#i didn't openly talk about it because i didn't want to lose my blog either

[masked-disciple]

Yeah, fix the damn transphobia. While we're at it, what about unbanning the CSA victims who you permabanned for mentioning that they were CSA victims. Because I lost mutuals, and I thought we learned from Strikethrough.

Hello, crab fans. Wow, you have been having a busy time! On July 29, also known as Crabs Day, you took to TumblrMart to give the gift of crabs to your pals. And boy, did we notice—not just all the great crab memes and trending posts on the day but also the burst in sales which made up a substantial financial boost to the running costs at Tumblr. And it truly took our breath away.  

We got so excited we went back to the drawing board and designed some crab checkmarks, which we teased by dressing your regular checkmarks up as crabs on the day. On August 1, we launched a regular little crab checkmark and a rainbow crab checkmark for gifting and treating yourselves.

Here are some stats from Crabs Day:

You gifted 8k crabs that day. That’s an almost 20k% increase in crab sales.

We saw a more than 7k% increase in total Tumblrmart sales.

All this money goes straight back into running costs—such as a month’s worth of power costs for Tumblr application servers. That’s all you! You’re doing that! You’re keeping Tumblr around with your generosity toward your friends. Crabs be thanking ye ❤

[yesterdayiwrote]

two cents here and to say something to the other blog saying this is toto's way of getting 'revenge' / 'back' at lewis..

but the 'toto is obsessed with max because he's desperate to have him in his team' would go to every team too because they would sacrifice anyone to have someone like max in their team, the only difference is that toto talks about it in the media to which it gets talking and people talking about it too while other tp's don't YET they want too and would love to have him in their team ( and are thinking as well ) .

like let's be honest, ferrari would have sacrificed either carlos or charles too for max to drive the prancing horse, hell mclaren would have had sacrificed oscar for max, like i said any team would sacrifice one driver in order to get max to drive for her

Like I've said before, yes, I understand how the 'idea' of having max would be tempting for any team. Ferrari did sacrifice Carlos, for Lewis not Max but would they really have kicked out Charles? I think that's unlikely.

And in terms of McLaren, I think the situation we're looking at here would be more equivalent to Zak dropping hints that Lando would be the one out of a seat, which would definitely be odd.

But in either case, if either TP did start talking up how much they wanted Max, do you think Charles/Lando/Oscar fans would be sitting around going "Oh yeah, great decision, definitely comfortable with my driver losing his seat for that to happen! I welcome the possibility!" Quite obviously they would be pissed off about it too?

And yeah, take Lewis to Ferrari as an example. Fred didn't spend two years telling the media how he'd drop either of his drivers if he could get Lewis. He didn't even tell the media they'd been speaking to Lewis, because he quite clearly respected Carlos and casting doubt on his future that far out doesn't do anyone any favours.

Toto was more coy when talking about Valtteri's future and we all KNEW he was losing his seat? Everyone's been deigning James Vowles to the pits of hell for shopping around Logan's seat so publicly, but what, it's suddenly okay if it's Max you're talking about signing? (Sorry anon - I know you said other TPs don't talk about it openly so not aimed at you as such I just got on a roll)

[sk-lumen]

Need serious advice about setting boundaries or communicating when dealing with a person who:

Is a parent

Has unhealthy communication methods -- it takes very little for them to start full-blown screaming, shouting out all your 'negative' things/mistakes/past, can continue to scream-criticise you even after you've gone silent, for WHOLE MINUTES even if you've shut up, will not accept anything that even hints at them making a mistake

You can't trust since childhood coz u made the mistake of confiding in them with a serious issue as a young teen --- mental related --- and they belittled and invalidated you, and since then pretended you never confided in them and have NO IDEA how you've been coping without them or ANYone else for years... Yeah thanks, parent, what u said back then made me think I was the one at fault and so I stopped trusting even friends coz yeah, when ur own parent doesn't give a damn, why would anyone else?

Is a master at silent treatments without explaining what EXACTLY they're punishing you for, then when theyre in the mood, will start talking to you as if they hadn't ignored you for days. Lol I'd rather be water boarded I think. Especially for all the damage this caused when I was a child

Won't openly talk about what they want, yet expects ALL FHE TIME others (in the family) to know what they want, then will complain/scream/angry for AGES about how no one cares, no one gives a damn... And when someone asks them what they want, they either say: nothing, or "you should know! Can't u see?"

Upon asking them to please talk normally, will blow a fuse, and lose it --- happened multiple times today

Literally will use me as a scape goat to unleash their frustrations upon. Even when I leave the room, I can hear them b*tch about how much of a failure I am etc. The trigger being anything that bothers them, from a phone call to something other siblings did, bla bla. I limit my time with them... But it's like, it feels impossible to have them treat me normally, without ridiculing or criticising me. I'm already a very low self esteem person... This doesn't help AT ALL

In short, refuse to tell/ask/discuss important stuff, and getting mad randomly that no one read their mind, bcoz everyone's 'old enough to have enough sense' to know what they 'should' do... Eg will not pikc up the phone when we call them from the store to ask when what the needed isn't available, so what other alternative can we get... And then when we get home, will instead blame us for being fussy and not getting the alternative, completelt skirting around the issue they didn't deign to pick up the phone... I mean, I don't get it. In the past I HAVE in fact asked them to just openly tell me what they want/expect from me to make them happy... Got passive aggressive answers like "don't you know? Are you dumb?" Bla bla

Passive aggressive to the max when they've lost it

Expect me to drop anything I'm doing and immediately cater to them, and expect me to help them in their hobbies (while simultaneously, as I learned many years ago to much heartache, not being interested or even pretending to be interested in my hobbies. The disinterest taught me very quickly how much what I wanted meant, leading to years of self-invalidation. Luckily I've learned it really is them, not me. My hobbies are valid)

Will not talk about why they're feeling angry, what causes it. Instead will blame me, who's like the golden scapegoat in our amazing family, by saying :YOU made me negative. They've said it many times now... It hurts a lot, when I'm also struggling with my own issues which I ofc can't confide in them about :)

Today I manned up -- the outburst of hatred happened again! Over a simple thing. It was NIGHTMARE and made me angry/sad/frustrated/triggered---, and so I told them to stop talking like that... Boy was that the wrong thing to say... I don't think I can accurately tell u what happened afterwards...

Usually children learn communication skills from the parents... I at least learned to recognize the unhealthy ones, and what NOT to communicate like lol. Like, other parent is even worse, believe it or not. But that's another complex situation

I'm not bashing on the parent. Lord knows I even have that much of a right huh? I hate myself eveb more when they invalidate me if I try to show how MUCH THEY HURT me after a 'communication session'. As in, heaven forbid me if I BE SILENT afterwards and DON'T wanna listen to their retardation. Nope. Even then they provoke me, rage at me, you know how sometimes enraged people hiss vitriol thru gritted teeth? Yeah, that's what they did today after I stayed silent and tried to ignore them an hour later after the 'session' when they wabted something. It's like they don't even need me to say a word and will carry on and on for minutes 🤢

I feel alone, helpless and at a loss what to do

I want to move out. Due to severe mental issues I can't even move out rn coz it scares me even more. But this has to stop. Things are only okay if I'm absolutely passive, say yes to whatever they want, kill my wants and needs, and become a perfect robot bred to cater to them (parent)

I hope you can help me out, dear

Hi darling,

It sounds like you’re in a considerably toxic environment. I'm sorry you're going through this. Know that this is not normal, nor is it how a parent/child relationship should be. In case there's any doubt, let me start by saying you deserve to be supported, respected, listened to, to have your needs met. You deserve to live in an environment that offers you all of these things.

With that being said, from the many scenarios you’ve mentioned you’ve already tried reasoning and setting boundaries, to no avail. There is only so much you can do on your own, if the other person in the equation is not meeting halfway or at all. After all, a healthy conversation involves two people, not just one.

Here's my advice, in this order:

Calmly and maturely asking the respective parent to have a serious discussion with you and to listen to what you have to say. Share how their actions and behaviour is making you feel, let them know you care, and make sure to mention several solutions for the issue as well. If this doesn’t work…

Bring up the subject of needing help from outside, such as the assistance of a specialist/therapist. Family counselling can shed a lot of light on toxic behaviours that are ingrained from childhood (both in their case and yours), on fears your parent may have, stress from their work, whatever is causing their outbursts and anger - because there is always a reason. Behind anger is sadness, and behind sadness is some need not being met, or an underlying fear, trauma, etc. This is not a justification for their behaviour, they are responsible for it; this is simply the fact of how energy dynamics work. People bottle up their frustrations, fears, etc, and let them out on those closest to them, to whom they feel superior. It’s not fair, and it’s not healthy, but it is frequently how this pattern works. If this solution doesn’t work either…

Then unfortunately, all you can do is focus on yourself. If they refuse to meet you anywhere along the road, you have to pack up your things and go your own way. Literally or metaphorically. They may be your parent and you may love them even in spite of their behaviour, but you cannot hold yourself responsible for anything they say or do; that is on them. In those cases, you have to prioritize your own mental health and wellbeing, and focus on moving out. If your (home) environment is toxic, you have to focus on first changing it. That’s vital. Only afterwards can you start healing, refinding yourself, reclaiming your self-esteem and confidence, your sense of worth. As long as you stay stuck in a toxic environment, you cannot really heal; if there is abuse of any kind (physical, mental, emotional), the causes are still there, leading to re-traumatizing.

If for whatever reason moving out is not (yet) an option, I would emphasize seeking some sort of counselling for yourself, if nothing else. You need an anchor, some sort of support that will help you along your path until you do get out.

Now, I don’t know how old you are. I am going to assume you are over 18 and of age, so only mind my advice if that is the case. (As disclaimer, I don't provide advice to minors as it's not the scope of my blog nor am I specialized/focused on that area.)

I understand moving out seems scary because it is unknown, but with that line of thought you may wait another 10 years in the same situation. Wouldn’t you wake up 10 years later already having done the hard work on moving out, finding your independence, claiming your sense of individuality and moving on from this sort of environment, this phase in your life?

Sooner is better than later, but do so with mindfulness and care over your mental health, of course. I know it’s scary. But being an adult requires some difficult decisions at times, and setting boundaries begins with choosing your wellbeing and doing what needs to be done, even if it is something uncomfortable short-term, but highly rewarding and beneficial long-term.

Hope this helps... and wishing you much luck, clarity, gentle guidance and comfort.✨

PS: Lately I've been receiving longer and longer letters in my inbox. As solution, I was thinking of having longer asks/letters redirected to my blog where there isn't any length limit, and readers can more comfortably browse both my tumblr and blog - and those requesting advice can share and receive a more in-depth response.

-Lumen

[infiniteglitterfall]

I am mind-boggled and in awe right now at how social media just. Went flash like lightning and /flaps hands vaguely/ Just with the. Just like

First it was like 2004 and I was on a listserv I'd started for genderqueers, and on another for multiples. (Which I'd only found out existed because of someone I'd met on the genderqueer one.) I was out to everyone as genderqueer, and out to a select few as multiple.

I blogged about both, on LiveJournal. I knew lots of people who were one or both, because listservs. But it was still a time where most people didn't know what either one was.

Where I had to be prepared to explain either thing to people if I wanted to bring it up. (And I'd often start with, "do you know what _____ is" just to see where we stood.) Where I was often the one to explain them to people just so that I could gently (?) bring them to the realization that these labels applied to them.

And then life happened, I guess? Listservs fell apart. People migrated to social media. I was very focused on recovering from abuse and its effects, and that community largely took the place of the queer/trans/plural ones for me for a while.

I swear to god I turned my back for like five minutes. Or five years. It feels like both.

Then I realized that I could either get on Tumblr, or have virtually no idea what Kids These Days were saying and doing ever again. I chose Tumblr.

Basically, I rejoined the public instead of hanging out solely with people I knew.

And somehow, the world?? was now?? a place where all of these things were common knowledge? Where they were now mostly called being "nonbinary" (oh, we have a word we can say in front of the straights now?) and "plural"? (smart move; searching for "multiples" always used to turn up a lot of stuff from people who'd had twins.)

A world where it seemed like most people were queer and/or trans?? Where people talked openly about being plural???

I thought that was all there was to it.

But fast-forward eight years or so.

Now, people have been talking openly about their experiences for long enough that more than a third of Gen Z is in the quiltbag.

People have been talking about their experiences for long enough that when I had to do a custody hearing a few months ago, the judge took time first to make sure she had all of our pronouns right: they, he, and gem. And to find out whether we each wanted Mr, Ms, or Mx.

People have been talking about their experiences, publicly, in a manner that is widely accessible, for long enough that a friend of mine - who is 10 years younger - just had a realization about giving answers they would never normally give to a partner's questions, rapidly connected all the dots, and went, "well, looks like I'm plural."

I had been thinking about letting them know that a new mutual friend, who I met in that long-ago listserv, was plural.

But oopsie-doodles! I no longer need to. Because they're both nonbinary. And they both went to a trans zine workshop together today.

The newer friend shared a link to this very post in our group chat. And casually goes, "We just found out that we are all plural here"!

I feel like, BOOM. I just FAST-FORWARDED from "nobody knows what this is and you have to gently introduce the idea" to "it's general knowledge and people can figure it out easily on their own, without a lot of stigma!"

And while I type this? My six-year-old is in the other room, happily explaining to our (also nonbinary) housemate that the main character in his new special interest, Billie Bust Up, is nonbinary.

Also: this is why the Christian Nationalists, who are trying the genocide again, are going to lose.

They've already lost. They are so incredibly far behind the times that their entire plan is pretty much hopeless.

Gender & Multiplicity: A Primer On The Intersection of Transness & DID REDAC FourOFour Spring 2023

Keep reading

[rpbetter]

Hi Vespertine. Sorry to add to the pile, I promise I will send in some writing related things to compensate later. I also misgendered that user in a comment by accident with she/her. I blocked them, but they still looked at my blog, and they made a post that said by using the wrong pronouns, which they thought was intentional and meant to hurt them, I purposefully called them a hysterical woman stereotype. Obviously that wasn't true. I was just going off a comment someone else made on my blog where they used she/her, and I thought I had to correct myself. It was a case where good intentions, even if I was not happy with the user's behavior or expected to talk to them again, I was still going to use the right pronouns, but my intentions were warped by someone with an agenda. I'm sorry to hear you're getting the same heat. I didn't use my rp blog to interact with the user or talk about them because I was sure something like this would happen, either by them or other people like that callout blog, and I think other people had the same idea. I dodged a bullet there, but I'm still paranoid. I'm paranoid I'll hear a notif and see my rp blog in a callout for this, because someone hunted it down, or a callout for trying to talk to the person who started all the drama. Nobody should be scared to talk about someone on their own blog. Nobody should be scared to talk openly, in general. Nobody should be called out for trying to talk with someone either. This culture of fear is so disturbing to me.

Hey there, Anon!

Oh, I would love that, but you totally don't have to, of course. Don't feel bad for adding on, I'm here for anything at all, and honestly, with the job I'm doing IRL right now, it's really hard for me to concentrate well enough on finishing any of the advice posts (at least, to be the quality y'all deserve). It's a hot topic, it's included so, so, terribly many people in the RPC. It's also one that's generating some great, needed conversations. So, it isn't like you're adding to anything bad, annoying or distracting me, or contributing to the inflammatory side of this.

Hell, it's got to be really nice for some of the people in messages I've received to see proof that they weren't alone in this experience. I can keep publishing the hate anons for exactly that reason, and I can promise people they aren't the only ones (in this or in any such horrible behavior), but it's different to see it coming from a third party! So, thank you for that.

Though, I am deeply sorry that you were treated to more than a ringside seat in this debacle.

It's not very encouraging to be thoughtful and respectful of other people when literally nothing you can say or do will result in anything other than more twisting of your words, and that's a big problem I have with this shit. Things like actual transphobia, intentional misgendering, actual infantalization and shit treatment of ND people, actual harassment, etc. etc. etc. matter. It's just more trivializing of real problems for the sake of blowing nonexistent bullshit up, and that is immensely disgusting to me. The fact that you damn well know someone out there has had the reaction to this behavior of, well, fuck you then, fuck trans people is really upsetting.

Like, yeah, let's be real, if you require social rewards to do the right thing, you have some problems lol but at the same time, you know who does require social rewards to develop themselves? Young people. And the RPC is largely comprised of people in their early twenties who, for a variety of possible reasons, are still at that point

Furthermore, no, it's not anyone's job to be good representation at all times, especially when that performance comes at a cost to themselves, but maybe don't go out of your way to be the person that is the necessary push in the wrong direction of someone's formative experience with people of your community. If it's costing you nothing to not clown on serious issues, but is costing the entire world another bigot for you to clown on serious issues, the choice should be a bit obvious here. Whenever you're in a safe place - physically, emotionally - and capable of that kind of logic, exercise it, damn.

It's definitely a better course of action than playing out skewed activism by vilifying innocent people, more worthy of one's effort than losing their collective shit over a very easy mistake. One that I'd say was even less avoidable in your case. AGAIN, how, exactly is anyone supposed to know this shit when they're blocked? When they aren't subverting the blocks they, themselves, put in place? I know for a fact none of them are looking at the information of the people they choose to try to drive out of the RPC, but everyone else is supposed to make zero reasonable assumptions, check and recheck blogs they have made an effort not to visit for good reason. Sounds absolutely reasonable and sane!

So, you know what? I'm going to be even more offensive here and talk for a moment about why these mistakes are reasonable.

When we see a post and reblog it, it's not unreasonable to assume that the OP had knowledge we didn't. Since we blocked the offending party, but they're discussing them. OP uses the incorrect pronouns, we end using the incorrect pronouns as well. This is not malicious intent. It isn't intentional at all, it's just having a discussion. A discussion that wouldn't have even transpired if they hadn't taken it upon themselves to (what a coincidence) take personal issue with a RPer they repeatedly took out of context and decided to shame for it, before proceeding to get an even bigger stick and pot.

When we decide to block a blog, it's our responsibility to stay off of it. Not go looking at it for any reason. That is now off-limits. When someone blocks us, it's also our responsibility to respect that decision, no matter how outrageous it was, no matter what we might need to verify. That's the issue with blocking when we don't exploit how easy it is to get around blocking on tumblr; we've cut ourselves off from any further meaningful communication, including passive communication like rules and posts. Kind of like how you cannot expect an apology to mean a damn thing when you've blocked everyone you harassed, then made that apology in a post on your blocked blog. Don't put up walls you expect people to see through, then get upset when they can't see through them.

As a community, the RPC is primarily afab. That's never a problem to bring up when someone wants to be angry about their female muse not getting equal attention and so on, but it's a problem to discuss any other time, about any other problem. Dealing with the things that we're socially raised to ascribe to as afab people is that problem. It's reflected in our behaviors, interests, and speech. We may not want to live in a gendered world, we may eschew that, but we were raised in a gendered world and it shows. One which has a lot of complications for being that, like almost everyone feeling safer around afab people by default of the All Men Are Bad, All Women Are Harmless bullshit.

We not only know that the RPC is primarily afab, we tend to assume comfort, especially in hostile situations, by assuming those pronouns in others.

And it so does not matter how much any of us like it, some people have more masculine or feminine tones. Even in text. That means neither that someone's gender identity should be disregarded nor that this text-based presentation is correct, but like every other unfair thing that exists, it's a thing. Like you, Anon, you genuinely come across in tone as primarily neutral, slight lean toward masculine. Even if I wasn't inclined to do so, not knowing you and all, I'd use they/them for you instinctively because that's what your speech is giving me. That isn't any more unreasonable than ascribing another set of pronouns based on the same information.

Oh yeah, I know, lurkers, the difference is that they/them is the appropriate choice when one does not know. I know that logically, but people aren't always operating like robots, weirdly enough. We default to a lot of instinctive behaviors, and we aren't always operating at the top rung of cognition either. Being human works like that, it's really that simple and not malicious if you're not reading that into it.

As we're all aware, it is being read into, and your experience is exactly why; you now feel worried every time you get a notif, you've been outed as a supposed transphobe, and while it is incredibly fortunate you stopped this from transpiring on your RP blog, it still transpired somewhere and has had a negative effect. If they find they correct thing or set of things, they can get so many more people to dogpile you over it. Get enough people to do that, make someone miserable enough, especially people who are already going through a hard enough time already, they'll leave.

It is a terroristic act, and it has the effect of all terroristic acts; people are afraid to exist outside of shifting bounds (that shifting is a part of the terrorism). They can't have an opinion, write any muse/topic they wish, be honest on their own blogs, support the "wrong" topics, muns, or blogs. Attacking people for a mistake, not allowing them to address it either, just furthers all of that. It's showing the community what happens when you aren't on the "right" side, even if that isn't even the case. They certainly turn on their own quickly enough.

So, of course, it's a culture of fear and it is disturbing as hell. No one has any right to make someone feel unsafe over fiction or a hobby or a difference of opinion. Everyone has the right to say whatever they want on their own blogs, to talk openly, and yes, to try to talk to others without feeling at risk.

Even if what someone says is genuinely unpleasant. This isn't the way one handles it. By all means, have a problem with something, have a problem with someone, but grow up and talk to them openly, without bringing everyone you can dredge up to join in. I have no issue with people arguing, I have an issue with bullying. If it's your whole goal to harass people without consequences to the end result of deactivation and lockstep behavior from everyone else, that's what you're doing, folks. Bullying.

If you can't win an argument, especially one your own ass began, in any other way than this, you're not engaging in an argument.

[tinkdw]

Hi Tink! I didn't realize how far down the rabbit hole I'd fallen looking through your blog, but I found a post about A Most Holy Man from way back when about how Jensen improvised that bit about the Impala being stolen and you said you thought it was bad (paraphrasing) and I was just wondering why? (I mean obviously murder is bad but in terms of characterization, I guess) I hope this makes sense - it feels like it doesn't, sorry!

Hello!

Yeah, I did explain that I felt this line was out of character and out of sync with the development of Dean’s character throughout season 12-13 and absolutely it clicked in place for me 100% when Jensen said he added this line in that 

A. no I wasn’t nuts to have thought this in the first place as clearly it was NOT written as part of the script and therefore the fact that the rest of the characterisation and development works perfectly if you remove this line makes my wrinkles smooth out in deep pleasure as an analytical person who felt this one line totally stuck out like a sore thumb and didn’t fit at all with the rest of his characterisation or the plan of his character development

B. shows again how Jensen bless him can be so on the money about some stuff and yet so backwards and antiquated in his perception of who Dean is in others. It’s like he sees parts of the development but not all and suffocates those parts he doesn’t see/like sometimes because he just doesn’t understand that this isn’t OOC, it’s entirely IN character it’s just that his character had a facade up and now he’s letting it down. He’s played the facade so well he thinks it’s actually Dean sometimes... It fits perfectly with his denying the Game of Thrones line which revealed that Dean loves reading for pleasure and is a massive geek, the Taylor Swift line, leaving Sam when he knows he is undeniably dead, this moment... there’s more, the list is not that long really but they are some key moments where the writers and the analytical meta writers all squee over this exposition of his character fitting all together and all making sense in the big puzzle of Dean and Jensen just sometime doesn’t get because his perception of Dean omits these aspects and unfortunately for him this overall theme for Dean is only coming out stronger and stronger as the sublimation dies out. I say unfortunately because this basically means either Jensen is going to keep having to either change lines while the writer’s out of sight or get firmly told he just has to nut up and do it as per a variety of outcomes for the previous examples I’ve given. As the show is coming to the point where this is becoming more and more common and blatant the latter is likely to happen though, let’s be real. They’re not going to let go of the repeated characterisation and puzzle box of Dean that’s taken 13 years to build just because it takes a few takes to get Jensen to figure it out. Jensen continually tells us he is an actor and not a writer and is happy to let them get on with the job as long as he understands and once he does he’s totally on board (ie. Mary in 12x22) so likely they’ll just do that some more.

Back to the car line, well, essentially Baby is a metaphor for Dean’s emotional state. I think this has been confirmed by one of the writers on twitter some time though I don’t have the exact details but regardless it’s blatant. My tag for it is #baby is deans soul.

Eg. We discover that Dean is the one who chose Baby, not John then consistently we see her as representing his state of mind. When he’s out of hunting and masking himself with Lisa Baby is under a cover (masked), when Dean loses his faith in Cas when he becomes Godstiel Baby is wrecked and his repairing of her is a metaphor for his repairing his own mental state, when Dean gets sent to purgatory Baby is wrecked, when Dean gets rid of the Mark he cleans Baby up methodically and repeatedly, she’s gleaming (in his booty shorts), when they realise the Darkness is destroying the world Dean’s relief is short lived and Baby gets beaten up within that same episode, when Cas is dead and Dean can’t cope Baby is filthy, now that Dean is possessed apparently we don’t see Baby for a while... 

So yes Baby is a metaphor for Dean’s soul and throughout seasons 12 and 13 in particular Dean has been getting so much mentally healthier, more open with his emotions, more honest, just so much better overall (apart from his wavering and descent into darkness from mid s13 of course leading to Michael) but in general his view of HIMSELF has been so much better. He’s openly admitting that he has sublimated a lot in the past, then he shows us so much of himself. He goes around bonding with retro kids over doc martens and energy drinks and shows his relatively silly fear in his Indiana Jones moment which is so daft in relation to his usual life. He talks to Sam about his happy endgame. He gives Cas a freaking mixtape. He talks openly to his mother about his feelings I mean Chuck almighty! HE LETS SAM GO! That’s a huge one, he lets Sam go and be the leader he truly is and stops trying to control him. Etc Etc Etc. 

Then in this episode which frankly was boring but the META aspect of it was fantastic, it was a whole episode based on what’s right and wrong, do the ends justify the means etc, where do they sit, Sam being the leader again and convincing Dean of the right path and all that jazz, well, it kinda made zero sense for Dean to backtrack to season 8/10 style most repressed angry can’t see the good for the bad just wants to smash everything Dean like? ? ? This isn’t season 13 Dean. Sure season 13 Dean is struggling but he’s generally just so much better, he’s not regressed in that respect that much wowzers. IDK it just felt totally off and not true to real Dean, who we had been getting so much exposition of leading up to this huge flip at the end of the season which was SUPPOSED to make us see how this was totally bad because that’s not who Dean truly is because of this exposition of his character over 2 years and then relatively close to the climax we got this line which was such a performance of angry not-who-Dean-truly-is-but-who-he-is-when-shit-is-so-bad-he’s-lost-himself-Winchester. It just took away from the whole “blue blue blue blue blue blue blue - RED” thing by having a red right in that part leading up to the climax you know? It makes you not see the pattern of how WRONG the red is.

Anyway, that’s why I was very happy when I heard that it wasn’t scripted, because this wasn’t part of Dean’s characterisation or the writing plan at all, which is what takes us forward. The throwaway line by Jensen doesn’t mean anything, what matters in terms of seeing how it’s going to be written moving forwards is what the writers write and that all makes perfect sense. It’s all the BLUE ie. who Dean really is underneath all the crap and that Dean is beautiful.

[missbaphomet]

Nowhere in this post did I instruct anyone to get an exam annually. In fact all I said is you should see a doctor regularly. I am aware that annual isn't the standard in other countries, in fact I have a poll about it on my blog. I also answered an ask in regards to the same thing. Also I never mentioned mammograms. In fact I don't believe I have ever talked in depth about mammograms, which is abnormal seeing as breast cancer runs in my family, I used to get masses in my breasts when I was younger, AND I've had a bilateral breast reduction. I've also not had a mammogram. How about you pull your head out of your ass and read the actual words on the post.

Pap smears are a preventative measure. The Papanicolaou test is designed to screen for precancerous or cancerous cells so that you can be treated before you get full blown cancer.

Pap smears ARE NOT DIAGNOSTIC. Abnormal results mean MORE TESTS. You cannot definitively declare cancer from a pap smear alone, but a pap smear can tell your doctor if something is starting to go wrong/will go wrong in the near future. Cancer rates and annual vs non-annual pap smears are not correlated BECAUSE PAP SMEARS ARENT DIAGNOSTIC, AND since an abnormal screening gets more tests to definitively say if it's cancer or not, having a pap smear annually vs not annually DOESNT CHANGE DIAGNOSTIC RATES, YOU JUST FIND IT SOONER. Not to mention according to this post as well as the poll I ran on my blog, most people either don't go to the obgyn or only go when something is wrong. As such, some women will get cervical cancer DESPITE NEVER HAVING HAD A PAP SMEAR. This is google tier information babe.

Bad experiences aren't an excuse TO DIE SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY OF PREVENTABLE AND TREATABLE DISEASES. I promise you, lying on your death bed as cancer ravages your body is infinitely worse than "the doctor looked at my genitals for a few minutes >///<". I'll take a Q-tip up the hoo-ha and mild embarrassment over an early grave, thanks.

Bestie if your obgyn is apparently leaving you bleeding then you need to ADVOCATE FOR YOUR FUCKING SELF. Tell them to stop, find a new doctor, fuck, file a complaint, goddamn SAY SOMETHING. If you won't speak up then you are literally the only person to blame. Dying of cancer because you don't want to find a new doctor isn't the revolutionary take you apparently think it is, and in fact it's kind of a brain-dead stupid one.

I'm the one lacking empathy? You're fucking fear mongering about healthcare! I'm advocating people take care of themselves and their health despite discomfort or anxieties surrounding medical treatment (which is extremely common), meanwhile you're telling people to avoid medical care altogether because they *might* (extra emphasis on might) have a bad time. Sis, this mindset kills people. Real actual people die every single day because they refuse to seek out medical care. I've had fucking family members die because they didn't want to seek out medical care. I promise losing a loved one hurts so, so fucking much more than the embarrassment of getting in the stirrups for a few minutes. Grow the fuck up.

Also extremely funny you'd accuse me of joining 'the chorus of "stop whining"' since I am OPENLY AND VERY LOUDLY ADVOCATING FOR PEOPLE TO SPEAK UP FOR THEMSELVES IN REGARDS TO THEIR HEALTHCARE.

So what if, instead of berating people for being afraid of an invasive, often painful and traumatising procedure you... Listed times when they ARE necessary (spoiler: it's not every year!), talked about how to find a gentle provider, or donated to an organisation that provides free gynaecology to people without insurance?

Babygirl. Sweetie. Bestie. Friend. Honey. Darling.

I HAVE RESOURCES FOR ALL OF THIS

ON MY BLOG

I am a literal sex activist. I'm fighting tooth and goddamn nail to make sure that women get the reproductive care they need and to ensure that they can do so safely. I post sex ed information on my blog extremely frequently. I advocate for people to speak up if they feel they're not being treated properly. I donate to The Yellowhammer Fund, which is a reproductive rights and justice organization servicing the deep south that ALSO provides feminine hygiene products as well as Plan B to anyone who needs it. My fucking kink club has a whole ass cabinet full of pads, tampons, pantyliners, plan B, condoms, the whole shebang just. In a cabinet in the gender neutral bathroom that ANYONE can use. Fuck, if I had a friend that needed Plan B but wasn't a club member, I could deadass just ask someone in leadership to unlock the door for me and I could just grab some, no questions asked.

So maybe learn to read? At like the bare minimum?

Hey uh unrelated but this was found on the blog of someone who reblogged my tesla post, not the trans health one but like. THIS is the kind of shit I'm talking about. I didn't even look for this, it fucking fell into my lap. This is the kind of shit I see that made me feel it was necessary to post the trans health post.

Bitch go to the goddamn doctor!!! Cervical cancer is goddamn dangerous. STIs can be dormant for YEARS and infect every person you have sex with and kill you.

THE USE THE SPECULUM TO BETTER ASSIST IN YOUR CARE, NOT AS SOME SICK PERVERSE PLEASURE.

I am begging on my fucking knees PLEASE SEE A GODDAMN DOCTOR REGULARLY.

I promise you they see enough genitals over the course of the day that yours aren't even a blip on their radar unless something is seriously wrong.

[dramionediscussion]

You tagged this with "proper protesting". This is coming across as gatekeeping how people want to show their allyship with Trans people, and by extension the entire LGBT community, by not purchasing anything HP-related. It is their right to do so. Not purchasing HP products and HP books is a valid form of protest. It may not do much in your eyes, but to the people who are doing it, it makes them feel good they are not supporting a bigot.

It mostly hurts the independent creators since a lot of merchandise is not "official" as many of the houses are still vastly underrepresented in any official capacity. When you are buying from independent sellers she does not see a single bit of those proceeds. You are only supporting a small business owner and the fandom.

I do not understand this argument. There is a very big difference between buying from an independent person selling on Etsy and buying official merch from the HP store or another major brand doing a collab. No one mentioned buying from independent sellers/creators. The person I responded to specifically mentioned previously they will still buy books by JKR, go to the parks, and buy merch that JKR will benefit financially from because they don't care if she gets money from it. They want it, her views don't dissuade them from their love for new HP stuff. If you wanna buy a random Hufflepuff sticker from some person off of Redbubble, okay fine. That is not what we were talking about.

There's no "justice" in shaming people who buy merchandise either, especially since they might be aware of how the finances actually work. Nearly all of her money/wealth comes from book sales as Harry Potter is the most sold book series ever published at 450 million copies, and has been translated into at least 88 languages, including Braille. The only way of protesting against her that would "hurt her wallet" would be to never buy new editions of the books and for all books to stop being sold. It would mean the death of the fandom for future generations.

These people came to my blog to talk about her and tell me they don't care, they will still support her and buy stuff from her. I didn't ask about this, I didn't previously make a comment about JKR or merch, nothing. This was a random ask we got sent so I responded with my opinion. And my opinion was a judgemental one. I cannot respect bigots. And I don't care what JKF financials are, how much she makes and how she makes it. She donates to organizations that are trying to take away people's rights. She is an asshole, and it doesn't matter to me if buying one of her books ends up ultimately giving her one cent. That is one cent to many.

Also, sorry about this but calm down, HP isn't going anywhere. There are far more people who support her or don't care about her opinions than those who do, unfortunately. Those people will still buy the books, publishers will still make new ones, merch will still be sold, she will still get money. She is even getting a new show. The fandom won't ever die.

So me being a judgmental bitch won't start a revolution.

Only individuals can decide if they want to stop being fans, and that's well within their rights to do, but it isn't necessary in order to object what she espouses.

There is a thing called "separating the art from the artist". Some people can do that, but others can't. She ruined the story for some people, myself included. You might not get it, but it is still a valid feeling.

If you want to protest her beliefs and hate speech in a way that will have an impact, the best way is by not following her online, and reporting everything she does that you hear about until she loses her "voice" and can't openly attack others online anymore. You can also start a petition to have her banned from social media for using it for hate speech as that's an offense non famous people are regularly banned for. Even if she made new accounts, most people wouldn't believe they were really hers.

Here's the thing, people already do that. But she is a well-known person, so no matter what she does, it will make headlines. She also uses a platform owned by another bigot who won't ban her. So petitions, reports etc, won't work. The only way for a normal person to protest is not buying her stuff, not buying official HP merch etc. Again to you, it won't make a difference, but to the people doing this, it will matter.

-Lisa

She is already rich enough. If I decide to buy HP merchandise because I love the franchise, I won't make her richer.

Again, okay....it's your money. She is not gonna use it wisely my opinion, and she is being sued so it may help her legal fees. But great for you, you get more merch!

-Lisa