#i didn't get diagnosed ocd btw; my therapist said i had obsessive tendencies but not really the compulsive criteria

[indigoaster]

If you ever happen to see me walking and for whatever reason you happen to look long enough to be making observations and those observations happen to be that I'm staring at the ground just ahead of me, moving at an inconsistent pace, seeming to jolt at random moments due to suddenly switching from long adult strides to "toddler learning the stairs meets choir kid" step-together-step-together, then shhhhhhhhhhh....no you didn'ttttttt

Cause you see there's a feral neurodivergence goblin running wild in my brain who's a big fan of "oooo shiny!", and if something catches its eye it locks in, and if it becomes aware of my feet + any cracks, colors, textures, or different materials I'm walking on that will be the only thing it can focus on until said feet stop moving. So you see in order to appease the beast each foot needs to step on each area of Different™ and in an equal amount or in a consistent, balanced, alternating pattern that ensures an equal number of steps on Different™. Because if one foot steps on something that the other doesn't that foot feels 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 and the goblin will continue to state that it is 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜, that it is 𝙪𝙣��𝙫𝙚𝙣, that it is 𝙙𝙞𝙛𝙛𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩 on a non stop loop until it is rightfully evened out by completing the missing step or an acceptable substitute balancing step is agreed upon, and trust me, you don't want to be part of those negotiations.

Signed,

A person who has been sat down for half an hour yet can still feel one yellowish carpet foot and one purplish carpet foot distinctly