#i did not mean for this to get so long or flowery but oouuuugggghhhh im feeling Emotions

[crave-mp3]

do you ever think about someone and be like wow i would have loved to grow up with you. there was one tiny fork in the road that ended up with us thousands of miles away from each other but meeting you again more than ten years later we still click immediately and remember different things about our time together (how on halloween we got scared and i ran into the street and away from the door and you ran toward it). when you got in the car and said my name i was somehow surprised you remembered it, even though i know i never forgot yours for a second. you've accomplished so much and i'm so incredibly proud of you (and i think i love you again, almost, wildflower seeds buried in frozen ground, the fields of bluebonnets i left behind) you tell me about the heat and the traffic and the shitty ice cream chain you worked at and i remember everything (i remember it better than it was) and i see pictures of you in your blue gown and in a life so near i am standing with you on that stage and i am riding in your passenger seat and i am holding your hand while we get our lips pierced and i am your partner in crime and we are losing teeth and riding bikes and falling in and out of hours on my old dusk street. there were fireflies there. and an old song about the shadows on the moon. and maybe we could have each saved each other a little hurt as we both strained against the molds made by the double Xs on our birth certificates (kiss kiss). who knows, we say, maybe we'll end up at that college in ohio together. it's still on my list, i've got another year. and it would make such a good story. it is so good to see you. it is so good to see you. i should tell you how they all look at me weird when i tell them where i'm from. i should tell you how i made my first friend here because she looked like you (if only a little). i want to show you every single nook and hiding place i hollowed out while you were gone. i want to play clumsy, shitty guitar for the top violist in the state. i want you to tell me about your friends and your school and your mother and the way you cook your eggs. i want to show you my town and all its little dramas and all its little lonely failings and all the ways it is the was the best place i could've spent a childhood. do you see the milky way? we're just far enough from the city here. i want a whole summer to ourselves, the way we would've-should've had it. i want another week to show you around the life i've made while you were away. i want another day. just one more hour. you gave me your school picture on the first day of kindergarten. i still have it.