#i def read most of the poems in this book i promise it’s not just a prop and ya girl can read

[asteroidaffection]

sir john what

[faaun]

please delete your philosophy gpt-3 post. it's most likely stolen writing.

philosophy?? idk which one you're referring to sorry. also no . if it's the poetry one, see in tags. actually see in tags anyway. actually pls look at my posts on AI too . sorry if it's badly worded i'm very tired :')

[blackch-rry]

Afraid of Change - Alternative Ending

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Warning: cheating au, implied smut

A/N: this is the alt ending to Afraid of Change and this isn’t any better lol but def the ending some people want :)

***

It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.

The thought of being fine has always been empty words to you, not meaning the most. But as you step into the elevator and press the worn down button of the fifteenth floor all you can do is pray. Pray to whoever will listen that, yes, you will be fine.

You’re not sure when the suspicion rose within your mind, but recently it’s been all your thoughts. When you’re falling asleep and right when you’re waking up. As you walk down the hallway, twenty steps until the door, you hold onto the ring that rests on your right middle finger. You never had the confidence to put it on your left hand or even your ring finger, in case he’ll notice. It’s a constant reminder of what was and what should’ve been.

“It’s a placeholder for the real thing. One day, I promise…”

You’ve never been one for confrontation and honestly the second you unlock the door you might not dive into it. And that’s what happens when you close the door and put your belongings on the dining table. The urge to say something about what you are so sure of dissipates the longer you stand in place. I have to hear him say it…a slip up. And then I’ll find the courage. Is what you say to yourself to fight back your nerves.

You quickly go for the cabinet and fill a cup of water for yourself. As you sip you can hear rustling of paper down the hall, near the bedroom. In his study as always. You’re sure that he knows your home, but despite that you stand near the doorframe. You see his back and the rapid scribbling he’s doing. Your eyes immediately drift to the glass of whiskey to his left. And then the bottle, half empty, close by.

Always drinking. Always tipsy.

You clear your throat. “Have you had dinner?”

Without a flinch to your voice, seeing as he could hear your breathing from behind him since you got there, he raises the glass. “It’s right here.”

Jesus.

You’ve never liked staying in his study. (Not like he also enjoyed it…since he’s a workaholic and needs absolute silence.) You can’t help but step inside and stand near the bookcase and distract yourself with not really reading the titles. You distract yourself with the differentiating heights of the books. You picked up on distracting yourself a lot these days.

He sighs. “I’m working on something very important here and I need you to-” another sigh, “Did you want something?”

This makes you turn your head towards him. He’s not even looking at you. Still making markings on countless papers.

“No, not really.”

With that you make your way back into the hall, towards the bedroom. The first thing you notice is that your side of the bed is still unmade. Something about waking up by yourself this morning made you rush to get to work earlier than usual. You distract yourself with getting ready for bed. It’s not even late, barely past eight, but you have to do something. You think taking a shower first is better. As you undress and dip your hand into the rushing water to test the temperature, your eyes find their way to all his things in the bathroom. To his toothbrush, his pair of glasses lying on the porcelain of the sink, and to his towel hanging next to yours.

God, I’ve never been good with distractions when it comes to him.

And if the shower isn’t the best place to get lost within yourself.

While you stand under the downpour you think of three months ago.

“I’ve always liked you best this way.” Five said from his place by the dresser. Hands in both of his pant pockets. Glasses on the bridge of his nose and hair in disarray.

“What way?” You glanced curiously up from your spot in bed, back against the headboard, and a small book with collections of poems in your hands.

“Like this,” he made his way to you, “Wearing just a comfy t-shirt, in bed, and focused on something you like.” As he sat by your feet your cat jumped up from the other end and came to stay right by your side. “I guess he likes it too.” He said, resting a hand on your leg that was under the blanket.

A playful grin makes its way on your face. “Why is the lack of clothes I’m wearing the first thing you mention?”

His hand continued to move up your body and you finally noticed how close he had gotten. He leaned to kiss you before leaning dangerously closer besides your ear.

“You better get the cat off the bed.”

Your brought back by the sound of a shampoo bottle slipping off the edge of the tub, sliding by your feet. You bend to pick it up and put it back. You think nothing else as you continue to shower.

After about ten more minutes your wrap a towel around yourself. The mirror is quite fogged up but you don’t wish to see yourself anyways. The clothes you change into are cozy and entirely your own. (You used to have a habit of stealing Five’s shirts…but is it technically stealing if you buy them for him since he can’t be bothered?) You do what you need to do to finish getting ready for bed and you finally step back into the bedroom. You see your cat is already curled up sleeping but instantly comes to when you get in.

You instinctively run a hand over him and find yourself smiling as he purrs. “How was your day cat? Hope you did a lot of people watching from the window. I know you love that.” You whisper in case Five can hear you and interrupt his work. You sink deeper into the sheets and rest your head on the pillow. As you stare another memory floods over you.

“Five, I’m giving you the responsibility of naming him.”

He grunted in protest from the dining table. He watched you on the couch holding the rescue in your arms. You looked up from rubbing the cat’s belly and waited. Nodding your head in confirmation that he has to name him. Swinging one leg over the other, he said, “Cat.”

You laughed, “Yes, Five, I know he’s a cat.”

“No, silly. I’m naming him Cat.”

You gave an incredulous look in reply. With that he got up and before entering the kitchen he said, “You know I like to keep things simple. Cat is the simplest.”

You looked down to Cat while you heard Five opening the fridge. You weren’t even mad, in fact you found it funny. “Cat you’ll be then.”

After that you fell asleep with your hand resting on Cat’s back.

***

In the morning you wake up later than you normally allow yourself to. Cat is nowhere in sight, so you assume he’s in the living room waiting for breakfast. You look over and the other side of the bed is exactly how you found it yesterday. This annoys you slightly. You stand up and stretch your back out before heading to feed Cat. You hear Five talking to himself as you pass the study. He definitely didn’t get any sleep. You ignore this and focus on Cat. He’s exactly where you thought you’d find him, waiting by the window in the living room.

After two minutes, you gently place his new food on the floor and start making yourself breakfast. You need something comforting right now, so you make your favorite blueberry pancakes. After you’ve set your plate you take in that you made enough for two. Despite all your worry and suspicions you grab another plate.

You walk plate in hand and you’ve even got a smaller dish with syrup in the other. You knock, even though the door was already somewhat open, and wait for his response. He doesn’t and you can’t take standing out there any longer so you push inside. He doesn’t say anything in protest so you continue. You’re already annoyed with him for not sleeping so you don’t say a word as you place the food down on the emptiest part of the desk. You leave as quietly as you came in.

You don’t have to be at work today so you contemplate what your supposed to do all day. Being home doesn’t feel inviting, even if Cat’s there. He probably doesn’t need something from you for a while anyways since he already ate. You’ve come to the decision to get yourself coffee first, not Five’s coffee, so you quickly change and say goodbye to Cat before heading out.

There’s a quaint café a couple blocks from your apartment and it happens to be the only place that you can get a decent drink without regretting it after a few sips. You hear the bell above you and the friendly getting from the young barista behind the counter. You and a few other people, studious college students, contain the café. Which you appreciate because a rowdy coffee shop doesn’t sound pleasing right now. You greet back, order your usual, and take a seat at an empty table for two. Observing the table next to yours you realize it’s the same spot you met up with a college friend at weeks ago. You sigh at the memory.

“So, I’ve been dying to hear all about this boyfriend of three years.” She exclaimed full of excitement at the thought of your love life. The pastry she ordered left to cool in front of her.

“You wasted no time, Caroline.”

“Of course not! All I’ve gotten is a couple posts on Instagram about you two. And those don’t provide the details I’m looking for!”

You grin, “And what details are you looking for exactly?”

“Your sex life. Obviously.”

You snap your head around the café and feel a tad bit relieved nobody cared enough to eavesdrop. “Jesus, Caroline, my sex life?” You whisper the last part, embarrassed.

“Yes, I’ll tell you all about mine but you need to go first.”

“Why must I go first?” You mutter, but ultimately give up. It’s not something you want to share but maybe you’ll feel lighter. “Actually, it hasn’t been as good as it used to be.”

She reached a hand across the table, not grabbing yours, but it’s a sign she’s there and listening.

You noticed this and prepared yourself. “It’s been a little over two months since the last time.”

“Seriously? Is it you, or…”

“It’s him. I mean I’m not a prude and I’m up for it, but he’s been especially busy with his job recently, taking business trips, and whenever we’re at home it’s not like he’s shown any sign of wanting to.” You find your empty cup the thing you decided to stare at, not wanting to see the look on Caroline’s face.

She called you by your nickname, voice with concern. “So, you’ve been just left to your own devices?”

“God! I am not going to talk about that, Caroline.” You shift in your seat uncomfortably.

“Okay, okay. But I can’t help but think…” She glances down at her uneaten pastry before meeting your eyes again. So she’s thinking the same thing that’s been clouding your brain.

“I don’t know, but everything was fine a couple months ago and suddenly he’s different. Not as affectionate, even though he barely was in the beginning anyways, and I just feel like an afterthought to him lately.” You take a deep breath. “I don’t want to even fathom the idea that he’s cheating on me, but those business trips? He’s particularly distant and snappy when he’s back. I mean he’s always had a temper but he would apologize to me after. Now when he lashes out on me, for stupid things by the way, he just locks himself in his study. We barely talk.” You felt on the verge of tearing up, but you just breathed out shakily.

Caroline went to hold your hand this time. “Anything else you noticed?”

You nodded. “One time when I did the laundry, his suit jacket smelled like perfume. It was faint and I caught a whiff when I went to put it in, but I smelled it again and it wasn’t mine. I swear to God, I know every perfume I have and nothing comes close.” You felt this striking warmth in the middle of your chest. You just kept breathing in hope it went away.

“You have to ask him. I’ve dealt with cheaters before and you have to get his ass for it. Now.”

You cry, “Caroline, it’s not easy for me! I want to, I really do, but I’m so scared. If it’s true I don’t know what I’ll do. I love him. He’s…he’s the only one I’ve ever given all my love to.”

She gives your hand a quick squeeze.

“But if he’s cheating, you’ll leave him right?”

You’re back at the almost empty café. You get up, deciding that drinking your coffee is better off anywhere but here.

***

Afternoon is when you get back to the apartment. Your legs tired of aimlessly walking for hours. Stopping here and there at stores and the park, but nevertheless tired. Putting your jacket on the hook and not forgetting to give some attention to Cat, you hesitantly walk down the hall. Peaking into his study you find it empty. Confused, you ears pick up the noise coming from the bedroom. You enter and see Five packing a small suitcase.

“Where are you going?” You lean on one side of your body, anxious.

He looks briefly at you before putting more of his things together. “Business trip.”

That warmth from weeks ago creeps back in your chest.

“Again? But you had one last week.” You can’t help the small amount of bite that goes with what you said. Five stops and turns to face you. “It’s work. I have to go.”

“It’s just that they’ve never been this close to each other.”

He scoffs, “Well if you have so much of a problem with it then call and complain to them. Not me.” He zips the suitcase and walks past you. He’s wearing the same suit you smelled perfume on. You stand there, taking your deep breaths, before following after him. “Five.”

He’s in the study, putting paperwork together in a briefcase. You’re going to pretend that he didn’t hear you, so you call again. “Five.”

“What.” He sounds uninterested and that damn striking warmth won’t leave you. You want to ask. You want to blurt it out and demand an answer. He’s still moving about with determination and the question almost, almost, goes back inside of you. But you don’t want to be the girl that doesn’t even bother. The girl that ignores it.

“Are you cheating on me, Five?” You don’t say it with much confidence, but you still say it. He pauses for a moment, jaw tight, before zipping the briefcase and standing before you.

“What makes you come to that conclusion?” He’s looking down on you, and god, it makes you angry.

“That’s not a denial, Five.”

“Christ. I’m not having this conversation because I’m not cheating on you.” He looks antsy, like he wants to leave this apartment this second, but he makes no moves. He’s not looking at you anymore and you stay silent. What can you say? All you think about is why didn’t he say that in the first place? Why not deny it the second after you said it?

Why isn’t he angry you even accused him?

“I’m running late. We’ll talk when I get back.”  With that, he goes past you yet again and you stand in the study even after you hear the door close. You think that it’s all the pent up frustration from all this that you release your tears. You don’t make a big fuss, not a sound, just noiseless crying. You hug yourself while you return to the bedroom. You curl up in bed facing away from everything that reminds you of Five. You stare at the wall ahead and it’s when you hear Cat coming and jumps up to lay by you that your crying becomes less noiseless.

***

His business trips typically last three to four days, but what makes you flinch is when you hear the apartment door open. It’s only been one day since he left. You’ve stayed in bed, on your side, the whole time. Only getting up to feed Cat and take a long shower. You don’t bother moving. Only listening to the footsteps and the creaking of the bedroom door being pushed open. He wordlessly sits by your feet near the edge of the bed. It’s all so familiar and it makes you feel sick. He doesn’t say anything.

“Why are you here?” You break the silence first.

“I’ve done some thinking. I thought it would be best to come back.” He sits not facing you, elbows on his knees. You really can’t bring yourself to look at him.

“What have you been thinking?”

“Her name is Nora. She works in another department.” You find his words have guilt clinging onto them.

“Did you meet her while you were away?” You’re still staring at the wall. Too calm for his liking.

“Yes. A long time ago, but things…escalated a few months ago.”

You shut your dried out eyes and sniffle. That anger came back within you instantly. “Months? Did you ever think to stop? That you have a girlfriend at home?”

“Of course, I never wanted it to happen for this long. Or at all, but work has been insanely stressful-”

You sit up, in complete disbelief, and you ignore the way your body hurts from being in the same position for hours. “For fucks sake, Five! You think that’s an excuse? I’m right here, always have been for you!”

He snaps his head towards you. “No, I know it’s not an excuse! And I’ve always thought about you and guilt has been eating away at me. I just…I can’t justify what I did, but I have no plans on seeing her ever again. I love you, I always will. I’m just always jumping way too far into things and I lost my way.” He inches closer not sure how you’d feel, so he still gives space. “All I can hope is that you forgive me. It’s the worst thing I could’ve done and I did it. I’m sorry.”

You hear his apology, but it remains unimportant right now. “Am I not enough? You say you love me and that you wanted to stop but when you’re here I don’t feel loved, Five. We don’t even act like a couple anymore. I’m a roommate basically. I do things for you and get shit in return.”

He shut his eyes in shame before focusing back on you and running a hand through his hair. God, you hate him. “I know. I know I’ve been terrible but it’s because I’m so mad with myself. I’m mad I didn’t ignore her like how I do to everyone else. I’m angry I didn’t come to you. I hate that I made you feel unloved, but you’re the first relationship I’ve had that I wanted to hold onto forever. I’m so sorry.” It’s then that he takes attention to the fact that your ring is no longer on your finger, but on the bedside table instead.

His eyes widen slightly before his entire being just goes slack. “Are you going to leave me?”

You don’t answer and lie back down. He doesn’t urge a response from you, assuming you’ve heard enough and need space. Five watches you reach for Cat before making his way to his study, closing the door behind him.

You just need to think.

***

It take you approximately two hours to come to a decision. No matter how much love you’ve given him and how much he’s given you, there’s this reasoning of a cheater never changes. You thought to yourself that if you stay he will change and become just as loyal as you, but you don’t think your willing to take that chance.

You didn’t talk to him the rest of the night and fell asleep alone, but when you wake up the next morning he’s there sleeping on his side. That warmth strikes your chest. The way the morning sun peaks through the curtains, leaving a glow around him. To his long eyelashes, his messy bed head, the way he grumbles in his sleep…you’re suddenly reminded of all the good in your relationship. The time spent before this obstacle.

And it makes your whole body burn because you know this will be the last morning you wake up to him.

Quietly, you get out of bed. There’s still some coffee in the pot when you arrive in the kitchen. You’re not sure how old it is so you pour it down the sink and make a new one. After you pour yourself a mug you’re sitting at the dining table hoping the smell of coffee will wake him up. It does. A couple minutes pass and he’s sauntering down the hall. He catches you sitting and forgoes the coffee and rests across from you.

You can’t look at him. At his face. So, you stare down at the liquid in your mug.

“I never loved someone like you. All your past and all your faults, I understood and continued to focus on the you now.”

He leans forward on the chair, trying to calm his increasingly beating heart.

You continue, “But it seems you couldn’t do the same for me.”

His eyes are glossy and he tilts his head, looking at you intently trying to convey that he knows this is bad. This sounds like it’ll be bad.

“No, I love you, it was a mistake that I will never make again.”

“But it happened, Five. I don’t understand why but it did, and I won’t stay to see it happen again.” This time you meet his gaze and hold it. His eyebrows are furrowed.

“You don’t believe me when I say I’ll never do it again?”

You hate the way he looks so dejected. But you have to stand your ground, you have to pick yourself up after he knocked you down.

“I can’t bring myself to fully believe you won’t and that is enough of a reason for me, Five. I don’t want to stick around and continue to feel like this and maybe me leaving will help you realize what you really want, Five.”

He shakes his head, “I always want you.”

“If that was true then you wouldn’t have wanted to have sex with someone other than me.” You stand up, no longer feeling comfortable so close to him. As you walk to put your mug in the sink you turn around, “Maybe in another lifetime you never cheated and I never left, but here, now, things are different. I hope you find what you truly want.”

You enter the kitchen and have to stand against the counter, head towards the ceiling to fight back your tears. It takes you three minutes to calm down. When you head back to the bedroom Five is still sitting, staring emptily out the window, but as you briskly pass him he watches you until your further down the hall.

Another hour passes until your back in the living room with all your belongings packed, waiting by the door. Five gets up with the realization that this is happening. This is goodbye. You adjust the purse strap on your shoulder, suddenly awkward.

He stays where he is, but asks, “Is there really nothing that’ll make you stay?”

You shake your head, “I’m staying at a friends while I look for an apartment… I really think this is what needs to be done, Five. I don’t regret loving you, but I know I’ll regret it if I don’t leave.”

He stares at you, not hiding the fact he’s crying, and says, “Can I at least hug you?”

“Yes.”

He didn’t wait so he’s already around you by the time you finish. It’s tight and his hand is on the back of your head. You tentatively place your hands on his back. You need this too. When he lets you go you move to pick up your bags, wiping a stray tear.

“I’ll be come back tomorrow for Cat,” you both glance at Cat sitting on the windowsill. You suddenly realize how lonely Five will be, “Unless you want to…I don’t know-”

“I’ll take care of him.”

“Five, I-”

“Please? He’ll be good company.”

And he’s the last thing I have of you.

“Sure, why not. I’ll miss him like crazy, though.”

“You can always come and visit.”

You give him a look, knowing what he really means, and he comes up behind you to open the door seeing as your hands are full.

There are no more words shared between you two as you leave. The silence engulfs Five after he closes the door.

***

Later that night as you put clothes away in the dresser of the guest room at Caroline’s place, Five gets in bed and observes the ring on your bedside table.

It’s the last thing he sees before he closes his eyes and thinks of what was and what should’ve been. 

[shitsumon-abound]

Eternal Moment spoilers

You know what the most amazing (mostly funny) parts of epi12? (up to ch25 that i’ve read, in no chronological order)

How quickly the plot thickens. it’s really that meme of someone getting pizza only to find the house on fire. Except the theatre is on fire. And the dorm is getting repossessed. 

Citron’s exclamation of ‘I can deploy the military!’

Seriously, Amadate is implied to have background checked everyone and still seem oblivious that he just made enemy of yakuza, gangster, Chikage and also middle eastern royals.

Zen’s restaurant being the secret hideout for first gen

How Kabuto tries to be discreet and even using voice changer but got found out after first talk with Shu.

Banri : *comes to the restaurant* Zen : Are you applying for part time? Banri : Heck noooo (said with the most deadpan voice imaginable) I dunno why this is hilarious for me

Kabuto : Haa? Banri : It’s Settsu Kabuto : Just in time. There’s this show i want you to act in. It’s in 6 months time. Banri : IM NOT JOINING YOU

Yuzo offering Juza a role in a show in six months time. Now im imagining Juza and Banri will ending up in one show and be like that spiderman meme

Citron : (regarding the threat to disband) maybe we can fool them by being Manzai Company Tsuzuru : Yeah, that won’t work... Hisoka : Marshmallow Company... Chikage : The name isn’t the problem here

Reni and Shu providing intel due to them being higher up in theatre world. Zen providing their hideout. Kasumi and Hiro providing support as celeb/reporters. Yuzo freaking out what he can do, and Kasumi suggested he can babysit his triplets.

Hinamori triplets : You’re going to stay here for dinner right?? Kasumi : You can stay forever!

Kasumi’s love for Sakuya and him probably willing to fight Itaru to the race for his adoption papers is adorable

 How everyone spends time after they scatter (Winter and Autumn only since Summer and Spring’s chapters are after break on 25th)

Guy : bartending

Azuma : chilling with sugar mom

Homare : tea party with grandma

Hisoka : channeling the dead (and probably driving Chikage crazy)

Tasuku : solo acting

Tsumugi : tutoring

Azami : boy time with Shifuto

Sakyo : plotting revenge with Azami’s dad

Omi : raising ex-gangster army (again, in Zen’s restaurant)

Taichi : stress relief with kungfu

Juza : working in Yuzo’s troupe

Banri : workshop and being mule to sis

No seriously, Hisoka did channel the dead. He (like everyone else tbh) thought ‘I wanna meet everyone again’ and August appears in his dreams claiming to be his family’s representative and encouraging him to use his December skills for good

We’ll get yelled at together then! August said, even though he’s dead

Cut to Hisoka donning his black hoodie determined to most likely commit felony

I really can’t wait to Chikage’s reaction to this ngl 

Chikage getting a page of Itaru’s book by giving Hisoka terms and condition for staying with him

Kamekichi as Zen’s waiter

Homare being told by grandma to think of good things as they wait for the tea to be brewed (3min) and then grandma says for Homare 2.5min is enough because more and the bad things will also pop up

Homare admitting that he’s terrible in haikus when grandma said his poem was shit. I dunno, the contrast was nice compared to when he’s insisting that everyone just doesn't understand his genius. Then again, grandma also said that Homare makes better poem when he’s with company, so at least they’re in a wavelength regarding that.

The whole sugar relationship vibe Azuma has with Asajo

Kasumi whole fanboying of Sakuya 

Kasumi : How about Tenma-kun? You’re his fan, right? Hiro : Why does it get to that?? I’m not... (proceed to say how Tenma has potential and stuffs)

Spotlight viewers : he’s a fan. def a fan Hiro : IM FUCKING NOT

Baby Sakuya visual!! 

He dreams of his parents and cry in his sleep and Citron says if he gets nightmare again it’d be sleepover party in 101.

Before they part, everyone offers to house Sakuya, including Chikage. Makes it even funnier because Sakuya refused him and instead Hisoka asked to stay with him.

In Hisoka’s own words, Chikage’s look of shock and horror was unforgettable. 

Sakuya’s whole journey to find himself. How many hc got broken here? 

He’s not scholarship student, his aunt paid for his fees in Hana high. He chose not to go to college because to him, he can get experience and everything college can provide from everyone else in MANKAI, and he wanted to work quickly to repay his aunt for the expensive private school fees. 

If you didn’t cry when he introduced himself and asks to be considered family only to be turned down, you’re either a liar or a heartless person

Sakuya’s whole story. He’s tough as nail, but that makes it even more painful to read his parts. He idolized Amadate so much and turns out he destroyed his home

Amadate, to Sakuya : That fire was a good thing. Hyakka troupe’s name soared after the event got to the news. And thanks to it, someone promising ended up interested in theatre Amadate : proceeds to burn the theatre

Banri’s sis : you seem better these days Banri’s sis : it’s disgusting Banri : Why?!

Everyone’s imagination as to what they’d be if they hadn’t joined MANKAI

Guy : still think he’s android

Azuma : still a cuddler with separation anxiety

Homare : still thinks grandma hates him (remember in Mystery he thought grandma thinks he’s useless like his watch)

Hisoka : found and might or might not be killed by Chikage

Tasuku : in God troupe and hating every second of it

Tsumugi : working office job with inferiority complex towards Tasuku

Azami : still a runaway

Sakyo : would be the one destroying the theatre and the guilt towards Yukio will haunt him for life

Omi : depressed and be alone due to his guilt towards Nachi

Taichi : quitting God troupe and theatre entirely because the guilt from his betrayal makes him unable to enjoy acting

Juza : depressed and maybe be a hikkikomori

Banri : still with no motivation towards anything whatsoever

[snippychicke]

I don't have energy to star my laptop, so have a long post of Aftermath. Maybe later I can myself outta this rut and make it pretty.

Fic: Aftermath

Fandom: the umbrella academy

Rating: teen

Pairing: def. Otto/Oc

Chapter Six

The Recruiter frowned as she watched from across the plaza at the remnants of Klaus' cult. So many timelines messed up by the fourth Hardgreeve. Time was able to shift around the distrubed lives, and thankfully none of them were critical changes to the timeline, but it was still another mark. 

If the Commission was at full strength, they would be able to nudge those lives back in place, whether passively or with aggressive action. But at the moment, anything not rated as Critical was allowed to go unaddressed. 

That's why she was here. They needed agents, new and old. And one of their most senior agents was sitting on the steps of the Destiny's Children's bus, reading a book as the rest of the group preached love and peace to the crowd. 

She could almost understand why Agent Otto had declined her invite. He was still recuperating from his injuries. Some peace and quiet was probably good for him (he'd tire of it soon enough, she surmised. A man that lived nearly 20 years of missions wasn't meant for a dull civilian life.) 

But Agent Axel? The man was a legend just as his brothers. And unlike them, he had come out of the Handler's plot with barely a scratch. So why the hell was he sitting on the hippies' bus reading a book of poems?

She straightened her jacket before walking towards him. Maybe he just needed a way back. Imagine if she was able to lead a legendary agent such as himself back into the fold. She'd get the recognition she deserved. They would see she was meant to be more than just a secretary. That she--

The Recruiter stopped dead in her tracks as Axel whipped his pistol from his pocket and aimed directly for her head. All the while barely turning his head to continue reading his book, an undisturbed expression on his face. "A-agent Axel, I-"

She was silenced as he cocked the gun with a simple movement of his thumb, while his other hand skillfully turned the page. His dark steel eyes finally turned towards her, the serene expression on his face hardening slightly. She attempted to swallow the lump in her throat before starting again. "The Acting Director of the Commission would like to speak with you."

"...No." He uncocked his gun and returned it to its holster as his attention returned to his book. Dismissing her as easily as that.

"B-but! We need agents like you! You and your brothers-!'

She was cut off again by that dark look on his face. He marked his place with a ribbon before standing. The Recruiter trembled as he stalked the short distance between them, unable to look away from his cold grey eyes. 

It was like looking at the face of Death itself.

He paused only a few inches away and leaned to whisper in her ear. "You will leave. And you will not return. Understood?" 

She couldn't even nod, but the terror in her eyes was enough of an answer. 

--+--

Lorelei had a feeling she should have just stayed in bed. 

The cats had clawed holes in her stockings. Her bus was late, meaning she was late for her shift, and then her supervisor had given her a tear down about punctuality and appearances.

And now John Doe was wide awake, glaring at her as if she had personally been the one to cut off his leg. 

"Good morning," she greeted, closing the door to the room behind her. "How are you feeling?"

She was unsurprised by his silence as he continued to watch her with narrowed eyes. Pale icy blue that reminded her of a very displeased cat. "Probably not the best, I reckon," she continued, standing about a foot away from the side of the bed. Both to give him space and in case he was able to slip from the restraints. "I have your morning doses of antibiotics and pain killers."

"No," he stated firmly. And  it felt like deja vu yo her. 

"I can understand if you don't want to be doped up anymore. But you at least need the antibiotic." she tried with her gentle persuasion. "Septicemia is quite a serious thing." 

He shifted as much as he could to lean towards her. "Let. Me. Go." 

Her gut told her niceties were not going to work here. She hoped bluntness would. "And go where, exactly? Your leg is still healing, you still need high doses of antibiotics because the infection went systemic. You leave this hospital and you'll be dead within a week." 

He blinked, completely unmoved. "I need to piss." 

She flushed, more embaressmed about assuming than his comment. "Oh. That I can do...as  long as you promise not to try anything funny." 

He stayed silent but tugged at the restraint. Against Lorelei's better judgement, she conceded. She half expected him to lunge for her as soon as she undid the restraints, but he merely sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the white dressings that covered the stump of his thigh. 

She allowed him a moment; she could only imagine what kind shock it would be to wake up missing little more than half of a leg. 

"I wonder if I can still kick my brother's ass…."

Lorlei blinked, sure she had misheard him (but good lord was his accent similar to Ottos, which was a surprise she didn't have time to ponder.) "Huh?"

He looked up, looking rather surprised, and she guessed after a moment he hadn't meant to say the last bit aloud. So instead of commenting, she offered her hand. "C'mon. Let's get you to the latrine."

He took her offer, and proved the medically-induced did nothing to lessen his strength. His arm quickly went from using hers to pull him up to wrapping around her shoulders to steady himself. 

Lorlei expected it to be difficult to teach him how to move, but he picked it up easily as he used her to balance himself as they walked the short distance. 

"Where am I?" He finally asked after he was in the bathroom, and she stepped around the corner to give him some semblance of privacy. 

"Parkland Memorial Hospital, in Dallas," she answered before tacking on: "Texas. United-"

"I know where Texas is," he interrupted dryly, though she swore there was a hint of amusement. Again, not unlike Otto's.

Or maybe she just had Otto on her mind. Last night still kept repeating itself in her mind. How sure she was Otto was going to kill that man. 

How she was more worried about what would happen to Otto if he did, rather than the man losing his life. 

"...where are you from?" She asked, filling the silence. "Or for that fact, what's your name? We've been calling you John Doe since you didn't have any ID on you." 

John Doe stayed silent. Worried that he may have worn himself out, she peeked around the corner.

Only to have him stare challengingly at her. "Trying to catch a peek?"

"Oh for heavens sake," she groaned, turning back around. "I'm your nurse. I've seen it all before--yours included." 

"...you liked what you'd seen then?"

Lorelei counted to ten. "I should've just given you a damned urinal and been done with it. But I figured being in bed for weeks you needed to get up and moving." 

Snickers echoed from the small bathroom, easing her temper somewhat. "You're amusing, Miss Nurse." 

"...Lorelei, but my friends call me Lei."

"Do you?" He asked, confusing her. She tilted her head to convey her expression without turning. "Lie?" 

"Jesus Mary and Joseph," she pinched the bridge of her nose.  "You're going to be one of those patients, aren't you?" 

"General pain in the ass, yes," he answered. "That seems to be everyone's opinion of me. So can I have some actual privacy, or are we going to be waiting here forever?" 

"Definitely giving you a urinal next time," she muttered. "Yes. Use the call bell if you need help, otherwise I'll go fetch the doctor." 

It wasn't until after she left that she realized he had evaded all of her questions. 

--+--

A few doctors filled the small room some time later, and Lorelei wasn't exactly sure why she was present, but Dr. Edwards barred her from leaving, making her awkwardly stand by the door as he and the Administrator Wilford stood before John Doe, who was settled into bed, sans restraints this time. "Let's get down to business  then; What's your name?" Wilford asked, readying his clipboard.

 "Mickey Mouse," the blonde man answered with a slight smirk. The administor paused, a frown crossing his face while Lorelei had to cough to hide her own smile.

"Now look son, I understand things have been pretty rough for you, and having a sense of humor is good and all, but let's be serious now."

John Doe nodded his head, looking chastened. "Right, sorry." There was a beat before he met the Administor's eye and with a straight face answered. "My name is Donald Duck."

The doctor gave Lorelei a dark look at the slight laugh that escaped her lips, and she glanced away quickly, covering her smile. However, when she glanced back John Doe was looking at her, amusement in his eyes. 

"Very funny," Wilford continued, glaring at Lorelei. "But what is your name, boy."

"Bruce Wayne."

Wilford went to write it down, and Loreli worried her lip, weighing the pros and cons of keeping her mouth shut before clearing her throat and commenting: "That's Batman, sir."

John Doe grinned at her, pleased she caught the reference. She returned the smile despite herself before Wilford snapped his pen. "Godman boy, do you think this is all fun and games, or are you just slow?"

"I think you're the slow one," he answered, shifting his head. "One would think you realize by now I'm not giving you my name." 

"Why not?"

"Because it's none of your business."

"None of our business?! You're our patient in my hospital! We need to contact your next of kin and find out where the hell you belong."

His eyes darkened. "Knowing my name won't help with that."  

"Can we at least call someone for you?" Lorelei asked softly. 

"No."

" What about parents?" She pressed gently. Do you have any siblings?"

"No." His eyes grew cold and hard as he glared at her. "No one."

"I think that will be enough," Dr. Edwards finally spoke. "Maybe after you feel more cooperative, we can discuss this further. As it is, with everything the way it is, I don't see you suitable for discharge any time soon."

-+--

By the end of the shift Lorelei felt a migraine stabbing behind her eyes as she rode the bus home, feeling every slight bump and jerk.

The main cause, she was sure, was the John Doe in 281B. Who refused to say anything to anyone after the 'interrogation" by the Administrator. He did, however, prove to be one of the most uncooperative patients the hospital ever had the grace to treat. 

And somehow also one of the ones that tugged at her heartstrings. Maybe the fact he was alone, or the fact he had a dark, lost look on his face when he thought no one was watching that reminded her yet again of Otto.

The white hair and strong jaw didn't help. Or the fact he had the same accent. If she hadn't known better, she would've sworn they were related somehow. 

Especially since they both liked to see what odd things they could use as darts. She had to admit, however, that the fact that he somehow got his silverware from lunch wedged in the ceiling tiles was rather impressive. 

The bus finally rolled into the stop in her neighborhood, and Lorlei dragged herself down the few blocks remaining, bag slung gracelessly over her shoulder. All she wanted to do is collapse, even if it was just on her old lumpy couch. 

But there were the cats. And if the last week was anything to go by, Otto was probably still working on the roof (she still didn't understand what spurred him to do such a thing. And he still refused to accept any repayment) which meant it was up to her to cook supper. 

Maybe he would be okay with the diner again, even after the other night. But that meant having to wait even longer until she could sleep and….

Otto wasn't on the roof. She frowned as she walked along the broken pavement that led to the front door. Granted he had done a lot already…. (Had he been a carpenter sometime in the past? Was that a question safe for her to ask?) 

Nala, Freyja,  and Hugo greeted her as soon as she opened the door, wrapping around her legs as she slipped off her shoes. The house was filled both with warmth and the scent of something delicious simmering. Lorele's heart quickened to see Otto in the kitchen, looking completely at home despite his frame. 

She wasn't sure what she had done in her life to deserve a person like him in her life, but she was so very thankful. Without thinking, she slipped into the kitchen, too tired to rethink her impulse to wrap her arms around his hip, resting her head against his muscular back. 

--+--

Otto heard the door open and close, and Lorelei greeting the cats that met her at the door. She sounded...exhausted. He mentally shrugged, working on supper while listening to her slip off her shoes, her stockinged feet as quiet as a cat's as she padded into the kitchen. After the second shift in a row, she often came home worn to the bone, ready to crumple on the couch and fall asleep without bothering to unpin her cap from her hair. Which was why he had taken the initiative to have supper (mostly) finished before she returned. 

He froze slightly as Lorelei wrapped her arms around his hips, pressing her head against his back between his shoulder blades. "I appreciate you so much." She mumbled into his shirt, making him relax. "I'm pretty sure I would just go to bed hungry without you." 

A smile twitched on his lips, unseen as she continued to lean on him. He tried to keep still while finishing supper, enjoying the warmth and weight against him. When he made a slight movement, she would resettle herself with a sleepy noise, her arms tightening around his hips briefly.

Maybe civilian life wasn't so horrible with moments like this. 

Lorelei made a small sound of protest when he finally had to break the moment, looking half asleep when he turned towards her. "Sit down, Älskade."

She gave him a curious look, he didn't explain but gave a soft smile before tapping the tip of her nose. She wrinkled it slightly, making him smile wider before ushering her to the table. 

"How do you make someone behave when they're being so darn obstinate?" She asked as she sat, petting the cats that were demanding attention. Otto paused before he held up the bloody butcher knife sitting near the sink, making her frown as she caught the implication. "I can't threaten him, Otto. He's my patient!"

He tilted his head and thought as he served the food. Nothing fancy, but Lorelei's stomach growled as she placed the cats down on the floor. "I will."

"What? No!" Despite her protest, a small smile appeared on her face. "You know,  I forget you're a violent man sometimes."

He shrugged as he sat across from her. He was perfectly acceptable if she forgot that part of him. Because it meant that she did feel threatened by him. 

"Maybe if I threaten him with you, he'll cooperate?" She continued to muse, stabbing a diced potato. "But how: 'behave or my roommate will come and threaten you?'" 

"Or I'll kill him." He joked, grinning at her scowl. 

"That would make the whole point of saving his life moot." She shook the potato at him, blushing as he leaned across the small table and bit it off her fork. She tried to pretend she wasn't affected as she focused on her plate instead of the playful expression on his face. "I-I mean, the poor boy has had enough. I mean, could you imagine having your leg blown off? And then not having any kin around?"

Lorelei almost missed the way Otto tensed, his expression turning dark before he closed his eyes, forcing those thoughts and memories away. Though when he opened them, she had a concerned look on her face, head tilted slightly. "Everything okay?"

"Ja," he forced a smile. He could tell she didn't believe him, but again, she didn't push. 

"Anyways, I saw that you have half the roof done already…"

--+--

Lorlei was still yawning the next morning when she arrived at the hospital the next morning, the lights flickering to full brightness to announce the morning  

"Oh praise the angels," the night nurse proclaimed when she saw Lorelei walk into the nurses station. It was a familiar sentiment, but usually from a different nurse, not hard-norse Doris. "I was thinking morning would never come."

"Oh?"

She waved her hand towards the infamous room near the end of the hall. "That devil of a boy.  I swear he's Lucifer's own kin."

"...John Doe?"

"Yes!" She huffed, "I hope them doctors do something wise like put him on haldol. Two am and he's singing at the top of his lungs in bad english to some made up song! Woke half of the unit up! And be careful, he's hiding silverware. Threw a fork at the orderlie rounding at him, nicked his ear! He needs to be asylum!" 

Lorlei listened and eventually had to prod the older nurse into a proper report on the other patients. However, she kept her words in mind as she did her rounds, saving his room for last. 

John Doe didn't look quite as angry as the morning before, and had even a little color to his face as he looked over to her. "Did the old goat finally leave?"

"Doris is not an old goat," Lorelei chided as she prepared to take his vitals. Her protest wasn't quite heartfelt, as she had thought the old woman a biddy at times. "She's an experienced nurse as a good mentor."

He snorted and muttered something under his breath, but otherwise stayed quiet. After noting everything down, satisfied that his vitals was within normal limits considering he reportedly hadn’t let anyone come within three feet of him,  she sighed and adjusted her stethoscope. "Look. If you don't start behaving they are going to pump you full of haldol and benzos that you won't ever even be able to look straight."

His faint smirk faded and his glare returned as he remained silent. "I know things are hard, but you don't look insane to me. Or stupid for that matter. I'd hate for you to wind up in an asylum with drool running down your chin after everything you've been through."

John Doe continued to glare at her despite her attempt at humor, though she swore she could see him thinking over her words.  "You don't need to like us, but we are here to help. We aren't going to hurt you. Hell, I'm pretty sure most the staff already want you outta here as much as you do. Just work with us, ok?"

He rolled his eyes, but pulled something from beneath his blanket and threw it at her. She barely caught the pen before it clattered to the floor. "Wait. This is my pen!"

He shrugged. "You need to pay more attention."

Lorlei pressed her lips together, debating her words as she set out the supplies to change his dressing. "You better behave or my housemate will come threaten you."

John Doe raised a pale eyebrow at Lorelei, a faint smirk on his face. "I'm not scared."

"You should be," she said, half teasingly. "He's easily Six foot five, has muscles thicker than your head, missing an eye. He's a scary dude."

 That seemed to interest him, his head tilted slightly "Boy friend?"

"N-no!" she stuttered, "Not...not exactly."

"Oh? He's gay then?" He seemed so blase about the taboo subject, and not even the sneer she expected. But actually...interested?

"What?! No, I don't... I dont think so…"

"Hmm, shame." She paused and looked over at him quizzically. He smiled slyly at her, winking at her. "He sounds cute."

"Oh my god," She wheezed, trying not to laugh at his boldness. No one else in Dallas, or Texas, would ever say such a thing, yet he was so flamboyant about it. "Y-you're horrible!"

"You're cute too," he playfully reassured her as he leaned back in the hospital bed. "But very annoying. Like a bossy sister."

"Yeah, your like an annoying little brother." To his annoyance, she ruffled his hair. There was a melancholy expression on his face, making her regret her actions. "You okay?"

"I'm missing half my leg," he answered with a deadpan expression. 

"I-" she stuttered before he started to snicker. She rolled her eyes. "Oh for goodness sake. I have other patients I need to tend to. Ring if you need anything, you brat." 

"Love you too, syrra!"

[smallpressdistribution]

7 TITLES LANA DEL REY WOULD LOVE (AND LOVE TO HATE CAUSE SHE’S A GEMINI)

IN THIS WEEK’S SPDCLICKHOLE by Maya Arthur

I am Maya, an intern at SPD this summer from Philly, and I proposed this listicle to my boss, Trisha and surprisingly, she liked this idea!

My first week of interning at SPD, I found it. The book was titled Lana Del Rey: Her Life in 94 Songs About Love, Sex And Death and I found it while searching for another book (which was in a completely different aisle - I promise I got better, SPD). It was her eyes that lured me in and also the complete randomness of the title in the warehouse right in between two experimental poetry books. I immediately became obsessed. 

The author F.A. Mannan goes through every song in her discography from her first EPs to her latest album Honeymoon and analyzes them. He finds comparisons and continuity in songs, he shares factoids, he shares information most pop culture fanatics know about Lana Del Rey, but in a way that feels like it’s brand new material. It’s not particularly fresh, but a whole book dedicated to it is so exciting and surreal. Its existence has blown my mind. It’s simply just a book dedicated to describing Del Rey songs, in short, succinct paragraphs (usually one, sometimes the song grants two). It’s an easy read and since finding it, I have solely been listening to Lana on Spotify, watching her music videos on loop, and reading all the fan blogs. 

I don’t know her, but I’m so proud of her. That’s how quickly obsessed I’ve become. But truly! She has grown so much from her “Born To Die” past - she now has a “Lust for Life.” She put it in a song so it’s gotta be true. I wonder if this new look at life means she’s reading a lot and discovering new books - so I thought up of this listicle to find what SPD books Lana would love and also love to hate (she’s a Gemini so she def hate-reads).

Thank you F.A. Mannan and Eyewear Publishing for igniting my fire. Thank you to my boss for giving me a platform to project a lot.

Here are seven titles Lana Del Rey would love to read (and of course, love to hate read). 

1. Pigeons and Pussy, William Minor, Shearsman Books

Let’s just do a comparison of writing from Pigeons and Pussy and Del Rey’s iconic Cola.

“My pussy tastes like Pepsi Cola

My eyes are wide like cherry pies

I got sweet taste for men who’re older

It’s always been so it’s no surprise”

Cola, Lana Del Rey, 2012

“Pussy is not rooted in the world of prose

it is rooted in the world of pussy. The poetry

of pussy is in the presentation of pussy.”

William Minor, Pigeons and Pussy, 2013

Wow. They go hand and hand. Cola as prose and Pigeons and Pussy as its explanation, as it’s analysis. Pussy is in the presentation of pussy. And that pussy is like Pepsi Cola. I wonder if Lana was using Pepsi Cola as not only a sugary caramel drink, but also like . . . American capitalism. Yeah, let’s go with that. Also, I can imagine Lana liking pigeons. I feel Lana likes the perception of things and people so she would like the notion of pigeons and its stigmas – how they are “rats with wings,” the underbelly of the bird world. Then she’d be like, “But WE created this hierarchy.” We being society, that is.

2. I Am Not Ashamed, Barbara Payton, Spurl Editions

Barbara Payton was one of the biggest stars in Old Hollywood. She had many famous suitors, had starring roles and was living the opulent lifestyle. Her fame grew so quickly and fervently, it seems Barbara couldn’t catch up in a way. Consumed by alcoholism and a heroin addiction, she resorted to prostitution in her later years before her death of heart and liver failure in 1967. I Am Not Ashamed is brash and confessional and simply unashamed – everything Lana wants to be and show to her audience. This title is definitely canon for Lana.  

3. Sex and Death, Ben Tanzer, sunnyoutside

THE PERFECT COMBO FOR LANA. Tanzer’s book is one of paradoxes – fidelity and infidelity, anxiety and confidence, passion and apathy. It makes me wonder – is sex and death symbiotic? Writer Ben Tanzer does not answer that question, but shows that sex seems to always be around death and death seems to follow sex. Maybe they are frenemies, acquaintances, coworkers eating lunch in the same break room, but different tables. Lana Del Rey states she “fucked her way to the top” to achieve more stardom, more attention. I feel like she’d write a complicated song about how sex sometimes leads to death which leads to more life after reading this book on a private jet.

4. I Love You Forever, No Matter, Robert Fitterman, Counterpath Press

A collection of found material about love with lines like “This is me, and this is my story” and “The heart wants what the heart wants.” Lana would love it. How it shows that love and the lines we use to state love are so universal and collective. She’d use a line as a lyric and chuckle when she sings it to a crowd.  She would have to agree - those lines are saccharine and a little corny, but true.

5. Geography of Love and Exile, Susannah Simpson, Cervena Barva Press

Many of Lana Del Rey’s songs explore love, but specifically the intensity of love. In her music, there exists a love so intense for someone that It ends up ostracizing and exiling them. The strong, forceful (Lana would say passionate) want to belong would ultimately produce a reticence from people. Or no matter how much attention and support one receives from others, they are still lonely. Susannah Simpson’s poetry in Geography of Love and Exile is a transitory experience. The journeys of love and belonging are vaguely ended, lost, stolen, cut short, dismissed, et cetera. Similar to Lana Del Rey’s songs of wanting – there usually is an end that is unsatisfactory, but that is the very nature of love. Ahem, that’s what Lana believes anyway.

6. Death and the American Dream, Daniel Cano, Bilingual Review Press

I must state this – Lana Del Rey is problematic. And saying celebrities are problematic tends to instigate a cutting off//doxxing//cleanse from the public, but I feel that Lana Del Rey is a person that would recognize all the vices of our current world and politics, undergo a Katy Perry-esque “white woman woke” stage in her life and would be down to read this book to cleanse herself from her fake chola days. Her short art film Tropico was a bad concept. This title has a great concept! It revolves around the life of Mexican emigrant Pepe Rios, a Spanish-language reporter lurking through an underground Los Angeles to uncover the truth about his best friend’s death. Author Daniel Cano shows that life isn’t a Horatio Alger coming-of-age book (and to be frank, never was).

7. The Fall of America: Poems of These States, 1965-1971, Allen Ginsberg, City Lights Publishers

I had to add Ginsberg. Lana would be too cool for Howl (again, she’s a Gemini). Many of her songs are about the idea of the American Dream. She attempts to subvert, although her lyrics are very literal. And she still posits herself as the Dream, the embodiment, literally she is a National Anthem. Maybe she’s saying that’s the fall of America? We focus on facades and outer appearance more than anything? I’m not sure.

She wouldn’t particularly like the book. She’d probably hate it. It’s more out of an obligation to her aesthetic. Her persona is American self-deprecation in a snazzy cover and this title fits the bill.

All books available here at spdbooks.org.

[victuuriwriters]

Welcome to the VWC’s Weekly Bulletin, where we feature what’s new and exciting in Victuuri fanfic every week. Look here to get a glimpse at new works that have been posted in the fandom, updated WIP fics, works from our Collective authors, and what the admins have been reading this week. 

New Works 

Fields of Gold by Haro: The story in which Yuuri Katsuki wins everything there is to win and retires as Japan's living legend, because he's incredible and beautiful and he deserves it. Aka 'Yuuri wins all the gold', the fic.

Meet Me by the River by c0rnfl0wer: Every Kupala Night has come and gone without his attending, but now that Viktor Nikiforov is getting older and taking over the position as leader of his village, he has to start taking his life in a different direction. He wasn't sure whether he expected anything at all in this way. But when Yuuri catches his wreath, he finds the path he had always longed for. 

Historical/Mythology AU based on Slavic mythology and traditions, specifically Kupala Night - a midsummer celebration involving merrymaking in a few different ways.

Bound to Please by paxton1976: By a small twist of Fate, Viktor and Yuuri meet in the Katsuki's secondhand bookstore 'Bound to Please'. Friendship comes fast as they offer something the other has never experienced before. As they strengthen and grow individually, they realize the other holds the pieces to make them whole.

Canoe-dling: Not Prohibited by primavitya: Yuuri is a seasoned counselor at Camp Okenoko who thought he was in for just another run of the mill, shenanigan filled summer with his friends. But he could not have been more wrong as he’s inevitably blindsided by the newest arrival.Enter one Viktor Nikiforov, who’s got the charms and good looks to woo whomever he pleases, and who’s interest is instantly peaked by none other than, Yuuri Katsuki.

Dawn in St. Petersburg by Multiple_Universes: To some people it’s just another morning, but for two skaters it’s much more than that.

WIP Updates

Like a Fairytale by lucycamui: In which Prince Victor gets swept off his feet at a royal banquet and will go to any length to find his 'Cinderella' Yuuri. (And Phichit is the fairy godmother who has no idea what he's doing).

Fatum ad Momentum by maydei: These are the moments that were lost in the rush for the Gold, and the things that were built within them. A re-evaluation of everything, from day one, the real day one. From, "Be my coach, Victor!!" And how trust, friendship, and love were built from there. Through Victor's eyes, the story unfolds—the journey and experience of knowing Yuuri.

Doveglion by reginar: Yuuri Katsuki would describe himself as a dime-a-dozen poet with a degree in comparative literature from Todai and only a couple of publications due to luck. By some miracle, he’d received an Asian Culture Council grant and a Bright scholarship to help him pursue MFA Creative Writing in America. He’d been so excited because he would be in the same country as his literary hero, V. Nikiforov, writer of countless, innovative poems.

Impostor Syndrome by renaissance: At some point, most people with a childhood crush will imagine meeting their idol, and might even pretend that they're dating. This is the story of how Yuuri Katsuki meets his childhood crush, and how they pretend that they're dating.

counterclockwise by viktyuuri (Empress_Arisu): Life after retirement, Yuuri thinks, is quite a nice change of pace. Although, not so much when he finds himself thrust back into the past.

In which married husbands Viktor and Yuuri somehow end up 5 years in the past without knowing how or why.

Or: Yuuri and Viktor try and fail to keep their relationship on the lie low. (Yuuri tries for a while, but having a clingy husband makes things 10x harder.)

Everyone's suspicious, and really, Yuuri just wants to go back and have some semblance of peace back in his life, damn it.

New in #victuuriwriters

Icicles Melt in Summer (WIP) by dystopiansushi: Victor Nikiforov. Oddly, no matter how many times Yuuri repeats the name to himself, it still sounds beautiful, the r rolling off his tongue and the v melting on the tips of his lips like a mint. But more to the point, Victor Nikiforov, model for the Agape shoe and accessory line and face of Stammi Vicino Menswear, is sitting in one of his chairs. 

Or, the one where model Victor Nikiforov is searching for his raison d'être in Brooklyn, New York, and finds much more than that in a small, jasmine-scented hair salon.

and once upon a song (WIP) by missmichellebelle: A popular high school ice hockey star and a shy, academically gifted transfer student discover they share a secret passion for singing. When they end up accidentally auditioning for the lead roles in the school musical, it threatens East High's rigid social order and sends their peers into an uproar.

Between the Lines by nikiforovs: Victor doesn't have a problem.In fact, he has the exact opposite of a problem if he's being entirely honest with himself. (He's not.) The cashier of that hole-in-the-wall bookstore was cute, but he wasn't the only reason Victor returned to Sweetest Reads early the following week.

Or: Bookstore AU where Victor keeps buying more books than necessary just so he can continue to see the cute cashier again.

Rock, Paper, Scissors by nerdlife4eva: Victor and Yuuri discover the only chore they both dislike is vacuuming and decide to rock, paper, scissors (RPS) each time the chore needs to be completed. Yuuri is an ace at RPS and Chris sends them personalized charts to track their successes. All adorable Victuuri hell breaks loose! (These two have no chill, in basically anything!)

Some Might Call it Fate by Chessala: The Katsuki family moves to Russia after they had to close their Hot Springs temporarily. Little Yuuri (3) has to go to a new Kindergarten where he doesn't know anyone. He sees a picture of an ice skater on the wall of his new Kindergarten and is instantly fascinated. He loved ice skating so maybe he can be friends with the person that drew this picture. But how can he talk to them?

Admin Picks

Of Bright Stars and Burning Hearts (WIP) by Reiya: Viktor doesn’t remember the first time he met Yuuri Katsuki. This however, is what Viktor does remember…Part 2 of the Rivals series and companion fic to ‘Until My Feet Bleed and My Heart Aches’. One small change alters the course of both Viktor and Yuuri’s entire lives, throwing them into a bitter rivalry that spans across many years and creates a world where they both tell a very different side to the story.

so I’m pretty sure all of you have read Reiya’s fic Until my Feet Bleed and my Heart Aches and the sequel is finally here!! This fic, man. If you’re down for hella Victor angst in the form of pining, this is for you. (Although you should def read UMFBAMHA first)

urgent need of gravity (WIP) by RennieOnIceCream (Hitsugi_Zirkus): AU in which Yuuri is a make-up artist working in a small salon when he's suddenly invited to work for big time fashion brand Stammi Vicino right alongside its top male model, Viktor Nikiforov, and love isn't all glitter and perfectly-winged eyeliner.

Model Victor crushing on his makeup artist, Yuuri in badass makeup doing glorious things to a certain model’s face (sadly not kissing. yet.), fluff of epic proportions, need I go on? 

rubato (WIP) by indianchai: Yuri is a psychology major (who happens to play the cello) that moves to Detroit in his sophomore year of college to escape his ice skating past. Through his roommate Phichit, who is in their college’s orchestra, he encounters infamous pianist of the school– an overconfident senior named Victor who refuses to be an accompanist to anyone (until, that is, he hears Yuri play).

Am I obsessed with musician aus? hell yes. I could honestly wax lyrical about this au for a while, but...spoilers. Just, just read this okay.

Russian for Dummies by cutthroatpixie: “Are you a beginner? ”Viktor was not a beginner. Viktor was the TA supposedly in charge of this study session. Viktor spoke Russian. Viktor was Russian. “Sure!”

Need a cute fic to get you through the day? This one is it! Russian for Dummies is truly a fun and engaging fic that will take you five seconds to read, but will make your day 100% better. 

and I feel life (for the very first time) by smudgesofink: “What do you have in mind for the next season?” A reporter asks him during the press conference and Victor shoots them a smile, trying to buy himself some time. I don’t know, he wants to say. To be honest, after winning gold once more, Victor feels lost more than anything. What does one do after finally fulfilling a longtime promise?

In which Victor helps Yuuri with his skating, but Yuuri helps Victor find himself again.

A truly beautiful fic about picking up the pieces after a tragedy. Victor finding hope and love in Yuuri is wonderfully portrayed in this fic, and the writing is beautiful to match. A truly inspiring and gorgeous piece of work that everyone in this fandom needs to read.