#i did promise twink franz joseph in the first round

[best-habsburg-monarch]

Franz Joseph, Emperor of Austria, King of Hungary, etc. Reigned 1848-1916

Challenge: Talk about his reign without talking about wife a lot (impossible)

from anon:

Dual Monarchy. HELLO.

Constitution! (Italy immediately declared war after but ya know)

Survived assassination attempts

Doesn't lose territory to Prussian unification which is something I guess

Shares 2 names with Hayden

from @minetteskvareninova:

Franz Joseph propaganda (proper):

as much of a poor little meow meow as Joseph II.

also known as Starej Procházka (ask @archduchessofnowhere I promise it's hillarious)

wholesome friendship with Katharina Schratt

was there not for a good time, but a long time certainly, and unlike queen Victoria doesn't even get the dignity of an era named after him!!!

girldad (better not ask about his son)

loved the great god Mars, even though Mars did not love him back, wore uniform all the fucking time, but his actually military record was. well. gotta love a boyfailure.

conservative in principle, but smart enough to know when to fold 'dem (which is why the former monarchy didn't end up like Russia)

from anon:

Anti-Franz Joseph Propaganda: Yes, the sideburns are iconic, but when you are a reigning emperor for 68 years and your signature facial hair is colloquially named after a minor U.S. Civil War general instead, you fumbled the bag.

anti Franz Joseph propaganda: he was an older sibling (derogatory)

from @master-of-the-opera-house:

MARRIED HIS FIRST COUSIN WHEN THEY WERE BEGINNING TO FIGURE OUT THIS HABSBURG INCEST SHIT DON'T WORK

EVEN THO THE POPE SAID NO

Sissi was a babe tho i get him BUT THEN

THEN HE GAVE HER AN STD AND TOOK A MISTRESS

Didn't drink his respect cousin-wife juice apparently

CAUSED CROWN PRINCE RUDOLF TO COMMIT

CLASSIST PIECE OF SHIT didn't allow franz ferdinand to marry sophie chotek

And then literally said "thank God" when he died

Somehow still had the people's support as a poor old man who lost everyone close to him when he either indirectly caused that or just didn't give a shit

a Leo ♌🤢

They wasted such a pretty face and such a snatched waist on such a cunt

Had he stayed alive any longer and he would've been at the negotiating table at the hall of mirrors in 1918 *shivers*

THOROUGHLY UNFUNNY """""desk bound monarch"""""" stringent for protocol """last of the old school monarchs"""" and didn't even cause any nonsense catastrophes that usually accompanies this stick up the arse

68 long monotonous years on the throne then couldn't even make 69 for the joke

Fredrick III, Holy Roman Emperor, reigned 1452-1493

Kicked off the whole tradition of being Holy Roman Emperors