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upcloseandchaotic · 4 years ago

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Girls’ Night

This idea has been bouncing in my head for a while mostly as a distraction from doing my other WIPs. It was also originally supposed to be short.... I don’t know what happened 🤷🏼‍♀️

Summary: After helping Bucky with a rough round of nightmares, you decide that you need to have a Girls’ Night with your friends.

One Shot; 2,478 words

Disclaimer: Bucky, Natasha, and Wanda are not my characters.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Natasha Romanova, Wanda Maximoff, Female!Reader

Relationships: Bucky x Female!Reader

In the sunlight his hair was a soft chestnut color, but now as you ran your hand through it and wrapped the silky locks between your fingers, the night seemed to darkened it to where someone could mistake it for black, almost as dark as the night sky. You hummed to yourself, imagining what his hair would look like filled with falling stars and circling planets, but then quietened down as you heard his voice start rumbling in his chest, a pained groan building in his throat.

Soon Russian words started falling sharply from his lips. His arms and legs started twitching, his brow furrowing. You quickly grabbed your phone from the side table, pressing the button to open your notes app and started writing down everything that seemed important, like names or locations. It looked as if his nightmare from a couple of hours before was coming back, but this time his dream went more in depth. You were able to pull some ideas of where this “vault” was located, names of people, random words that you think were once used to help program him. It hurt for you to watch him twisting and turning, crying out in pain, it left you feeling helpless even though you knew from experience that waking him up would just make it worse.

The longer it continued you felt a rage start simmering down in the pit of your stomach. It burned as if a coal had finally caught a flicker of a flame and grew until your hands were shaking and you were silently fighting with yourself to stay there with him and not go find the people responsible for his pain.

Once his murmurs turned into more like whimpers and his twitching started to slow, you started whispering sweet nothings into his ear and gently combing his hair back from his sweating face. Slowly, without waking up from his dream, he started to relax back into the bed and eventually you can hear light snores signalling that he has fallen back into a dreamless sleep. Before you slide back into your spot beside him you grab your phone and send a message to Wanda and Natasha. Girls’ Night soon?

Wanda was probably still asleep, seeing as it was around five in the morning, but you weren’t surprised to see three dots flashing. Natasha seemed to have an uncanny sense of when Bucky was having nightmares and always seemed to be awake.

Yes! I’ll bring the nail polish! 💅

You smiled and sent back a gif before turning your phone off and threw it back onto the nightstand. Reaching out to Bucky, you smiled as he unconsciously moved to accommodate you; his arm wrapped around your shoulders and when you tucked yourself into his right shoulder he turned, curling up around you and throwing his metal arm around your waist. You could feel the warm huffs against the top of your head and his usual scent of spice, leather and gunmetal surrounded you. With the sound of his heartbeat in your ear and the warmth of his body seeping into you you close your eyes and drift off into a deep, dreamless sleep.

You were standing in the kitchen putting together a cheese and cracker plate when you felt two hands circling around from behind you, one warm and soft and the other cool and hard. They wandered under his shirt you were wearing and started creeping upwards slowly with gentle caresses.

Smiling softly, you put the crackers and cheese down to place your hands over his, halting his movement and . “What are you doing, Buck?”

Bucky’s chin dropped onto your shoulder and he whispered into your ear. “Do I really have to go, doll? You know I don’t care about what you all talk about. I’ll even let you and the girls paint my nails.”

You sighed and twisted around so you could stare into his aquamarine-colored eyes, which were trying to pretend to be charming but actually belied his nerves. He always required some more physical reassurance after having a bad bout of nightmares, and as much as you wanted to allow him to stay so you could comfort him you knew that this Girls’ Night was necessary and that he couldn’t be here. To ease some of his discomfort, though, you pulled him towards you and reached up to cup one cheek. He sighed and leaned into it and you watched as some of the tension in his jaw relaxed.

“Baby, I wish you could. If it was any other night it would be fine, but tonight it really has to be just us girls.” Bucky gave a dejected huff and closed his eyes, leaning a little bit more into your hand, “But I will take up your offer to paint your nails. I have a really pretty blue color that would match your eyes.”

When he opened his eyes again you could see a glint of mischievousness flash briefly and before you could blink he had a grip on your thighs and had you up in the air. You squeaked and quickly wrapped your legs around his waist. He laughed and sat you on the counter next to your half-done cheese and cracker plate. You gave him a mock glare and lightly smacked his chest.

“Don’t be like that, Doll,” Bucky crooned. He stepped forwards so that he was standing between your legs, pressed up against you. Leaning forwards, he hovered his lips so that they were a hairsbreadth apart from yours. You got a clear whiff of his favorite cologne and the mint toothpaste he used. “I was just havin’ a bit of fun. We both know how much you like it when I pick you up like the babydoll you are.”

“That’s true, but the girls are going to be here any moment and I still have a lot of stuff to finish getting ready. Also don’t you have to meet Steve and Sam in about 20 minutes anyways? You still have a 15 minute drive, Buck.”

He hummed, pulling your wrist off of his face to read the time on your watch. When he saw that he was going to run late he grumbled but backed off, allowing you to hop down from the counter but close enough that he could keep his hands on your arms in case you lost your balance.

You hurriedly finished up making the plate of appetizers while Bucky begrudgingly went and collected his wallet and keys and then you both met up at the doorway.

“Have fun with Steve and Sam, baby. Call me if you need me,” You say, leaning up to give him a chaste kiss. Before you could step back, though, he snuck a hand into your hair, keeping you close as he proceeded to deepen the kiss. After a few minutes though someone knocked loudly on the door, startling both of you into separating. When you and Bucky gathered enough braincells to answer the door, Natasha and Wanda were standing there, smirking and giggling at the dazed look on both of your faces.

“Come on, Barnes, it’s our turn with Y/N. You can have her later tonight,” Natasha joked, pushing past you and Bucky to place the wine bottles she brought with her on the living room table. Wanda snuck past too, dropping her bag onto the couch before starting to search for wine glasses in the kitchen.

Bucky chuckled, ignoring the two girls as he dropped another kiss onto your lips. “Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Bye, babydoll, I’m countin’ down the seconds until I come back to you.”

You rolled your eyes but smiled as you heard a mixed chorus of fake gagging and awe-ing behind you. “Go on, Buck, I’ll see you later.”

“Don’t use all of the nail polish, ladies! I look forward to my manicure when I get home!” he shouted as he walked away, smiling brightly as you laughed. You stayed there, leaning against the doorway to watch him until he disappeared on the stairs.

“Hate to see him leave?” Wanda asked as you closed the door and stepped back into the apartment.

“But love to watch him go,” You sighed dreamily. Natasha groaned and threw a pillow at you, causing you and Wanda to break out into laughter.

“Okay, okay! Truce!” You cried, throwing your hands up.

“Fine,” Natasha conceded, “You live to see another day, Y/N… Now, what information did you find the other night?”

As Wanda opened the bottle of wine and set it to the side to let it breathe, you pulled up your notes and explained what Bucky had said during his latest nightmare as well as what you had been able to find from an initial search. Natasha stayed quiet during your explanation, responding with nothing but the occasional nod, and Wanda pulled her laptop out of her bag, starting it up and opening the files you all had compiled and sent them.

At the end of your report Natasha poured the wine into the glasses and took a quick sip. “This place sounds familiar to me, but I’m not 100% sure I have been there. I think maybe they used it as a threat in the Red Room? What were the names he mentioned again?”

When you repeated them, Wanda chimed in with “I think I’ve heard about that place, it’s in Siberia. Pietro and I were almost sent there a couple of times, they told us it was their top training facility.”

“Could you point it out on a map, Wanda?” You asked, quickly pulling up a map of Serbia on your phone.

“I think I could…here let me see.”

Wanda looked over the map and you bit your lip, twisting the wine glass between your fingers, anxious to see if you guys would have a break through.

“Here,” she said, pointing at a spot in the Balkan Mountains, “It’s closer to Serbia and it’s hidden deep inside one of the mountains.”

“I’ll try and see if I can pull some layout plans from the upload you did, Nat,” You said, reaching for Wanda’s laptop. As you did your deep diving into the files, Natasha and Wanda made a quick order for food from the Italian place around the corner.

Right after the food came in and Wanda had refilled all of the glasses, you gave a short cry of triumph and flipped the computer around to show them the layout of the Hydra base, as well as the information needed to get in. The three of you smirked while raising your glasses in a toast, celebrating that for once you were able to get all of the information needed..

The rest of the night was spent making a plan of attack and then double and triple-checking to make sure everything would go as planned.

You slipped into your apartment silently, placing your heels next to the door and padding softly down the hallway. The whole apartment was dark except for the lights of the busy New York street shining through the window. Using the little bit of light and muscle memory you managed to weave around the furniture, setting your jacket and purse gently on the living room table on your way to your room.

You could see Bucky, sprawled on his side of the bed, body facing the door as if he had tried staying up so he could make sure you got in all right. You sighed, letting your body sag against the door frame briefly even though you winced as your sore muscles ached, a reminder of what you had gotten up to tonight. Even though, originally, it was supposed to be just Wanda and Nat infiltrating the base, you had had to go in to hack some computers. It was just bad luck that those computers were guarded by some giant, beefed up Hydra goon who seemed to be immune to effects of a fucking taser. Needless to say, it was extra satisfying when he did eventually succumb to Natasha’s famous thigh chokehold.

Bucky was snoring lightly, but it seemed as if his sleep would be undisturbed tonight, almost as if his body sensed that one more nightmare was no more. You stepped forwards and cursed loudly as you tripped over his combat boots and went sprawling across the floor. As Bucky startled awake and flipped on the light, you sat there hissing and briefly wondered how satisfying it would be to just throw them in the trash right in the moment.

“Babydoll?” he asked, his voice rough and low as if he were still half asleep, “Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” you huffed, wincing as you climbed back up,, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep, Buck.”

“Don’t worry about it, I was waiting on you anyways.” Bucky pushed himself up the bed and sat back to watch as you started to gather all of your supplies to get ready for bed. “How was your Girls’ Night? Did you get some free drinks tonight?”

“You know it,” you shot back, winking over your shoulder. You heard his breath hitch as you drew your dress up and off, revealing your black lace thong and push up bra. You turned around and before he could say something you know would lead to both of you not getting any sleep that night, you pointed a finger at him and said, “Not a word, buster.”

Bucky raised his hands in the air with an innocent expression on his face that was quickly overtaken by a charming smile, “I wasn’t goin’ to say nothin’, doll….but now that you mention it, that set does looks stunning on you.”

“Ah ah!,” You cried, wagging your finger once more, “It is 2 AM, James Buchanan Barnes, and we are both exhausted. We’re getting some sleep before anything else, ya hear?” Bucky laughed but agreed, sinking further into the bed the closer you got to finishing your nightly routine. By the time you were climbing into bed yourself his eyes his body had sunk into the bed and his eyes were slowly blinking. Once you were comfortably resting on your side facing him he tucked an arm across your waist and pressed his hand between your shoulder blades, pulling you closer to his body until you both were unable to figure out where one started and the other ended.

“I’m glad you had a fun night with the girls, babydoll,” Bucky whispered into your hair groggily.

“Thanks, baby,” You whispered, smiling as you heard the soft huffs of his breath above your head. You kissed the shoulder closest to you and sighed as you sank into the warmth of his body, the bed, and the knowledge that Bucky was now safe from one more nightmare.

tags: @babiiface95

Dividers by: @whimsicalrogers

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x female!reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes oneshot #bucky x reader #bucky x y/n #bucky x you

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mangoofthesea · 3 years ago

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Took me a week but I'm here! I was tagged by @abstract-moth

1. Why did you choose your URL?

I decided to do a revamp of my blog last year after having the same blog url and set up for a few years.

I was really into this podcast called You're Wrong About at the time and they had a series on Jessica Simpson and during it they talked about some joke relating to her being made fun of for questioning why a can of tuna had the brand name Chicken of the Sea and i liked the sound of 'of the sea' as the name of something and subed in 'mango' because I really like mangoes and I thought the name as a whole had a cool vibe to it (made these choices all in about 10 minutes the same day I was setting up my new laptop)

2. Any side blogs?

Technically 2 but I don't pose much to them :supernatural-art and spacewordwasaimingforozai, both from different eras of interests

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

pfffft uhh I wanna say since about 2014 since I've had an account which went unused for around a year then started using it from the beginning of 2015

4. Do you have a queue tag?

sometimes I use q but I will just occasionally queue things really

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

I saw loads of screenshots on fb and pinterest of tumblr posts and they made me laugh and I wanted to get in on that, as well as hearing it was good for fandom

6. Why did you choose you icon/pfp?

It was when I was doing the blog revamp and I had the picture saved in a 'to draw' file and thought it was a good vibe

7. Why did you choose your header?

same reason as above but a meme folder

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

This one that I made before falling asleep and woke up to find a lot of people could relate then its just kept going up

9. How many mutuals do you have?

At least about 20 I think, some I don't interact with or see active anymore so probably more like 15 that I see regularly

10. How many followers do you have?

694 wow nice c'mon guys get me to 700

11. How many people do you follow?

398. I honestly thought it would be more

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

Probably????

13. How often do you use tumblr?

Basically every day minus when I delete the app from my mobile for whatever reason for a couple days and only use it sporadically on my computer and am active less

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

Had an argument briefly with someone on a post of mine a few years back about an opinion I had for a show (supernatural) and what they were doing with the plot. I think I technically won it mostly by not getting aggressive and just repeating it was an opinion I had that could maybe happen, but I found it so stressful I deleted all reblogs I had done with the discussion on lol

15. How do you feel about “you need to reblog” posts?

I think its nice to do and personally I really like reblogging basically everything but get that other people don't. It's something that can be nice to do and feels very tumblr exclusive which is why I like it I think

16. Do you like tag games?

I love them! So thanks @abstract-moth it's been fun getting tagged in stuff again as it's been a couple years since that's been consistent for me

17. Do you like ask games?

Also love!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I think maybe akaashiscupofwater as they seem present in the hq fandom quite a bit and I got super excited when they followed me

I’m tagging @wonderlandmoonrose7 , @gats-puckish-rogue , @flannel-wearing-warrior (absolutely no pressure though), and anyone else that wants to do this :)

#tag game #personal #funny

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thevoidfishsminstrel · 4 years ago

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Every Coffee Cloud Has A Silver Lining

Lena was staring down at the depressing ‘1,483’ on the corner of her mail app as she pushed through the door to the little cafe. She flicked through her emails, deleting most of them immediately as she moved through the queue. When she got to the counter she rattled off her order without looking up and stood to the side to wait.

Lena liked spending her breaks at this cafe. It meant she could continue working on her laptop without Jess being there to tell her off for not actually taking a break. It was small and normally quiet, with windows all along the front that let the warm sunlight come pouring in. The smell of coffee and fresh pastries permeated the air and soft jazz was played through little hidden speakers.

A few minutes later she heard her name called out and grabbed her coffee. She was about to take a sip when she paused, looking down at the drink in her hand. Where normally there would be a pretty leaf design or something, there was a squiggly shape with blobs of milk foam.

Lena turned back to the counter with a raised eyebrow, more amused than anything.

The woman at the counter gave her a sheepish smile and adjusted her glasses. “Would you believe me if I said it was a new abstract style of coffee art?”

Lena tried to stop herself from laughing. “What was it supposed to be?”

The woman (or ‘Kara’ as her nametag proclaimed her) huffed and pouted. It was far too adorable. “It was meant to be a leaf. I’m sorry - I’m new.”

Lena laughed and Kara smiled brightly at her but there was still a small queue and Kara had to get back to work.

Lena sat at her usual table in the far corner and relaxed back into the comfy chair, blowing gently on her coffee to cool it down and smiling at the blobs on top.

———

Lena was back at the same time the next day and smiled when she saw Kara was there again.

“Lena!” Kara beamed at her.

She raised an eyebrow. “You remember people’s names after just one coffee? Impressive.”

Kara chuckled and adjusted her glasses. “No, not normally. I guess you’re just memorable.��

They both blushed and ducked their heads and Lena almost walked off without ordering her drink.

When Kara called her name again, she went up to the counter and looked at her coffee.

She smirked. “Let me guess - it’s a cloud.”

Kara laughed. “That’s exactly what I was going for - see, I’m an excellent coffee artist.”

Lena shook her head in amusement and went to her table.

It was only when she went to throw away her cup as she left that she saw the little smiley face Kara had drawn by her name. She couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. (The strange look Jess gave her was probably unrelated.)

———

Lena found herself in the cafe more often after that. She told herself it was because she was having a stressful time at work and needed the time to relax. She didn’t believe herself.

Kara occasionally stopped to talk to her while she went around wiping tables (most days trying to convince her to try a caramel frappe instead of her ‘boring adult drink’) and Jess kept looking at her as though she knew Lena hadn’t been able to do any work and had actually had a break.

Lena was thrown when Kara wasn’t there one day. Her coffee had a beautiful leaf pattern on but it didn’t come with the Kara Danvers Smile.

She was sitting in her usual corner when she saw Kara come stumbling out the door from the back, tying on her apron. The redhead that had served her coffee looked unimpressed as Kara said something and got a cleaning cloth thrown at her in return.

Kara lit up when she caught sight of Lena and made her way over. She frowned down at her coffee and pouted.

“Aw, someone else already made you coffee? I feel so betrayed, Lena.”

She laughed. “It’s not my fault you weren’t here. Although, I have to say,” she picked up her cup and looked at it, “I think your dinosaur yesterday was better.”

Kara grinned. “I knew it looked like a dinosaur!”

Lena gestured to the seat opposite her. “You know you can sit down if you like?”

Kara fiddled with the cloth in her hands and glanced back at the counter. “Alex probably won’t be very happy if I don’t do any work at all but will you still be here in 15 minutes?”

Lena was supposed to be back at the office in 5. “Sure.” She probably didn’t have any important meetings.

Kara grinned and skipped off to wipe tables. Lena quickly sent a message to Jess to tell her she’d be back a little late. She ignored Jess’s following interrogation.

Kara flopped down into the seat opposite 15 minutes later with a huff and flicked the towel onto her shoulder.

Lena smirked. “You cannot possibly be tired. You only got here 20 minutes ago.”

Kara whined and dropped her head back against the chair. “I’ll have you know I had a very tiring night.”

She raised an eyebrow and Kara pouted.

“I did! And it wasn’t even my fault - it was Mike.”

Lena looked down and brushed imaginary dust off her laptop keyboard. “Who’s Mike?”

“Oh,” Kara made a face and waved her hand. “He’s- I don’t know he’s not even really a friend - he kind of just tagged himself onto our group. I had to spend all last night making sure he didn’t get himself into trouble because he’d got so drunk.”

Lena frowned. “You’re way too nice. I would’ve left him to get himself in trouble.”

Kara laughed. She waved happily at Alex who was glaring at her from across the cafe.

She turned back to smile at Lena. “So what are you doing?” She nodded to Lena’s laptop.

Lena waved her hand and closed the lid. “Oh, just some work.”

“Oh gosh,” Kara sat forwards in her seat, making to stand up. “I’m not disturbing you am I?”

“No!” Lena reached out a hand as though trying to push Kara back down using The Force. She winced slightly at how loud her voice was and cleared her throat. “No, it’s fine. I was finishing anyway. And I like… spending time with you.” Where was not-so-socially-inept-CEO Lena when she needed her most?

Kara smiled shyly and adjusted her glasses. “I like spending time with you too.” She tilted her head at Lena’s laptop. “So where do you work?”

Lena picked up her coffee and took a sip to buy herself some time to calm her nerves. “Um… L-corp?”

Kara laughed. “That sounded more like a question.”

Lena watched as recognition took over from her amusement and downed the rest of her coffee.

“Wait - Lena as in Lena Luthor?”

Lena gulped and nodded.

Kara’s eyes lit up which was definitely not what Lena was expecting. “Golly, how did I not realise! The Lena Luthor? You’re incredible!”

And thus began the most unorganised, excited, politest rant Lena had ever been on the receiving end of. She sat and gaped at Kara until she trailed off, nervously adjusting her glasses.

Kara cleared her throat. “Sorry. You probably came here to relax and here I am telling you things you must have heard a million times.”

Lena looked down and shook her head. “No, it’s fine. Nice, actually. Not a lot of people are willing to look past the Luthor name.” She shrugged at Kara’s look of confusion and outrage.

“Well those people are dummies.”

Kara looked so certain of this mildly phrased fact that Lena was a little taken aback. It reminded her of how Lex used to defend her and made her heart clench.

She smiled politely at Kara and started packing up her things. “Well, I should probably be getting back.”

Kara stood up with her, looking slightly worried she’d said something wrong.

Lena bit her lip and fiddled with the strap of her laptop bag. “I’ll… see you tomorrow?”

Her smile became a little more real when Kara brightened and nodded enthusiastically in answer.

When she looked back as she left the cafe, Kara was still standing there watching her with a smile on her face.

———

Lena was not having a good day. She had just finished an emergency meeting that had run from 6:00 that morning and had another in half an hour. She pushed through the door to the cafe, lost in her thoughts, planning to grab a coffee and head straight back to L-corp to sit and be stressed until she had to go into the next meeting.

Kara seemed a little nervous as she took her order and asked her to wait to the side but Lena was too stressed to take it in. When Kara called her name, watching her come up to take the drink and biting her lip, she barely took notice of it. She quickly smiled at her and grabbed the drink, turning to leave immediately.

She was halfway to the door when she noticed the name on the cup wasn’t hers and went to turn back to the counter.

“Oh, I think I’ve got the wrong…” It was only then that her brain actually processed what she was reading. Instead of having her name on, the cup read ‘Kara’ and underneath was a phone number.

She looked up at Kara who was twisting her hands together and looking as though she might run away at any moment. Lena looked back down at the coffee. On the top was a perfect heart.

“I um…” Kara adjusted her glasses. “I’ve been practicing.”

A smile started to spread across Lena’s face and the stress that had been so prominent in her brain five minutes ago melted away. She bit her lip and ducked her head.

Alex chose that moment to enter through the back door. She looked between the two of them and rolled her eyes, turning and leaving again immediately.

Lena approached the counter again. “Hi.”

Kara swallowed. “Hi.”

Lena tapped the counter and looked up at the menu boards. “Do you do reservations and preorders?”

Kara frowned. “...Yes?”

“I’d like to reserve a table for the same time tomorrow with my usual and a caramel frappe, please.”

The brightest smile Lena had ever seen spread across Kara’s face and Lena couldn’t help but mirror it. Kara Danvers was like her own personal ball of sunshine and she was pretty sure she was halfway in love with her already. Jess was never going to let her hear the end of this.

#supercorp #a ‘lotl writing

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mab1905 · 4 years ago

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84 Questions

original:

https://fuckyeahsurveys.tumblr.com/post/61049002526/84-questions

1. Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first 10 songs

Someone New (Hozier)

Cactus Tree (Joni Mitchell)

Budapest (George Ezra)

And Dream Of Sheep (Kate Bush)

Nancy Mulligan (Ed Sheeran)

And Then She Kissed Me (St. Vincent)

Level of Concern (Twenty One Pilots)

Lovefool (The Cardigans)

Best For Last (Adele)

Video Killed The Radio Star (The Buggles)

2. If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you?

Japan. I travel a lot and it’s been on my list for a while, I would really want to go to the Hayao Miyazaki/Studio Ghibli theme park, if it ever opens that is. I would bring my best friend, Layla. I also would love to go to Amsterdam again.

3. What is your preferred writing implement? (eg. Blue pen, pencil, green pen)

My ink nib cartooning pen (similar to a quill, but without the feather)

4. Favourite month and why?

October, not too hot, not too cold, and of course, Halloween!

5. Do you have connections to any celebrities (even minor)? List them.

Nope, met several, got to true connections though.

6. Name 3 items you could pick up from where you are.

My iPad, my Leatherman Multitool, my collection of David Bowie postcards.

7. What brand logo is closest to you currently?

The Apple logo

8. Do you ever play board games or other non-computer games? Got any favourites?

Chess. Card games like Solitaire, Black-Jack, and Castle. A game that I can’t remember the name of but it’s essentially a board-game version of Capture The Flag. Mostly Chess.

9. A musical artist you love that isn’t well known

St. Vincent? I’m not sure if she’s well known or not.

10. A musical artist you love that is well known

David Bowie.

11. What is your desktop background currently?

A picture of Apollo 11 accompanied by the words “It won’t fail because of me”

12. Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them

My best friend Layla, through the iMessage app.

13. First colour name you can think of that isn’t in the rainbow

Salmon

14. What timekeeping devices are in the room you are currently in?

My iPad, my computer, my collection of vintage stopwatches

15. What kind of headphones do you use?

Sony, wireless, noise canceling, over-the ear

16. What musical artists have you seen perform live?

Twenty One Pilots, Sylvan Esso

17. Does virginity matter to you?

I guess? I think it’s important, it’s certainly some kind of ‘milestone,’ but I don’t think it should be treated like the scale of a persons ‘purity.’ It’s important because it’s sex, and (hopefully) that means that you’re sharing a consensual, intimate experience that feels fucking great for both (or all, if it’s more then two) participants.

18. What gaming consoles do you or your family own?

Z e r o, although I’m hoping to buy a PS4 at some point so I can play Detroit Become Human.

19. What pets do you have? What are their names?

Juno is my cat, she is an adorable grey tiger-striped shorthair. She’s got little white mitten-paws and it’s absolutely ridiculous.

20. What’s the best job you’ve ever had?

Doing tech at a local theater

21. What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?

Teaching art to little kids (I like kids but it was just exhausting)

22. What magazines do you read, if any?

The New Yorker, and the National Geo if I’m like, waiting in my doctor’s office or something.

23. Inspiration behind your URL?

It’s just my initials and a year from the Edwardian era

24. Inspiration behind your blog title?

It’s just my initials

25. Favourite item of clothing?

My reddish-brown knit sweater vest and my floral bow-tie (often paired together)

26. Are you friends with any exes?

I made a very conscious effort to cut my exe out of my life… we were not happy for a very long time to say the least

27. Name at least one book you loved as a child.

Strega Nona, it’s about an Italian witch that makes great pasta in a magic pasta pot. My dad would read it to me and my sibling in Italian.

28. What’s your native language? If that language has distinct regional variations, which variation? (eg. AU English, US English)

US English

29. What email service do you use?

Gmail

30. Is there anything hanging on the walls of the room you are currently in?

So many things. Here's the list:

A giant David Bowie poster, a plaque that says “David Bowie IS,” five David Bowie postcards, a giant Abbey Road poster, all of my patches from summer camp, polaroids of me, my friends, and my family (including my cat), ticket stubs from concerts and plays, two trail markers that I took off of fallen trees on two important cross-country backpacking trips I went on, playbills from a bunch of broadway shows I’ve seen, a poster that says “Stonewall was a riot,” a DC Comics poster, a Pink Floyd poster, a few paintings of mine, and a painting that I got for free from a street artist I befriended in Rome when I was twelve

31. What’s your favourite number, and why?

16, 24, 21, and 8, some numbers make me uncomfortable, but these are just very soft and light and nice

32. Earliest moment in your life you can remember?

A rocking chair with fruits painted on it sitting in a dark room and my great grandfathers brown leather loafers (I remember early early stuff in just images or stills, not full moments)

33. What did you have for dinner yesterday?

Pasta with shrimp

34. How often do you brush your teeth?

Usually twice a day, but I’ve been waking up later and later and sometimes forget in the mornings

35. What’s your favourite candy/chocolate?

I don’t know the name of it but it’s this chocolate bar that is stuffed with caramel, hot chili flakes, and crunchy bits of baked tortilla. It's one of the greatest things I’ve ever tasted.

36. Have you had other blogs on Tumblr? Do you have any other blogs currently?

I used to have one but I deleted it because I never used it

37. If you were suddenly really hungry, what would you choose to eat?

I would probably walk into the kitchen, realize that too eat something I would have to muster the effort to cook something instead, and then decide to just have a glass of milk instead.

38. What fandoms would you consider yourself a part of?

Downton Abbey (primarily Thommy)

Chernobyl HBO (as well as the Leonid Toptunov/Sasha Akimov subfandom)

Lord of The Rings and The Hobbit (books and movies)

CrankGamePlays

Buzzfeed Unsolved

Star Trek TOS

Philosophy Tube

The Dark Crystal and The Dark Crystal: Age Of Resistance

39. If you could study anything, what would it be?

If I had the energy to fully wrench my life in a completely different direction I would like to become a professional scuba diver and study the ocean. I already am a scuba diver, but it’s a hobby and not something I’m able to do very often at all.

40. Do you use anything on your lips? (eg. Chapstick, gloss, balm, lipstick)

I’ll wear chapstick if I have a cold

41. How would you describe your sense of humour?

Intellectual and dry

42. What things annoy you more than anything else?

People who think they’re better than everyone else and people who recognize a fault in themselves and then refuse to work to change it

43. What kind of position are you in at the moment?

I’m laying on my bed, hunched over my laptop

44. Do you wear much jewellery?

Occasionally I’ll wear a necklace or a few rings. I have a lot of non-traditional bracelets (I literally just have pieces of canvas and industrial tie-line wrapped around my wrist). I’m a gay guy and I like to sort-a walk the line between feminine and masculine (often leaning more towards the masc side), so it really depends on my mood.

45. Who is the leader of your country, currently? Any other levels of government with leaders? (State, region, province, county, district, municipality, etc)

A cheese-pizza flavored pringle is currently POTUS and every day the thought of that tears away at a piece of my soul.

46. Last 3 blogs on your dashboard, not including any of your own

@shochmonster @velvet-of-the-night @panicsheerbloodypanic

47. What do you carry your money in?

My pocket, I have a wallet and I don’t use it

48. Do you enjoy driving? Why or why not?

It’s fine, don’t love it don’t hate it

49. Longest drive you have ever been on?

Three days

50. Furthest away from home you have ever been?

Went on a trip to Switzerland to visit family, I think that’s the farthest but I’m not entirely sure.

51. How many times have you moved house?

Twice

52. What is on the floor of the room you’re currently in, not including furniture?

Five paintings, stacks and stacks of books, boxes filled with stuff (mostly more books), plates, glasses, cutlery, clothes

53. How many devices do you own which can access the internet?

2, and iPad and a computer

54. Is there is anything that is guaranteed to always make you happy?

Listening to music

55. Is there anything that always makes you sad?

Thinking about my past for too long

56. What programs do you currently have open?

Google drive, I’m writing

57. What do you associate the colour red with?

Blood and fire

58. Last strong smell you can remember smelling?

Shrimp and butter

59. Last healthy thing you ate?

Three green olives and a handful of bean sprouts

60. Do you drink tea or coffee, and how much per day?

Used to drink coffee like it was life support (which it essentially was), now I’ll have the occasional cup of tea.

61. What do you associate the colour blue with?

Birds and rain

62. How long is the closest ruler you can find?

I don’t think I own one

63. What colour pants/skirt/etc are you currently wearing?

I am wearing olive green corduroy slacks

64. When was the last time you drank water?

30 minutes ago?

65. How often do you clear your browser history?

Never

66. Do you believe nude photos can be artistic, rather than erotic?

Nude anything can be artistic, it can also just be normal, eroticism is in the eye of the beholder.

67. Ever written fanfiction for anything?

Yes dear god so much fanfiction.

68. Last formal event you attended

I genuinely can’t remember, I am have extreme social anxiety and don’t go to events like that unless I absolutely have too

69. If you had to move your birthday to another date, which one would you choose and why?

I don’t care about birthdays

70. Would you prefer to be at a beach or in the countryside?

Beach, I love to swim, I’m also a surfer

71. Roughly how many people live in your town?

Uhm… eight times the number of people who live in the state of Montana and that doesn’t count daily commuters and tourists (New York City is essentially just a tin of sardines, except inside are 8.399 million sardines)

72. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you?

No, but three of my friends were born on the day just after my birthday.

73. Favourite place to shop? Can be a certain store or a place where there are multiple stores

The Strand Bookstore, L Train Vintage, any antique shops in the town of Hudson, New York

74. Do you have a smartphone? What kind? If you don’t, do you want one?

I used to have an iPhone 5SE but then it stopped working after a few weeks of quarantine and I haven’t gotten a new one (I’ve had it for about 5-6 years so it makes sense)

75. What is your least favourite colour, and why?

I don’t have a least favorite color, but my favorite color is prussian blue

76. How do you spell grey/gray?

Grey

77. Go to your dashboard and describe the image shown in the radar section (below the “Find blogs” link)

It’s anime fanart for a show I’ve never heard of

78. What difference is there between how many followers you have, and the number of blogs you follow?

79. How many posts do you have?

219

80. How many posts have you liked?

619

81. Do you post mainly reblogs, or your own content?

Mostly reblogs but I do my own content as well

82. Do you track any tags?

No, just blogs

83. What time is it currently?

10:39

84. Is there anything you should be doing right now?

writing

I’m not quite sure who to tag so it’s just open to anyone I guess?

#i love questionaires #they're so much fun

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gh0stbird · 4 years ago

Note

Okay Now Do The Rest

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Bright but argumentative. I was never afraid of pointing out things I didn’t feel were fair hfhddh

When we were learning numbers kids would often write 91 for nineteen, just flip them, y’know, and Ms. Potter yelled at the class for it. Baby Generiq went into it about how it was an understandable mix up because you do say the number first. In twenty-three you write the two first, so in nineteen it’s easy to assume you would write the nine first.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

Tired.

8. movies or tv shows?

TV shows. Every book adaptation should also be a series not a movie. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Honeysuckle and sunshine

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Floor hockey! My friend and I used to be brutal and swing at each other’s shins going after the ball. Also it was reminiscent of golf, which I competed in.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I have an untitled playlist I cycle my current music in and out of, but Newton’s Third Law is my favorite named one!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

I don’t- I guess the yellow smarties. Don’t come for me they taste like lemonade.

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?

I assume this means assigned book and not the reports we got to pick for ourselves. Ah, Night was good. Lord of the Flies was fine but way overhyped. Again, don’t come for me.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

If I can tuck my legs into the chair I am sitting in that is ideal!

18. ideal weather?

When you know it is going to rain and you get to stay home

19. sleeping position? (Skipped on accident)

I reeeally like pressure, so either against something or on my stomach.

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

Phone notes and a notebook! Sometimes a blank document but I always find it strangely intimidating

21. obsession from childhood?

Warrior Cats, Percy Jackson, and Maximum Ride were my big three!

22. role model?

Aa I try to straw from people I want to copy, but there are talents I look up to. Rachel Chavkin is a brilliant director, and there are so many artists and authors I look up to and who inspire me.

24. favorite crystal?

Obsidian because it’s black like my hea- I’m kidding, I do love obsidian, but it’s Rose Quartz because it’s a very very pretty, soft pink and makes me happy.

25. first song you remember hearing?

The mobile above my crib played Imagine by John Lennon. My childhood room was themed after it as well!

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Swim or sit in the sunshine. Ben and I usually go driving with the top down as well.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Walking through fresh snow is amazing, so are snowball fights and building snowmen.

28. five songs to describe you?

Oh fuck yes

Hurricane - Hamilton

The Reckless and the Brave - All Time Low

Almost There - The Princess and the Frog

All This and Heaven Too - Florence + the Machine

Facade - Jekyll and Hyde: A Gothic Musical Thriller

30. places that you find sacred?

I don’t typically find places sacred, but certain headspaces are very special to me, and time spent with loved ones means more than enough to be considered sacred.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

A black blazer with a white button-down and a skirt.

32. top five favorite vines?

I am in Missouri (misery)

I love you, Bitch

I want a Church girl

Obama’s “I know because I won both of them”

I won’t hesitate, Bitch!

33. most used phrase in your phone?

“No worries”

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

That fucking PFI bandana boot sale I stg

35. average time you fall asleep?

Somewhere between 9:00 and three in the morning

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Some girl doing bunny ears on her friend. I don’t remember what the caption was

38. lemonade or tea?

Both. Mixed together. It’s called an Arnold Palmer and it is my favorite drink

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Lemon cake!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

We duck taped out principal to the wall once. Also some kid broke their tray over another kid’s head at lunch one time.

41. last person you texted?

The family group chat, though Beau if Discord counts

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I wear a lot of leggings so jacket pockets!

44. favorite scent for soap?

We had some Lily of the Valley hand soap that was amazing

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy, I think! I’ve never done super heavy into the other two. Though I definitely don’t want to ignore sci-fi because two of my favorite stories are a little science-fiction-y

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

A t-shirt and shorts

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

A banana. Generally accepted as a fruit and kind of just rolls with it, but is actually a berry

49. what saying or quote do you live by?

I fucking hate Hamilton-ing on main, but

“And when my prayers to god were met with indifference, I picked up a pen, I wrote my own deliverance!”

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

That changes every time Beau and I play HetaOni together, but I have fucking lost it for at least five minutes the last two sessions.

51. current stresses?

I dunno, man, life? My hair could use a wash

52. favorite font?

Covered by your Grace and I’m a big Spectral baby. These are both google docs! I don’t know if that makes a difference.

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Patience is important when teaching material, but never be afraid to find another approach better suited to the person you’re tutoring.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Robin Hood!

56. favorite tradition?

My family does homemade Springfield cashew chicken for Christmas!

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

Uhh lots of self-acceptance shit no one really wants to read

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

I can pop the joint at the center of my foot

That’s all

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

I sort of like my role as mom friend, so maybe I could keep that role in a sort of action-based anime that followed a group of friends

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“I am not the protégé to waste your time on; I'm complete!” Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

62. seven characters you relate to?

Haha

Lisa Carew - Jekyll and Hyde: GMT

Japan - Hetalia/Oni

Garnett - Steven Universe

Hfhddh that’s all I can say that aren’t my own characters

63. five songs that would play in your club?

I Don’t Like Clubs, but

Overwhelmed - Royal + The Serpent

Backseat Serenade - All Time Low

Go Big or Go Home - American Authors

The Nights - Avicii

Tempo - Lizzo

64. favorite website from your childhood?

Webkinz!

65. any permanent scars?

Yep - One from a bad bike wreck. My body rejected the dissolvable stitches so it’s a lot bigger than it was supposed to be

66. favorite flower(s)?

Lily of the Valley, daisies, Day Lilies, and Dandelions! I also love honeysuckles but I don’t know if those count.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Accidentally drank rancid milk once!

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? (Haha, nice)

The fastest, free way to fill up your potions on Wizard101 is to play Potion Motion to level three.

70. left or right handed?

Right handed

71. least favorite pattern?

On myself, animal print

72. worst subject?

I’ve never been intuitively good at History, I do think it’s interesting though.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

I don’t like to take it until I can’t move without it.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

Kindergarten? I had mono and then scarlet fever twice, so my baby teeth were pretty much ruined and they all fell out very fast.

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

Curly fries!

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Kalanchoe’s, it literally Window’s Thrill. These babies are fairly temperamental outside and love partial sun, so the window is the perfect spot for them. And! If you keep them happy! They’ll bloom! My personal favorite is the pink bloom.

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

What’s wrong with coffee from a gas station? Also I don’t like seafood.

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Earth tones!

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

Lightning bugs

82. pc or console?

PC!

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Podcasts - talk radios actually tend to get under my skin for n o reason

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, but let it be known I was brutal with mine. We did human sacrifices and the like.

85. fairy tales or mythology?

Mythology!

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies, but I’m a slut for whipped frosting

87. your greatest fear?

Losing control!

88. your greatest wish?

A life beyond where I am now. Haha Stop chasing new down the hallway you’re so sexy haha

90. luckiest mistake?

Logged into Omegle in like 2015 and some rando asked me to join their Doctor Who roleplay. Luckiest moment of my gd life.

91. boxes or bags?

Bags! They’re easier to store

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight! But in the late afternoon when everything is bathed in orange.

93. nicknames?

Mom is the most prevalent!

94. favorite season?

Fall into winter. Peak leaf crunch!

95. favorite app on your phone?

Discord or Notes

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steveramsdale · 5 years ago

Text

10.11 MyLastEverBlog(?)Blog?

Think back to November or December in 2015. You’d never heard of Tashkent and your Saturday mornings were your own. If you had heard of Tashkent, you probably knew little about it and could not imagine what daily life there might be like. Those things were about to change. I was about to find out about daily like in Tashkent and, through me, so were you. I think I’ve said before, I didn’t expect to be writing a blog every week. I didn’t think anyone would be interested in reading such a document. But here we are. It is not ending how I expected, this year has not turned out in a way anyone expected. This will be, almost certainly (!!!) my last Saturday as a economic migrant in Uzbekistan. So, find a comfortable seat. Grab your favourite Saturday morning beverage. Settle for the final edition of the blog no-one needed! Therefore, this is (almost certainly) the last blog from Teaching on the Naughty Steppe. By the way, that blog title is made of the five best words I have ever written, probably the only good, clever, interesting words over the four and a half years. Anyway, you will be getting back your Saturday mornings, so start planning for what that freedom could mean to you.

On Saturday, I went out for tea, back with Wendy, Malek and Maya, and it was hot. Just as I arrived back at NBU, the theme of the week emerged - The Ticket Crisis. I received at text message telling me that my flight on 1st July had been cancelled. It advised that I could change the ticket. This was in the context of news that Turkish Airlines had not been given permission to resume operations to and from Tashkent. There was also news of additional repatriation flights operated by Uzbekistan Airways to various locations, including Istanbul. I tried using my phone to re-book the ticket. I tried using a laptop at Wendy’s house. I kept getting an error message at the same stage. I downloaded the Turkish app. It worked. I was able to rebook for the 2nd July and was able to relax and enjoy the evening (for a while). Various colleagues said ‘hi’ as they left the compound and when a group of three returned, they came into the garden. They came to let us know that they had just been to the main office of Uzbekistan Airways as they had been told that the last 5 tickets out of the city were available. They had bought them for a flight the next day. They had all sorts of rumours available to share. There would be a few more flights but commercial flights were shut down until August. The whole of Central Asia was shutting down until October (because a Kazakh government minister contracted the virus). There were, however, more tickets on the flight than the five they had told me about. It was a wild ride. I had my tickets. There were three more days of school. I had things I needed to do. I was sceptical about the stories. That was not the end, however.

On Sunday, I had my last Russian lesson(?). I had managed to ‘sell’ most of my spare Uzbek currency via UK bank transfers, which was good. Then I realized I owed for one Russian lesson and had this last one so I didn’t now have enough money - maybe. I can use a Visa card if I really have to.

On Sunday morning, I got another text message about the flight. At first I thought it was another cancellation and thought: ‘Is this going to keep happening for the rest of my life?’. It was, in fact, just a change -10 minutes earlier. By about 10:30am on Sunday, I was organised to such an extent that I could have been out of the flat, on my way to an airport, in m 15 minutes. This was my intended state of readiness for the next 11 days or so.

I made my last ever bus journey. Early Monday I walked to school - or I set off walking. I saw a couple of almost empty buses go past and decided I should take one last ride. Early adopters of the blog will remember our fun getting on different buses when we first came to Tashkent. It was the 24, fittingly.

By the end of Monday afternoon, the classroom was almost packed up. I would go in again on Wednesday for a final check - but it was almost the end. On Monday I also received another text message about the flight - again just a ten minute change to the the departure - the second flight this time.

Tuesday morning saw no changes to my ticket. Unusual times. Discussions were still ongoing in the message group. I was, once more, working from home. Between lessons, I decided to go and get some different drinks, via the bin to Ben’s little shop. I went downstairs and got to the corner, only to realise I had forgotten a face mask. I went back and got one. When I got back to the exact same point, I noticed something strange in the rubbish bag. It was a kitchen knife. I stopped and thought about going back again. I could not bear the thought of that. I put the knife in my little bag and went down to the bins. As I headed towards the shop, I thought about the fact that they sometimes check bags. I did not want to try to explain why I was carrying a knife, so I went home!

Wednesday morning saw the arrival of an email saying that Turkish Airlines resumption of flights had not, in fact, yet received official Uzbek government approval. So, the date of 2nd July was still ‘up in the air’. I genuinely apologise for that phrase. Would I be flying on the following Thursday?

All of this uncertainly (keep reading) may mean, there may need to be at least one more blog to resolve this part of the story. I cannot tell you that I will definitely not be here next Saturday. I think you might want to know how (and even if) this ends! Anyway, if I’m going to suffer, you can, too.

Here’s a strange little story to change the mood for a moment. As I was drifting off to sleep on Tuesday evening, I thought about someone and decided I would ask Mairi, the next day, if she had heard from this person. I was awake in the middle of the night and knew that I would not be getting straight back to sleep. So, I got up and checked my messages and there was a message from this person. I know that is a coincidence, but still slightly cool and spooky.

Wednesday was our last day. I saw one of my students in person as she came to return her iPad and collect her belongings. That was really nice. She was the only one I saw. It was a very strange end to then year but I think it was ‘easier’ for me that a proper end would have been.

A few staff arranged to have a get-together on Wednesday evening and I decided to go. It was not too far from me so I walked round and it was very pleasant. I made this note - ‘The girl selling tissues who took the money but didn’t give the tissues.’ It was Mark who was persuaded to buy them. I think she just forgot to hand them over, but it was funny. I then saw her again later as I walked home . She was walking along counting her money.

On Thursday I had my flat inspection, a ‘hospital appointment’ my telephone with my consultant and an interview with a supply agency.

Friday was also an unexpectedly busy/exciting day. The next flight chaos arrived. A message saying my flight from Tashkent to Istanbul had been cancelled. It was time to see if the Uzbek repatriation flights were on. As I set off, Dave got in touch and I told him to join me. It was quite early, but there was already quite a gathering outside the office. I won’t say queue because this is Tashkent. I stood at the back of the scrum. A man asked me if I needed help. I said I was here for a ticket to England. He said I could go straight in. I was unsure, but others waved me forward. I was allowed in and soon after, Dave arrived. Within about 20 minutes, we both had tickets to Istanbul and a reasonable price. Now to check the UK leg.

When I got home, I called Turkish airlines. The app was not letting me do anything. I explained the situation and said that I now had an alternative flight to Istanbul. I wanted to know if I could still use the Manchester ticket. He said I could not. After some back and forth, he told me I could cancel the whole ticket and book a new flight. He told me about the one at 13:40, I pointed out that I knew about that flight as I HAD A TICKET FOR IT. We cancelled and re-booked. He also told me I could only arrange a refund via email. I sent the email. I also filled in a claim on the website. A little while later, a call came to my phone from an Uzbek number. It was a woman ringing to give me a number to call to claim my refund. I wrote the number down and then called it. I got in to a hold queue and decided not to wait. When I looked at the number of the incoming call it was the same as the one the woman had given me. So she called to give me the number she was calling from for me to call to get the refund! A little while later, someone else called and they sorted the refund. The outstanding one from Emirates is still outstanding. But, I (hopefully) have a route home with only 24 hours at Istanbul airport.

My final activity on Friday was to meet two wonderful people at Ecorn. We made a video call to Mairi, too, so she was ‘there’ as well.

The government here is trying to encourage people to continue to be vigilant and sensible. They have sent out police and national guards to check hygiene methods are being observed at shops and markets. Also, the cars making announcements are back out.

And that is my last week (probably). It has been quite a ride. By next Saturday, I should be home home! I will let you know either way! Good Bye.

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter 20 - Seed + Spark

AN: YOU GUYS! It’s back! I’m a big sucker for this story (and especially Harper Coleman) so I just had to do what I do and give you both sides of a story. So, without further ado, enjoy the first chapter of Harry’s POV of Seed + Spark. Let me know what you think!

wc: 4k

read the first 19 chapters here.

Harper Coleman was a bit of an enigma. I mean, you’d think after 14 years of knowing her, I’d come to understand her a little better than still being confused by the way she laughed or joked or seemed to be one of my sister’s favorite people.

But alas--as I sat across from her in my girlfriend’s dorm room, watching as she feverishly typed away at the computer on her lap--I was left with no more understanding of the girl who was simultaneously the bane of my existence and, quite possibly, someone I wanted to kiss.

The feeling wasn’t exactly new. There were multiple times in my 20 years on this planet when I had considered it. There was the time it actually happened, when we were nine and in the garden and she seriously walked right up to me, grabbed my cheeks in her hands, and pressed her lips to mine.

She went back to swinging and later ate the last ice lolly that my mum had--and thus started the never-ending debate of whether I loved or hated Harper Coleman.

She was kind of like a sister--mostly in the sense that she was obnoxious and loud and regularly embarrassed me in front of my friends and certainly in front of my girlfriend. Quinn, however, found Harper to be hilarious and lovely and that made sitting here just a bit awkward.

When I started dating Quinn, I didn’t think much of it. The fact that she was Harper’s roommate was just a bonus. I mean, after all, Harper and I had long been in a pattern of insulting each other to see who could be the meanest. Dating Quinn seemed like the perfect way to not only bug the crap out of Harper, but also supply myself with a limitless supply of opportunities to piss her off. My favorite past time.

But when spending more time around Harper made me feel even more unsure than I already had been since she moved to my neighborhood at age six with her extremely American family in tow, I was already in too deep. Quinn was planning holidays and I was getting laid and for some reason, hanging out with Quinn and Harper and their friend Millie wasn’t all that bad.

So here I was.

“You’ve got something on your cheek,” I said, my gaze on her as she looked up suddenly from her laptop. She was completely ignoring my presence, which wasn’t all too unusual for the two of us. When she looked around the room, I realized she’d been so engulfed in her homework that she had failed to notice, until now, that Quinn was in the shower and her and I were alone.

She reached her hand up to touch her cheek, brushing the crumb off--the last remaining evidence of the bag of crisps she’d been snacking on when I arrived. She rolled her eyes at me, letting out some inaudible mumble before looking back down to her screen.

I looked back down to my phone, scrolling mindlessly through an app, only somewhat bothered by her attitude. I mean--she was lucky I even brought it up in the first place. “You’re welcome.”

But that was the thing about Harper--she was nothing if not intriguing. For years we were inseparable, playing in the garden or convincing our parents to let us bike down the street past where they could see. And what I learned rather quickly about Harper is that she was never meant to be more than my friend.

Somehow, somewhere along the lines, that was the label we’d decided upon. And something told me that 14 years was a little too long to go back and undo that.

Which is why, when I realized that Quinn and Harper were total opposites in every sense of the word, I took the chance and made the decision to spend my time moving on from the childhood thoughts that still seemed to swirl in my mind.

And when Quinn reappeared from the shower, the smile she offered me lit a spark in my stomach that reminded me of the good decision I’d made.

“I heard there’s a movie in the first floor lounge,” Harper spoke suddenly, looking up at both of us as Quinn searched for a pair of shorts in the drawers beneath her bed.

I stopped scrolling on my phone--the idea of going didn’t sound miserable, but sitting on the floor and hoping that some sort of projection system the resident supervisors in our building rigged up would work didn’t sound ideal.

Quinn reached for her hairbrush and let out a sigh as she turned to face Harper--who still sat criss-cross on her bed. “I think Harry and I were going to just stay here and do some homework--but you should go!”

“Yeah, you should go,” I told her.

She stared at me with an unimpressed look on her face, not bothering to mask her displeasure. I stifled a laugh--unsure of what had bothered her in my words, but she looked over to Quinn before looking back at me.

It wasn’t that Harper didn’t have the right to be in her own room, but sometimes it felt like she did the exact opposite of whatever I suggested.

“Maybe I’ll stay and finish this paper,” she shrugged, her eyes locked on mine as Quinn grabbed some clothes from her closet, disappearing back into the bathroom to dress.

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at her lousy attempt at our metaphorical tug-of-war.

“Will you ever give us some time alone?” I whispered, a hint of anger in my voice as I dropped my phone and rested my head against the wall above Quinn’s bed.

“You have plenty of alone time, I go out almost every night on the weekend,” she shot back, clearly offended by my accusation.

Harper was one of those stubborn people--the kind that would be difficult just for the sake of being difficult but if she knew you found her to be difficult she’d only be more difficult. Make any sense? Good. That’s Harper.

“Yeah, asshat,” I rolled his eyes again at her. “We’re out on the weekends too. I mean when we’re just hanging out, you know--when we could get busy.”

She didn’t seem to get it--she didn’t seem to understand that my intimate relationship with Quinn was considered highly important to me. The way I saw it: things were great in bed. Outside of bed? Things were fine. Mediocre at best. Maybe that made me a bit of a knob for even admitting that, but the way I saw it, I needed to maintain a good sex life with Quinn if I wanted to keep the relationship afloat. If you took that off the table, there wasn’t much there.

“You’re disgusting,” she pulled a face and hopped down from her bed after shutting her laptop.

I offered Quinn a smile when she reappeared from the bathroom, now dressed in pyjamas. “Maybe we can watch a movie here, babe,” I said as she climbed to join me on the bed.

Harper pulled a sweatshirt over her head and shot me daggers, but I simply smirked at her in return. Quinn let out a noise of pleasure as she came to cuddle up next to me.

“Catch ya on the flipside,” Harper saluted us before heading out the door--barely making eye contact as it slammed shut behind her.

“Sometimes I feel like she hates us,” Quinn said quietly, handing me the remote to find a movie or show to watch.

I waved her off, shaking my head casually. “Harper hates me, if anything. Not you.”

She shifted away from me, putting distance between us so she could look me in the eye, a smirk on her face. “What did you ever do to her, anyway?”

I rolled my eyes, laughing slightly at her playful accusation. I set the remote down and raised my eyebrows at her--taking in the way her wet brown hair fell around her shoulders. Quinn--who was short and sweet and maybe (possibly) a bit immature, was the exact opposite of Harper. She was polite and somewhat shy and she spent a good 15 minutes perfecting the blush on her cheeks and the way her hair curled every morning before heading to class.

Most days, Harper would throw on a shirt and jeans without checking to see if anything matched. She’d throw her hair in a bun and show up to our Societies of the World class.

“I didn’t do anything to her,” I shrugged my shoulders, suddenly pulled into thought about the history between me and the girl who grew up down the street. “I pushed her down the slide once, but other than that, can’t think of anything.”

It wasn’t necessarily true--I mean, I could name a number of things that made Harper Coleman curse the day I was born. Like the time I put a whoopie cushion under the cushion on her couch at her 9th birthday party or the night when I crashed a slumber party she was having with my sister and her sister and sent an embarrassing picture of her to a chat room.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Quinn reached for the remote and started to scroll through netflix. “She’s a good person, you know. Good roommate, too.”

I didn’t respond--I didn’t know how. What was I supposed to say? Yes, I’m aware. So aware, in fact, that sometimes I question if I have feelings for her or if I’ve just lost my mind and gone absolutely mental.

Quinn didn’t push, though, which was one of her better qualities. We fell into a comfortable silence that left me thinking about Harper until I was able to get her out of my head--only by bringin my lips to Quinn’s and eventually getting busy beneath the sheets--that was, until Harper (in all of her American glory) barged in and ruined my life--but it’s okay, I was used to it.

The walk across the quad and back to my campus apartment was colder than usual. The fall air was settling into London and a text came across my phone--just a heart emoji from Quinn--as I rode the elevator up to my floor. When I opened the door to my room, I heard Liam in the bathroom.

“Hey,” he opened the door and greeted me in a pair of shorts. “Where were you?”

“Quinn and Harper’s room,” I said, sitting on my bed as I pulled my leather boots off. Liam picked up his toothbrush and reached for the toothpaste on the counter.

“How are they?”

I let out a sigh and thought about how to possibly answer his question. Luckily--or unluckily, rather--Liam was perceptive enough to know that something was off. He narrowed his eyes as he brushed his teeth, urging me--without words--to say what was on my mind.

“Harper walked in on me and Quinn having sex so that kind of put a damper on the night,” I let out a chuckle, running a hand through my hair as his eyes widened.

He spit into the sink and then started brushing again, speaking around the toothbrush in his mouth. “Of course she did,” he laughed.

“The problem is that the more time I spend with Harper the less,” I paused, unsure of how to even word my thoughts and feelings.

Liam spit once more and then wiped at his mouth. “The less what?

“The less I dislike her,” I said, looking up at him. He paused for a second, and when I didn’t continue, he let out a stark laugh, leaning against the door frame as he crossed his arms.

“Mate, you and Harper are either going to end up married and bitching at each other for the rest of your lives, or one of you will murder the other in the middle of the night. S’anyone’s guess, really.”

I stood from the bed and rolled my eyes, pulling my shirt off over my head and tossing it at him. He swatted it to the floor, still amused by his own joke.

“I don’t understand--why is it such a bad thing to hate Harper less?”

I let out a noise of displeasure and walked to my closet, reaching for a new t-shirt. I turned to look at him, letting my eyebrows climb north as I spoke. “How am I supposed to interact with her? We’ve only ever given each other shit and if I start to actually have feelings or something and I--”

Liam cut me off, his jaw dropping open as. “Feelings? Hold up. Like--you might actually like her?”

“No, I didn’t mean that--I just--I dunno, okay?” My cheeks were hot and my stomach was suddenly tied in a knot. Liam seemed to gain composure and smirk--albeit slightly--as he scratched at the back of his neck.

“Makes sense, really,” he shrugged.

I walked towards him, entering into the bathroom as he stepped aside to give me space. “What do you mean?”

Another shrug of his shoulders--his smirk only grew as I reached for my own toothbrush and ran it under the water. “You two having feelings for each other--that would explain why you’re both absolute wankers to each other.”

“I don’t think she has feelings for me,” I shook my head, watching as I squeezed the toothpaste onto the blue and white bristles. She couldn’t. There was no way.

Sure--maybe I’d always wondered what it would be like to kiss Harper Coleman. I guess I was always a little bit curious as to what all of the boys in school found so enchanting about her. But that was the thing--Harper had a laugh that made your head turn in her direction. She had a smile that seemed to find it’s way to your face, even if you fought it (trust me, I’ve tried). She had a way about her that made disliking her difficult, even though I fought really hard.

So maybe that was why I’d told myself for so long that I couldn’t stand Harper. Maybe I’d spent so much time convincing myself that she was loud and obnoxious and annoying (which was all true) because I was too afraid to admit that I wasn’t above her charm.

And perhaps, if I stopped telling myself just how annoying she was for a mere second, I would have realized a bit sooner that I could stand her. In fact, I found her quite enjoyable.

Liam reached up a hand to slap me on the back, making eye contact in the mirror. “What a plot twist that would be, right? You and Harper,” he laughed, shaking his head as he made his way back into his bedroom. She shut the door behind him after a heavy sigh, leaving me alone with the sound of running water and an even stronger desire to kiss Harper Coleman.

If it weren’t for the revelation that Liam had so kindly brought into my mind, and said revelation keeping me up well past my bedtime, I wouldn’t need the second cup of coffee I was currently waiting in line for.

Harper--clad in her green apron and hat with The Counter logo plastered on it--looked flustered. She hurried from the till to the espresso machine as Millie, her ever-faithful partner-in-crime, stifled a laugh as Harper nearly slipped on a spilled latte on the floor.

“Hey,” I said, stepping up to the register once the girl in front of me stepped aside with her coffee in tow.

“What can I get started for you?” She asked--her voice almost robotic as she scanned my face. Was I supposed to address it? Was I supposed to apologize that she’d maybe seen below the belt and definitely saw more of her roommate that she’d likely planned?

“Just a large coffee, black,” I said abruptly, my eyes on her as she reached forward to punch a button on the cash register.

She turned away from me without another word, grabbing a cup from the stack and placing it below the coffee spout. She pressed a button, letting it fill nearly to the brim as I offered Millie a tight-lipped smile.

She barely kept my gaze, heading to the back stockroom before I cleared my throat.

“Sorry about last night,” I said, bringing my eyes back to her as she turned around and reached for a lid. She snapped it on, brought the coffee back to the register and handed it to me, wiping her hands on her apron before punching more buttons on the register.

I knew this version of Harper well. This was the version I’d get every so often when I’d really done it. Like the time I told Daisie Whitley--someone arguably more popular than Harper in Year 5--that Harper slept with a stuffed animal. I hadn’t meant to out her like that, but I was always curious as to where her line was.

One day she’d give it right back to me and the next she’d get offended, sulk away and inevitably wait for me to seek her out. I’d ride my bike over to her house, ask her if she wanted to walk to the petrol station to get some candy, and all would be back to normal.

“It’s fine, that’ll be two seventy-five.”

I don’t think it worked that way, now.

I reached for my wallet, feeling rather defeated as I felt her fingers brush against mine. She barely batted an eye and deposited the cash in the till. “Keep the change,” I said, offering a smile before I was pushed away by the impatient glances of the customer behind me.

Quinn was just about to knock on the door of our friends’ flat when the stairwell door swung open--laughter erupting from the other side.

I’d been dealing with a bit of a kindness hangover. After seeing Harper at The Counter and then spending the afternoon with Quinn, I realized that I was being ridiculous and was probably best of going back to business as usual: being a prat to Harper and hoping she’d do me a favor and be the same in return.

Mille and Harper nearly stumbled out of the stairwell--the elevator was broken and I’d just heard Quinn complain for the entirety of the eight flights up. The last thing I needed was to hear the two of them complain as well.

“Oh, hey!” Quinn smiled at them over her shoulder--completely distracted from her previous task of knocking on the door. “I had no idea you guys were coming, we would have waited for you!”

“You guys are hanging out with Preston and Katie?” Millie’s eyebrows drew together in confusion as Harper offered a polite smile in my direction before looking me up and down.

I placed a hand on Quinn’s back, reassuring myself that I was doing the right thing. “Yeah, Katie and I are in a biology class together,” Quinn explained, her smile still bright on her face.

Sometimes I felt bad for Quinn. I knew that Harper and Millie didn’t exactly love her. Quinn--with everything in her heart--just wanted to be sweet and kind and play nice. But that wasn’t always Harper’s style.

“You’re taking a biology class?” Millie pressed further, Harper stifled a laugh and clamped a hand on Millie’s shoulder--I rolled my eyes and shot Harper narrowed eyes.

“That’s great!” Harper spoke. “We were at Millie’s beforehand, I should have texted you to check if you were coming out tonight.”

I let out a groan--if only to remind all of them that we were still in the hallway and not in Katie and Preston’s living room (where Liam was waiting) with a beer in hand. And on top of that, Harper and Quinn getting along didn’t exactly make my life easy.

Wouldn’t it just be easier if they hated each other? Harper found Quinn to be annoying and immature and rather air-headed--she’d made that plenty clear when she complained to both of our mothers on Family Weekend of our first year. So, you’d think, that would lead Harper and Millie to want to do anything but end up at the same party as us.

But it wasn’t that easy. I wouldn’t have met Quinn if it weren’t for Harper. I wouldn’t get to spend time with Harper if it weren’t for Quinn. Now you see my dilemma.

I nudged Quinn forward, Millie and Harper followed behind us as we rounded the corner in the headed inside the flat. We knew most of the people inside--groups gathered here and there as a game of beer pong occupied the center of the living room.

It was dark inside, save for the light from a plastic disco ball that sat on the kitchen table. Music played through speakers near a TV as I scanned the crowd for familiar faces.

Millie hugged a friend from our theatre group beside me dragged me towards the kitchen to greet her friends from the Positive Psychology club.

And that’s how the night seemed to go. I followed around Quinn and chatted with friends about their summer--and for the life of me, I couldn’t help but steal glances at the girl with blonde hair and a big enough attitude for all 50 states.

I saw her with Niall, I saw her laugh with Millie and take a selfie with Katie. I felt Quinn’s arms wrap around my waist with a sleepy look in her eyes after the I won a game of pong with Liam. So when she started to nuzzle into me and I could smell her flowery perfume, I took it as my cue to kiss her forehead and suggest we head out.

“You have to tell Harper we’re leaving,” she said quickly, her big eyes staring up at me as if her life depended on telling my childhood friend that we were headed out. I sighed, not bothering to put up a fight as I scanned the room.

When I couldn’t find her in the kitchen and she wasn’t in the bathroom, Millie pointed to a closed door--one to the bedroom of Niall Horan.

He was on the footy team with my roommate. He had a knack for getting laid and somehow never seemed to find Harper to be as loud and boisterous as she was. Rumor had it he’d slept with 13 girls in our first year alone, but I knew for a fact that Harper hadn’t been one of them. But that only seemed to make him want her more. In fact, since the day we stepped foot on campus, he seemed to be eager to make her his conquest.

He’d asked me about her during our first week on campus when he found out that I lived with his teammate. Asked me to invite her to their first home match and introduce him. When I got nervous and stumbled over my words while looking for a good reason to never let that happen--I may or may not have told him that Harper had done her fair share of sleeping around.

Sure, she’d flirt with guys and she’d had her fair share of interested suitors, but I was quite positive that Harper Coleman had never slept with anyone. Which, ironically, I found endearing and adorable and somehow extremely attractive.

When I processed what a closed door could mean and pushed it open to find them alone, standing awfully close and with little light in the room except for a lamp on the bedside table--the words kind of just poured out of me. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the time of night--or maybe it was just the fact that I was stifling feelings for my hometown neighbor.

“What the fuck?”

“Can I help you?” She shot back quickly, her eyebrows knit together as she stared at me intently. Niall--who’d already taken a step back from her--seemed to look between us as if he had no clue what was going on. I couldn’t blame him.

The heat in my chest was warmer than before--the urge to throttle Niall seemed to rise and fall as I took a deep breath, clearing my throat and licking at my dry lips.

Was something happening? Had I ruined it? Why did I care and what did it mean if I did?

I didn’t have time to think that all through, because before I knew it, Harper stuck her head out towards me, urging me to respond and squash the awkward silence that now filled Niall Horan’s messy bedroom.

I swallowed and opened my mouth to speak--hoping I didn’t blow it and say something I’d regret later. “Quinn wanted me to tell you we were leaving.”

Instead of waiting for a response--instead of apologizing for barging in or interrupting or whatever it was that I’d done, I turned and slammed the door behind me.

And when I found Quinn near the front door and laced my fingers through hers, I realized that my walk home would be laced with a feeling I wasn’t all that used to in regards to Harper Coleman and her sexual endeavors: jealousy.

#ss #seed and spark #harry styles #harper coleman #mc #harry styles fiction #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fics #harry styles series #harry styles fanfic au #harry styles au #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction

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guernsey-island · 5 years ago

Note

Please answer 1-98 >:3

Weird asks that say a lot

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? water bottles 2. chocolate bars or lollipops? chocolate bars 3. bubblegum or cotton candy? cotton candy, though I don't like either very much 4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? I don't know 5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? plastic cups??? 6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? sportswear I guess 7. earbuds or headphones? I only have earbuds right now, but I like both 8. movies or tv shows? tv shows, but that doesn't mean I don't like movies too 9. favorite smell in the summer? the ocean 10. game you were best at in p.e.? capture the flag 11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? whatever I can find 12. name of your favorite playlist? "Good Songs :D" 13. lanyard or key ring? key ring 14. favorite non-chocolate candy? I don't particularly like any non-chocolate candy. Too artificial and sweet :/ 15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes 16. most comfortable position to sit in? leaning back and with my legs out 17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? white converse 18. ideal weather? raining or a mild temperature like 80 degrees F paired with high humidity 19. sleeping position? I fall asleep on my side and wake up on my back 20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? Google docs heheh 21. obsession from childhood? I was one of those warrior cats kids (no, I didn't pretend to be warrior cats at recess) 22. role model? Snickers 23. strange habits? popping my back, checking sunset/sunrise times 24. favorite crystal? all crystals are great 25. first song you remember hearing? Counting Stars by OneRepublic 26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? hiking 27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? reading 28. five songs to describe you? Modern Loneliness- Lauv // Scared of Heights- Loving Caliber // backpack- slchld // By Now- Will Jay // Come True- khai dreams, Forrest., Biskwiq 29. best way to bond with you? don't annoy me 30. places that you find sacred? the beach when no one is there or deep in the mountains 31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 32. top five favorite vines? road work ahead, jared 19, damn daniel, 2 bros chillin in a hot tub, x files theme 33. most used phrase in your phone? probably >:3 34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? that spotify ad about peter and jumping/skipping rope. IF you knew what an 8track tape was!! 35. average time you fall asleep? ~2:30am 36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? the pepe the frog memes 37. suitcase or duffel bag? suitcase 38. lemonade or tea? lemonade but tea is also superb 39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? lemon cake bc I've never had lemon meringue pie 40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? I don't really remember. Let's go with Mr. Rightmyer and Mr. Mikow in general (ig matrix_multiplication). or maybe the time Sami put a lamp on her head and pretended to be Shaggy 41. last person you texted? Snickers 42. jacket pockets or pants pockets? jacket pockets 43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? hoodie 44. favorite scent for soap? hmmm something tropical 45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? sci-fi 46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? clothing 47. favorite type of cheese? swiss or colby jack or parmigiano-reggiano 48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? peaches bc they're the best fruit 49. what saying or quote do you live by? "you become what you think about" "success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal"- Earl Nightingale "the opposite of courage is not cowardice, it is conformity" "sanity and happiness are an impossible combination"- Mark Twain "If you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading"- Lao Tzu "failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough" - Og Mandino 50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? let's go with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TilHylia7rE and more recently, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voncdcV648g 51. current stresses? upcoming exams, writing essays 52. favorite font? My current favorites are Frank Ruhl Libre, Overlock, and Rajdhani 53. what is the current state of your hands? good, though I perpetually have a bump on one finger from writing too much 54. what did you learn from your first job? job?? what job? 55. favorite fairy tale? three little pigs 56. favorite tradition? sleeping 57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? I don't know 58. four talents you’re proud of having? Freestyling (ground moves and juggling), shooting knuckleballs, popping my back really well, running a 5-6 minute mile 59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? I don’t know what my catchphrase would be 60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? a shonen where the protagonist is trying to survive in a crazy world, become the best at something, or master some special power (examples: tower of god or solo leveling if it was an anime) OR something with a mafia 61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? "Well, if you only knew how little I really know about the things that matter"- Elio in cmbyn the movie (think about this quote all the time) "Let us cultivate our garden"-Candide in Candide by Voltaire “The bird fights its way out of the egg. The egg is the world. Who would be born must first destroy a world. The bird flies to God. That God's name is Abraxas.”- Sinclair in Demian by Hermann Hesse “I wanted only to live in accord with the promptings which came from my true self. Why was that so very difficult?”- Sinclair in Demain by Hermann Hesse “Know yourself and go in swinging.”- More than this by Patrick Ness “Just leave me alone. I’m not myself. I’m falling apart, and I don’t want you here.”- Charlie in Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes Tons of quotes and references from Arthur, httyd, and other media 62. seven characters you relate to? Lance (vld), zuko (atla), okonkwo (things fall apart), nwoye (things fall apart), bokuto (haikyuu), sinclair (demian), hiccup (httyd) 63. five songs that would play in your club? Wednesday Girl- Elijah Who, Aso, Peachy!, Kudasaibeats, slchld // Way Back Home- SHAUN, Conor Maynard, Sam Feldt // Let Me Down Slow (Acoustic)- New Hope Club // Crush Culture- Conan Gray // All Night Long- TAEYEON, LUCAS 64. favorite website from your childhood? animal jam 65. any permanent scars? I have a ton of scars on my legs and knees. I ran into a cart at staples once and have a big scar from that. I have a few scars on my elbows too 66. favorite flower(s)? columbine (CO state flower) 67. good luck charms? none 68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? I have no idea 69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? I don’t know 70. left or right handed? right 71. least favorite pattern? cheetah or zebra print 72. worst subject? hmmm biology but only bc I don't put in the effort 73. favorite weird flavor combo? I don't know. I like food 74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I don't think I've experienced enough pain to accurately answer this question. I've only taken ibuprofen once (when I got my wisdom teeth taken out), but I didn't think it was that necessary to take 75. when did you lose your first tooth? probably when I was six 76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? scalloped potatoes, hash browns, Spanish tortillas, potato salad, mashed potatoes 77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? aloe vera 78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? sushi from a grocery store 79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? school ID 80. earth tones or jewel tones? earth tones 81. fireflies or lightning bugs? they're called fireflies 82. pc or console? pc 83. writing or drawing? writing 84. podcasts or talk radio? podcasts 84. barbie or polly pocket? no 85. fairy tales or mythology? mythology 86. cookies or cupcakes? cookies 87. your greatest fear? Accidentally biting off my tongue and then choking on it, seeing things in mirrors, being stabbed with a knife as I enter a hotel elevator, receiving emails 88. your greatest wish? Happiness??? I don’t know 89. who would you put before everyone else? Snickers 90. luckiest mistake? I don't know 91. boxes or bags? boxes 92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? sunlight 93. nicknames? let's not talk abt that,,, 94. favorite season? spring or summer 95. favorite app on your phone? google play books, goodreads, tumblr, kakaotalk, spotify, google keep 96. desktop background? it's a slideshow. the background at the moment is a photo of Manarola, Italy taken by Peter Hegedus. It's one of my favorite photographs of all time 97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? three not including 911 (so four) 98. favorite historical era? 1300s in the Mongol empire or around when the spice trade was at its peak, 1800s in America during westward expansion, 1920s, ancient egypt, Harlem Renaissance

#ask #queen-defender-on-ice

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sturdy-nerdy-stitchery · 5 years ago

Text

Another sale!

October is my favorite month! My birthday is on the 15th of October? My wedding anniversary is on October 7th, it's Halloween on the 31st, it's national Filipino American history month.. free candy on Halloween, an excuse to dress up... It's fall!

(my apologies if this gets a little too long to read because I'm on mobile and I have no idea where the "read more/see more" option is and if you continue reading, there's a reason that I haven't made it to my laptop)

And so, I am going to run another 20% off self my store just like last month and I'm going to run it for 31 days oh, so it's going to run until the first week or so of November.

Because! I haven't had time to set up a coupon code because I can't figure out where the hell it is on my Etsy mobile app and until I can find it, I may have to set up a coupon via my laptop but:

My mother-in-law is visiting this entire week and isn't leaving until Sunday. She has been overworking me every day this week because we're moving the first week of November and she is pushing really hard to make sure we get a lot of packing done. She did all of this last year when she moved from Illinois to Colorado and so she doesn't want us to have to go through all the stress like she did. She insists that I don't understand this kind of moving stress and how incredibly hard and stressful it is.

And I wish I had the balls to stand up to her and tell her "lady, I live with this little demon called anxiety disorder. it makes even the little tiniest stresses out to be really big monstrous stresses. because of this, I eat stress for breakfast, with a side of stress, and an extra helping of a bowl of stress and milk. I sweat stress from my pores everyday... Stress is second nature to me. So trust me, I think I can handle this despite what you say"

And I haven't had one single second since Sunday to sit at my laptop at all. I'm not even kidding. I haven't opened it even once. So until she leaves, or I can find even 5 minutes to sit down at my laptop if she lets me...

My 20% off sale will have to wait until I can either figure out how to do it on mobile or I can find time to get to my laptop.

So, have patience everyone! I will run a sale as soon as I can get the sail up and running! And then, maybe! If you guys are good and behave yourselves and do good deeds and cross-stitch everyday and be good people and be adorable little gems... I might run a moving sale in November and continue my 20% off.

So remember... You could find links to my Etsy store on my Tumblr page in various spots... And I still send out coupons to people who leave things in their cart or add a listing as a favorite.

But either way, I am so super stressed and burnt out already and she's only been here since Sunday. The only reason I'm able to write this post or post anything to my blog is because I have to go babysitting for 2 hours every morning and that's pretty much longest break that I get because once I get home, she puts me straight to work and will not allow any breaks because we have so much to get done and so little time and time is a commodity we can't afford to waste.

Sometimes, I lie and say that I have to take a bathroom break just so that I can get 10 or 15 minutes to myself before I go nuts. I just make sure to flush the toilet every few minutes just to keep up appearances LOL.

Aside from this post, I'm going to try not to post too much whining and complaining because this blog is all about Stitch love... And I want to try and keep things upbeat and happy because knitting and cross stitching make me happy and I want you guys to be happy too!

#etsy sale #etsy #etsy store #knitting #cross stitching #cross stitch patterns #moving #stress #anxiety #personal post

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netfelixnchill · 6 years ago

Text

Fun// Lee Felix

Genre: Collage! Friends to lovers!

Pairing: Felix x Reader

Length: 2.2k

Summary:(inspired by Troye Sivan’s Fun) “Lets go have fun, you and me in the old Jeep.” The dark haired boy suggests. “I like that idea.” You say as you both smile.

You get to class right as the bell rings. It’s the third time this week that you’ve almost been late.

“Almost late again miss y/n.” Your teacher tells you. “If your late again next time, you’re staying after class to grade my tests.” He teased.

You were one of his favorites and you knew he always joked around with you when you were late.

You take your seat. “That’s the third time this week y/n. Why are you always almost late?” The boy next to you asked.

“It’s just stressed. It’s no big deal. Besides, Mr. Kim loves me. I’m one of his favorites.” You tell the boy.

“Yeah whatever.” He said.

“Ok class. This weeks assignment will be done in desk partners. You have to produce a song. For some it will be easier than it will for others but I believe that you all can do well. You have all of this week in class to discuss and work on it but I suggest to meet outside of class to work on it too. Brainstorming will begin... now.” Your teacher explained.

You turned to the boy next to you. “What should the song be about?”

“No clue. Give me your notebook.” He asks.

“Why? You have your own.” You protest.

“Yeah but you have better ideas.” He said.

“Whatever.”

You were cautious of what he read in your notebook because you wrote down all of your feelings in it. When you saw that he was about to turn to the next page you stopped him and asked what he thought about a line on the page he was still on.

“Wait, what about this...” you start to sing a small melody that you had in your head “Don’t you wanna see the world, boy?” You suggest.

“Yeah, that has a good tone to it. I like it.” He said smiling.

What you didn’t know about Felix is that he loved hearing you sing. It always made him happy.

“Class is about to end, wanna meet up after school at the cafe to work some more on it?” You ask him.

“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll try to work on it in my next class too.” He says.

“Felix,,, focus on what you’re doing in that class first ok? We have all week to work on this song.” You tell him.

“Yeah yeah whatever.” He says ignoring your statement, “see ya Y/n.” He says waving.

You make your way to the library since you had no other classes that day. You went to find a table and took out your laptop. You opened the music maker app and plugged your headphones in and started making the beat. It was turning out quite well and you were proud of that.

Next thing you knew someone was leaning in listening to the music you were making. You take on headphone off so that the person could hear.

“How does it sound so far?” You ask.

“It sounds really good actually.” The boy said laughing a little.

“Glad you think so Felix.”

“Yeah. So are we gonna go to the cafe now?”

“Yup.”

—-

You and Felix finally made it to the cafe. He went to order two drinks while you got a table. You found an empty table by a window.

You took a seat and waited for Felix to join you. He handed you your iced coffee and you guys started brainstorming again. Next thing you knew you guys were actually almost done with the song. You had all the lyrics written down and the melody.

“We got a lot of work done today. I didn’t think we would finish this early.” You say.

“I didn’t either.” He agrees.

“Come over to my place tomorrow after school so we can record the lyrics ok?” You suggest.

“Sounds good. I won’t find you in the library again will I?” He asks giving you a slight smirk.

“No sir. I will be recording my own lines at that time. So just come over right after your last class ok?”

“Alright. I’ll see ya tomorrow y/n.” Felix says waving and giving you a sweet smile.

That boy was doin something to you and you didn’t know what. But you actually did. You knew exactly what he was doing,,, he was making you fall in love with him. As much as you hated it, you were falling for the dark haired boy.

—-

It was the next day. You finally got to class on time, even early actually. You sat down at your desk for a good 15 minutes until the other students came in.

“Where is he?” You thought. “Felix is never late,,,”

Just as you were thinking about that, he stumbled through the door. Everyone in the room was shocked. Even you... even your teacher was shook™️. Everyone stared at Felix. Their eyes followed him to his seat.

“Why is everyone looking at me?” He asked you.

“Hmm I wonder why? Maybe because YOU HAVE PLATINUM BLONDE HAIR?????” You whisper-yelled.

“Oh yeah... I forgot I did that haha.” He said chuckling a little.

During the entire class period you two just talked about whatever. You both agreed that Felix would come over to your place to record the lyrics of the song.

It had only been two days and you guys where already almost done with the project. During the class period Felix kept on getting compliments from everyone in the class.

Soon enough class ended and when you two walked into the hall way everyone stopped and stared at him. He constantly got compliments from everyone. You felt a little jealous and left out because you weren’t the most popular at school. Aside from that you two made it out of the school and towards your car.

“That was a lot of people complimenting you.” You said.

“Yeah,, I kinda don’t like it.” He said.

“What do you mean kinda?”

“I mean like,, the attention is nice but there’s too much of it.” He explained.

“Yeah I get it.” You said starting the car.

—-

You two show up at your apartment and started the recording. You two messed around a little bit but got the work done over all.

—-

When you two finished you decided to order some pizza and just relax seeing as it was only Wednesday and you already finished the song. You both expected to finish fast though. You were both the top students in the class.

“Is pepperoni ok?” You ask Felix.

“Yeah. Oh! Get some chicken wings too!!” He said excitedly.

“Alright. Can I also add some chicken wings? Yes that’ll be all. Thank you.” You hang up.

“What should we watch?” You ask Felix.

“Let’s watch Frozen!”

“Not again... I cant stand you singing along and putting ‘mate’ after every sentence!!!!”

“Too bad.” He said grabbing the remote with a cheeky smile.

Ding dong

“PIZZAS HERE!” You both exclaim rushing off the couch like maniacs trying to get to the door.

“Hi...” you say out of breath. “Oh,, Hyunjin it’s you, I didn’t know that you were still on your shift.” You say taking the pizza from the boy.

“I was just finishing up and my boss asked if I wanted to deliver the pizza to you.” He explained. “It’ll be 17.46 by the way.”

“Here.” You handed him a 20 dollar bill.

“Why can’t I get more???” He asked pouting.

“Because I don’t wanna. Besides I gave you 30 last time.”

“But you love me.”

“I may love you but not that much.”

“Alright enough with the sappy lovey dovey flirting stuff. Can we eat already??” Felix said with a hint of jealousy but no one noticed.

Both you and Hyunjin stopped talking and looked at each other then back at Felix. You both bursted into laughter. Felix turned a little red and was very confused.

“Felix,, do you thing we’re dating or something?” You ask him.

“I mean,, you guys act like it so kinda...”

You and Hyunjin kept laughing soon falling to the ground.

“Why do you guys keep laughing?” Felix asked being very confused.

“Felix,” you say between laughs. “He’s my cousin.” You say continuing to laugh. (we ain’t in alabama y’all)

“Don’t worry we get it a lot though. It’s nothing new but it sure is hilarious every time someone asks us.” Hyunjin explained laughter subsiding.

“Alright well I’m gonna go. See ya next week Chubbs.” Hyunjin said patting your hair.

“What ever fatty.” You said closing the door.

“Chubbs? Fatty? What??” Felix asked being the most confused he’s ever been.

“We’ve been calling each other that since we could talk honestly.” You say. “Anyways,, don’t we have a movie to get to??”

“Yeah.” He said giving you a little smile.

You and Felix both sat on your couch with pizza the pizza while watching Finding Nemo. Surprisingly it was both of your guys’ favorite movie along with its sequel, Finding Dory.

After the two of you finished watching both of the movies Felix had a crazy idea.

“Hey y/n, this might sound crazy but... let’s go have some fun. Just you and me in my old Jeep.”

“I like that idea.” You said to him smiling.

You both grabbed your jackets and shoes and headed out the door.

—-

You made your way to Felix’s Jeep. You both put on some up beat music and started singing along... loudly too. But you guys were having fun. This was the most fun you’ve had all year and you weren’t mad about it. In fact you were glad that you were out of the house, and especially with someone who you trusted most.

After a while you guys kept cracking really bad jokes laughing way too hard at them but you didn’t care. Soon enough you guys arrived at a beach. It was pretty nice. It wasn’t a popular beach so there were maybe 3 other people there but spread apart a lot. When you got out of the car you immediately sprinted to the sand. Kicking your shoes off behind you, you ran towards the water. Soon after Felix follows you in. You both splash water at each other while laughing.

“STOP!! YOURE GETTING ME WET!”

“YOU WERE THE ONE WHO JUMPED IN THE WATER Y/N! YOURE ALREADY WET!”

“Toché”

“Hey y/n.”

“Hmm”

“Why couldn’t the pirate recite the alphabet?”

“Uhhhh because he kept saying argh?”

“No.. because he kept getting lost at c (sea)”

“HHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA HOLY SHIT THATS A KNEE SLAPPER!!” You say slapping your knee.

Felix found that absolutely hilarious. He kept laughing until he was almost drowning in the shallow water.

Felix saw a really good wave behind you so he did the unexpected. He picked you up over his shoulder and started towards the wave. It wasn’t too big of a wave but it was a decent size.

Next thing you know you both were under the water. You come back up for air while laughing and screaming at him.

“WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?!?!”

“You look cute when you get surprised.” He said.

You were shocked. No one had ever called you cute. You both decide to get out of the water and watch the rest of the sunset. You sat with a towel wrapped around you while sitting on a rock. You enjoyed the scenery.

You felt a pair of eyes on you so you turned towards Felix and saw him staring at you. He gave you a warm smile while brushing a piece of hair out of your face. You blushed at his action. He noticed your blush and chuckled. He faced the sunset. The sun was hitting him perfectly. You saw all of the individual freckles on his face while the sun also made all of his features sharp and defined. You had came to he conclusion that you were really falling for him. And hard.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I tell you something?”

“You can tell me anything Felix. You’re my best friend.”

It hurt a little bit saying that.

“Ok so here goes nothing... So there’s this girl I like.. she’s beautiful, crazy talented and honestly one of the best people that has ever been in my life.”

Your heart broke a little while he said this but you kept listening to what he had to say.

“I’ve been spending more time with her lately and I’ve gotten to know a whole new part of her. I really really REALLY like her, but I don’t know how to ask her out.”

You were sad knowing he liked someone else but you still helped him.

“Hmm well maybe you should just ask her if she wants to go out sometime. I mean if someone were to ask me out I wouldn’t want some huge proposal. I wish you the best of luck asking her out. Whoever she is will be lucky to have someone like you.”

“Well I don’t exactly know if she likes me back.” He said rubbing the back of his neck. “So here goes nothing.”

You were confused at where he was going with this.

“Y/n... will you go out with me?” He asked giving a shy smile.

You didn’t know how to respond.(Y/n.exe has stopped working.)

“Wait... what??” You ask confused.

“Will you go out with me?”

“Are you serious??”

“Yeah?”

“Felix... I’d love to go out with you.” You said hugging him tightly. You felt safe and secure in his arms and he loved the feeling of having you in his arms. It all felt so... perfect.

The End

A/N: i know it’s really bad i did this in like an hour sksksk. i hope you liked it nonetheless

#stray kids #stray kids chan #stray kids changbin #stray kids felix #stray kids hyunjin #stray kids jeongin #stray kids jisung #stray kids minho #stray kids seungmin #stray kids woojin #stray kida reaction #stray kids imagine #stray kids x reader

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the-reverse-mermaid · 5 years ago

Note

1 through 98

oh? oh???

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you? energetic

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

7. earbuds or headphones?

8. movies or tv shows?

9. favorite smell in the summer? flowers

10. game you were best at in p.e.? four square

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day? eggs in some form, but it’s my breakfast AND lunch because i get home form work around 11:30am, and I’m generally not hungry at 4:30am when I leave, so.

12. name of your favorite playlist? “Current favs”

13. lanyard or key ring?

14. favorite non-chocolate candy? hot tomales tied with sour gummy worms

15. favorite book you read as a school assignment? A Tale of Two Cities

16. most comfortable position to sit in? tummy-down on the floor

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes? VERY ratty blue converse

18. ideal weather? sunny and windy

19. sleeping position? on left side/ on back/ sometimes on tummy

20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?

21. obsession from childhood? Danny Phantom & mermaids

22. role model? Joan of Arc, and lotsa others

23. strange habits? fingerspelling, brushing my teeth for like 15 min

24. favorite crystal? quartz

25. first song you remember hearing? the lullaby that came out of my stuffed rabbit

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather? swim/ nap

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather? go on walks/ nap

28. five songs to describe you? Self Portrait by Stephanie Smith, Glorious by David Archuleta, Shatter Me by Lindsay Stirling, My, Myself and Time by Demi Lovato, and Paper Tigers by Owl City

29. best way to bond with you? let me talk about my favorite things

30. places that you find sacred? LDS temples, esp the Orlando temple

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? My spider-man hoodie and sweats

32. top five favorite vines? I don’t know any vines…(sweats)

33. most used phrase in your phone? K

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head? none

35. average time you fall asleep? Like how long it takes to fall asleep? If it’s a good night, like 10 min; if it’s a bad night, several hours

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing? oh gosh. I remember where I was when I heard the term meme for the first time. It was about rage comics, I think it was the freaking troll face in like, 2011.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

38. lemonade or tea?

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? One time I came to class a few minutes late and nobody was there and the whiteboard said “class is longboarding outside” and i was really confused…walked back out of the room, saw my whole class down the hall laughing at me…It was April Fool’s Day.

41. last person you texted? my sister and brother in law, with whom i have a text conversation solely to send them the weirdest images i can find

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

44. favorite scent for soap? Christmas tree scent

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in? sweats and t-shirt tho i often wake up to find i have stripped in the night

47. favorite type of cheese? mozzarella

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be? Apple

49. what saying or quote do you live by? decisions determine destiny

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have? it’s called the boob game and it’s what my family plays on car trips and i invented it and for some reason it was/is hilarious despite it’s immaturity; you just look around at billboards and signs and replace one word with the word ‘boob’

51. current stresses? i gotta grade some papers for my TA job and I’m procrastinating it

52. favorite font? comic sans

53. what is the current state of your hands? clipped unpainted nails (the way i like); probably need some lotion

54. what did you learn from your first job? money is nice

55. favorite fairy tale? The Boy Who Drew Cats

56. favorite tradition? decorating cookies at Christmas

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? ED, rejection from animation program, LDS missionary service

58. four talents you’re proud of having? drawing, writing essays, writing stories, listening

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? listen up buddy

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? mermaids/mythical creatures

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? From The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness: “In this world of numbness and information overload, the ability to feel is a rare gift indeed”

62. seven characters you relate to? Hiccup (HTTYD), Kiki (Kiki’s Delivery Service), Ned (SM:Hoco), Kit (Unicorn Store), Aunt Cass (BH6), Danny (DP)

63. five songs that would play in your club? It would be an Owl City only club

64. favorite website from your childhood? neopets, baby

65. any permanent scars? In my left armpit I have a long scar from a heart surgery when I was a baby

66. favorite flower(s)? I adore the smell of daffodils

67. good luck charms? a leaf necklace given to me by a friend

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? i hate tootsie rolls

69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? human DNA and banana DNA is 50% identical

70. left or right handed? right

71. least favorite pattern? don’t have a least fav

72. worst subject? statistics

73. favorite weird flavor combo? this is more texture than flavor, but i like eating cake in a bowl of milk

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? 6

75. when did you lose your first tooth? in childhood (i don’t remember)

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill? ur asking me? idk, i can’t grow stuff

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

82. pc or console?

83. writing or drawing?

84. podcasts or talk radio?

84. barbie or polly pocket?

85. fairy tales or mythology?

86. cookies or cupcakes?

87. your greatest fear? hopelessness

88. your greatest wish? happiness

89. who would you put before everyone else? my nephew and niece

90. luckiest mistake? tumblr…lucky bc of the homies

91. boxes or bags?

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

93. nicknames? Bean/Beanie, Spoons, Good Cop

94. favorite season? Spring

95. favorite app on your phone? whichever one holds my current obsession

96. desktop background? President Nelson on a swing (Russel M Nelson is the current prophet of the Church and he’s an adorable old man who i love)

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized? Two, mine and my mom’s

98. favorite historical era? I don’t think I have one

#holy crap this was exhausting u owe me a reply anon #long post

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miss-m-winks · 5 years ago

Text

Instead of a summary of my art from each month of 2019 I’ve compiled a summary of my art from every year of this decade! Finding some of that old art was incredibly difficult.

And making an exact image description of all this would be too long to write or read so I’m going to do my best to describe all this in a concise and interesting way.

2010: I was a sophomore in high school, so about 15 years old. These two drawings are in pencil and colored pencil, one of some random girl character wearing brightly colored clothes and a rainbow shawl thing (??) walking on clouds it seems. No idea what that was meant to be about. The other is a reference for my old oc, the very first one I ever had, based on myself. She looks human but with unicorn ears and a horn, plus wings and a tail. I hadn’t figured out animal legs yet either so she has perfectly normal human legs that just end in hooves.

2011: still mostly pencil, colored pencil, I don’t remember if I had a laptop yet. I would have been 16 years old at this time. I picked a self portrait here, a coloreddrawing of myself in black concert dress playing the trumpet because I got to do a solo in jazz band and I was very happy about it. The other art I picked for this year is digital but in the old ms paint program (you know before it tried to be fancy with a few more realistic tools and was only pixel art tools) I do believe I was still using the family computer for this, with a mouse. I was really creative with the tools. It’s my unicorn girl oc again, flying through the sky. I included a progress image, showing how I made it. I’m so glad I saved the steps and posted them it’s really cool to see my old art process for that.

2012: 17 years old, and I think I finally had a laptop with a good art program on it by this time but I still did mostly traditional art, lots of colored pencil work. I found this old experimental art I did that year, a colored pencil drawing of a girl sitting on a tree branch, but the background is all digital, a painting of a fantasy night sky with three moons. It actually looks kinda good, the edges of the colored pencil drawing are crisp and smooth and the digital background doesn’t look out of place. I mean the shading is a bit of a mess and I used white clouds on a black night sky which is a bit funny looking but it isn’t that bad. The other image is a colored pencil drawing that was really ambitious for me at the time. I had this cool idea to draw Death with sunset colored wings, all poetic and stuff. Why did I also draw death with blue skin and horns? I don’t know. Why is death sitting on an ambiguous brown cliff overlooking a cemetery? Well I guess I just was having trouble finding any other way to make a nice background and have death above a cemetery. I should redo this one, it’s a really good concept.

2013: my last year of high school, 18 years old. I was doing digital art a lot more often this year and expanding the diversity of my ocs. One of these images is a digital drawing of two of my first characters of color, two male black elves (black as in African-based) smoochin. My first black oc was also my first queer oc, jayvyn. A gay elf. There are a lot of issues with the way I originally conceptualized his story but even when I was thinking he was the only queer person in his town and there was homophobia towards him (I was only just dipping my toes outside the mindset I grew up in) I gave him a whole massive group of friends (a boys' lacrosse team he was on don’t ask me why lacrosse I have no idea I don’t even know much about lacrosse it was a weird choice) and those friends were extremely loyal and supportive of him, even to the point of going on dates with him just to make him happy. and again, he was the only gay character I had so I was writing a bunch of straight dudes taking their one gay friend on dates in a town full of people who were at least vaguely homophobic, I definitely had a lot of growing to do in my writing and my own mindset but I’m kinda proud of myself for doing that? I could have done so much worse with my first queer oc and my first real step into characters of color, but I made the whole story about this tight knit group of boys who were all such close loving friends. (Gee I wonder if this had anything to do with my being ace and not knowing it yet). Oh yeah, the other image is also there, that one is from a photoshop class I took. We had a three-way folding mirrors the bathroom at the time so I put on a hoodie, turned out the bathroom lights, folded the mirrors in and shoved my face into the gap and then took a photo with the flash while holding my mouth open in a silent scream. The result is this really cool series of screaming faces at different angles, which I then ran through a few filters and major contrast adjustment. Could be an edgy generic horror movie cover lol

2014: 19 years old, and I just finished a year of community college and then left on a church mission for 18 months. I probably should have used some of my first college art class drawings for this year's summary but I was using my old deviantart gallery to collect these old images so I forgot I had all that college art too. These two digital images are pretty dynamic in different ways. Dynamic lighting and dark skin, an experiment I was doing to figure out lighting better for my characters of color. That’s Jayvyn again I think, with lightning shooting out of his hand because I sure love making characters with lightning powers. The other is dynamic in the posing and I’m still incredibly happy with it, it’s a drawing of a grey centaur from behind, bucking in panic because a kitten pounced on its foot. Definitely still one of the best centaur drawings I have ever made.

2015: 20 years old, I was actually on my church mission for this entire year so finding art from that year was very very tricky. One is just a small pencil drawing on another oc, Ronan with his cool mechanical leg playing fiddle I guess? I was doing a lot of synesthesia doodles that year so there are lots of swirly lines coming off the fiddle. I was also surprised to find this really neat digital art I made of Ravio from link between worlds, I almost forgot I did find a way to make digital art on my mission (no access to my laptop, limited apps we were allowed to use, super limited access to normal computers except for emails and such, always busy doing important stuff) I discovered the drawing function in the iPad notes app and every time I had time I would use it until I figured out how to make it work for me, using only my fingers, the limited color palette options, and this marker tool that had one size and only multiplied (except when using white) this is definitely one of the best ones, but I don’t know where the rest went. I had a lot. I was stunned to find this because it really looks like I could have done it on a laptop, can’t believe I forgot I did that.

2016: 21 years old. Had to get used to a laptop again. Also I created my current main oc Morianten during my church mission so here I have the very first full body digital art of him! I’ve definitely changed his anatomy a lot since then, made him much more bird like. Kinda funny to look at this old one and see just how differently I draw him now, only three years later. I also have here a digital painting of some other members of morianten's adoptive family, his dad and little brother having a father son race in nice racing wheelchairs. I still struggle with proportions when I draw characters in wheelchairs.

2017: 22 years old, and back in college. I really had a focus on figure drawing that year, I was back in college art classes and I found posespace.com which is just full of professionally shot art model photos. I’ve got one digital figure drawing of my oc Talib, another practice in lighting on dark skin. The other image is a charcoal drawing of my oc Parva, I think I did that one in a 30 minute time frame where I was taking pictures at different points to show my process but I’ve lost the process images.

2018: 23 years old, and really getting into color depth with my digital art. I found a really old pencil drawing of a dynamic dancing scene and redid it as a digital painting with extreme colored lighting dynamics and new characters. I also got super into mermay so I’ve included one of my favorites, a rainbow trout gal and her elf girlfriend having a chat after a nice swim. I’m super proud of the colors and proportions here, and the shading is pretty great too.

And then it’s 2019! This year! I’m 24! For this one I used three images instead of two, all digital. My ocs Talib and Kouto as persephone and hades in a really quick painting I did but the colors and lighting are intense and fun. No outlines painting of Morianten with some pretty intense lightning lighting. That one took ages and I’m still not entirely pleased with the way I drew his face there but I’m proud of it. And I never actually posted this last one, it’s a new oc created exclusively for the DC superheroes au I dabbled in with @askmissbernadette, a young hero called Lion riding a skateboard in a dark city with a long coat on because that’s a fun way to replace the common superhero cape design.

Overall, it was really fun to go through my art for the entire decade and see how much it’s changed over time. And to see how much my characters have changed. Hope 2020 is a good year, hope the 20s in general are good. Here’s to another 10 years of change and progress!

#winks art #accessible art #image description #winks ocs #decade art summary #long post

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realstraykids · 6 years ago

Photo

One of the most frequent asks I get is “how do you make your gifs?” Previously I had just linked my FAQ where I have some resources on how to gif listed, but I figured to (hopefully) stop receiving the same ask over and over, I’d just make a tutorial on how I personally gif!

* Please note that everyone has different giffing styles and settings preferences, so the following is just how I make my gifs. Other people are likely to do things differently!

This post will be a comprehensive guide that includes details about DOWNLOADING VIDEOS, USING VAPOURSYNTH TO MAKE GIFS, USING PHOTOSHOP TO MAKE GIFS (+ a blurb on TOPAZ), and COLORING.

This post was last updated on July 30, 2020. Keep reading to get started!

DOWNLOADING VIDEOS

I use a number of sources to download videos/get video clips, depending on the origin of the video. In general, I try to gif from videos that are at least 1080p - the higher, the better. It’s almost impossible to make gifs look high quality if they don’t originate from a high quality video! Below are the sources I use:

TS files: kpop24hrs (you need an account), kpopexciting, occasionally torrent links from Google or download links from Twitter (search the group name + date in YYMMDD format + .ts)

Youtube videos: 4K Video Downloader

Vlive videos: Soshistagram

Twitter videos: Twitter Video Downloader

Instagram videos: Dredown

Long videos: If I don’t have the space (or patience) to download a certain video, or if it’s not a downloadable video (e.g. Fanship, paid online concert, etc.) then I screen record with Quicktime Player

(Side question: what’s a TS file? A TS file is essentially a very high quality video that you can find for live show performances and aired music show interviews! TS files are generally 60fps, so they’re how gifmakers can make those super clear and smooth live performance gifs. If a TS file is available for what you want to gif, use it.)

USING VAPOURSYNTH TO MAKE GIFS - OLD AND NEW VERSION

05/2020 update: I have re-installed Vapoursynth to its latest version, so I am including updated instructions/screenshots for both the old version (that I downloaded ~mid-2018) and the latest version.

After I’ve downloaded my video, I use Vapoursynth to crop, resize, sharpen, and denoise gifs. Vapoursynth is like Avisynth in that both programs can be used to crop and resize gifs without losing video quality, but VS has the added capabilities of sharpening and denoise. VS is the reason I don’t need to use Topaz on any of my gifs! You can install Vapoursynth here.

First you drag your video file to the Vapoursynth app installed on your computer. You’ll be prompted to enter a start timestamp in HH:MM:SS format (so if you want the video to start 5 seconds in, you would enter 00:00:05). Then you put the encoding duration also in HH:MM:SS format (if you want the video to be 8 seconds long, you would enter 00:00:08). Generally I’ll look for the exact moment I want to gif and enter the start timestamp 1 second earlier and have the encoding duration be between 3-5 seconds.

After you’ve entered this, a resizer.html window will automatically pop up. Below are screenshots of examples of my normal settings for my performance gif 4sets (ex. here or here) for both the old and new versions of Vapoursynth.

Old version:

New version:

Below is an explanation of the parts:

GIF Size | The gif widths (the first number) recommended for Tumblr:

1 gif per row: 540px

2 gifs per row: 268px

3 gifs per row: 177px

You can use any height, but these are the ones that I tend to use:

1 gif per row: 243px or 300px most frequently, but sometimes I’ll do 220px/201px/400px/450px/540px depending on how large or small I want them

2 gifs per row: 350px

3 gifs per row: 300px, occasionally I’ll do 375px or 400px if it’s a very long video (e.g. some fancams)

Opacity | Don’t worry about this; it just changes how you view the video in the window.

Preprocessor | This refers to how the video will render! Super important because you’ll be given the option of 60 vs. 30 - these numbers refer to frames per second. For live performance gifs, I always use qtgmc 60 fast (slow in theory gives you better quality gifs but I’m far too impatient for that). For all other gifs, I do not use any preprocessing method. A basic rule is that if you’re using a TS file, you should preprocess it because it’ll de-interlace the file. If you’re using an mp4 or mkv or any other file, you don’t need to preprocess.

Extra Sharpening/Sharpening | Pretty self-explanatory. You can move the slider up or down depending on personal preference! I try to keep the sharpening low unless the video quality is especially bad. In the new version, I use FineSharp over VCFreq because I find the latter a little harsh for my tastes.

Denoise/Denoise Filters | Will help remove noise from gifs. In the old version, I almost always used the Light setting unless the video is super grainy, and then I might have chosen Medium instead. In the new version, I use KNLM at its lowest setting. I’ll only bump it up if the original video is quite grainy.

Once you’ve configured all your desired settings, you can copy & paste the output in the resizer.html window to your Vapoursynth editor file and enter the beginning and end frames.

The editor file for the old version:

The editor file for the new version:

To make the gifs in the old version, just save the file and then wait until everything finishes processing! In the new version, you have to go to Script > Encode video, and then under the gif preset click ‘start.’ Wait until it finishes encoding. On my laptop, this takes anywhere from 20 seconds to 3-4 minutes, so sometimes you have to be patient. This is the end of the Vapoursynth portion of gifmaking.

USING PHOTOSHOP TO MAKE GIFS

To create gifs in Photoshop, go to File > Import > Video Frames to Layers and then select your video file/output file from Vapoursynth (output.mov). These are my settings to create the frame animation:

Once your frames have been imported, you can delete frames and add a coloring psd on top of all your layers.

Photoshop is also where you adjust the timing of your gif. In general, these are my settings:

30fps: 0.04/0.05

60fps: 0.02/0.03/occasionally 0.04 if I want it to be super slo-mo

Honestly, just use whatever timing setting that looks good to you! Some prefer faster gifs, others prefer slower, so just do what you like and things will be okay.

Save through File > Export > Save for Web (Legacy) with these settings (you can play around with selective vs. adaptive or diffusion vs. pattern; they all have slightly different looks, but 256 colors is a must):

Make sure your gif is under 8mb - to decrease a gif’s size, I usually delete frames and/or use selective color to increase the black percentage for whites, neutrals, and blacks.

After you save, you’ll have your gif! Below is the same moment giffed in different ways to illustrate how much a difference that file type + giffing style can make. You can tell that the TS file is higher quality and less grainy than the mp4 file, but it really isn’t unless you use Vapoursynth that the gif becomes super sharp and smooth. This is because if you import a TS file straight into Photoshop, it will only import at 30fps because the video itself is interlaced. You have to run it through a de-interlacer (like VS) to actually get a 60fps clip.

With regard to TOPAZ*, I mentioned above that because Vapoursynth has sharpening and denoise functionalities built into the program, I no longer use Topaz. However, if you do not have access to Vapoursynth, then I highly recommend downloading Topaz (download links can be found through quick searches on Tumblr) and using Denoise and Clean to adjust your gifs. A warning: Topaz can take a long time to process and many gifmakers have a love/hate relationship with it, so be prepared for that. The way you apply Topaz is to select all your frames and layers, then do Filter > Convert to Smart Filters. Add the Topaz/smart sharpen adjustments, then Flatten Frames Into Layers. Once that has happened, hit Convert Frames > Flatten Frames to Clips and then Convert Frames > Make Frames from Clips.

COLORING

I get questions a lot on coloring and the truth is that coloring is an art - I by no means consider myself an expert, but I do experiment a fair amount with different settings and layers so I at least have a decent understand of what’s possible when it comes to coloring.

A few tips I’ll give:

Everyone has different coloring preferences! Whatever coloring you like may not be what others like, and that’s okay. Don’t be afraid to experiment!

PSDs are good for learning how to color - download premade ones and look at how other people made them: what layers did they use? in what order did they put them? what blending mode? at what opacity? These are all questions you’ll need to ask yourself when you create your own PSDs. (Remember not to edit others’ PSDs if they do not allow it, and given them due credit when necessary. Also don’t claim as your own!)

Tips to bring out idols’ natural tan/unwhitewash: increase vibrance, decrease brightness + increase contrast, use selective color and decrease cyan and increase black on the reds channel, use a gradient map that goes from a black/dark red to light pink/coral and change the blending mode to soft light or decrease opacity of the layer to 20-40%.

Below are some examples to show how much a difference coloring can make. I’d consider a basic PSD one that has less than 10 coloring layers/doesn’t make much change to the actual coloring of the gif besides lighting adjustments. More complex PSDs generally have 15 or more layers (the ones I used below in have 16-25+) and drastically change the colors in the original gif. You can also mix PSDs too - for a lot of my performance gifs, I’ll first add a basic PSD that increases the contrast of a gif to make the skin glow, and then I’ll add an additional PSD that adjusts colors and other various lighting aspects.

You can see just how much of a difference coloring makes:

Don’t be afraid to experiment with different layers/styles! Everyone has individual preferences for how they like their gifs to look, and in a sense, coloring is the main way you can make gifs “yours.”

FINAL NOTES

Giffing is hard and requires a lot of patience - you definitely won’t be able to make amazing gifs right when you start! Even though I’ve been giffing for close to a year now, I still dislike many of the gifs I make and think that I can definitely improve. Don’t be afraid to reach out to other gifmakers for advice and help - 99% of the time, they’ll be happy to answer your questions!

I have posted a sped-up version of my gifmaking process here that you can also use as a resource!

Please let me know if I’ve missed something, and feel free to reach out if you still have questions. Good luck!

#gif tutorial #this tutorial also took way too long omg #*text #*gif #*mine #ps #*gif tutorial

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