#i didn't forget my lavellan

[bloedewir]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard

There's some post-game thoughts I can mark as spoiler ones. Read only if you finished the game.

I love the game. Really. The grand finale was magnificent, the main plot idea is painfully touching and I adore the heavy weight of sorrow I bear after I finished the game. The best kind of bittersweet grief of possible.

However it doesn't mean the game is flawless. There's some stuff I didn't get at all.

Why there's no option to ask Solas about the Forgotten Ones? Like, hello, you have an encyclopedia of elven lore in your head, can't you ask a few optional questions about weird ancient guy you've met during the journey? Nadas Dirthalen? (Or it's because da5 is going to be about new dwarven and/or qunari lore and Forgotten Ones/Executors?)

You also can't say anything about the murals.. which is kinda strange. Why didn't Rook comment those mind-blowing revelations? For Harding, at least?

Evanuris. Solas' story is beautifully written, Mythal' story was also revealed more than before (even if she's in all 4 games) so we get to know her better. But Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain? Fine, forget other evanuris.. but the spectacular duo? Spirits and demons are kinda the same, like two sides of a coin. Solas is Wisdom and Pride, Mythal is Benevolence and Retribution (as Morrigan said). Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are just.. bad? They're blighted and corrupted now but what about the past? Where's the duality of their personalities? No chance for redemption now because they don't want or need it, I get the idea, but the story itself? I wish there would be more about them. We do have something on Ghilan'nain tho, like: she created hallas but can't create them any longer and she has a full control over the Blight as if it's modeling clay (+ some Bellara' thoughts on a matter of "navigation" and "healing" and path Ghilan'nain chose for the People). But Elgar'nan? He likes tyranny. And he still had his hair. Uhm.. ┐⁠(⁠ ⁠∵⁠ ⁠)⁠┌

Romances. Can't say much because I didn't try all of them but Neve's and Lucanis'.. uhm. It doesn't feel like a written romance, y'know? Just a bonus lines so you doesn't have to feel lonely or whatever. Characters are on their own and don't have connection with Rook till the very end. There's no impact and Rook is, ironically, just an enjoyable side benefit™ but nothing more. Comparing to datv romance situation solavellan romance is hot as hell and full of content. And it says a lot.

Inquisitor. I do like how their absence was explained... yet Lavellan was robbed. I don't want to see a cringe Fade therapy session with Solas telling his tragic lovestory to a random stranger (Rook) and whining about just how much he misses his gorgeous wife (and I'm solavellan). But adding a few tiny details? The bare minimum: take the dai tarot card and place it on the wall in a music room. That already could've been much better. (mods mods mods 🤞🤞🤞).

Dialogue timing and triggers. I suspect dialogues are cool but I can't know for sure. In my first playthrough I didn't even know Davrin and Lucanis are not a big fans of each other before the Weisshaupt quest because I didn't hear it. DATV locations are much smaller than it was in DAI, so you just don't get the chance to hear those dialogues unless you find a trigger point and just stay there waiting to play all lines.

Some of that is not a tragedy and, theoretically, could be improved by magnificent people creating mods. But sometimes datv seems kinda unfinished like there's a missing puzzle pieces as if content was cut out with no replacement.

Despite some questionable moments and a bit of criticism I love this game regardless. It's dark and atmospheric, absolutely beautiful and mesmerizing. And analysis of Regret? Choices and consequences, acceptance, struggling, desperation, guilt..? The work Bioware did deserves to be highly appreciated. The final left me in tears, sobbing and grieving, and heartbroken - that's all I ever wanted of Dragon Age 💜

[dross-the-fish]

Do u think Solas would have killed Lavellan if it has been her instead of Varric?

to be honest I think he would have killed her if she had earnestly tried to stop him. It doesn't even mean he didn't have feelings for her but looking at his track record caring about people has not been a deterrent before so there's no reason it would have been at the time. Not for a person he's only known for a year and hasn't spoken a word to for almost a decade. Varric was his friend, Felassan was his friend, who knows how many friends he has buried because his mission comes first. That is something that has been consistent with his character, that he will put the mission above his own wants or interests. To a point this is because the game requires certain plot points to be met and the story would be over if he could be swayed before the final battle. That's partly why I don't like the idea of romanced Lavellan or the high approval Inquisitor being framed as somehow "exceptional." Because for 1000s of years no one else was.

Stripped to the barest components (time-frame, interactions, levels of emotional intimacy shared between both parties) there is nothing about the relationship between Solas and the Inquisitor that justifies viewing it that way. It would be a blip even in a regular human life time. I cannot think of any reason to justify why Solas would have spared someone he claimed to love but still held at arms length for a year when one of his closest friends of 1000 years wasn't worth sparing. And if he would spare a romanced inquisitor that doesn't make him look better. It doesn't redeem him. It just says he values his romantic relationships, no matter how brief and uneven they were, over everything else. It would make him a hypocrite and cheapen the one thing that works about his character. his commitment to putting aside his own feelings for "what must be done". I think the dissonance for me comes down to the framing vs the actual logistics and that's been my whole beef with Solas as a character where what I'm told doesn't match what I'm shown. There are people that will argue that Solavellan is a deep romance and it's well written but I've always felt like compared to the other romances it was a bit of an after thought and a very shallow experience that relies heavily on the player to create headcanons to sustain it. It's also one that requires you to create a character that is ultimately ok with never being trusted or treated as an equal and to some degree being willing to forgive being used. Let's not forget in the inquisitor's romance Solas has all the cards. He's the very reason everything in the game is happening and intentionally or not he is responsible for the current state of the world.

He watches the inquisitor shoulder the burden of cleaning up his mess and restoring order to the world but he never gives them more than breadcrumbs or nudges in the right direction. I think what i find the most repulsive is that he would have watched the inquisitor die unknowingly as a direct consequence of his actions while carrying on a romance with them. Case in point, in Trespasser when the mark IS killing the inquisitor it's still ultimately on them to do the leg work to track him down and find him. He's not going to come to them and he only even waits for them to catch up because he needs the anchor. He would not have been by their side or offered them any kind of comfort or protection had something killed them before they could reach him. The inquisitor could also have died at any point from the blight Solas caused in that 10 year span he was gone because they have been on the front lines the whole time. The inquisitor's survival has NEVER been his priority unless there was something he needed from them. He has always viewed them as expendable. He had already committed to thinking of them as a cherished regret. Which is why I fully believe he would have killed the inquisitor if it had been them instead of Varric, even if it was a romanced Lavellan.

[sunsetwaltz]

[Some personal musings on my fav vg romance]

Been thinking about this lately but I don't believe there'll ever be a more romantic pairing for me than Solavellan. It's the way they tug at your heartstrings and stir your emotions. The way they start off seemingly as two nobodies (maybe even outcasts) finding a connection during a tumultuous time but both become larger than life (in the narrative) and turn into a mythical, all encompassing love story.

There's pain, there's laughter, cute moments of flirtation and unexpectedly steamy kisses - all mixed in a tangled knot of truths and lies. Pining, heartbreak, visits in dreams, a language they come to share and communicate in harmony. It's the tragedy of not being enough, of self-denial and an unwillingness to share one's greatest burdens - until at the very last moment, after being released from their duties, their earthly shackles, it is enough. Their love begins anew with a lifelong, no an eternal promise and atonement. It's not the end, not really, not as long as the fandom continues to thrive - like it has for the past decade - and I believe it'll be a ship that continues to endure for quite some time.

Plus let's not forget it's a relationship where you can ask questions and receive insight (and approval!) about the world of Thedas, about topics no other character has really addressed before - or at least not in quite a meaningful manner. And although we later learn Solas has greater motivations, it felt like a relationship that was connected to DAI's narrative at each turn - from the way Solas repeatedly asks after the Inquisitor's wellbeing and driving motives to how he reacts to events throughout the story. How his reactions colour and give further meaning to what we know and thought we knew. How that carries on into the next game and recontextualises the events of the previous game, giving DAI even further replayability.

I like how Solas is one of the (few imo) characters where it felt like you could have a proper discussion, where he didn't have to have the final word (or at least not always lol), and he could admit when he was wrong. I like how differently one could flavour their relationship depending on their own Lavellan, but ultimately the ending is similar - it's heartbreak or righteous anger then a long long ten years of an agonising what if, what next?

Lastly, I really love how this codex entry comes to encompass them far better than the original intended duo:

Except in Solas and Lavellan's case the impressions don't fade. They linger, they endure, they remain.

[the-jennisms]

I've been thinking about my Lavellan's feelings for Solas and how they changed over the twelve years from Inquisition. Especially during the events of Veilguard. I've said bits and pieces of this in responses to people but this is a sort of compilation of those thoughts.

This will be a stupid long essay.

My Lavellan loved Solas, but she knew he was holding something back despite clearly caring about her. When he ended it with no explanation, she was angry, confused. But did not allow herself to fall apart or lash out. And then he vanished with the simple assurance that 'what they had was real.'

There was a time of waiting, hoping he might come back. Confusion and anger for the lack of understanding why he did what he did. And then resignation that he was gone.

My Lavellan, in my headcanon, is estranged from her clan. And had been on not great terms for years. There are still people in her clan she loves and misses. Who love her. But she doesn't really visit them much anymore.

I picture her as someone who argued against tradition. What the Dalish are doing is not working. The creators are not coming back. If they ever existed in the first place. It did not win her a lot of friends. Then she becomes the 'Herald of Andraste' despite her fighting that title every step of the way. Then the Inquisitor. And then she chooses to remove her vallaslin. She did visit between the end of Inquisition to the beginning of Trespasser. And the whispers behind her back were worse then ever before. She wasn't really Dalish anymore was she? She was a flat ear. A champion of the shems. She could never go back to just being herself after that. The rest of her life, Inquisitor would be who she was. For better and worse.

It's a stark reminder of the removal of the proof of her heritage. Of why they were gone. And who removed them. While she didn't blame Solas for telling her the truth about the vallaslin, it is a fact that it made things harder for her.

If the end of Inquisiton had been the last she'd heard of Solas, she could have moved on. He would have just been the one that got away.

But it wasn't the last time. Because she does meet Solas again. Where tells her the truth. Who he really is. What he has done. What he's going to do. Why he left, despite clearly loving her. This time he vanishes with a promise. 'I will never forget you.' If there was any chance to move on after Solas, it was destroyed after Trespasser.

Because for the next ten years she's pursuing him. She, her friends, her agents. All going after Solas. Even if it's not something she's actively doing. He's never too far from her thoughts. She even sometimes sees him in her dreams.

She needs to stop him. She wants to help him. By the time VG happens, any chance for Solas to stop and change probably feels like a foolish dream. One that, despite feeling like she knows better, she still clings to. And then Solas kills Varric.

Disregarding how I feel about Varric's involvement personally. Did not care for it.

At first, disbelief. How could Solas do something like this? Anger. He murdered her friend. Their friend.

Then guilt.

Because she let Varric go. She let Varric follow Solas knowing he belonged in Kirkwall. She and Varric were under no illusions that death was a possibility. She herself had seen how powerful Solas had become. If he wanted to kill her, he easily could have. And Solas was going to do a ritual that would likely kill them. But maybe she thought Solas would hesitate to directly kill someone he cared about.

It hurts to talk about Varric. She had a lot of painful letters to write.

I think VG likely takes place over the course of a year, or at least a few months. But time to mourn is something she doesn't have. Because of a wave of darkspawn ripping the south apart. She is pulled out of 'retirement' to be the Inquisitor again. She disbanded the Inquisition so she starts from a weakened position. Death is everywhere. And she's aware that it was a result of her choices. Their choices. The Elven gods being released was because she (by proxy) both interfered with Solas and failed to stop him. Either way you look at it, she and the man she loved caused so much pain.

It's not a rational line of thought, and she definitely knows that, but emotions don't have brains. And there's no time to do anything but try and save as many people as possible. To hold the line until Rook can kill the gods in the north.

When she meets Rook and talks about Solas. Hearing Solas had saved so many lives was rejuvenating. A reminder that Solas, at his core, cares about people and wants to help. Rook has a moment to either encourage or discourage the Inquisitor about giving up on Solas. Mechanically, it's to let the player choose what their Lavellan wants. But for my Lavellan it was a possible breaking point. Solas certainly hadn't made loving him easy. But my Rook told her that she deserves to be happy. However that might happen.

When she is asked to come to the north for the final time, to help take down the gods, she has things to get in order. Her responsibilities would go to people she trusts. Leliana, Cassandra, Cullen. But she's also putting her affairs in order. Because I think she would know that death against the gods was possible, if not likely. Letters to friends and family. Sending advice, well wishes, and love. She'd leave the letters with Leliana to be delivered. 'If I don't make it back'

We don't know for sure what the Inquisitor knows about Solas' past but I think it's safe to assume that she could have learned them from Morrigan. Regardless of how much she learned, she fights to stop the blight and kill the gods.

When the group is talking about what to do with Solas... it's painful. It's not that he doesn't deserve to be punished for what he done. She wanted to save him. Varric wanted to save him. She asks if nothing can be done to change his mind. It's almost half hearted. And she knows she can't interfere with the choice. If Rook chooses to trap Solas and forcibly bind him. All she can do is ask. Because she loves him.

The final confrontation is in the archon's palace. Up a tower of blight. She had to have started climbing before Elgar'nan had even fallen. Maybe she saw Solas, transformed. Fighting the archdemon from afar, seeing him loosing. She would have had to go to him.

And then the ending happens. He chooses to stop. She knows what she's giving up. She knows it's a sacrifice. But she leaves with him. Because she loves him.

I've seen some people saying their Lavellan would immediately start making out with their sad egg man but I don't think mine would. Not for some time. She's still angry. And things are different. So much time has passed. They have a lot to work through.

But lucky them, they have time. And they can work through it. She wouldn't have come if she didn't believe in them.

I don't really know how to end this thing that matters to no one but myself but yeah. I have a lot of feelings about Solas.

It was a better ending for them then I was expecting lol

[hobnob2020]

The Veilguard review

Big spoilers ahead for the people that haven't finished the game yet.

So after plugging 70+ hours I've finally completed Veilguard.

This will just be a general overview of how I felt about the game, I'll likely do a separate one for Solas/Mythal and Lavellan and one for a Lucanis romance.

First off I want to say that any negative criticism I had for the game I am reminded of how difficult this game was to get off the ground running in the first place; it experienced multiple layoffs, it pulled the team to focus on Anthem when it failed, the team was reduced, OG writers left and multiple people lost their jobs once their work was complete and lets not forget those that worked on this during a pandemic so I think it's important to keep coming back to this so that we can just appreciate what we had as an end product.

Now the end product itself, did I enjoy it? absolutely.

I've laughed, I've been giddy, I've been angry at times and in those final moments was reduced to tears that reconciliations were reached and it was the end of a very long 10 year wait.

I want to start from the beginning where we welcomed our Rooks because holy moly is the character creator detailed. I mean seriously every single Rook I've seen is a catwalk model 😂

Every faction felt different and the brief history to your character was really well done; I went with a female mage elf I the Crows and I loved being a Crow from the get go; the decision that she made that essentially forced her to leave the Crows because she'd basically f*cked up a mission was really interesting because there's still that tension once she returned with Viago (who I adored BTW, his disappointing fatherly persona against Teia's comfort and protectiveness was just perfect) and it set the course for every Rook wanting to prove themselves.

Briefly touching on the Inquisitors creation I was so happy that this was an early decision and hearing her say "it's good to see you again" was like a stab to the heart and felt like I was being welcomed back home after such a long journey.

Once into the gameplay it's hard to ignore how beautiful the graphics look, Minrathous' design was so unexpected and how the locals were treated makes me wonder how Dorian ever survived 😂

There were certain scenes that just blew me away and made me realise just how far games have come to allow us them; the moment you open the doors at Weisshaupt and see Ghilan'nains massive looming face in the clouds was just breath taking, in fact the two gods in general were very well done and there wasn't enough of them in my opinion.

The animation as a whole was very good and again compared to Origins this game is on a different level of good (hate to compare it to other games but Balders gate is probably the closest contender).

There's a particular scene with Lucanis as a romance where he walks over to you after you basically say you like what you see and that Spite doesn't define him, the way his face moves, the little smile, the way his eyes drop to your lips when you touch him floored me and I think having motion capture for this game definitely paid off.

The mechanics of the game were fantastic and as I've yet to play anything other than my mage I am excited to play other classes and possibly Warrior for the first time across 4 games, although Spellblade ruined a mage for me as I love being able to be upfront in a battle and found it perfect for my Crow mage.

I went with purple Rook for this playthrough as I wanted a charming Crow who had far too much energy and was awkward in the best way possible and loved every minute of it; Bioware has always been very clever at establishing the different personalities and how they affect the world around them. Going into a scene and having your Rook react by themselves depending on their personality makes the character feel real and that we aren't just following the same thread of dialogue.

When you first meet Solas they didn't lie that it would feel like an end game mission, the dialogue was fantastic, his voice actor is just incredible and he has a talent to be confident, insecure, determined and doubtful of his own words all in one and it was very easy to fall In love with Solas during inquisition.

I really enjoyed how the first decision you make as Rook ends with the gods escaping, either Harding or Neve being injured which puts doubts in your friendship and leadership from the beginning, that Solas who we'd believed to be the big bad was essentially trapped and looked like a kitten compared to these evil beings who want world domination, it really makes the player question how are we going to fix this massive mistake that we've created, because it takes the gods no time to get to work whilst we scramble to find a team and cleanse multiple parts of Thedas at the same time aswell as setting up base in the fade where we dig deep into the history of Solas and the ancient gods past.

The companions of this game I felt were individuals in their own ways with their own back stories and present problems but I felt as a whole weren't as good as say the previous game; there was no double crossing mages or people with their own greed and agendas, no hidden pasts like Blackwall which personally fell abit flat for me.

In fact I'd say the only one who had an interesting story was Lucanis after his imprisonment and demonic possession and the struggles that came with it.

I don't think I'll romance anyone else other than Emmrich as the others just don't interest me.

It just felt like you were constantly flitting to the Lighthouse and back to grind out companion tasks in order to gain approval and faction points, there was no option to just have a conversation like previous games instead it was very much on their terms and where you were in the game which was something i really missed.

Still, their personalities were very different and characters like Lucanis, Taash and especially Emmrich stole my heart very quickly.

The banter was top notch quality as per 👌 some of my favourites were from Taash and Lucanis, just being a Crow in the middle of their conversations about capes was hilarious at times.

The voice acting as a whole was very good, I felt with some characters particularly Neve it felt abit flat in moments but Bioware have a knack for finding talented voices; having someone as bubbly and excited as Bellara to the deadpan and slightly blunt at times Taash made for a very diverse team.

Returning characters was always a welcome and there were some surprising cameos such as Isabella in the Lords of Fortune faction.

I know alot of people were disappointed that this game felt limited in bringing over past choices but it needed to make sense; Sera isn't going to return and be found in the deep roads etc, it needed to serve a purpose to The Veilguards story and I'm happy with the ones we did get.

When it came to the three decisions from inquisition yes I was disappointed at first; why are we ignoring who drank from the well, why aren't we talking about Hawke, who's ruling Fereldon, who's Divine?.

I think we need to remember that after 4 games the decisions from little to big are so vast that there's simply no way to fit it all in and satisfy everyone and baring in mind this game is for new players too.

Having this game set outside of Ferelden means those decisions won't carry weight in Veilguard, who is divine won't affect us, where Hawke is doesn't affect us because we know they'll either be in the fade or fighting against the evil.

And yes a codex could of helped address any of this but again, it's a smaller team now at bioware and the focus is on Rook this time around, it's their turn and tbh reading codex' is time consuming when you've got gods to fight 😂

The only decision I really wanted brought over was who drank from the Well because as a Solasmancer he was so pissed at me but I think I know why it was glossed over.

I think having Solas being able to control your Inquisitor would have the issue of consent and violation and as a romance that doesn't feel right, especially given how Mythal basically manipulated Solas and used him as a slave it just goes into uncomfortable territory.

We could also argue that Solas absorbed Mythals essence so all that's left is her memories and the tiny fragment you find in the crossroads so essentially Mythal ceases to exist thus there's no pledge anymore for the inquisitor and that she only needed her help to fight Corypheus, who knows but I'm glad Solas wasn't able to do that to the Inquisitor.

The endgame was amazing, finally killing Ghilan'nain was so satisfying and Lucanis was an absolute bad ass doing it, seeing Solas become the dreadwolf and hearing his pained cries was heartbreaking even if he couldn't stop betraying my Rook 😂.

Forcing you as a player to lose a character despite high factions and hero status was brutal, and I unfortunately lost both Davrin and Assan. As much as I loved them both, it made sense to his character to die in that way, and Harding has so much more to do for the dwarves and titans.

I'll talk about Solas/Mythal and Lavellan on another post but I was very happy with how it ended, seeing the art concept of him making himself tranquil just shows how differently it could of gone, and I honestly expected them to die in each other's arms.

If I think of anything else I'll add it onto this post but yeah, 10 years man and it's over, well not over completely as I'm creating an Emmrich romance as we speak but I can't believe years of speculation and doubt is now in our hands forever.

Yes this game could of been better in parts and blew my expectations away in others but I loved it and I think the negative criticism over characters like Taash, the three previous decisions, crazy solasmancers which bring the team down is so unjust and people need to reflect on themselves as humans.

All I would say to those that critic this game as heavy as they have is to take their time and play it again, you'll find things you missed the first time around, really read the codex', just sit back and understand what the characters are saying, read between the lines and just take it back to beginning of this post, this game very nearly didn't happen and alot of talented people that have given you this game have lost their jobs so please just be grateful for what we do have and pray that this isn't the end of dragon age.

Edit:

The whole Varric thing was probably my least favourite thing about the game, not because he died but it just didn't make sense that Rook didn't know until the very end.

I had my suspicions because he was always tired and going back to bed and something about it didn't feel right.

For other companions to say "oh we thought you knew" was just silly, I could understand Solas using his powers to create an illusion but why not on all the companions because surely Rook at some point was like "Oh i'll take some food to Varric" or "have you been to visit him", without that Rook just sounds crazy 😂

[ellstersmash]

Veilguard loves & hates:

Love It:

the banter!!

overall the armor is very cool looking

don't really have to take a balanced party (but detonations help A Lot)

enjoyable mix of linear quests and exploration

at least some puzzles

more qunari lore that isn't "qun bad chantry normal"

GORGEOUS locations fr. like under the sea? you kiddin???

a lot of the quest location and actual quest designs were intriguing and engaging

the soundtrack on the quests was better than the main theme, in most cases

only experienced one bug (on PS5) so far and it was fixed with a reload

THE HAIR!! love that I can change it often—and I DO because there are so many cool options!

honestly the whole CC is very excellent

im in love with all my friends 🥴 and my friends love each other!! much more successful found-family vibes than Inquisition; more akin to DA2

so much talk about food and using food to come together and show love!!! big fan of that

I CAN PET AND HUG ASSAN (and will. all day.)

I do wish I could hug or interact with my romanced companion....but the overall romance and amount of references to it were acceptable. more than enough to get me daydreaming about my Rook and Taash 🥰

Rook's idle animations near the edge of something make me smile

the final battle (like the whole set of quests) felt appropriately dramatic and significant

my completionism paid off :}

the emotional stakes!! I cried like a baby more than once.

DREAD WOOF \o/

the ending (the one I got this round anyway) felt relatively satisfying, even though **

Hate It:

no lighting swap for the Inquisitor CC

no warning before the first major decision point/point of no return. never had my coffee date :(

no armor/outfit dye mechanic, and my god some of the color combos are.. certainly choices

no crafting system

very few legitimately casual outfit options

the main theme sounds like Harry Potter to me

so few meaningful callbacks to past games and choices... it felt impersonal and disconnected from previous game experiences

the way certain areas are walled off (either exploration areas during quests or vice versa) by some nebulous white haze is lazy

I love a DIY home base in my viddy games, but the decor mode is basically pointless. like that's time that could've been better spent elsewhere (like maybe improving the above point??)

loading a save drops you at a respawn beacon, so I'm always forgetting what undiscovered location I was gonna explore next

combat can be fun but is often an exhausting mash of swipe-and-dodge, since unless you use a companion's Taunt skill, every enemy will prioritize Rook for no reason, minus a few swings at the companions here and there (in Adventure mode)

no dedicated Open Map or Open Journal buttons

can't talk to solas whenever I want :(

the evanuris altars are boring. at least the fen'harel ones have some challenge to them, even if it's not a very difficult one

Davrin's talk about the Dalish is.. idk. mixed bag (update: I like his arc though, and Bellara provides another great perspective!)

the Crows are a good and benevolent organization now?? I thought Caterina abused Lucanis? I need to reread his story but it really felt like the writers didn't.

humorous dialogue options are rarely actually funny

dialogue trees don't flow very well, especially if you take one of "more information" options. they need better transitions

too much mythal 😤

**the ending left me with quite a few unanswered questions AND made my Lavellan look a whole-ass fool (I will be headcanoning otherwise, because I am a whole-ass fool)

[dreadfutures]

i don't like that solas vallaslin rewrite scene post because a) a lot of solavellan writers have tried addressing that or something similar and it always makes me roll my eyes when we all forget the classic takes and repackage them as new, b) a lot of people on reddit and tumblr and elsewhere have wished for the same thing, c) it always misses the even bigger problem with the vallaslin scene to me.

in that scene, solas stops short of telling you that the gods were evil.

the marks might have been slave markings that were turned, over the ages, into marks of pride and belonging in the culture of the Dalish. and that story is about the Dalish surviving, persevering, and clawing back what makes them connected to their past, when the world would stamp them out.

That's a great story and one that should be respected. Solas acknowledges this twice.

But the vallaslin isn't just a mark of adulthood and a mark of being Dalish. To them, it is not tied to escaping slavery -- because the Dalish don't know that story, until Lavellan finds out in the grotto from Solas that the vallaslin were slave markings.

The vallaslin are dedications to the gods.

To the evil gods who are very much still a threat to Thedas, and very much Solas's enemies.

The more and more we learn about the Evanuris, the more and more the religious practice of worshiping the Dalish gods stands out. The Dalish are very religious. Your Lavellan might or might not be, if you headcanon--and many players aren't religious, or at least are agnostic. Maybe to your Lavellan this is solely about the 'slave marking' part of what Solas tells her in the grotto.

But there is enough dialogue in DAI that Lavellan *can* be very devoted to the gods. And throughout the other games and media, worship of the Dalish gods is important to their culture. With the gods not being locked away forever, not being dead and distant, and being very much evil, that practice feels like the real problem behind the vallaslin scene.

Yeah, I think Solas is "shackled to the past" but not about this. We don't know what his plan really is, we don't know what he really cares about so much in elvhenan that drives him to bring about an apocalypse now. We don't know fully what he thinks was better, or worth bringing back, or worth undoing, besides the 'magic used to be everywhere and we didn't used to hate spirits' bit. There's more to it than that, that we have yet to see.

But we DO know he views the Evanuris as his enemies; we know from him, and from much of the supplemental material (Hi, Hormak) that they were incredibly cruel and monstrous to their people; we know they are not dead, and they are not permanently locked away; we know that they may be unleashed in the future. The Dalish worship them, and dedicate themselves to them, and invoke them in their lives.

We have the very ominous phrase: "Belief makes you more."

From a Bioware-critical/fandom angle, it is uncomfortable to tell a group heavily coded as indigenous and ancient that actually, all of their history is a lie. It's uncomfortable to tell them that actually, Historically Oppressed Group, you were once just as bad as the people who oppress you now.

Sure, you can change the formula of the vallaslin so he can't take it off of Lavellan. Have Lavellan say with even more gusto that now she'll take this knowledge back to her people, so they can truly celebrate all that they've overcome and reclaimed.

That doesn't change that this is a deeply religious group and a religious practice tied to the biggest threat to his past, and to the future.

I think it's a very surface level reading to think that Solas looks at Lavellan and sees 'slave.' She is indomitable, she is Dalish, and he has said before what he admires about her--and her people.

With all that we know, it seems like it's so much more than that. And I think it's pretty shallow to ignore that.

Fans have tried to headcanon this away in a million directions. A popular one: "What if the 'Evanuris' were just really powerful mages who had taken on the names of the true elven gods as an intimidation factor? That way the Dalish aren't ACTUALLY worshiping evil beings, and their whole culture isn't a lie." Sure! then Solas is 'shackled to the past.' If you headcanon that, then the vallaslin and the names of the gods were never really about the Evanuris, so no harm done that the Dalish still worship them. Solas is totally in the wrong for wanting to remove the marks of slavery and god-dedication from Lavellan's face.

There are other options. But yeah I think a lot of these 'rewrites' miss or forget beyond a really surface level understanding of Solas, the Dalish, and religion lol.

[bardspeak]

Chapter 2 of my Hawke's letters during inquisition! | AO3 Link

This one is a letter from my Hawke (purple mage fenrismancer) left to my friend's inquisitor (Rogue Lavellan almost-josie-mancer). They got along really well really fast and in our canon Hawke made the choice for her and stayed behind in the fade. This is his letter to her in the event he didn't make it.

_

Myrna

It’s not your fault. 

There it is! The only thing I have to say for myself in the event that I don’t make it back from any of the hundreds of things we might do and whatever number of things we may fight over my stay here with the Inquisition. I hope you never have to read this, but I also hope that if you do, you’ll listen to me. It’s not your fault. Okay?

I know what it’s like to be put on some sort of pedestal. A hero of myth and legend and all that, when you boil them down a bit, turn into just another person with just another life who are forced to solve - or make - problems far beyond their ken. (Although, if I’m honest with you, Varric was much less effective at making a hero out of me as the Inquisition does you. Which must only make it harder.) 

So many people died in the mess that I and the people I love made - some I know about and others I’ve never even heard of. I ruined people on purpose and I ruined people on accident. I decided things for people I’d never met without even knowing their names. I know how huge and overwhelming it is to feel responsible for a city, let alone a whole world. But just because we can’t help but step on people doesn’t mean you stepped on me. I walked in with my eyes wide open. I always do. 

That’s the thing about me you may or may not have had the chance to learn know. I got so used to having my actions mean something that I run to the next biggest thing in the room. Especially when it’s something I had a hand in releasing. I could have just let Varric keep lying about me, just keep living, but I decided not to. I know that sounds bad, but I think you get it. Or you will, maybe. It couldn’t have been me off living again when I could have helped anybody again. Just once, it’s my turn to die. 

[Page torn here] 

I hope I don’t! But I also hope I helped, if you’re reading this. I hope any of it meant anything. And, actually, I hope you never come to understand. Ignore what I said before. 

I suppose all I’m trying to say is I know how it is versus how it’s supposed to be. I know the guilt that comes from you taking one step and everyone else rushing to finish the mile for you. The different you’s that live neatly constructed in everyone else’s heads. It’s terrible to meet the person you fear you’ll become so nestled into how a stranger thinks of you. People will see you and think they get it. In fact, I’m seeing you and thinking I get it! What if you read all this and scoff? You’re projecting, Hawke. It is, in fact, just you!

And well. That’s all I can hope for, isn’t it? That you weren’t already blaming yourself for my death, or don’t think about the absolutely vast height the fall from that pedestal is. I’m writing all this because you’re a good friend. Because you care. Because I love you. And because I would have really wanted someone to tell me it wasn’t my fault that they died. I never got that, but I can be that for you right now.

Varric gets it and he doesn’t. I’m sure your Josephine gets it and doesn’t, or your… Cullen. The thing is that you aren’t allowed to forget it because of all of them, but you also aren’t allowed to let it drown you. Because I said so, and really I’m quite a bit older than you and therefore smarter, so you should listen to me. Consider it a warning from a man who runs towards danger signs.

I don’t know how to do it. I don’t know how to let myself wake up the next day, and the next, and the next, and keep on doing that without drowning. It’s a point of pretty huge tension in my life currently as of writing this. [I’m in the Inquisition and not making, like, sweet sweet love to my husband. As you can see]. But as much as I see myself in you, I also see a better you, and a better me, maybe. I hope, since you’re reading this, that at least one of us can figure it out. 

Hawke.

[P.S. Meeting you isn’t what damned me. I enjoyed it, in fact! There are many more people out there who will catch you when you fall, because you do it for them in return. You may think you didn’t, but you already did for me.

P.P.S. If you ever get a dog, name it Dog in my honor. Please. Please.]

[lasatfat]

dadwc prompt list/info

general info:

I'm most familiar with the Inquisition roster, and I've played Origins enough to get a handle on those guys, I think. DA2, I haven't played as much. I'd avoid Awakenings and Absolution for now, because I haven't got around to them yet. I also haven't played Veilguard, but I'm developing some Rook ideas.

Please specify the prompt list you're using, if you can, so I can link back to it. Don't worry if you can't.

I'll be reposting stuff to AO3 by default, but if you'd rather I didn't repost for your prompt, I will absolutely respect that.

OT3/poly prompts are welcome, cracky ships are welcome, rarepairs are welcome. "LI swaps" are welcome (e.g. my Surana romances Alistair in my game, but you can request her with Morrigan, for example. Or a non-romanceable character. Anything you like). Nothing really grim, though, please.

If you send me prompts for platonic interactions, I will love you forever. I will give you a little digital kiss/hug/handshake/high five/wave.

If you send me something that I have a real mental block against for some reason, I will let you know and you can send in another prompt, if you want to.

If I combine prompts, I'll post one with a screenshot of the other(s), and privately answer the other ask(s) to link you up.

prompt fills

Blood of the Crow || Two Hands Longing (For Each Other's Warmth) || Tempting Fate || An Unfriendly Wager || Shadows and Tall Trees || Sanctuary || Easy Like a Sunday Morning || From Childhood's Hour || Scathefire || A Rose Upon a Thorn || Let Me Walk (Before They Make Me Run) || Risk My Hands to Pick Up Shards || Fair Game || Safe Under Cover || The Beginning of All Things || Aisling Lavellan Makes Her Mark || The Safest Place to Hide (NSFW) || You Will Find Him Next to Me || Don't Look Back Into the Sun || Planning Permission || The Nug King's Prize

prompt lists

I have a whole tag for story prompts and ask games HERE; this is just a selection of various types and topics. Again, please include the name of the list if you can, but don't panic if you're on mobile or just forget. Sparklies are for things I'm particularly feeling.

dragon age artefacts

unusual words and Raleigh's lost words

adventuring party dialogue pt. 2 and pt. 3

fantasy settings starters

six word sentence starters

two-part drabble game

50 wordless ways to say "I love you"

enormity of my desire and dirty little compliments

soft sentence starters

hurt/comfort starters and bad day prompts

shit you don't want to hear

my ocs

canon protagonists:

Eireann Surana, Hero of Ferelden - City elf mage, arcane warrior and spirit healer, wielder of Spellweaver. Mother of Farah. Radically kind, values honesty, wishes she didn't have to keep so many secrets. A good tactician. (she/her, bisexual)

Rian Hawke, Champion of Kirkwall - Human hedge mage, force mage. On the diplomatic side of sassy, or the sassy side of diplomatic, depending on your view, but always aims for compassion. (they/them, pansexual)

Gideon Lavellan, Herald of Andraste - Dalish storm mage, Knight-Enchanter. Twin brother of Athim, brother of Aisling. Cunning, and good-hearted, a great believer in uplifting the downtrodden. His title is a burden, but he tries to use his power for good. (he/him, gay)

Persephone "Pidge" Ingellvar, bare bones of a Dwarven Rook. Floundering after being pushed out of the Mourn Watch, they quickly find that they're also free to explore their own interests for the first time. (any/all pronouns, pansexual)

my other characters (I made characters to try out most of the Inquisition romances, and ended up shoving them all into my canon for funsies):

Athim Lavellan - Dalish mace-and-shield reaver. Twin sister of Gideon, sister of Aisling. Honest and inventive, good with problem-solving. Shares her brother's dry humour. (she/her, bisexual with a preference for men)

Kali Lavellan - Dalish dual-dagger tempest, sketches anything and everything. Perpetually anxious, and hides it well until she doesn't. Always goes the extra mile. (she/her, bisexual)

Sigyn, the Lady Archer - City elf mage of the Kirkwall Circle, escaped at the age of fifteen. Mother of Camile. Isn't used to being around people. Angered by injustice, will always protect those in need, but still building her social confidence. (she/her, grey-ace)

Farid Adaar - Tal-Vashoth mage, shapeshifter. Level-headed and kind-hearted, mellow until a game board or cards come out. A friend to all living things. (he/him, aroace)

Basvaarad Adaar - Tal-Vashoth rift mage, freed saarebas. Says little, and chooses his words carefully. Painfully shy, but loves deeply and well. (he/him, they/them, bisexual)

Nanna Adaar - Half-dwarf Vashoth, two-handed warrior, non-verbal. Brash and hot-tempered, but easily mollified. Very protective of people she loves. A lover of all physical contests. (she/her, lesbian)

Torunn Adaar - Vashoth archer and midwife. In-game she's an artificer, but in my heart she's a bard. Boisterous but emotionally intelligent and always eager to learn new things. Has big sister energy. (she/her, bisexual greyromantic)

Farah Surana - daughter of Eireann Surana and Alistair Theirin. Gregarious and inquisitive, she could make a friend in an empty room. Learned from her mother to value kindness above all else. Later travels north to fight with the Veilguard. (she/her, bisexual)

Luceo "Sunny" Aldwir - adopted child of Eireann Surana and Alistair Theirin. A survivor of slavery by the Venatori, they value their freedom and that of others. Trying to prove themself as more than just a person with famous parents. (they/them, gay)

Camile - adopted daughter of Sigyn. Shy and quiet, but always eager to help. Still learning to trust people to help her where she needs it. (she/her)

Aisling Lavellan - baby sister of Gideon and Athim Lavellan. She's brought to Skyhold to live with them after their parents are killed in the fighting in Wycome. Still finding her feet, but curious about everything. A budding creative. (she/her)

my 'ships

As I said, I would love the challenge of any random ships you want to send me! But these are all the ones I have in my verses:

main verse:

Gideon Lavellan/Dorian Pavus

Eireann Surana/Alistair Theirin

Eireann/Alistair/Kali/Cullen (and any combination of these)

Kali Lavellan/Cullen Rutherford

Rian Hawke/Anders

Rian Hawke/Varric Tethras

Athim Lavellan/Solas

Rian/Athim/Varric

Sigyn/Blackwall

Basvaarad Adaar/the Iron Bull

Nanna Adaar/Sera

Torunn Adaar/Raleigh Samson (quasiplatonic)

Kali Lavellan/the Iron Bull (FwB)

Gideon Lavellan/the Iron Bull (FwB)

Carver Hawke/Merrill Sabrae

Cole/Krem Aclassi

Fenris/Isabela/optional Zevran Arainai

Josephine Montilyet/Leliana

Raleigh Samson/Ser Thrask/Ambra

probably more I can't remember right now

the Lion and the Hind AU:

Torunn Adaar/Cullen Rutherford (whom the AU is named for!)

Athim Lavellan/Josephine Montilyet

Basvaarad Adaar/Cassandra Pentaghast

Gideon Lavellan/Solas

Kali Lavellan/the Iron Bull/Dorian Pavus (Bull is romantically/sexually involved with both Kali and Dorian, but Kali and Dorian are completely platonic)

other ships I enjoy but don't have anywhere specific to put, really

Basvaarad Adaar/Solas

Alistair Theirin/Zevran Arainai

Solas/Varric Tethras

[voidcat-senket]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @hxhhasmysoul and @subdee!! <3 <3 <3 who are both v lovely go like. look at their blogs. anyway

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

.161

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

520,484 - 27% of that is one fic looool

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now just HxH and SW:Fallen Order series. Sherlock and Star Trek AOS were big ones too

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Closing the Space (Between Us) - again its 27% of my wordcount! It deserves it! the Hunter x Hunter Killugon Reunion fic of my dreams. I am SO PROUD of this one I have handed it to irl friends! On purpose! My partner got me a physical copy for Xmas 2021!

2. Crying Over Yuuri - a Kyou Kara Maou! fic, which is a fandom I am amazed is still being read. It's a Wolfram POV fic where he, you got it, cries over Yuuri. Pretty fluffy ending. I credit the numbers to the fact that not a lot of fic gets written for KKM anymore so it doesn't disappear under all the new stuff

3. Not Unusual - A ST:AO3 Academy Era McKirk. Bones gets a bunch of clues to something going on with Jim... he gets it a little wrong, Jim freaks out because this man has Issues, but it resolves in the end. I wrote this one as a pinch-hit for an exchange back when I was still RPing Jim Kirk @thewinningscenario

4. 5+1: Are They Or Aren't They? - Somehow my Mystrade (Sherlock BBC) still gets hits with fair regularity and I'll never understand why. It's definitely not my best work but it's cute! 5 times people weren't sure if Mycroft and Lestrade are dating, and the time they know (because they receive a wedding invitation!!)

5. One Flew East, One Flew West - a Killugon Modern AU in which Killua and Gon meet at a Psychiatric Recovery Center, with Kurapika as another patient and Leorio as a therapist. written for HxHBB2020. I'm very fond of this one. It makes me cry <3 I'm so happy there's so much fandom diversity in these! (The next 11 are all either HxH or Sherlock, l o l )

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I wish I could say I did! I mean to! Sometimes I am not in a good place so I mean to do it later and then I forget..... whoof. I am so thankful for each and every review, and I want to repay that!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wrote a LOT of fics in my teens where people died (not all of them are on A03, it didn't exist at the time. I'm not giving you my ff.net ;) ) Surely, one of them! More recently, I wrote a Dragon Age: Inquisition Lavellan/Dorian in response to Dorian preemptively breaking up with me (rude!) that is Pretty Hecking Angsty. It's tagged "hurt no comfort"

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Closing the Space (Between Us) did so much work to get where it was, and they ended up with Everything! My boys <3 (And Alluka)

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Very rarely! I'm pretty lucky in life that I don't get hate generally. Maybe it's because I'm not Out There enough but- who cares! People are nice and sweet and lovely mostly, and I love writing fanfic for/with them :3

9. Do you write smut?

Sometimes it will appear in other fics. I don't really do PWPs, and smut itself is pretty rare because I don't include it unless it's... necessary? Kinda? Like if the story demands it. I personally only read smut in certain moods, so when smut's included I make it easy to skip, but it certainly exists

10. Do you write crossovers?

It depends! In my Sherlock days I had a Sherlock/Stargate Atlantis crossover series and a Sherlock in the HP universe series, but I haven't done any recently.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of! I heard people copy fics over to Wattpad sometimes but I've never looked. I'm not usually in MegaFandoms anyway, so I don't think I'm in any real danger.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES!! A few different Sherlock ones! (I guess I was pretty well known in the Mystrade sphere?? IDK that was back on livejournal. Anyone else miss KinkMemes?) I think one got translated to Russian and one to Chinese. Both reached out to me and asked for permission first, which I of course granted! It's very flattering <3

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Way way way back in my teen years I cowrote a few times- one in YuGiOh and one in Fruits Basket with a high school friend. Recently I am technically cowriting a fic with @spyscrapper atm- I say technically because its really an rp l o l (Star Wars: Jedi Survivor Canon Divergent Spyscrapper, it's pretty hecking cool! And painful! :D ) I once cowrote a fic where the other author just like. eliminated my plotline. so. It's not always good, but it's still fun to try!

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I refuse to pick One. Killugon (HxH), McShep (Stargate Atlantis), Seishirou/Subaru (Tokyo Babylon & X/1999) and any combination of McSpirk (Star Trek) have probably had the most long-lasting impact on me. And

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

I often feel like I should finish Pulling The Trigger because it's an interesting casefic and I like the thought of a mystery, but... it's 12 years old at this point, so...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Nature-themed metaphors and descriptions! And I feel like I have pretty strong character points of view! Oh, and angst. I'm good at angst. >:)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Planning 🙃 oops what's that. And I use adverbs too much! (but it's fun so I'll keep doing it)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It depends why! If a fic is from the POV of Character A and Character B is talking in a language they don't understand, for example, it's fine to use it (though please provide a translation for your reader!) The language switch has to be for a specific reason, and if the character understands it the reader should too. (In One Flew, Gon and Killua sometimes swap to Japanese to disguise their conversations from everyone else- I show that by changing their conversation to italics in most cases.) I definitely wrote a fic as a teen that had all Japanese because I was a weeb and... lol don't do that.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Yugioh, 2001!! It was probably two paragraphs long hahaha

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Closing the Space (Between Us) for sure! God it's so good. I am begging people to read it. If you're going to read One Thing I have written in my entire life-so-far, please let it be that!!

"Tag 20 people:" that seems like a lot hahaha uuhh @spyscrapper @avtorsola @mmuffncakes @nightingalesighs @etoiline @iwishtocountthestars @unicorncoalition @shalnarkonice @missinkylace @thefledglingdm 10 is a reasonable number. but tbh if you wanna do it, do it, I wanna read ur response!

[pellelavellan]

The Journals of Pelle Lavellan

14 Justinian, 9:34 Dragon

I'm scared my secret might get out. I don't know what to do. People can't find out. I'm supposed to get married to Finni in the autumn. I know that she knows my secret, but nobody else does. And for good reason too. I'd never live it down. It would be social suicide. What would my parents say? Or worse, Mallas' dad? I know he's not my dad but he really does like make sure I don't forget how much he doesn't like me.

Anyways, Faris scared me today in the woods. Jumped right out of the bushes and shouted at me so loud. I was so scared I fell over. But then he did something weird. He just like...he was just leaning over me with his hands on the grass on both sides of my head staring at me. I don't know why I thought he was going to beat me up, but I just had a bad feeling so I held my breath and waited for it.

He asked me to breathe, and cursed before telling me he wasn't going to hurt me and how jumpy I was. I guess he's right, I could stand to be a bit braver but fuck what was I supposed to think when he came out of the bushes shouting and pinning him to the ground?

He let me sit up, but he was still staring at me and I didn't know why. Because I'm a glutton for punishment I asked him why he'd even pinned me to the ground in the first place if he wasn't trying to hurt me or if there wasn't someone else hiding in the bushes waiting to do something embarrassing to me. He didn't answer me of course, he just gave me another shove and told me not to get any funny ideas.

That was the first instance I started to worry that he knew something. What funny ideas could I possibly get? Okay--a lot. I'm a teenage boy and some guy I've been crushing on just pinned me down and made direct eye contact with me. OF COURSE my mind was going all kinds of places that I would absolutely keep to myself. Faris is too old for me anyways , he's older than Nara, and she's four years older than me.

He's cute sure...and muscular, and cocky, and loud, and really good at sparring he always wins. Sure I like to watch him--for science. But I'm just looking right? What's wrong with watching? I can't believe I'm trying to justify having a crush on one of the hunters to a piece of paper right now. That's kind of weird of me, but I guess it feels like I'm talking to someone that can't answer or tell me how weird I am. Paper's a good listener, I wonder if paper ever feels a way about always being told people's deepest thoughts and just having to keep it a secret?

That doesn't really matter. Anyways, he put his hands back next to my head after he shoved and he accused me of liking him. I denied it of course. He doubled down, 'you're not a fighter Sibs, you don't have any good reason to watch me with the amount of attention that you do.' I wasn't giving in though. I told him I didn't like him, might have even told him to fuck off. What was I supposed to say? Yes, I think about you a lot and I like you a lot? I'm not that stupid.Or I didn't think so because he decided to challenge that answer.

I still can't believe this happened even writing about it, but he leaned down and kissed me, and my stupid fucking ass kissed him back. He laughed at me, not in a nice way, in that mean way people do when they've caught you in a lie and they're going to gloat about it. And he did. It was awful, like all the things that seemed so cool about him were suddenly gone and he was just mean. I don't think I've ever changed my mind about someone so fast. My face got so hot I felt someone was holding a lit match to me and passing it over my cheeks.

As if it couldn't get any worse he asked me 'Are you sure about that?' I'd really had enough of it. I had two options, wrestle him to set myself free or cry, which I was about ready to do but I'd be damned if I cried in front of him because he fucking sucked. So I pounded on his chest until he backed off and I ran home, ignored my mother when she called my name when I walked past her with the sour face I probably had on, and crawled under the covers and hid from the world.

She tried to talk to me. I told her I wasn't feeling well so she advised me to get some rest, said she was always willing to talk if I wanted to. It's been a few hours now. I didn't talk her. I didn't even really talk to Nara when she came home and asked me what was wrong as I'm sure my mum told her I was acting strange.

I haven't really talked to anyone actually all day. I only got up to make dinner for everyone and eat with them, then I went back to bed. I don't want to talk about it really. Telling people would mean I would have to explain things I'm not ready to talk about, not yet. And fuck, if I told anyone what would Faris do to me? I don't wanna think about that either.

I think I hate him. I hate him so much.

[the-rebel-archivist]

Fanfic Writer Questions

Tagged by @kittlesandbugs, thank you so much!

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 24, but there are a lot of things that I've only posted on reddit or kept in a document, I've been trying to upload some old works recently though!

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 47,945

3. What fandoms do you write for? Dragon Age mainly, but also Fallen Hero, some Baldur's Gate 3 (not posted to AO3 yet but there is... a decent amount), a bit of Mass Effect and a bit of The Exile

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Some of these are at the top simply by virtue of being older and/or with more popular pairings

Stay - Dragon Age Inquisition, Cullavellan, early work, Cullen's perspective on a late evening reviewing paperwork in the Inquisitor's quarters. He makes a scandalous suggestion: forging her signature

Eloquence - Dragon Age Inquisition, Cullavellan again, also Cullen's perspective, set earlier than the one above. It's very cute, early work but full of words unspoken and gentle teasing

Deliberations on the Inevitable - Dragon Age post-Origins, Morrigan/Amell, from Morrigan's perspective. A mouthful of a title. The Warden is convinced to leave to find a cure for the Calling after Kieran tells him his blood sings louder

Amell Family Letters - Dragon Age Inquisition-ish, letters between the Warden, Kieran, and Morrigan while he's out trying to find a cure and they're at Skyhold

Motherly Love - Dragon Age post-Inquisition, Cullavellan, early work, Lavellan has difficulty bonding with her daughter. The story itself I'm considering retconning but it was really personal to write

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to but I have a habit of bursting with joy when I read them and telling myself "I'll respond when I get to my desk" and then forgetting that I should

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Most of my fics usually end reasonably positively even if the path they take to get there can get rough. I think maybe I am cursed, maybe I am gifted might be the angstiest overall, the PTSD of a war criminal Exile commander still towing the party line before exile

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't know if I have any that aren't at least a little bittersweet, but of them A Father's Legacy is probably the happiest. Colonist Shepard has a long-needed talk with his parents and has a chance to try to learn from their mistakes with his daughter

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not that I've seen

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Only for fun in private with friends. There's some truly silly smut on my drive that will never see the light of day publicly

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Also only in private with friends, but only once. A satirical TWC crossover into FHR

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? No I don't think so

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Not really, I've started a few collaborations but they didn't get very far

14. What's your all time favorite ship? Anything with Morrigan. It's always great, there's always a little edge to it even in extremely loving fics (as there should be!)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Raynda and Tamaris's Wycome Adventure, a pre-Inquisition short novella-length fic. It's mostly there, kind of. Needs refining and editing and at this point probably a rewrite

16. What are your writing strengths? Period novel-like prose, describing impressions, established npc voices, and I'm really good at writing child POVs

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Plotting a longer work, or rather coming up with a compelling problem that will build tension toward a satisfying climax. It's why I trend towards short in-between ficlets instead

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If I know the language maybe, it just has to have a purpose beyond obfuscation and I'd rather not use google translate

19. First fandom you wrote for? Dragon Age

20. Favorite fic you've written? I'm torn between Deliberations on the Inevitable and The Queen but I think it may be The Queen. The courtly love and the metaphors are things I'm still proud of. It also comes as no surprise but both fics feature strong women, Morrigan and Anora.

I'm not sure who hasn't been tagged already so I'll tag @ohmypawsandwhiskers @wolfs-dawn and @plisuu but if you see this consider yourself invited to fill it out

[smiletimeisrunningout]

ROLEPLAY HISTORY!

The rules are simple! Post characters you’d like to roleplay as, have roleplayed as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten, just write down however many you can and tag that number of people). Please repost, don’t reblog!

CURRENT MUSE(S):

here on smiletimeisrunningout but also previous blogs:

Emma since before 2012. Though she kinda counts like more than one muse considering she has several main universes and then adaptations to other shows lol

on my multi savingthrcw but they are all either severely canon divergent or even alternate universe versions or ocs, with only a few exceptions:

Sarah Walker (Chuck) (closest to canon)

Jenny II (Doctor Who)

Stella (oc)

Terra from (ff6)

AU Jemma Simmons (Agents of SHIELD)

Kate Austen (Lost)

Ana Lucia Cortez (Lost)

the Book and Tvshow versions of Alina Starkov (Grishaverse) (may sorta be put on hiatus soon because I didn't write them as soon as I added them and I feel I'm forgetting how I meant to write them lol)

Ellie Bartowski (Chuck) (like Sarah she's close to canon but has canon divergent verses)

Alex McHugh (Chuck) (like Ellie)

Solona Amell (DAO) modded player's character

Neria Surana (DAO), player's character

Lily Tabris (DAO) same as Neria

Ellana Lavellan (DAI) player's character

Lex (BG3) player's character

Tauriel (The Hobbit)

Rose Tyler (Doctor Who) Bad Wolfed version

Emma Swan but nearly closed (OUAT)

Clarke Griffin (The 100)

WANT TO WRITE:

(But will not write for sure because I don't have a grasp of 'historical' English language and I could never write the correct dialogue for them, and I'm not going to butcher canon characters making them speak in an unjustified modern way)

Penelope Featherington (Bridgerton)

Young Queen Charlotte (from Bridgerton universe)

Mary Woodhull (Turn WS)

Yennefer (The Witcher)

(But I will not write because I don't think I can channel them properly)

Inej Ghafa (Shadow and Bone tvshow)

Parker (Leverage)

Claire Littleton (Lost)

Daisy Johnson (AoS)

(And I might write)

ocs I'm picturing in my head

HAVE WRITTEN:

Bucky Barnes (MCU) around 2012 when characterization didn't really matter and we were tremendously ooc but having fun

Ruby and Belle from OUAT, same as Bucky

Maria Hill/Robin Scherbatski as mentioned above

oc inspired by Lara Croft

other versions of canon Emma Swan (OUAT)

Snow White and her mother Eva (OUAT)

Elizabeth Swann (POTC)

canon Jemma Simmons and more canon divergent versions with their own (surprisingly long lived) blogs

Britta Perry (Community)

Lily Evans (HP)

more that I have forgotten

WOULD WRITE AGAIN:

my oc Ada

tagged by: @honorhearted and @pagetreader tagging: @retrograderesemblance @writtenxbeginnings @annastrxng @hqlfbloods @trcstme @serpcntes @gccdstories @forthewinn and anyone who wants to jump in!

[sunsetwaltz]

Thinking about how out of all my canon DA protagonists, Rook is the only one to get a straightforward romance (with a hint of HEA).

Mahariel/Alistair: She dodged a bullet by never finding out that Anora would throw her under the bus without a second thought. So she crowned Anora, didn't encourage Alistair to become king because he never seemed interested, and took the "easy" way out by (reluctantly) agreeing to Morrigan's ritual. If she had submitted to Cauthrien, well, King Alistair definitely would've left her heartbroken.

There's also the whole "Creators, do I really have feelings for a shem human?" crisis, y'know feeling like a traitor to her people for daring to love a human. And later on feeling immense (survivor's) guilt for not performing the ultimate sacrifice and irrationally believing she robbed Alistair of a better, more stable future. Which is why Alistair's romanced dialogue in DAI had me giddy, swooning and relieved:

"Happier than I ever dreamed possible. She's more than I deserve... And I hope I make her days easier as well."

Oh and let's not forget the Calling. That kind of puts a damper on the future.

Hawke/no one/the fade: RIP my Hawke. She had a fling with Isabela but the game bugged and didn't properly register their breakup... She couldn't romance anyone else or experience the full Isabela romance. If I had known that bug would happen I would've committed to Isabela lol.

In the Keep, I had her in a relationship with Sebastian for funsies. Except she's a mage and I personally don't believe a Sebastian/mage Hawke romance would end happily. Not unless he gives up the throne to Starkhaven, which I doubt either of them would want. Even by 9:52 Dragon I'm not sure Starkhaven or the rest of Thedas would realistically accept a mage as their Princess (he'd probably give the same speech as Alistair heh). So off to the Fade she went during Here Lies the Abyss.

Lavellan/Solas: It's Solas. He makes things complicated just by existing lol. Y'know as a quiet, not-humble, tea-hating, fade-obsessed dreamer apostate scholar. Not a god but still an absurdly powerful immortal elven mage straight out of Dalish legend. Maker of the veil. Sunderer of the titans and the Elvhenan of old. Leader of the elven rebellion against the Evanuris, liberator of elven slaves. The guy who played a hand in creating both the breach AND the blight. Who is "kind and wise and sad" and terrible at loving someone and being loved in return.

"The course of true love never did run smooth" is THEM. Ten years, man.

Rook/Davrin: Felt straight up like a Disney or Pixar romance - lighthearted and cute. I appreciated how level headed, grounded and confident he seemed. How he had a sense of humour but knew when to be serious. How he didn't have any overwhelming angst or drama in his life (after ten years with Solas yk...a girl needs a break!). It felt like Davrin truly understood what was important during all those round table discussions, like he and my (humorous) Rook were on the same page, that they definitely had inside jokes of their own. In a way, it felt like Davrin became a "rock for Rook".

Also ASSAN. My absolute favourite, my adopted baby griffin! While I would've liked to learn more about Davrin (which clan is he from? Does he have any siblings or surviving family? How'd he get his scars?), I was fairly pleased by this romance and all the cute family moments. Except for y'know that barely anyone in the game acknowledges it - it's only Emmrich, Davrin himself and Ghilan'nain of all characters lol afaik.

(Neve absolutely does not count! Watch/read the banter again. Only Rook responds to Davrin's comment about their future; Neve doesn't even offer anything like "I'm happy for you two" FKSDLAFJ;LSAKD;LKF)

When it came to the scene where they discuss their future together(!), it felt only appropriate to allow at least one of my DA protags to have a happy ending. (At that time I had no idea about Solas/Lavellan.) I liked how the game followed up on the "settling down and raising our half-bird, half-cat kid" later in Act 3. Plus Davrin referencing an earlier cutscene, coming around and suggesting they "go flying one day"... That really warmed my heart <3

[bluewren]

Character Song Tag Meme!

ohhhh👀Thanks for the tag!!! @nirikeehan I've so many songs that I love from Tali's playlists but never share enough. So here goes!

The rules are: Choose one of your characters and list songs that fit them.  

I have three playlists for Taliesen Lavellan, one for herself, one for Taliesen/Solas, one for Taliesen/Sera

For Taliesen, the builder told to wage war:

ONE OK ROCK - Stand Out Fit In

I know they don't like me that much Guess that I don't dress how they want I just wanna be myself, I can't be someone else Try to colour inside their lines Try to live a life by design I just wanna be myself, I can't be someone else Someone else

Paramore - Pressure

Now that I'm losing hope And there's nothing else to show For all of the days that we spent Carried away from home Some things I'll never know And I had to let them go I'm sitting all alone Feeling empty

One of Taliesen's biggest struggles as Inquisitor is that she is she felt disgusted at being the leader of religious organization for a goddess that she isn't a believer in. Another moment that her oppressors got to decide who she is. So she lashes out a lot while feeling trapped inside the cage.

Taliesen/Sera: Chloe Moriondo - Strawberry Blonde

Her hair isn't dark, strawberry blonde And when I'm with her, nothing is wrong Takes my hand in hers when the lights aren't on Smaller than mine and oh God I am gone I wanna be with her all day (all day) I'm a bitch to everyone else anyway It's hard to keep a tight leash on my head All I wanna do is kiss her lips in my bed

There's a funny bit of wordplay for this song, Sera and Tali are both blondes. 😆 So the lyrics can apply to both of them. For Taliesen, Sera was the first one that told her that she didn't owe anything to the world and she can be happy for herself.

Taliesen/Solas: SVRCINA - Meet Me on the Battlefield

No time for rest No pillow for my head Nowhere to run from this No way to forget Around, the shadows creep Like friends, they cover me Just wanna lay me down and finally Try to get some sleep We carry on through the storm Tired soldiers in this war Remember what we're fighting for

Solas is the first friend that Taliesen made at Haven, they were the types to instantly get along. ��Her own beliefs about elves needing their own culture in the present, meant that they didnt have much to argue on that topic. Solas became the only person who allowed to be just nerd out to in the beginning. That built instant trust between them.

Tagging: @wailing-willow | @cleverblackcat | @noire-pandora | @oxygenforthewicked | @rakshadow | @musetta3 | @weatheredlaw | @truebluedreamer

[spainkitty]

The Fiona is Secretly Alistair's Mother Scenes Part 2

Lanil's Pieces Masterlist

Her advisors talked over her head, and she let them. Their voices were a familiar and by now comforting backdrop. In her hands she read over the missive from King Alistair. His missive wasn't long, nor terribly eloquent. At all. It made Lavellan like him despite their first and only meeting. A little bit. He seemed like someone she could be friends with. Or at least laugh with in between wanting to slap him upside the head.

...I'm hoping you'll help. Something something grateful something. Wait... did you just write that? You scribes do this on purpose, don't you?

She grinned and shook her head. Even his scribes and staff teased him. Despite the circumstances they were all in, despite the request he made now, he did seem... happy. Or well. Perhaps just well. But he was definitely and completely himself, with no pretenses and an easy humility that didn't make him weak. Just... human. The common king, that's what they called him, right? Would King Maric be proud of him? Would Fiona... want to see this?

"Leliana," Lavellan said, before she could think about it.

"Yes, Inquisitor?"

She held up the paper. "This is a copy, right?"

"Yes, I keep the originals in a locked box for a short time, and then I burn them. The more incriminating, I burn sooner."

Lavellan blinked. "Have you burnt the original of this one?"

"Not yet. It's not especially--"

"And he signed it, himself?" She waved the paper where Alistair's name was obviously not a personal signature.

"Why, Inquisitor, are you asking for the king's autograph?" Leliana asked, smirking. "I know him quite well. I'm sure he'd be delighted to send you something more personal."

"Oh yes, I'm absolutely enamored of him," Lavellan drawled. "Didn't you know I love them Ferelden, human, and forgetting to put their crowns on before they burst in and yell at me. I especially love it when they're already married and infamously besotted. I'll kiss his autograph good night and dream of elf-blooded princes and princesses."

Josephine and Leliana were already laughing by the time she got to the kissing part.

"I don't think the Hero of Ferelden would like it much," Josephine said. "I hear she's quite fierce with a bow."

"Please, flirt with Alistair as obviously as possible. He'll get so confused and then maybe Aleandria will come back from wherever she is," Leliana teased.

"Yes, the danger of getting shot with a bow so you can flirt with a married man sounds greatly appealing," Cullen noted dryly.

Lavellan's lips twitched as Josephine and Leliana laughed again.

"But truly, could I have the original? I..." She looked down at those last few lines. "I think I know someone who would like to see this. It would mean a lot to... them."

"Do you trust them not to forge his signature or lose it?" Leliana asked, although she looked like she wanted to do anything but say yes.

"She--They'll probably burn it themselves just so that wouldn't happen. I think. Yes, I trust them." She nodded decisively.

"That fills me with confidence, Inquisitor," Leliana said with a frown. Lavellan grinned. "As you wish. But if Ferelden is suddenly filled with remarkably good forgeries of King Alistair's autograph, I'll tell him who's at fault."

"Oh good, I'll finally be able to meet the true love of my life again. Tell him I pine for him, will you." She set the copy of the missive on the desk and turned to walk out.

"If you like, I could send him a scented handkerchief along with our reply!" Josephine suggested.

"Do you think he prefers pine trees or horse sweat?" Lavellan asked over her shoulder. "I'm sure you know what's best. Also, I don't have a handkerchief."

"Perhaps I should leave the meetings early. I'm starting to regret taking my time," Cullen muttered under his breath as he gathered up his papers.

"Of course, dear Commander. But just think, you would've missed such crucial information," Leliana said, eyes dancing wickedly.

"That you three can't be serious the moment someone brings up romance?"

"Ferelden. Human. Well, that's two out of three, isn't it?" Josephine asked Leliana innocently. "Leliana, isn’t the Commander Ferelden and human?"

Paper scattered over the floor and the large, heavy, war table skidded over stone when Cullen bumped, hard, against the edge. He winced and bent over double, muttering to the Maker.

"Why yes, Josie, I think he is. Perhaps he also would like a handkerchief scented with pine trees and horse sweat?"

"I definitely regret staying longer."

...

The original message from King Alistair was on her bed when she went up after training to wash before dinner. It was an innocuous little roll of parchment, tied with a pink bow, but Lavellan was sure of what it was before she even opened it. His name at the bottom was a messy scrawl, wide, loopy, and hurried. His big A was written the same way she wrote them, and she didn't know why it was such a jolt to see.

Leliana said once that Lavellan's writing looked Chantry-educated. King Alistair must've been, too, like Cullen. She rolled the parchment, tied it off, and decided she'd wait to wash. She wanted to give this to the right person immediately.

The library was hushed and serene, the smell of parchment and paper and ink like a soothing balm. She wasn't much of a reader, so she didn't know why she liked it so much, but she did. Her hand trailed along the bannister as she made her way to the former Grand Enchanter.

"Inquisitor, it is a pleasure," Fiona greeted, her husky voice sounding genuinely pleased. "It'll be time to dine soon. Would you care to join us this evening?"

Lavellan blinked. "Oh. That sounds like... a really good idea, actually. Does Dorian join you sometimes?"

"Yes. He's always amusing. There are a few that..." Fiona broke off with a guilty frown. "A few that are uncomfortable with a Tevinter, after... everything. But he has charmed most."

"That sounds like Dorian," Lavellan agreed, grinning. "But I didn't come for that, but I will, if the offer is--"

"Any time. You are always welcome among us. You are our Inquisitor, savior, and sister in magic."

There was something about that. Something that eased a tension inside her. She had made the mages her allies, she felt no shame or regret about it, but she'd been so careful to keep them at arm's length. Not wanting to show a distinct favoritism when hundreds of soldiers were ready outside to die for her, and she hadn't had to prove much of anything to any of them. Well, she had, but it hadn't been on purpose.

But she was a mage. And the idea of spending an evening among them, her other people and just as integral to who she was, was impossible to resist.

Lavellan took out the scroll and handed it to Fiona. It was even easier than she thought it would be, although Leliana's uncertainty and suspicions still echoed in her head.

"What's this?" Fiona unrolled it, eyes scanning the short text. A hand raised to her mouth to stifle the almost silent gasp.

"It's the original, so he signed it himself. I thought... I couldn't introduce you, maybe it is too late, but maybe you'd like that." Lavellan shrugged, discomforted by the sudden pallor of Fiona's skin.

Maybe it had been a bad idea after all.

"Da'len, ma serannas."

Lavellan startled at Fiona using Elvish. She was just as startled at the swell of emotion that throbbed throughout each word, making her thick Orlesian accent even thicker.

"Excuse me, that was... inappropriate." Fiona rolled the paper back. "He is... exactly like his father. I can hear Maric in his words. How... extraordinary." She was smiling her placid, gentle smile, but Lavellan could see a tremble at the corner of it. "Thank you for this." She held out her hand.

Lavellan took the scroll mutely. Fiona bowed her head, a minute gesture of respect, then turned away. Her steps were not hurried, her posture relaxed. But Lavellan had no doubt the mage was heading somewhere private.

She knew that look.

Lavellan glanced down at the paper. Leliana would be relieved and pleased to have it back. It was, in fact, better this way.

But in her room, hidden in the corner of her pillowcase, the only two messages from clan Lavellan she'd ever have were wedged tight. A crumpled ball immovable, unreadable, but there.

"Grand Enchanter," Lavellan said, striding across the floor. There was an almost imperceptible pause before Fiona turned.

"Just Fiona is acceptable, Inquisitor."

"Uh. Right. Here." She grabbed Fiona's hand and shoved the message there. She then quickly backed up, hands clasped behind her. "To remember your friend. To remind you his son is well. And happy."

"Inquisi--"

"I have to go wash up and get changed if I want to be on time for dinner. I'll see you then." Lavellan spun on her heel and fled the tower.

Fiona glanced down at the slightly mangled paper. Then, she slipped it into her pocket, eyes a little too bright.

To Part I