally significant but i do adore dreadnought where shes like arguing with herself and trying to outsmart herself very fun but also like so many important moments in like barge of the dead

Idea for a story

hmm well ive tossed around this idea in my head about like seven and b'elanna get stuck on a planet filled with ancient machines that like gives seven a kind of ghostly computer virus in her brain from the ancient machines and they have to work together to like fix it or trapped in weird cave system together and b'elannas maquis training comes into play and idk scenarios that lead to them opening up and sharing parts of their past they dont explain to other people but with a weird sci fi horror bent to them and confused sense of self vibes :3c

Unpopular opinion

i actually have no idea what an unpopular opinion about her i have is cuz i only talk about voyager with a tiny group of b'elanna enthusiasts and like it seems like in the larger fandom unpopular opinion is like i think b'elanna is a good character and then within voyager fandom unpopular opinion is like i think tom and b'elanna should get a divorce and then im like wow i love the agreement the meeting of minds amongst the b'elanna enthusiasts of tumblr maybe just i am less enthusiastic about tom harry b'elanna seven polycule and more enthusiastic about tom and b'elanna divorce court but idk fjkl;a;jkflds i support polycule believers love is love but also just i do enjoy making jokes about the divorce court

Favorite relationship

i really like the bits we see of her friendship with chakotay like i would like to know more about their history in the maquis and trust and loyalty they have theres a lot of interesting things to dig into along with them being the only maquis members of the senior staff and so on a lot of cool things one could theoretically get into but also shout out to seven and b'elanna weird lonely women who also kind of hate each other yet are very similar theres like so much you could get into there i like to think about it even if its just from the few snippets here and there we have..

Favorite headcanon

i think that she fixes weird machines in the holodeck out of the way tom thats her massive never ending tool box with various tools from different planets and eras so she can fix up an ancient vulcan hovercraft or whatever

[cadaverousdecay]

hiiii leaf hi helloooo !!!!!! (⁠灬⁠º⁠‿⁠º⁠灬⁠)⁠♡ this is a free space to tell me about your favorite fictional characters from any type of media and/or where you would like to live if you could live anywhere. im bored and you always have interesting things to say <3 (no pressure 2 answer this. its just in case you feel like talking to someone)

hiiiiii nico!!!!! jumping up and down like a kitty cat <33333

well i really like the character spike from buffy the vampire slayer. looooove characters who were meant to show up for a few episodes then die, but instead became a fan favorite and got put on the show as a regular and end up as the most beloved character to a good portion of the audience (see also castiel supernatural and barnabas collins dark shadows)

[spoilers for buffy ahead]

but yeah spike is great, he came onto the show as this badass punk vampire who loves his vampire wife with the most gothic devotion imaginable. cuz at heart what motivates spike and always will is his passionate love. he is self described as “love’s bitch”

anyway, when the fan response gets back as being crazy abt this evil vampire character the creator of the show gets pretty upset cuz he has this thing about good and evil and vampires are supposed to represent evil and be metaphors for problems you face and not supposed to be sexy they already had one sexy vampire and that was more than enough etc etc etc. but he didnt kill spike off. he decided to bring him back to the show

but if he was gonna bring him back and the audience was going to like him, he was gonna have to ‘humanize’ him more. and so he comes back and hes cringefail<3 hes shed his hard shell a little and just becomes this pathetic little guy <3 he even has his traumatic past revealed <3 hes still an antagonist, but then he gets a chip in his head that makes him unable to hurt a living person. and so we have the wonderful arc of “not actually reformed or anything but he’s kinda on our side sometimes i guess?”

and in that time where he cant be his bad old self and is working with (sorta) the main gang, he develops feelings (his biggest weakness) for his mortal enemy, the slayer, buffy. he tries to push them down, then just. deals with them in the most fucked up ways. hes just a fucked up little guy who doesnt know how to deal with his fucked up feelings, hes just like me for real,,,, if tumblr existed when the show took place he would be reblogging “the enormity of my desire disgusts me” and cannibalism-as-a-metaphor-for-desire shit probably. anyway

vampires in the buffyverse dont have souls (there are some exceptions) but spike, even without one, decides to better himself for buffy. and eventually not even to be with her, but just for her. he protects her when she doesnt know it and he doesnt get anything out of it. he protects people she loves because he knows it would hurt her if they got hurt.

he may not be human but his humanity is astounding. anyway, there are definitely slip ups, and writing choices i dont really like, but eventually he decides to make himself something buffy could really love, he decides to go through the excruciating process of getting a soul

and he comes back with his soul suffering bouts of guilt-ridden male hysteria. love to see it. (hes also being haunted kinda) he delivers this one monologue in a church about his soul and guilt and forgiveness which ends with him embracing a cross that seers his flesh. most iconic scene, i memorized it also. for funsies.

then theres this whole sleeper agent murder thing and he thinks hes beyond saving but buffy wont give up on him and her faith in him helps him make it through. in the end, they have moments of reconciliation and spike never believes that she actually loves him but her caring for him at all is good enough

anyway. hes just a really fun guy. theres a lot to him. his characterization can be comedic, passionate, heart wrenching. he contains multitudes. he contains soooo many issues too, i want to study him under a microscope <3 but yeah. i love this weird little vampire from my shows

[vigilantaes]

name:   andy

pronouns:  she / he / they. whatever vibes i give u

preference  of  communication:  discord but i'm slow and busy to reply LOL my bad. its the adhd

name  of  most  active muse(s):   cass! im probably moving my wonder woman to a sideblog here tho cuz i miss her. also looking into another character to go w/ scoob's sandra... stay tuned.

experience/how  long  (months/years?):  like my whole ass life.... i think i literally started rping on wizard101. tumblr wise tho i belieevveee 2015ish? give or take

platforms  you’ve  used:  besdies online mmo games, i started more serious literary rp on devi.antart. got on tumblr a few years later and thats my fave to this day. not a fan of discord rp

best  experience:  man there were so many... obligatory best experience being meeting my fiance on here or whatever. imma be honest i wouldnt have mentioned this if kat didnt also almost forget and put it on her's GEHSUIEGSJKHDG but my best muses were probably when me and her were writing shin.obu and ka.nae from demon slayer. still am obsessed w/ those portrayals. probably my peak. had an insanely popular tsu.yu from b.nha blog that was also a fun time mostly

rp  pet  peeves  /  dealbreakers:  uhhh don't treat our rp stuff like we're in a dedicated 8 year long relationship or something because i do not take this website seriously whatsoever. also dupes who take out their dupe anxiety on/around me is the worst thing ever... especially bc i love dupes so so bad but ive had a long string of them starting shit w/ my friends just cuz they were jealous of something. we're alll just a bunch of nerds writing collaborative fanfiction its not that deep.

fluff,  angst,  or  smut:  i like all three! preference for fluff and angst but i'll plot out smut. never really wrote much of it myself but i'm open to that depending on the occasion. if i had to choose one i guess angst cuz im the best at writing that but i get bored of just one thing all the time.

plots  or  memes:  memes because my attention span is garbage and im sadly too busy to full on plot with people. i do loooovee plots but its also kinda difficult since it has a lot to do with if you and the other person vibe or not u_u would love to plot more tho

long  or  short  replies: i'll be honest. i love long so bad but it takes forever to write so i prefer like 70% short stuff and 30% long stuff. i don't like dialogue for more than goofing around. short for me is like 2-4 paragraphs and long is 5+, for reference.

best  time  to  write:  when my mentally ill brain allows me to focus/fixate long enough to do so AND im not being bombarded w/ ppl needing my help or job stuff. the woes of being a techy...

are  you  like  your  muse(s): in a few ways (like aesthetic) but not really, i've had other characters that i act way more like in the past. love her so bad tho she's definitely one of my fave character types to write even if i dont act much ilke her

tagged by @leopardblow ♥ ♥ ♥ tagging whoever hasn't done it! idk i haven't been on LOL

[luna7822]

remember when a majority of deep cut """"f^^s"""" used to be really chill until a whole ass year had passed before unfortunately being so divisive and hateful cuz some fictional character didnt need to win 24/7 to ne anywhere near """"pearl 2,0"""" or some shit as if its literally just the most cliche thing ever and therefore made frye 5t4n5 even worse and delusional beyond belief than they already are since theyre now completely greedy even AFTER they won like once or twice now if u were to count japan victories too as if both resulta from diff countries still matter?

me too ;-;

even if i didnt start playing splatoon 3 until i got the game a while after i got my switch in christmas of 2022 i feel as tho i wish ppl were better than this and that times would actually be more simpler for once when no1 hated shiver for just simply existing and taking Ws, no1 was begging frye to win 24/7 in the most dumb way possible and therefore taking everything too srsly for no reason whatsoever, and no1 was being an idiot and actively hating the game for no reason too cuz its unfortunate how awful ppl became ever since a harmless go to greeting splatfest happened or some shit like that since it just pisses me off when i feel like ALL deep cut members dont even deserve any kind of backlash or overpraise at all and that they really deserve to be treated like equals for once without some1 throwing pitchforks at shiver and/or big mam for even dare winning only once or twice cuz i hate how these sad indivduals have fallen over the past year tbh when they cant even treat them all with respect for once just as they deserve ;-;

dont get me wrong idc if frye won like once or twice or that the part where she wom again was kinda wholesome too in a sense but im saying this as some1 who thankfully didnt talked abt her 24/7 in the most boring way possible since its in all honesty the frye f^^base thats REALLY at fault here for not only overreacting everytime she just doesnt win as if she doesnt have to do it all the damn time since i feel like it would honestly get tiring if she did but also the fact that i dont appreciate how theyve been unneccessarily harassing any shiver/big man fans at all and also any1 who doesnt pick fryes team 24/7 since these ppl in all honesty are just very petty, overly obsessed with their dumb fantasies for a character that doesnt have to be perfect all the damn time, and hell even going as far to throw a huge ass tyrate over """"""unfair"""""" results screens as well when they cant even do any real math to know how it works besides stacks cuz i think they somehow have some favoratism problem with somehow wanting the same damn idol to win 24/7 cuz even then i barely understand their thought process at all when its literally just complete utter nonsense and also why i despise frye 5t4n5 in the first place for just overall being incredibly delusional and having the most pathetic behavior during turf wars and splatfests too and also why i hope that they lose so badly since they need to understand that their fav is not even anywhere near """"little miss perfect""""" at all and that they should just accept taking Ls for once like a normal human being should as if thats what they should be doing rn instead of getting mad over the most minor ass shit ever

no wonder why most of the oth fanbase is literally chill compared to most of the dc one anyways cuz i srsly think that frye 5t4n5 need to just chill tf out for once and overall just stfu for more than 5 fucking minutes when this ridiculious behavior of theirs has gone off for far too long atp and that i feel like we (ie ppl that are actually normal in a literal sense) should actually do smth abt this for once when the next splatfest happens instead of just letting them be even more pathetically stupid in nature than they already are since i just really want revenge against them so fucking badly u have no idea and i just hope that whenever big man and/or shiver has smth that i can agree with like usual next splatfest then u bet that ill be damn sure to get my revenge against those so called """""frye f^^s""""" one way or another since they really dont deserve anything anymore and ik not every f^^ of fryes is like this but its really rare to see any actual normal frye f^^s that arent miserable for no reason 24/7 tbh when even if i would be on like aliens, milk chocolate, wisdom or whatever without havimg to be on the same team 24/7 then i still wont tolerate their sad behavior at all when theyre in all honesty the reason why no1 cant be normal and have a good time for once unless ur from the japan side of things that i wish was just as chill as here in murica tbh and that its literally fryes f^^base thats THE problem and only the problem when most of the assholes there are unfortunately too problematic to even do anything fun and enjoyable anymore and therefore the reason why ppl need to just step up their game, take Ls like a normal person would/embrace losing, and just treat ALL deep cut members like equals for once without any dumbshit toxicity abt a harmless group of idols that barely did anything wrong other than existing in a fictional squid/octo game series thats meant to be played for fun whatsoever ;-;

basically reason number who knows anymore as to why i think theres no need for any hatred or unneccessary overpraise towards shiver, frye, and big man when ALL of them should be treated like a normal friendly silly trio of bandits for once instead of doing some unneccessary war abt them over quite literally the most ridiculious ass shit ever to the point where its literally no secret as to why most off the hook fans act better than those idiots do anyways if u dont count any idiots who treat shiver and pearl like """"guys"""" for no reason despite being lesbians as if its literally a GIRL ONLY thing and nothing more when it doesnt need to be anymore complicated than shit has already been for a long ass while now unfortunately ;-;

and overall i just hate most of the sploon f^^base in general for being so unneccessarily divded over the funni squid/octo game that in all honesty should be played for the sake of having fun and actually enjoying it for once instead of yelling abt stupid shit that doesnt fucking matter 24/7

this has been another episode of lunas rambles and shit and i hope that nobody throws shades at me over an actual harmless goddamn opinion for once and actually be fucking normal abt it for once istggggggg

[jenanddomo]

feb 21. 2024

hiii to whoever comes across this acc! today i do a little me checkup

im still in college thx god im glad i didnt drop out

im with my amazing bf he so handsome i luv sleepin w him n talking otp w him n he so perfect our hug feels perfect

i also puttin my two weeks in at my job lol😭 i hated it i fr wouldnt be a woman no mo cuz that job is so yucky fr😞😞

i miss my long hair… idk if i ever updated when i cut my hair extremely shortshort but i regret it bc i miss my long hair cries

im so focus on gettin out of where i live , i want to move were they have mountains and beautiful site seeing:3 i wouldnt mind a city bc like u wouldnt be as bored uk bc everything is in da city

my style changed again n my music taste changed alot! lmao i do not listen to rap as much as b4 now i listen to rock,alt,punk,etc but honestly i always loved this music genre since i was a kid n the style im goin for is what i wished i had when i was a kid so thats awesome:3

my fav color is still red , i love makeup, i love clothes, im doin so well , i do get thoughts but i try to ignore it as much as i can

the past i dont really think much of it jst pops up n i have to deal w it but rn im tryin to set it aside

i love dgd:3 and kurt travis

i got a new bed finally

today i was off at work n i hate being off bc like theirs nun to do:( beside college work but i hate starin into a screen for so long

well anyways bye!!

[thefurbyddenfruit]

The reason people dont like genshin isnt because of story despite how much its talked about. Thats because the story is only talked about by players who have already decided they will keep playing.

People who tried the game and decided to leave usually stop because they hate the gacha system/rage quit when they didnt get a character they wanted, grinding for materials and artifacts, their world got to difficult for them to keep up with, and their moral dilemma of playing a game that does things they disagree with.

1st reason cannot be helped. Some people just need to change their mindset about things and something else ill say for reason 4

2nd reason is valid HOWEVER you do not need to level your characters all the way to max to be able to get through the story. There is a minimum yes but you dont need to max your characters

And that all ties in with reason 3, YOU DONT NEED TO KEEP ADVANCING YOUR WORLD LEVEL. IF YOU WANT TO YOU SHOULD MAX YOUR CHARACTERS TO THEIR CURRENT LIMIT AT THE LOWER LEVELS AND DO THIS FOR EVERY WORLD LEVEL. This way you arent struggleing for 20 mins trying to fucking fight the oceanid with your low lvl characters with shit talents (happened to me) in general your gaming experience goes alot smoother if you take your timelvling your characters AND WORLD LVL which is optional after a certain point but even before then you dont have to rush archon quests.

And lastly for reason 4, you do not have to agree with the buisness practices of mihoyo/hoyoverse to like the game. You do not need to spend money on genshin to enjoy the game. And you dont have to agree with how they handle content in the game to like the game in general. Alot of people got really mad with how they handled the skin tones of the people from sumeru

It was mostly americans

But you still have to keep in mind this is a game company in china. They had to perma change some characters outfits for CN players because of chinese laws. China is also their main and largest userbase. They will cater towards what the majority want. This goes for everything not just skin colors. Is this right? In america, no. But personally I don't speak about what's right and wrong for other countries. What's okay here isn't okay elsewhere and sometimes you have to respect that decision even if you don't personally agree with it.

Ultimately its your own decision to leave the game for these reasons, but to say its trash is unreasonable. Genshin on its own is a good game. Its a high quality game for free. The characters you want arent unobtainable. None of them are payment locked it just means youll have to be patient if you dont want to spend money.

Grinding mats and artifacts actually isnt that hard it just gets boring and repetitive if you do it alone. But if your patient with lvling it shouldn't be hard to get through

These are the real reasons people stop playing and honestly no point in arguing with them because obviously this isnt the kind of game they would be interested in in the first place if they are struggling.

You bring a lot of good points to the table but many people I know who stopped playing Genshin was actually because the story was getting boring. A close friend of mine hasn't even played past AR15 because she found the tutorial quests to be boring af. My bf is stuck in Inazuma rn because the story can drag a bit there. Inazuma was my least favorite as well. That's what my post was originally about.

I'm also semi f2p aka I only pay for the battle pass occasionally and the welkin moon. Sometimes not getting a character after man pulls can be frustrating but I also love the gacha mechanic

Tbh mihoyo lost that "We're just a little ol company in china and the laws say we can't have any black people in our games" when they literally made a playable Honkai character black. It's not that they can't. They just didn't want to.

I've been playing at word level 6 for a while cuz I don't make enough damage. (I hate grinding alone) It really hasn't bothered me that much when it comes to general gameplay but it does come to bite you in the butt when doing for example certain events or the abyss sometimes

[xelsjournal]

december 11 2022 2:12 pm

i think i got it backwards again. like for a while i was laying around like hmmm how to i attract change cuz i feel happy quite frequently and in general am content but im a bit bored. so i decided to switch up everything, my routine, my habits, my intentions, my affirmations, my mindset and see where that would take me. at the very least i can enjoy the voyage and all the newness. and for a while, i had a blast, lots changed, very interesting times, lots of ups and downs. and ive come back to a place of like stability and contentment, but also boredom again and like a looming concern of stagnancy. like im at a start of a long journey and im making my slow and steady progress but im like antsy. but i know that im at the beginning of something in one part of my life and the end of a cycle in another part of my life. i can feel the the dissonance in my joints and i feel restless. i want to rush to somewhere and get there fast, but i know thats not the right way and frankly i cant speed up the pacing of this voyage. i think i just revealed to myself that i need to exercise to relieve the sensation of wanting to expell energy but needing to redirect it. but thats not what this journal was about. anyways back to the topic of change and happiness, i asked myself again recently if i was happy and i said hmmm not really. im not sad, nothings wrongs but im just kinda going about my business, living life. it felt like i was waiting to be happy, like waiting for something to be happy about, for something outside of my to come along and set off a chain reaction that would bring me the ultimate wish fulfillment. so i went all grind mode, gotta-change-up-my-path-so-i-can-change-up-my-life, and i put my happiness somewhere else, somewhere ahead of me in some distant land. and i left and i lived. and i had a fucking blast lmaooo i put my joy in all those exhilarating moments, in those inconveniences, in that sensation of newness. i had been so anticipating it and finally making it happen and deciding to experience it fully and openly, and then having it all play out in such a fun way, so to have it come to what felt like such an abrupt stop and redirection was kind of jarring. i was still committed to enjoying myself until i could get back to somewhere else but then it continued. and continued. and continued some more. and the longer i spend here (realistically im being v dramstic cuz its mostly been these past few days), the more im wondering when tf im gonna go again lmao. cuz like the people im round rn arent making me happy or bringing me peace. if anything 80% of the time theyre feeding my own anger and discontentment. for a while i didnt notice it but since i noticed it like two days ago, every interaction is becoming an obstacle course as i dodge hooks into aggravating conversations or implicit requests for verbal drama dumps. and it has me thinking,,,, do i even wanna be here around these people!?! i think not! cuz why my day gotta be ruined just cuz urs is? but also at the same time im literally here and i cant escape that reality. so do i wait to be happy again? and i kinda subconsciously determined i would have to wait for another voyage to get my happiness back. but i came across a post a few minutes ago that said something about having “to find happiness in the little things all around you” and that had me pause bc damn yeah my life doesnt have to be bleak “until” anything. theres so many things i enjoy, my own company at the top of the list, theres just no reason my happiness needs to only look like one thing of be associated to one thing. i can find my happiness in this very moment. then it had me remembering the law of attraction and how this is kind of a good hack. if i want to be happy and living in excitement, i need to start doing so now. me being happy and exhilarated attracts. more and more opportunities for it to me, so it can open the doors to the joy im seeking by experiencing it in the now. this us a word salad and idc.

[raisinchallah]

2, 4, 12!

2. Did you reread anything? What?

i dont think i reread anything this year i feel like over the past couple years ive been trying to get back into reading again after depression and school causing a link between reading and tortuous assignments leading me to not really read much for years i have not felt like i had a ton of books i want to go back to yet cuz most of the books id want to reread are still too fresh in my mind tho i have wanted to reread canticle for leibowitz for a long time..

4. Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

hmm i actually didnt really have a specific author phase this year i havent read many books by the same author at all but i do really wanna check out monica ojeda's second book that just got translated into english jawbone was a very interesting read

12. Any books that disappointed you?

our wives under the sea oooh i really went from the highest highs (discovering someone wrote a book that seemingly combined a bunch of my favorite things and could have been the book ive been waiting for for so long with weird transformations and creepy ocean shit and gay people) to the lowest lows (reading the book and hating it) literally interminably dull and spent more time worrying about the boring social problems of middle class gay people with no gay friends who also dont like their friends that much and feeling sad ur disconnecting from ur marriage instead of focusing on the wife undergoing unknown transformations into a weird sea creature in the tub like oh ok sorry i expected this to be about the weird shit under the ocean and sinister scientific organizations and mysterious disappearances and is instead like sci fi metaphor for a break up thats also just a regular break up ok :( the writing also was simply not that good the only time i was like wow thats a really well put together sentence it was revealed it was actually just a quote from moby dick lol so i ended up reading moby dick after i finished the book anyways still searching for my dream book about women undergoing bizarre transformations under the ocean both books that purported to be about that have sucked :( (starfish by peter watts and this one)

[prettypinkroseofpatience]

thinking about Melvin and Rowan... I’m gonna write out their story one day but we must mourn Serena, for she is no longer a character that exists. R.I.P

she was the one who originally killed Rowan tho, so rest in agony?

[shingogf]

Its 1 am and im bored and i cant stop thinking about just how fuckin tragically complex spamton's character really is like. That's grade A fuckin writing.

Not only was he not so great from the start and life was by all means not kind to him bc his sales never hit no matter what, but after that benefactor (be it gaster or whoever) contacted him and he was drowning in money and fame, everything was ripped away from him once they left. He had everything a man could wish for in life and it was all just...lost in a matter of seconds. Not only that but his friends abandoned him before that too out of jealousy and after his imminent fall they entirely refused any kind of contact with him and society turned its back entirely on him, deeming him as an outcast. His past fame and success was irrelevant, because everyone looked down upon him now that he was a nobody.

But i think what he wanted the most wasn't just easy cash and bitches, but sentinence. He wanted to "call his own deals" as he puts it, he wanted autonomy over his own life and for whatever the fuck reason neither he or jevil or kris for that matter (the kris/jevil -> spamton pipeline is a whole other story theres too much to say on it) have it. And he may have had a vague idea about how it felt when being helped out by that benefactor but that didnt last either and when he saw it didnt he entirely lost his mind, further driving people away from him bc they didnt wanna be associated with his unstable ass. While you can't blame the system and other ppl necessarily for potentially targeting and "destroying" his life (i.e evicting someone who cant pay rent isnt inherently malicious), multiple factors from his environment contributed to his ultimate ruin.

And i wont even get into how fuckin good the pinocchio parallels are bc man...the character WRITING. At the end of the spamton neo battle after u defeat him peacefully he mentions he's gonna become "a real boy" with understandable excitement, but even that does not happen cuz he fuckin dies the second u cut his last string which is such a beautifully sad way of putting it. No matter how much he struggles he will never gain the free will he craves so much because he is made to be stringed around. He cannot live without an outer higher force that makes choices for him and directs him and he loathes it. Even he sorrowfully admits it at the end by saying that he couldnt be more than "a simple puppet" then recognizes kris' potential of overcoming their condition, unlike him. The inherent difference between him and pinocchio is that pinocchio at the end of the story achieves his dreams and becomes a real person, spamton, on the contrary, had lost everything relating to his person a long time ago and will never be able to get it back no matter how much he kicks and screams and tries. He also hates jevil for being able to "accept" his fate and choosing to live in blissful ignorance towards his mediocre condition, something which spamton simply cannot accept which brings his inevitable downfall.

Another parallel that makes me so fuckin normal abt his character is the weird ass icarus theme he's got going on. Besides the obvious physical comparison you could make with neo and his literal wings that look like they've been put together in a frenzy by a first grader during arts and crafts, spamton, just like icarus, tried seeing past his given role/condition and had unceremoniously fallen because of it. He had forcefully crafted his own wings and stubbornly ignored others' words, flew too close to the sun and failed, because spamton's core driving force is his stupidly high level of perseverance. Achieving absolution and ultimate truth had rendered spamton fully incapable.