#i didn't wrote any of those tags hahah

[volno-pesh]

Holy shit the orange side as a possession again

[shellofhappiness]

Eric Harris psychoanalysation OP here.. I am not sure what else I'd call it to refer to myself, lol.

Thank you for the nice words, you are a very kind person.. I would have left this as a comment, but you said what you did under a reblog and I am not commenting under my own post, hahah.

Just know your words are appreciated by me

OMG!! That's quite the title, but I recognize you because of it nonetheless! No need to thank me either, you really do deserve the praise. ^.^

I get to geek out now ... There was so much more I wanted to say, but couldn't because I didn't want to directly add to the post nor didn't want to clog the tags. We indirectly found ourselves under the same dilemma ... but we're here now, so it's okay!

The most I've ever seen people discuss directly relating to Eric's depression stems from the court-mandated diversion papers both he and his mother filled out, also acting as the confirmation for its existence outside of psychological analyzation.

( I think the juxtaposition of Katherine's neat check-marks in contrast to Eric's chaotic X's is so interesting to point out ... don't mind me. )

You noted how true to himself Eric was when filling out this document, something that a lot of people, even when they do want help, avoid to stray away from more "serious" intervention. I didn't mention it in my own post on the topic of EH's own personal struggles outside of anger, but I thought it was very interesting how his mother noted that he would only lash out in school or work, but never at home. Originally, I thought it was because he might have viewed his home as a safe-space, where he didn't feel the urge to hide from himself like he did in public, thus avoiding situations where he would be pushed to snap. But, it could also be that he had attempted acting out at home before as a cry for professional help, but his parents didn't see the point in it ( tying in with men's mental health and the time period; seriously such a good inclusion for your post!! ), so he gave up. Personally, I think the prior is still more likely, but who knows?

You really did such a great job seeing from his perspective with the turmoil that came from the instability of how he grew up ... I feel that's something a lot of people overlook, even denounce in significance, but no one can stress enough how important it is to be in one place where you feel right as a child. In the basement tape's, it was a series of stringed events he came back to reflect on frequently, more often than the average person would think. The lack of contact with past bonds ate him up inside ... I think that's why he clung so abundantly to Dylan.

Now, this is very much me reaching, but do you ever think he found a sense of completion ending his life alongside him, even before he knew their initial plans for NBK would tank? He was planning to die with his best friend ... Did he think their bond was realer than any other friendship he had to grieve in the past because instead of Dylan leaving, it would be them, together? Do you think that's why he shot himself first when it finally came down to it, either subconsciously or purposefully before Dylan so he wouldn't see him leave too? ... All rhetorical (I wouldn't put the weight that is answering those questions on you LOL), but still very entrancing to contemplate.

Somewhat related to what I just say, an anecdote that particularly sticks with me is when a student at Columbine ( cannot remember who for the life of me! ) told their experiences with EH, the two of them sharing a class together where students could anonymously submit their dreams. Paraphrasing, "everyone knew when Eric wrote something because it would always be "me and Dylan," "me and Dylan." The influence they had on each other was worth a lifetime. I appreciated how you let aloud the fact that it's difficult to discuss the mental health of one of them without mentioning the other because of how they lost touch between everything & everyone together with their plans.

Another pile of information that really helps to humanize Eric are the accounts from his female friend who knew him from work, and the letter she wrote to him post-mortem. It's the closest thing we have to any friend or family coming out about who "he" was instead of what Columbine made him. Something, as you mentioned, Klebold has an profusion of in comparison.

This article is also a very good read ... It's an excerpt from a book written about the effects gun violence can have on teenagers by proxy. The part taken is an interview from a girl Eric knew from sixth grade when he was staying in New York. It's bittersweet to think on how much effort the two of them put into remaining in contact up until his death. I think that's why EH and the general concept of "love" ( at least what I define love to be ... ) in his life really fascinates me compared to other ideas that can be focused on outside of April 20th. From the way his more positive romantic encounters described and cared for him, it really is shell-shocking to think that's the same guy.

... I'm sure you weren't expecting this elaborate of a response! I just wanted an excuse to ramble at someone indirectly, hope you don't mind. >.< Anyway, I seriously can't wait to read more of your psychoanalysis, let alone any of your more enlightening posts in the future!! I am your #1 cheerleader and I sincerely believe what you think needs to be said because no one else is! Waving my pompoms at yoouuu.

[hurting-fictional-people]

things I meant to say recently and forgot (some mostly irrelevant) include:

the story I most associate with you (perhaps obviously) is Betrayal Story, although a couple others also stick in my brain pretty well. the recently continued whumpee-betrays-caretaker one foremost among them.

speaking of that, I almost commented that you're really into branding just now, but you basically said all of that in the tags already. :p

also speaking of that one, I'm sad that whumpee didn't get to explain what actually happened! so the whumper assumed they were lying. misunderstandings, they pain me.... Glad the whumpee and caretaker ended up clearly on the same side, though, and I hope the latter gets his murderous wish. <3

also, the machete is for yard work! my father and I spent a while de-limbing a tree that fell in our yard with shears and a hacksaw and an axe. and shortly after this, he saw a machete in the store, said to himself ‘I should have a machete.’ and bought a machete. buying tools that would've been useful recently, as you do. so, now we have a machete.

can’t say that I’m surprised that you’d associate me with Betrayal Story haha and hmm interesting... that was a pretty intense one, I can see why it’d stand out

branding is one of those tropes that I just never seem to get tired of. I don’t read it often though, so I kinda forgot how much I enjoy a branded whumpee for a while. and then I wrote Liam’s branding and now I can’t stop thinking about it and needed more hehe

I mean, even if the whumper knew what actually happened I don’t think it’d have made much of a difference if it makes it any better... and yes!! I usually hate misunderstandings when I’m reading because they make me too nervous. I only enjoy it if I’m the one writing and know that it’ll all be solved in the end haha, and yeah I hope so too! if my dear Brain cooperates and lets me write it 🙃 

HAHAH I can't believe he got the machete after everything omg. well if you look at the bright side, next time a tree falls in your yard you'll be ready lol

and before I forget (which I almost did) here are the “secrets” for the stories: 

the idea for part 1 of betrayal story came from a tiktok! it was a girl talking about how she wanted to see more of the “I trusted you and you betrayed me and now we have to spend time together again but I half hate half love you” trope, and I was like “oof me too, girl, me too. wait, I could write that. and it’d be so much better if I made it whumpy...” and that’s how chase and liam were born :’)

and since I can’t think of anything special about whumpee-betrayed-caretaker here’s more from betrayal story.

okay so I think I’ve already said it but the branding idea was what made me want to make the characters into ocs, so it was the first idea I had for the story itself. and I wrote it down so I wouldn’t forget. here is what made betrayal story exist:

Whumpee dares look only once, and it’s enough to feel bile at the back of their mouth.

Two letters maim whumpee’s skin, one on the inside of each wrist.

C on the right one, T on the left. CareTaker.

I just. KJDFDH CareTaker ???? I’m sorry for this but I couldn’t keep this treasure to myself. I laugh every single time I look at it. CareTaker. askjfdskdj

now here’s an actual line from a piece I haven’t fully written yet cuz I feel like those were some shitty secrets lmao 

“You came back,” he rasps out, hoarse and unbelieving. “You came back for me.”

“Of course I did,” Chase whispers, cupping pale wet cheeks that feel so terribly fragile between his hands. “I’ll always come back for you.”

[stuck-in-jelly]

Day 9: Witch's and Hot Chocolate

Me tiptoeing into the bnhawlw2018 tag: I uh can explain.

"SEASONAL DEPRESSION!!"

I'm getting better so I wrote as much as I could to make up for my tardiness @bnhawlwmonth

--------------------------

This is going to be quick she assured herself, all she had to do was get some herbs. She told herself thing but starting into the woods she didn't feel so sure, the way the branches reached outwards to the world as is pleading to be apart from the forest itself, the errire silence that crept into her very soul whispering for her to leave, and the darkness of the trees cramped together hiding any sunlight as if huddling together for comfort or warmth. She really needs to stop thinking!

She just needs a few herbs from this place just a few, this potion required them and she was desperate. With a sigh the young witch reached into her traveling bag and pulled out a small wand if you could call it that.

It was stout but cute, made of ash wood the wand was adorn with many decorations and charms; around the entirety of the wand copper wire weaved around beautifully, from underneath the copper special runes were carved into the base ( Laguz, Sowilo, Algiz, Eihwaz, Hagalaz, Wunjo, Kenaz, and Ansuz) all meant to help her.

Covering the bottom base was a light blue cloth simply their to make the wand eaiser to grasp, and last but not least tied on the bottom by a yarn was several crystals and bells.

Last but not least on the top her name was carved 'Yuyu'.

Taking a breath Yuyu closed her eyes casted a small protection spell on herself the words rolling off her tounge by instinct. Opening her eyes she straightened herself and took her first step into the unknown.

The darkness seemed to engulf her and in seconds the dim sunlight was barely viable. She muttered another spell and her wand jerked small lights radiating from the copper before racing to the tip and out in the air and small sparks before a baby blue light appeared by her side and quickly leaped from place to place lighting the area and waiting patiently to see where theirs summoner would travel.

Yuyu kept her eyes in the ground hoping to find the herbs quick. Clove, clover, and Camomile. Just those three. And these woods are said to be covered in herbs perfect for witches then again it is also said here some dangerous witches casted horrible spells meant only for harm. Again she has to stop thinking!!

The wind picks up and the light flickers and ducks behind a tree as Yu tries to hold her bag in place. Strange. Her spells told her it wouldn't be windy at all.

Shaky it off she ushered the light and follow quickly

"Common on now, lets hurry then you won't have to be hiding there"

She was full aware the light had no sentiance but it felt nice talking to it when she was nervous, almost as if she isn't alone. The light obeyed and jumped up scanning the area quickly before waiting again.

Walking off the young witch failed to capture a faint movement in the trees above and curious eyes the followed.

As Yuyu wandered she found many herbs she couldn't help but stop and pick up although she didn't necessarily need them. These woods were strange all type of flora grew here even tho they typically don't exists in the same area, even the types of wood from the trees changed. Some serious magic dabbling happened here to cause all of this.

The light suddenly brighten. An alert, it spotted something. Hardly thinking Yuyu gripped her wand letting her energy speed through it and glow beating to the rate of her heart. She looked around eyes darting

"What is it little light? What do you see?"

She whispered desperately wishing it could talk back but then the stopped its panicked glowing and lowered itself down. Yuyu stayed on guard her eyes taking up every inch of the forest but only silence and darkness greated her.

After a few moments she lowered her wand the glowing dying and her pulse slowing. Maybe it was a squirre-

A branch smacked her square on her nose, the pain was quick but the panic was quicker. In the initial shock she dropped her wand the the light glowed in panic again, her vision was blurry as she fumbled on the ground for her wand

"ABOVE YOU!"

Her voice obeyed and her head shot upwards just in time to see a large long slithering form barreling straight for her face quickly she scrambled away just as the creature made landfall rearing its head.

Oh god a basilisk.

She never thought she'd have to see one in person. The panicked light continued to flash illuminating the features of the creature. The creature hoisted itself up on its feathered legs, the large talons tearing into the dirt as its scalied tail whipped around angrily. But She dared not look at the face.

Those eyes could kill.

Just don't look in its eyes

"DUCK!"

No questioning. She ducked quickly her body acting on its own only for imminently feel a large guar of wind wash over her threatening to draw her into its current but she dug her fingers and feet into the ground as loud crashes filled her ears. The wind slowed and her curious eyes looked upwards to see a mass wreck.

The trees that stood mighty before all crumbled and snapped under the weight of the beast. It squirmed and withered in clear pain, its talons grasping for support on anything. The light besides it flickered before dying completely

"Get up we gotta go!"

The voice pulled her from the sight as a girl leapt out from the trees running and scopping up Yuyu's wand from the ground and some feathers from the beast before dashing to her side pulling her up

"It'll get up soon"

Usually she'd be opposed to following a stranger deeper into the woods but it doesn't seem like there is much of a choice here. Their hands claps together tightly

"Hold on"

The girl pulled her own wand, it was carved into a spiral with decorative crystals logged into the oak wood. She muttered a spell a smile on her face, their bodies got lighter and squeezing her hand softly the girl dashed the world zooming by in a blur barely registering what was going on. In a blink of an eye they were in a wooden cottaged.

A really cozy cottage, they seemed to be right in front of the main door and to the right was a living room and to the left was a dinning table with a kitchen behind it, it the center was a hallway and stairs that lead to the top floor. The cottage was painted blue with white lining the frame, the furniture to compliment house was a pale yellow with blue and/or white pillows or blankets. Most of them had some desgin on them.

The mysterious girl slowly let out of Yuyu's hand before sighing loudly in relief and laughing

"Wow! That was crazy! Did you see all of that?!? Hahah! Its a good thing you're okay! Gee I have no idea how that big guy got there"

Yuyu could only take in the girls features as she rambled on and on, her hair was long reaching all the way down to her knees it light blue and curved and curled at the ends, her eyes were wide and blue as well with a light in them a spark only a child could have.

Then the girl was in her face

"Where ya from? Your hair is really cute! Is that bag for your spellbook? What are you doing out here alone? Want something to drink?"

This was too close, she could feel the blush creep around her face. She was really cute

"Umm I uh yeah would like a drink. Anything is fine"

The bubbly girl beamed wider practically bouncing over to the kitchen and and fumbled in her cabinets before successfully pulling out a pot and setting it on the stove

"Care to answer my questions?

She ask as she set the flame and dashed to a curburt full baking ingredients and sweets. Yuyu considered the girl for a moment. She did save her life and seems to be making her some hot cocca in her small cottage. There is nothing to lose. Yuyu made her way to the small dining table and sat down.

"I um I'm from a small village by the riverside. The river has been cursed and a lot of us are dreadfully ill. I wanted to get herbs from here to treat them. It would have been faster if I am here and I was just really worried about them..." Yuyu spared a glance up and those eyes stared at her with wonder, Yu could feel the blush starting up again

"I-I mean we are a tight knit community! We all basically know each other and I- uh just wanted to h-help" the girl smiled and turned back to the stove and stirred the chocolate

"That's really brave of you! I can sense you have a lot of protection spells on you but the water has also made you ill hm?"

That wasn't a thing was proud of but she knew the girl was right, her magic was weak. The light spell usually cast 2 blue orbs that circle around the summoner and usually they don't flicker in the wind. Yuyu sighed and barely managed a nod

"You should take care of yourself you know, I get you're worried about your village but you won't do them any good dead" her voice was cheerful and light and Yuyu couldnt help but feel overwhelming trust

"Guess so"

"What herbs were you looking for?"

"oh it was looking for Clove, Clovers, and Chamomile"

The girl gasped and suddenly abononded the stove and ran down the hallway and disappeared past a unseen door way. Yuyu waited a moment before footsteps ran back and the girl appeared in her arms were 3 large bags, she plopped them down in front of Yuyu

"You are in luck! I found a whole field covered in this beauties!! There was defiantly a herboligst who worked here, maybe they divided the area by medicine and poison! The outskirts of the forest are covered in poisonous plants but the center is beautiful!"

The girl rambled again as Yuyu cautiously peeked into the bag and nearly squealed with delight, there was a lot!! So much! Enough to help her village. She couldn't hold her smile as she looked back to the girl who went on about the plants and the amazing craftsman ship of the forest.

There was a faint smell of burn "Umm ma'am?" The girl stopped

"Hm?"

"The hot chocolate"

She gasped and ran back to the stove turning it off as quickly as possible and pulling the pot away from the heat

"Its not too boiled I hope!"

She muttered a small spell and a small gust of wind breezed over the pot calming the stream of heat, she left it before grabbing some mugs and heading back. One mug had Jasmime's painted along it and the other had Lilly's

"Which would you like?"

"The lily"

She nodded and poured a even amount of hot chocolate in each up before making her way bbefore making her way back to the table and sitting.

Yuyu graciously grabbed the cup and drank, it was different but tasted good.

Then it dawned on her. There is no way this girl will let her get the herbs without a hefty price. Clearing her throat Yuyu got ready to bargain

"So how much?"

"Hm? Oh! I usually put about ⅓ a cup unsweetened cocoa powder and sometimes add a bi-"

"No no! I mean how much for the herbs?" The girl feel silent and blinked in confusion

"How much? You think I'm going to charge you?" Yuyu went silent now.

Would the girl charge her now? She could feel sweat forming in her head

"A charge...oh! I got it!" Yuyu tense as the girl stood her expression turning back to its happy state

"It will cost you 1 date!" Yuyu all but chocked on her coco her face burning bright

"Really? A date?!" The girl nodded hopefully.

Well this is too good to be true

"On one condition"

The girl tilted her head intrigued

"You tell me your name"

The girl beamed

"I'm Nejire! Nejire is my name!"

Yuyu smiled, this girl had to be the cutest thing in the universe.

The forest might be cursed but if it meant getting her a girlfriend she isn't complaining too much

[coffehbeans]

Oh my gosh this is so fun cause I remember EXACTLY how my g/t liking started - and I had no more than 5 years old 😭 sit down and grab your popcorn, cause my memory is good LMAO • There was a Backyardigans ep where Tasha is a giant and 5 year old me loved that ep, but I was super embarrassed about it • There was a tv commercial back then too where a man and a woman continuously grew until they reached the top of the screen and I absolutely loved that 😭 • When I was 7 there was an ep of Powerpuff Girls Z where Ken became a giant, and when I saw that ep for the first time I switched channels because I was so embarrassed ausjssh I watched the entire anime when I was 12 later on, and I watched that ep very recently too, it still makes my stomach sink to this day LMAO I'm pretty sure that was the ep that made me like accidental fearplay and giants invading cities • Me and two of my childhood friends used to play a game when we were children, where we used a machine on one of them in order for him to grow LMAO one of these friends also liked playing with the dolls as if he was a giant and the dolls were tiny people, but I didn't like feeling like a giant so I always refused to play it auahshs. I wonder if they'd be into g/t nowadays as well XD • I watched Monsters vs Aliens twice on cinemas, you guys can guess why aushshsh one day when I was watching it with my mom at home, I was still a kid, and I still remember she saying at the Susan growing scene: "I like this scene". I was SWEATING because I was wondering if she liked it the same way I did. Are you hiding smth mom?? Ausshhsshs • I heard about Arrietty for the first time when I was around 9 years old. I saw a cover of it in a store with pirated movies, her dress was even blue in the cheap cover lmao I got SUPER curious about it but I felt embarrassed to ask my mom to buy it. Later on, when I was 10 and went to a rent movie store with my father (those things used to exist back then hahah x,D), I saw that same cover AGAIN and didn't hesitate to ask him to buy it. Counting till this day, I watched Arrietty 5 times, and every time when I visited my father when I was younger, I would rent that movie haha • I heard about Honey I Shrunk The Kids on the internet and watched the entire movie on Youtube, just out of curiosity. I loved it auahshshs I still didn't know about g/t back then • One day, still before knowing about g/t, I randomly searched "giants" on DeviantArt 😭 I was blessed because I don't remember seeing any n$fw back then • When I was 10, right after watching Arrietty, I made a story that was a crazy mix between Arrietty and Attack on Titan LMAO I never wrote it tho, it just remained in my head. I remember everything that I created for this story back then, if someone is curious I can make a separate post about it 😂 • And finally, when I found out about the g/t tag, I was about 15, I read an Undertale fic that had this tag and searched it on Google, then I found some stories on DeviantArt, and that's how I got into it aushshs MAN, that was my whole g/t journey. Pretty crazy to think about

Specific formative G/t memories from my childhood that make me go “oh wow okay”

In spiderman 64, you fight a giant mysterio and I would lose on purpose right toward the end to Observe it all over again

I would feel so EMBARRASSED?? when I checked out Indian in the Cupboard books at my school library. I’d hand them off to the librarian and be so awkward about it, and she gave me a LOOK once as if she Knew

By chance, I saw the first meeting scene from the Borrowers (1997) on disney channel and I remember staring with wide eyes at the screen and desperately replaying that scene over and over in my head after that

Almost every one of my childhood cartoons had a Shrinking episode and u better believe I memorized those episode titles and somewhat knew where they were in the cycle of reruns. Like I knew when they were due for an airing

Y'all have any??