#i didn't get the scholarship
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One day you're doing better and one day you get hit with a wave of 'you're a failure' mood
#i didn't get the scholarship#i really shouldn't be disappointed#but everyone around me kept going that I had a shot#and my mom and aunt already had ideas how much money I would get#and now poof#my best grades since starting uni weren't enough#my sister tried to cheer me up but it only reminded me of her scholarship in high school#and I'm back to comparing myself to her#not fun you guys#addie stuff
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#autism#actually autistic#autism meme#When the Scholarship Panel ask about your past academic achievements.#People are telling me that it sound like I nailed it but I should just pretend I didn't get it so...#Thankfully it never occured to me that my first ever interview had panel mambers who are part of a governement body before I sat it#I feel like the text is still somewhat true but you only get good at something by actually doing it#academia#scholarship#lolita dress#When I Got The X Autism Instead Of Being Good At Math Or Science meme#Science#science meme#?#Also since this meme seems to be from the reddit folk#r/196#196
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Thinking about domestic Lautski
Let them be happy
#i like to think pete goes to u of m on scholarship because why not?#they're so silly and i want them to be happy#they're the only ones that get a remotely happy ending in both their stories#let them graduate and move out of hatchetfield and survive and live their lives like normal people who didn't face The Horrors#hatchetfield#starkid hatchetfield#peter spankoffski#pete spankoffski#stephanie lauter#lautski#nerdy prudes must die#npmd
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CHALLENGE ♡
I came up with this idea just recently thanks to Pinterest. You can draw your bully oc (if you don’t have, you can draw canon character) with the other half of heart. You can draw in digital or traditional, it doesn’t matter 🙏
(Reblog this post with your arts OvO)
#I continue to get used to Paint but I understand that traditional is more familiar and convenient for me#please don't mind the fact that I didn't draw the eyes it was hard for me#I will be very grateful if you take part in this#art challenge#mary brown#bully oc#bully oc fanart#bully scholarship edition#bully cce#bully game#bully rockstar#canis canem edit#bully canis canem edit#bully se#bully preps#bully fanart#bullworth academy#canis canem#rockstar games
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a current day nils and a 90s college student nils who's way too intense about his internship walk into a bar
#hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii nils hiiii 💗🤭#let me get my important tags out of the way so i can write you a novella in the rest of them#ts4#ts4 cas#ts4 edit#the sims 4#nils#i've been exploring his character 🏃♂️#his full name is nils pelletier he's from canada originally he went to nyc for college and stayed there forever#he didn't grow up with much but he was really good at school so he got a scholarship and he was very very determined to become rich#he interned at frankie's dad's company and was offered a full time position after he graduated yayy you made it. i guess :| (evil company)#he's always been very stern very serious very quiet he's never had many if any friends. he was a deeply unhappy child#his parents weren't even bad they're nice and supportive and tried their best#he was married and has one son but he hasn't been married for a while. i don't know if it's divorce or death or what yet#it was the first girl he ever had a relationship with and he was also her first relationship#a very dull marriage but again not a bad one. she was nice and supportive and tried her best#it seemed like it was what they were supposed to do. get married and have a child bam done you did what was expected congrats#they barely ever even argued it was just. well loveless seems a harsh word. and 'well they were friends at least' seems untruthful#anyway he often has to be frankie's handler because frankie's dad is his boss and he does what he's told always#frankie's really difficult though
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I'm honestly fully ready to just call my bank and tell them to do a chargeback but i'm giving the college bureaucracy a chance first. But as i said. I don't care who does it and how i get it, those €80 are gonna be back in my bank account by the end of october or so help me
#i didn't even tell youse about the fun i had at the student office#i got there i asked the guy at the counter what's happening with my enrolment process bc it has been on ''process has started'' for a week#and then some. this guy tells me they're testing a bot or whatever that automatically ''starts'' the process when the payment has been#received. so i'm like okay wtf. he goes to check my request manually but i notice he's looking at the one with a page of text#and that's my second request where i explained i want my money back so i go hey hey hey that's actually my refund request#this man goes and asks why i enrolled if i hadn't had all my exam grades marked yet#i look this man in the eye and say ''i wanted to ensure i'd be enrolled on time'' and he goes quiet#because i'm assuming he realised i tried to enrol the very day enrolments opened and here i was two days before they closed in the#student office asking wtf was happening to my enrolment process#so anyway. he goes and tells me i need to cancel my enrolment and enrol again and that he'll forward my refund request but can't#guarantee anything. and i'm like sure fine but now my scholarship page says i don't have to pay anything#so like whatever decision you lot make my bank is gonna know i made a payment i didn't have to make#and that if you refuse to refund me i'm getting a chargeback. so you know.#in any case i did all i could to make sure i was enrolled on time and still had to be on edge bc i had to restart the process two days#before the enrolment period ended. i deserve those €80 and then some
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my cousin just started her first year at Brown (that ivy league in rhode island) and I had this dream I was facetiming her while she was in her dorm and we were talking about our plans for the future. and when I told her the college I was planning to attend she started laughing at me and said that school is gonna get shut down in a couple years and I'm gonna have to transfer somewhere else 😑 it was very realistic
#it's funny bc I told my mom those plans irl and she said she didn't recommend taking that path.....bc she had tried the exact same thing#meanwhile (also irl) the private uni my sister went to has offered me like $30k to attend but I fear it'll just be high school all over lol#I don't wanna speak to anymore nepo babies or child prodigies </3#also all that scholarship money......and the remaining tuition is the same amount it costs to just attend a community college instead#ig theres ur reminder to not stress over college applications :D even dumb bitches like me can get accepted. paying for it is an issue tho
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...
#so my mom's wake thing was today and that was a lot. not in an emotional sense but in a im standing here talking for 3hrs#to ppl i dont kno or barely kno. ya kno? but it was good bc so many ppl showed up to talk abt her#so many people. my mom made a huge impact on the school system. so many ppl relied on her. she encouraged at least 2 ppl to get their#master. for one person to specilize in helping the dyslexic after her experience advocating for 3 dyslexic daughters. she wrote and was#awarded a 10000 dollar grant for special needs and intervention curriculum. which will affect so many lives.#everyone loved her. she's gonna get a track meet named after her and a scholarship created in her honor.#she was an amazing person and she affected a lot of lives and im glad she was my mom. and she raised at least one jem in my littlest#sister who is so sweet and is a great teacher. god but there was some weird stuff too. were pretty sure her old boss was in love with her.#and there were some weird comments abt her being a strong woman or this woman doing so much and its like hm y do i detect a note of sexism#y not say she was an amazing person? y the surprise? weird comments about how pretty i looked. which yes i looked great lol. my funeral fit#was cute. we did bright colors bc it was a celebration not a dower event. and im sure it was ment well but it was a lil weird. and then#everyone was telling my grandma what a great job she did raising my mom and like god fuck off she didn't do jack. my mom was great despite#her terrible mother. ugh. but altogether it was good that everyone was able to express their love for her. it was def a day that was for#them mostly. i mean partly for us but mostly for them. none of us even cried. ay but we have 2 more parties in her honor#bc everyone loved her so much we have to do one in her hometown too. plus a personal friends get together. ugh. im so tired#i wish i wasnt the most awkward. eye contact avoidant person in the room but like ya kno. what can ya do?#unrelated
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Did this for fun and i love how the elements turned out :D
i may have cooked a bit with the shading here,,, the lighting needs some work but i kinda like how it looks nonetheless
Reference i used for the pose:
#art#samdoespausechallenge#a little update#i think?#i dunno if I've said this here but i got a scholarship :DD This month's been hectic as hell but it's worth it!#i honestly didn't think I'd get accepted haha. things are gonna be a bit easier financially now :DDDDD#anyway back to suffering from college *sleeps indefinitely*
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a fucked up but in retrospect kinda funny thing my ex did was when he was breaking up with me he gave me a bag of like knives and blades and shit after knowing i was already having a shitty month and had been worried about relapsing and all he said about it was "you're not gonna like, cut or anything right? i'd feel so bad" and then went to subway to set off his ptsd so i wouldn't be the only one upset
THEN when i got home and texted he should never do that again OR trust a person he knows is thinking about doing that to not lie about thinking about doing that, he responded "well, why? like you said you weren't gonna do it" which is such a bitchass response and the audacity of it is what makes it funny now
#like the fuck?#sometimes i think he wanted me dead or something lol#and for anyone who's gonna be an ass in the comments#i had been having health issues that had gotten way worse over the course of a year#and those health issues had just caused me to fail my finals and my course and lose my scholarship#in addition to getting diagnostic tested a week after the final and being told i NEEDED to be on meds the whole time#and the relapsing shit was not a 'try to guilt him thing'#i told him genuinely before the final i knew i would probably fail and i was worried i'd be tempted to relapse after but i didn't want to#and he decided to dump me after the diagnostic test#he also made me cancel plans for my birthday AFTER he decided to break up with me#but before he told me#plans as in plans with my family
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Me joking with my mom while cooking: aren’t you super proud of my cooking skills!! There's no match for me!! Im unstoppable!!
Mom in a solemn voice: but im really disappointed in you
Me: ????
Mom: pursuing your Master's degree, it seems like you no longer care about continuing your studies, it’s like you've frozen that idea.
#way to kill the vibe mom#she is still disappointed that unlike my bachelor's education#i didn't immediately jump to a random university and study whatever random major they gave me#even though i could’ve gotten a neat scholarship and studied something i really liked at the time#at the time i had no idea what im soig and where i wanted to go so i just followed along#but im not suffering through getting a master's degree for something i dont even care about#what she doesnt know is i have a plan. i have been following the plan ever since graduation.#if plan goes perfectly im supposed to start applying either this year or the next#she has no clue sometimes i stay up really late thinking about all the decisions i made and things i can no longer change#i dont want to do the same mistakes again#also its not like i can really afford it right now without a proper scholarship#i get she wants me to be the best at everything but the way she goes about it always makes me feel like a failure#mom...
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Find it very interesting that Chai is labeled as a slacker and is on paper having no prior work experience + is called an idiot on several occasions + is stated to be a college dropout
And somehow he managed to get into college in the first place
I'm going to be contrarian and say this man actually had a scholarship but struggled with certain aspects of academia, consequently losing the funding he needed and forcing him to struggle to find a career with no credentials and no experience
#mel talks hi fi rush#you can find ways to get through school by doing the bare minimum#and with how Chai is I'm willing to bet he saddled up a bunch of extracurriculars that helped him qualify#for said scholarships#I would even goes as far to say he is fully capable of studying things he has interest in but#lacked a support network to assist with things he struggled with#and who is to say he didn't do odd jobs or run errands to get enough to survive#but had no idea how to put that in a resume#the beacon (original intro song / streamer mode version) has very telling lyrics to me#also unrelated but the disability commentary is there and it leaves such an impact in my eyes#will one day make a post talking about my favorite line#edit: saw a lot of people saying it's not a serious game so Chai might have just dropped out to get said arm#which I'm not... a fan of#I could see the possibility and 100% get behind the reasoning#and still manage to make it super angsty because (vague gesture)#but this makes way more sense to me personally#gods is it apparent I have no one to infodump and discuss this game with
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Sometimes I see people providing "context" that references just enough specific correct things that the batshit stuff they're also saying in the same breath flies under the radar
#black women didn't get access to the labor market until the 1960s is an INSANE thing to say and in literal and direct opposition to so much#of the scholarship black women have been doing themselves over generations about the shifting forms and manifestations#of their oppression#anyway#stud is absolutely a word in context born from AAVE and the conversation about that obvi gets dynamic and complex#but in no world is it reasonable to say#black women only got access to the formal labor market in the 1960s and only by being more masculine & that's why only black women are studs#that is just so fundamentally wrong at so many levels that I literally don't even know how to fact check the post#one of my aunties had self identified as a stud for decades before I was born and is a literal living rejection of that entire tiktok#but i don't have it in me to dig up the receipts i would need to justify picking that battle
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#WELP i misread the enrollment dates for the fall quarter 😵💫#i was thinking enrollment didn't open until the end of this month so i wasn't worrying about it too much#but apparently enrollment opened at the end of july not the end of august#and the class i need to enroll in has a maximum of ten spaces#which means that now i get to be stressed about it filling up before i can scrape the cash together#have i mentioned lately how fucking exhausting and hopeless the job search has been?#so tired of submitting job applications to jobs i am qualified for and hearing absolutely nothing back#or in some cases hearing back after like two months ''we've hired another applicant'' without ever offering an interview#also i briefly thought i'd be able to apply for this one writing program scholarship#but though *i'm* eligible it turns out that it's only for journalism/novel/poetry courses#and nothing in the film/television stream of the writing program -_-#boo urns et cetera#anyway i'll figure it out somehow i just needed to do some stress venting in the tags here
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romanticising old university cities seems so silly to me. you're not that special for studying in an old building
#currently in Oxford for a month and while i'm enjoying my time here i can't seem to get the excitement about it#it is a beautiful place but its universities aren't the only places where you can get a proper education#i have friends to left romania to study in the uk and i'm like??? for this?? you left for this and student debt?#(btw - studying in romania cost me nothing and i even got a scholarship - i'm not an exception or tremendously studious -#with a few exceptions most of my colleagues didn't have to pay for their studies)#venting my frustrations a bit - i don't really care that much i just can't make sense of the air of superiority of some of these people#//on another note-the city is very pretty especially now in the beginning of autumn and i love browsing through its many used book stores
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Obligatory I hate my job post
#my supervisor is so fucking disorganized. she's not doing anything right. I was supposed to get paid today but she fucked up my hours#she's supposed to write a reference letter for a scholarship SHE forced us to apply for and hasn't done so yet. the scholarship is due TODA#she decided she was going to work remote on Monday and didn't tell anyone until one of my coworkers had to CALL her#and yesterday she said we were meeting where we normally meet but no one is here.#and she barely picks up her phone.#I still have three weeks with this woman oh my fucking god.
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