#i didn’t realize the oscar’s were today until like 2 hours ago so i had to make this so fast

[slightlyplant]

did you guys see that one rando at the oscars?? literally WHO is he 😭 who let him innn 😭😭😭

[dont-let-me-stop-you]

Singing superstar, American Idol breakout and The Voice coach Kelly Clarkson gets her own talk show. And, boy, does she have a lot to say!

Clarkson is still shocked that NBC crowned her the host of her very own daytime talk show. “When it was brought up to me, I was like, ‘What? No one’s going to watch!’” she says, with a self-deprecating laugh. It’s exactly that everyday charm that makes Clarkson so relatable—and so perfect as the host of The Kelly Clarkson Show (premiering Monday, September 9, at 2 p.m. ET on NBC). She calls the opportunity “a dream I never had but didn’t know I loved—and wanted!”

Clarkson, of course, is no stranger to television. The Grammy-winning songstress got her break in 2002 at the age of 20, after winning the inaugural season of American Idol. She went on to serve as a mentor on ABC’s singing competition Duets and as a bubbly coach on NBC’s The Voice, where she’ll return alongside Blake Shelton, Gwen Stefani and John Legend when season 17 begins September 23.

She grew up singing in church alongside her fellow parishioners in Burleson, Texas, not realizing she had a special talent until she was asked to join the junior high choir. “I was like, ‘Nerd alert!’ And then I became a nerd!” she jokes. It was then that Clarkson realized she had a versatile range and was a natural onstage. “I was oddly comfortable. Even from the first time; I never was nervous.”

Her mother, a first-grade English teacher, wasn’t exactly thrilled that her daughter turned down college to pursue a singing career. “When I said I wanted to be a singer, she was like, ‘Well, a lot of people do,’ and she was right.” But Clarkson appreciated the nudge to perfect her craft and go after her dream, which was initially to be a backup vocalist for noteworthy acts. “On Idol, I saw so many parents lie to their children, telling them they’re awesome and should pursue it when they were so off-key,” she admits. “My mom inspired me to work extra hard.”

She now thinks of early days on Idol as “the ultimate boot camp.” With the network still figuring out the show’s concept during season one, the contenders were frequently whisked from one location to another, asked to perform songs they didn’t know minutes before taking the stage, and worked through exhaustion. “I feel like I can handle anything now!” Clarkson, 37, says confidently, which will definitely come in handy for her own show, as she will be filming The Voice and The Kelly Clarkson Show simultaneously, rushing from one NBC set to another on a golf cart. “It’s going to get a little tricky, but I think we figured it out,” she says with her signature perk and optimism.

Dream Guests Clarkson has learned a few tricks from appearing on so many talk shows herself. As her own career progressed from Idol breakout to format-spanning superstar, she found herself a guest on just about all of them, talking about how she came from a little town in Texas, went on to win TV’s biggest talent show and amass dozens of awards (including three Grammys)—as well as notch more than 25 Billboard Top 100 singles, including the No. 1 pop hits “Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You),” “My Life Would Suck Without You” and “A Moment Like This.”

She’s a true talk-show fan who “grew up on Oprah,” she says. “My mom and I watched her every day after school.” She also appreciates the humor of Ellen DeGeneres—in fact, her new show will lead into The Ellen DeGeneres Show in the NBC afternoon lineup—and says she hopes to infuse elements of her talk-show idols into her own show format. She wants to provide a lighthearted escape from the day while tackling more serious topics.

Her dream guest is Oscar-winning actress Meryl Streep. “I’m a tad bit obsessed,” she says. She’d also love to wrangle some of her musical pals, like Dolly Parton and superstar country couple Trisha Yearwood and Garth Brooks. But Clarkson is just as excited to sit down and chat with everyday folks doing noteworthy endeavors. She’s quick to rave about a woman who runs an organization that throws birthday parties for homeless youth, whom she had on the pilot test run of her show. “I hope we bring her back!”

But music, naturally, will always be a recurring theme. “We’re opening up every show with music and highlighting artists we love,” she says, teasing that she might even join a few of her guests onstage. She also promises a mix of serious and heartwarming moments, hilarious skits and interesting guests across the board. And expect “anything and everything to happen,” whether she’s prepared for it or not.

“The thing I’ve learned from people like Jimmy [Fallon], Seth [Meyers] and Ellen is don’t plan too much because life takes hold of the show and things start happening,” she says. So Clarkson is ready to go with whatever pops up, a skill she demonstrated when hosting the 2019 Billboard Music Awards several months ago while battling appendicitis and requiring emergency surgery hours after exiting the MGM Grand Garden Arena.

The multifaceted star, who’s had hits on the pop, dance and country charts, admits she had somewhat of a déjà vu moment weeks later when she had an ovarian cyst burst seconds before going live on The Voice. “I grabbed Blake’s arm, Carson [Daly] said, ‘We’re live,’ and I thought, Oh Lord, here we go!” she recalls. Clarkson battled on and wound up back in the ER, joking that she felt horrible for making the paramedic attending to her so nervous that he had to poke her three times to find her vein for the IV.

The only thing that scares her, she says, is potentially not knowing the backstory of all of her guests ahead of time. “There’s no way I could possibly know everyone,” she says, candidly. But she’s surrounded herself with a team to keep her prepped, a lesson she learned from country superstar Reba McEntire, who she’s looked to as a mentor throughout her career (and who is her husband’s former stepmother). “She told me once, ‘You’re caring too much about too many things. You have to have people in the right spots,’” says Clarkson, who deemed the advice life-changing.

Clarkson is mostly unfiltered, which she likes to think is a positive trait. “Sometimes my husband doesn’t agree,” she jokes—and she does her best to make everyone feel comfortable on her set.

Family Affair Speaking of her husband, you won’t see Brandon Blackstock, 42, on the show—if he has anything to do with it. Clarkson admits her attempts to drag him out during the practice rounds were futile. “But I’ll probably force it somehow!” she says.

They’ve been married for almost six years. They met in 2006 when Clarkson performed on an Academy of Country Music Awards telecast and reconnected six years later at Super Bowl XLVI after Clarkson’s then-manager, Narvel Blackstock (McEntire’s ex-husband and Blackstock’s father), reintroduced them. “I found out he was single and I was like, ‘Yes, please!’” she says, recalling that he ticked all the boxes—including that he had career in the industry, meaning that he would understand her life in the limelight. The duo later learned they were, coincidentally, raised in the same small town, which further cemented their bond.

Today, Blackstock manages her, and Clarkson deems him her ultimate teammate. “We both love what we do, but we’re really good about checking out whenever we make it home from work,” she says. They spend time together every night after putting their kids to bed. “Sometimes we’ll go out or we’ll just listen to music,” she says, noting she’s “the bold one” and will often initiate a slow dance. “I’ll ask and he’s like, ‘OK!’ He’s probably just trying to get lucky!”

When she’s not at work, Clarkson prefers the quiet life and quality family time with their kids, River, 5, and Remington, 3, and Blackstock’s two children from his previous marriage, Savannah, 17, and Seth, 12, at their homes in Los Angeles and the Nashville area. “We go bowling, putt-putt, have movie nights, color together, ride little bikes in the backyard,” she says. In her physically demanding line of work, it’s also important to prioritize her health by planning quieter times, whether that’s harvesting honey from her backyard beehives or cooking with eggs from her hens. And she credits her typical happy-go-lucky persona to decades of hard work.

“I used to suffer from depression and I could easily slip back into that if I weren’t steadily paying attention to time management. With all the things that I do, I definitely need time for me,” she says. One of her favorite self-care practices includes keeping a gratitude journal. She is a sucker for a good self-help book and a big believer in surrounding herself with positive people. “Once I started weeding out [negative] people, it made a huge difference,” she says.

Another must is constantly trying new things. “I like being all over the map. I get really bored with monotony and I can’t stand to do the same thing,” she says. Clarkson enjoyed voicing the character Moxy in the animated movie UglyDolls early this year. “It was a fun challenge to hop into the [recording] booth,” she says.

Beyond her new TV series, she has her sights set on Broadway. She admits that between her current work and raising kids, it would be hard to pull off logistically. But she’s hoping to sneak in an upcoming NBC Live performance. “I want them to do White Christmas and I want to be Rosemary Clooney!” she says.

She acknowledges that she has enough on her plate for the time being, juggling multiple jobs, family and kids of all ages and stages. While her toddlers are in what she describes as a “cute stage,” which involves them adorably singing along to her vast array of tunes, her 17-year-old stepdaughter’s musical choices sometimes lead her into some interesting new parenting terrain.

“I’ll be in the car with her and I’m like, ‘What are we listening to? Do not let your father hear this,’” she says, with a laugh. “She’s a good kid, but if those hardcore lyrics ever lead to action, then stepmom is gonna take it away!” she playfully threatens.

Clarkson believes she’ll be able to handle whatever comes her way—on the new show or off. “I’m into a lot of stuff that maybe normal 37-year-olds don’t know about because of teenagers,” she says. “But then I am super into Disney because of our toddlers. I’m also a working woman and I own a business.” On The Kelly Clarkson Show, her goal will be to connect with her guests while letting her natural personality shine.

“I’m not going to try too hard to be anything. I feel like they gave me a show because they like me,” she says. “So I’m just going to lean into KC and hope it works out!”

[widevibratobitch]

Was tagged by @babinicz, thank you!!!!!!

Rules: POST 6 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF AND THEN PASS IT ON TO 10(+) OF YOUR FAVORITE FOLLOWERS

1) I am that kind of person that hiperfixates on things A LOT. Has always been. Sometimes I feel like my life is divided into chapters or eras by what I am currently hyperfixating on. It can be a little annoying since it often makes me completely unable to concentrate on real-life things though. And it is totally weird to me that most people I know don't really get those fixations, at least not as extremely as I do. (currently I'm in an Oscar Wilde phase, and I think I'm still doing a great job with not bombarding my mutuals with tons of Wilde-related content as much as I'd want to...)

2) When I laugh really hard, my knees kinda stop working and I collapse to the floor, even in the middle of a street. I just can't control it. It is a thing that I didn't appreciate for a long time until like a month ago. I had stopped experiencing it when i went to high school, and I had thought back then that well apparently my body finally learned how to control itself, nice. But some time ago I met with my friends from middle school (it was a music school, I find today that people there really were different), including my best friend, and it happened again and again. I realized then, that I just never really laugh that sincerely and never feel that comfortable and happy when I am with my "friends" from high school. Kinda sad but yeah, can't wait to meet them again and lose control over my legs again.

3) I used to love Maths in grade school. To the point when I once cried when I got a 4- (it's like a B- grade). In third class we got a new teacher and by the end of grade school I already hated Maths, but still got 5s (like, straight As). Then I went to middle school and I mostly survived on 3s, sometimes 2s (Cs, Ds). T h e n I went to high school and almost had to repeat the first year because of Maths (had to pass an exam in August), I struggle horribly to get that 40% at the end of the year, I am afraid that I won't pass the matura exam. I really used to love Maths, and if that's not the typical thing our educational system does to children...

4) During the day I can fall asleep always, everywhere. But once the time to go to sleep comes, I could lie in bed without moving for literal hours and still won't fall asleep. That's why I'm writing all this at 2 am, because my mother accidentally woke me up at midnight after I fell asleep in the evening, and now I just can't go back to sleep.

5) When I was 6, I wanted to be a nun and my biggest dream was to be a saint. Yeah, really. I guess that was the effect of my very religious grandparents and mother, and their constant brain-washing. I think I was about 12 or 13 when i finally learned to think for myself and refused to go to church with my mom - it was really hard for her, once or twice she literally dragged me to church by my hair, and every action of hers made me hate the church and religion even more. I still don't really like catholicism and honestly hate the christian God with all my heart, at least the way he is portrayed in the Old Testament. But I do think Jesus was a historical figure and a really cool dude. I love Jesus. I also know some religious people who are absolutely the best and I respect and will always fight for everyone's freedom to believe in whatever they want, as long as they leave the same freedom to me. Sometimes I really wish I could actually believe in something out-of-this-world, but I can't. I just can't.

6) I say A LOT of things ironically, but very often people don't get that, and it makes me look like an asshole. It happens way too often honestly. Thing is, that is just my sense of humor and I don't really control it or think too much of it. So I say a lot of racist or homophobic things in my Typical White Polish Man In A Patriotic Jumper Voice and people get mad and then I have to explain that I don't really mean that and it gets super awkward and yeah...

As before, I nominate basically the only people I talk to on this hellish website: @tornaloadir @acepolish @carlodivarga-s @simone-boccanegra @lessthansix @donnaimmaculata @amynion have fun or sth

[youremyonlyhope]

The Last Jedi

Here we go. The most controversial Star Wars movie ever (unless Rise of Skywalker has reviews that are just as mixed. I haven’t read any so I don’t know how it’s been received yet.) I actually really really enjoyed the Last Jedi, but I haven’t rewatched it since I saw it in theaters.

Also, unrelated, but literally just a few hours ago I met Oscar Isaac. I was doing a caroling event where I work, and he came by with his son to watch. During one of our breaks, he asked if his son could try the microphone and he held him up so he could whisper and sing stuff into the mic. It was adorable.

I seemed to be the only person who recognized who he was, though one of my co-workers said he had thought so too but he wasn’t sure until I confirmed it. So I went up to Oscar and said hi, asked if he was Oscar Isaac, shook his hand, and thanked him for coming. He says that it was great and that his son loves to sing.

I always joked that I’d bump into Oscar one day since he lives in Brooklyn, but I didn’t think it’d actually happen. And not while I’m wearing a Star Wars shirt and Star Wars socks (which he obviously couldn’t see since I was bundled up in a coat and a scarf and boots but whatever). And definitely not the day before I’m supposed to see the Rise of Skywalker.

I’m still freaking out oh my god. Ok. Time to rewatch the Last Jedi.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... This was the first Star Wars movie I’d seen in theaters in like 12 years at this point. Seeing those words on a giant screen again was amazing. “Certain that Jedi Master Luke Skywalker will return and restore a spark of hope to the fight.” I love that line. I love any and all comparisons of Luke to hope. Yes I am biased. But also, restoring the spark is exactly he does in the end so yes, I love it. It’s just now hitting me that we’re picking up exactly where we left off. Having 1 night between the two movies is every different than having 2 years. ...Was that whatsherface from Game of Thrones, Catelyn’s creepy sister? (IMDB says yes) *BB8 beeps* “Happy beats here buddy, come on.” BB8 sort of said the thing! Also, OH MY GOD I JUST MET OSCAR ISAAC AND NOW HERE HE IS ON MY SCREEN WHAT THE HELL. Was today even real? Oh General Hugs. “Skinny guy. Kinda pasty.” Knowing Oscar and Domnhall are friends makes this better. Oh BB8. Very honorable of Billie Lourd’s Lieutenant Connix to make sure she’s in the last ship leaving the base so everyone else leaves before her. I forgot about the chain reaction of bombs destroying their own Resistance ships... You know, Paige dying while dropping the last of the bombs was already emotional. Rewatching it after you know she’s Rose’s sister makes it worse. First Binary Sunset of the movie. General Hugs has a very good upset face that makes me not feel bad for him at all. More like I want to punch him. Snoke can use the Force across the galaxy... forgot about that. I realized I didn’t mention this in the last one, but I remember the crew complaining that when they filmed the end of Force Awakens it was a cloudy day, but then when they went back to the island for TLJ it was super sunny. And now that it’s been pointed out, I noticed it immediately. Luke throwing the lightsaber. I can’t remember if I was spoiled for this but I feel like when I watched it, I wasn’t that thrown off by it. Something else I didn’t mention at the end of Force Awakens is that I LOVE this set. The stone houses are amazing. Oh porgs. Also, that porg looking into the lightsaber always gives me anxiety. The first words we hear Luke say in 40 years are an annoyed “Go away.” which at least is less whiney than the Tosche Station. Oh Chewie’s like “DUDE. WE NEED YOU.” “Wait... where’s Han?” Awww. Throwing in a little Vader’s theme in there. More temper tantrums. People getting mad at Luke calling a lightsaber a laser sword (in a purposefully mocking way) even though George Lucas himself called them that in some interviews. Yes, it’s not a laser sword, but Luke is trying to show how ridiculous he thinks the idea of him taking down everything is by calling a lightsaber that. I remember being like “Luke... no let’s not just milk that thing... oh ew” I do love the shot of Luke using the giant stick to cross to the other cliff and kill the fish. God that’s a steep hill. “No one’s from nowhere.” “Jakku.” “Alright that is pretty much nowhere.” That’s funny. “It’s time for the Jedi to end.” Remember when that line in the trailer made the fandom literally break down? I love knowing that behind the scenes, Carrie had to slap Oscar a billion times. Also, I do not blame Leia at all. So many people were mad about Leia and Holdo demoting Poe, but Poe was too fearless in that moment. Yes, he destroyed the ship and it worked out, but they lost so many people and they already didn’t have many to begin with. It was worth it, but at a very high cost. So I don’t blame her. Heyyyyyy it’s that girl from that Black Mirror episode and what was that other show? Chewing Gum or something? (IMDB says yes it’s Michaela Coel) See and Poe’s already learning a little by asking permission. Of course... later on he doesn’t ask permission... but whatever. Leia’s Theme... causing me pain. Oh, Kylo didn’t kill his mom. We’re supposed to be happy about that? The bar is on the ground. The utter horror I felt the first time the control room was destroyed and Leia was pulled into space. Oh I love the moment when Leia flies in. Because I’d heard that in the books and comics, we get to explore Leia’s Force abilities and stuff but we don’t get it in the movies besides “I feel that Luke’s in trouble.” Which sucks, because she is the “other” if Luke didn’t work out, so she’s just as strong as Luke if she got trained. They should have just trained both kids honestly, why did they pick the boy? Not saying Obi-Wan and Yoda are sexist... but they’re probably sexist. Also, foreshadowing. I actually noticed the hologram of the ship and Leia flying through this time. Oh Chewie. I like the porg that literally has his jaw dropped in horror. Knowing now that the dice were kind of a symbol of Kira (was that Emilia Clarke’s character?) and Han’s relationship makes me not like them as much. Still, cute throwback that they’re still on the Falcon. We can just ignore they weren’t there in Force Awakens (I kept an eye out and didn’t see them) The way Luke laughed when he said “R2!” I just... my heart. “Nothing can make me change my mind” *R2 plays the Leia hologram* I literally just went “AWWWW” out loud because I forgot that that’s why R2 started playing it. Oh my heart. That hurt the first time. Luke standing over Rey, but offering to help her. Parallels. Oh Admiral Ackbar. I love Holdo’s dress. I love the draping. Someone teach me how to make it. “Thank you for making me aware.” Yeah Poe, she already knows. Stop mansplaining. This is literally a case of mansplaining, why would Poe think he’d have to explain to a commander that there’s no fuel? Yeah it’s a little harsh, but is Holdo wrong? All of these fanboys complain about Canto Bight, but forget that it was Poe’s idea. Then they go and say Holdo was too mean should have put Poe in charge. Guys. Poe’s impulsive. We love him, but he’s the ultimate Gryffindor with no fear and will just do anything without considering consequences. I do wish Holdo had been more open like “I have a plan. You don’t need to know all the parts of it. Just let me do what I need to, ok?” instead of “Just follow my orders.” but still. Oh poor Rose. “Doing talking....” Oh she’s so cute. “I’ve had to stun 3 people trying to use this escape pod.” We love a girl who can fight. Yeah. Once again. Not mad at Rose. Finn does have some selfish tendencies, he’s well meaning but ultimately selfish (or at least, only thinking of Rey). So I do not blame Rose for stunning him.

And now I will take a nap since I have to go to a show tonight. And then I will finish the last 3/4-ish of the movie when I get home later.

Annnnd I’m back!

See. Rose has good reason to be mad at deserters. Ok so it wasn’t Poe’s idea to go to the Star Destroyer it was Finn’s. I will give him that. But still Poe went along with it. “That... wasn’t exactly my...” Oh 3PO. I wish Maz had had a bigger scene. More Lupita please. I have one question: from what angle is this hologram filmed? And how does the camera follow her? I guess it’s multiple hologram cameras, but still, it followed her as she rolled and ran around. Also, did Finn call Maz or did Poe call her? Because as far as we know, only Finn knows her. It seemed like they both had the idea to call her, but that Poe had it first. Did Finn tell Poe about Maz? I’m glad they showed Finn handing Poe the binary tracker thing, since for a second I was like “What if Rey had popped up next to Finn on the Star Destroyer?” I’m glad Rey’s first instinct is to shoot Kylo. “Can you see my surroundings?” “You’re gonna pay for what you did.” “I can’t see yours.” Why do I remember that line so vividly? Why does it make me feel so unsettled? Rey, my sweet Rey, I wish you had just told Luke that you saw Kylo. I love Luke’s explanation of the Force. And him messing with Rey was funny. I love when Rey’s reaching out and feeling life, death, peace, violence, etc. And I love Luke saying the Force doesn’t belong to the Jedi, because it doesn’t. The Jedi failed years ago. “You didn’t even try to stop yourself.” Luke’s horrified. But also, Rey’s just like an extreme version of Luke. Yoda knew that Luke’s emotions could make him vulnerable to the dark side, Rey’s already vulnerable. Yeah, I don’t blame Luke for being scared of Rey after he feels like this is Ben all over again. Oh my god. I love the porg that has a metal piece over its head. That actually made me laugh out loud. Poor Chewie.

I just had to refresh tumblr because my draft wasn’t saving. It brought me back to my dashboard. Where there was a spoiler for the new movie and it wasn’t tagged. PLEASE tag your spoilers people.

The water hitting Kylo still confuses me. Say what you will about the Canto Bight plot... the costumes are AMAZING. The costumes literally make the whole side plot worth it to me. Literally I was just in awe by all the costumes during every single scene. And the set! The set’s fantastic too! I literally just paused every single second to take in all of the costumes. Do I care if the Canto Bight trip ended up pointless? Nope! Because it gave me some of Star Wars’ best costumes. Oh... to be an extra in the Canto Bight scene... Just show up... And put on a beautiful outfit... And do nothing else but pretend to drink, talk, and gamble... That’s the dream. Oh hi Mark Hamill! That was cute that they let him voice that little thing. I remember noticing the thing and being like “...is he important?” and nope, it’s just Mark doing an extra voice. Oh I love the Fathiers. Aww and it’s the little Force sensitive boy. I have thoughts about that kid that I can get into later. The way BB8 jingles with the coins. I love it.

Rey: *Does a move with her stick* Rey: *Does the same exact move with the lightsaber* Fanboys: She’s too good too fast! Mary Sue!

As I said throughout all of the Force Awakens, she’s just applying the skills she already had. If anything, a lightsaber’s easier since it’s half the length and she doesn’t have to worry about the back of it hitting her. LOL, remember when we thought this shot was an epic shot of Luke training her? Good times. Oh that poor fish nun. Everything Luke says about the Jedi is true (also did I not say they failed earlier in the post? Luke agrees with me). Rey’s right that a Jedi got Ani to come back from the dark side, but the Jedi’s system enabled him to turn in the first place. Soooooo yeah. Oh Luke. Don’t blame yourself. Kylo was already basically gone. Sure, seeing his uncle standing over him with a lightsaber definitely didn’t help... but it’s not the only thing that made him turn. Who is this captain of the medical ship? He looks familiar. (IMDB says he’s Danny Sapani. I probably recognized him from the Crown) Oh BB8. Finn, did you learn nothing from Rey? Put the cover back on the vent! Awww the Fathiers have such sad eyes... I love the Resistance ring. Can I buy one? Ok. The shot of the bubble egg lady singing felt like it was much longer the first time, but it’s really only a split second. I. LOVE. THE. CANTO. BIGHT. SET. I know it’s a real town in like Italy or somewhere near the Mediterranean. I want to go. I love it. I love that the first thing Luke does when he decides to use the Force again is to seek out Leia. Oh poor Adam became a meme after this. He just has a very wide and bulky body, ok? God Luke looks so scary in Kylo’s flashback. “Let the past die. Kill it if you have to.” That reflection scene is so visually stunning. So in a way, it’s like Luke is failing Rey like he failed Ben. He’s not helping her in the way she needs, so she’s being lured by the dark side instead. I love the walls falling around Luke. “Did you do it? Did you create Kylo Ren?” Rey, he already told you earlier that he believes it’s his fault, so the answer from him is yes. I can’t remember if we hear this story of Luke and Kylo one more time after this or not. “Then he’s our last hope.” Ok ew. No. Kylo is not allowed to be compared to hope. Only Luke, Leia, or Obi-Wan can be. Oh for a second I thought that torch was a lightsaber. YODA!!!!! I think I had been spoiled for Yoda showing up. It was definitely still exciting though. “The sacred Jedi texts!” Oh Luke. Oh memes. Not as whiney as I remembered. “But that library contained nothing that the girl Rey does not already possess.” Because Yoda knows she stole the books. Oh Yoda. I love Yoda. Oh Rose. Ok, so I will give it to Poe that at this moment it doesn’t seem like Holdo has a good plan. Abandoning ship isn’t necessarily cowardly, but on the surface it does seem like it puts them in more danger. Literally earlier today I watched a video about the layout of the Millennium Falcon, and the escape pods were mentioned. And I thought to myself, wow that must be something from the novels since we’ve definitely never seen that in the movies. Welp... I was wrong... Rey’s in one now. I was about to be like “Do they not care that an escape pod just docked?” before I saw Kylo. LOL the iron coming down like a ship. I feel like I remember being completely terrified when Rey stepped in front of Snoke. Oh BB8. Bumping into stuff. I remember being super relieved that DJ (has he told us this is his name yet? I can’t remember) gave back the medallion. Captain Phasma! Hey girl hey! Leia shooting Poe is still funny to me. Also Lieutenant Billie Connix is smart.  I love the scene of Holdo and Leia saying goodbye. Also, Holdo’s purple hair with her bright blue eyes is super striking. Good choice. Snoke puts down the lightsaber. Unknowingly sealing his fate. Literally when Snoke reveals he connected their minds, I was like OF COURSE. Because the whole time I’m like neither of them are strong enough to do this. “She was more interested in protecting the light than she was seeming like a hero.” See. And that’s the flaw in both Poe and Finn. And Rey to an extent. They’re thinking about the big picture, but in context of smaller things like seeming like a hero, saving Rey, saving Kylo, etc. But Holdo’s thinking of only the big picture. I knew DJ betrayed them, I just forgot how badly.

And here’s another annoyance (which I was sorta trying to touch on earlier). Everyone hates the Canto Bight plot, yet they complain about Holdo trying to take charge. If Poe just let Holdo take charge and ignored Finn and Rose’s idea, then her plan would have been a complete success. No Canto Bight, no DJ to betray them, all the transports make it to Crait unnoticed, and the First Order eventually destroys a ship that’s empty except for Holdo. They complain about Holdo, but don’t think about the fact that Holdo could have prevented another plot they hated if the main characters had just listened to her.

And then Snoke hits Rey and literally puts the lightsaber back to where it will kill him. Ok literally I just misread a caption that said “Lord Vader” as “Lord Voldemort” and I was very confused. Taking a second to say that I love this set of Snoke’s throne room. Been thinking it forever, but Kylo picking up the lightsaber off the ground and seeing the reflection in the smooth red floor is amazing. Kylo igniting the lightsaber through Snoke is amazing. Also, I typed “Ben igniting” before literally freezing for a second and being like “...ok that’s a lot to unpack” I guess when he does something good my brain thinks of him as Ben instead of Kylo. ALSO, arm #16 and #17, I love that Snoke’s arms were cut off too in true Star Wars fashion. And I am VERY excited to see this fight scene again. I told myself not to pause at all during the Kylo and Rey team up fight, but I paused literally a second into it because Binary Sunset yes.

And my idiot brother and my mom are texting in the family group chat so it’s popping up on my screen throughout this scene. Ugh.

All of these red knight weapons are so cool. And I forgot about the one that gets chopped up... Oh my god one is a sword that transforms into a whip. LOVE. IT. And I love the quick lightsaber ignite through the head. Love it. Woah how is there still 44 minutes? I remember this battle being much closer to the end. I was wondering when the red walls went away, but I rewinded and saw that they had been slowly burning away after Rey made something hit them. Nice touch.

Ugh my brother and mom will not stop texting.

“You have no place in this story.” Wow Kylo, harsh. Oh shoot I forgot about the lightsaber breaking until they started their Force tug of war with it. I’d always wondered what would happen if someone lightsped through something... I want to say that I realized what she was doing before they told us, but now I realize that they basically told us what she would do when the First Order guy said “they’re preparing to hyperspeed.” so I guess I just caught on to the obvious hints.

God that moment still gives me chills. The silence. The way it sort of goes black and white. The multiple angles. So good.

I know for a fact that I spent the rest of the movie from this point on with my hands over my mouth in a constant stake of shock/fear/anxiety. Oh BB8. Some people thought this was ridiculous. But I had just spent the last few months rewatching the prequels before seeing this, and compared to the stuff R2 does, BB8 clumsily controlling a walker is nothing. Oh how I love Gwendoline Christie. I FORGOT THAT WE SAW HER EYE IN THE MASK. I hope Phasma survived. She’s so awesome. Ok my quality is like horrendous right now so I’m gonna refresh. LOL I FORGOT ABOUT GENERAL HUGS NEARLY ATTEMPTING TO KILL KYLO. Oh I forgot how much I love Crait as a set location. OH AND THE ICE DOG THINGS! LOVE THEM! Poe petting BB8 when he comes back kills me. I like those space age two person laptops. “People believe in Leia.” *Binary Sunset plays* My heart. Ok for a second I was like “This first person camera is like a war movie” and then it turns and we see the trench and I’m like “...ok... ok fine but that was very literal.” The red footsteps. Just... guys this set is so AMAZING. Ugh, these red streaks of dust behind them are so amazing. And when Finn passes in front of the camera, it gets covered in the dust and blurs part of the lens. Just like the Rathtar goo in the Force Awakens. I wonder if that’s going to be like... the thing of the sequels. One shot that has the camera lens partially covered by something. Also, I just wasted time trying to figure out if there’s an official name for that or not... oh well. The winding stripes left behind as they weave around... just... amazing. YEAH! GO CHEWIE! GO REY! Oh my god I forgot about the porg roaring. “Oh, they HATE that ship!” I’M DEAD. Look at the salt and how it forms the crystals in the trench. I love it. I FORGOT ABOUT THIS SHOT OF THE CAVE FULL OF THE RED SALT. I LOVE THIS SO MUCH. I remember when the trailer had the first shot of the gorilla walkers, and I didn’t notice at first that there were normal AT-ATs next to them, and then I realized these things were twice as big as AT-ATs and I was horrified. See, and now Poe has learned that you can’t always be a hero and is making a good decision. I forgot about Finn’s speeder literally melting as he gets closer. I don’t understand the people who were mad that Rose stopped Finn. I for one was HORRIFIED at just the thought of Finn dying this way and thankful she stopped him. “That’s how we’re gonna win. Not fighting what we hate, saving what we love.” The kiss is pointless but I love the line and sentiment behind it. Oh god. Ok. Here come the emotions. Binary Sunset is playing. I was a wreck. And a little of Han and Leia’s Love Theme as she sees the dice. I remember actually noticing that in the theaters and half-sobbing. Oh god the forehead kiss. Oh and he winks at 3PO as he walks by. My heart. This is the specific shot of the gorilla walkers and the AT-ATs in a line that freaked me out. That shot of Luke standing up against all the First Order walkers and ships. Amazing. That shoulder brush though. Kylo’s so dumb, he literally just watched that lightsaber get destroyed, he HELPED destroy it. He should have known something was up, it couldn’t have been repaired that quickly. Purposeful shot of Luke’s feet not moving the salt. That Matrix back bend though. “I will have killed the last Jedi.” He said the title. Also, is that the only time it’s said? Because they say it a lot in Force Awakens but I don’t think so yet in this movie.. “And I will not be the last Jedi.” Ok so now it’s said again by Luke. Purposeful shot of Kylo’s shoe leaving a footprint as he runs to Luke. I’m pretty sure I probably shrieked when he tried to slice Luke in half.

I just now remembered that I’d actually kind of wondered if he’d be a Force projection or something when he first showed up. Because I’d just watched Return of the Jedi like a week earlier and saw Obi-Wan do it, so I wondered if Luke was doing it too. Especially when Poe said Luke was distracting the First Order. It passed my mind and was confirmed when Kylo couldn’t hit him. And here’s where I started to feel like my world was crumbling...

Oh god. My eyes are wet. It hurts. But when I watched it the first time, I really felt like my world was absolutely falling a part and ending forever while I watched Luke die. With the stupid binary sunset in front of him just like when he was a teenager and when he was a baby. One of the first things he ever saw was the binary sunset. I was like “This is beautiful, but that doesn’t mean I’m not completely in pain and dying.” That shot from above of Kylo with the stormtroopers, mirroring a shot from the prequels of Ani. Nice. So do they still have that connection even if Snoke’s dead?

HEY! Hey. Those dice were still visible to Kylo even after Luke was dead... was Leia Force projecting them to Kylo? It wouldn’t take as much work as doing it to everyone else at once from lightyears away. One person, your son, would be easier. So maybe... maybe Leia’s the one continuing the projection of the dice. I’m gonna stick with that theory thanks.

Awww BB8 asked Rey about his antenna, just like when they first met. Remember when people were like “Are Poe and Rey gonna be a thing?!?!?” and of course I’d much prefer that over Reylo thanks. The books! Somehow, that obvious shot of the books goes over so many people’s heads. So many complaints about the books getting burned, when they literally show us that Rey saved them. I had never noticed the bunks in the Millennium Falcon either until I saw that video earlier, and I’m glad I got to actually see one in use since Rose is sleeping in one.

Oh GOD the entirety of the Resistance can fit on the Millennium Falcon... that is NOT good.

I LOVE the scene of the kids retelling the story of Luke. I must have already gone in depth about this 2 years ago, but I love it. Luke became a legend in the end. He didn’t necessarily want to be one, but he’s become one. It was exactly what was in the opening scroll, he restored the spark of hope. That subtle use of the Force by that little boy. With Binary Sunset playing. And I love that last shot of him holding the broom up like a lightsaber.

I nearly forgot that they put in “In loving memory of our princess, Carrie Fisher” at the end. That’s what got me to finally cry. 40 straight minutes of covering my mouth in anxiety, then feeling like my world was crashing down around me as Luke died. Having it dedicated to Carrie made me just start sobbing so hard. Watch that happen again tomorrow.

I remember when I left the theater, at first I was like “What if the boys is Rey’s brother?!” but then... I realized that a huge point of the movie went over my head for a second there.

The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey’s parents are, whether it’s Obi-Wan or Luke or Leia or even Palpatine, that they were mad when Kylo said they were no one. But like... guys... not every single Force user is related to the Skywalkers or anyone else we already know. There were hundreds of Jedi in the prequels, because anyone can be Force sensitive. Obi-Wan’s parents were nobody, Qui-Gon’s parents were nobody, Mace’s parents were nobody. They didn’t come from long lines of Force users (at least in movie lore), BECAUSE THE JEDI WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO HAVE KIDS. The Skywalkers aren’t even a long line, it’s just 3 generations at this point. So literally none of the Jedi of the past came from powerful Force users (or at least from ones who got the chance to become Jedi) since that literally goes against the code.

Luke found at least 11 other Force sensitive kids to train alongside Ben, their parents were all definitely nobodies since he’s the last Jedi. Ben is an anomaly, Luke and Leia are anomalies, the Jedi don’t have kids! The fandom got so caught up in figuring out who Rey could be related to, that they forgot that for millennia the individual Jedi were not related to anyone.

Anyone can be Force sensitive. Anyone can be a Jedi. Rey is an example of that. That little boy is an example of that. That’s why I love that the little Force sensitive boy was the final shot of the movie. He was meant to reassure and remind us after the Rey parentage reveal that anyone can end up Force sensitive. They don’t need a famous/powerful parent. They can come from anywhere and be anyone. And I love that that’s the final note of this movie.

Some people were not reassured. Some people couldn’t handle the idea that Rey’s powerful just because she’s Rey, not because she’s someone’s daughter. She HAS to be related to someone to be that powerful, right? But every Jedi before her who was just as powerful wasn’t related to anyone, so why does she have to be?

ANYWAY! I was actually worried over the last 2 years that I’d rewatch The Last Jedi and not like it as much as I did in theaters. I still like it a lot. Even the Canto Bight scenes get redeemed by the costumes and the set being so amazing. But I love the message of don’t be a hero, this is bigger than just you. And I love the message that even if you’re “nobody” from “nowhere” you could still be Force Sensitive and you could still be a Jedi. I love Luke’s send off, I love that he does end up reigniting the spark and being a beam of hope again. I love it.

And I’m excited to see the Rise of Skywalker tomorrow.

[punjabaex]

Apologies: Klaus x Reader

request from anon// Klaus cheating on reader with Caroline

warnings// minor language, reader feels unworthy, but fluff and angsttt! also, my first Klaus one-shot, so I'm sorry if this isn't great!

You were siting on the bed in your hotel room, staring at the dark walls. Your phone had been going off for a quite a while now. You immediately turned it off with aggressiveness. You’re quiet sobs now filled the emptiness in the room. You tried to reprocess everything that had happened in the past few hours of your life. And the reason for it all; Klaus Mikaelson. Where the name would give some shudders, to you, it gave butterflies. Klaus was this unexplainable, complex, intricate being. Everybody thought of him as this self-centered, murderous ego-maniac, but nobody knew him like you did. He was this kind, caring, and loving person, and you loved your hybrid with every piece of your heart. You had been the happiest with him, here in New Orleans. The Mikaelsons were like family to you. You were treated like a Queen by everybody, but you never took that position. You were far too self-less, compassionate, kind, and loving. And that was the exact reason Klaus loved you. You put everyones happiness ahead of yours, never put yourself above anyone, and did whatever you could to make sure that people around you were untroubled. He also loved how cheery you were. Always smiling, incredibly intelligent, being awkward, and not caring of what other cared of you. You never let your sadness be shown to the world. That was just not the light you wanted to offer people. You bottled up your feelings, and you were so good at it, faking your pain, you could’ve won an Oscar. For the past few months, you had been breaking apart. Klaus Mikaelson had broken your heart, piece by piece.. You found your boyfriend of 3 years, on top of Caroline Forbes. Although you were trying to convince yourself that Klaus couldn’t have done this, you truly knew he did. A FEW HOURS AGO: You walked in to the Mikaelsons home after shopping with Rebekah, also one of your best friends,  for what seemed like hours. Rebekah had decided that she wanted to go visit Marcel, so here you were lugging in tons and tons of clothes, accessories, and other foolishness that either one of you didn’t need. You knew that today, every Mikaelsson, except Klaus, wouldn’t be home today. Elijah with Hayley, Freya and Kol, out and about, so you had the mansion to just Klaus and yourself, and you were very excited. You both did not get a lot of time alone, so whatever you had, you really did cherish. You put down the bags on the sofa, and quietly walked up the stairs to the room you and Klaus shared, ready to change out of you maxi-dress, and into some sweatpants and a tank. You could’ve sworn you heard a girl in the room with Klaus. You tried to use your vampire hearing to hear, but nothing was clear enough. You walked closer to the door, you could’ve sworn that anyone from miles away could’ve heard your heartbeat. As you peered in through the door, that was opened the slightest, tears welled up in your eyes. Klaus and Caroline were in a intimate moment. You choked on your breath, and began to walk away, ready to sprint down the stairs. But Klaus had heard you. He chased after you down the stairs, trying to slip on his clothes. 
He was yelling your name. “Y/n! Love, come back, please, I am so sorry, just let me explain��. But your thoughts filled up your mind, blocking out his words. Tears were freely flowing down your face. Klaus grabbed on to your wrist, apologizing over and over again, and all you could do was stare at him. You were utterly shocked by his actions. And then it washed over you. “Let me go, Klaus. Don’t fucking touch me” you screamed, within sobs. He let go of your wrist just standing and staring now. He knew he was wrong, that he had made a mistake, that he had just lost the woman of his dreams. He had let Carolines and his old love come in the way of the woman he was going to ask to be his for the rest of his life. You walked out of the doors, you tears covering your vision straight into Kol’s arms. “What is it, darling” he asked with worry. You just buried you head further in to his chest. Crying so loudly now. “Just stay, Kol. Please, just stay”. “Don’t worry love, I got you, its going to be alright” he said as he rested his head on yours, hugging you tight. “I just want to go away, far, far, away. I need to go, now” you said, wiping your tears after a couple of minutes. “Y/n, please tell me whats up so I can help you. You do not need to go anywhere, I’m here with you”. “Klaus, he...cheated on me” your eyes welling up with tears again. You’re not gonna cry you told yourself, nope, not for him. Kol just stared at you, and engulfed you in his arms, saying kind words. “Ill come back” you said, “ I just need some time alone to rethink” “Let me come with you, y/n” “Thanks Kol, but I just need time alone, just me and my thought”. He hugged you one last time, and you left. Now here you were. In a hotel not to far away. You knew about Caroline. How much Klaus had loved her, and how much heart break he had been through when he wasn’t able to attain her love. You saw her, here and there, when you and Klaus took a little trip to visit the Salvatore brothers in Mystic Falls. The way Klaus looked at her, you knew that love was clearly existent between the two. Everybody talked about it, too. Klaus and Caroline. The tale of the two love birds. Some saying how she was dumb not to pursue him after how much he changed as a person after being around her, and other saying that she was intelligent for not going after the man. Whenever her name came up, you sulked a little on the inside. You had convinced yourself that she was far more gorgeous than you, and Klaus had every right to like her more than he liked you. But then, when Klaus had confessed his true love for you, you forgot all about her. And yet, here she was, with your boyfriend, proving yet again that Klaus would never feel the same of you, as he did of her. And that was the one thing that made you feel like utterly and completely useless. Minutes and hours passed by, and you feel asleep. Until you were woken up by someone gently pushing your hair back, you were ready to spring up and tear the person apart, but you knew the familarity of this person. Of their soft hands, and the scent of bourbon and leather. It was Klaus. And he was crying. He saw you slowly sit up, your red,tear streaked face. You looked away from him making sure not to make eye contact. “How’d you even find me” “The GPS on you phone, love” Klaus said.  That damned phone, you thought to yourself Before you could even open your mouth to tell him to leave, he started to talk. “Y/n, I understand if you do not forgive me. I am truly unworthy of your love, undeserving of you. What I have done today, Ive never felt more bad about myself. I never wanted to hurt you, ever. That was one thing I told myself I never would’ve done. Caroline, and I, that was just the heat of the moment. I did not know what went over me. I didn’t mean to do it. The last thing I have ever wanted is to lose you, and when you walked out of that door, I’ve never felt a greater emptiness in my life. I have never valued your affection, warmth, and spirit more. I know that I am wrong, and trust me, I do loathe myself for it. For the man I am. In the past centuries, Ive been alone and broke, but when I was blessed with you, you healed all the sorrow in my life. I am beyond fortunate for you. I feel like the luckiest man for having you as my girlfriend, my lover, my support, and my happiness. And I know, I put a big tear in our relationship today, but I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you, to convince you that I am worthy of your love. Forgive me, darling” And a single tear fell down his face. You wiped away the tear, and pulled him into a kiss. One that meant, forgiveness, love, and new opportunities. “Klaus, what happened today, broke me in a way that I never thought it would have. You made me feel as if I was unworthy of loving, and that I was never good enough. Ive tried, tried so hard to not let the way Aurora, Camille, or Caroline looked at you. The fact that they were far more better for you, than me”. “Don’t say that. I have never loved anyone more than you. No one is as amazing as you, y/n, and it astonishes me that you don’t realize that. Your everything I’ve wanted to be, and more. And the fact that i wake up next you every morning, and that I get to call you mine, is unbelievable to this day.  I promise you, with the enitirety of my heart, that I will never hurt you, ever again. I love you y/n,  I love you so much”. “ I love you too Klaus, and I forgive you, but do that again, and I will surely put that White Oak stake through your heart, and drop your body at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean”. You both laughed at this, and you fell asleep in Klaus arms, till morning came.

a/n: sorry to the anon who requested, I literally procrastinated this until today, and sat and wrote in 2 hours, so sorry for any mistakes! I’m just trying to improve my writing more and more, so I'm very very sorry if this isn't great (or any of my writing isn't great lol). thanks for the support, and feel free to send something in my inbox, whether it be positive criticism, requests, or if ya just wanna talk! we are so close to 100 followers, so THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THE SUPPORT. Writing and reading here on Tumblr is something I enjoy doing. Not only is it a great de-stresser, but I get to see such talented and great human beings from all over the world :))))))) 

tags: @tanjamikaelson

[irebelcaptain]

Slowly (Poe x Female Reader, Part 1 of 2)

Title: Slowly (Part 1 of 2) Length: 2.2K Rating: T Summary: Song fic based on “Despacito.” You make Poe jealous. Poe has fantasies about you while flying back from mission. Next part will be M rated. A/N: Not gonna lie, I really enjoyed writing this one. Wrote this because someone asked me what the lyrics to “Despacito” mean and it cracked me up how naughty they are. @charliexowrite Part 2 hopefully taps more into your field of expertise. ;) As always, thanks to @fandom-writes​ @warqueenfuriosa​ @mell-bell​ for your writing inspiration and @uomo-accattivante​ for daily Oscar inspiration. And @poe-from-yavin for hopefully reblogging it!

Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote / Yes, you know I’ve been looking at you for a while Tengo que bailar contigo hoy / I have to dance with you today

It was rare these days to have a celebration in the Resistance. Even with Starkiller Base destroyed, everyone was on edge. What would come next? Who would come next? But tonight, these worries disappeared after the return of Blue and Red Squadrons after a successful mission. One of the mechanics had set his workstation up to become a makeshift cantina. Serving booze collected from all the fighters on base, and music set up.

Everyone was smiling, and you took note of the positive energy as you stepped into the room. You closed your eyes and drunk it in. It was such a rare occurrence, you didn’t want the night to end. Scanning the room for Poe, you wondered if he’d be coming. You both have been flirting with each other recently. A highly-praised mechanic, Poe often sought you out to fix Black One, his baby. Sometimes you caught him watching you while bent over his X-wing with one corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. Then there’d be the times you both would walk to grab food together, and he’d sling his arm around your shoulder, and pull you in closer.

Where is Poe? You walk around the room searching him out, but he’s nowhere to be found. Maybe he’s already stopped by and you missed him? Instead you turn your attention to another attractive pilot sitting on some crates and decide to celebrate with someone. You join in a group of pilots and mechanics already formed, listening to the tales of danger and adventure. Someone hands you a cup of who knows what, but something strong and definitely not something you have tasted before. You begin to relax a bit.

A half an hour later, you spot Poe walking into the workroom. A few fighters come to greet Poe, but he’s not paying attention. Instead, he’s searching the room until his eyes stop at you and he grins. He takes a seat across the room with the fighters, but keeps watching you. Clearly, his pilots are offering him celebratory drinks and cheers, begging for a the whole story of his mission, but his attention is on you.

Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome / I saw that your look was already calling me Muéstrame el camino que yo voy / Show me the way and I’ll go

Without thinking, you decide to make tonight a fun game. Poe could get any guy or girl in this place, but you figured it’d be more interesting to see what would happen if you made him a little jealous–work a little for your attention, if you will. You take a sip of your drink to cover a blush that creeps up your face thinking of what you want to do to Poe, when suddenly the pilot you had been flirting with places a hand on your hip and whispers something in your ear. It doesn’t matter what the pilot said, you’re here to make Poe jealous. (Maybe then he’ll do something about this back and forth going on between the two of you.) Glancing at Poe and seeing he was watching you, you tilted your head back and laugh as the pilot grins into the side of your neck.

/ Poe’s Perspective /

Poe enters into the room and his heart races faster seeing that you’re there, but then he feels a punch in the gut when he sees you flirting with someone else. Was he crazy for thinking there was a spark between you two? He sees you cock an eyebrow.

No, Poe, she’s yours. Poe smiles and runs a hand through his curls and sighs in relief. As someone hands him a drink, he joins the group, but focuses on your interaction with the pilot. It’s clear you’re more interested in Poe.

Sólo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso / Just thinking about it accelerates my pulse Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal / I’m already enjoying it more than normal

Poe notices you’re wearing your usual outfit from work, but with the lights dim the skin of your arms and neck is radiant against the dark tank top. He loves the way you look every day. Your hair messy, pants smeared with grease, and hands grimy from working. There’s nothing sexier than you concentrating on your work. He noticed that when there’s a particularly difficult fix, you’ll bite your bottom lip, and furrow your brow. You’ll cuss under your breath. He can’t help but appreciate the build of your body, how your arms are toned, and tonight is extra special. He gets to watch your hips sway to the music. And every glance you send him drives him crazy.

Poe sees a hand go to your waist and you laugh. Your body relaxes into the whisper and Poe’s eyes go wide. Maybe she isn’t into you, Poe. He tears his eyes away from the scene and moves to stand with his back to you. He engages with someone else at the party trying to get his mind off of you, but all he can think about now is putting his hands on your hips, whispering how incredible you look right now. How he wants to place firm, open kisses along your neck. Hear you sigh as you lean into his body.

Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más / All of my senses are asking for more Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro / This has to be done without a hurry

/ Reader’s Perspective /

You see that Poe is looking a bit dejected from across the room. Positioning himself so that most of his back is to you, you realized you pushed too much. This part of the game is over. You fake a yawn and thank the group for a fun evening, handing your near-empty cup to the pilot next to you. Clearly confused, the pilot asks if you want to go and talk somewhere privately, but you refuse, offering up an excuse.

Walking across the room, Poe hasn’t noticed you approach. You take your left hand and slide it from his left shoulder to his right. Looking over his shoulder, he’s confused at first, but then a smug grin emerges. You notice his breathing becomes more irregular.

“Having fun, Poe?” You press your chin against his strong shoulder, taking in the smell of his jacket.

Poe chuckles. “Not as much fun as you’re having with the pilot over there, [Y/N].”

You smile knowingly then shape your mouth into a pout, sticking out your bottom lip. Poe quickly licks his lips. “What, a girl can’t have a little fun? I’m heading off to bed, anyways. See you in the morning?”

As Poe is about to persuade you to grab a drink together, you press a kiss against his cheek. Putting your soft lips against his ear, you sigh, “Good night, Poe.” His breathing stops completely. Pulling away you give Poe a wink, spin on your heel and head out the door.

That was two weeks ago.

Knowing Poe would have followed you anywhere, even back to your quarters, you decide to play things out a little more. It’s nice to see someone who usually has so much composure and control be unable to not stare. Or keep breathing.

You had to plan and take things to the next level once Poe makes it back from his mission. He had left a couple of days after that night, and now you had time to figure out next steps.

/ Poe’s Perspective /

She won’t get out of my head. He’s flying back from the mission and finds himself distracted, once again, by you. He shakes his head, trying to rid his thoughts in the movement. The way you have him in the palm of your hand, can twist and turn him at every moment. He wants more of you. Poe is addicted to you.

Being on dangerous missions like the one he’s now flying back from always reminds Poe to take advantage of what he has every day. He has you. He knows he has you. As he jumps to lightspeed, Poe lets his mind to wander back to you. After all, he has nearly 3 hours before getting back to base.

Despacito / Slowly Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito / I want to breathe your neck slowly Deja que te diga cosas al oído / Let me whisper things in your ear Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo / That you’ll remember when you’re not with me

His mind quickly replays the night at the pop-up cantina, but changes the ending. Instead of you leaving, Poe turns around and grabs your arm. Your head snaps back and you smile. “Care to dance?” he asks as you.

Replying wordlessly, you move closer to him and he takes you to the group dancing in the middle of the room. He looks up and down your body, noting the top of your breasts from your low cut top and hourglass figure. Licking his lips unconsciously, his eyes make their way back up to yours and he meets your lustful look.

“Were you jealous?” you inquire with a smirk on your lips.

Poe reacts only as Poe would, “You wish, princess.” His eyes lie. You see him glance over to the pilot, who’s staring at the two of you.

“I’m not so sure.” You note his glance and laugh deeply.

He moves his lips closer to your ear, inhaling you. The sudden rush of air causes you to shiver briefly. Bringing his hands low on your hips, he pulls you closer to his body and you gasp at the closeness.

“Fine,” he admits. “You got me. I couldn’t stand how you flirted with someone that wasn’t me. I couldn’t stop watching you. And I could only think about what I wanted to do to you.”

Despacito / Slowly Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito / I want to undress you with kisses slowly Firmar en las paredes de tu laberinto / Sign the walls of your labyrinth Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito / And turn your body into a manuscript

The song changes and the beat is slow and rhythmic. Moving your hips slower, you begin to slowly grind into Poe. Following your lead, his hands grip your hips stronger to stay with the movement. You snake your hands around his neck and revel in this moment. This moment is so intimate and everyone can see. And you love it. The way you move with him, and the way you can make Poe come undone. The way you can feel his breathing along your neck, causing goosebumps to appear. You close your eyes and wonder if it’ll last forever.

The noises of BB-8 break through Poe’s fog and suddenly he’s back to reality. Mildly embarrassed, and glad he’s alone, he asks BB-8 to repeat the message. BB-8 is updating him on their location.

What will I do once I get back to base? What if she’s waiting for me? Part of him is terrified to see you after playing all this out in his head. He hopes you want what he wants. He bets you do. Why else would that night have played out the way it did?

Quiero ver bailar tu pelo, quiero ser tu ritmo / I want to see your hair dance, I want to be your rhythm Que le enseñes a mi boca, tus lugares favoritos / I want you to show my mouth your favorite places Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro / Let me surpass your danger zone Hasta provocar tus gritos / Until it makes you scream Y que olvides tu apellido / And makes you forget your last name

Poe’s still got a while back to base and tries to occupy his mind with anything–anything else. He looks around his cockpit and goes through each lever and switch like a textbook, naming one after another. Tired from his trip and already worked up from before, his mind wanders and there you are again, dancing with Poe. He closes his eyes and hopes to drift off to sleep instead, but the images appear more vivid now. He softly nibbles on your earlobe and kissing his way down your neck. He doesn’t cares who sees the two of you anymore. He wants you. Needs you. Every sigh and gasp he elicits makes him smile.

Poe moves his fingers beneath the edge of your top, pushing it up slightly, and playing with the inch of skin now exposed. Admitting to yourself that earlier you had control over Poe, now you realize he has control over you. You’re putty in his hands as he works his fingers in soft circles and lines across your skin. Hitting a particularly sensitive spot with his lips along your shoulder, your hips buck and Poe moans into the crook of your neck.

His eyes widen in shock as Poe realizes he didn’t just groan in this imaginary world, but out loud in his cockpit.

Fuck.

You owe him for leaving him this way.

The next hour drags on as he forces himself to talk with BB-8 for the remainder of the trip back. It was a slow return, and Poe puts together a plan for how to pick up from where the two of you left off two weeks ago.

He is going to unravel you. Slowly.

[sualkmedeiors]

Be an Inclusion Rider: Elevate Women In Tech

I will never stop doing my part to make the tech industry more welcoming for women, especially in technical roles. With all of the intense discussion surrounding the subject of equality in the workplace, this is a great time to look at five easy steps you can take right now to make a change for women in tech. At the Oscars on Sunday, March 4, Frances McDormand ended her speech with two powerful words: inclusion rider (take a second to Google it if you haven’t yet.) It is a Hollywood industry term, but anyone can be an inclusion rider—let’s explore how.

“We come in peace, but we mean business” – Janelle Monae, 2018 Grammys

1. Encourage Technical Curiosity Early and Often

I grew up preferring video games and LEGOS to dolls. I enjoyed books and puzzles over playing house (and so did our CMO!). Don’t get me wrong. I still had a super cool pink Barbie car, but in my mind, Barbie was on her way to work and then home to study. My mother encouraged prioritizing my studies over everything else, and my relatives had the wisdom to ask what I was reading just as often as they commented on my appearance. I was a 90s kid, so there were no coding classes available to me. But there were ample opportunities to problem-solve in epic video games such as Sonic the Hedgehog and Need for Speed.

If you’ve got young girls in your life, get them involved with organizations such as Girls Who Code, Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls, or the Anita Borg Institute for Women & Technology. These organizations are fantastic to foster growth and development. Demand for technical skills in areas such as IT (big data, NoSQL, and Apache Hadoop), design (Node.js), and research & analysis (Tableau, Python) have grown exponentially over the past several years and show no signs of slowing down. We are at the forefront of incredible breakthroughs in AI, medicine, and VR. Now is the time to support inclusive workforces to keep driving innovation and problem-solving.

2. Challenge Assumptions and Encourage Resilience

We need to carefully watch the stories we tell ourselves. Have you ever questioned whether women are more ‘naturally inclined’ towards soft skills rather than technical aptitude? Global research has overwhelmingly proven that this is patently untrue. In fact, women on average earn higher grades in high school and college.

That being said, I can relate to this limiting belief. I used to tell myself that I was terrible at math and that learning the subject was utterly hopeless. It wasn’t even gender-related, but it was a false assumption nonetheless.

However, I distinctly remember one T.A., Ryan, at UC San Diego who refused to accept this negative self-talk and treated me as any other person wanting to learn and better myself. Ryan patiently helped me practice each step and new concept until I could mirror his speed and efficiency in solving equations.

At Marketo and previous companies, I have had countless mentors that never assumed I was less competent because of my gender. Rather, they went out of their way to bring me up to speed on relevant technical concepts, openly shared their knowledge and prepared me for technical meetings so I could run them on my own. They advocated for me and gave generously of their advice, time, and experience. I can confidently say that I have had a balanced group of trusted advisors and mentors. I wish the same for women in any role—technical or otherwise.

Something I’ve learned along the way is that success in any field requires resilience. There is no such thing as an overnight success. Although it is undoubtedly easy to glamorize or gloss over a successful person’s hard work, it always includes late nights, weekends, and sheer grit from many frustrating failures and dead ends.

3. Assess Your Environment

Many tech CEOs, including our own Steve Lucas, have included diversity as one of their missions, making significant strides in balancing their executive teams and hiring across the board. For women at Marketo with C-suite aspirations, this gives us inspiration and hope, but more importantly—role models. We have put a stake in the ground and feel comfortable being vocal about our mission to drive conversations and action around diversity in the workplace.

You may not be a CEO or hiring manager, but you can still drive change by considering your current workplace.

What type of office do you work in? Are all people comfortable stepping up for a promotion, even if they only meet 10% (or none) of the criteria? Women tend to self-select out of going up for a promotion if they don’t check every box. If you know someone like this, you can encourage them to step up and make a case for their aptitude. Push them to see what you see: their potential. After all, doing things you can’t do is how you get to do them.

Do people feel comfortable negotiating from a place of problem-solving, rather than being perceived as ‘rude’ or ‘demanding’? Send them this video on negotiation. It forever changed my perspective on the subject. Then send them a copy of my favorite book on negotiating.

How are your meetings conducted? Does everyone get to say their piece, or do some people get interrupted or talked over? If it’s the latter, this article from Harvard Business Review provides interesting context and tactics on how to handle interrupting colleagues.

These are all seemingly small areas that add up to helping people grow their confidence and thrive. Learning how to observe potentially adverse workplace behaviors so you can help solve with some tactical guidance, fosters an inclusive environment.  As a bonus, your own voice will grow and get stronger.

4. Pay it Forward and Share, Share, Share

You may think that you aren’t far enough in your career to help others, or that the only people who are in a position to pay it forward are C-levels, but that simply isn’t true. Even if you’re in your first year of work out of school, you can help college and high school students prime themselves for the real world, a skill that is bizarrely relegated to dusty career centers teaching principles from 1985.

I recently had the opportunity to speak to a group of incredibly bright young women at San Francisco State University. I didn’t possibly think I’d have anything useful to say (hello imposter syndrome!), but there I was, drawing out the sales/marketing funnel and giving practical advice for evaluating job opportunities and navigating the interview process. At least two of the young women from that session have since begun to pursue technical sales roles.

You’ve also probably gathered by now that every other sentence out of my mouth is “I have a book you should read.” But I also love all types of content (blogs, essays, video, etc.) and follow a wide range of thought leaders in the MarTech space. If you are looking for similar inspiration, I highly recommend our own Jill Rowley, Marketo’s Chief Growth Advisor. I have followed Jill on social media for years, ever since I saw her speak at Oracle several years ago. She models the mindset of ‘helping’ vs. ‘selling’ and making every interaction unique and relevant—two principles that have been instrumental in building my sales career.

5. Men: All of This Pertains to You

I fully realize that some men feel uncomfortable spending time alone with a woman at work, including going to dinner, taking business trips, etc. But this is an antiquated mindset that ultimately damages a woman’s career prospects. Everyone needs a mental reset here, where we view each other as people, act as advocates, and hold each other accountable for building skill sets.

I’ve already mentioned this, but I’ll say it again, louder for the people in the back: I would not be where I am today without a balanced group of mentors and without the business trips and dinners where valuable career advice and stories are exchanged. Same goes for every senior woman I look up to.

Why?

Sheryl Sandberg and Rachel Thomas, cofounders of Lean In, said it best in a recent interview: Men’s networks are primarily male and women’s networks are primarily female. Because most men are senior leaders, it’s crucial that men offer mentorship and access to their networks to close the gender gap in leadership roles. I invite every man reading this to extend their hand to one junior woman at their company and #MentorHer. Include her in your team lunches & dinners, introduce her to your mentors, and make sure she’s at the company happy hour. Ask lots of questions about her ambitions. Then help her come up with a plan to achieve them.

Think about who you can help, in your workplace or your personal life. I guarantee that they are just within arms’ reach. All I ask is this: for every person that you help, ask them to then pay it forward to at least one person, creating a domino effect. Then leave a note in the comments with your thoughts!

The post Be an Inclusion Rider: Elevate Women In Tech appeared first on Marketo Marketing Blog - Best Practices and Thought Leadership.

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[larryland]

Need to escape from your feuding family after Thanksgiving? Head over to the Ten Broeck Mansion and spend a few hours with the backstabbing, grasping and ambitious Hubbard family in Lillian Hellman’s The Little Foxes. Your family may look a whole lot saner by comparison!

If, like me, you are fully sated with Christmas carols, nutcrackers and visits to Santaland, NorthEast Theatre Ensemble has something completely different for you — a site-specific production of Hellman’s 1939 classic that captures the story of a Southern family’s selfish pursuit of the American Dream. It ends up destroying them, and those they love.

Not only is the central action of the play presented in intimate proximity, but servants listen at the doors and voices from other rooms drift in. “We really want people who come to see and be a part of this story,” NETE Artistic Director Janet Hurley Kimlicko explained. “In the Mansion the play becomes an intimate, even voyeuristic experience.”

“It wasn’t until I saw the photos taken at our first full dress rehearsal that I realized how amazing this looks,” said Tony Pallone, the actor playing Horace Giddens. “This isn’t a set. It’s a real house.”

“We were able to pull costumes from many different locations, and then Shae Fitzgerald pulled everything together to make everyone look amazing,” Kimlicko added. “And she brought in her sister Bonnie, a theatre professional from Boston, to do the hair. It really completes the look.”

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This is the fifth production for the two-year-old company. “After staging a few shows at an area theater, we wanted to branch out,” Kimlicko said. As it happened, she had crossed professional paths frequently with director Krysta Dennis, who had just joined the board of the Albany County Historical Society based at the Ten Broeck Mansion. Kimlicko had been involved with Dennis’ production of Votes for Women at the Mansion last March, and they both agreed The Little Foxes would be a perfect fit for the space.

“When the idea of staging The Little Foxes came up I thought, who do I want to direct? Wait, I know!“ Kimlicko exclaimed. “So I approached Krysta. We are very much on the same page and work very well together.”

A graduate of Colonie Central High School, Dr. Dennis holds her BA and MA in French and theatre from the University of Notre Dame; two doctorates in drama, one from the Sorbonne in Paris and one from the University of Kent in the UK; and a Diplome de Comedien in physical theatre from the Ecole Internationale de Theatre Jacques Lecoq. She is a lecturer in Creative Arts at Siena College and has been busy with many projects in the Capital Region.

Once America’s premiere — and at times only — professionally-produced female playwright, Hellman’s work is not produced as frequently nowadays.

“Lillian Hellman was way ahead of her time, writing with a sensibility that is entirely modern,” Pallone explained. “She offers a removed perspective on what was going on in her lifetime — with enough detachment to comment on it, and enough attachment to it to make it real.”

“The text is amazing, horrifying, revealing. The timeliness of the misogyny is devastating,” Kimlicko added. “There are so many layers to every character in this production; we spent hours unpeeling each person’s motivations.”

“The power dynamics in the play intrigue me as an actor,” Pallone added. “And there are still families doing the same things today. This is in no way light entertainment.”

“Krysta brought the issue of race more to the fore,” Kimlicko said. “In the script, the servants are very much in the background. Krysta didn’t give them more lines, but used the space to allow them to be seen going about their work — while keeping tabs on the family machinations through open doors.”

Following the November 19 matinee, there was a well-received panel discussion of race and servitude in the context of both the production’s turn-of-the-century setting and today. The panel featured Marisa Williamson, Matthew Kirk, Mary Liz Stewart, Paul Stewart, and Mike Lake.

Equity actors Pallone and Kimlicko are appearing in The Little Foxes under the auspices of Actors’ Equity Association’s Members’ Project Code (MPC). “This special contract is designed for AEA actors who want to do a showcase of their work,” Pallone explained. “A group of local Equity actors formed the Upstate Equity Actors Alliance (UEAA) a few years ago to explore our options as working professionals. We became an official liaison to the New York City headquarters, which allows us to use the MPC to showcase our work in productions like this. This wasn’t possible before UEAA.”

The MPC gives professional actors the option to agree to work for less money than a standard Equity contract would dictate — or even for no money at all. But “NorthEast Theatre Ensemble is committed to paying our artists,” Kimlicko said. “I don’t buy into this BS that artists should work just for the joy of being on the stage. Too many people work very, very hard for nothing. We value our artists and their time. I am proud to say that, in every show, I have been able to compensate our people at least something.”

“This is a wonderful show and a wonderful creative group working in a unique space,” added Pallone. “I am honored to be part of The Little Foxes.”

NorthEast Theatre Ensemble presents The Little Foxes by Lillian Hellman, directed by Dr. Krysta A. Dennis, at the Ten Broeck Mansion November 17-25, 2017. Assistant Director Suzanna Bornn; costume design by Shae Fitzgerald. Cast: Marquis Heath as Cal; Karen Christina Jones as Addie; Parker Cross as Oscar Hubbard; Steven O’Connor as Ben Hubbard; Patrick Quinn as Mr. Marshall, Amy L. Kerr as Regina Giddens; Molly Waters as Alexandra Giddens; Nick Muscatiello as Leo Hubbard; Janet Hurley Kimlicko as Birdie; and Tony Pallone as Horace Giddens.

Performances Fridays at 7:30 pm, Saturdays at 2:00 & 7:30 pm, and Sundays at 3 pm at the Ten Broeck Mansion, 9 Ten Broeck Place in Albany, NY. Performance runs approximately 2.5 hours, with one intermission. Tickets $20, Students/Seniors $12. Seating is limited; patrons without tickets or reservations are not guaranteed seating. For further information, call 518-526-9170, e-mail northeasttheatreensemble@gmail.com or visit http://sbornn.wixsite.com/nete.

Ticket link: https://www.artful.ly/store/events/13799

Dysfunction at Its Finest: NorthEast Theatre Ensemble Brings “The Little Foxes” to the Ten Broeck Mansion Need to escape from your feuding family after Thanksgiving? Head over to the Ten Broeck Mansion and spend a few hours with the backstabbing, grasping and ambitious Hubbard family in Lillian Hellman’s…

[newstfionline]

The Parachute Generation

By Brook Larmer, NY Times Magazine, Feb. 2, 2017

When I first met Yang Jinkai, two days before he boarded a plane for America, the smog hanging over his industrial home city, Shenyang, had turned the sun into a ghostly orb. The 16-year-old paced around the family apartment as his mother labeled his suitcases and packed them with the comforts of home: quilted pajamas, chopsticks, instant noodles. She gestured toward a lone memento that would remain in his bedroom, a life-size needlepoint portrait of her only child, woven in shimmering gold thread. “I worked on that all year,” she said. “I knew this moment would come.”

Yang had never traveled outside China. But he had already chosen a new first name for his life in America, Korbin (“That sounds American, right?”), and was daydreaming about the adventure ahead. “It will be magical,” he said. “I’ll make lots of American friends. I’d like to have an American girlfriend. Maybe”--he shot a glance at his father--”I’ll even get a gun.” Over the summer, Korbin had been working on his English by watching, perhaps too zealously, the American television series “Criminal Minds.”

To help Korbin escape the competitive straitjacket of the Chinese education system, his father had paid nearly $40,000 to an education consultancy to get him enrolled in a public high school in Michigan. The Yang family’s ultimate goal was for Korbin to attend a top American university, and the name of his new high school, Oxford, only added to the allure. It didn’t matter that the place had no connection to the British university or that this Oxford was a small town north of Detroit. “My father,” Korbin said, “really likes the idea of an Oxford diploma.”

Even as U.S.-China relations have slipped toward mutual antagonism, the flood of Chinese students coming to the United States has continued to rise. Roughly 370,000 students from the mainland are enrolled in American high schools and universities, six times more than a decade ago. Their financial impact--$11.4 billion was contributed to the American economy in 2015, according to the Department of Commerce--has turned education into one of America’s top “exports” to China.

It is a strange historical moment when the elites of a rising power send their only sons and daughters, products of China’s former one-child policy, to the schools of a geopolitical rival. Yet the idea of a liberal Western education exerts an almost talismanic hold over China’s ruling classes. While the country’s educational emphasis on rote memorization churns out some of the world’s best test-takers, many Chinese families harbor worries that diverge sharply from those of the tiger parents of popular conception. They fret about the toll competition exacts from their coddled offspring; they wonder if their child’s creativity is being stifled. Even President Xi Jinping, who is presiding over a crackdown on Western influences in China’s schools, allowed his daughter to attend Harvard. According to a 2016 survey conducted by a Shanghai-based research firm, 83 percent of China’s millionaires are planning to send their children to school abroad. The average age, according to the poll, has dropped to 16 today from 18 in 2014--the first time it has reached the high-school level.

In 2005, only 641 Chinese students were enrolled in American high schools. By 2014, that student population approached 40,000--a 60-fold increase in a single decade--and it now accounts for nearly half of all international high-school students in the United States. “Parents realize that they have to start earlier if they want their children to get into a top U.S. university,” says Nini Suet, founder of Shang Learning, a boutique consultancy with headquarters in Beijing that charges $25,000 to $40,000 to help Chinese kids prepare for and apply to American boarding schools. “Families are looking for any edge they can get.”

As a new administration vowing “America First” settles into the White House, there is uncertainty about how long this phenomenon can last. It already faces headwinds within China. A slowing economy has cut into family savings, and a depreciating currency makes American educations more expensive. There are also fewer Chinese students to go around: The population of 18-to-23-year-olds has dropped by nearly a quarter in the last decade.

But the exodus of Chinese students continues for now, driven not just by a push from China but also by a pull from the United States. For each rich Chinese kid who enters an American school--whether public or private, college or high school--the multiplier effect means that entire communities can be buoyed by the buying power of the world’s second-largest economy.

That’s the hope, at least. The reality is more complicated. Much of the money spent by Chinese families desperate for American diplomas ends up with the intermediary companies that connect them with cash-hungry schools. These matches have yielded unusual results. According to an article in Foreign Policy magazine, nearly 60 percent of the high-school students end up in religious schools, despite coming from the world’s largest atheist state. (Their parents welcome the messages of safety, discipline and moral values that emanate from these faith-based institutions.) Another cohort winds up in what are effectively diploma mills, which confer visas and credentials but little adult supervision.

Public high schools are the newest frontier: Less than 5 percent of all Chinese “parachute kids” (as they’ve come to be called) are currently in public schools, but certain U.S. school districts have begun to rely on them to offset budget cuts and increase cultural diversity at the same time as private academies are reaching saturation points.

Few public school districts have deeper ties to China than Oxford, Mich., outside Detroit. In 2010, the town sought to create the first pipeline of Chinese students into a public high school, one that embodied its high school’s motto--”where the globe is our classroom”--even as it brought tuition money to the school. As the number of foreign students grew, other Midwestern schools sought to emulate Oxford’s success. But when a Beijing education company proposed building a multimillion-dollar dormitory for Chinese students on the Oxford campus, a community battle ensued.

Chance put Korbin’s family at the starting point of Oxford’s experiment, in Shenyang. His parents grew up without proper educations in rural villages haunted by the memories of famine. His father, Yang Huaiguo, migrated to Shenyang and scavenged for scrap metal before finding success in the boiler-repair business and real estate. But he worried about Korbin’s education and the almost unrelenting pressure to study for the two exams that determine a Chinese student’s future: the high-school entrance exam, the zhongkao, and the university-entrance exam, the gaokao. There seemed to be no way out, until Korbin’s school opened an international wing in partnership with Oxford. The pitch was enticing: After spending 10th grade in the program, Korbin was guaranteed a place at Oxford High School for two years, until graduation.

His father insisted that this wasn’t just about family prestige or future job prospects. “I also want my son to understand, in a way that I never could,” he said, “that the world is bigger than Shenyang, bigger than China.”

On his first days in Oxford, Korbin marveled at the blue skies, so different from northeastern China, and the absence of skyscrapers. All of America, in his TV-fueled imagination, was supposed to look like New York. Beyond its main street and century-old storefronts, Oxford (population 3,500) is a patchwork of gravel pits and horse stables, wooded subdivisions and a strip mall containing a single Chinese restaurant. Korbin’s host family lived in a house on a leafy cul-de-sac, with two basketball hoops in the driveway and a trampoline out back. Suddenly Korbin had four blond American siblings and a host mother he called “Mom.” His host father worked as an engineer in an automobile industry that blamed the loss of thousands of jobs in the last recession on a single culprit: China.

Korbin immersed himself in Americana: football games, big-box stores, even a Christian megachurch with its own rock band. He was hardly alone in his American adventure. Michigan has become a particularly popular destination for Chinese public-high-school students in the United States, and more than a dozen kids from Shenyang lived nearby. Even at Oxford, where Korbin and 23 other students ended up because their academic program in China and its agent, the BCC International Education Group, had partnered with the school, there were another 19 Chinese kids brought in by a Beijing-based company, Weiming Education Group. The two crowds didn’t mix much, in part because most of the Weiming students lived in a dormitory at Rochester College, a liberal-arts Christian school half an hour away. Korbin felt lucky with his American home stay.

His life in America was very different from that of his predecessors. When the first Chinese students arrived in the United States in the wake of the Cultural Revolution--and later, after the 1989 Tiananmen massacre--many were so poor that they collected aluminum cans or worked janitorial jobs to survive. Today’s Chinese students tend to be far wealthier than their American counterparts, particularly in public high schools. Even among the middle-class students at Oxford, the Chinese kids stirred up envy, and some resentment, by flaunting multiple versions of just-released iPhones. (Korbin had only one.) The Chinese boys carried hundreds of dollars in cash and often wore a different pair of designer sneakers--Nike, Puma, Adidas--each day. Korbin’s Chinese housemate, Oscar Kou, who liked to talk about his father’s fleet of luxury cars, spent several thousand dollars on a laptop so powerful that it blew out the fuses in their host family’s house.

Making American friends wasn’t as simple as Korbin had imagined. In the hallways at Oxford High School, whose student body numbers 1,845, the Chinese kids clustered together, chattering in Mandarin. Korbin longed to interact with his American classmates, but every time he tried, the conversations fizzled when he couldn’t understand their cultural references or slang. Still, Korbin made no secret of his mission. “I’m a Chinese boy,” he told his classes, “but I really, really want to make American friends. It’s the most important thing to me.”

Perhaps his best chance came at the homecoming dance that fall. As he walked across the floor under the spinning lights of a disco ball, Korbin worked up his nerve and asked an American girl to dance. She just laughed. Another girl, another rejection. Finally, the third entreaty succeeded--just as a slow song started up and the dancers turned into a tangle of embracing couples. Korbin’s feet stopped, and his arms locked at his sides. “I totally froze,” he says. The girl drifted off to rejoin her friends, leaving Korbin alone, wondering if a Chinese boy could ever find his footing in America.

If your initial encounter with William Skilling took place in the Beijing Capital International Airport, as mine did, it would be easy to take him for a missionary. Dressed in crisply ironed khakis and a white button-down shirt, his short hair meticulously combed, he was headed to a dusty city in the Chinese interior. As superintendent of Oxford Community Schools, Skilling did see himself as a sort of evangelist for global education. On this trip to China, his 19th, he was reviewing plans for Weiming to build its multimillion-dollar dorm on land bordering Oxford High School. “It will be the first of its kind at any American public school,” he said.

For Skilling, a former high-school government and economics teacher, the dorm project was the culmination of years of networking with Chinese officials, educators and businessmen. His first foray into the China market came in 2008, when with the Chinese government’s help he started what would become one of the largest Mandarin-language programs in American schools. Today more than 2,300 students in Oxford schools, K through 12, take daily classes in Chinese. “The greatest challenge we face in American education,” Skilling said, “is preparing students to work and live in a global world that is changing 24-7.” The Mandarin classes were also part of a local government plan to lure Chinese investment to southeastern Michigan. “There was a reason that we, as a state, weren’t making inroads into China,” Skilling told me. “The Chinese knew Michigan was negative, blaming China for its woes. The way to turn this around was to pay China the highest compliment: by building a world-class Mandarin-language program.”

Beijing returned the favor. In 2013, Hanban--the state agency that runs China’s network of controversial Confucius Institutes, which promote Chinese culture, language and propaganda worldwide--recognized Oxford Community Schools as the “Confucius Classroom of the Year.” Skilling parlayed such recognition into sister-school agreements with 20 Chinese schools. Over the past seven years, at least 40 different Oxford teachers and administrators have visited China. One major deal was struck with Korbin’s public school in Shenyang, which opened an international school for Chinese students, like Korbin, aiming to go to an American high school with a famous name.

With that deal, Skilling had lined up his first supply of Chinese students for Oxford. He also devised a way around the United States regulations that restricted international students to just one year in public high schools. By inviting a local college to sponsor the F-1 student visas for Chinese students in their second year, Skilling maintained that they could remain at the high school--and keep paying tuition--so long as they were also enrolled in and paying tuition for full-time college-level courses. The second year was important: Chinese families want their children to have enough time to prepare for the American college process. The Department of Homeland Security raised no immediate objections, Skilling told me. “This had never been done before, so there were no regulations or road maps to follow,” he said. “This was literally a blank slate.”

Soon, Oxford was attracting Chinese companies with even bigger ambitions. In a trip to Michigan in late 2012, Weiming’s president, Lin Hao, laid out a vision in which 10,000 Chinese students would enroll in high schools in the United States, starting with experimental districts in the American heartland. Weiming, which bills itself as one of China’s largest private education companies, has followed a similar strategy at home, building 15 campuses with more than 30,000 students in nine provincial cities. As Lin told a visiting superintendent from rural southern Ohio: “In China, we have an old saying: ‘Revolution begins in the countryside.’”

Within a year, Oxford signed a memorandum of understanding with Weiming that ensured an even greater supply of Chinese students--up to 200 of them annually for the next 20 years. For each student, Weiming would pay Oxford Community Schools $10,000 a year. It was a boon for a district facing budgetary pressures, but it was significantly less than the $40,000 that Chinese families paid Weiming for the full package of tuition, room and board, insurance and English-support classes. (The company says its fees have since gone down to about $30,500, as it competes for China’s middle-class market.)

Weiming also offered American public schools a bigger prize. If the number of Chinese students reached a certain threshold--from 80 to 100 students--the company promised to build a multimillion-dollar student center and dormitory, at no cost to the school. As the Weiming contingent at Oxford grew, architects in Beijing and Michigan began drawing up blueprints for the dorm. Shortly after I met Skilling at the airport in the spring of 2014, he returned to Beijing to pore over blueprints of the proposed dorm with Lin. They met in Lin’s office, which was designed to replicate the room where Chairman Mao met President Nixon in 1972 to re-establish relations between their two countries. The wall behind Lin’s desk is covered with antique maps, one for each Chinese province where Weiming has built a school. It wouldn’t be long, perhaps, before a map of Michigan adorned the wall. “Lin Hao and I understand each other,” Skilling told me, “because we’re both visionaries.”

The loudspeakers in Oxford High School started blaring halfway through Korbin’s music-appreciation class. “This is a lockdown!” a voice announced. “An armed intruder has entered the building!” Korbin’s classmates leapt from their seats and, crouching low, rushed toward the door.

Korbin didn’t understand the commotion. His English had improved, but his vocabulary was limited--and the loudspeakers were always a challenge. He had gotten used to the rock music that played between classes, creating the kind of happy chaos that would never be allowed in a regimented Chinese school. But this time the tone was grave: “Teachers, secure your classrooms!” Korbin’s confusion only deepened when the music instructor hustled everyone into the girls’ bathroom next door. “Hurry up!” she yelled. When Korbin made it to the bathroom stalls, the teacher locked the door behind him--and they waited, in hushed excitement, until the drill was over.

Later, Korbin laughed about the experience. He had nearly forgotten that his mother’s fears about American life--the guns, riots, school shootings--had almost scuttled his chances of studying in the United States. His father had made a reconnaissance visit to the country before he started, largely to reassure his wife that it was safe enough for their son. The only dangers Korbin faced in Oxford came from his innocent campaign for American friends.

One day, a group of jocks and slackers invited Korbin into the boys’ bathroom for a few puffs from an electronic cigarette. The initiation was unusual for a strait-laced Chinese kid, but he was thrilled to be part of an American posse. “Cool kids never study,” he was told, so Korbin, until then a conscientious A student, eased off his schoolwork. He started lifting weights, thinking he might attract a girlfriend “after I build some muscle.”

But when his new friends began pressing Korbin to join in hazing other kids, he pulled away. He wanted nothing to do with shouting racial epithets at the school’s few African-American students or taunting other Chinese kids with curse words in Mandarin. “I tried so hard to make American friends, but I lost all of my own Chinese style and character,” Korbin told me last year. “I am not that eager to be part of American culture anymore. I would like to be myself, Chinese.”

Korbin and Oscar left their host family and moved in with four other Chinese students under the care of a local grandmother. Korbin stopped lifting weights. He no longer wanted an American girlfriend. He barely interacted with American students anyway, because everyone in his college-level classes--the requirement to maintain his visa during his second year--was Chinese.

Still, Korbin remembers his senior year fondly. After he regained his academic focus, his grade-point average rose to near the top of his class--a 3.96--and his standardized-test scores climbed just in time for his college applications. It felt good to be a nerd again. “I realized that I’m an only son, the last of my family,” he told me. “My parents pay a lot for me to come here, so why shouldn’t I study hard?”

Until October 2014, Oxford’s move into China’s orbit--the Mandarin-language program, the influx of Chinese students--had met little resistance. But the proposed dorm for Chinese students hit a nerve.

Behind the scenes, a group of Oxford citizens began looking into the international program. “I don’t think the community objects to having foreign students here,” says Kallie Roesner-Meyers, a horse-stable owner who started the group, known as Team 20. “But there was so much secrecy and misinformation around the whole China setup that we needed to find out more.” In the spring of 2015, Team 20, which sent the district a flurry of Freedom of Information Act requests, discovered, among other things, that the school board had agreed to a 20-year deal based on Skilling’s recommendation.

In response to communication from Roesner-Meyers, federal agents questioned Skilling about his consulting work for Weiming. One of them also wanted to know more about the visa maneuver by which Chinese students were staying for two years instead of one.

Skilling retired later that year, and Weiming, without giving any explanation, put the dorm project on hold.

By November, the Department of Homeland Security offered a verdict. The visa maneuver would not be permitted in the future, a blow to the model Oxford pioneered.

Oxford has not been punished, but it will no longer be allowed to keep Chinese students for more than one year on its campus. The current crop of 41 second-year Chinese students has been allowed to stay, though they must now take all of their classes at Rochester College, the institution that sponsors their visas, instead of Oxford High School. In June, after a semester of isolation, these kids will even earn their high-school diplomas. The future of the first-year students is up in the air. They may not be able to graduate from Oxford next year, and it is too late to re-enter China’s gaokao system. So they and their families may be back on the international-student carousel, scrambling to find another school to attend next year.

Korbin graduated summa cum laude. In the fall, Korbin headed to Pennsylvania State University. His parents were proud that he had gotten into a Top 50 university where almost 2,500 Chinese students were already enrolled.

When I visited Korbin last summer in Shenyang, he took me to an American-style craft-beer pub his father partly owns. Over a game of pool, he spoke positively about his experience at Oxford. Still, he admitted, he left Michigan after two years without a single American friend. That surprised him. “Weirdly, I think the experience made me appreciate Chinese culture even more,” he said. It’s a common sentiment among Chinese students abroad, who find that their foreign experiences sharpen their sense of national pride. Over the summer, Korbin started delving into Chinese history books and training in kung fu. In America, he found his Chinese core.

Now halfway through his first year at Penn State, Korbin can spend entire days without speaking a word of English. “I’m around my Chinese friends all the time,” he says. “I can’t get a chance to know American friends.” The current political climate may only isolate him further. Korbin is in America legally, studying hard and leaning toward a major in electrical engineering. But how welcoming is a country that increasingly regards his homeland as an economic and security threat? If Trump is serious about being tough on trade, Chinese students, while not in the foreground of such a fight, could be an easy lever for either side to pull. The collateral damage of restricting visas would be devastating, not only for the students themselves but also for high schools and universities, especially across the Midwest, that have become dependent on the billions of dollars the Chinese contribute economically every year.

An even bigger threat may lie within China. Late last year, President Xi’s ideological campaign against foreign influences targeted the kind of schools that prepared Korbin for America. How this crackdown will affect the flow of Chinese students overseas is unclear. Parents may be compelled to send their children abroad at even younger ages to escape the closing cage.

For Korbin, the lack of American buddies and reawakened sense of national identity notwithstanding, high school in America still left a deep impression on him. Last Christmas, after exams, he went back not to Shenyang, but to Oxford. His second host mother gave him two hoodies and some of his favorite chocolate, and cooked a Christmas meal. Korbin presented her with a mug and played with the dogs he had helped care for as puppies. “I definitely wish I was still there,” he told me, and he sounded like just another first-year college kid, missing home.