#i didn't even know that was a thing until a few years ago

[keelt9]

BIGNONIA

Masterlist

That’s why I always like to have a plan B ready to be executed, most of the time. 

“Y/N.” I still heard my name in the distance. “Y/N!” All I had to do was speak, I know that. “SISTER!”

But I ran away.

“WHAT?” Collin raises his hands like he surrenders. 

“Jesus! I've been calling you for 3 minutes. Breakfast is ready.” He closed the door of my room, not before sticking his tongue out. 

I bluff, closing my eyes and scratching my forehead, looking at the calendar next to my bed; a week already.

In the kitchen mom is serving juice as dad is taking his coat, the cold wind of the morning is increasing. 

“Y/N, darling, do you mind…” I nod, Collin and I are in charge of the purchase for the game of this night.

“I got it.” She smiles, kissing my cheek, as Collin lifts his cheek for a kiss, but mom just smiles at him, patting his hand, laughing as she keeps walking.

“I hope when I come back on my first holiday I receive at least one kiss.” He screams giggling, taking the plates to the dining room. “You left two months, not a year.”

He left the plates and went to hug me tight, shaking me side to side. “But we missed you like hell.”

I giggle as I see the drops of jam now on the floor. “Ok, ok, you’re messing up my pancakes, move.”

Collin laughs as he kisses my cheek too. “You better text me like always, I’m a big guy now, but you're kind of special.”

My days passed like usual, just like I've been working all those years; from a distance, keeping updated Lilian, but in a few days we made so many changes.

Gael was in charge of the florist’s for a couple of days until Lilian contacted the woman she already had been talking to before I offered to go, and she agreed right away after all it only will be three weeks, until she goes back.

“Grandpa likes these ones, right?” I point the glass donut through the cristal.

“Yeah. I'll take two of them.” He pointed to the chocolate one. “Do you ever tell me?”

I lift my eyes from the counter. “Tell you what?”

Collin saved his phone in his pockets. “One week ago you were happily in the middle of a big game, then on Wednesday night, you arrived home with your bags.”

He remembered something before I spoke. ‘Ah! And with a squidward pumpkin in your hand, that is still in your room!”

The girl who is attend us gave me a box of donuts, I sigh and softly kicked him with my feet. 

“I arrived a couple of weeks earlier, GOD! Why must there be a reason behind that?” Collin takes the boxes of my hands, bluffing.

“Ok, you have that but, Y/N, you are terrified of seeing your phone.” He points to my back pocket. “It's been 10 minutes with the lighter on.”

I turn it off, just barely seeing in case I missed texts or calls from mom or Lilian.

“I'm not terrified, it's a detox.” Inside of the car Collin opens his eyes.

“Someone did something to you?! I'll ki…”I chuckled, grabbing his hand and calming down.

“NO! Collin your imagination, it's working too much.” I engine the car, if I want him to be calm I must give him something. “I need to be at home, and keep work kind of far away.”

Collin rolls his eyes. “Hey, take charge of something you didn’t even dream of and you'll be drained.”

“Are you sure?” I nod, stopping in the red light.

“I'm fine, give me a couple of days and I'll be me, one more time.”

After all, I didn't lie to him, just keep the truth short and concrete.

When we arrived home, dad and mom were laughing as they got inside of the house with dirtier clothes and bags of charcoal.

“You're fast.” Dad said getting inside.

Mom stops for a second at the door. “Honey, you have a package.” Collin points to himself. “No, my other honey.” 

I cleared my throat, winking at him, as he got inside with things we bought.

“It's in your room!” She screams as I get inside walking upstairs.

On my bed there is a small box; Lilian already told me she planned to send a small present, it could be useful for Collin in college.

“Where are the beers?” Collin asks on the frame door as I open the box without putting so much attention. We forgot the beer.

He reads my face like a book and giggles. “Let's go.” I put aside the package but he shakes his head 

“Don't worry I'll go with dad.” He said before going downstairs.

Where is the little kid who refuses to leave my room if there is a package on my bed? 

I look inside the box where there are a lot of yellow papers that cover another small box, inside of that a crystal ball, like the christmas one, just this one has a small bignonia inside of it.

A nice detail of Lilian.

I called her right away. “Hey, it’s beautiful, thank you so much, he will love it.”

“What?” I heard her excuse herself before the noise disappeared. 

“The crystal ball.” I giggle, repeating one more time.

“I don’t send anything.” I narrow my eyes, and see the andress on the box, yeah, the address is from the floristi’s. 

I tilt my head smiling. “Come on Lilian, the address is from the florist’s.”

Lilian stayed in silence for a couple of seconds. “Oh, it must be Gael, he asked me your address a couple days ago, he said a package arrived for you in the florist’s so he would send it to you.”

“Ok, am, I’ll call you back thanks.” I hang out quickly, but if my suspicions are correct that kid will be in trouble.

I move side to side from my bedroom waiting for Gael to pick up but it’s the second time he didn’t.

I sit on bed one more time watching the crystal ball and my phone at the same time, that brings me flashbacks of that day, one more time.

After Joe whispers, all fade away in a blink, I technically take my eyes off him and all the people surrounding me are already gone.

He tried to talk to me, but I feel so overwhelmed and observed that I panicked, I raise my hands every time he tried to approaches to me or speaks to me; when I recover the enough energy to make a movement I turn around as he keeps calling me, it only make it worse because as I tried to leave the stadium with a nothing more than Joe Burrow calling my name a lot of eyes were on us. 

Thankfully as we stepped outside of the stadium people who were there or passing by when they saw him, ran to him asking for a photo or autograph.

Inside of the cab, I realized that I didn’t know where I was supposed to go.

I found myself in front of Mr. McNeill house, in panic and a constant buzz of phone due to Joe calls and text, after acting in the worst way I could do it.

After a long talk and an endless cup of tea, Mr. McNeill words were enough for me to definitely run away.

<I told you my little girl, sometimes comes into our door.>

I called Lilian the next morning trying to explain something I didn't fully understand but as I told her I realized about my own feelings. 

I fell in love without doubt. The talks on the florist’s, the nights when even he looked tired he waited for me to close, the encouraging words and support when I was about to give up, the laughs, the details, it’s him being him.

I took the first flight to Carolina where Lilina was waiting for me, we explained to Gael something urgent came up and the instructions he must follow.

Like we expected, he called Lilian that Monday morning, Joe was at the florist’s and he said he needed to talk to me. Lilian took charge of that.

Just as Colline said, I arrived at my house on Wednesday night, defeated and embarrassed about my behavior. 

“Darling?” I didn’t even notice my mom. It's at the door looking at me with suspicious eyes. “Do you mind giving me a hand?” 

Shit, I shake my head trying to get rid of these toughs, as I stand at the door, mom stops me and caresses my hair.

“Everything is alright?” If I speak, she will know something is in my mind, I just assent. “Is that what are you waiting for?”

She sees the box over my bed. 

“Yeah, it could be.” Both of us smile going downstairs where in a couple of minutes my grandparents will come.

Gael answered me until Monday night, he said in his defense, <The poor boy looks so frustrated and overwhelmed.> How he can not do a few favors, besides Joe paid everything, he called it, a spare to a five star customer.

“Will you use your boxes?” Collin asked, looking at his phone with his test in his hands, he’s a genius in chemistry, and his A+ in his exam on his lap is just a small way of teasing me about how bad I was in that grade.

I just picked up Collin from school. “What boxes?” He's helping in a collection for Thanksgiving, I must say, he’s helping the girl he likes in her collection.

Collin bluffs. “Come on Y/N! You have a pile of small boxes in your room. It's a recycling collection, help you little brother a little bit.”

That’s the favors Gael refers to, every two days a same little box came from the florist’s, by the third box I refused to open it, in all of them a small crystal ball with that bignonia of different color.

“I thought mom gave you like 20 empty jars, two days ago.” I parked in front of our house.

I went back to my routine from work at home and helped mom with her small business of candles. 

“She did, and I already took them, but… it’s all for a good cause.” I laughed seeing my brother so nervous. 

I stop outside of the car, seeing him to the other side. “Why is it so hard to invite her on a date?” 

He fakes a big laugh. “You think I don’t think about it?”

“Well…” He lends his head on the top of the car.

“I tried, believe me, but it’s like when I see her all fade away. I can play cool, yes, but I’m literally fighting for not melting on the ground.” His words leave me thinking more than I would like. 

“I’ll empty it for you, can I give it to you tomorrow night?” Collin faces lights on and nods. 

That night after all were in their rooms, I put my 9 boxes on my bed. I take my time to open them one by one, like I suspect, each one has bignonia of different color all in a small crystal ball. 

“It will last at least two years, they are under a special process that makes them last.” That’s what Lilian told me, when I asked her how I was supposed to take care of them.

I grab one putting over my forehead, unintentionally shaking trying to put my thoughts in order, as I open my eyes, a soft light comes inside of it, I shake it one more time and turn it off.

He remembered, being alone in the dark makes me feel quite uneasy. 

“I’m crazy.” I whisper, opening my phone and his chat, which was archive.

And endless photographs of the most random things, like his morning milkshake disaster until a photo of the score of the game of last game, they won.

>I’m sorry, let’s talk about this face to face, ok? I’ll be in Cincinnati in a couple of weeks.

That’s all I could send that night, observing the crystal balls on my bed and the soft warm light that comes from them.

“She’s cute right?” Collin said with his eyes stuck to the window, a blonde girl who’s taking note of all the things they’re collecting is waving her hand to my brother.

I gave him the empty boxes the next morning and offered to take him to deliver it, and without saying give him a little push.

Or at least that’s what I tried because the girl took a step ahead, inviting him for a coffee. 

I didn’t even know since a month ago, he’s the main contributor of this collection.

I smile at the girl and my brother, what a scene. “Where do you collect that much?” 

Collin's face turns red. “Mom, dad, you, grandma and my friends.”

I laughed when the engine started; we must be home by dinner, with a happy Collin in the passenger seat.

“All I’m saying is he could find another way, that was so predictable.” It’s the third time Collin complained about the missing touchdown of the 49ers in the third quarter. 

“Collin, Purdy had like 5 big guys over him, how could he do that?”

As we enter the house, my dad finds us in the hallway with a smile that practically covers all his face. 

“You’re in trouble!” He grabs Collin by the shoulders as he points to the backyard.

I look at Collin who raised his shoulders. “Go!” Dad pushed me. 

I barely reached to avoid a crash with my mom who has a red face. 

“Do you kn…” She shook her head and pushed me to the backyard, didn’t even let me finish my question.

“You’re crazy people.” I shout as I practically sway in the door of the backyard. “There’s nothing here.” 

But I swallow my words when I see in our small “living room”, stand rubbing his hand on his tights to the guy I have treated awfully, Joe Burrow.

He only whispers, hi and it was enough for me to take a step back, one more time.

“Sorry, sorry, it's not you, believe me, it's not you.” I cover my eyes and take a deep breath.

“I'm sorry, I don't tell you anything, it's just… I thought in a thousand ways to tell you but… I simply couldn't do it.” I feel my heart squeeze and remember Collin's words.

“No please, no.” I look him into the eyes. “It's not you. I got through a lot of things in a couple of months that I never paid attention to my feelings, don't take me wrong, I'm so happy for Lilian but I was overwhelmed and well, an abrupt confession no confession took me out of balance.”

Joe closes his eyes and presses his lips together like he's preparing for the worst.

“So, all these weeks after treating you in the worst way I treat someone who's only nice with me, I take my time to realize my own feelings.”

By the time Joe opened his eyes I'm standing in front of him, making him blink.

“I like you too. I already told you, I'm not good with this but give time and who knows I could be pr…”

Joe kiss me.

He leaned on giving me a kiss that left me blank. A calming kiss.

Joe smirks and his rich boy laughs are slowly becoming my favorite sound.

“Whoa.” I nod slowly, pressing my hand against my lips.

I turn around, the living room is empty and knowing mom as I do, she probably has locked down Collin and dad in their room.

“I'm sorry, but I have to use my last 3 seconds of bravery.” Joe chuckled as he put his hands on his waist. “Y/N, I like you very much. Could you go on a date with me?” He gives me a towel. “I'd like to take things slowly but with you all can happen in a blink.”

I grab the towel and cover my face. “Is this one of the last time?” 

Joe nods. “You have to see it to understand.” I see a classic towel from a game, the logo of the NFL and the team. “To the other side.”

I turn it around and I see it, a small red heart. “I planned to speak with you and give you this but the guys understood I already talked with you; the talks in the locker room could be kind of messy.”

“Thank you, I feel worse now.” I joke, scrunching my nose, covering my face with the towel. 

“I mean, yeah, it would be nice if you wait but this is so much better.” I roll my eyes before seeing him one more time. “I was able to add some extra details.”

I choke my head. “Do you like flowers?” I giggle as I nod.

“Suits you one more time.” A bignonia represents tenacity and perseverance, things that scream Joe Burrow.

Lilian on multiple occasions told me about the feelings she had being with Jason, always resume in… <We create our own world just being next to each other.> I don’t know if this is what she means but right now it feels like that. 

With Joe eyes on me, I feel I could lose in the moment.

“My mom went crazy when she saw you right?” Joe giggles and bites his lips.

“A little bit.” He makes a funny gesture with his eyes, a sign that my mom probably freaks out.

“So, it’s my bye week, I'm hoping to relax and spend time with my girl.” 

I grip the towel tighter. “Your what? I’m sorry but I haven’t said yes.” 

Joe kissed me one more time. “Jesus and your three seconds of bravery.” It’s amusing.

One more kiss. “Ok, ok, ok.” And one more. “I’ll go!”

His idea of a date turns out in 4 days of dates; every time he comes to my house I bet Collin screamed deep inside as me the first time I met him.

Mom and dad act more comfortable by day two, at the end of the week they look more calm and cool around him.

And Sunday after watching the game where the 49ers will bring back the win against the Cardinals, my family is relaxed around him.

“Thanks for receiving me these days Mrs and Mr. Ivory.” Joe said to my mom. “I had wonderful days.”

“Please Joe, feel free to come anytime you want.” Mom smiled at him.

“Like he isn't in the middle of season.” Collin claimed, winning a small pinch of my mom. 

“Bring the container of the table Collin.” Dad giggles pushing him softly to the kitchen. 

“Thanks for coming Joe. I guess we'll see you next week; from far away, but see you.” Dad looks so excited.

I tilt my head. “What?”

“It's Thanksgiving. Joe…well, Bengals will come to play.” Collin said, giving the container to my mom. “Duh!”

“Right! I forgot.” Collin was about to keep mocking me but mom caught that tricky eye, taking a step ahead of him.

She gives the container to Joe. “I don’t know if you can eat more of this but I notice you like them very much.”

The container has her mini tarts, Joe ate a lot of them last night. “Have a good flight Joe.” Dad added shaking his hand too.

“Thanks Joe for the talk, it’s really helpful.” Collin has something to say for the way he sees me. “I bet that my sis…” 

Mom pulls Collin inside of the house with an apologetic smile rolling her eyes. “Take care Joe.”

I shake my head giggling. “I guess that means, I won’t have any chance to see you, right?” He said looking down the hill, my house is set in a classic hill with a lot of curves on the way.

“On the other hand, you probably will see me.” Joe opened his eyes. “Dad bought tickets for that game, a way of recreating old moments. He used to take Collin and me to Thanksgiving games, until we became older enough that our schedules didn't fit.”

“At least I see you there.” Joe clicks his tongue. “On the opposite team.”

I laughed, seeing his tricky eyes. “It’s a familiar lineage, sorry.”

“I know, I know.” He rolls his eyes, that gives me an idea.

I walk searching one of the small benches on the porch. “Wait a second.” I go up on it. 

“Do you mind giving me a hand? I feel like I'm going to fall.” I extend my hands.

Joe walked until I was standing with narrow eyes. “You’re strong, right?” He nodded with a curious smile on his face as I laid my hands on his shoulder. 

Even standing here, I’m 2 or 3 cm shorter than him.

I’m crazy, that’s what I am.

“Extend your arms.” This time he tilted his head with the same curious eyes. “Just do it.” 

Joe extends his arms, at that moment I jump right to his arms taking him by surprise but with a quick reaction he holds me as my legs surrender his torso grabbing me by my thighs.

“Unexpected.” Joe smiles as I feel my face heat. 

“It's a big hug for the trip and for the one I won’t give you next week.” I untangle my legs to get down but he easily puts it on around his torso, one more time. 

“Are you that sure that I won’t get a hug, huh?” Joe giggles. 

“You can put me down, it was a small thing I wanted to do.” But he didn't move, instead he kissed me, longer than usual.

“Yeah, this way you’ll probably need to lean down a little bit from the stands?” I look at him with open eyes. “What? Is a small thing I want to corroborate; the way I’ll kiss you after winning that game.”

I mumble a few words as he smiles at me. “Now you’re confident?”

Joe threw his head backwards laughing so hard. “I’ll be so damn near to perfection.”

“I hear a bet?” I said, faking an offended expression. 

“Let's bet.” Joe smirks. 

“You can put me down.” I untangle my legs but he refused to let me go. 

“It works for my curls, keep talking.” I laugh, putting my hands on his shoulders 

I look into his eyes. “Ok, let’s do it.”

[kedreeva]

I ordered an ice cream cone at McDonald's and when I got to the window, the manager moved the window person aside and held up.... This. She says, "You ordered a cone, but this is all we have for you, because our machine just got working again. Do you still want it?"

Of COURSE I want it. Look at it. It's got anxiety. Me too, buddy. It's perfect. Basically a milkshake but with a cone. I'm going to immortalize it on Tumblr immediately.

[zackmartin]

omg i just check yr about (i was looking for yr resource blog hehe) and zeldas suchhhh a pretty name it suits u so well 💞💞💞💞💞 and i promise im not just saying that bc video games its srsly so good for you I LOVE YOUUUUU

asjddksjz THANK YOU, I LOVE YOUUUU 🥺🥺🥺💕💕💕

[mintaka-iii]

My mental health can't possibly good if an essay on the found family trope gives me such an indescribable feeling of hollowness and yearning

[eggmeralda]

kind of wish my way of coping with morbid things wasn't to expose myself to them until I become desensitised lol

[hua-fei-hua]

alright whenever you have time (and also the energy) I would love to hear your thoughts on the lantern rite epilogue! Have a good day <3

we're going to pretend that people following me will care abt genshin 3.4 lantern rite spoilers so we're gonna put my entire deranged mess under a cut hahaha

*gently holds* MY XVS......

truly this lantern rite had EVERYTHING although truth be told, like, the way venti was kind of shoehorned in was a little disappointing. i felt a little bit baited by the way the 3.4 TRAILER HAD THAT ONE CUT RIGHT where it goes from VENTI PLAYING THE LYRE in the harbor to XIAO LOOKING UP AT THE FIREWORKS outside of wangshu inn, and then we see the xiao bit in the actual cutscene on day 2, but absolutely none of venti until the epilogue. and also we never see venti playing the lyre during the event story so it's like. whoever edited that pv absolutely had xv on the brain. like. what the hell was that it was magical i feel higher than a boat right now

BUT ANYWAY like i don't even care how obviously shoehorned in venti felt bc the interactions were all SO PERFECT i love love loved them. i loved the way hu tao just RAN INTO WANGSHU INN and started shouting for xiao, and then talked death to him until he was like "yeah sure i'll go to your dinner". they are so besties i love them their friendship is everything to me.

THE WAY. XV INTERACTED. IN FRONT OF US. xiao just like "well. um. there's this. um. um." TOTAL PANIC MODE n venti had to SAVE HIM with like "huuuh? did you forget already? i'm a bard!" like HELLO why do they need a COVER STORY why are they making up COVER STORIES TOGETHER WHAT WERE THEY DOING TOGETHER IN THE MARSH EARLIER like what kind of GAY SHIT--

also i'm pretty sure when xiao started explaining his relationship to venti, venti fluttered his lashes at him. like, i recorded the whole quest (bc i didn't last year with the final part n i REALLY WISH I HAD bc i STILL remember the dRAMATIC GASP i had when we had that one beiguang moment in the cutscene), and when i rewatched it earlier i was like. "HANG ON. DID HE JUST FLUTTER HIS LASHES" n rewatched it like three times. maybe my game was just stuttering BUT IT DEFINITELY LOOKED LIKE IT and maybe i'll gif it when i get home from work tonight

BUT ANYWAY (2) point is that the expression work this time was ON POINT like whoever's doing all that over at mhy hq needs to get a raise pronto. venti going (¬‿¬) at all the other immortals was so immaculate. you aren't subtle little man!!!

it's probably just shipper goggles on to an extent, but i feel like the xv implications were really strong this time around, with the parallels to that fontch guy's ancestor, and the guiping n everything... i'm kind of disappointed that we don't get to actually hear any of venti's unobstructed thoughts on xiao; like the ribbing n implications at the dinner are a lot of fun (like, they were totally making out in the marsh before dinner. we all know this. it's very clear imo), but it kind of makes me wonder why we can hear xiao like... do his Very Heavy Implying abt venti's importance to him (though again, he doesn't outright say anything-- we know the full extent n depth of xiao's feelings abt venti (romantic or not) bc we can read his character stories, so technically really he hasn't told us jack squat in the current canon timeline), but the best we get from venti are smug expressions. those expressions are very telling, ofc, but a very unhinged part of me wishes that mhy didn't feel the need to wrap up the xv in layers of allegory and metaphor and just outright heard one of them say, "this person is very dear to me." i know it's just the rabid shipper in me, and i need to be sedated, but i was really kind of hoping that we'd see the allegory w/the fontch guy's ancestor n madame ping lifted away at the end n, like, see or hear it be bound to xv outright. just for purely self-indulgent purposes o(--(

but anyway (3) i also love love loved all the playful ribbing, witty banter, and prev event callbacks btwn the characters!! hu tao n venti canonically making a pact to be poetry friends was SO GOOD you just KNOW hu tao is gonna commission venti to compose a JINGLE for wangsheng advertising purposes later, while zhongli n xiao are like, "this meeting never should have happened. we are all doomed." somehow i legitimately forgot that xq n venti know each other from irodori n was like, "...huh?" when xq mentioning knowing venti for like, a FULL two seconds. the way venti was like "damn you know i was right outside this entire time. can you believe the way some people ignore the wind?" n zhongli was like "hahaha (✿◡‿◡) the harbor is very busy this time of year (✿◠‿◠) it is very hard see or hear an individual person's whereabouts (^人^)"

AND ALSO. PAIMON BEING ELECTED AS THE "MOST DISTINGUISHED GUEST." PAIMON YOU GOT IN THE WAY OF MY DERANGED SELF-DELUSIONMENT MANY TIMES THIS LANTERN RITE BUT THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY. i thought it was interesting how no one nominated venti. like i was kind of expecting xiao to do it (but ofc he nominates traveler) which is fair honestly, n then i was like "IS LUMINE GONNA NOMINATE VENTI????" but then she nominated paimon n paimon was like "wait... me?????" n it was just EXACTLY like a bunch of adults telling the little kid they are the most specialest ever n they should have the honor of doing The Thing. as that little kid growing up, i know the feeling very well lol

there are other bits i'm just,,, rotating around in my mind, like venti and kazuha hanging out on the alcor, the way xiao goes "i can't taste the difference in xiangling's special almond tofu" when you go visit him afterwards, ALL THE GANQING THAT HAPPENED IN THE MAIN STORY I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM I'M SO HAPPY FOR ME I WON VERY HARD THIS LANTERN RITE, n like,,, yeah!!!!

[sysig]

I thought I was done being feral about Tamagotchis but no, it was just a lull

[thetimetravellercat]

And once again my physical state has been dismissed by a medical professional (my GP) as "psychological distress" and "anxiety". I'm just so tired of this. Like, sure I have some anxiety, but it's ok and most importantly it's under control ffs. Other than that, I'm fine. But they never listen to me ugh.

Also, pleasant activities that I thoroughly enjoy doing should not physically destroy me afterwards. Like, you don't go home from having a nice time outside to almost immediately crash because your body is fighting itself as if you suddenly had the flu.

And of course, on top of that, she's decided after seeing me a handful of times that I did not fit the "autistic type" and so I was probably not autistic. Like, sure, dismiss every therapist that has ever seen me, including the pediatric psychiatrist who followed me from age 2.5 to 16, sure, it's fine lol. My current therapist is actually working with me because I'm constantly overcompensating so much that it's making my life extra-exhausting, so yeah, I'm not super surprised that you "don't find me autistic".

She also, of course, told me that that first pediatric psychiatrist was right to not diagnose me officially because it would have been bad for me to get stamped autistic. Like fuck you. I struggled during my entire childhood and adolescence because of his shitty "denial will turn him normal" policy. I never got the help I desperately needed and ended up going through burnout at 16 and had to drop out of highschool because of it. But sure, he was right. Well, fuck you.

[giantkillerjack]

Hey remember that time Tim Burton said that he doesn't include Black characters as leads because it would be too "politically correct"? They just don't fit his "vision", guys! Unless they're villains. Obviously. 🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 /s (Apparently, this is the case so far in the Wednesday show.)

So yeah. This movie here by Jordan "one of the best filmmakers alive" Peele and Henry "the guy who actually directed Nightmare Before Christmas" Selleck being one of the best animated movies to come out in years is so awesome on so many levels:

Kat as a Black alt girl - fuck anyone who says they don't exist! Of course they do! and they're punk as hell! In fact, this specific scene highlights exactly how fucking punk she is: It has been firmly established that HER REBELLION HAS REAL AND SEVERE POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES beyond just dirty looks from preppy kids. If she is expelled, she goes back to prison. This child arrives at school in chains. And she STILL does this within minutes of arriving because she has a strength of identity that she won't let anyone take away from her. WHAT COULD BE MORE PUNK THAN THAT????

Genuinely anti-fascist messaging (Disney would NEVER) and a direct commentary on the prison industrial complex (hey, Tim! have your films had anything important to say, like... ever? Just checking, cause I know you got that incurable progressive mediocrity disease. 😭 Poor bb.)

Excellent comedy! (It's Key and Peele, baby!)

James Hong is there and he is great.

Wonderful and dynamic character/set design!

An interpretation of healing from trauma that was so beautiful I wept.

An extremely sexy giant demon DILF lord!

Original songs!

A FAT FEMALE CHARACTER WHO IS A COOL BADASS WHILE REPRESENTING SUPPORT BETWEEN GENERATIONS OF BLACK WOMEN??? WHAT?!!?!! YES!!!!!!! (hey real quick, everyone! Name the first 10 badass fat female characters that come to your mind! Oh what's that? It's taking you a while to think of even 5???? SO WEIRD. Okay then just name a couple fat Tim Burton characters who aren't villains. Oh?? THERE'S LITERALLY NONE??? HOW FUCKIN' STRANGE)

And let's not forget, THE FIRST TRANS BOY I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A MOVIE!!!! RAUL IS A MAIN CHARACTER WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND HIS AGENCY IS INTEGRAL TO THE PLOT!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 he's perfect and his Hispanic heritage is not only much-needed representation, but it is also relevant to the beautiful artwork he makes in the style of pre-colonial Latin American religious imagery!

Raul's art stands in direct contrast to the grim cold aesthetic of the Catholic Church. (Disney would NEVER) Which IS in other movies I've seen.... so long as the non-Christian imagery represents an ancient evil that highlights the nobility and necessity of the Church for crushing Pagan religions. This is the FIRST TIME I've ever seen an inversion of that trope and it RULES.

Anyway this movie is so good and everyone needs to know about it.

Wendell & Wild (2022)

Bad things happen to people I’m close to... They die.

[cass-cc]

.

[dgaftilwedie]

where the fuck do i read the meloghia fucking. thing. helo me. i need more melone

[wordstome]

how c.ai works and why it's unethical

Okay, since the AI discourse is happening again, I want to make this very clear, because a few weeks ago I had to explain to a (well meaning) person in the community how AI works. I'm going to be addressing people who are maybe younger or aren't familiar with the latest type of "AI", not people who purposely devalue the work of creatives and/or are shills.

The name "Artificial Intelligence" is a bit misleading when it comes to things like AI chatbots. When you think of AI, you think of a robot, and you might think that by making a chatbot you're simply programming a robot to talk about something you want them to talk about, and it's similar to an rp partner. But with current technology, that's not how AI works. For a breakdown on how AI is programmed, CGP grey made a great video about this several years ago (he updated the title and thumbnail recently)

I HIGHLY HIGHLY recommend you watch this because CGP Grey is good at explaining, but the tl;dr for this post is this: bots are made with a metric shit-ton of data. In C.AI's case, the data is writing. Stolen writing, usually scraped fanfiction.

How do we know chatbots are stealing from fanfiction writers? It knows what omegaverse is [SOURCE] (it's a Wired article, put it in incognito mode if it won't let you read it), and when a Reddit user asked a chatbot to write a story about "Steve", it automatically wrote about characters named "Bucky" and "Tony" [SOURCE].

I also said this in the tags of a previous reblog, but when you're talking to C.AI bots, it's also taking your writing and using it in its algorithm: which seems fine until you realize 1. They're using your work uncredited 2. It's not staying private, they're using your work to make their service better, a service they're trying to make money off of.

"But Bucca," you might say. "Human writers work like that too. We read books and other fanfictions and that's how we come up with material for roleplay or fanfiction."

Well, what's the difference between plagiarism and original writing? The answer is that plagiarism is taking what someone else has made and simply editing it or mixing it up to look original. You didn't do any thinking yourself. C.AI doesn't "think" because it's not a brain, it takes all the fanfiction it was taught on, mixes it up with whatever topic you've given it, and generates a response like in old-timey mysteries where somebody cuts a bunch of letters out of magazines and pastes them together to write a letter.

(And might I remind you, people can't monetize their fanfiction the way C.AI is trying to monetize itself. Authors are very lax about fanfiction nowadays: we've come a long way since the Anne Rice days of terror. But this issue is cropping back up again with BookTok complaining that they can't pay someone else for bound copies of fanfiction. Don't do that either.)

Bottom line, here are the problems with using things like C.AI:

It is using material it doesn't have permission to use and doesn't credit anybody. Not only is it ethically wrong, but AI is already beginning to contend with copyright issues.

C.AI sucks at its job anyway. It's not good at basic story structure like building tension, and can't even remember things you've told it. I've also seen many instances of bots saying triggering or disgusting things that deeply upset the user. You don't get that with properly trigger tagged fanworks.

Your work and your time put into the app can be taken away from you at any moment and used to make money for someone else. I can't tell you how many times I've seen people who use AI panic about accidentally deleting a bot that they spent hours conversing with. Your time and effort is so much more stable and well-preserved if you wrote a fanfiction or roleplayed with someone and saved the chatlogs. The company that owns and runs C.AI can not only use whatever you've written as they see fit, they can take your shit away on a whim, either on purpose or by accident due to the nature of the Internet.

DON'T USE C.AI, OR AT THE VERY BARE MINIMUM DO NOT DO THE AI'S WORK FOR IT BY STEALING OTHER PEOPLES' WORK TO PUT INTO IT. Writing fanfiction is a communal labor of love. We share it with each other for free for the love of the original work and ideas we share. Not only can AI not replicate this, but it shouldn't.

(also, this goes without saying, but this entire post also applies to ai art)

[a-b-riddle]

Part Three

Warning: If you don't like Taylor Swift, you're not gonna like this chapter that much, homie. But So Long, London is so fitting for this drabble series. (I guess a series since it's longer than a drabble at this point)

Can’t stop thinking about reader just trying to move on

You had to remind yourself several times not to check in with the guys. It had almost become second nature doing something big like this. But going to another country…

Not that they would care. You told yourself. It was for the best that way.

The expo went better than you expected. You didn’t believe that there would be a line out the door of eager readers wanting to read your book, but you got a decent amount. More than a few told you they couldn’t wait to read it. Several asking for photos and asking questions on any future books, a spin-off or even continuing the series.

When one a particular large group of girls your age asked for a group photo, you could have cried. They were had found each other in an online book club. You had given them your book several months ago. All copies signed with a note thanking them for taking the time to read what you had poured your heart into.

You had spent a large chunk of your free time talking to them. Bonding more so as women than over your book.

"Have you listened to Taylor's new album?"

It had only been out for two days and you had been able to avoid it like the plague. You didn't need to even listen to 'So Long, London' to know it would fucking gut you. So you would enjoy your time in the states. Save the listening experience for when you were packing up their stuff.

They had posted and tagged you before continuing on with the rest of the expo. You had reposted the photo to your own social media. Or at least one attached to the pen name you had crafted. You only had twelve thousand instagram followers, but it was something.

The first day was much like the second. You had attended several Q & A sessions with a panel of more experienced authors and managed to go to a few meet and greets. Before you knew it, it was time to pack up shop.

The agent the publishing house had assigned to you had stuck with you for most of the day. You were able to pick her brain a bit about new ideas for possible future plot lines and her thoughts. Overall, the trip was great.

Not only were you able to make great connections and take a lot back home with you to reference, but for a few days you forgot what waited for you back home. Or rather what wasn't waiting for you.

By the time your plane landed back in London you could barely hold yourself up. You left the expo, went straight to the hotel to shower, pack and head to the airport.

Your flight was delayed. Your luggage was taking forever to get onto the belt. It was only seven, but fuck if you weren’t ready to just call it a day. Tomorrow you would have to start again. Opening up the shop. Coming back to an empty flat. Maybe start gathering up the items the boys had left behind.

Should you give them in separate boxes or just one giant one and let them sort it out themselves? It was easy to discern whose sweatshirt and t-shirts belonged to who, but when it got to things like socks and chargers...

Yeah.

They could sort it themselves.

You could drop it off at Kyle's when you knew he would be at the gym. He was good at avoiding you anyway.

It wasn't until you stood in your apartment did it hit you.

You were alone.

For the first time in over a year you couldn't call one of them over to soothe that ache of loneliness.

For the first time in over a year, you had to relearn how to handle just being alone.

You usually showered at night. Washing away the grime of the day before settling into bed. But today was a new chapter. You woke up wanting to start it on a good note. Plus you went straight to bed after getting home so you still had a bit of airport funk on you.

It had been a week. One official since you had sent that text nailing the coffin shut. You had touched base with your friends who didn't bat an eye at you dating four men at once. They liked them, even if Simon scared them. You didn't give them the details of the breakup or the cause. You were pretty private in your problems and if you wanted relationship advice, you would seek an unbiased unopinion.

You had a good group of friends, but the moment you told them that you were well and truly heartbroken, they would insist the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. Something you were nowhere near ready for.

So you needed to look like you had your shit together. You put on a dress that was feminine and, most importantly, comfy as fuck. An A-line floral frock paired with a light sweater and some white trainers. You knew a few of your friends would be stopping by for tea so you need to look like you were taking the separation well. Even if you were barely holding it together.

With makeup and perfume on, you started the early morning stroll to your shop.

You loved openings. Starting up the register and selecting the playlist for today. Picking out the essential oil to put in the diffuser even though you mostly stuck with a lavender and vanilla blend during the spring months.

For the morning you stuck with a Taylor Swift Instrumental playlist you had found initially for studying, but you liked the peaceful feeling it brought. Even when it covered the most gut wrenching songs.

You had started to collect the online orders that had accumulated over the last week. Sending out the e-mails alerting to your patrons that their orders were ready for pick up. Luckily you weren't set to receive a delivery until tomorrow.

It was eight and everything was set. Although not many people came to a bookstore at eight in the morning, it really didn't bother you opening up that early considering you were the only employee that was on the payroll. It gave you the possibility of making money, but mostly you spent the morning reading or writing.

You flipped the sign over from CLOSED to OPEN. Ready to start take on the day.

You had turned the kettle on in the back room when your friends had stopped by around lunch. You always said it was just tea, but you always had an array of snacks on standby for you all to munch on.

Meredith was complaining about what a dick the new client at the law firm was being. An absolute slime who had been married to his wife for almost twenty-five years before he decided to fuck his twenty-two year old assistant.

Tabitha didn't want to talk about work. To her, her career in tech was just a paycheck. She did what she needed to do and left when she was done.

You talked about the expo and how your book. Although neither of them really read, they had promised that they would read your book. You didn't hold your breath. They had reposted your posts as well as making ones of their owns in celebration of you. Words of praise about your dedication and hard work.

You realized that even though they couldn't give you the support you needed as readers, they supported you blindly. You could have written absolute garbage, but they would still support you.

You talked about how many people liked your book and wanted pictures and to sign their copies.

Then came the question you had been rehearsing since you had texted them a week ago. They both shared a look before Meredith finally asked.

"How are you holding up?" You gave a half-smile and a shrug. So perfectly rehearsed in your head you were ready to deliver your lies lines.

"I'm fine," you lied. "It was just fading so there isn't much of a difference, I guess." Not necessarily a lie. "We just wanted different things and were on different paths in life." Not a lie. "It's for the best." You weren't sure if that last one was a lie or not just yet.

They both shared a passing look before returning their gazes back to you. "You know you can come to us about this stuff." Tabitha's hand reached across the table, placing a hand on top of yours.

"It wasn't going to work out." You added. "Situations like that don't and I should have known better."

"A situation?" Meredith asked. "When have you ever called it a situation?"

"It always was one."

"I love you enough to call bullshit." She raised her eyebrow at you, crossing her arms over her chest. "You loved them and you need to stop pretending this is easy."

"You're a divorce lawyer, Mere," You reminded. "You see marriages fall apart every day."

"I do. I get to see from across the table how a woman is still willing to take her cheating arse of a husband back. So the fact that you went from on cloud nine with all of them to not even talking about the break up is concerning to say the least."

"Tabitha," you looked at your only ally left. "A little back up would be nice."

"I'm with her on this one." She confirmed. "You loved them. Not that I cared, but if you weren't talking about books or the shop, you were talking about them. What you did, where you went. How they fucked you."

"I think I'll miss that part the most." Mere sighed. "I lived vicariously through you."

"You know you could actually date people." Tabitha suggested.

"I'd rather live with chronic carpal tunnel than a man." You almost choked on your tea. If you were wearing pearls you would have used the comedic relief of clutching them to break the awkwardness of the current topic of conversation.

"That should be put on a t-shirt." You suggested

"I wouldn't mind it on a welcome mat to be honest." Tabitha added.

"But in all seriousness, cut this bullshit." Meredith gave you an sympathetic smile. "We're here. Good, bad and ugly."

You returned her smile. "I know."

You had closed up shop for the evening. Your lunch had gone longer than expected so now you were left doing the dishes and clean up during closing. You were setting the last cup on the drying rack when you heard the front door chime.

Shit.

You must have forgotten to lock the door when you turned the sign.

“I’m sorry!” You apologized, making your way out of the back break area and to the front of the store. “We’re-”

“Closed.” He said, locking the door behind him. “I saw the sign.”

[a-simple-imagine]

Don't They Know a Rabbit Can't Cry

Synopsis: while travelling the witches' road you're forced to confront the two witches who left you centuries ago without an explanation.

Pairing: Agatha Harkness x fem!reader x Rio Vidal

Words: 2.3k+

WARNINGS - swearing, choking, knives, nightmares, brief mentions of burning and being buried alive and playful use of 'mommy'

It's a quiet evening as you pluck wildflowers in the wake of the setting sun. You would have to head home soon; to avoid the danger of navigating your way back in the dark. The older witch did not like you being out alone at night but you weren't quite done yet. The bouquet had to be perfect. Not that she would ever say otherwise. not to you anyway. Too soft. Too sweet. She had a soft spot for you. They both did. You twist the delicate stem between your fingers. Lavender. Beautiful. Intoxicating. And... hot. Sizzling against the pad of your pointer finger and thumb. And searing into the skin. You drop it quickly. Flames swallowing the single flower. Bizarre. You take another. plucking it from its spot. Flames shoot up from the ground surrounding you entirely. Red hot and roaring as the flowers make way for beautiful flames that dance in the breeze. Creeping closer and closer. Quicker and quicker. Until you feel it burn against your skin.

You jolt up. Sweaty and warm in the night's cold embrace. You're safe. Right now at least. No fire. No nothing. You rub your temple. Just a nightmare. They'd been more frequent as of late. Little flashes of the past engulfed in fiery fury. Fitting. The makeshift campsite was still. The ashes of the small fire dance in the breeze. Witches litter the ground in a moment of respite. You didn't know them but you imagine they're quite desperate. Most weren't brave enough to even dare travel the witches' road anymore. Pushing up you decide to go for a walk. Not far just enough to feel the cool air and calm your heart. Away from prying eyes. There wasn't much around here anyway.

"can't sleep?" it's a startling thing. To hear such a familiar sound so abruptly. It brings with it a quickened heart. A look of surprise. that voice. An unpleasant reminder of the past. That's all this trip seemed to be. A constant trip down memory lane. In many ways, you wish you had never agreed but maybe your darkened heart may still hold a few soft spots.

"just needed a minute alone,"

"That's a dangerous game around here," there is a playfulness to her tone. one that makes your jaw tense.

"can you just go away?" you ask. "I can't- I can't deal with this right now."

"playing hard to get?" just as playful but different. Still familiar. Annoyingly so. "what happened to that sweet girl who brought me flowers every day."

"don't," a threat. You wished not to relive the past right now. Not with them. They didn't deserve to remember you so fondly.

"made us little flower crowns." her voice travelled the woods. Surrounding you from all directions. Trapping you in your spot.

"stop."

"used to bring us fresh bread."

"fuck off," you bite back with an equally sharp turn. Subdued anger began to rise at the mere sight of them. Agatha Harkness. The harbinger of your nightmares. The years had been kind to her appearance but if rumours are to be believed she had a dark reputation. Evil. Soulless. Murderer. Maybe in another lifetime, you would have disagreed. A green witch stood to her side. Far enough away for you to know they weren't on good terms either. She sported a signature smirk you wanted to slap away. Rio Vidal. Infuriating in every conceivable way. They both brought different feelings. Similar but still different. "why can't you just leave me alone?

"we're only checking on you, dear,"

"After such a scary nightmare." Rio teased. "do you need to get in mommy's bed tonight?"

You take a deep breath. Don't raise to her level. Don't give her the satisfaction. It's not quite admitting defeat but you're tired. Falling against a nearby tree. "please leave." you let your head fall back against the bark.

"I'm sure Agatha won't mind,"

"leave the poor girl alone," as always Agatha comes in to mediate. It's always just a little misleading. The woman crouches down before you. Glassy eyes bore into yours and for a moment you're that girl again. The one they remember. Who picked flowers and planned picnics? Ran in the meadow and liked to sit at the edge of the lake. Who held on tight to Agatha's hand as she walked you home. You didn't have much back then. Lived in a small cottage in the woods with your family. The older witch came into your life so abruptly. Looking back on it now she probably just saw a naive girl she could play with. "are you okay?" her question brings you back to reality. The here and now. Stuck on the road with a bunch of washed-up witches and the two people you hate most in the world. Stuck in a never-ending cycle of reliving the past. The end seemed so far away. Who knows if you'll even make it that far with this useless bunch. "do you wanna tell us about it?"

"Agatha," said softly.

"yes, dear?"

"fuck. Off." quiet but firm. You can tell she wasn't expecting it. A little chuckle sounds from behind her. The witch raises.

"fine." Agatha answers. "forgotten how stubborn you can be." your eyes trail after her as she begins to walk away, Rio takes a moment before following. And the question that has been bubbling in your chest for centuries finally comes up.

"Why did you leave me?" they slow to a stop. Yet to turn back. Did you even really want to know the answer? Perhaps it was a question best left unanswered. Years of bitterness already seeped into your bones. Little to be said to make you less angry at them. Less murderous rage. "what did I do?"

"Nothing," Agatha urges. Short and simple. No explanation needed apparently. "don't stay up too late,"

"then why?" you asked again. a little louder. A little firmer. Why was she acting like this? Pretending she cared. It was infuriating.

"Just tell her," Rio presses, turning back to you.

"don't," Agatha places her hand on Rio's shoulder but that doesn't stop the green witch from sulking towards you. A malicious little smile.

"come on, look at her," a knife pointed in your direction as she makes her way over. "just as pitiable as she always has been." she crouches down in front of you much like Agatha had before. But you don't see that girl you once were. Her eyes fill you with anger. It's strange to think you used to admire her so. Used to put flowers in her hair, and she let you. The tip of her blade forces your head up ever so slightly. "A pathetic little girl. Scared of the world," a sharp pain. You swallow hard  "scared of anything real."

"Rio," Agatha walks up, towering over you two. "put it away,"

"Why should I?" she wonders. Pressing a little harder. "tell her."

"What happened to you?" Agatha questions. Your eyes flicker up to her. Did she really want to know or was it diversion. "where does this hate come from?"

"you left me," you reply. A loud bark of laughter from Rio as her blade lowers.

"no," the woman shakes her head slowly. "that's... not it."

"boring," Rio groans loudly. "I didn't lie, y'know? I know you don't want to believe me but it's true. Isn't it Agatha?" the woman rises to her feet. Patting the other witch on the shoulder. "we left because you were weak."

"it... it wasn't quite like that," Agatha offers out a hand. You brush it off, standing up. "we thought you'd be better off."

"alone?"

"without us." Agatha corrects. "you were so..." her eyes trail over you. "different back then. You didn't know you were a witch. You were just so..."

"innocent," Rio insists.

"no- well, yes but not in the way you might think. You just needed a push and we were being so careful,"

"soft," Rio interjects once more.

This little game of back-and-forth was cute. But you didn't care. Rio was using it as an excuse to get some sick sense of pleasure from throwing in insults while Agatha was doing anything to avoid saying what she thought. You knew Agatha. She could be just as mean as Rio. "can you get to the point?"

"you already know," you ignore Rio, looking straight at Agatha.

"We wanted to protect you," you can't help but roll your eyes. That was the best excuse she could come up with. Some fairytail bullshit. "felt easier to leave." you glance at Rio who looked just as over it as you did.

"Agatha thought you'd be better off without us. That we shouldn't be dragging you into a world you weren't ready for. Blah blah blah. Too weak to come with us. If we left you wouldn't get caught up in anything bad,"

"Rio was actually the one who didn't want to go,"

"Whatever," she huffs. Her gaze down at the knife in her hand; twisting the edge against the tip of her forefinger. "I thought it'd be worse if we just left you. that it'd fuck with you- we just needed to be harsher."

"but I was right,"

"you were wrong," Rio answers.

"How? I mean look at her," Agatha ushers towards you. "a full-fledged witch. Survived centuries. That's something. You didn't need us."

"do you wanna tell her or should I?" you wonder if Rio is genuine in her question or if this was just another attempt at teasing. This conversation had mainly been between the two of them.

"Tell me what?"

"I wasn't... okay, Agatha," you admit for perhaps the first time ever out loud. Only Rio knows what happened to you in the years between them leaving and the last time you saw her. You made sure of that. The two of them had grand legacies but you wanted to be forgotten in history. Like the legend of Bloody Mary. Not a sole dare speaks your name anymore because who knows what'll happen if you show up.

"oh bunny," a pet name you hadn't heard in a very long time. It almost seemed childish now. Pathetic. "just talk to me."

"you don't care,"

"god do I have to do everything around here," Rio complains. "she was tried as a witch, Agatha. Use your head for once."

"Rio," you huff.

She rolls her eyes. "burned at the stake."

"Rio," you snarl. "stop. I don't wanna talk about it."

"yes you do," she responds sharply. "you want nothing more than to make Agatha Harkness feel guilty for leaving you. Hurt her the way she hurt you." you dart for her in one swift motion. A hand around her neck. The teasing just becoming too much, and you were sick of hearing her talk.

"you hurt me too," you bark, shoving her against the nearest tree. What should be fear is instead a small smirk and dark eyes.

"fiesty," she quips. She knows you won't kill her. You can't.

"you're the only person to ever leave a mark." you resume. "an ugly scar that my body just refuses to heal."

"come on sweet one." you drive a little harder. "make it hurt."

"do you know what it's like to be tied up and buried in a coffin? To slowly suffocate to death over and over and over again," fingernails dig into the skin of her neck. You can see it's having an effect. The wobble in her smile. "the way your body screams for oxygen. Your insides burning with desire but there is nothing you can do?"

"drop her," Agatha's hand reaches your shoulder and your powers kick in. Your free hand waves her away. Energy blasts her backwards and she stumbles to the ground. A lesser witch wouldn't know of Agatha's ability to drain magic but you were smarter than that. careful in your use despite the speed. control what's around her rather than directly blasting her.

"don't touch me," you growl.

"our... little girl... is all grown... up," choked out of Rio's mouth. You watch her grow a little paler. A little more starved for breath. And then you drop her. She crumbles to the floor. "and filled..." she coughs. "with... murderous rage... apparently."

"calm down," Agatha tries from her place on the floor, as she tries to get up. You use your magic to help her up. Leaving her hovering just a few feet off the ground.

"y'know, when they dragged me from bed and burned me at the stake all I could think about was you two. Surely, they didn't just leave without a word. They'll... come back and help me." you can still picture that night. The confusion. the heat. The pain. "you left me," you walk towards Agatha. "and look at you now. The great Agatha Harkness is completely powerless."

"we're sorry, okay- aren't we rio?" rio shrugs a little. With a heavy sigh, you drop Agatha to the ground. "you've come a long way bunny."

"wasn't really a choice,"

"Can we just backtrack a little," the older witch requests. Brushing herself off as she stands back up.

"immortality looks good on you," Rio teases. You hold up a middle finger.

"you're immortal?"

"for the longest time, I thought one of you cursed me with it. Some fucked up way of protecting me. But then I went looking for you. Heard all about your extra circular activities. Witch killer, hiding behind dark magic," Agatha just looks back as you turn to Rio. She knew the story. "Rio was easier to find,"

"should have stayed dead," Rio insisted, the cold metal blade dancing across the scar on your neck. "how easier that would be," you shove her away and she just chuckles. "oh how I missed this," she wonders over to were Agatha is stood.

"I'm going back to sleep," you announce. "let's just leave it at that,"

"Why did you come," Agatha asks. You wonder if it's worth the conversation. The headache of continuing to engage with them. "if you hate me so much?"

"to die," you say eventually as you head back to camp.

// NEXT

[thelostconsultant]

Not a gold digger

pairing: Max Verstappen x reader

summary: Fans think you only want Max's money. But as it turns out, you were wealthy before he came into your life--you just don't make it obvious.

warnings: No smut, but there's a part that makes me say MDNI.

note: So... I'm kinda back? Idk, I'll see if I'll stick around.

The toxicity of the fandom was becoming quite entertaining, really. It was the third time since you and Max had made your relationship public half a year ago that someone started an anti gold digger campaign to protect your boyfriend. They truly believed they were doing this for a greater good, and they all begged Max for his attention.

It always began after they sniffed out he had given you something expensive as a gift or took you shopping to a luxury boutique. While there were some people who tried to protect you by pointing out that maybe he enjoyed showering you with gifts, the rest didn't care about that. 

You lived in a small apartment back home, you were driving a five years old Renault SUV, and no one knew what you did for a living. This was enough to enrage them and make them believe all you wanted was Max's money at the end of the day. Just think about the way she's looking at him, one of them wrote about two months ago, she's so clearly not in love with him. Poor Max, someone please save him. 

Ridiculous.

“Is everything okay?” he asked when he got home and kissed the top of your head. 

You were sitting in his sim rig, using the time while it was free to practice, because you wanted to play with him when you weren't here together, and he was more than happy to show you the basics. “Someone started another campaign to cancel me,” you replied casually as you got out with his help. 

Even when you were standing in front of him, he didn't let go of your hand, instead he raised it to his lips to place a soft kiss on its back. “Gold digging?” You nodded with a sad look on your face, but less than five seconds later you were both laughing. “Look, I know you're having way too much fun with this, but–”

Without waiting for him to finish, you raised your hand to make him stop. “I'm not stepping out of the shadows, Max. I've been hiding for years, even fucking Forbes doesn't know my real name or face,” you told him.

Back in the old days, when Bitcoin appeared, your geeky uncle had gotten into mining and trading it. He knew the potential, so he put most of his savings into buying them, then he held onto them, and by the time he got sick years later, he knew they were valuable and would be worth a lot more in the upcoming years. In his will, he left his savings and his wallet to you, giving you the chance to use them as you wished since you had learned everything about crypto from him.

So now you had Bitcoin as well as old fashioned investments, and you had used your money to help out an up-and-coming tech company for a forty percent share, and it was later sold to a tech giant for a lot of money. But despite your wealth, you chose to stay under the radar, because you loved your small apartment, and you weren't about to trade it for some fancy penthouse. 

You had met Max the year before in Las Vegas. F1 was a sport you watched with your uncle while he was still alive, and you were hell-bent on getting a VIP pass for the weekend. If you asked your boyfriend, he would say it was love at first sight, but in reality he was just annoyed by you. For a solid ten seconds, he would correct you every time you talked about it.

You agreed that you would hide in Max's apartment until this latest campaign died down, which gave you some time to spend together in peace. Every now and then you checked the tags to see how things were going, and after the silence of the past few days, today your name was trending again. Ready to have a good laugh, you opened the tag, but the most popular post gave you a minor stroke.

“Oh, fuck me,” you yelled as you launched your phone into the couch.

Max pulled the headset down to his neck as he looked over at you. “Is everything okay?” You raised your finger to your lips as if you wanted him to stay quiet, but luckily he got the message. “I'm muted. So?”

You grabbed your phone and went over to him. “They know. One of those idiots from the company I helped back in the day posted a tweet to protect me, saying that if it wasn't for me being an angel investor, they wouldn't be millionaires now,” you summarized as you gave him the device.

He scrolled through a series of tweets, and found a post from a journalist of Forbes in which he promised a proper investigative piece based on this info. He handed you the phone, then wrapped an arm around your waist. “It's okay, schatje. I know that's not what you wanted, but maybe they'll stop with the recurring hate campaign now,” he tried. “And if you’re worried about the article… Don’t be. There is nothing compromising about you. Yes, you inherited the money, but you have proven you know what to do with it.”

“Maybe you’re right,” you admitted with a sigh. 

“I’m usually right. C’mere,” he said as he reached out to pull you closer, but you glanced over at the camera. Rolling his eyes, he quickly turned it off, then gave you an expectant look. “Will you hug me now? And I want a kiss too.”

With a laugh, you leaned down to wrap your arms around his neck and gave him a soft kiss. But he wanted more, his hand slowly sneaked under your shorts, his fingers running over your clothed cunt before he decided to pull your panties aside and dip a finger between your folds. You moaned into the kiss, but he pulled away a second later to lick his finger clean. 

Shaking your head with a chuckle, you patted his shoulder and walked back to the couch. You could feel Max’s eyes on you the whole time, and when you looked at him again, he flashed a devilish smile at you. “I should quit the stream. Now that I had a taste, I want more,” he told you. 

“I’m not going anywhere, just try to be patient.”

He looked back at the screen, then put the headset back on his head and unmuted his mic. “Sorry, I have to go. See you next time,” he told the others, then logged out. You couldn’t remember the last time he left the sim rig this fast, and only a few seconds later he was kneeling in front of you, eagerly reaching up to pull your shorts off you.

liked by user1, user2 and 947,896 others

f1gossips: Breaking news! Turns out Max Verstappen's girlfriend isn't a gold digger after all as she has her own fortune according to the investigative article published by Forbes. Will the fans apologize?

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user2: And here I was, thinking she's just a greedy airhead...

user3: Easy to be wealthy with your uncle's money.

↳ user4: Have you read the whole thing? She invested the money and helped out several startups--that later became pretty successful--as an angel investor. Yes, maybe she inherited a lot of money, but she knows what to do with it.

↳ user5: May I remind you how many F1 drivers started their careers with their families's money?

user6: Told you she wasn't a gold digger. Suck it, haters.

liked by yourusername, landonorris and 1,577,353 others

maxverstappen1: If you don't buy your girlfriend gifts every once in a while, you're a bad boyfriend. I love to spoil her, it's not a crime. I love her, I'm proud of her, and you can send us as much hate as you want, it will only make us stronger.

tagged: yourusername

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yourusername: I'd be perfectly fine without the gifts, I already told you.

↳ maxverstappen1: I don't care.

landonorris: You're absolutely right!

↳ maxverstappen1: You're single, how would you know?

↳ landonorris: Just FYI, I've been in relationships before.

danielricciardo: You're so disgustingly smitten with her. (I love you both.)

[ms-demeanor]

Why reblog machine-generated art?

When I was ten years old I took a photography class where we developed black and white photos by projecting light on papers bathed in chemicals. If we wanted to change something in the image, we had to go through a gradual, arduous process called dodging and burning.

When I was fifteen years old I used photoshop for the first time, and I remember clicking on the clone tool or the blur tool and feeling like I was cheating.

When I was twenty eight I got my first smartphone. The phone could edit photos. A few taps with my thumb were enough to apply filters and change contrast and even spot correct. I was holding in my hand something more powerful than the huge light machines I'd first used to edit images.

When I was thirty six, just a few weeks ago, I took a photo class that used Lightroom Classic and again, it felt like cheating. It made me really understand how much the color profiles of popular web images I'd been seeing for years had been pumped and tweaked and layered with local edits to make something that, to my eyes, didn't much resemble photography. To me, photography is light on paper. It's what you capture in the lens. It's not automatic skin smoothing and a local filter to boost the sky. This reminded me a lot more of the photomanipulations my friend used to make on deviantart; layered things with unnatural colors that put wings on buildings or turned an eye into a swimming pool. It didn't remake the images to that extent, obviously, but it tipped into the uncanny valley. More real than real, more saturated more sharp and more present than the actual world my lens saw. And that was before I found the AI assisted filters and the tool that would identify the whole sky for you, picking pieces of it out from between leaves.

You know, it's funny, when people talk about artists who might lose their jobs to AI they don't talk about the people who have already had to move on from their photo editing work because of technology. You used to be able to get paid for basic photo manipulation, you know? If you were quick with a lasso or skilled with masks you could get a pretty decent chunk of change by pulling subjects out of backgrounds for family holiday cards or isolating the pies on the menu for a mom and pop. Not a lot, but enough to help. But, of course, you can just do that on your phone now. There's no need to pay a human for it, even if they might do a better job or be more considerate toward the aesthetic of an image.

And they certainly don't talk about all the development labs that went away, or the way that you could have trained to be a studio photographer if you wanted to take good photos of your family to hang on the walls and that digital photography allowed in a parade of amateurs who can make dozens of iterations of the same bad photo until they hit on a good one by sheer volume and luck; if you want to be a good photographer everyone can do that why didn't you train for it and spend a long time taking photos on film and being okay with bad photography don't you know that digital photography drove thousands of people out of their jobs.

My dad told me that he plays with AI the other day. He hosts a movie podcast and he puts up thumbnails for the downloads. In the past, he'd just take a screengrab from the film. Now he tells the Bing AI to make him little vignettes. A cowboy running away from a rhino, a dragon arm-wrestling a teddy bear. That kind of thing. Usually based on a joke that was made on the show, or about the subject of the film and an interest of the guest.

People talk about "well AI art doesn't allow people to create things, people were already able to create things, if they wanted to create things they should learn to create things." Not everyone wants to make good art that's creative. Even fewer people want to put the effort into making bad art for something that they aren't passionate about. Some people want filler to go on the cover of their youtube video. My dad isn't going to learn to draw, and as the person who he used to ask to photoshop him as Ant-Man because he certainly couldn't pay anyone for that kind of thing, I think this is a great use case for AI art. This senior citizen isn't going to start cartooning and at two recordings a week with a one-day editing turnaround he doesn't even really have the time for something like a Fiverr commission. This is a great use of AI art, actually.

I also know an artist who is going Hog Fucking Wild creating AI art of their blorbos. They're genuinely an incredibly talented artist who happens to want to see their niche interest represented visually without having to draw it all themself. They're posting the funny and good results to a small circle of mutuals on socials with clear information about the source of the images; they aren't trying to sell any of the images, they're basically using them as inserts for custom memes. Who is harmed by this person saying "i would like to see my blorbo lasciviously eating an ice cream cone in the is this a pigeon meme"?

The way I use machine-generated art, as an artist, is to proof things. Can I get an explosion to look like this. What would a wall of dead computer monitors look like. Would a ballerina leaping over the grand canyon look cool? Sometimes I use AI art to generate copyright free objects that I can snip for a collage. A lot of the time I use it to generate ideas. I start naming random things and seeing what it shows me and I start getting inspired. I can ask CrAIon for pose reference, I can ask it to show me the interior of spaces from a specific angle.

I profoundly dislike the antipathy that tumblr has for AI art. I understand if people don't want their art used in training pools. I understand if people don't want AI trained on their art to mimic their style. You should absolutely use those tools that poison datasets if you don't want your art included in AI training. I think that's an incredibly appropriate action to take as an artist who doesn't want AI learning from your work.

However I'm pretty fucking aggressively opposed to copyright and most of the "solid" arguments against AI art come down to "the AIs viewed and learned from people's copyrighted artwork and therefore AI is theft rather than fair use" and that's a losing argument for me. In. Like. A lot of ways. Primarily because it is saying that not only is copying someone's art theft, it is saying that looking at and learning from someone's art can be defined as theft rather than fair use.

Also because it's just patently untrue.

But that doesn't really answer your question. Why reblog machine-generated art? Because I liked that piece of art.

It was made by a machine that had looked at billions of images - some copyrighted, some not, some new, some old, some interesting, many boring - and guided by a human and I liked it. It was pretty. It communicated something to me. I looked at an image a machine made - an artificial picture, a total construct, something with no intrinsic meaning - and I felt a sense of quiet and loss and nostalgia. I looked at a collection of automatically arranged pixels and tasted salt and smelled the humidity in the air.

I liked it.

I don't think that all AI art is ugly. I don't think that AI art is all soulless (i actually think that 'having soul' is a bizarre descriptor for art and that lacking soul is an equally bizarre criticism). I don't think that AI art is bad for artists. I think the problem that people have with AI art is capitalism and I don't think that's a problem that can really be laid at the feet of people curating an aesthetic AI art blog on tumblr.

Machine learning isn't the fucking problem the problem is massive corporations have been trying hard not to pay artists for as long as massive corporations have existed (isn't that a b-plot in the shape of water? the neighbor who draws ads gets pushed out of his job by product photography? did you know that as recently as ten years ago NewEgg had in-house photographers who would take pictures of the products so users wouldn't have to rely on the manufacturer photos? I want you to guess what killed that job and I'll give you a hint: it wasn't AI)

Am I putting a human out of a job because I reblogged an AI-generated "photo" of curtains waving in the pale green waters of an imaginary beach? Who would have taken this photo of a place that doesn't exist? Who would have painted this hypersurrealistic image? What meaning would it have had if they had painted it or would it have just been for the aesthetic? Would someone have paid for it or would it be like so many of the things that artists on this site have spent dozens of hours on only to get no attention or value for their work?

My worst ratio of hours to notes is an 8-page hand-drawn detailed ink comic about getting assaulted at a concert and the complicated feelings that evoked that took me weeks of daily drawing after work with something like 54 notes after 8 years; should I be offended if something generated from a prompt has more notes than me? What does that actually get the blogger? Clout? I believe someone said that popularity on tumblr gets you one thing and that is yelled at.

What do you get out of this? Are you helping artists right now? You're helping me, and I'm an artist. I've wanted to unload this opinion for a while because I'm sick of the argument that all Real Artists think AI is bullshit. I'm a Real Artist. I've been paid for Real Art. I've been commissioned as an artist.

And I find a hell of a lot of AI art a lot more interesting than I find human-generated corporate art or Thomas Kincaid (but then, I repeat myself).

There are plenty of people who don't like AI art and don't want to interact with it. I am not one of those people. I thought the gay sex cats were funny and looked good and that shitposting is the ideal use of a machine image generation: to make uncopyrightable images to laugh at.

I think that tumblr has decided to take a principled stand against something that most people making the argument don't understand. I think tumblr's loathing for AI has, generally speaking, thrown weight behind a bunch of ideas that I think are going to be incredibly harmful *to artists specifically* in the long run.

Anyway. If you hate AI art and you don't want to interact with people who interact with it, block me.