#i despise this coloring but anyways this scene has terrible colors to work with lol

[joshdonnas]

“I didn't vote for him.”

EVIDENCE OF THINGS NOT SEEN (4x20) | The West Wing (1999-2006)

[crqstalite]

For your fanfic writer Friday: What's your favorite part in the process of writing: planning, writing, editing? What do you hope readers take away from your stories? What's your favorite story you've written?

is day dreaming a sufficient answer?

in all seriousness, i think i love to just write. i rarely go into a work knowing exactly what’s in between my beginning and my end, but i know what i want to do. there’s just not always a clear way of getting there, and letting myself go and just let words flow is probably my saving grace. planning is hard because inevitably, i will drift. the story will probably change beyond recognition and all that planning was for nothing. i despise editing because, again, inevitably i will end up changing a lot. very frustrating, easier to just write what i like and move on.

i really hope people take away that my heroes are still heroes, even though they’re decidedly not at all neurotypical. like that a majority of my ocs have adhd, and a larger majority have anxiety (like me). yes, it will hinder them in some areas, yet they’ll excel in others. annika struggles with planning beforehand and social situations, but she’s a whiz with weapons and armor, and is still a great friend to the crew and platonic partner to tali. but they’re still capable -- if not more capable -- just like the people around them. it’s not a flaw, it’s a feature.

my favorite story to write was shadow of the sith. i hyperfixated bad on swtor in late 2019 and spent that entire period just writing about my characters. i enjoyed it, i loved writing it. unfortunately i ended up getting sucked into mass effect around april earlier this year and just lost touch with the game. and yet? it’s still my prized possession -- it wasn’t even halfway done and i’d managed to write just over 100k words for it. i also loved exploring what the game wouldn’t give me, relationships that developed behind the scenes and characters that changed ever so slightly when you weren’t watching.

(almost like i intend to do with ‘on burning wings’ and ‘i have questions’. how funny lol)

snatched a snippet from chapter 13, but thank you for the ask!

"Khaak...please. There are things I simply can not do for you right now, there are things beyond your understanding I can't even decipher myself." Lana pauses, leaning against her back for support, "I know I've been gone for a long time, and I apologize for that."

"Do you?" It comes out as a rough whisper, Khaak turns her head over her shoulder, still careful enough that she doesn't accidentally hit her with her lekku, "Are you really sorry, Lana? For putting me through all of that?"

"I-" She starts, but Khaak doesn't let her finish. Won't let her finish. Can't let her finish. If she just bows down and rolls over again, this conversation will be closed off again. And if it's closed off, she can forget about ever getting her wife back.

"Lana I waited for two years for even a word from you. I trusted your life in the hands of a man from the opposite faction, trusted that you'd come back to me whole, and you brushed me off as soon as I wanted to come down and help you! Those two years were a living hell for me, it was like being all alone on the Clarity again, but instead all I had were memories of you. All I had were old holos, your clothes, everywhere you used to be! All in favor of what, some stupid fucking SIS agent?!" Khaak whips around fast, a grimace on her lips as her lekku smack the blast door anyways. If she did have hair, she would've been yanking on it by now, "Now you're back and trying to act like nothing has changed, but you were the one who changed!"

"You don't need to yell, Khaak." Lana answers, her gaze darkening as her tone hardens. She's still terribly intimidating in her dark colored sleep clothing, and her hair mussed. But for now Khaak doesn't have a reign on her emotions, she couldn't care less if she was magically the damned Emperor staring her down with lightning at her fingertips, she would not be quieted again. It's all tumbling out, and screw if Lana wanted to hear it or not, "If you had an issue-"

"'I should've just told you'. Do you know just how well that worked out on this front, Lana? Do you know how many times you told me to go home and wait? How many times I did? How many times I had to chase away people who wanted to take me away because I was an alien in one of the most expensive apartments in Kaas City?" She balls a fist, not entirely sure she even wants to hear the rest of Lana's argument. Khaak doesn't want to hurt Lana, and she's not going to, but it would be a firm lie if she said she wasn't going to punch something once she got out of here. She's already heard most of it time and time again, and she isn't going to be shut down again, no matter how childish she seems, "How many times I was terrified you were dead, or worse?!"

"Don't throw yourself into a tantrum, Khaak. I had a mission to complete, and at the risk of seeming apathetic, you had my approval to stay here through my absence. Whatever they did was illegal." She answers, raising her voice to meet Khaak's tone. It wasn't unusual, but she flinches at the change in volume anyways, possibly instinctively, "The Empire was under attack, and I was going to fight for it. I had access to Arkous' files long before they did, I had to fight Revan before he killed us all."

"What about us!? Were you going to fight for us too? Or was this mission and your damned faction more important than what we have?!" She barked. Khaak wasn't stupid, she knew the Empire always came first because Lana was Sith first and foremost. She had grown up a drifter, never tied to one faction or the other. She traded with the highest bidder, not the most morally close to her own actions. She always tried her best to understand the nationalism that most on Dromound Kaas and Lana felt. But she can't help feeling hurt because of it, fuck her original faction and what they asked of her. She couldn't just dedicate her life to her and then turn away as soon as a mission got tough, "Your damned Empire was worth keeping me away from you when you knew I needed you?"

"I wasn't going to let you run out there and risk your life like you always do! That's what I was aiming to do before you tried to shove yourself into a literal conspiracy!" Lana contended back, "This wasn't your war to fight, it was mine!"