#i did an easter egg hunt this morning. with 100 tiny plastic ducks

[raineandsky]

#21

The agency has struck where it counts recently. Most of the villains of the city are seeing jail time in the organisation’s specially made holding cells, with only a few left free to roam the streets. Villains have always worked better in numbers though, and they’re sorely lacking in that department at the moment.

The agency’s higher ups couldn’t be more ecstatic at their successes recently, and on the morning of Easter Sunday, the superhero gathers all the on duty heroes into one of the cramped little meeting rooms that’s definitely not big enough for all twelve of them.

“I appreciate you all coming in on what is technically a holiday,” he opens brightly, only met with stark annoyance in response. “Before we all get to work though, we thought we’d make the most of your recent achievements. Since there’s maybe three criminals on the streets right now, we figured we could all take a little breather.” He pulls a map down behind him, sporting the layout of the city’s roads and alleyways. “All our villains have escaped prison.”

“WHAT,” someone yells aptly from the back.

“Not actually!” the superhero cries. “We’re doing an Easter egg hunt. Kind of.” He taps the map hanging from the ceiling behind him. “The villains are scattered across the city. Whoever finds and brings back the most wins a giant chocolate egg.”

-

The hero wanders the streets for almost an hour, seeing no one of note the entire time. He comes across some of the heroes, also searching, and each time they both laugh about how well hidden the villains are. It’s only when he turns down a frankly grim alleyway that he finally spots one of the people he’s been looking for.

The villain is sitting on the floor, looking bored out of her mind and idly kicking a loose rock about at her feet. She’s the one the hero managed to corner a couple of months ago after trying in vain to catch her for several months before that, and she’d left their interaction spitting in his face as she got shoved into the back of an agency car. She’d always seemed thrilled to see him when he found her committing her sins in the city – except in that final moment, maybe.

She perks up slightly when she sees him approaching, her usual playful smirk adorning her face as he gets closer. “Happy Easter,” she says without an ounce of sincerity. “I’m sure you’re having a wonderful holiday on the job.”

“This is meant to be a break,” the hero tells her with a sigh. He leans down to pull at the restraints keeping her on the floor. “We’re having an Easter villain hunt.”

“Oh, how delightful.” She shuffles uncomfortably as he continues fiddling fruitlessly. “I was wondering why we were all being abandoned in the city. I imagine a lot of the others have escaped by now.”

“That would explain why we can’t find anyone,” he says with a huff of a laugh, and the villain lets a snort out too.

“Except me, I suppose. I did try, believe me, but this rope is obnoxiously tight and you nicked my switchblade.”

“There’s a reason I did that,” the hero says lightly before scoffing in annoyance. “This thing really is tight. Do you know who tied it?”

The villain shrugs. “Some agency loser.”

“That really narrows it down, thanks.” He pulls out his own blade to saw at the ropes uselessly. “What is this thing made of?”

“My resolve,” the villain says unhelpfully with a self-satisfied laugh. “Unbreakable.”

The hero’s knife is closer to breaking than this damn rope. “I’m going to have to cut your arms off, I think.”

“Oh, no, not the arms,” the villain cries sarcastically. Her head turns as someone appears at the bottom of the alley, her lively grin faltering slightly at another’s presence. “One of your friends is here.”

The hero raises his head to watch the other hero approach them, a victorious smirk on her face. “We stuck down here?” she asks knowingly.

“Someone has made these restraints unnecessarily tight,” he tells her, stepping aside as she brushes past to try them herself.

“I can’t feel my hands,” the villain whines. “I think I’m finally dying.”

“That would be the day,” the hero retorts, and the villain throws him a slight smile. The other hero pulls back with an unsure glance between them.

“What… is happening here?” she asks with a grimace. “Am I third-wheeling right now?”

“Are you what?” the hero snaps in horror, at the same time the villain lets out a definitive:

“Yeah.”

“Okay…” she says slowly, gesturing to the villain and her predicament vaguely. “You guys can figure this out. I’m not going to be an accomplice when the agency finds out.”

She doesn’t wait for an answer before starting back off down the alley, and the two of them watch her disappear around the corner at the end in silence for a moment.

“Don’t suppose you have any of those things that cut chains?” the villain asks hopefully, her optimism dying slightly at the frown the hero throws her. 

“I’m meant to be able to free you with my hands,” he reminds her, sinking down onto the ground next to her. “Why would I be carrying a padlock cutter?”

“I dunno,” she says flatly. “Why are you sitting down?”

“Getting comfortable,” he retorts, as if he hasn’t watched her shifting around uncomfortably the entire time. “Not like I can get you out, but I did find you first. I have dibs.”

“So we’re just gonna… wait until someone comes who can get me out?”

“Exactly.”

“Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.” The villain huffs a laugh. “We’re gonna be here forever.”

“Well, if I win I’ll share the chocolate egg with you,” he suggests, and she pulls a face of interest at the offer.

“Well, I guess it’s not too stupid,” she amends quickly. “Deal.”