#i didn't know until like probably a year ago that narcissus flowers and daffodils are the same thing

[nexus-nebulae]

been thinking a lot lately about the story of narcissus and whether or not it's more of a blessing or a curse to eventually become so abundant that you are considered plain or mundane. thinkin about daffodils

[renthony]

i want to chime in as another person- my mind was changed on NPD years ago but it was only because of like, real human people talking about their actual experiences that helped me realize it was not The Evil Disorder (TM) in the same way that I realized ASPD wasn't THe Evil Disorder (TM). I guess I was maybe more likely to realize something was up because i also hit a bunch of the diagnostic criteria for it but like, when literally all you hear is "narcissist just means someone is a self centered asshole" it's hard to realize that that's not actually what it is at all.

and they for real taught us that shit in school. we had a whole discussion about the myth of narcissus and how obviously that hurt ~everyone else~ more than narcissus, even though he literally starved to death and turned into a flower. it took me until i was like 17 and someone else went "hey thats kind of fucked up" before i was like oh yeah. that was probably not something he did for fun huh

idk where i'm going with this but i respect the hell out of you being willing to brave the internet goblins and be like "stop being an asshole about ppl with npd" because its gotta hurt way more when people are being an asshole about something you actually got. i made like one or two posts ages ago about the "narc abuse" ableist bullshit and i remember it being enough of a headache even when it completely and totally was not personal for me bc i do not have it

oh uh idk im sure you know this but for the people in the back sitting around, aspd is antisocial personality disorder and people with aspd are also not evil malicious serial killers in waiting or whatever the ~common interpretation~ is and people with aspd are just as capable of being good friends and normal ass people who don't run around cackling evilly or whatever and kicking puppies, just like anyone else. but buying into ableist mythology about people's diagnoses is absolutely going to cut you off from other regular people who are just living their lives and is also associated with higher rates of violence against other people :,) bigots kill

To be honest, a large chunk of the reason I get so vocal about NPD is because of how bad the ableism has wormed its way into my head. It's pretty much a daily occurrence that my housemates have to remind me that asking for help isn't manipulative and that I'm not being an evil little monster just for needing reassurance. Anti-cluster-B ableism curls up in your head and feeds on all your insecurities and struggles and it's so, so goddamn hard to deal with.

I can't ask for help getting out of bed on high pain days without getting paranoid that I've somehow manipulated my husband into being my reluctant servant. Doesn't matter how many times he reminds me that he's here because he loves me, and how helping me out of bed is an expression of that love. The internalized ableism still makes me so deeply fucking afraid that I'm the shitty one.

I have a daffodil tattooed on my head as part of my big floral scalp piece, and it's for Narcissus. Ovid's version of the story is the one that's always stuck with me the most, where Narcissus is tricked into his downfall by Nemesis. His worst crimes were "rejecting proposals from people who felt entitled to his body" and "being kind of an asshole, which is something that literally everyone is guilty of at times."

In the end, Narcissus didn't waste away because he was too self-absorbed for anything else, it happened because he was treated with trickery instead of compassion.