#i developed this boil on my inner thigh which like. has happened before. bc. my thighs are thick. and i have been
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I hate having anxiety
#damien.txt#venting in tags + a bit tmi abt some health stuff#.... i hate having anxiety!!!!! its the worst all the time!!! why cant my brain just think about things normally!!!#i developed this boil on my inner thigh which like. has happened before. bc. my thighs are thick. and i have been#in an extensive depressive episode for like more than 3 years. so. you can only imagine the stuff my skin goes thru#anyways. i have another boil. and like. idk. it was a little more painful today so i put a hot compress on it + took ibuprofen#but then i looked at it like 20 mins ago and there's a red circle around iy#and immediately i Panic and look it up online bc im like omg oh no#and as always on the internet! the results are wildly conflicting#some ppl are saying im abt to die (<- obviously not correct) some are saying i should go to the er immediately#and some are saying i should just chill and let it rest#but AHHHHHHHHH which one is the right one!! and now im fucking freaking out#and like. sobbing. bc what if i need to go to the er or something!! what if it really is that bad!#but also what if i go to the er and it's nothing and then im wasting so much fucking money :(#im literally just. fuck. fuckfuckfuck. i hate when this happens i hate when i have medical problems bc i freak out this bad#literally anytime something happens to my body like its so fucking bad#and the last time i had a medical thing it Was urgent care worthy so now im like. so fucking scared abt it#and just. fuck. fuck! i wish there was some way to just Know what the right course of action is here#im leaning towards leave it alone for tonight and check back in once it's the morning#but also im really scared :( and idek if im going to be able to sleep#bc the anxiety is really really bad. fuck.#i hate it here. so much. i just want to sleep. and not have to worry abt any of this.
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