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stressedemoblackbratz · 3 years ago

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what the hell pt. 4

pairing: euphoria characters x black!fem!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of drugs and slight violence.

a/n: yall finna be mad as hell because i’m not making a sequel until season three :/ i am planning on doing a backstory though. possibly a few other things, but what the hell is completed babies.

words: 2.5k + not proofread

part one | part two | part three | how she came to be

all my life i’ve been good, but now i’m thinking, “what the hell?”

“andddd done.” you mumbled before spraying setting spray onto Lexi’s face. the play started in an hour and you had spent a lot of your time trying to calm Lexi down and texting Fez.

y/n: bro why the fuck i came in and first thing i saw was Ethan playing with his titties and him screaming it wasn’t what it looked like

fez: who is he supposed to be?

y/n: Lexi mama 😪

fez: IM DONE 😭😭

“are you sure your okay with this? i mean i had you upset at first so what about Cass-“ you stopped her rambling when you put your phone down and clapped your hands together.

“i was upset you had my break down a power moment for you. we fixed that up, but Cassie? Cassie can go to hell.” you told the girls sister. her eyes were wide with fear at the thought of her sister being mad at her.

“you’re showing them us…nobody told her to go and fuck Nate. boo hoo.” you shrugged.

“i just don’t want anyone to be mad at me or offended.” she said as she shrunk in her chair. you giggled at her worrying before getting up to leave. the girls were waiting for you outside of the auditorium.

“she’s been trying to gain sympathy for herself this entire time. maybe this will wake her up and guess what? sometimes the truth hurts.”

you walked towards the door, waving at Bobbi and Ethan on your way out.

“oh!” you called out causing Lexi to look back at you along with Ethan and a few other people.

“this is the part where i say break a leg. obviously don’t actually do that, but you better eat these bitches up.” you stated before leaving again, your platforms clicking away.

you resisted the urge to scream and punch Cassie and Nate in their jaws on your way to your seat.

“cunts!” BB called to the two.

you sighed sitting down in your seat beside Maddy. you were overly nervous. you knew Lexi was about to show her experiences with everyone and then some, that being said you were praying she didn’t reveal too much about you specifically.

Kat placed a hand on yours as the curtains pulled back and the first act started.

y/n: show time

fez: i’m coming don’t worry

you were so intrigued by how everyone was behind closed doors and apparently everyone else was too. you loved how Ethan played her mother and how he played Nate.

it wasn’t until an actress resembling you walked out did you mumble “she casted us perfectly.”. with that Maddy and BB pieced everything together.

“wait this fucking play is about us?!” she screeched before laughing at some of the portrayals.

you snorted and nodded before glancing behind you. Rue was smiling and even though you still felt some kind of slight resentment still, it felt nice to know she could find humor in this after all she’s been through.

Elliot’s facial expressions weren’t changing too much, but then again…his goofy ass wasn’t in the play.

Jules was into it and don’t even get me started on Suze. the entire room knew she was loving it.

it wasn’t until Cassie and Nate had both waltzed out of the theater for a moment after Ethan’s number that shit hit the fan. you turned around right in time to see Cassie fog up the auditorium doors glass.

“oh shit.” you and Rue mumbled to yourselves on opposite rows before roughly facing back forward.

Cassie walked up to the stage clapping and cursing at Lexi. Ethan tried to intervene and Suze tried to stop her daughter.

“is this apart of the play?” Micheal asked from across the room.

“how about the part where she fucked Martha’s boyfriend?” Maddy yelled out inciting a gasp from the crowd.

“they weren’t together!” Cassie cried as Maddy snickered. she kept going on and on before the crowd started screaming.

“racist!” somebody called from the crowd.

you did see some of Cassie’s points because yeah she did just literally expose you alls most vulnerable moments in front of everyone.

but honestly?

fuck Cassie.

the bitch was annoying and needed this moment.

and no matter what, Lexi’s truth would be Lexi’s truth.

and sometimes the truth hurts.

y/n: fez i don’t know where you are, but Cassie’s literally giving herself away right now. the bitch is breaking.

you put your phone down and enjoyed Cassie’s hollering on stage and pity monologue she created until she found out her sister knew what she had going on at the fair. literally everyone knew, but that set her off. the second she put her hands on her decoy you had had enough.

“ayo bitch!” you yelled standing up, Maddy standing too when Cassie’s head snapped towards you.

“rock her in her shit Mads.” you laughed.

Jules screamed out in laughter as Maddy ran up on Cassie, you in tow. phones recorded the mini fight before you, Kat, and BB followed Cassie and Maddy into the back, Lexi screaming behind you.

“nonono! Maddy no!” Kat screamed as you all chased Cassie to the back.

Maddy slammed Cassie’s head into the wall and you heard Lexi stop running and start sniffling behind you, you stopped chasing after that.

you let Kat and BB run on as you went to comfort Lexi.

“everything’s literally ruined. i fucked up.” she cried into your shoulder. you could faintly hear everyone cheering Lexi’s name from behind the walls.

“listen…” you said lifting her head. she quizzically looked at you before she sighed in recognition. they loved it. she laughed and wiped her tears away.

“they think it’s apart of the show and the shows gotta go on. go address your people. i gotta go fix “Cassie’s” makeup.” you snorted before going into the dressing room to assess the mauled actress.

you walked into the frantic backstage area. Ethan was pacing, Bobbi was reading over the script in confusion, the light people were reading a light manual, and the actors were huddled together.

“okay people get your shit together! we have a play to finish!” you yelled at them while making your way to the extra makeup kit.

“chair. now.” you said pointing at the blonde with smeared lip gloss and a loose lash.

“now get your ass on that carousel.” you mumbled before walking off back into the auditorium and hearing the last of Lexi’s words on stage.

“so even though he couldn’t be here with us tonight…this one’s for you.” she finished before disappearing.

“y/n!” some guy said making your presence known as you sat in your seat now alone. you felt a pat on your back and heard a few chants before someone came and sat right beside you.

you knew that smell. you smelt it everyday up until a few weeks ago. it kind of irked you, but you were trying.

“are you okay?” Elliot asked you.

now i know what your thinking.

why aren’t you pushing Elliot away? why aren’t you making a scene. you let Rue off the hook with a mini beating, but your cool now? so Elliot gets the same treatment?

well.

your dad had talked to you and honestly? moving on and forgiving, but not forgetting was way more peaceful than dwelling on it.

“you can hate them.” Ali told you. “you’re allowed to, but from here on out? what else you do is gonna determine your situation.”

you accepted their actions for what it was and forgiving wasn’t like you, but you were 18. you couldn’t cry then punch people forever.

when your dad told you Jules and Elliot both told Leslie about Rue using and her running away you felt your heartstrings pull.

you couldn’t imagine what it was like.

but that explained why a few weeks after you fought her at Fez’s house she told you she was clean. she was trying to get better. you wanted to be better too.

so you forgave her.

and if you could forgive her that meant you had to at least face Elliot.

“y/n please just wait!” he called out to as you stormed from Hayes’s office after Cassie’s impromptu attack with tears running down your face.

although Cal was long gone, his name ran long and his son still was able to pull strings. you had to promise to not press charges on Cassie and to never mention it again to get out of suspension.

she kept getting coddled and you hated it.

“Elliot please.” you tiredly mumbled. he stopped at your expression and the tears staining your face. the last time he saw you cry you had exposed him.

he didn’t like that expression on you.

“what’s wrong?” he asked in that caring tone he always had when you first started dating. you sighed before laying on the cold wall behind you and sliding down it.

you chuckled looking up at him as he looked down at your defeated frame.

“i exposed the truth and i’m still tired. i still can barely take it.” you let out a humorless laugh. “i should feel better.” you said looking at his cheek tattoo.

he crouched down and wiped the tears from your cheeks. you resisted the urge to lean in and push him away at the same time.

“i know me saying sorry doesn’t fix anything.” he softly said. “but i truly am sorry. when i say i loved you and i still do i mean it. i truly do. i treated you horribly and i’m sorry.” he sincerely said.

you took one big sniffle before nodding your head at him.

“…i know…and i forgive you.” a small smile broke onto his face before he grabbed your hand and squeezed.

you felt some warmth and had to force your small smile to go down. shaking your head and pulling your hand back to speak to him.

“i’m not ever going to forget what happened. i don’t have that luxury.” you stated. “that being said our relationship will never be the same. i don’t hate you, but i don’t think we’re ever going to be be close again.” you said struggling to stand with numb legs. you were ready to take a nap.

Elliot nodded at your words before he helped you up.

“at least i have something.” he smiled. you rolled your eyes before waving goodbye to him.

“Elliot.” you said in acknowledgment of the boy beside you as an actress that resembled you walked on to the stage again.

“Jade, Star, and i met the first day of preschool. i already knew Jade, but Star was new and gravitated towards us immediately. we were three very different people, but we were one.” Lexi narrated.

“there was once a time Star didn’t show up to school for around two weeks.” she added.

“she’s probably like, dead or something.” Jade said licking at her ice cream. Lexi smacked her shoulder and Jade quickly went to cradle her aching arm.

“don’t say that! she’s probably just sick. you know that orange chicken was green last week.” the audience laughed at her words. Jade let her arm go, nodded, and proceeded to eat her food. Lexi turns to the audience with a solemn look.

“the truth was Star’s mom had up and left her and there was no warning or reasoning why. Star hadn’t been to school because she had no ride. her food at home was running low, and there was not that much money left.” Lexi announced to the engaged crowd. your own eyes were watering as you were forced to live your truth again.

“Star never knew her father, but by a miracle the day before everything in her home was to be shut off, she was able to call him. he heard her voice and despite never knowing of her, he came running.” Lexi said walking into the darkness as the lights panned to another area.

Star was off to the side of the stage crying into a phone before Ethan appeared as her dad and took her away.

Star and Lexi laid on the ground staring up into the sky.

“she left me Lex…she fucking left me to die and he was right there, but she never admitted it.” Star cried into her chest. Lexi ran her hand over Star’s head.

“turns out her dad was close, but yet so far her entire life. her mom had her in the same town as her father, but never took her to him. little Star had so much to figure out. a new home, a new normal, once no dad and a mom to now, no mom and a dad.” Lexi sighed before continuing.

“Jade also had to figure things out too. a bit over a year later, Jade had to bury her father.” the curtain closed as they got ready for the last act.

the audience clapped as you sobbed into Elliot’s jacket. he patted your back and rubbed your head as you let everything out on him. you head was starting to hurt from the tears, but the show was starting back up.

“i was in the hall when you died…” Jade’s voice sucked you in.

you paid attention you looked at every little thing, including slightly laughing at the picture of you all at Rue’s father’s funeral. you stood up clapping and shouting as the cast bowed before the curtains closed for the final time in farewell.

Maddy and Cassie still weren’t back. Neither were BB and Kat. you felt bad they had to miss the rest of something so beautiful. you and Elliot walked past Jules who nodded at your and ignored Elliot, moving to go speak with Rue.

you went outside and waited for her. once she returned with no Jules you came to talk to her. Elliot was a yard away smoking a cigarette and watching you two.

“how are you feeling?” you asked her. she smiled and did a small squeal.

“i don’t feel…i don’t feel like a monster anymore. that play made me feel more human than I’ve ever felt these last five years.” she said smiling at you.

“i felt kind of exposed and overwhelmed, but it honestly was so freeing.” you said agreeing with her. you wish Fez could’ve experienced it.

little did you know the boy you knew who only wanted protect Fez and to make his money was laying on the cold floor, his entire life gone.

the same hall Fez first saw Ash was the same hall he saw Ash leave from.

“hey!” Lexi yelled running up to you two and giving you both a hug. Rue broke apart first.

“you’re a fucking genius!” Rue shouted.

“Julliard is needed now!” you shouted too.

she laughed at you two before gif and Rue joined in.

“you guys wanna go out and eat with me and my mom?” Lexi asked. She agreed, but you grimaced and sighed shaking your head.

“i’m going to Fez’s.” you explained. you needed to see what was up because you knew he wouldn’t miss this for anything minor.

“oh! tell him i’m not mad? i know something must have came up.” she rushed out as Suze called her name loudly.

“bye y/n!” Rue said as you started to leave.

“will do. i’ll see you later!” you called behind your shoulder.

y/n: i’m coming over :p

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