#i currently have one long draft and two short ones and that's IT and i feel so good abt that

[skyheld]

SMALL PSA:

i'm going mostly blind into veilguard and probably won't finish it very soon, so i'd really appreciate any spoilers to be tagged for at least a couple months. if i post any spoilers early on they will be on a readmore and tagged d.a4 spoilers (w/out the period), and i'll make a note of when i start posting hcs/threads etc (and still tag them for as long as it seems reasonable).

i've started queuing my replies to keep myself from getting overwhelmed and hopefully have some time to do meme replies as well because i haven't been doing those in ages. this is both in case my activity drops after thursday but also to keep activity more even on weeks when i work more, so it's possibly a permanent thing. atm the queue is set to post once a day but i'll likely set it to higher in a bit. the plan for now is to post meme replies as i finish them so not everything is on queue and then see how it works out.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

I DREAM, NOW, OF A NORMAL LIFE WITH YOU ; SUGURU GETO

synopsis; suguru isn’t a lightweight. this is your first time actually seeing him drunk — though maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he’d be the sappy kind.

word count; 9.4k (..... i got carried away ok)

contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader (shoko calls u "girl" but in a "girl help" way not a gendered way), written w a no curses au in mind, sugu is a sappy emotional drunk i said what i said, sickening amounts of fluff, depictions of intoxication, reader is averse to alcohol, sugu wants to marry u so bad it makes him look silly, lots of emotions & lots of love <33

a/n; this fic has been ROTTING in my drafts for the longest time but its super precious to me and now i finally get to post it!! @softgirlgonehaywire & @hayakawalove ily ty for being interested in sappy!sugu this is a treat for u <33

the bar isn’t all that far off from your apartment.

it’s a short distance, really. walk straight ahead, until you reach the record store that suguru likes to frequent, and then take a right; a minute or two uphill, and then you’ll be able to see the blue of the sea. once you’re there, all that’s left is to look for mellow golden lighting and descend a set of stairs.

which is what you’re currently doing, popsicle in hand, loose clothes and comfortable shoes on as you wallow in the mellow summer evening. everything is blue — the dark shade of the sky, and your ice pop, pastel and sweet, tasting of pure youth. the hoodie you threw on is a rich cobalt, suguru’s in name but yours in spirit. he only wears it when you complain that it doesn’t smell like him anymore.

humming a jolly tune, you take a sharp turn, allowing the summer sensations to curl around your subconscious. blissed out and content. 

you were so, so bored — stuck at home with no one to keep you company, no one to mumble snarky commentary about the show playing on tv, no one to run their fingers through your hair while your head rests in their lap. pure torture, really, being faced with the consequences of your own actions. after you stupidly told suguru you’d be okay on your own.

he even asked you twice, just to be sure, even told you that he’d prefer you to join him on his night out. and again, you declined; because it’s been so long since he had some time alone with shoko and satoru, and you were feeling a little tired anyways. 

so he gave in. heading out, with a promise to bring back a tub of your favorite ice cream, leaving you with the apartment to yourself. did you come to regret your little white lie? maybe. possibly.

but everything worked out in the end.

a pleasant breeze caresses your skin, brushing against the apple of your cheek, and you watch as peach blossoms dance in a faraway park. cicadas cling to every tree in sight, buzzing a pleasant tune, mingling with the giddy giggles of high school students enjoying their summer vacation. it’s been raining for a couple of days; you can still smell it in the air, feel it in the low tinge of humidity clinging to your skin, still hear suguru’s insistence that you bring an umbrella with you to work — just in case.

but today, the skies were clear, and it’s late, not too humid but not too chilly. and the stars are out, glimmering in that fuzzy sea of mellow cerulean, leaking out like little marbles cast into space. falling down, down, down, close enough for you to see. from here, it looks as if they’re waving. you resist the urge to wave back.

peace. bliss. a nostalgia so vibrant you could drown in it, feel it lick at your ankles like soft sea foam.

eager to scratch a certain itch in your brain, attention span zipping from one street vendor to the pop music blasting from a couple streets away, you take your phone out from your pocket. absently scrolling through your messages, until you get to the ones shoko sent you just ten minutes ago. the ones that brought you out here, into a summer evening soon to slip into nightfall, ones that have you walking to the bar you chose not to join them at.

messages that still have you pushing back a bout of giggles, chewing lazily on your ramune ice pop with a giddy smile.

sho 🚬: come get ur man sho 🚬: he’s drunk. sho 🚬: like DRUNK drunk 

you: …… um.  you: what happened to hi? hello?? good evening???

sho 🚬: no time for that. look sho 🚬: [ image ] sho 🚬: he looks so goofy lol

unable to resist the temptation, you press the pad of your finger against the screen — opening the image attachment, just to drink in the sight once again. what you see is a certain man, slumped over in his seat, cheek smooshed against the wooden table in front of him. messy hair, no longer tied into a bun, cascading down his shoulders and back. from the little you can see of his face, his skin is flushed a light pink, and his eyes are closed, fingers still curled around an empty beer jug. 

like a sleepy puppy.

a coo tiptoes on your tongue, but you bite down on your lip in an effort to stop it, just grinning at your screen with pure adoration in your lovesick eyes. 

he’s drunk, alright. an unfamiliar sight, but not at all unwelcome. because he’s cute, terribly so, so cute that it hurts, even when he’s obviously wasted. it’s almost funny — you know their drinking habits. shoko holds her liquor so well that it’s a little horrifying, and satoru can get wasted if he has more than a sip of it. and suguru?

suguru never gets drunk. he barely even drinks. out of consideration for satoru, maybe, or you. probably both. that’s just how he is; you thought he hated fish for years, because he was always so eager to give you the best bites of the sushi rolls you ordered. turns out he was just indulging you.

so, to be frank — the idea of him suddenly being drunk is a little bit of a shocker. but it’s also kind of exciting, in a ridiculous way. new, fun, just what you need when you’re bored out of your mind.

(or maybe you’re just happy to have an excuse to go see him.)

you: NOOOO  you: MY BABY 😭😭😭 you: what did u guys DO to him???

sho 🚬: satoru and him made a bet 😐 you know how they are sho 🚬: he drank like a divorced mother of four ive never seen something so beautiful

you: …. you: have i told you that you’re both terrible

sho 🚬: u love us <33 sho 🚬: anyway he’s been asking me where u are for the past ten minutes pls come i can’t stand him sho 🚬: he’s crying.

you: HUH???????? you: WHY????????????????

sho 🚬: dude i dont know sho 🚬: please come get him he’s being so sappy that satoru’s abt to throw up

you: ???? okok 😭 you: im omw ig??

sho 🚬: girl hurry he just told me he genuinely appreciates my presence in his life 😐

an exhale — laced with deep amusement — drops from your lips and spills into the summer air. it tastes like a memory from long ago.

slipping your phone back into your pocket, you raise your gaze, searching for a glimmer of goldish light. soaking up the scent of the ocean, sparkling on the border of your peripheral. salty and sweet.

no matter how hard you try, all you can think of is that certain someone, waiting for you to pick him up. your mind keeps drifting back to the way his eyes crinkle when he laughs, the way his hair falls over his face when he leans down, the sound he makes when he stretches in the morning.

you want to see him. badly. you want him near, want to feel the familiar warmth of his presence, want to see him smile and laugh and sigh and raise his eyebrow at your antics. 

so there isn’t any time to waste. you’re walking towards that familiar set of stairs before you know it, shoes hitting the asphalt with a mantra of satisfying thuds. 

and when you step in through the opened door, you’re immediately engulfed by a sense of overflowing comfort. mellow, warm lights, the soft buzzing of static from an old radio, low citypop beats trailing through the air. the bartender by the counter gives you a curt nod in greeting, before motioning towards a certain table. it’s over in the corner, covered in beer jugs and fancy glasses, with three beauties seated around it.

satoru notices you first.

a bright grin finds its way onto his face, and he waves you over giddily, happily. barely contained excitement in the motion. shoko’s gaze follows his, flitting over to meet yours — and you think she mouths an oh, thank god, before taking another sip from her glass. she brings a hand up in greeting when you come closer, and you can’t see her smile, but there’s a crinkle to her eyes; a warmth in them that you’d never miss.

”hey, guys.”

”yo!” satoru chirps, beaming in a way that’s so distinctly him it makes you soften. he looks so comfortable in his seat, with a cocktail you know is non-alcoholic and probably too sweet for anyone but him to stomach. giggling to himself, leaning over to poke suguru’s cheek, with a teasing declaration of your chaperone is here! 

and there he is. 

the man you came here for, still slumped over in his seat, unresponsive. not for long. as the lilt of your voice reaches his ears, his eyes flutter open, in a bout of recognition — even in the drunken state he’s in. an immediate sensation of familiarity creeps into his veins, rousing him from his cozy, half-asleep stupor. 

he doesn’t even grumble over the way satoru keeps poking at his cheek, interest and attention focused solely on a certain someone. you, your presence. 

and when your eyes meet his, he lights up.

it’s precious, you think, how his eyes widen, blooming with genuine affection, so endearing you could kiss him right then and there. his face is flushed, and his hair is tousled, and the warm lighting of the bar paints him in a golden hue. so perfect for him, your star in the sky. 

a smile spreads across his lips, big and happy and warm, and you can’t help but mirror it. 

(gosh, he’s cute.)

with a dizzy kind of eagerness, suguru sits up, palms flush against the table to support his weight. he stumbles out of his seat, paying no heed to satoru’s amused huff of careful! or the rattling of fragile glass.

it only takes a few uncoordinated steps for him to reach you, where you haphazardly lean against the wall, watching him amusedly. that delighted smile never leaves his lips, as his arms go to curl around your waist, big and heavy, his jaw finding its rightful place on the curve of your shoulder. 

”baby,” he drawls, fond and affectionate. breathing you in. ”sweetheart. my angel.”

a flustered puff of laughter slips from your lips, stumbling a little under his weight. his voice is syrupy sweet, overflowing with love and adoration, soft in a way that has your knees buckling. a little raspy. murmured right into your ear, sending pleasant shivers down your spine. 

he’s too sweet for you to handle, really, even sweeter than satoru’s overpriced cocktail. and he smells the same as always; a blend between coffee grounds, cigarette smoke and rain, one that never fails to soothe you. even when it’s tangled up with a vague but vivid stench of alcohol, courtesy of the drinking he’s been doing until now. 

you crinkle your nose, but don’t let go of him, nuzzling your cheek against the side of his head. words buzzing with warmth. ”hey, sugu.”

suguru only squeezes you tighter, content to have you in his arms. finally, his world makes sense again. all he can do is bask in your voice, warmth, scent — he’s just so enamored by it all. almost in a trance, heartstrings dancing along to the beat of your presence, your very existence, that appears to him as something almost angelic. soft and familiar, something that feels right at home when it’s tucked into his embrace. where he can keep it safe.

”missed you…” he murmurs, sleepy, smearing an open mouthed kiss against the crook of your neck. ”i love you s’much…”

a chuckle. ”i love you too,” you echo, running a steady hand over his back. your voice is laced with something teasing, but awfully fond. ”you really are drunk, aren’t you?”

”mm…” he only hums, cheek pressed flush against your soft skin. ”’m sorry…” he mumbles, stifling a yawn. he sounds a little guilty, and it makes you want to coo. pull his cheek a little.

instead, you laugh. amusement vowen into the bubbly noise. ”it’s fine, sugu. c’mon — let’s go home, alright?”

at that, satoru visibly reacts, placing his glass on the table with a soft clink before getting up to stretch. he grabs suguru’s discarded jacket, letting it hang off his arm as he walks over to the two of you.

”i’ll help you carry him,” he smiles, always so dependable. so ready to be of service. maybe a little too eager to carry suguru around like a sack of potatoes. 

a smile blooms on your face, and satoru gives you a playful wink. shoko just leans back in her seat, stretching idly. it feels like home with them there.

”i’ll stay here,” she hums, a faint grin tugging at her lips. ”he’s your problem now.”

”got it.” you meet her lidded eyes, sharing an amused look as satoru tries to coax suguru away from you, pulling at his cheek while he whines and clings to the fabric of your clothing.

finally, he relents, and you look back at the table with a grin. ”see you later, sho’.”

a smile is the only response you get, but it’s enough. it’s her, the same as always, still sipping from a glass of expensive whiskey and raising her hand in a silent see you. relaxed and cool, and so very lovely. 

with one arm over satoru’s shoulder and the other clinging to your hoodie, suguru stirs.

”shoko…” he groans, craning his head to look back at her, even as satoru makes a move to leave. ”don’t drink too much. and watch out for strangers…” 

he trails off, blinking drowsily, a protective tone to his voice. worried. awfully like him. neither you nor satoru can resist the chuckle you indulge in, but shoko just rolls her hazel eyes.

”i don’t need to hear that from you,” she scoffs, tinged with amusement and what you’re almost certain is embarrassment. there’s a fondness to her snark, one you’d never miss. 

(shoko will always be shoko. you know that she appreciates suguru’s concern, even if she doesn’t want to show it.)

”alright, c’mon,” satoru quips, slapping suguru’s back with a grin. ”there, there, big guy. let’s get you home, hm?”

just as you suspected, he doesn’t let you help, doing all the heavy lifting on his own. not breaking a single sweat, flaunting his strength as he hoists suguru up the steps — while you do nothing but follow, a light jacket hanging off your arm. 

cold midnight air embraces you, slathering your cheeks with the essence of summer as your shoes meet the asphalt. satoru smiles, a low exhale escaping him, dusting off his hands. ”there we go.”

suguru stumbles towards you, no longer caged in, slumping against your shoulder with a satisfied sigh. blinking slowly, as you link arms, his muddled senses adjusting to the outside world. a pleasantly blue sky, a sun long set, and a string of lamp posts to light up the street ahead of you. artificial fireflies, watching over the town you love so dearly.

you part your lips, and a soft exhale slips out, dripping with fondness. ”thanks, satoru,” you smile, meeting his gaze.

”don’t mention it,” he waves you off, but you know he appreciates it; always eager to be praised. ”can you bring him back by yourself?”

”yeah, we’ll be fine. it’s close, anyway. don’t worry.”

a hum buzzes in his throat, and his cobalt gaze drifts upwards, to bask in the starry sky. a moment passes, and then he’s looking back at you and suguru; a soft and earnest smile playing at his lips. so sincere you want to reach out, cup his cheek, make sure he knows how loved he is.

”i’ll go back to shoko, then,” he chirps. bubbly and graceful, giddy and playful. always so lovely. ”gotta make sure she stays out of trouble.”

a chuckle. you mirror his smile. ”of course.”

and with that, your precious best friend makes a move to return to the bar, taking a decisive step away from you. before he can get too far, though, a certain hand reaches out to hold onto his sleeve — keeping him still.

satoru turns around. blinking once, then twice, in confusion; faced with none other than suguru, still slumped against you. a little out of it, sleepy and disoriented, yawning quietly, but his eyes are as clear as ever. caring and sentimental. 

his gaze cuts to the bone of things. it’s something you’ve grown used to.

”thanks, satoru,” he murmurs, letting go of said man’s shirt. the words that spill from his lips are straightforward, a little tactless, but overflowing with earnest appreciation. ”you’re my best friend.”

a moment passes. the stars burn in silence.

satoru blinks.

then he sighs, with what you know is nothing more than feigned annoyance. masking his embarrassment, the same way shoko did, the same way suguru always does. your repressed, beloved little losers. 

”yeah, yeah. i got it,” he pats suguru’s shoulder, once, twice. not looking at him. ”you’re such a sap, you know that? geez.”

a grin crawls up to rest on your lips, fresh mischief blooming in your eyes. ”not gonna call him your best friend back?” you tease, a soft tilt of your head.

satoru gives you a glare, playful, one you can’t physically see from behind his shades but still somehow sense. ”don’t add fuel to the fire,” he grins, with a halfhearted flick to your forehead.

before you can bicker further, suguru yawns, loudly, closing his eyes and nuzzling into you. you share an amused look with satoru, until he shakes his head fondly.

”take care of him, alright?”

”i will. you guys have fun!”

and at last, satoru turns on his heel, coupled with a smile and a lazy wave. but suguru calls out to him once more, unwilling to part ways without saying his piece. so sentimental, so loving it comes to him like breathing.

”bye-bye, satoru,” he slurs, voice loud enough for the entire street to hear, tired and honest. raising his arm in a lazy wave. ”i love you!”

”go home already!” satoru shouts, descending down the steps with a flush to his cheeks that you’ll tease him for later. his soft laughter is carried away by the breeze, sweet and saccharine.

(satoru will always be satoru. you know that he loves suguru back, even if he doesn’t want to say it out loud.)

with a faint chuckle, melting into the summer air, you tug on suguru’s arm. ”alright,” you chirp, looking up at him. ”let’s go!”

he seems a little more awake now, at least, trying to match your steps. meanwhile, you do what you can to support his weight; he’s stumbling a bit, but you don’t mind. if anything, his weight is a comfort, your arms linked together like a lucky charm. a safe harbour.

suguru is acting kind of like a big puppy, gazing at you with hearts in his eyes. a little meek, clinging to you, trailing after you pliantly. he’s a little dizzy, still, and he needs you to get back home in one piece. it makes you puff out your chest, stand up straighter. makes you feel protective of your 6’2 boyfriend, all toned muscle and broad shoulders, the personification of scary dog privilege. but he needs you right now.

a soft bout of laughter spills into the air, as you try to ignore his heavy stare. it’s impossible, though — so you turn your gaze to meet his own, and he practically glows under the sound of your giggles, that cheeky smile you’re wearing. ”you okay, suguru?”

his eyes soften. silently, he runs a thumb over the knots of your knuckle, smoothing down your skin, thick fingers intertwined with yours. 

he looks deep into your eyes, and a soft hum of affirmation buzzes in his throat. 

”i’m just so happy,” he grins, with a sincerity that has your heart doing flips inside your ribcage. it flutters, flutters, flutters, in the wake of his unbridled joy. it buzzes like it wants to break out.

suguru has this dreamy look on his face, one you can do nothing but admire, painted over with fluorescent moonlight and pure summer bliss. one that reminds you a little of high school rooftops, midnight road trips, what it means to be in love.

you nudge him, softly, with the arm that’s tangled up in his own. tilting your head, teasing words on the tip of your tongue. ”you know, i never took you for a sappy drunk.”

suguru's only response is a cute little mmrn, steps heavy as he leans on you for support. trying his best to carry himself, not wanting to inconvenience you, but it’s just a little tough. especially when he feels this soft, this grateful — this blessed.

a giddy, dreamy smile tugs at his lips. his amber gaze travels up, towards the little pale dots of star clusters all across the night sky, gleaming like milk poured over rich coffee. then he exhales; a soft, blissful little sound. ”i’m so lucky.”

a moment passes, silently. in the distance, cicadas buzz. with a patient smile, you admire him, the reflection of starlight in his eyes. suguru has this forlorn look, etched into his expression, like he’s seeing something that isn’t quite there.

”i have satoru and shoko…” he mumbles, just loud enough for you to hear. as if he’s tasting the words on his tongue, as if he can’t quite believe them himself. that’s how lucky he feels, sometimes.

a nod. ”they love you a bunch, you know?”

(they do. they’re both horrible at saying it out loud, but you know they do. you know that they love suguru, just as much as he loves them, even if none of them are good at putting it into words. perhaps they don’t really even need to, in the first place.)

suguru mirrors the soft nod of your head, bangs falling over his eyes as he does. ”and i love them, too.” his smile grows. ”they’re my best friends.”

absently, you reach a hand out, brushing away the strands of hair obscuring his vision. and suguru stirs, his gaze shifting until it falls on you. like a moth to a flame. there’s something indescribable in his eyes, soft and heavy and tender and true.

”— and i have you.”

a stutter of your heartbeat, a jolt throughout your chest. his stare almost burns, but you can’t avert your gaze — suguru looks positively lovesick. admiring you with a dreamy gaze, as if he can’t believe you’re real. 

he reaches a hand out; cradling your face with one big palm, the rough pads of his fingers smoothing down your skin so very gently. smearing his fondness from your jaw to your cheekbone, so loving your breath hitches in the back of your throat. 

a soft, content sigh spills into the air, like a prayer that doesn’t need any words. his smile is serene.

”my angel.” 

as the words fall, that peaceful smile of his changes shape, shifting into a big, giddy grin. it lights up his whole face. a chuckle leaves his lips, content and delighted. ”i’m the luckiest guy in the world.”

and for a moment, you fear that your heart will stop beating entirely. frozen, listening to the lullaby of your heartbeat resounding in your ears. 

suguru has always been frighteningly good at flustering you — but isn’t this a little unfair? you clear your throat, hoping to regain some composure. it’s tough, though. your words could never measure up to his, could never flow as freely, but they’re honest. wholly and thoroughly. and maybe that’s enough. 

”we’re the luckiest in the world, too, then,” you echo, smiling, words barely above a whisper. willing yourself to meet his gaze. ”since we have you.”

suguru looks into your eyes. there’s starlight inside them, he thinks, shining brightly, gleaming in the dark. with the hazy filter of intoxication clouding his mind, it’s all he can think. you’re his northern star, his lighthouse. his one and only saving grace.

(you’re so, so pretty.)

a pause. after a silent moment, spent etching your features into his retinas, suguru tilts his head. his expression is unreadable.

— he boops your nose.

you blink. once, twice, caught entirely off guard; and suguru giggles. soft, giddy little breaths falling from his lips like marbles, strewn over the sand of a warm beach. his eyes are crinkled at the edges, and his smile is sweet, meeting your surprised gaze with a honeyed coo. ”you’re so cute, baby.”

silence. you look up at him. 

then you sigh, exasperated, more flustered than you’d like to admit. god. okay, he’s really out of it. for some reason, you still thought you could get a good one-liner in, but of course he had to ruin that by being a little tease.

you grab onto his bicep. gaze fixed straight ahead, giving it a tug. your steps are more decisive now, and suguru follows you happily. ”alright, alright. c’mon,” you beckon, slightly gruff. ”we’re almost there.”

when you finally reach the familiar front door of your apartment, you exhale a deep sigh, laced with pure relief. limbs tired from dragging suguru up the stairs, mind muddled and sleepy and senses practically engulfed by a man still clinging to you like his life depends on it.

after fumbling with your keys and hearing the click of the lock, you take a victorious step over the threshold, and a familiar scent greets you. soothing, comforting, a blend between fresh laundry and leftover curry and blooming hydrangeas. filling your senses with a fervent kind of bliss. of course, suguru’s does the same; intimately intertwined with the scent of home. that everlasting, never-changing blend. 

with him clinging to you like this, it’s almost suffocating — but you truly don’t mind. suguru’s warm, and sweet, and being close to him like this makes you feel at peace. his hands rest on your hips, his jaw on your shoulder, and he adamantly refuses to let go of you for even a second. it’d be annoying if he wasn’t so cute, if he wasn’t suguru geto, if you weren’t so horrendously weak for him.

what you don’t know is that suguru has an agenda. one that isn’t just i want to hug the love of my life, although partially that as well. suguru has a plan, one he’s been absentmindedly dreaming of for the past five minutes; he’s a man on a mission.

but he’s patient. always has been, always for you. so he waits, and waits, for you to hang his jacket up, for you to kick your shoes off your feet. and when you’re finally, finally finished, suguru leans in to kiss you.

— you block his mouth with the palm of your hand.

a moment passes. silent, almost tense. in his stupor, suguru’s mind can’t quite seem to comprehend the situation before him; he doesn’t understand why he isn’t pressing a kiss to your lips, right now, why he’s kissing the skin of your palm. he doesn’t understand why you look so troubled, a faint guilt simmering in your eyes. he just doesn’t understand.

all he can do is blink, dumbly, surprised. a question written on his features clear as day. 

”well, it’s just…” you sputter, sheepishly. avoiding his gaze, a little guilty. ”you know. since you’ve been drinking, and all…”

and it hurts, you think. it hurts a lot more than it should. it hurts to reject him, hurts to see the way he deflates at your clarification. like a big kicked puppy. like you just threatened to throw him out into the street.

suguru removes your hand, gently, holding it in his own as he speaks. those amber eyes are downcast, and a soft pout rests on his lips. the sight alone feels like a dagger to your chest.

”but…” he frowns, voice awfully meek. he looks so sad. ”i wanna kiss you…”

a soft sigh leaves your lips, before you can think to hold it in. oh, he’s being so unfair. guilt clings to your mind, an itch you yearn to scratch, and all you want is to kiss his pout away. but you really, really don’t want to kiss his alcohol-soaked lips.

so you settle for the second best option.

”’m sorry, sugu,” you coo, reaching a hand out to cradle his cheek. he leans into your touch, still pouting, and you tug a little at his bottom lip. wasting no time in closing the narrow distance between you.

the kisses you press against his skin are soft. peppering kisses all across his face; ghosting your lips along his jaw, trailing towards his cheekbones, and settling on his forehead. tiny little pecks, wherever you can reach. your voice is soft, muffled into his skin between butterfly kisses. ”tomorrow, okay?” 

and suguru seems to brighten up a little, melting under the contact, exhaling in pure bliss. he fervently returns the treatment, planting open mouthed kisses all over your face, respecting your wishes and avoiding your lips. they’re a little sloppy, but you don’t mind.

it does make you a little flustered, though. with his palms cradling your face, engulfing you, there’s nothing you can do except drown in his affection, the love he showers you with. it tickles — and suguru’s smile only grows, at the sound of your soft giggles. his cheeks are starting to hurt.

the state he’s in is just a little bit hazy. despite his initial dejection, he no longer minds that he can’t feel your lips against his, disappointment warded off by your smile and laughter alone. he thinks you’re so, so cute, and all he wants is to kiss you forever. 

but you have other plans.

and before you know it, you’re both curled up in bed, limbs all tangled up beneath the blankets, bodies pressed together as suguru cages you in. he squeezes you tightly, hugging you close, practically melting into you. usually, it’d be so easy to fall asleep like this. with suguru cradling you, covering your body with his own, warm and safe. he’s like a furnace. 

but right now, it’s a little tough. you’re kept awake by open mouthed, ticklish kisses pressed against your skin, supplied by the love of your life. it’s sweet, but he’s being far too distracting — as soon as your consciousness begins to fade into the fuzzy realm of sleep, he leaves a sloppy kiss against your collarbone, and you’re jolted awake once more. 

”suguuu,” you whine, dragging his name out with childish inclination. ”we need to sleep…”  

”sorry,” he only murmurs, muffled into your skin. he doesn’t stop, though, planting a wet smooch on your cheek, and then another. you squirm a little in his hold, and he emits a shaky breath. ”jus’ love you so much…”

suguru knows that he needs to stop. he knows that both of you need to sleep, that you need to rest up. that he needs to recover from the intoxicated state he’s fully aware that he’s in — but he just can’t seem to follow through with it. every cell in his body burns with a certain desire, a need to shower you in love, and it’s unendurable. with every kiss, every giggle he manages to pull from your lips, suguru’s heart fills up just a little more. 

your presence surrounds him, like a weighted blanket, and he clings to it with a desperation he never knew before you. 

in the midst of his feverish consciousness, you’re all his muddled mind can think about. the way you fit together with him like a puzzle piece, like he was formed in the shape of someone meant to hold you. like you were formed in the shape of his embrace. with you pressed up against him, limbs tangled with his, everything feels so right.

but it’s so overwhelming. 

you’re so, so close, so close he’s practically engulfed by your scent, your touch, everything that makes his heart burn with devotion. it’s beating so viscerally in his ribcage, stirring the protective instinct inside him; he just wants you to stay close, by his side, wants to keep you safe and happy. wants to make you feel loved. 

suguru’s heart feels wet and raw and bare, fully exposed for you to see. beating just for you.

with the alcohol inside his veins, and the nostalgia of the summer evening on his mind, everything weighs on him just a little too heavily. everything feels just a little too much. every sensation, every emotion, every sappy thought. all of it together is almost too much for him to handle.

all he can think of is you. how lucky he is, to have met you, to have gotten to know you. how much you’ve changed him, changed him for the better, how much of him is directly tied to your existence.

suguru never truly appreciated his name until you came into his life. it was always no more than a simple fact, a gift from his parents that he hadn’t asked for. something natural, that he didn’t question, didn’t think about. 

but you say his name with such warmth.

he wants to hear you say it, over and over again, forever. suguru — in that sweet, lovely voice of yours. better yet, just sugu, a cutesy, silly nickname he could never bring himself to actually hate. he just wants to hear you call out to him, with that warmth of yours, the one that never fails to soothe him. no matter how tired he is, how stressed. how much everything else weighs down on him. 

at the end of the day, he’s simply your sugu. and that’s all he ever really wants to be.

with a hazy filter clouding his senses, coaxing him into closing his eyes, suguru should give in. he should fall asleep, let you fall asleep. but he can’t bring himself to stop thinking about it; he just loves you so wholly. who you are, what you do. as an equal, an individual, a little galaxy tucked into a body made of flesh and blood. no matter what you’re doing, no matter where you are. 

and right now, you’re here, with him. curled up in bed, in your shared apartment, inhaling the same air, exhaling at the same time. by his side, when you could be anywhere else in the world.

his heart is yours. that’s all suguru can bring himself to think, the only coherent thought he can cling to and echo in his head. his heart is yours. forever and ever. 

he makes no attempt to stop the tears from pooling in his eyes, even as he feels them cling to his lashes, even as his breathing clogs up in the back of his throat. they’re proof of his devotion, his carefully nurtured love. growing over the years, into something almost sacred, a kind of faith. something so fervent he wouldn’t dare deny himself of feeling it.

he can’t hold in a faint sniffle, either, just barely audible. one that breaks your heart in two. it aches, aches, aches. suguru is gazing at you with glassy eyes, a sight you aren’t used to seeing — but he also looks so genuinely glad. his tears aren’t ones of sadness. you know, because you know him. 

”aw, honey…” you coo, the pads of your fingers reaching out to cradle his cheek. despite your efforts, your voice wavers when you speak, little more than a whisper. ”don’t cry... you’ll make me cry, too.”

suguru places his larger palm over yours, choking on another sniffle. the sight renders you completely helpless — you want so desperately to stop his tears from falling, but a part of you is too touched to speak. too mesmerized by how beautiful he is, translucent tears illuminated by softly flickering moonrays, lashes glimmering like shooting stars.

all you can do is smooth a thumb right under his eye, wiping away a stray tear with enough tenderness to stitch his heart back together. suguru emits a shaky breath.

”’m sorry,” he sniffles, closing his eyes. nuzzling into the crook of your neck. ”i’m just so happy… love you so much… you mean so, so much to me, i…”

an exhale, a little breathless, tears soaking through the material of the shirt you’re wearing. his shirt. that realization makes him cry even more, a shuddering breath that shatters like glass when it drops from his tongue. 

and then, in a voice so quiet you barely hear it, a soft whisper worth a million words:

”i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

and it hurts. your heart aches so sincerely, thorns curling around your ribcage, because suguru is crying, and he’s telling you all this. with such an honest intonation that you don’t dare doubt him, even for a second. heavy thumps of blood rush through your veins; he’s still clinging to you, sniffling into your neck, and you’re so in love with him that you almost can’t comprehend it.

all you can do is press a kiss to his shoulder, chaste and tender, and hug him just a little tighter. echoing his words, in earnest, desperately trying to keep your voice from breaking apart. ”i love you, too. more than anything.” a sigh, full of wonder. little butterfly kisses scattered across the expanse of his neck. ”you mean the world to me. honestly.”

with a smile against his skin, you hope so tenderly that the soft kisses will comfort him, will stop the tears from falling. 

”my sweet boy,” you murmur, lovingly, because he is. the sweetest boy you’ll ever know. suguru shudders when you press your lips against his jaw. ”i’m so, so lucky.”

with the combined efforts of your kisses, the alcohol slumbering inside his veins, and the tears running down his cheeks, suguru begins to feel awfully tired. sinking into sleep’s embrace, like a sailor lost at sea. comforted by the glimmer of a lighthouse, just out of reach.

everything feels right. he’s safe, and happy, and in love. so hopelessly, blissfully in love.

the exhaustion creeps up on him, tidal waves embracing a shore, beckoning him into closing his weary eyes. a yawn leaves his lips, and he shifts a little in your hold. you’re smoothing down the back of his head, almost protectively, and sleep is only a flicker away for the both of you. with the last of his strength, suguru snuggles just a little further into you, nose pressed up against your neck, close enough that he feels the flutter of your heartbeat. 

”wanna be with you forever,” he murmurs, sleepily, stifling another bout of yawns. his smile is sweet and dreamy. ”gonna marry you one day…”

a moment passes.

for a second, you think your heart does actually cease beating entirely.

swallowing a gulp, you allow yourself the luxury of an inhale — and fresh air fills your lungs. grounding. all you can hear is the rapid beating of your own heart, heavy thumps reverberating in your ears. warmth flows through your entire body.

marry.

the word is spoken so casually, so sincerely, as if he’s said it countless times before. as if he’s repeated it, over and over again in his mind, just to get used to the idea. as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. marriage. something so foreign, so scary, enough to send shivers down every narrow of your skeleton. such a large step to take. 

(but suguru says it with such tenderness.)

”… okay,” you whisper, at last. breathless. ”i’ll be waiting, then.”

there’s nothing else to say. you don’t know if suguru is even conscious enough to hear you, let alone understand the full weight of your words, of his own words. but you don’t mind. 

a soft smile lingers on your lips, as you stroke his hair, mind hazy and limbs heavy. nuzzling your cheek against the side of his head, full of affection. dripping from your hands down to the column on his throat, through his windpipe, down to his heart.

”goodnight, sugu.” you press a kiss to his messy hair, tender and chaste. ”i love you.”

an incoherent mutter leaves his lips, in response, one you can’t quite make out — but you don’t need to. because you already know what it means, in the same way you know that the sky is blue.

(an echo buried deep within his subconscious, voiced without effort, as easy as breathing.

i love you, too.)

the sizzling of a pan and the whirring of a coffee machine form a beautiful morning symphony, bouncing off the walls of your kitchen. to your ears, and your still sleepy brain, it’s a soothing sound — coaxing soft little melodic hums from the depths of your throat.

with such a tantalizing aroma in the air, a blend between espresso and pancake batter, you can’t help but buzz with a mellow, groggy kind of joy.

honestly, you're beginning to understand suguru’s fondness for the morning hours. waking up to his soft snores and content expression was more than enough to give you the energy you needed to get out of bed; all sleepy and relaxed and pretty, with hazy morning sunrays kissing up his bare skin, caressing his messy bedhead. 

a rare sight, awfully precious. a part of you wanted to stay in bed and admire him all morning, but the thought of taking care of him coaxed you into leaving. it’s the least you could do, really — after seeing him so sincere, so open and vulnerable. 

hopefully, his headache won’t be too brutal when he wakes up. you left some hangover pills on the nightstand, courtesy of shoko’s advice: just get him ibuprofen and coffee. works like a charm. are you a little worried about her nonchalance? maybe. but you trust her judgement. they’re a handful, but you love them — even when they’re drunk or hungover. 

which is why you’re standing in the kitchen, engulfed by the morning sunlight, in front of a sizzling pan. trying your very best not to burn the pancakes you’re making, patiently waiting for the coffee to be done. 

in your blissful stupor, caught up with thoughts of suguru and breakfast and forevers, you don’t notice another presence coming up behind you.

two arms wrap around your waist, and a jaw attaches itself to the curve of your shoulder. you startle, a little, jolting at the contact — but then you recognize that telltale scent, the familiar weight of his arms, and immediately melt into the embrace.

suguru breathes out a raspy chuckle, amused at your surprise. 

a sigh slips from your lips, content. ”good morning,” you hum, placing the palm of your hand on his forearm. suguru shifts a little, getting more comfortable as he leans against you. tenderly, not too much weight. he’s delicate like that.

”g’morning,” he rasps, leftover sleep clinging to the syllables. the usual smoothness of his voice is coupled with a deep, rough kind of tilt, one that always accompanies it in the morning. your heartbeat picks up, silently.

suguru smiles. dreamy, giddy, because you just looked so pretty, in the morning light, hair still a tad messy. humming happily, swaying slightly side to side. so irresistible. he’s beginning to understand why you love sleeping in so much; getting to wrap his arms around you like this, instead of the other way around, doesn’t feel bad at all.

he squeezes you just a little tighter, hoping it’ll convey his gratitude. there are holes in his memory, last night no more than a blurry sequence of still images, but some bits and pieces remain intact. he remembers getting drunk in a way he hasn’t since he made that bet with satoru back in high school — and he remembers that you were there to take care of him.

a smile tugs at his lips. a little giddy, butterflies erupting in his chest. he’s so damn lucky.

”thanks for taking care of me yesterday, sweetheart.”

a hum. you smile, sheepishly, patting his arm. ”don’t need to thank me for that. how do you feel?”

suguru smiles. you feel it, against your skin, a chaste kiss on your neck. ”better.”

the low purring of the coffee machine has stopped, but the sizzling of the pan remains. from beyond the opened windows, you can hear the chirping of cicadas, melodic and serene. singing a summery tune. both of you soak in the preciousness of the moment, the fragile silence, before suguru breaks it.

”everything from last night is kinda fuzzy,” he admits, clearing his throat. just a tad sheepish. you simply hum, a low noise of acknowledgement, and he continues. ”i don’t really remember anything… ’m sorry, baby. i hope i didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

your lips curl up into a tiny smile. such a sweetheart — always worrying about you. always so caring and attentive. eager to reassure him, you smooth over the skin of his arm with your thumb. ”not at all.”

then you’re taking a couple steps back, moving from the stove, and suguru follows. you turn yourself around to meet his gaze, his arms still attached to your waist, a comforting weight.

a grin blooms on your lips, a little teasing, and a flicker of mischief shines in your eyes. ”you were cute, you know.”

suguru blinks, before emitting a low chuckle. a raspy little thing. ”was i?” he drawls, as you brush his bangs away from his face. 

”mhm,” you chirp, eyes crinkled as they meet his own. you just can’t help but want to tease him, a little bit. just a smidge. ”kept going on and on about how much you love us.”

hands moving to cup his face, you squeeze his cheeks softly. and suguru lets you, too tired to resist, only giving you a lazy raise of his brow. there’s a sense of amusement in his eyes, and something in you knows he likes the attention. your teasing words buzz with endearment, akin to a purr. ”my sweet lil’ sugu.”

all he does is lean into your touch, allowing himself to melt into the tenderness of the physical contact. even as you pull at his cheek, earning you a very gentle pinch to your side. but he lets you have your fun. you’re warm, and sweet, and he’s so in love with you he’d probably let you tug his body around however you please.

still, your words leave him just slightly perplexed. he’s still smiling with half-lidded eyes when he asks you to elaborate, basking in the feeling of your thumb smoothing over his cheekbone. ”us?”

your grin widens, by a tad, something deeply amused glimmering in the depths of your iris. ”yep,” you answer, popping the p. for some reason, suguru dreads the teasing edge to your voice. ”me, and shoko, and satoru.”

a moment passes. he stiffens, for a second or two, mind processing the words. then he groans, softly, squeezing his eyes shut.

it makes you laugh, soft and amused, and he can’t help but smile along. despite the dreadful realization you present him with. no wonder he was met with so many notifications when he tapped at the screen of his phone — he didn’t read through any of them, but now he’s apprehensive to do so at all. shoko and satoru can be so goddamn obnoxious when they feel as if they have blackmail on him.

he can see it now, in his mind’s eye; shoko nagging him to run her errands, satoru reminding him of his words every time they have a slight disagreement. 

(grab me a coffee. three shots of espresso, one cube of sugar. got it?)

slacker.

(we both know i’m right. don’t be so stubborn, suguru! it’s okay to be wrong sometimes.)

asshole.

(c’mon. you said you loved me, right?

so mean. and here i thought you loved me!)

idiots.

(he does love them. more than anything. even when they’re being absolutely insufferable.)

suguru just sighs, deep and fatigued, already anticipating his doom. ”they’re never gonna let me live it down, are they?”

a giggle slips from your lips, and his heart flutters helplessly. ”probably not. my condolences.”

another sigh. it only makes your smile widen. there’s something awfully delighted, in your eyes, as you cradle his face in your hands. ”well, i thought you were very sweet!”

”yeah, yeah…” he mutters, vaguely amused. placing one of his large palms over your hand, where it rests on his cheek. ”i won’t be doing that again anytime soon.”

a chuckles bubbles up from within your throat. ”aww,” you pout, giving way to a teasing grin. ”that’s a shame. i wanted to hear you talk about how much you love me again.”

suguru blinks. 

then he smiles. a very particular smile, characteristic, one you’ve come to associate solely with him. resting somewhere in the intersection between a soft grin and a teasing smirk. a flicker of mischief shines in his eyes, and you realize your mistake.

you can tease suguru all you want; but he'll always turn the tables on you, at the end of the day.

”oh?” he chuckles, fondly, thumb smoothing over the lines of your hand. his eyes gleam, looking straight into yours, shining with something mildly devilish. ”i don’t need to get drunk to tell you that, baby.”

in a smooth motion, one you can’t help but silently envy, suguru intertwines his fingers with yours and brings your hand to his lips. he never once breaks eye contact, gaze heavy as he basks in your flustered expression, planting a soft kiss against your knuckle. reverent.

”i love you. more than anything,” he purrs, lips still lingering on your skin. warm enough to burn. ”you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

a pause. heat crawls up your spine, and a flush rises to your cheeks. you couldn’t stop it if you tried.

”my everything,” he continues, intent on flustering you as much as humanly possible. voice low and smooth, honeyed and deep, and worst of all; terribly earnest. lips trailing over your knuckles, against every knot, so soft that you barely feel it. ”my entire world.”

”okay, okay!” you sputter, an embarrassed hue to your cheeks, your gaze landing on the windowpane to your right. his stare is just too heavy, too deeply in love. overwhelming. ”point taken. nevermind.”

suguru laughs, genuine and full. warm and amused, deep and real, and you catch yourself thinking that you don’t want to go a single day without hearing it. even if it’s at your own expense.

a coo rests on his the tip of his tongue, but he bites it back, opting to lean forward instead. he trails the pads of his fingers along your jaw, touch like a butterfly, lifting your chin up ever so slightly. then he closes the distance between you. 

in your throat, your breath hitches.

— but he doesn’t kiss you. suguru stops right in front of your lips, so close you can feel his breath on your skin, taking a moment to simply look into your eyes. and despite how flustered the close proximity makes you, you can’t bring yourself to look away. heart fluttering madly, a string of staccatos against your parted ribs.

a tilt of his head. amber eyes gleaming, crinkled and fond. ”can i kiss you, now?” he asks, grinning softly. hand smoothing down your hip, big and warm, teasing. ”i made sure to brush away all the alcohol. or do you still not want to?”

you pause. 

”hey, what happened to not remembering anything?” you pout, narrowing your eyes. the corner of suguru’s bottom lip twitches upwards.

but he only shrugs, feigning nonchalance, a playful glint in his eyes. ”guess i was just that disappointed.”

a giggle flows from your lips. he drinks it in, gazing at you with pure contentment.

”alright, alright... c’mere,” you coo, smile honeyed and sweet. tracing your fingertips along his jaw, brushing a silky strand of hair behind his ear. you take in the sight of him, meeting his lovesick gaze. he squeezes at your hips softly, a little impatient — so you finally lean in.

suguru’s lips are warm, when they meet yours. they taste like sunlight, devoid of any alcoholic flavour, just like he so kindly assured you of. and it’s a little amusing, the thought of him in front of the bathroom sink — desperately scrubbing his teeth, just to get his kissing privileges back. such a dork. 

he’s your dork, though.

suguru sighs into the kiss, smiling giddily, satisfied at last. a sound you can’t help but mirror. he deepens it, ever so slightly, fingers squeezing gently at the plush of your waist. a hum of approval buzzes in your throat, and his smile only grows.

when he pulls away, that smile is all you can see, along with the ever so slight flush to his cheeks. a hint of peach dusting his skin, framed by the sunrays caressing his jaw, highlighting his handsome features. breathtaking. 

before you have a chance to protest, he’s leaning in again, to press one more chaste kiss to your lips. your heartbeat picks up.

everything finally feels just right.

the warmth of the sizzling pan, the fragrance of freshly made coffee and now-burnt pancakes. the light of the morning sun, scattered across the open space of your apartment, splotches of life painting everything in a heavenly glow. the love in the air, all soft and light and comfortable.

domestic bliss. with suguru, who never seems to change, no matter how many years go by. if you could live in this moment for the rest of your life, forever and ever, you’re sure you’d die happy.

and wow, is that a heavy word. forever. 

(but suguru makes it feel so very, very light.)

forever feels a lot more real, like this. cradled in the midst of a drowsy morning, bumping elbows with the man you love most, after getting to take care of him in his most vulnerable state. accepting every part of him, and having him accept you just as fervently. 

just this moment alone is worth far more than you could ever comprehend. 

suguru, with his warm hands, his familiar embrace. your shared laughter, bouncing off the walls of the kitchen as you try in vain to save your scorched pancakes. and his smile, his fervent devotion, coaxing him into eating them even though they’re burnt at the edges and don’t taste even a quarter as good as his. because you made them, for him, and that makes them taste sweeter than anything.

you stare at him, from across the table, admiring the sight you’ve grown so used to; suguru, with his slightly tousled hair, mug in hand and smile painted on his handsome face. drowned in sunlight, pink petals flitting in through the opened window. you don’t want a single day to ever pass without you seeing this. what does that mean, exactly? you think you know. 

it means forever.

(forever, forever, forever. what a pretty word.)

marriage. you think of it, again, let it linger in the depths of your skull, bounce around until you grow just a little more used to it. and it’s a scary thought, for sure. a terrifying thought, even, something so foreign that it makes you nervous. but you truly wouldn’t mind doing this forever — not one bit. not if it’s with him.

and, unbeknownst to you, maybe that promise of forever isn’t all that far off.

maybe it’s only a couple rooms away, hidden within the depths of a certain drawer, until suguru finally gets the courage to bring it out. and maybe, just maybe — that day isn’t all that far off, either.

(suguru smiles at you, from across the table. he thinks you look ethereal, sipping from your morning coffee, blinking tiredly. so sweet and angelic.

all he can think of is forever.)

[megxplryxb]

Someone to Save You

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Mostly fluff, slight mention of death (Billy), mention of violence (evil Russians), no use of y/n, set in Season 3.

Notes: Short fic that’s been unfinished in my drafts for far too long and I got tired of seeing it sitting there judging me.

"I guess we're gonna have to find new jobs now huh?" Robin laughs anxiously, brows raised, eyes wide as she tries her best to lighten the mood while you both sit in the back of an ambulance watching on as Hawkins finest attempt to extinguish the flames currently engulfing what remains of the Starcourt mall. It was clear the two of you were still visibly shaken up, trying to come to terms with everything that had happened in the last twenty four hours and a part of you wondered if you were still tripping from the drugs you’d been injected with earlier because there was no way you had actually fought a monster like creature from another dimension back in the food court, let alone gotten kidnapped and held hostage by an army of Russian soldiers.

The sound of sirens echoing throughout the parking lot made you wince as your head pounded in agony from the beating you’d taken at the hands of the guards during their unsuccessful interrogation of yourself and Steve. Looking down to inspect yourself, you see your Scoops uniform covered in blood and vomit, your legs and arms covered in cuts and bruises and the bottom of your lip split wide open, making you wonder how the fuck you had actually managed to make it out in one piece.

It was only supposed to be for fun, trying to translate that stupid Russian code. Something to do to pass the time during your shifts at Scoops Ahoy, a form of entertainment in between having to serve bratty children and stuck up parents their ice cream. It wasn’t meant to end up with you and Steve being beaten to a bloody pulp or with the mall burning down and it certainly wasn’t meant to end with the death of Billy Hargrove. Unfortunately, there was much more going on beneath the surface of Hawkins, Indiana than you could have ever imagined and somehow you’d managed to get yourself directly caught in the crossfire.

"Yeah, it looks like it." You eventually mutter, not really listening to your friend as she rambles on about how the government was going to cover all of this up, long zoned out, too focused on your handsome coworker to care about any cover up story.

Your eyes had been glued to Steve Harrington since the paramedics helped him to another ambulance across the lot to get checked out. Dustin Henderson was standing by his side as always, refusing to leave his friend and hero alone. His face and presumably his body were badly battered after the punishment he had taken during your time in the Russian base, trying his best to protect you and keep you safe. Steve had pleaded with the guards to let you go, promising he’d tell them everything they wanted to know once they guaranteed your safety but you refused to abandon him and in the end, you both suffered the consequences until Robin, Erica and Dustin had come to your eventual rescue.

Watching Steve get knocked unconscious had absolutely terrified you. His lifeless body unresponsive on the floor as you screamed for him to wake up, to move, to do anything just to let you know he was alive. When he finally came to, you wrapped yourself around him, sobbing uncontrollably into his chest with relief when he mumbled that he was ‘ok’, even managing to tease you for being a blubbering mess over him when you always claimed to hate him.

It was true, you did hate him back in High School. Couldn’t stand him or his shitty friends and the way they believed they were actual fucking royalty. But then you graduated, hoping to forget the trauma of Hawkins High, got a job working in Scoops Ahoy and to your utter horror, Steve Harrington was behind the counter wearing a god damn sailor outfit that didn’t even fit him right. Of course, Robin tried to tell you that things were different now, that he wasn’t the same asshole from school. His ‘King’ title long relinquished and his trust fund completely confiscated and in your eyes, it was karma and karma was a bitch. Admittedly, you were also a bitch, refusing to believe he’d actually changed his ways, giving the cold shoulder, throwing a harsh comment whenever the opportunity presented itself. It’s not like he didn’t deserve it and Steve too gave just as good as he got, annoying you on a daily basis, ruining every possible chance you had of a date when someone tried to ask you out, spilling ice cream on your uniform and just making a total nuisance of himself around you.

It’s only when his Dad arrived into the parlour one evening to collect him that you really felt sorry for Steve. His BMW had been in the garage and his Dad walked in, tossing him some clothes to change into before he left the mall, not wanting anyone to see his son “looking like an idiot”. You don’t know why seeing Steve being ridiculed and humiliated by his own Father mad you angry but it did. You could still remember the look on Steve’s face when it happened and a part of you wanted to defend him, to pull him into you and hug him but that would have been weird back then. So you decided to give him a break after that night, finally getting to know him after a longer than usual shift, both of you stuck cleaning up after a birthday party and you realised Robin was right. He had changed. He was kind and sweet and somehow he had six kids who absolutely adored him and the longer you were around him, you couldn’t help but start to adore him too.

“It’s okay to admit that you care about him, y’know?” Robin whispers, nudging your shoulder, shaking you from your thoughts of Steve. “Dingus is a good guy and it’s pretty obvious he cares a lot about you.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Robin.” You laugh dismissively, trying to avoid the conversation completely because maybe you weren’t fully ready to admit your feelings to yourself yet.

“Oh please! You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re totally into each other.” She states but you shake your head defensively, hoping it was too dark for her to see the tints of pink on your cheeks.

“No, it’s not like that. I mean, Steve could barely stand to be around me a couple of weeks ago. There’s no way he has actual feelings for me.” You assert but it does little to dissuade Robin who’s had a front row seat to your constant bickering over the last couple of months and while it seemed like you both truly despised each other at the beginning, it became clear to her that you and Steve were hiding behind your real feelings and the last few days only made it all the more obvious.

“Come on, I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he gets totally jealous every time Jason Carver comes in to flirt with you. He tries to act like he doesn’t care but his face gives him away every time. Not to mention how happy he was when you fell asleep on his shoulder in that damn elevator, poor guy couldn’t stop gazing at you.” She chuckles as Erica walks towards you both.

“You’re talking about Harrington right? Dustin said he’s totally in love with you and since I’ve spent the last twenty four hours stuck with your insane asses, I’m inclined to agree with him.” The younger Sinclair smirks, folding her arms. You try your best to ignore them both, reverting your gaze back towards the direction of Steve who’s already looking right at you. Dustin is pointing your way, speaking passionately and although you can’t hear what he’s saying, you assume it’s about you because Steve quickly slaps his hand away before rolling his eyes at the younger boy.

“See?” Robin nudges you again. “He keeps looking over here. Just go talk to him, please? Put us all out of our misery.” She begs, giving you puppy dog eyes as Erica whistles at Dustin to call him over, giving him a small thumbs up as he grins widely and starts to make his way over.

“Why do I feel like I’ve just been set up?” You grit your teeth, glaring at your friends.

“Maybe because you have been.” Robin smiles sweetly, shoving you forward as you begin to walk towards Steve. Your stomach twists as you get closer to the boy, hoping you don’t look as anxious as you feel. If everyone else could tell you had feelings for him, wasn’t it likely he knew too?

“If you came over here to tell me I look like shit, you're too late, Henderson already beat you to it.” Steve jokes, looking at you through his one good eye, the other badly swollen as he holds an ice pack to his face, wincing a little from the cool contact.

“Relax Harrington, you’re still annoyingly pretty. I just wanted to make sure you were doing ok.” You say, taking a seat beside him on the edge of the ambulance as he scoots over for you. "Besides, it’s not like I can talk right now, I'm sure I don’t look much better.” You sigh as he scans the injuries on your face, hating himself for getting you caught up in all of this mess.

“Nah, don’t worry. You’re still beautiful .” He smirks, his bruised face still achingly gorgeous in the night sky as you both lock eyes, sitting in silence for a moment before you finally remember to breathe.

Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington had just called you beautiful. You— the girl he once claimed to hate. The girl that used to drive him utterly insane in High School. Shit, in the few short months you’ve worked in Scoops Ahoy with Steve, you’ve heard him use many terms when talking about other girls, ‘hot’ ‘cute’ ‘pretty’ but he’d never used the word beautiful. Did he really think you were beautiful?

“I think you’re still high, Steve.” You blush, placing a strand of hair behind your ear as he shakes his head.

“No. For the first time in a while, I think I’m seeing things pretty clearly actually.” He affirms, too confidently for a guy who looks like he’s just gone ten rounds with Muhammad Ali.

“I’m not sure how that’s possible when you can’t see out of one eye right now but okay.” You giggle and he laughs with you.

“Come on, you know what I mean.” He playfully bumps your shoulder to grab your focus. His caramel eyes moving to your lips before looking back at you again and suddenly there’s a familiar tension in the air between you that you’ve refused to acknowledge before.

“Do I?” You ask, your voice barely above a whisper as you take the ice pack from him, holding it to the side of his face soothingly.

“God I hope so.” He breathes out, lifting his hand to cover yours. You can sense that he’s nervous and you almost want to laugh at how insane this all seems. The thought of Steve Harrington being nervous because of you would have been comical a couple of months ago but here you are, wanting nothing more than for him to kiss you stupid.

“I’m really fucking sorry for getting you guys mixed up in all of this.” He mutters, a guilty look across his face as he lowers his head.

“Hey, no. None of this is your fault Steve. Nobody could have known what was going to happen.” You try to comfort him but he can’t help feel slightly responsible.

“No, I should have known the reason those Russian’s came to Hawkins. I should have known that thing was back. God I’m so stupid!” He spits with anger in his voice, throwing his head back.

“You’re not stupid Steve.” You say softly, gently placing your hand on his thigh.

“Come on honey, you can say it, s’not like I don’t already know.” He half laughs and you hate that he thinks of himself that way, that he thinks you think of him that way.

“I don’t think that Steve, I never thought that. An asshole? Yes. Selfish? Hell yes. But not stupid, never stupid and after actually getting to know you—the real you and not the person you pretended to be in High School, I can safely say I was wrong about who I thought you were.” You admit, finally finding the courage to reach for his hand and intertwining your fingers with his.

“Oh yeah? What changed your mind hmm?” He asks, grinning as he turns his body fully towards you, rubbing his thumb over the delicate skin of your knuckles.

“I’m not sure really, maybe seeing how good of a babysitter you are, how protective you are of all your kids. That might have had a little something to do with it.” You tease as he chuckles with you. “Only a little huh?”

“Well, it might also have something to do with you saving my life. Trying to sacrifice yourself so they’d let me go. That was really brave Steve.” You whisper, trying to stop yourself from getting choked up.

“And it was really stupid of you to refuse.” Steve replies, immediately wiping away the tear he can see trailing down your cheek.

“Hey, if we go down, then we go down together. That’s the Scoops Ahoy! policy remember?” You remind him as he shakes his head at you, cupping your face, caressing the apples of your cheeks. “I don’t know what I’d have done if something bad happened to you. Every time they touched you, every time they even looked at you— god I wanted to fucking kill them.”

“Careful Harrington, it almost sounds like you care about me.” You breathe out, hypnotised by his full pink lips as you realise they’re inching incredibly closer to yours.

“Shit honey, what gave it away?” He smirks at you, finally closing the space between you as his lips gently meet yours in a warm embrace. You can hear the wolf whistles from across the lot, both of you laughing into the kiss as your friends cheer you on and you can’t help feel like a kid playing spin the bottle for the first time.

You eventually break apart when the medic coughs awkwardly, mortified that he’s had to stumble across a make out session as you both try your best to hide your embarrassment, your cheeks flushing bright red.

“Alright Mr Harrington, from what I can see, it looks like you’ve got a bit of a concussion there. I know you mentioned your parents are currently out of town so I think it might be best if we keep you in overnight at the hospital tonight.” The man says as you watch Steve sigh heavily.

“I’m sure I’ll be ok by myself, I’m not really the biggest fan of hospitals sir.” He admits, swallowing hard and you can’t help but be mad at his parents for once again being absent when he needed them.

“I’m really not comfortable with you being alone tonight Mr Harrington, I’d rather you come—“

“He won’t be alone. He can come stay with me, I’ll look after him.” You interrupt, taking Steve’s hand in yours, squeezing it reassuringly. His head turns to you immediately, eyes glossy and mouth open in awe of your kindness, he feels like his heart is going to explode.

“Are, are you sure?” He mumbles, blushing as you kiss him on the cheek.

“Of course I’m sure, I owe you for saving my life. Maybe it’s time, you let someone save you.”

[makuzume]

Toge Accidentally Uses His Cursed Speech on You (Part 4)

🔅content: Light angst/light comfort; gn!reader; no pronoun mentions

🔅synopsis: It's been 2 days since you last seen Toge... How do you go about this? What are you supposed to do? You wonder how to address the situation at hand...

🔅a/n: "What happened to posting part 4 soon" I ended up scraping the entire part 4 draft and remade it because I didn't like it :'D Thank you everyone for being so patient and putting up w my bs aaa Let me know if you want to be in the tags list and enable ur tagging :3

[JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3]

🔅Word Count: 2.2K

"...Should I... open it...?" You asked yourself quietly, looking down on your phone as you stared at the multiple notifications you received from Toge.

13 missed calls

31 new messegaes

All unopened, all unanswered.

Slowly, you hover your finger over to his chat box, however, you hesitate- quickly shutting off your phone and plopping down on the soft mattress where you sat.

While the rest of the Okkotsu family went out to watch the movies, you decided to stay in the house by yourself. "You should come...! I'm sure it will help lift your spirits." Mrs. Okkotsu offered, to which you kindly declined her offer.

You figured you needed some time to be alone for now, but the lack of presence in the house ended up cauing a deafening silence to fill the halls, creating more opportunities for you to overthink the recent events between you and Toge.

'...I wonder... what did he say...'

'...why am I so scared to read it...?'

Over the past two days, you've been comfortably staying over Yuta's family home in the city. But since Yuta wasn't there at the moment, his parents and sister have been kindly accomodating you the entire time.

You were incredibly embarassed and reluctant to stay over, afraid of becoming only a nuisance to the Okkotsu family, especially since current situation between you and Toge was not at all very dire, just an arguement between two lovers.

Fortunately, Yuta and his mother were understanding and very insistent that you were welcome for as long as you'd like. Afterall, you were also one of Yuta's closest friends.

Trying your best to not cause them too much trouble, you help out with minor chores like the dishes, setting up the table, throwing out the trash- but each time you do so, you were met with gentle scolding.

"We told you to rest! You're still very hurt!"

"No no no, you're a guest, put that down!"

"We are not letting you wash the plates. Go back to bed and lie down for a nap! We'll bring you some snacks later."

"Nonsense! You are not a burden! You are a good friend of Yuta, and he asked us to take care of you, so sit down and don't worry about us."

Though that did seem to reduce the amount of guilt you felt, you were still rather embarassed for staying over someone else's family home just to hide from an ongoing dispute with Toge. So, you figured you shouldn't overstay your welcome, at least.

You look at your phone once again, staring at Toge's contact name as you remember your last encounter with him.

Staring at the ceiling above, you allow the memories from the incident flood your mind once more- remembering the sorrow, the pain, the sadness....

The entire time you knew Toge, he had always felt like the safest person to be around with, and you trusted him more than anyone- be it about your safety or your feelings. Naturally, the shock from accidentally getting cursed would shaken you up quite a lot.

You were badly hurt, both physically and emotionally.

And even for a short moment, you even felt afraid of him for the first time.

A feeling you knew would devastate him if he knew.

As shy as you were to admit it, all you did the entire day after the incident was quiety cry inside the guest bedroom in Yuta's home.

You can say that you rather had mixed feelings about the whole thing. Not a moment has passed in which you weren't thinking about it.

At first, it was shock, then fear, followed by pain before sadness, eventually leading to worry- the feeling you were experiencing right now.

Why 'worry'? You think to yourself, curious as to why there was this sense of longing to see him despite the accident.

It was a strange feeling in your chest. Most certainly, you were still very much upset and hurt about what he had done to you, but still-

"...I wonder how he must feel right now..." You hug the pillow nearest to you closer to your chest, unable to stray away the concern you felt for him.

Perhaps it was the way he looked at you the moment he misused his speech on you. The way Toge's eyes expressed so much shock, the way his voice was filled with so much guilt and fear... You have never seen him act in such a way before, especially considering the fact that he was always the more calm and composed one between the two of you.

You couldn't get the desperate tone of his voice out of your head, and you frequently find yourself vividly remembering the panicked expression he displayed on his face.

"...He must be worried..." You whisper to the pillow you held tightly, your eyelids closing as you replay the events of the accident.

More than anyone, you understood him the most, and you knew that this must be really messing up his mind right now.

It was one of his deepest fears, hurting someome he loves unintentionally with his speech, and you knew how deep this sort of wound would cut him on the inside.

More so, there was also the fact that Toge had personally witnessed the tragic events that happened to his allies in Shibuya... not to mention the fact that he had also been heavily pinning the blame on himself for the death of innocent civilians' lives.... lives which he felt responsible of protecting, all because he led them to take shelter to the same area Sukuna had unleashed his Malevolent Shrine.

'Truly...' you thought.

'this must be really messing up his mind right now....'

You turn over to your side, eyes staring blankly into the empty air in front of you.

"...He was distant and acting different from what happened in Shibuya afterall... I know he didn't mean to hurt me..." you whispered quietly, trying to think of how to address the situation.

You sat up, your hand firmly grasping your phone, a hesitant but concerned tone evident in your voice "I... don't want to make him feel any worse than he already does..."

Without a doubt, Toge was always so good to you. So protective, so understanding, so kind, so loving...

He was always there for you at your lowest points... and you never even had the chance to return such comfort to him before, so you think to yourself:

'...it's my turn.'

Your previous attempt to aid his sorrow didn't end up so well, but that's why you were willing to try again; To try again for him.

He probably hasn't been consoled ever since the incindent in Shibuya either. You, Panda, Yuta, or even Maki hadn't heard from him the entire time, and that's considering that all of you are his closest friends.

You ponder about it, and then you realize he probably wouldn't have ended up hurting you by accident or behaving so distant towards everyone if he had just allowed himself to be comforted- to be held and be told 'it's okay.'

...And you couldn't help but want to be that person who does that for him.

The more you thought about this, the more you wanted to see him.

You already released all the shock, hurt, and sadness for the past few days through a few weeping sessions in the small guest room before, and you think it's about time to come out of hiding.

You try to gain back your composure.

"...I wonder where he is... I hope... he's not pushing himself." You glance at your wallpaper, looking at a picture of Toge holding up a silly little peace sign while he sat next to a cute little dog you randomly met on the street.

You couldn't help but chuckle softly for a moment, then, your smile slowly fades back to form a serious expression on your face.

You miss the smile in his eyes like in the photo.

The idea of him in such sadness, worry, and pain ended up hurting you just as much as well.

"...I should talk to him."

So, you unlock your phone, open messages, and look for his contact name once again.

His contact nickname and his silly little photo appear.

'Bonito Flakes'

"...There."

Just when you were about to tap his name, you paused.

"Uh... wait... what should I say...?"

You pull back your thumb from the screen, suddenly having a bit of a panic on how to address the situation.

"..How do I reach out to him...? What... did he text me..? Is he upset with me? Is he looking for me...?"

His last text was from yesterday night, so you weren't sure what should be the best mood to approach him at this moment.

Just then, as if fate had timed this moment perfectly, a notification suddenly pops up on the top of your screen.

1 new message from Bonito Flakes

You gasped, completely taken aback from seeing his name.

'Wait... I'm not ready...!!'

You panicked slightly, causing you to drop your phone on the hard wood floor by accident, a loud thump echoing throughout the room. Fortunately, the Okkotsu family still hasn't returned from their outing yet, otherwise, you'd give them another reason to be worried about you.

You sigh, picking it back up as you lightly shook your head to gain back your composure.

As you check your sceen, you see another text from Toge come in.

Then another.

And another.

It made you slightly nervous but curious as to what his multiple texts were saying right now, and it sort of made you even more worried to know what he sent.

Is he sad? Does he need you? Is he just reaching out? Is he leaving the school? Does he want to distance himself from you?

"I'll... wait a little..."

Ultimately, you decided to let him finish sending his messages before you view it.

He sent quite a handful of texts, and it took a while before the messages stopped coming in. But just to be sure, you waited for a few minutes in case he had any late follow ups.

"I'll.... wait a little more..." You whisper to yourself as you stare at the phone in front of you, hoping to view his messages during a time when he's offline- You just wanted to make sure there was enough time for you to process and react to his texts without the pressure of him waiting for your response.

But the green dot next to his profile picture was still lit up, meaning, that he would be able to immediately see your replies the moment you send it.

But you would prefer he only sees it AFTER you're done sending your responses.

Sighing heavily, you whisper once more '...I guess I'll wait again...'

You check again after a few minutes, it was still green. So you wait again.

More time had passed but still- the green dot remained.

You wait again.

It was all you could think about for the past few hours as you move back and forth from checking your phone to lying down, staring into nothing...

Untul finally, at hour three, the green dot turns dim.

And with that, you were left with no excuse to delay opening your inbox any longer. "...alright... here we go.... I guess..."

With a hefty sigh and a single tap of your finger, you open his inbox.

Your eyes widened suddenly, immediate shock at the realization.

With a quickened pace, you hurridly limped towards the nearest window, the cast on your leg creating a slight scratching sound as you drag it across the floor.

Pulling away the curtains, you scan the street below in search for the white haired boy.

You squint your eyes slightly, trying to adjust your eyes to the darkness of the night.

Then, you see him.

"He... he's still there...?"

On the opposite side of the street, there sat Toge on the small pavement across from Yuta's house.

His head rested on his arm and his head hung low, perhaps taking a bit of a nap as he waited for your reply.

A wave of guilt suddenly washes over you as you realize how long you've made him wait out in the cold for a single reply.

You text him.

Toge???? Why did you wait for me?

You look drenched, what happened???

How long have you been there???

But your messages didn't seem to get through, not showing a mark of it being delivered.

"His phone battery must've died...."

Instictively, you hurried out the room with a more detemined expression, carefully treading the stairs with your injured leg, and rushed out the door.

Unintentionally, the noise of opening the door a little too quickly echoed across the dead silent street, casuing Toge to immediately jolt himself awake.

He made eye contact with you while he remained seated across the street, shocked at your sudden appearance.

Embarassed for startling him, you slightly lose your confidence and shy away from his gaze, a small lump in your throat preventing you from voicing out any words.

Toge stood up slowly, his eyes widen but his chest beated out of nervousness.

He doesn't expect anything positve, but still, he remained hopeful, as much as he felt like he didn't deserve you.

"...um...." you started, hoping to break the akward silence that filled the air.

"...I-...."

"....."

"....p-...please, come in...."

....

[Back to JJK Masterlist] [Part 1 & 2] [Part 3] [Part 5]

a/n: So happy I finally finished this :')))))))) Shoutout to anon that poked me abt this that genuinely helped me lolol I just really needed a little push to finish this

NOTE classes are back ^^ and I'm doing some part-time comms sooo I'll be a lil busy but ofc I won't abandon this I luv this series <3

Credits to @makuzume on Tumblr || Do not steal, translate, modify, reupload my works on any platform.

tags list: @zhenyuuu @cowcreamers @mushroommorgue @yunho-leeknow @lemonnotade @exodiam @an-ever-angry-bi @cirieria @chifuyufirstwife @strxbxrrylover @sturns55

[delulustateofmind]

Childhood

Description: Childhood friends to...? Geto Suguru x Reader

TW: ANGST, NO HAPPY ENDING, Mentions of abuse (physical and implied sexual), Blood, Bullying. Reader dies.

WC: 6.6k (yeesh)

A/n: I love a good childhood friends to lovers trope for Suguru. It just fits him. I might post the draft where reader lives, but I might just keep that locked away, who knows.

You remember the first day you met Geto Suguru.

Your next-door neighbor with boyish charm, he wasn't shy by any means. He didn’t have the long, flowing hair he does now; instead, he sported a short buzzcut for the summer, a style that made him look mischievous and carefree. His violet eyes, striking even then, seemed almost too bright for the hot days when the cicadas sang their relentless chorus, a contrast to the warmth of his presence. You remember how he would grab your hand with an excitement that buzzed through your skin, dragging you around the playground, his laughter breaking through the sticky summer air like a sudden, refreshing breeze.

You also remember the rainy days that painted the world in shades of gray, days when the air smelled of damp earth and rain pattered softly against your small umbrella. Suguru would stand in front of you, brows furrowed in concentration as he tied your raincoat around you. He would bite his tongue, the tip of it peeking out, as he fumbled with the stubborn knots and clasps. You were both in kindergarten, small and unbothered by anything except the world you built together. He’d let out a triumphant sigh, eyes crinkling as he said, “There, now you won’t get sick!” His voice carried a blend of childish authority and genuine care that made your heart flutter even then. Before you could respond, he would take your hand, smaller and warmer than the rain-slick world around you, and pull you toward the river stream where frogs waited like emerald treasures.

You recall how gently he’d scoop up a tiny green frog, holding it as though it were the most delicate thing in the world. His eyes would widen in wonder, as if seeing magic for the first time, and he’d look back at you with a smile that spoke of shared secrets. “Don’t touch it, we only look...okay?” The sincerity in his voice left no room for argument. He was always protective, even in the small things, a guardian of moments that only the two of you would ever understand.

You remember that Geto Suguru is kind—deeply, quietly kind in a way that echoes through your memories.

One rainy afternoon, you and Suguru were walking along the canal on your way home from school. The cold wind from the early spring nipped at your cheeks, and your fingers felt icy even though Suguru held your hand as tight as he could, his small fingers interlaced with yours. His little face was scrunched up, his nose bright red like a cherry. It made you giggle, but the rain was louder than your laugh.

You liked his laugh. 

Suguru’s eyes were so bright, like the shiny marbles you liked to collect, and they matched the rainy day with their deep, pretty purple. They always crinkled when he laughed or got big and round when he was surprised. But today, they looked different—wide and scared. It made your tummy feel funny, like something was wrong. Before you could ask him, your foot slid out from under you, and suddenly the cold water was all around you. The world turned blurry and loud, and you felt the current tugging at you, pulling you down and making your heart race.

You could see Suguru’s eyes through the splashes and the rush of water. He was screaming something, his little hand reaching for you but not close enough to grab. Everything else was a cold, rushing blur until someone—a big person, a stranger—was there, strong arms lifting you out of the water. You gasped and coughed, shivering and soaked, as Suguru ran to you, tears streaming down his cheeks. He hugged you so tight it felt like he was trying to hold all of you together. His crying was loud and messy, and you thought it must be so hard for someone so little to cry that much.

That was the first day you ever saw him cry. Perhaps, the only day too. 

The kind stranger walked both of you to Suguru’s house. You were cold and still dripping, and Suguru didn’t let go of your hand the whole time, even though he kept sniffling and staring at the ground. When you got to the front door, he was still holding on, you feared he wouldn’t let go. 

Suguru’s mother opened the door, and her eyes—just like Suguru’s, reminding you of violet hydrangeas drizzled with rainwater on a humid summer day, but a little softer—widened when she saw you both. You always liked her; she smelled like flowers and tea, and her hair was dark, long and shiny, like the princesses in your favorite stories. She bent down to look at you, and you noticed her makeup again. It was funny how she wore it—big, purple spots on her arms and a greenish-yellow patch peeking out from under the powder on her face. You always thought it was just a grown-up thing, like how some moms wore bright lipstick or funny dresses. Your mom said it was rude to ask questions, so you didn’t. You just smiled up at her, hoping she would fix everything. You remembered that she was a nurse, nurses always make everything better. 

Suguru stayed quiet as you both stepped inside, still clutching your hand, and you felt safe, at least a little bit, with his mom there, her voice soft and warm, promising that everything would be okay. 

“Suguru, go change and grab a few spare clothes for Y/N, okay?” she said softly, her voice warm and gentle, as she noticed the way you were trembling. “You’re going to catch a cold. Are your parents home?”

You shook your head. Your mom was out with her new boyfriend. He was strange, and you didn’t like the games you played. Games you didn’t really understand until much later.

She paused, her lips pressed together in a thoughtful line. Then, as if brushing away her concern, she smiled—a gentle smile that reminded you of the delicate fox statues at the temple gates, calm and knowing. A smile that was so like Suguru’s. 

You thought Suguru looked so much like his mother. 

A few moments later, Suguru returned, his arms loaded with clothes—a soft frog-print t-shirt and a pair of pajamas. He handed them to you, his cheeks dusted with a faint pink. He didn’t quite meet your gaze, eyes drifting to the ground as if embarrassed, but the way he passed them over made your heart flutter with a warmth you couldn’t quite place. You giggled, both at his shyness and at the oversized shirt he was offering you.

You didn’t give the shirt back, though. Not then. And Suguru never asked.

That night, you don’t remember the details—how you fell asleep or how things had progressed—but you do remember getting sick. A cold that left you bundled up in bed while your mother scolded you for not being more careful. You weren’t allowed to play with Suguru for a while. Not until you were well again.

The first summer of fourth grade rolled around, and you found yourself at the park down the street from your house, sitting on the swings. The air was warm, the sky stretched out in soft pastels as evening approached. The hum of cicadas filled the air, and the distant sound of honking cars blended with the laughter of other children playing nearby. You could feel the breeze against your skin as you swung back and forth, watching the world pass by.

Suguru approached slowly, his head lowered, and you noticed immediately: his hair had grown out, longer now, and it looked darker, shinier. It hung just past his shoulders in silky waves. You liked it. It suited him. He looked like his mother—like the fox statues, elegant and a little mysterious.

But as he came closer, you saw the red mark on his cheek—a faint bruise, but it stood out against his pale skin.

“What’s that, Sugu?” you asked, hopping off the swing and reaching for his face before he could pull away. He flinched slightly, his cheeks flushed, and your hand hovered near the mark.

He didn’t speak right away, and when he finally did, his voice was quiet, almost like he was unsure whether he should even share. “My dad came home... Ma says I should play outside until he leaves. I don’t like him very much.”

You felt a knot tighten in your chest. It wasn’t the first time you’d heard him talk about his father this way, but hearing it again still made something twist inside you. Almost like a tummy ache. You wanted to say something. To ask something. 

Instead, you offered him your hand, tugging him gently toward the sandbox where you’d set up your toys. It felt like the right thing to do. To share this quiet moment, away from the things you couldn’t understand, after all, you weren’t an adult. This seemed like an adult thing. 

“That’s okay,” you said softly, settling down in the sand “I don’t like my mom’s boyfriend either. We play weird games... but sometimes he buys me a new toy or takes me to McDonald’s if I win.”

Suguru’s eyes widened slightly. There was something in the way he looked at you, something that made you feel like maybe, just maybe, he understood more than you realized. “I wonder if boys get weird when they grow up,” you added, your voice a little quieter now..”

Suguru didn’t take long to reply. He blurted it out, his words tumbling over each other in a rush. “I won’t turn out weird!” His face went bright red as he stood up, almost defensively. “I won’t! I’ll take care of you, and we’ll get married!”

Your laugh bubbled up before you could stop it. It wasn’t a mean laugh—just a joyful one that caught you by surprise. You laughed so hard you almost thought you might fall over. 

“We’re getting married?” you asked, trying to catch your breath through your giggles. “Okay, Sugu. When we get older, we’ll get married.”

For the rest of the afternoon, you both let your imaginations run wild. You talked about what your future would look like—what it would be like when you were married. A beautiful, traditional house, like the ones in downtown Kyoto, with a sprawling garden and a giant Sakura tree where you’d have picnics in the spring, drinking tea together. You pictured a big, airy bedroom with futons laid out beneath the window so you could wake up to the soft light of the morning sun.

“And I’ll get you a ring,” Suguru said, his voice brimming with excitement. “It’ll be big and shiny, with lots of jewels. You’ll see.”

You shook your head with a smile. “I want a gem like your eyes,” you said as you carefully packed sand into your bucket, forming the base of your sandcastle. “A violet one, so when I look at it, I’ll always think of you.”

Suguru’s face softened. He looked away, a shy smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Okay,” he muttered, almost too quietly.

The two of you played for hours as the sun began to set behind the trees. The orange light stretched across the sky, casting long shadows on the ground. Suguru lingered a little longer than usual, clearly reluctant to leave, but eventually, he stood up, a small sigh escaping his lips. He gave you a brief, almost shy hug before pulling away, offering you that familiar, soft smile. 

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow,” he promised, his voice quieter than usual.

When school started, Suguru came to you one morning, to walk with you to school and asked, his voice tentatively, “Is it okay if I take a different path sometimes?” There was something in his eyes that made you pause. He didn’t say much, but you knew there was more to the question. “I see things,” he added softly, almost as though he was unsure if he should even speak it aloud.

You didn’t see them—but you nodded, instinctively reaching out to hold his hand as you walked beside him, past places and shadows he pointed out. There were things there you didn’t understand, creatures in the corners of your vision, too fleeting to hold onto. But Suguru saw them clearly. His eyes would follow the shadows, his gaze sharp and focused, and you'd squeeze his hand, hoping to be part of his world, even if you couldn't see what he could.

"Are they like... yokai?" you asked one afternoon as you both sat on the playground during lunch. The warm air wrapped around you, the sound of distant voices fading in the background.

Suguru paused, a little surprised. “Maybe? Can you not see them?” he asked, his voice filled with wonder, as if it baffled him that you couldn’t. 

“My parents can’t see them either,” he added with a sheepish laugh. “My dad says I’m going crazy, so I guess I must be,” he murmured, his words trailing off as if he truly wondered if he was losing his mind.

You didn’t hesitate. You blurted it out without thinking, the words tumbling over each other in your haste to reassure him. “No! I don’t think you’re crazy! Maybe you have super cool powers! Maybe you can be the one to protect the weak!” You giggled, swinging yourself higher on the monkey bars.

Suguru’s eyes widened in surprise, and before you could swing too far, he quickly stepped forward, catching you just in time to keep you from falling flat on your face. “Careful!” he muttered bashfully, his hands steadying you as his cheeks flushed pink. 

“Protecting the weak, huh?” he said to himself, half in awe, half amused. He pulled out his handkerchief, wiping the sand from your calloused hands with a soft tenderness. “I think I can do that,” he said with a smile, that gentle, endearing smile of his that made your heart skip a beat.

Suguru became your first crush, though you hadn’t the words for it at the time. It was a soft, quiet thing, like a secret blooming in you, one you weren’t yet ready to name.

By the time middle school came around, it wasn’t just you. Suguru had become the object of affection for nearly every girl in your class. It was easy to see why. He was handsome, effortlessly so. His dark hair, now tied into a messy bun, framed his face in soft waves that made him look older, more mature. He was athletic—president of the martial arts club—and the classroom representative, always steady, always reliable. 

Girls would swoon whenever he walked by, their hearts practically in their eyes. You’d seen it all unfold countless times: a bashful girl, clutching a love letter, standing beneath the cherry blossom trees, her face flushed as she handed it to Suguru with trembling hands. And Suguru—sweet, gentle Suguru—would always take the letter, smile shyly, rub the back of his neck, and apologize. 

“I’m sorry,” he would say, his voice quiet, his eyes soft but firm. “I can’t return those feelings.” 

And yet, even after he rejected them, the girls would smile, too—somewhat bittersweetly, but they would smile. Because they understood, in their own way, what made Suguru special. It was the kindness in his rejection, the way he always apologized, the way his heart seemed so gentle, so full of care. 

But while the other girls admired him from afar, you became the unspoken resolution to their quiet heartbreaks. It wasn’t long before everyone in your class noticed the way you and Suguru always walked home together, how you always arrived at school side by side, or how you waited by the gates after his martial arts club practices. 

It wasn’t long before the jealousy started to manifest.

At first, it was small—innocent, even—little things that were easy to dismiss. You’d find your bento box missing, or your textbooks mysteriously soaked or torn. Harmless pranks, the girls in your class would say when you complained, their voices light, too light. They never did it in front of Suguru. 

But the notes? Those were different. The messages scribbled hastily, then slipped into the folds of your books or tucked into your desk when no one was looking. They were direct, a threat veiled in a veneer of sweetness: “Stay away from him, or else.” And though you never showed Suguru the notes, you felt them—each one like a small, sharp stone lodged in your chest.

Suguru noticed, though. He always did, didn’t he? It wasn’t uncommon for him to ask about the scuffs on your textbooks or the faint marks on your arms, or why you always seemed so distracted when he talked. One day, after another prank—this time a textbook torn in half—you stood in the local bookstore’s quiet aisle, searching for a replacement. Suguru, ever observant, was beside you.

“What happened to your books?” he asked, his voice quiet, but his gaze unwavering. “Didn’t you just get that one last week?”

You hesitated, unsure how to explain. His expression softened, but you could tell he wasn’t entirely convinced by your usual excuses. “A friend in my class needed it,” you murmured, a soft lie spilling from your lips. “Her family is really poor… so I figured, why not?”

Suguru paused for a moment, his lips curving slightly as he nodded. “That’s nice of you,” he said simply, his words brief, but thoughtful. You weren’t sure if he knew you were lying—or if he suspected—but you didn’t correct him. His words were always warm, gentle, as though he never doubted you, and that was enough.

You never confessed to him. Not once throughout middle school. You kept it buried—your feelings, your heartache, the quiet ache that pulled at your chest when you watched him walk away from the other girls, always with that same shy smile. You kept it hidden, even as it grew stronger, deeper. Even as Suguru unknowingly became the center of your world.

High school was just around the corner, and it seemed like everything was changing. One late summer evening, as the air began to cool and cicadas buzzed in the distance, you and Suguru sat on the porch of your house, the smell of ripe watermelon lingering in the warm night. The gentle weight of the fruit in your hands was a comfort, but there was an undercurrent of unease—of things left unsaid.

“So, you’re really going to that religious school?” you mumbled between bites of sweet watermelon, your eyes flicking to the sky as if avoiding his gaze. The question hung in the air, heavier than it should have been.

Suguru leaned back against the porch railing, his eyes gazing out at the street. He nodded, though there was something uncertain in his posture. “Yeah. It’s where my mom wants me to go. She thinks it’s best.”

You frowned slightly, pausing to wipe the juice from your chin. “But... you aren’t really religious,” you pointed out quietly. It wasn’t an accusation—it was more of a statement, one you’d thought about a lot. Suguru had always seemed so different from the others, always more grounded, more practical. Religion wasn’t really his thing, and you knew it. You weren’t sure if it was his mom’s wish, or something else that pulled him in that direction.

Suguru gave a small laugh, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He looked at you, then, his gaze soft but distant. “I’m not,” he admitted, “but sometimes, I think... maybe I should be. Maybe I need something to believe in, you know?”

You didn’t answer right away. You just took another bite of watermelon, chewing slowly, as if trying to process the sudden shift in his tone. He was changing, wasn’t he? You could feel it—the same way you felt that distance growing between you both. It wasn’t something either of you had asked for, but it was there.

And for a moment, as you sat there together, in that soft quiet of the evening, you wished you could say it—everything. The way you felt about him, the way your heart would skip a beat every time he smiled, the way your chest ached at the thought of him slipping away into a life that might not include you. But you didn’t. You couldn’t. Not yet.

Tears welled up and fell silently as you chewed on your watermelon, the juices almost too sweet, too sharp against the lump in your throat. Suguru noticed, his confident demeanor cracking as he stammered, those fox like violet eyes softening with concern.

“Hey, hey, I’ll still come to visit. I won’t be far… you’re still my best friend.” That’s all you were to him. Just friends. The words should have comforted you, but they only twisted deeper into the ache in your chest. You wished you had done things differently that night. Wished you hadn’t let the fear win. 

Before you could stop yourself, the bowl of watermelon slipped from your grasp, clattering to the floor as you pushed against his broad chest, the frustration bubbling up like a storm. You bit your lip, bowing your head to avoid the confused look in his eyes. The space between you grew colder, wider.

“You idiot,” you mumbled, the words meant for yourself but landing heavily between you. His expression shifted, hurt flashing across his face, but he didn’t say anything. That night ended in silence, the air thick with unspoken words. When he left, there was no goodnight text, no familiar ping of a morning message. By the next day, he was gone.

Suguru went off to some mysterious religious school, one so obscure that even searching for it yielded nothing but blank pages. You stayed behind, navigating your typical Japanese high school, blending into the background. You weren’t at the top of your class, not even close. Just ordinary.

The girls from middle school remembered you, and they hadn’t forgotten how to sneer. Their mocking smiles followed you down hallways, whispers cutting sharper than any blade. You wished, sometimes, that you’d been sent away too, anywhere but there. But it was fine. You learned to like the quiet, your solitary lunches at the top of the school building.

When the school year ended and summer painted the skies in gold and blue, Suguru came home. You saw him one day, taller and somehow changed, walking with another boy. This one was just as tall, leaner, with stark white hair that stood out like a beacon. His eyes were bright and blue, the kind that drew you in, reminiscent of the ocean under the midday sun. His name was Satoru.

You and Suguru never spoke about the night he left. The silence between you was now familiar, like an old song whose lyrics you’d forgotten. 

Suguru introduced you to Gojo Satoru, his friend from the religious school. Satoru didn’t understand the meaning of personal space, it seemed. You watched as Suguru’s eye twitched when Satoru casually slung an arm around your shoulders, a playful smirk hidden behind his glasses.

“Wow! Suguru never told me he had a pretty friend like you waiting at home for him,” Satoru teased, his voice light and teasing. Your cheeks flushed crimson at the unexpected compliment, your heart stuttering in your chest.

“What happened to going home, Satoru? I thought you wanted to train or something,” Suguru said, his tone edged with something you couldn’t quite place, his eyes narrowing at the arm draped over you.

“I wanted to see what a commoner’s life is like,” Satoru said with a casual shrug, his smile unfaltering.

Suguru’s eyes met yours for a brief, fleeting second, filled with something that made your chest tighten. But whatever it was, it vanished as quickly as it came, swept away by the playful banter and the summer breeze.

Summer days passed slowly, drenched in the heat of the sun and the chatter of cicadas. Satoru quickly became a regular part of your small circle, his presence impossible to ignore. He was loud, boisterous, with an infectious energy that made the quiet afternoons seem brighter and heavier all at once. And Suguru—he stayed close, always hovering just at the edge of it all, watching with those deep violet eyes that you couldn’t read.

There were moments when it felt almost normal, like nothing had changed between you and Suguru. The three of you would sit by the riverbank, Satoru’s laughter ringing out as he tried to skip stones and failed spectacularly, the smooth rocks plopping into the water with each throw. Suguru would smirk, his usual calm disrupted by the smallest hint of a smile. But then, there were moments when the silence would settle again, a reminder of everything unsaid. You’d catch Suguru’s gaze, his eyes searching yours for a heartbeat before he’d look away.

One afternoon, as the sun began to dip behind the hills and the sky turned a soft, dusky purple, Satoru sprawled out on the grass, hands behind his head. “You know, it’s strange,” he said, his voice light but his eyes serious as he stared up at the sky. “Coming here, seeing how different it is from how I was raised, how the school is- this is peaceful.”

Suguru didn’t respond, just watched the sun dipping lower, shadows stretching long over the ground. You glanced between them, feeling the familiar tug of curiosity. You wanted to ask what their lives were like, what they did in that school that seemed so far removed from anything you knew. But before you could speak, Suguru broke the silence.

“Different is good sometimes,” he said quietly, almost to himself. His expression was unreadable, and something in his voice made your heart twist.

Satoru turned to you then, a mischievous glint back in his eyes. “Hey, we should do something fun before the summer ends. What do people around here do, anyway? Festivals? Fireworks? Don’t tell me all you do is sit by the river.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but Suguru beat you to it. “There’s a festival next weekend,” he said, his gaze finally meeting yours. “You should come.”

It felt like an invitation wrapped in layers of meaning, and for a moment, the air between you felt fragile, something you didn’t want to break. Satoru’s grin widened, and he clapped his hands together. “Perfect! I love festival snacks.”

The week leading up to the festival passed with a strange, buzzing anticipation. You spent your days replaying that moment by the river, wondering what it meant, hoping for something you couldn’t quite name.

When the night of the festival arrived, the streets were a whirl of lantern light and laughter, the scent of grilled food mixing with the sweetness of candy. You wore your favorite yukata, its delicate patterns of blue and white mirroring the summer sky. The moment you spotted Suguru and Satoru waiting for you near the entrance, your heart did a little flip. Suguru looked at you for a beat longer than usual, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

You however thought Suguru always looked more handsome in traditional wear. You'd never tell him that thought.

“You look nice,” he said, voice low enough that only you could hear. Satoru, never one to miss a moment, whistled dramatically. “I think you look hot,” he teased, winking at you.

Suguru shot him a glare, but there was no real heat behind it. The three of you walked through the festival together, surrounded by the glow of lanterns and the hum of excited voices. You felt the brush of Suguru’s sleeve against yours, and each accidental touch sent a thrill up your spine.

As the night went on, you found yourselves near the edge of the festival grounds, where the noise softened into a quieter backdrop. Suguru turned to you, eyes thoughtful. “I never told you, did I?” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “Why I left that night.”

Your breath caught, the world around you fading as you looked up at him. The question, the hurt, all of it surfaced in that instant. But before he could say more, a firework burst in the sky above, scattering colors across the night, and Satoru’s voice called out, breaking the spell.

“Hey! You two, you’re missing the show!” 

Suguru’s expression shifted, the moment slipping away like sand through your fingers. But his eyes lingered on yours, as if to say tonight wasn’t the night.

You never did get to hear what he wanted to say. But you always remembered the way the fireworks lit up his eyes, turning them into pools of shimmering violet and gold. Suguru was beautiful in a way that seemed almost unreal.

After that summer, you saw less and less of Suguru and Satoru. Every time you reached out, you were met with the same response: “Busy,” or, “I have a lot of work.” You tried not to dwell on it, though the ache of distance settled deep in your chest.

One evening, as you studied for an upcoming exam, the summer heat pressed against your skin like a suffocating blanket. The windows were wide open, the occasional breeze doing little to ease the stifling air. The sky outside was a blanket of deep indigo, scattered with stars that twinkled above the quiet street.

Then, a cry cut through the silence from next door. It wasn’t the first time; Suguru’s parents had always been a source of hushed whispers and dark looks. You had grown to understand that his father’s anger was more than just a temper—it was violence. The beatings, first directed at his mother, had eventually reached Suguru when she could no longer shield him. You wished you had known when you were children, before he disappeared to that unreachable school. Maybe you could have done something. Maybe you could have held on to him just a little tighter. But, you reminded yourself that you were both just children, juggling things that a child shouldn't be going through.

A sudden creak jolted you from your thoughts. The front door. You froze, straining to hear past the thundering of your heartbeat. Your mother wasn’t supposed to be home, and the last boyfriend she brought around—the one who had a temper of his own—had vanished weeks ago, leaving you with a sense of uneasy relief.

“Mom?” you called out, voice shaky as you peered into the dark hallway. Silence.

You took tentative steps down the stairs, flicking on the light. There, standing in the dim glow, was Suguru. His face was pale, hair disheveled, and on his clothes—was that blood?

“Suguru?” His name came out as a whisper, tinged with fear and disbelief. Your eyes darted over him, searching for injuries or some sign that could explain the scene before you. But he didn’t move. He only looked at you, a gentle smile cracking the grim line of his mouth as he stepped forward and opened his arms.

“I can finally say it, I love you,” he said, the words hanging in the air like a confession and a plea. The room seemed to close in around you as he pulled you into an embrace. The scent of smoke and blood invaded your senses, sharp and suffocating. Something wet dripped onto your head, and you realized his whole body was trembling.

“I love you,” he repeated, voice soft, almost fragile. “You looked so beautiful that day... in your yukata... you’ve always looked beautiful.” His words tumbled out in a quiet ramble, barely holding together. “I love you so much it hurts... it hurts so much to know that...”

You tilted your head up, eyes wide with questions you didn’t know how to ask, and before you could speak, his lips met yours. The kiss was gentle, desperate, and tasted of salt from tears and the metallic tang of blood. Your body froze, caught between the shock of the moment and the familiar warmth of his touch. 

The world outside was silent, but in that moment, everything screamed. 

The kiss left you breathless, and for a fleeting moment, you felt like a child again, back in the days when Suguru was just your best friend with laughter that lit up your world. But the metallic taste and the tremor in his body pulled you back to the present, where the Suguru in front of you was someone different—someone haunted.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice breaking as he pulled back just enough to look into your eyes. There was a depth of pain there that you couldn’t comprehend, an abyss of sorrow that twisted his beautiful features into something almost unrecognizable.

“Why—” you started, but the question choked in your throat as his hand brushed your cheek, fingers trembling against your skin. The warmth in his touch sent a shiver down your spine, and before you could react, he pressed his forehead against yours, eyes squeezing shut.

“You don’t understand, do you?” he said, a tear rolling down his face, mingling with the blood that stained him. “I can’t let them take you away from me. I can’t let this world twist what little good we have left.”

Confusion morphed into a sudden, chilling realization, and your breath caught in your chest. “Suguru, what are you—”

“I love you too much, the higher ups will kill you after what I did. They'll find you, use you as punishment” he interrupted, voice breaking as if the words themselves were ripping him apart. His arms wrapped around you tightly, too tightly, and panic surged in your veins as his embrace turned suffocating.

“Suguru, wait—” you gasped, struggling against him, but he held you as if you were the only thing anchoring him to this world. The wetness against your head spread, the metallic scent growing stronger as you fought to breathe. His strength was overwhelming, something you had never felt from him before.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered again, almost reverent. The room spun, a whirl of dark shadows and star-speckled sky visible from the window behind him. Pain flared through you, sharp and sudden, and your vision blurred with tears.

The realization was slow, creeping in like ice. His hand, once gentle, now pressed against your side where warmth spread in a crimson bloom. Your strength faltered, and Suguru’s face swam in your vision, eyes glistening as he cradled you. His lips moved, speaking words that sounded far away now.

“It’ll be over soon,” he promised, as if trying to convince himself more than you. His voice was soft, desperate. “We’ll be together one day... no one will take you from me.”

Your limbs grew heavy, your body slumping against his. The pain dulled, replaced by a chilling numbness that seeped into your bones. Suguru’s face hovered above yours, tears streaking his bloodied cheeks as he pressed his lips to your forehead.

The room dimmed, the noise of the world fading into the distance. Suguru’s whispered, broken words were the last thing you heard, “I love you. I’ll keep you safe now.”

Darkness folded over you like a shroud, and the last image in your mind was of the boy you had known, standing in the light of a summer day with violet eyes full of wonder. Suguru, your friend, your everything, who now held you in an embrace.

The warmth of Suguru’s arms faded, replaced by a numbing cold that seeped into your bones. When you slipped away, Suguru was still holding you, his body shaking with quiet sobs as the reality of what he’d done settled over him like a suffocating blanket.

Minutes felt like hours as he knelt there, your lifeless form cradled in his arms. The weight of his actions bore down on him, a crushing force that stole the breath from his lungs. The room was silent now, the metallic tang of blood heavy in the air. His violet eyes, wide and unfocused, glistened with tears that refused to stop falling.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered into the empty room, the words a broken mantra. “I’m so sorry.”

The night stretched on, the stars above unblinking witnesses to the scene below. Suguru’s mind spun with memories—your laughter by the riverbank, the way your eyes lit up when he said something that made you smile, the warmth of your presence that had anchored him through so many storms. And now, that warmth was gone, snuffed out by his own trembling hands.

He didn’t know how long he sat there, the world outside moving on without him. 

Suguru’s hands clenched, nails biting into his palms until they drew blood. He lifted his gaze, eyes red and swollen, and looked at you one more time. The peaceful expression on your face was almost unbearable; it made it seem as if you were merely sleeping, ready to wake at any moment. But you wouldn’t. And that truth cracked something deep inside him.

He stood slowly, legs trembling under the weight of exhaustion and grief. The blood on his clothes had dried, stiff and crusted, but the scent still clung to him, sharp and unforgiving. Suguru took a shaky breath and glanced at the front door, the place that once symbolized safety and warmth now nothing more than a reminder of what he had lost.

As he stepped into the night, your lifeless form cradled in his arms, the cool air bit at his skin, carrying with it the distant hum of cicadas and the faint rustle of leaves. Behind him, two little girls followed, their small steps quiet and cautious. Their eyes, wide with a mix of fear and trust, never wavered from Suguru’s figure as they walked together into the night. There was much to do. 

In a few years, Suguru had built that traditional house you both dreamed of as children. The structure stood proudly, nestled in the serene embrace of the countryside, with a wide veranda and sliding paper doors that creaked softly in the breeze. In the garden, the large sakura tree bloomed each spring, its petals drifting like whispers over the spot where your ashes were laid to rest.

He sat in the bedroom, the one where his futon lay by the large window so the first rays of morning light could touch his face, waking him gently—just as you had always imagined. The light bathed the room in a warm glow, but it could not reach the shadow that lingered in his heart. He was fulfilling the dream he had stolen from you, keeping it alive with each passing day.

Suguru’s gaze shifted to the Sakura tree, its blossoms swaying in the morning air. He closed his eyes, feeling the ache of longing bloom anew in his chest. He had much left to do, so many things to set right before he could allow himself to rest. Before he could find his way to you, wherever you might be waiting.

In the quiet moments, when the world was still and only the rustle of petals filled the silence, he spoke to you. Promises, confessions, hopes whispered into the air with the wish that somehow, you could hear him.

One day, he would join you beneath the shade of that Sakura tree, where time and separation could no longer reach. Suguru held onto the hope that you both could be together once again.

[tcfactory]

Okay, random 1 am idea:

In the earliest of Airplane-bro's drafts, Luo Binghe's sidekick was a sneaky spy ice demon with teleportation powers. A real overworked backstabbing ladder-climber type. He was supposed to bide his time and then try to double-cross Binghe when the protagonist got his eyes on the ancestral power of the north, because Luo Binghe was a shitty boss to him and trying to take what should have been his birthright was the last straw. (Overworked, underappreciated backstabbing sidekicks may or may not have been a common trope at the time he started writing, but also incredibly relatable, even if his betrayal was doomed to failure by the narrative.)

But then the direction of the story started getting out of Airplane's hands (gotta please the readers after all) and he really wanted to have something for himself, so the original Ice Demon Sidekick TM got split into the current Author's Favorite Mobei-jun and sneaky spy waving deathflags OG!Shang Qinghua. Then, because by then OG!Shang Qinghua was long dead in the story, Airplane ended up simply reusing the original concept/personality for Linguang-jun (after some nerfs of course) and the ancestral power storyline got revamped for Mobei-jun's personal story.

As a direct side effect of this, Linguang-jun and OG!Shang Qinghua are extremely similar in personality and, because overworked author put more of himself into the overworked spy's character than he realized, he's also quite similar to Airplane-as-Shang-Qinghua.

From there it takes one accidental meeting for him to gain some insight into Linguang-jun's motivations (quite logical, if you ask Airplane, but that might just be the authorial bias speaking) and then a spur of the moment decision to go: you know what? None of this has any effect on Binghe and his general... everything, so why shouldn't he be allowed to fix the Mobei family drama before it can escalate to murder attempts? Having two crafty schemers instead of just one would only benefit his king, after all. (This has nothing to do with him having weekly meetings / venting sessions with Linguang-jun, nothing at all I say.)

But then it does end up mattering. Maybe Sha Hualing's demon invasion doesn't happen. Maybe the attack on the Immortal Alliance Conference is so well-organized that the Old Palace Master dies. Maybe Linguang-jun recognizes Binghe as Tianlang-jun's kid and the whole thing turns into a kidnapping instead. There are plenty of options, but in short: the story goes way off the rails, all because Shang Qinghua managed to make Mobei-jun and Linguang-jun set their conflict aside and work together as a team.

He doesn't exactly mind it, as such. He's much less overworked and his king is happy and it's all probably going to be fine. That's all he needs, really. The details can work themselves out over time.

[kheprriverse]

Ballad and Ruto interaction! -> Hi-res available for download

Wanted to work on this again after I started it back in October or so. I wasn't gonna color it tho but I couldn't resit, I love drawing my design for Ruto way too much to pass up coloring her. Shes just so fun, and pretty, and bvadjkvbdjavk

Anyways these two are very cute imo, so here's some extra details on her relationship with Ballad below the cut.

Ballad tends to have a hard time reforming his relationships with people he had known during his journey, having a hard time separating the current person from the one he knew in the past. But his relationship with Ruto wasn't hindered by this and they quickly grew close.

Ballad took up her marriage proposal and he spent most of his late-teen to young-adult years in Zora's domain. They were near inseparable up until the Execution War when Ballad was drafted into Zelda's army and climbed the ranks.

Long story short, war really made Ballad think for a minute and go "am I really fit for royalty?" and they and Ruto ultimately decided it probably wouldn't. They're still besties tho <3

[st4vk1nmybra1n]

LOVE POTIONS !

Pairing: Geto Suguru x reader Wc: 6.5k! Cont: implied fem!reader, reader is a witch! Suguru geto is an advisor for the king (who's Gojo obviously), kinda suggestive? Author's note: this has been in my draft for AGES and it feels fitting to post it right now! Happy Halloween to those of you who celebrate 🎃 hope you guys enjoy this! Also I'm like half asleep rn so if this is sloppy I'm going to punch myself<3 Hope u guys are on dark mode too btw cuz..

“Good heavens, Satoru will be paying me extra for this,” Suguru, king Gojo’s loyal advisor, grumbled under his breath as he weeded out through the crowds of the bustling village, attempting to look far and wide for that one bakery his friend adored. This was a common errand Suguru had to run, though it didn't help lessen the irritation.

His demeanor confident, stature tall, and figure clad in neat, pressed clothes only the most respected would wear.

Suguru was a man of much lure, put simply.

His father was a commander for the Gojo kingdom for his whole life, and so naturally, Suguru and Satoru grew up together. Suguru himself had been expected to take over his father's position, as would Satoru. The black haired male was talented, without a doubt, and it showed in the way he sparred. But Suguru's expertise ventured outside of the battlefield. His time was usually spent in the library, reading about different social, political, economic reforms, cultural norms, and all in all, Suguru was a natural when it came to social environments.

Satoru noticed this talent from the get-go.

So of course, Satoru, being good friends with Suguru, pushed for Suguru to be more of an advisor, persisting that it was something he needed. Suguru found himself inclined towards the idea more than being on the battlefield, but both his father and Satoru's father had been rather unamused by the notion. Satoru was persuasive, though.

And with a little more pushing, Suguru was Satoru's right hand man, second to him in command.

And while it was intriguing and vital for the most part, it often included errands like the ones he was currently running.

“Oh, dear!” Suguru snaps out of his thoughts with a jolt, having bumped into someone while he was lost in thought. As he looked down with the intent of apologizing, he stopped short in his tracks.

Glancing up at him was possibly the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. Thick lashes covered equally striking eyes, and Suguru felt his breath catching in his throat. The expression on your face was innocent, in a way that made Suguru's body heat up. He'd never seen you around in the time he grew up here, but if he had to guess from your appearance, he'd say you were the infamous witch the village spoke of. And to finally see you in the flesh..

“My sincerest apologies, miss. I got lost in thought, please forgive me,” Suguru sincerely apologized, holding out his hand to you. Your lashes fluttered as you blinked, giving him a sickeningly sweet smile as you grabbed his hand in your own, and Suguru was acutely aware of just how soft your hands were.

“It's quite alright. It was partly my own mistake. My apologies, lord advisor,” your sultry voice murmured to Suguru, and two words flashed in his mind as he thought of your voice. Hauntingly bewitching.

Your voice was like driving a wedge into his skin, and seeping a magical healing liquid right over it. While it disgruntled him horribly, the relief that flooded his body was not normal. Suguru couldn't place his finger on it, but something about you was making him feel dizzy.

As you stood up with the help of his hand, he took note of your attire. A dark, long dress draped over your body, cinching and accentuating your waist with the deep, midnight blue corset you wore over the cloth. The sleeves of the dress were long, the sleeves stuck to your skin til your elbows, flaring out right after, adding a certain charm to your look. The sleeves were a net material, and the slight translucency made his mouth water at the cheeky peek of skin. Your nails were painted a dark, shiny black, sharpened like that of a cat's. You wore shiny, polished boots, carrying a dark bag over your shoulder.

“Lord advisor?” You snapped him out of his thoughts once more, tilting your head with a slight look of worry; plump, reddened lips pulled up in a pout of concern. Suguru needed to get away, as his senses were clouded with you. You, and your sweet scent, your beautiful features, your beautiful voice, and oh, your hand that was still in his.

“My sincerest apologies. I must go now, take care of yourself,” he rushed out the words, beginning his walk back towards the bakery.

“Until we meet again, my lord,” you smiled, eyes creasing up as you gave him a cheeky wave, a catty tone in your cooing voice not missed by Suguru.

“Oh, I'd be careful of her, lord advisor. She may end up.. haunting you,” a voice spoke up from his side, and he glanced up, raising a brow. “Oh, no, nothing! Just a word of advice..” the voice continues, nodding a farewell to him, and Suguru pauses, unsure of how to feel.

That night, as Suguru sat in his room with a glass of wine, he still couldn't let go of the fragments of your being lingering around in his mind. It was like if he closed his eyes for a moment too long, your soft figure would pop up in his mind, obscuring every other thought in his mind.

“A witch?” He mumbled to himself, running a hand through his thick hair. Witches were not uncommon during the era of royalty, and he'd read plenty of historical books involving witches and witchcraft. It was never a major subject in these writings, but they existed. Just as you did. But were you truly a witch? You just seemed so.. sweet. So nice, so beautiful–but perhaps that was a part of your charm–then Suguru must see to it that he has a chat with you.

For the betterment of the kingdom, he justifies himself as he lays down in bed that night, head filled with you.

Meanwhile, you yourself weren't faring too well yourself. Clutching your head in your hands, you resisted the urge to do anything, simply letting your thoughts dwell on the handsome advisor. You had your sights on him for the longest while, and the interaction today–no matter how short–had you swooning for the man, even more than you ever were. You bit your nail as you grinned, planning out your next “accident” with the man.

Perhaps casting a spell wouldn't be too bad. Maybe you'll save that for later!

Not that you were egotistical. Actually, maybe you were a little self assured, but what's the harm in that? You were very scrutinized for your craft, and it was ironic, really. Those who turned their noses up at you, judging you from between the slits that their eyes had formed into, were the same people coming into your abode, looking for a way to ruin the lives of the precious companion or the loving spouse they knew. Did you ever turn them down?

Of course not. Easy money is money, at the end of the day, isn't it?

You didn't have much of a care for what anyone had to say or how anyone felt because really, people talk. Whether you love it or hate it, they talk and will continue to talk. So you rejoiced in the attention. The rumors, the conversations, the path that would clear up in a rush whenever you walked. You laughed in the faces of those people who ‘spoke out’ against your unbecoming actions, knowing they would visit your home with some dazzling jewels, some spider eyes and herbs, and the brightest, shiniest coins in their houses, imploring that you try and understand that they respected you, they just had to maintain a reputation.

Whatever that meant, not that you bothered with it.

As you blew out the fire under your cauldron, you covered the top of it with a fabric, allowing it to cool. As you walked towards your bedroom, you heard a meow from the corner of the dim room, glowing eyes peering up at you. “Well hello there, my lovely!” You cooed out at your cat, watching as she jumped into your arms once you sat onto the plush of your bed, your grin widening as she blended in with your clothes, her black fur camouflaging her expertly.

“Could you fetch me some frog legs tomorrow, deary?” You mumbled to the feline, and she purred, bumping her head against your hand that was petting her soft fur. “You're just the sweetest, aren't you?” You smiled, kissing her head as you blew out your bedside candle, snuggling into your bed for the night, your adorable cat snuggled up on the edge of the bed.

The next day, you wandered around the markets, searching for some ingredients for a new recipe you wanted to try. Who knew witchcraft could turn you into a good cook?

“I don't sell to witches like you,” a shopkeeper sneered at you, scoffing.

You smiled innocently, batting your lashes. “What, you sell to the uglier witches with the wrinkles and the green skin?” You questioned, canines peeking out as your smile grew.

“Scram. I don't want you using my crops for your little spells. You're pathetic, truly.” The man argued back, growing more and more angrier by the moment.

“Oh, I wish some carrots and tomatoes could craft up a spell that would make you less of a whiney vermin, but alas, vegetables are unfortunately not the most helpful in my craft. I prefer using hair, blood, maybe frog eggs, or the scat of a mutt. But that's only if I really don't like you. And I really don't like you,” you mused, shaking your head at him.

The shopkeeper, appalled at the nerve you had to even say anything to his face, raised his hand, ready to strike you. But before he could, a veiny hand interrupted his wrist that inched closer and closer to its target.

“I wouldn't lay my hands on a lady, sir.” Suguru, who had been observing from the side, stepped in, eyes remaining sharp.

The other man cowers at the sight, mumbling an apology. “Advisor Geto.. I sincerely apologize, but this woman.. she ruins the lives of our people, you must understand! She is filth that stains our country, she's a good for nothing wench!” He yells out, brows furrowed at you.

“Hey! You people shower once in a blue moon! However, I happen to shower everyday! I know you think it is because I'm working with blood but it's actually because I'm not disgusting! Unlike the likes of you! I am not filth!” You defend rather unseriously, already fed up with the conversation. The shopkeeper gaped, glancing up at Suguru, as if to ask if you were serious.

“That's enough from you. Give the lady the vegetables. I'll pay.” Suguru sighs, crossing his arms.

You nod, mirroring his stance. “Saves you the blood money, as you like to call it.” You add with a hum, and the man at the stall has to stop himself from shutting down his stall as a whole.

As he hands you the vegetables, you take them into your large bag, squealing in excitement as Suguru paid for the vegetables. You lean up towards him, hands grasping his muscular arm. “Oh, why thank you, my lord! It's tough out here for a lady like myself!” You smiled sweetly, and Suguru raised a brow.

“A lady like yourself? Like one who hexes those around her?” He asked sarcastically, and you let out a laugh, shaking your head.

“What would I gain from causing harm to people for no reason, my lord?” You questioned him back as you both walked towards another stall, this time purchasing some bread from a lady who surprisingly did not refuse you. She was apparently the only one who realized that business is business regardless of whom you're selling to. Which is why you always give her an extra coin.

“How do you think I can afford to live in this era, my lord? Surely you understand why I'm even able to buy anything at all.” You pointed out once more, keeping your arm looped around his.

Suguru let out a hum, catching onto your drift. “Because you have people who seek you out. Isn't that right?” and you smile, giving him nothing else to go off of.

“Are you occupied for the day, my lord?” You inquire with a glance up at him, and he ponders for a moment, shaking his head.

“No. I have a free day.”

And your smile grows wider, somehow even sweeter in Suguru's eyes. “Then, may I be so gracious as to invite you to a meal at my house? I assure you, I'm plenty good at cooking! I'll leave out the potions and spells just for you.” You give him a cheeky wink, and he weighs out his options.

“I suppose it wouldn't hurt.” He shrugs, and your smile seems much more genuine for a moment.

“Perfect! I'm making sandwiches and soup today! I hope you're okay with that. And with cats. I have a cute little feline friend waiting for me at home.” You spoke lightheartedly, glancing up at him. “Would you be alright with coming right now? Or would you perhaps wish to come later?”

“Now is fine. Lead the way.” he holds out a hand towards the path, and you nod, looking straight ahead as the people around you stared in awe. The king's advisor? And the town's witch? Walking together, arm in arm?! Surely something must be wrong here. The people really couldn't believe their eyes. They never expected such an outcome, and you simply walked on, not paying any mind to them.

“Does witchcraft run in the family?” Suguru asks as you guys separate from the others, and you hum, smiling.

“My father was a medic. Mother practiced witchcraft, however. It was definitely an amusing combination.” You nod, glancing up at him through your lashes.

Interesting.

“So, you chose witchcraft as what you wished to do?” He asked further, and you raised a brow.

Smile still as cheeky as ever, you asked. “My, can I not do both?” You asked innocently, and Suguru huffed out a laugh.

How ironic.

“Medics save lives. Witchcraft takes them,” he answers, sharp eyes meeting your own. Suguru was having a hard time even understanding what you meant, but he tried either way.

“And what makes you say that? A medic may not always save a life. Witchcraft is not all hexes and curses, there's more to it than just death and doom. A lot more,” you argue back, scoffing at his words.

He raises a brow this time, as if amused. “How come?”

“Well, for obvious reasons, I think it's safe to say that in most cases you want the other person to suffer. Or if it's a different type of spell, it's something unhealthy. Or a minor inconvenience. Something of the sorts,” you explain, and Suguru nods his head.

“To that I ask, is that not cruel? Do you feel any remorse or regret in these actions?” he continues, and you hum.

Of course, many would ask such a question. The ironic part is that many don't realize that the only reason you're even able to keep this up is because of the monstrous emotions that they foster in their hearts. Greed, lust, envy. And the most inherent part of it all; love. Love was the driving force for many of these scenarios. The people of your town loved to parade about their morality in the face of their own peers, only to turn around and ask favors from you.

Maybe you were instilling a way for them to release their hatred into an outlet, but even if you weren't doing what you do, they'd still find a way.

Looking back at Suguru, you raise an earnest brow. “And to that I ask you, am I really the evil here? Perhaps I'm giving them a means for their malicious intent but really, are your people not the ones vying for a chance to see their so-called friends suffering, right outside my doorstep? Remember, I'm not forcing or coercing anyone into seeking me out. I can manage very well without customers, I could wreak havoc. But I exist, and that is enough reason for those that are desperate.” You grin, and Suguru sighs, opting to glance around the overgrown grass near your home.

Ostracized by your own people, huh? Suguru thinks to himself, having suspected as much.

“Here we are. Isn't it just beautiful here?” You grin, guiding him towards the entrance of your rather concealed home.

Typical, he sighed.

As you entered the home, turning to speak to the king's advisor, you were rudely interrupted by him suddenly grabbing onto you, pinning you against your door.

A hand tangles into your hair, pulling it hard enough to glare at your face. “So, reveal your intentions. You think it is that easy to bait me into your home and have your way? Seduce me? Tell me, witch. What is it that you want from me? From the king?” He declares, not even asking, just demanding an answer.

And instead of feeling fear, you felt.. exhilarated. His grip on your scalp was deliciously painful, and you hastily bit your lip to hold back a noise that alluded to your arousal.

“Sir Suguru, if I may?” You asked, and he blinked, urging you to continue. “What makes you think I've bad intentions? That my plan is.. not so innocent? What if I feel inclined to you, and wish to chat with you inside my humble abode?”

And Suguru lets out a laugh. A husky, mocking laugh.

“You? A chat with me? An innocent one at that? Let's face it. You've intentions that are far from sweet.” He sneers, and you let out a small whine as he pulls at your hair even more, his other hand pinning your arms against your back, forcing your body into a mean arch.

You squirm against his hold, and he only further tightens it, most likely even bruising you. “My, this is rather raunchy, wouldn't you say, my lord? The hold you have on me is quite.. lewd, if I may observe.. and didn't you chastise the shopkeeper for laying his hands on a lady?” you grinned, and Suguru's eyes sharpened.

“Do you think you're in a position to be joking? You will be punished for the spell you've cast on me.” Your brows raise in surprise at his words, and you turn to face him.

“A spell? On you?” You ask, clearly amused at the thought.

Suguru feels himself getting more and more agitated as you pretend otherwise. “Drop the act. You spoke of love and lust potions earlier. I know you've done something.” He accuses you even further, hissing into your ear.

You feel yourself smiling despite the searing pain coursing through the nerves in your head at his vicious grip, letting out a laugh. “I don't know if I should be flattered that you feel such an attraction to me, or be offended that you've accused me of casting a spell.”

Suguru grits his teeth at your words, letting go of your arms to reach out to grab your cheeks between his large hand, turning your head to face him. As his other hand tightens around your hair, tugging it further to angle your head, he looks deep into your eyes.

“Listen, witch. I am not fooled by you, nor will I believe your stupid excuses. Tell me the truth, and only the truth.” He hisses, venom seeping through each word he spat out.

At the blatant disrespect, you feel your body waver with pleasure. Though, you were feeling a small seed of irritation planted into you. “I understand you're very sharp and quick on your toes, but allow me to explain myself at least.” You mumble out through your squished cheeks, giving him a glance through the side of your eyes.

“Speak. But only under my grasp.” He orders, letting go of your face to continue pinning you against the door.

You let out a sigh, constructing your thoughts into proper sentences. “I'll explain as best as I can. So you think I've casted a spell of seduction on you, my lord? For perhaps trying to manipulate you into doing harm against the king?” You question, but you don't allow him to answer. “I can very much defend my case in all scenarios you can think of.” You state confidently, letting out a sigh. “First, the most important thing to mention is that to cast a spell on you, I'd need very personal information and belongings of yours. Like hair, blood, lashes, and perhaps other bodily fluids,” you grin, and Suguru has to will himself to not feel flustered at your implications.

“And with our one interaction, I could not have gathered any of that. Not nearly enough. And if this were the doing of another person, then we would not be here in the first place. I would come clean and tell you if anyone else has it out for you, I don't gain anything from keeping secrecy. I'm not afraid of outing the business of others when it comes to me, because my business is not one of dignity to begin with,” you answer transparently, and Suguru knows it's most likely not a bluff.

“And for love spells, they're quite weak. To get a stronger one, I need expensive, rare ingredients. And those are usually provided to me by the people seeking out such spells. I don't go out that often to actively search for them. It's much too laborious. A much more effective method is a love potion. It's a spell in the form of a liquid, which can either be given to you in potion form or mixed into another drink or food. And for that you'd need to be consuming something given to you by me. And under the security of being in the palace, it's quite near impossible. And considering the only reason you believe that I've done anything is because of our prior interaction, it wouldn't be wrong of me to say that I've not done anything to you. If I needed to cause harm to this place, it wouldn't be possible without someone influential involved with me. And plus, I grew up here! Why would there be a reason to overthrow the kingdom or turn this place into ruins?” You continue, making points that Suguru knows are not that easy to form a counter argument towards.

“And might I add, even if i were to cast a spell on you somehow, or have you consume a love potion, the effects would be much more severe, I assure you. It wouldn't be fleeted thoughts, it would be primal urges to ravage and ruin me. Or to completely submit and give up your conscience to me.” You add with a small, barely visible smile, and Suguru feels his breath grow more labored at your words. “I can give an example.”

At this, Suguru's attention is caught. “And what would that be?”

“Before we continue, mind letting go of my hair? My scalp is quite strong but I fear you may be stronger. I'd rather not test that.” You jested, and Suguru sighed, letting go of your hair. You let out a moan of relief, breathing out deeply.

“Right. So the royal knight the kingdom had a few years back? The oh-so dedicated knight, ready to give up his life for his king.” you quipped, and Suguru felt his stare harden.

Of course he remembers the knight. Very clearly. He was very dedicated and never showed any signs of anything otherwise. But he'd left very suddenly and got married, abandoning his duties. Was that a result of your doings?

“Well, a lady had visited me in the late hours, expressing her interest in the man. She'd conversed with him a handful of times, but her admiration ran deep. Much too deep. And she asked for a love potion. And so I gave her one, and she mixed it into a blueberry pie for him. And not even a day later, he'd run off with her and marry her. And now the couple has seven children!” You narrated dramatically, finishing off with a closed eye smile, as if happy for their ‘love’ for one another.

“But really, they aren't passionate about having children. That's not why they have children. It's about the act of conceiving children. The process of making a child is what draws the knight to his wife. Little does he know it's a result of a potion,” you huffed, shrugging.

Suguru was bewildered by your words. Not at the fact that you'd done that, but at the fact that you were willing to talk about their.. unhealthy amount of children. In the span of just a little over a decade. As if sensing his shock, you raised a brow. “What? It's true! I think he must've developed a fancying for breeding–” and he cut you off with a hand over your mouth, attempting to think of what to even say to you.

“Him running away was because of you?” he snapped, and you narrowed your eyes.

“No. It was not.” You answer, tone eerily calm. Calmer than your usual cheeky tone. “Because according to the royal law, my business is under fair use. If I've stated the severity of what I sell and have advised them that I will be telling on them if asked, and if I've made it clear that while my witchcraft is effective, any side effects and consequences is their responsibility, then it is fair use. And if you look at the contracts I've made them sign, you'll see that same information. I'm not obligated to keep their business a secret in situations where push comes to shove, and they are okay with that.” you asserted with a certainty that shocked Suguru, and he took a moment to articulate his own thoughts.

“And why would I believe you?” Suguru continued, and you glanced back up, unamused.

“The contracts are all placed in the chest by the corner,” you nod your head towards a chest in the corner of your home, placed by a bookshelf. “And beside that I have books on witchcraft, and a shelf with my own recipes and observations. Feel free to look through everything.” Your hands squirmed around in his now loosened grip on your wrists, and Suguru paused, taking note of the ingredients stacked on the walls. In the opposite corner, there was a fireplace, with another fireplace beside it, this time with a cauldron on top. For your witchcraft, he hypothesized.

“Those are some items I've collected over the years. For rare spells, common spells, all sorts. Some are given to me by my customers, some I've collected on my own over the years. While I can usually find a lot of items out in the open, some of them involve certain.. parts of each item which I'd have to source from the people of the town. And those can be quite a hefty penny. I wouldn't be gaining much profit from making a love potion to use on you.” You explained as Suguru let go of you, rubbing your wrists that were now bruised. Not that you were complaining, you found it exciting that the advisor had marked you in such a way. Suguru continued looking around, stiffening as he felt something rub against his leg. With a quick glance down, Suguru's eyes squint, taking note of a small, fluffy black cat rubbing up against his leg.

“That's my cat. She seems to like you. She must take after me,” you zinged, and Suguru raised a brow, trying not to show his amusement at the situation. “Here, let me take your coat, lord Suguru.” You grin, helping him shrug off his coat. Suguru tries not to squirm at the feeling of your hands roaming over his muscled back and arms. You take the coat onto your arm, then hang it over the coat hanger you had by the doorway.

“I'll be looking around, then.” Suguru announced, making his way towards the bookshelf. He begins to look through your recipe books. He noted the way you wrote down each spell with a diagram of each ingredient, fixed with witty comments and doodles. Your recipe books oozed with the same charm that you possessed, and Suguru found it rather.. entertaining, to say the least.

“Could I get you some water? Perhaps something to eat? The sandwiches won't take time to make, and you can stick around for soup!” You spoke with a delight in your tone, carefully filling up a glass with water for him.

Suguru glanced up at you, and this time you could make out the playful look on his face, just barely. “And what if you've cast a spell on it, or worse, mixed it with a potion?” he asked, tone sarcastic.

You let out a euphoric laugh, the sound so beautiful that Suguru could listen to it for days on end. Carefully, you bring the glass up to your lips, taking a small sip. The water drips down your lips, down your neck. You smile, raising a brow. “I'm not immune to any spells I create. There. I took a sip, it's safe to consume.” You cheekily commented, handing him the glass. The sheen gloss that you'd layered over your lips had transferred onto the cup, and Suguru glanced away as he took a sip from the water, lips delicately placed over the same spot that was marked with your lipstick.

As expected, the water goes down easily through his throat, and he's surprisingly not hexed! Wiping the excess water from his lips, Suguru hands you back the cup to continue skimming through your books. As it seemed, everything you'd said earlier had turned out to be true.

“What? Feeling lovestruck, my lord?” Tone playful and teasing, you cut your bread into a few slices, placing the rest of the loaf to the side. The black haired man scoffs, shaking his head at your words.

As you continue making your sandwich, Suguru busies himself with the task at hand. And that was–well, he wasn't sure himself. At first it felt like a way of ensuring that you weren't actively looking to ruin his life or the king's life, but now he just found himself admiring your handwriting and your cheeky remarks.

There was something oddly charming about your way of writing; just like your appearance and everything else about you, at that. You had little doodles of your cat on some pages, depicting said feline with a speech bubble to give you reminders on how to not pour all your spider eyes into your cauldron all at once, but rather one at a time. Or how you have to be careful with how many frog legs you put into your potion of melancholia, lest you want another dead person. Wait--

You've killed someone from your potions before?” Suguru's voice cuts through the silence, and you shrug.

“Whoops.” You answer cheerily, delicately placing tomatoes over your bread.

Suguru glances up in disbelief. “Whoops? You killed an innocent person and you're saying whoops?”

“He wasn't innocent. His wife came to me because he was.. abusive. She wanted him in depression, and apparently the potion was strong enough for him to take his own life. Oh well,” you shrug, and Suguru paused.

“And she couldn't inform the king or at the very least, me?” He questioned, oddly enough. He knew his question was a little stupid, but he asked anyway.

You let out a laugh at the question, raising a brow at him. “In a world where women are taught to know their place and not speak up against a man? She was afraid of telling anyone. That's why she resorted to the means she took.” You answered, tone resolute. You were certain that the man deserved what he got, and you didn't see why Suguru seemed to care so much. “If our world cared more about our people, maybe we would not have to resort to such extreme measurements. Everything is done for survival, and if the higher power can't promise it, then someone else, or something else will.” You state plainly, as if it were an obvious truth.

“Still. Taking a life?” Suguru pressed further, and you paused.

With a sigh, you pause your sandwich assembly and turn to him. “Look, the potion wasn't supposed to kill him! If she wanted to kill him, she'd use a different potion! Not the melancholic one!” You defended, adamant on your innocence, ironically enough.

“You have potions to kill people?!” Suguru asked again, frantically looking through your book.

“Yes I do, my lord. Believe it or not, I am a witch, and thus I am not all goody goody.” You answered in amusement, to which Suguru grimaced.

He pauses, crossing his arms. “That's.. not that I didn't already expect such a thing, but.. I'm disappointed.” He sighs, shaking his head.

“And why is that? You and your people prepare for warfare over land and other disputes, killing one another. And that loss of life is an honor, a deliverance. And you imprison those who have openly wronged many, but what of those who work silently? And of those women who are afraid to speak up against what they go through in fear of isolation and hatred? What of those? If I take the life of a man who was simply a bug in this world, why is that a sin? Something vile?” You interrogate, making Suguru freeze.

“Because we are serving the country.” Suguru argued back, to which you hum.

Finishing up the two sandwiches, you cut them and place them into plates. “Are you, though? Does the country not include women being assaulted? By people they know? By husbands? By strangers? When will you serve them? And who will serve them?” There's an unreadable look in your eyes as you speak, and Suguru pauses.

“Perhaps we'll have to look into supporting the women of our nation more, you're right. But killing men is not the solution.” The black haired man explained, nodding at you.

You huff, rolling your eyes. “Oh, please! You'll put me to sleep with all this boring talk of worthless men.” You dramatically drawled, and Suguru glared at you, gaze pointed.

Suddenly, your sly grin returned on your face, and you tilted your head. “What if I've never actually killed anyone? And what if it was a bluff, just to get you to acknowledge women?” You teased, unable to hold back the tease in your voice.

“Is that why you mentioned not causing another death, in your book?” Suguru sarcastically asked, to which you burst into laughter.

“You're so trusting of my word, my lord. It's flattering. How about you put the book down for the meal, now.” You whispered to him, taking the book out of his hands to place it back into its original spot. You take his hand, guiding him into a chair on your dining table. Your fingers rest against his shoulders, featherlight touches caressing the skin with a familiar sensuality.

“Here,” you whisper sweetly, pressing the sandwich to his lips. As he opened his mouth to take a bite, your own lips parted in tandem, eyes zeroed in on Suguru's movement. The tension in the room was undeniably palpable, and Suguru felt his will straining. “Good?” You asked, head tilting.

Suguru closed his eyes, chewing carefully on the food. Your addicting perfume was clouding his senses, and he felt himself being enveloped in you.

“How long have you had her? Your cat, I mean.” Suguru opts to say, and you wipe his lip to remove the sauce dripping down, and you bring your thumb to your mouth, licking it cheekily.

“Ever since she was a little baby. She wandered into my home, she was all feisty. And I had my own worries. We both minded our own business, and I'd lay out some food for her. She would still try to fight me over it though,” you let out a snicker, remembering how she had a habit of biting and scratching you in the start. “But eventually, she brought me a dead mouse as a peace offering! And it was just what I needed for my potion!” You smiled, leaning down to coddle your feline baby.

“I should be going soon.” He mumbled, and your glossy lips formed into another pout.

You stand back up, leaning against the table as you glanced down at his seated form. “So soon, my lord?” you tilt your head, crossing your arms.

Suguru glances up, feeling odd at the emotions running through his body of having to look up at you, instead of his usual towering over others. His eyes focus on your form, your body molding against the table, your figure almost sat atop the table.

“Eyes are up here, my lord. I'm afraid you're staring somewhere quite frisky.” You teased, and Suguru froze up, averting his gaze as he began to eat his sandwich once more.

Your fingers drum against the table, nails clicking rhythmically against the wooden surface. You both remain in silence, and Suguru tries his hardest to not pay attention to your gaze on his form.

“Please, do visit more often. A poor lady like myself gets bored alone in this big house, you know?” You smiled, eyes filled with mirth.

Suguru cleared his throat, grabbing a napkin from his pocket to wipe away at his mouth. “The sandwich was delicious, thank you for having me.” He spoke after a moment, getting up from his chair. Your eyes follow his face, head tilting up to accommodate his height.

You blink, suddenly amused. “Why, of course. The pleasure is mine. Will you be visiting again?” You answer him sweetly, pushing away from the table to stand in front of him.

“If by chance we see each other again, then yes.” Suguru answers simply, and you perk up in delight, rushing over to grab his long coat

You smile as you help him with his upper layer, fingers lingering over his shoulders. “You've simply warmed my heart, dear advisor.” You mumble sweetly, to which Suguru raises a brow.

“What's with all the titles? Just refer to me by my name.” He assures, leaning down to pull his shoes over his feet.

“Your name only, you say? Why, that's certainly an honor, Suguru.” The way his name rolls off his tongue, Suguru pauses, glancing up at you. There's a cattish smile on your face once more, and Suguru turns his gaze back to his boots.

“I'll be off, then.” He answers curtly, and you hum. You lean into him once more, a hand on his forearm and a kiss pressed to his cheek.

“Until next time, dearest Suguru! Farewell!” You wave your hand goodbye, closing the door with a giggle of delight. “He's so dreamy, isn't he?” You ask your cat, and she purrs in response, her ear flicking as if in agreement to your words.

And unbeknownst to you, Suguru found himself stumbling back to Satoru and the kingdom, head clouded with you, all thanks to you and your wicked demeanor.

[strwbrychiffoncake]

'take me home' in which the crusaders take care of you while you're sick! note: completely self-indulgent. fluffy sick comfort ,slight crack ,ooc chara(?) dunno ,reader is jotaro's sister (jotaro is referred to as older but wrote w the idea of them being twins (at least 18)/similar in age... minimal phys desc. so reader can also be seen as adopted LOL) ,heavy polnareff x reader coded ,clingy!sick reader LOL ,reader is short (lol) ,some japanese terms used (written in eng) ,french terms of endearment ,light cursing... i think thats everything lol.. :X i also realized a lil too late iggy isnt in here but i promise u he's in another draft for something else i started i could never forget him!!!!

'why me?'

you crack your eyes open to the sun peeking through the inn's room window. you immediately notice your throat feeling sore, sniffling nose uncomfortably stuffy, and fatigue enveloping your entire body.

why was it so hot?

you kick off the covers, finding your strength to roll over in an attempt to get out a bed, only pausing when you feel a looming headache clouding your senses.

you sit on the edge of the bed, holding your head in your hands for a few minutes in an attempt to seize the pain, even if only slightly. when nothing seems to change, you get up, stumbling a bit from sudden dizziness before deciding to get yourself ready for the day.

should i go wake jotaro to let him know i'm not feeling well?

the thought leaves you quickly, all too aware of the time crunch you all were on, and you weren't about to slow down the journey in favor of you getting better. who knows how long that might take?

so, despite the way you have to hold onto the bedframe to keep your balance as you change, the way your skin feels like its bursting into flames, wincing in pain every time you swallow and the way your head is throbbing in the worst way possible: you persevere.

does the inn sell medicine anywhere? maybe i can buy some before anyone sees me, and then meet up with them in the dining room later. i'm usually one of the last ones, so it shouldn't be too strange...

with this plan in mind, you check yourself one last time in the mirror before stumbling out of your room, shutting the door with a click.

-

"ah, bonjour, mademoiselle! what a coincidence we're up at the same time, huh?"

polnareff felt so lucky.

were the gods smiling down at him today? had he done something incredibly noteworthy? it didn't look like any of the others were around yet, either.

polnareff getting to spend the morning alone with you????

'score!'

on the other hand....

you freeze.

'of all times-!'

considering your soft spot for the sweet french man (despite never admitting it, convinced it was one-sided), you hardly wished for him to see you in your current state.

however, you weren't about to turn him away (anyway, its not like you two got much one-on-one time on this hectic journey), and so you decide to face him before mustering up a small smile and a wave.

with or without realizing it, polnareff is absolutely beaming at you, eyes practically filled with hearts and his cheeks flushing a light pink, just from a little greeting? you didn't even speak!

he thinks you look so beautiful, like always, and he's thanking the heavens above for being the first one to see you like this today.

he quickly regains his senses before closing the short distance, standing before you.

his smile is dazzling, and he looks as attractive as always today... you hope your appearance looks presentable enough in this state.

"i was just about to make my way to the dining room, i'm starving! care to accompany me, mon mignon?"

you feel your heart race, as it usually does when he casually calls you by names like that. you still aren't sure why he does, but the crusaders always shoot you a knowing look: when you ask, they don't say anything.

realistically, you could probably say no, sneak away to search for that medicine, and then make your way back to find polnareff in the dining room, munching away at whatever suit his cravings before joining him.

on the other hand, polnareff was strangely attentive to you (something that the other crusaders pointed out more times than not, and that polnareff never once denied but rather avoided the accusation), leaving the possibility of him insisting to accompany you wherever you wished to go, no matter how hungry he might be.

indeed, he'd follow you to the ends of the earth if that was your wish, but you didn't need to know that yet.

so, you're left with simply giving him a small nod, following him sluggishly to the elevator as you allow him to talk your ear off about anything that comes to mind as you try to think of another moment to slip away to attain some medicine.

-

since it was still early, the elevator was occupied by only you two. polnareff filled the silence as he continued recalling the last enemy stand fight, and how they were "no match" for his chariot.

polnareff was so animated in his storytelling. he hoped he might impress you with recalling how strong his stand was and, by extension, him.

though, he did think you seemed a little quieter than usual today, but chalked it up to you simply still being tired.

you nodded along as he spoke, smiling at his dramatics when the elevator shook slightly. it didn't help your dizzy state, easily losing your balance and falling right into the man in front of you.

without any struggle, he caught you with ease.

"woah! mon ange, are you alright? i didn't expect you to stumble into me like that!" polnareff was holding you so securely yet gently, one hand on your upper left arm just below your shoulders, the other gently against your waist, looking down at you to quickly scan your face.

he couldn't help but take in the details of your face at this proximity, noticing the dazed look in your droopy-looking eyes, your shallow breaths, your flushed face, and was your skin warmer than usual?

your eyes shift up to meet his, bashful at the proximity before giving a curt nod. "sorry.." you mutter, shifting your gaze away from his dazzling eyes, unable to handle the intense eye contact for much longer.

"chérie, are you-"

ding!

polnareff is interrupted by the elevator doors as they open for you both.

he quickly releases you, muttering a short apology in his native tongue before stepping out first, turning back to make sure you're following close behind.

still feeling the dizziness, you stumble out after him, subconsciously gripping onto his shirt to keep your balance.

'he's so warm...'

you miss the way the silver-haired man's face practically bursts into flames, red hue matching that of his earrings.

"y-y/n-"

"sorry.. i'm still a little dizzy.... don't leave me behind, you walk too fast.."

. . .

'how can someone be this cute?!?!??!'

aside from the fact that polnareff's heart feels like its about to burst, he can't help but notice the fact that 1) he wasn't walking any faster than he normally did, it was actually you that seemed to be walking slower, and 2) he couldn't tell from the brief responses you gave before, but now, he was sure your voice sounded different than usual.

(additionally, he thought, there was no way in hell he'd ever leave you behind anywhere, accident or not. was that really something you were worried about?)

somehow, he slips the hand that was gripping his top into his own, giving it a firm squeeze before offering a triumphant look back to you.

"i-in that case, don't you think this is better, mon ange? th-this way, there's no way you'll be separated from me on the way to the dining room, right?"

you hum, satisfied. his hand is so warm.

he turns towards the direction of the dining room, hiding his red face, hoping his hand doesn't start to sweat as he begins to guide you.

"w-well then, let's go get some food!"

-

no sooner than later, you both arrived to the dining room, finding a table for six to wait at until the rest of the crusaders came down to join you.

"hmmm, it looks like the others aren't down yet. ah, let me get that for you, mon cœur."

polnareff releases your hand in favor of pulling out your chair for you, pushing it in once you're comfortable before taking the seat to your left.

he orders waters for you both to start before you have his full attention.

even the short trip from the room a couple of stories up to the dining room felt tiring, and you took this moment to momentarily shut your eyes and rest in your seat.

polnareff notices your head hanging slightly, as if it's too heavy for you to hold up yourself.

"here, y-you can rest on me," he practically whispers.

he scoots his chair closer to yours, reaching out a hand behind your head, hesitating for a moment in case you decide to pull away before gently leaning you onto his shoulder.

"are you feeling alright today, mon mignon?"

his voice comes out much softer than his usual loud tone that you almost think you only imagined his concern.

you crack open your eyes to meet his, polnareff's face holding pure concern for you.

"mhm," you nod with a hum.

polnareff gives you a hard look, obviously unconvinced. you quickly grow shy under his stare, gaze shifting to your lap.

"you know, you're a pretty bad liar, m'amour~"

despite his words, he says this fondly, resting his chin in his hand, his gaze never leaving you.

you don't answer, fidgeting with your hands.

"let's see.."

he begins reaching the back of his hand out towards your forehead in an attempt to check your temperature when a voice interrupts the moment.

"goodmorning polnareff, y/n-san."

polnareff recoils his hand as kakyoin makes his way to join you two at the table.

damn.. he thought you two would have some more time together.

you look up, smiling at kakyoin, sparing a small wave before closing your eyes once again.

kakyoin takes the seat to your right, raising an eyebrow at your arrangement before shooting a smirk towards the now-blushing french man.

"oh? polnareff... didn't expect you to be so bold."

"a-ah! kakyoin," his gaze shoots around the room, quickly thinking up an excuse at kakyoin's knowing stare. "doesn't the mademoiselle seem out of it today?"

"polnareff!"

despite the bluntness of polnareff's words, upon closer inspection, kakyoin concludes that you do seem to be less energetic than usual, as you're visibly very fatigued.

"is y/n-chan not just tired? it is quite early for them, isn't it?"

polnareff is quick to refute, having taken a closer look at you himself.

"that's-"

"goodmorning you three, you're up early!"

joseph's voice rings out to you three, avdol and jotaro in tow behind him.

kakyoin gestures at you with his eyes before shifting them to the group and back, silently telling polnareff to do something before jotaro or joseph see.

polnareff is quick to gently move your head from his shoulder to the back of your chair, seemingly before anyone else sees.

avdol and jotaro greet you three before they take their seats while joseph comes up behind your chair, beaming down at you before beginning to pat your head.

you wince at the unexpected contact before realizing who it was, quickly sinking into the familiar feeling.

"goodmorning my beautiful granddaughter! did you sleep well? you're up early today, aren't you?"

without opening your eyes, you greet him back with a short "morning, jii-san," still feeling dazed.

"did you order anything yet? you can get anything you like, however much you like, you know?"

his favoritism is really showing.... was the shared thought between the crusaders at joseph's usual cooing.

"sit down already, old man," jotaro scolds, arms folded across his chest.

joseph huffs out a breath before he retracts his hand, making his way to the last seat between kakyoin and jotaro.

polnareff opens his mouth to speak only to be interrupted once more by a waitress coming by to take everyone's orders.

maybe it's best to bring it up later.. i'll just keep an eye on her for now polnareff thought to himself.

once she leaves, everyone engages in small talk, occasionally asking you something or trying to bring you into the conversation.

as much as you usually enjoy chatting with everyone, you're much too distracted. your skin is hot to the touch, yet the dining room is somehow so cold, you keep taking sips of your water in hopes of it soothing your throat, and your head is throbbing, entire body almost begging you to just get back into bed.

because of this, your answers come out short, or you seem to space out of the conversations.

this isn't something that the crusaders don't take notice to, but most chalk it up to you still being sleepy, and simply decide to leave you be.

-

'she doesn't seem to be looking any better...' polnareff frowns at your state, fighting an internal battle trying to decide if he should inquire about your health here and now, or if he was simply overthinking it.

as you're resting, you unconsciously shiver, something your brother jotaro doesn't fail to notice amongst the chatter and laughter at the table.

he mutters his signature "good grief" before standing up to toss his jacket over you before promptly returning to his seat.

you jump at the sudden weight, looking straight across the table at your brother right as he retakes his seat.

you mouth a quick "thank you, nii-chan" readjusting the oversized jacket comfortably, only now realizing how you were shivering.

jotaro only clicks his tongue in return.

despite this, he keeps his attention on you, having sensed something being off with you from the moment he saw you.

(not to mention polnareff's inability to keep his eyes off of you for ten seconds at a time. even if that was the usual case with him, something was different about it this time, like he was concerned about something. as your big brother, he decided to watch you for the time being).

polnareff watched the exchange, wishing he had a jacket that he could wrap around you. he would've loved to wrap his arms around you instead, but no way was he about to do that in front of everyone, much less in front of joseph and jotaro, lest he be restrained by hermit purple and pummeled half to death by star platinum.

. . .

yeah, absolutely not.

just as he shudders at the thought the meals arrive.

"ah, that looks good! bon appetit~"

you nod, picking up your utensils, hoping that having something in your system will improve your state in some way.

-

"y/n-chan, are you not feeling hungry today?"

avdol's inquiry catches the crusader's attention, everyone's eyes shifting to your half-full plate.

you take a peek at everyone else's plates, either empty or almost there, before shaking your head, reaching for your water cup to down the rest of it.

you couldn't bring yourself to eat much more than a couple of bites, only trying for more as to not worry everyone (though, you usually loved to eat to your heart's content, so even seeing you only eat so much has them concerned, something you didn't consider. who knew they were so attentive towards you?)

you pull jotaro's jacket tighter around you. all you want is to lie down in the thick comforter of the inn bed once more, go back to sleep, and hope that that's the remedy for your annoying sickness.

speaking of, even after eating, you don't feel any better. your headache is still ongoing, dizziness lingering so much so that the room is lightly spinning, your throat hurts no matter how much water you've had, and despite your brother's jacket, you still feel so damn cold!

unbeknownst to you, jotaro and polnareff give you a concerned look, noting how cold you seem to be despite being wrapped in such a large jacket. were you breaking out in a cold sweat?

joseph stares at your unfinished plate for a few lingering moments, humming in thought before speaking up.

"well, if everyone's finished, let's get going shall we?"

as everyone begins to get up from their seats, polnareff is quick to get your chair for you again, holding a hand out for you to take.

"allow me, mademoiselle~"

you crack a smile at his antics, standing up before the lingering dizziness takes over completely. the noise around you begins to merge until it fades to nothing at all, and the next thing you know, you're flush against something warm, your consciousness slowly slipping away.

"woah! y-y/n? Y/N! hey, she passed out!!!!"

even through his panic, polnareff acts quickly, catching your now limp body, cradling you securely against his chest.

at polnareff's cries, the rest of the crusaders quickly shift their attention to you two, everyone quickly growing alarmed at your sudden unconscious state.

"Y/N!"

"damn! you really were... you idiot..." mutters jotaro as he quickly makes his way over.

"OH MY GOD-! is she okay??? what happened?? was it something she ate? why didn't she say anything?!??"

no one can keep up with joseph's questions as he checks over you for himself, frustrated and panicked at the same time.

polnareff shifts you in his hold, bringing the back of his hand up to your forehead.

"damn, she's burning up! she really is sick..."

"what should we do, joestar-san? is there anyway i can help?" kakyoin is quick to offer his services in whatever way he can.

"jotaro, kakyoin, go find some place to get medicine for her. avdol, polnareff, take her back to one of the rooms, there's still time until we have to check out. i'll try to get ahold of one of the doctor's to ensure it's nothing serious."

"right. let's go, kakyoin," jotaro gestured to said man, walking off in the direction of the pharmacy.

"we'll be back soon!" kakyoin called, following right beside him.

"come on polnareff, we should get her into bed as soon as possible so she may rest."

"right!"

"take care of her... she's my precious granddaughter!"

even though joseph meant this in a serious way, it still somehow managed to come out in a sulking manner.

"we promise we will, joestar-san," avdol assured. "let's go, polnareff!"

"i swear i will," polnareff nodded, serious expression on his face before he made his way to the elevator with avdol.

polnareff kept hold of you close to his chest, heart pounding in anticipation for the elevator to arrive at the correct floor.

"did she tell you she wasn't feeling well, polnareff?" avdol broke the silence.

polnareff looked up, a guilty expression on his face. "she didn't.. but she did seem off today. i guessed she maybe wasn't feeling well at the table, but i didn't say anything..." he trailed off, regretful.

"perhaps she did not want us to worry, though, her actions were in vain, considering how everyone is scattered like rats now," avdol offered a smile to polnareff.

"so don't beat yourself up over it. i doubt she wanted to look weak, especially in front of you."

polnareff's face tinted pink, eyebrows raising in surprise. "hey, what do you mea-"

ding!

"come now, let's get her to the room, shall we?"

avdol steps out first, polnareff following close after, sparing a look at you in his arms.

'please be okay, y/n....'

-

"..doesn't seem to be serious.... weather change...."

"what a relief......"

"joestar-san, we found medicine!"

"hey, dont wake her-!"

"good grief..."

you stirred from your slumber, cracking your eyes open to see polnareff's worried expression focused on you.

he stood from where he was sat beside the bed, expression immediately brightening.

"hey, she's awake!"

you sit up slightly in your spot, taking a look around the room to see the rest of the crusaders seated around the bed you're resting in.

"ahhh, goodmorning again! it really was too early of a morning for you, hm?" joseph jokes, reaching a hand out to pat your head once more.

jotaro adjusted his hat, giving you a pointed look.

"geez, you're such a troublemaker, you know that? why didn't you just say something... dumbass."

"jotaro! be nice to your sister!"

"i'm sorry for worrying you all-" a short coughing fit interrupts your words, causing polnareff to gently pat your back to help you until it stops.

"i didn't want to hold us back, and i thought it wasn't that serious. i'm really sorry..."

the apology comes out as almost a whisper considering your sore throat, but it's enough to melt everyone's hearts as they're quick to forgive you.

"good grief..." jotaro mutters.

"don't listen to him, he was the most worried, you know?" joseph teases, continuing his patting.

"says you, old man. you're the one that was barking out demands at everyone, pestering the doctor just trying to do their job."

joseph retracts his hand in favor of pointing it at jotaro.

"why you-!"

you laugh at their bickering before kakyoin intervenes, attention completely on you.

"y/n-chan, it's such a relief you're alright. here, we have some medicine for you. it's supposed to work quite quick, and since you've already eaten something, i recommend you take it right away!"

you nod, thanking him sincerely.

you just begin to realize that you're no longer in jotaro's jacket (as he's wearing it once again), but that you're still incredibly warm before avdol quickly pipes up.

"are you warm enough? i had magician's red warm the blankets for you since you were shivering so much in your sleep."

you nod, thanking him too, before shifting your attention back to polnareff, who had retaken his seat: the one closest to you.

"you really worried me, you know? of course, it's a knight's job to protect the princess, but i didn't expect you to collapse into my arms like that! give a guy a warning next time, will you??"

despite his teasing, his eyes are darting around, and you can see what you think is a hint of a blush covering his cheeks- you're sure your own face is flushed by his words.

you're not sure if it's because of his heartfelt words, his bashful expression, or your sick-dazen state (maybe all of the above) but you reach out your arms to hug his left arm that's closest to you.

"Y-Y/N- wha- that's-"

"'m sorry, jean.... didn't mean to scare you so much..." you mutter, practically nuzzling into his arm, disregarding the others in the room.

his heart feels like its running a hundred miles a minute, and he doesn't think he'll ever get over how his name sounds spoken from your lips (even with your cracked voice).

as much as he loves you clinging to him like this, he can't help but fear for his life when jotaro and joseph are in the same room with him.

"h-he-hey! you must reaaaally be out of it. ka-kakyoin give her- hey, quit laughing! gi-give her the medicine, will you??!"

kakyoin stifles his laughter, quickly handing him a small plastic cup with the orange liquid at the correct measurement.

"here, i've already filled it up for you, y/n-chan. you just have to take it now."

your nose wrinkles at the smell alone, quickly tucking your head back into polnareff's arm and away from the medicine in kakyoin's outstretched hand.

"jeez, you're such a child," jotaro rolls his eyes at your reluctance. "i'll make you drink it if i have to."

joseph takes the cup with a proud "watch this, this always worked on my holly!" before holding it out to you.

"y/n~ if you drink this for jii-san, i'll buy you anything you like, okay?"

you turn back, give the medicine in his hand one single glance before shaking your head, hugging polnareff's arm closer to your chest.

joseph's triumphant smile quickly drops.

"WHAT??!?!"

"that sure worked like a charm," jotaro jokes.

"hey polnareff, why don't you try offering it to her?"

avdol suggests this with a playful smile on his face, almost as if he knew that it would work, but simply framed the tactic as a suggestion.

polnareff, still flustered, only nods, taking the medicine cup from a (pouting) joseph before lightly shaking his left arm to get your attention.

"come mon ange, i know this medicine doesn't ever taste good, but it's the only way to help you get better," he whispers.

you give a slow nod, and he's confident that he's got you.

"oui oui, that's it. i'll even..." he takes a side glance to the rest of the crusaders, eyes all locked on you two.

"i'll even help you. ready?"

you pick up your head, raising your lips to the small cup. polnareff tilts the liquid into your anticipating mouth, and you squeeze your eyes shut once the flavor hits your tongue.

in no time at all, the cup is empty, and you're reaching for a cup of water that was left at your bedside (something that polnareff left for you when you woke up, ready to ensure you'd be hydrated) which polnareff gets for you, trickling the water into your mouth slowly to ensure nothing would spill.

when you gestured you had enough, polnareff retracted the cup, swiping a thumb over your lips to dry them before placing the cup back on the bedside table.

". . ."

the crusaders almost felt like they had intruded on something that they shouldn't have.

the first one to say something was joseph, who was gawking at the entire exchange.

"OH-MY-GOD-!!!!!!!!"

polnareff jumped at joseph's cry.

"joestar-san-!"

"joestar-san, quiet down, she may still have a headache!" kakyoin gently scolds.

"calm down, old man," jotaro states plainly. "she took the medicine, right?"

avdol couldn't hold in his laughter, sending a wink towards polnareff, who quickly looked down at you, seemingly unbothered by your grandfather's antics.

you watch the chaos unfold, grateful to have everyone by your side like this.

"how long are we staying here?" you piped up, causing the commotion to momentarily seize.

joseph checked his watch before speaking up.

"hmm, we still have a couple of hours until we need to check out. take that time to rest up all that you can. by the time we leave, you'll have to take more medicine. if you're still too weak, one of us will have to carry you, alright?"

you nodded, "ok, jii-san."

"oooh that's it. now, you just be a good girl and rest up for the time being, ok?"

you nod again before looking back to polnareff.

"you're going to stay here, right?"

polnareff has always been weak to your charms, but something about you asking him to stay with that wide-eyed dazed look, your cute flushed face, your pursed pink lips-

it makes him almost completely fall at your mercy.

"of c-"

"hmm? will you, polnareff? are you sure you don't have anything more important to do? i'm completely capable of-"

"oh shut it, old man. she wants him to stay, he'll stay. i'll drag you out of here myself if i have to."

"JOTARO! you can't be serious!!! you're really okay with this???!"

"it doesn't matter to me," he trails off.

"but jotaro-!"

you're still looking up at polnareff expectantly, and he can't bare the thought of saying no to you.

"o-of course i'll stay. if that's what you want..." he replies bashfully.

he looks back to see both joseph and jotaro giving him a hard look.

did he say something wrong?!??!

"no funny business, yeah? she's sick-"

"what do you take me for?!??!"

"just make sure she's okay... let us know of any changes," jotaro says, giving polnareff a stern look. "that's my sister, ya know? wouldn't want anything unfortunate happening to the brat."

"of course, i'll let you know right away!" polnareff says a little louder than intended, hoping to earn both men's trust.

why do you have to have such scary relatives, mon coeur?!?!?

joseph lets out one last grunt before he steps out of the room, jotaro following after him.

"we'll be taking our leave to. i'll come back to check on her later, but if you need anything, i'll get it for you."

"kakyoin! you're the best, i appreciate it, really!"

kakyoin smiles before stepping out, back to his and jotaro's shared room.

avdol smiles knowingly at polnareff before speaking up.

"i almost thought i was watching a romance movie, with the way you fed her there."

"avdol!!!"

he chuckles, standing up and making his way out of the room.

"if she's cold again, let me know, and i'll bring out magician's red again. though, she seems... quite cozy for now, so i'm not too sure that will be necessary," he winks.

"avdol-!"

"see you lovebirds later," he waves before closing the door.

polnareff let's out a sigh, looking down at you, already having dozed off, still clutching onto his arm.

'what am i going to do with you, mon trésor?'

-

later, when it's finally time to check out, you're lightly shaken awake to get your next dose of medicine before polnareff offers you a ride on his back, gently settling you before you rest once more. because of this, you miss the way he's blushing hard, all too aware of your soft, warm body so close to his, and you miss the looks that your brother and joseph shoot at him, ensuring that he's holding you securely. the crusaders talk about their next stop while polnareff is lost in his thoughts.

he decides that, once you're feeling better, he ought to be honest with you and confess his feelings properly. for now, he'll continue to do everything that he can to help you feel better, and to keep you extra safe until then.

-

a/n: omg i actually wrote something lol.... wanted to write something w polnareff for awhile n i was sick recently so in that state i wrote this up LOL.... feel like i don't see a surplus off jjba x reader on here ,so i also wanted to write something myself hehe... hopefully it came out well? i was originally just gonna do short hc's but then this happened.... editing this drove me insane LOL. tbh im only on pt4 of jojos ,but still hoping to write more in the future :P my only concern is the french petnames.... i searched up a list for ideas but from my memory, i remember the mon/ma but the list i found only had "mon" for some pet names n both options for the other ,so that's why there's both. otherwise, i hope it came out well n if anyone reads it ,thanks lol~

[nicoline1998enilocin]

''Just readin' our lines, darling''

PAIRING | Tom Hiddleston x Assistant!Female!Reader

WORD COUNT | 1.9K

SUMMARY | Tom is getting ready to read his lines for a new movie he's working on, and he requested your help with doing just that. Since the both of you have been pining for each other for a while you agree, and you won't regret it when you see the scene he wants to read with you.

WARNING(S) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Mutual pining, Tom is a bit of a smooth flirt, smut [ oral (M receiving), fingering, protected sex, lots of praises ], lots of romantic fluff.

REQUEST | @formyexperiments - Tom Hiddleston x assistant reader where reader for the first time reads lines with Tom which happens to be a romantic /steamy scene and it so happens that they're both pining for each other

A/N | Thank you so much for this lovely request, and I hope you enjoy the route I took with this! 🖤

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Main Masterlist | Tom Hiddleston Masterlist

''Darling, could you maybe help me with reading the lines for this scene? It seems that I can't get them in my head, so I hope you will help me remember them,'' he asks and you look up from your laptop. You were currently drafting up an email that goes to his publisher, but that wasn't too important so it can wait a few minutes. ''Are you sure? I mean, I've never read lines with anyone before,'' you shrug, but you're secretly over the moon that he asked you. ''You'll be perfect, there's no need to worry,'' he says and you sigh. ''Fine, but only if you let me finish this email first, otherwise your publisher won't be too happy with us,'' you say and he nods.

A short 30 minutes later you're done and you close your laptop, and within an instant, Tom is back on his feet from the chair he was waiting in. ''Wow, you're pretty eager for someone who just wants to read some lines,'' you joke and he brushes it off. ''That's not true, I wasn't eager, I just happened to be getting up at the same time you happened to be done,'' he says and you just laugh. God, your crush on this man was truly getting out of hand now, it wasn't even that funny yet you laugh like it was the best joke you'd ever heard.

''Can I have the lines? I can't help you read them if I don't know what they are,'' you say and he walks over to you, and hands you a copy of the lines he wants you to read with him. ''I highlighted your lines to make it a little easier,'' he says as he stands a little too close for someone who is just handing you something. Your breath hitches when your fingers touch and suddenly your brain appeared to have just completely shut off, there is not a single thought behind your eyes except for him. You read the lines and when you see what kind of scene it is, you're not sure you can do this anymore.

''Tom, I-, I'm sorry but I don't think I can do this,'' you say as you avoid his eyes and just look at the floor. ''It's okay, we're just readin' our lines, darling. Don't worry about anything else,'' he says and you swallow thickly, agreeing to do it anyways. You look over them one more time, and he starts to read his lines. The scene happens to be Tom's character professing his love for the girl he has been in love with for a long time, which is perfect because he has been in love with you for a long time.

''There's no one else I want more than you. It's always been you, and it always will be you, Y/N. If you choose me, I promise I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I will give you everything you could ever wish for and more, and I promise to love you unconditionally, until the end of time,'' Tom reads as he keeps walking closer and closer to you until there's barely any space left between the two of you. You gasp softly as he cups your face in one of his hands, moving your gaze to meet his as he speaks the next lines. ''I'm in love with you, Y/N, I have been for years and I can only hope you feel a fraction of the love for me, that I feel for you,'' he says and you completely forgot what you're doing.

Suddenly Tom's hand moved to hold your chin between his thumb and index finger, guiding your face to his as he captures your lips with his. This wasn't in the script, but you'd be damned if you would say you aren't enjoying every last second of this. Your script falls to the floor as your hands find their home around Tom's neck, and he lifts you by the back of your thighs so you can wrap your legs around his waist. When the two of you break the kiss for some air, you can't help the giggle that escapes you. ''I've wanted to do that for so long, and I'm glad I finally did it,'' Tom says, and all you say in response is ''Take me to the bedroom, please,''.

It doesn't take long for him to close the bedroom door behind the two of you and he walks over to the bed where he lays you down gently as he starts undressing you. When he takes off your dress he reveals a gorgeous black and green lingerie set which takes his breath away when he sees it. ''You look gorgeous in this, but I think you'd be even more beautiful when you're wearing nothing at all,'' he says with a smirk, and you can't help but blush. You sit up and pull Tom towards you so you can undress him too. One by one you unbutton the buttons on his shirt and when it falls open you're greeted by a muscular chest and stomach.

You've had many dreams about him and his body, but they will never compare to the real thing. Your hands slide over his muscles and he closes his eyes at the feeling of your soft hands stroking him, and suddenly your hands move down to his pants, quickly opening and unzipping before pulling it down in one smooth motion. ''I want to taste you on my tongue,'' you say as you look up at him, and the way you're looking at him makes him almost go feral, but he wants the first time with you to be nothing but pleasure and love. There would be more than enough time for roughness and manhandling on other occasions.

When he stepped out of his pants it was very obvious Tom was getting pretty hard already, so you decided to help him even more by palming him through his underwear, as well as giving soft kisses along his shaft over the fabric of his underwear. ''Please, don't tease like that,'' he groans and you just smile before pulling his underwear down too, making his throbbing dick fly up against his stomach with a splat from the precum that had leaked already. Without the least bit of hesitation, you wrap your mouth around his tip, which makes Tom grunt deeply from his chest and you were squeezing your thighs together to get some sort of friction.

You're trying to take as much of him as you can as you're bobbing your head back and forth while sucking in your cheeks, and it earns you lots of praise from Tom. ''Doin' so good for me, fuck, feels so perfect wrapped around my cock, darlin'. Knew you would take me so beautifully,'' he moans softly and you wrap your hands around the part of his shaft you can't reach. His hands have found their way into your hair but he didn't force himself into you, he let you go at your own pace and you're very appreciative of that.

You keep doing that for a few more minutes before Tom feels his orgasm approaching quickly and he suddenly pulls out, leaving you whining softly at the loss of him in your mouth. ''It's okay darling, I'm almost there but I want to cum when I'm inside that soaking wet pussy of yours,'' he says as he pushes you down onto the bed and you crawl back a little, making room for him. He unclasps your bra and takes it off, adoring your breasts for a little bit before taking off your underwear and letting his hands roam over your legs, sides, and arms as he is moving over you.

He kisses you slowly but full of passion before moving away to grab a condom out of his nightstand. As much as he wants to cum inside you, he doesn't want to risk getting you pregnant yet. He rips the foil open and rolls it onto himself before resuming his earlier activities of roaming his hands over your body. This time he had a clear goal in mind, and he was determined to make you cum on his fingers before he would even think about filling you up. His long slender fingers slipped inside you without a single doubt and you gasped at the feeling, already feeling stuffed from just 2 of his fingers.

''You're doing perfect for me darling, taking my fingers so well. Can feel you clench around them, are you close?'' he asks and with his other hand, he finds your clit, hitting your sweet spot in and outside of your pussy at the same time to pull an overwhelming orgasm out of you within no time at all. You become a moaning and whining mess on his fingers and he loves it, making him unable to wait any longer to be buried inside you. ''Gonna fill you up real good now darling, I'll go slow for you,'' he says as he nudges your entrance with his tip.

You immediately relax and before you know it he's buried inside you to the hilt, and rutting into you as he's chasing his orgasm as well as your second one. ''T-Tom, it feels so good inside me!'' you say and he leans down to kiss you passionately. All that can be heard is erratic moans and groans as well as the sound of skin against skin as he keeps thrusting into you. When his fingers find your clit again he has you falling apart again and with a loud moan of his name you cum again, followed shortly after by Tom. When he's done riding out both your orgasms he pulls out and discards the condom before getting a warm washcloth to clean both of you up.

''I can't believe we just did that,'' you tell him and you hide your face behind your hands to disguise your flushed cheeks. ''Don't hide from me, my darling, I want to see that beautiful face of yours,'' he says and you take your hands away, Tom grabs one of them and rubs soft circles over the back. ''How do you feel?'' he asks and you're still a little bit fuzzy, but you don't mind in the slightest. ''Perfect,'' you say as your eyes fall shut with pure bliss, and a lot of sleepiness now. ''Wanna cuddle with you,'' you tell him and he gladly accepts, pulling your back flush against his chest as he nuzzles in your neck.

''I want you to be mine, darling. There's no one else I want more than you. It's always been you, and it always will be you, Y/N. If you choose me, I promise I will treat you the way you deserve to be treated. I will give you everything you could ever wish for and more, and I promise to love you unconditionally, until the end of time,'' he says, recounting the lines from the script he read earlier, but he means it. He will do whatever it takes to make you the happiest woman on earth.

''I choose you, Tom, I will choose you over and over again, not only in this lifetime and this universe but in every other lifetime and every other universe there is. It has always been you, and it will always be you,'' you say and you seal your promise with a kiss. ''I love you more than anyone I've ever loved before,'' you say as you nuzzle into him now. ''I love you too, darling,'' he says and you fall asleep in the arms of the man you love, with butterflies going absolute haywire in your stomach and the biggest smile anyone has ever had on their face.

[7-wonders]

Just the Two of Us

Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Summary: Anakin finally returns to you, and neither of you can wait for a better time or place to truly reunite.

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Was feeling the itch to write for Anakin again, so whipped up a short little something for you guys. Hope you enjoy :)

The blue light from your holocomputer is beginning to hurt your eyes from how long you’ve had to stare at it. You’re close to just giving up on this draft, but you know that you can’t. Not when you’re so close to being done with it, and not when there are people whose lives may very well depend on what you’re working on. Such is the life of a senator of the Galactic Republic.

When a knock sounds at your office door, you blink rapidly when you look up, trying to get your eyes to adjust from different styles of lighting.

“Yes?” you call out.

“I have a visitor here for you, says you're expecting him,” the voice on the other side of the door says.

Your heart begins to pound. Is he really back? Could it be him? You won’t know until you say anything. “Come in!”

The door opens, and two people walk into your office. Immediately, you beam.

Anakin Skywalker nods respectfully. “Good afternoon Senator, do you have a moment?”

“Master Skywalker, come in! You’ve caught me between meetings.” You look behind him at your personal assistant, ever loyal and ready to politely show an unwanted guest to the door at your signal.. “Thank you, Ryssa. Go ahead and take lunch; I can make it to my next appointment without a reminder.”

 The Chiss woman smiles and nods before stepping out of the room and closing the heavy doors behind her. You press a button on the keypad sitting on your desk, and both you and your guest listen as the lock on the door slides into place. 

The moment that it does, your carefully-professional personas melt. In the time it takes for you to stand up at your desk (not very long at all), Anakin has already used his incredibly long strides to cross the room. He sweeps you up into his arms and you squeal, melting into the hug that he gives you.

Finally, after two weeks of being unmoored, you feel like you’re home.

“I missed you,” you mumble into his ear, not willing to release him from your embrace just yet.

“I missed you too, sweetheart.”

Anakin’s the one to pull back first, but only so that he can look at you with that heartbreakingly-sweet gaze of his, the one that makes you melt every time you see it. It’s impossible to resist, and you lean in to kiss him for the first time in two weeks.

“Being apart from you is the worst agony I’ve ever known,” Anakin says against your lips, trying to simultaneously talk and kiss you.

“But we’re together again now,” you reassure him. “There’s no reason for us to worry anymore.”

Unfortunately, there will be reason for you to worry again. Anakin will get orders to a new planet or system, or you’ll get sent back to your home planet for a variety of senatorial events. In this time of war and strife, it’s inevitable that you’ll again be separated from each other. That worry, that knowledge, is what makes you hold onto him tighter. Though this may be temporary, you currently have him in your arms, and you’re not going to let go until you absolutely have to.

Anakin nods before kissing you again. Of course, since it has been two whole weeks since you felt his body against yours, and vice versa, it doesn’t take long for that innocent kiss to devolve into something a little more steamy. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn’t be complaining, especially when he crowds you up against the wall and begins to run his hands up and down your sides. Today, though, there’s one unfortunate matter holding you back.

“I only have ten minutes before my next meeting, Ani,” you explain, trying to get your hands on his chest so that you can push him off of you.

Anakin scoffs. “I can easily get it done for both of us in ten minutes.”

“I have to meet your best friend in ten minutes! We have,” you pause to moan into the junction of where his neck meets his shoulder as he sucks at the skin just behind your ear, “we’re going over our joint proposal to enact sanctions on the Banking Clan.”

“You say this as if Padmé doesn’t know about our relationship and hasn’t covered for us before.” 

Padmé Amidala had been the one to introduce you, back when you were a freshman senator and she had been kind enough to take you under her wing. She was so sweet, and would absolutely do anything for you and Anakin, which is why you always felt so bad asking. 

Anakin, however, shared none of the qualms that you did. Luckily for both of you, Padmé was a romantic and loved getting to help a relationship flourish, even if in secret.

“That doesn’t mean I enjoy doing it.” Still, you continue kissing him, relishing in how soft his skin is against yours as your hands slide under his robes.

“C’mon baby, just ten minutes. Then you’re off to your meeting, and Padmé’s none the wiser!” Anakin says this as if she wouldn’t be able to smell the sex on you, which she absolutely would. You can already see her little smile, the one that she gets whenever she catches you or Anakin being in love with each other, the one that says she’s so proud of her work.

“You’re such a menace.”

Instead of saying anything, Anakin simply proves your point by ghosting his knuckles over your clothed crotch, and when your knees buckle, he grins wolfishly.

(What? There’s a war going on that often keeps you and your lover apart for prolonged periods of time, and fingers and holocalls can only do so much)

“Am I?” he asks.

You nod. “A very sexy, very irresistible menace.”

His blue eyes light up. “So…are you saying yes?”

You glance at the clock on your desk. Even if Anakin keeps to his promise of ten minutes, you’re still going to be late. But it is tempting, you won’t lie. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t be a very big deal if I was just a couple of minutes late to our meeting,” you say with a sigh, the battle having already been lost by now.

Anakin laughs in delight and victory, fingers already working at unbuttoning your trousers. “I thought about you, about this, every night while I was gone.”

It’s very sweet, what he’s saying, but you’re too consumed by lust right now to want to listen. You grab his chin with your fingers and look at him. “Less talking, more kissing.”

He smirks, but does as you’ve asked. “Your wish is my command.”

•••

You stumble into Padmé’s office approximately twenty minutes later. In an attempt to throw her off your trail, you keep your head down and focus on the holopad that you’re holding, but you can feel her perceptive eyes tracking you nonetheless.

“Sorry I’m late, I was making some last-minute changes to the draft.”

“I’d say.” The smile in her voice is obvious, and you look up to see exactly what you knew you’d find were you to give into Anakin’s pleas. Blood rushes to your cheeks immediately, and you shift in your seat at the prickles of nervous sweat along the top of your spine.

“Don’t look at me like that!” you whine.

Padmé holds up her hands, but her smile only grows. “Like what? I’m just…happy to see that you’re happy.”

You shake your head and pull up the aforementioned draft. “Anyways, our bill.”

“Yes! Our bill.”

And so you get down to business, with Anakin on your mind and in your heart the whole time.

[chelseeebe]

do you think i have forgotten (about you)

a part two to come pick me up.

summary: eddie finds himself out of jail and right back on your doorstep. running from his past while trying desperately to fix the mess he had left you in only leads to complicated situations.

a/n: so this is actually not what i had expected to post lmfao but similar to part one i reread this in my drafts and literally fell in love.. like it needed to be posted.

18+. smut, smoking, drug and alcohol use. mentions of jail and creepy therapists. angst.. sweet sweet angst. as before, this is stevexreader however this part is way more about eddie and r.

you can’t lie. the last few months had been pretty tough, on both you and steve. through no fault of his own though.

you were just.. unwell. perhaps you always had been and the process of seeing someone you regarded as your best friend beat the shit out of someone and subsequently be jailed for it had brought all those feelings up.

‎♡‧₊˚

not to mention the emotional toll of him dipping in and out of your life and the countless other reckless shit he’d pulled you into before.

currently things were stable, yours and steve’s relationship was good, you were going to work and succeeding in being mostly sober. a little help from a short stay in a psychiatric ward and some nice new pills had you feeling semi-okay again.

it had started not long after eddie was sentenced, you’d sat in the docks of the courtroom and watched the judge bang the gavel down as he was sentenced to twenty four months. it stung knowing that he’d gotten himself in this position because you’d dared to kiss your boyfriend in front of him.

nevertheless, a few short weeks after the horrid court date you’d suffered a complete breakdown at a party. throwing anything you could get your hands on, sobbing hysterically as steve tried his best to calm you. right in front of everybody, their gawping eyes prying as you were escorted out by the police who had then issued a caution and had recommended to the judge that you needed some sort of mental health intervention.

at the time it was humiliating. the worst part being that it felt like everyone around you was walking on eggshells, trying to coddle you and tell you that it was all okay. you’d known it wasn’t. maybe it could be, but for right then, no.

coming back into the apartment and the real world had been quite frankly, awful. missing the safety of the ward, you couldn’t hurt anyone in there.

steve had been your saviour through it all. making sure he was there for every visit with a great big smile on his. he was gentle, giving you your meds, making sure you were eating and he’d even found you a job, helping you apply, christ he’d even ran through a mock interview with you, putting on a deep voice and asking you silly questions.

and do you know what?

eventually things got back to some sense of normality. braving your first gathering, trembling as you walked through the door, terrified that everyone would hate you only to find that all anyone had really cared about was making sure you were well again.

and that lands us here, finally finishing a dragging shift and traipsing home to collapse into bed to wait for steve to get home.

except, nearing the front door you notice it’s cracked open slightly. the door handle looks busted and you’re ninety percent sure that either someone was currently in your apartment or had been in and ransacked it.

you push the door open with one finger, it freaks loudly as it opens slowly, startling the intruder who curses and drops whatever they were holding.

‘you have five seconds to get the fuck out,’ you warn, creeping from behind the door frame nervously.

there’s a figure stood in the middle of the room, back turned to you who very slowly puts his hands in the air, surrendering.

he turns to face you, a shit-eating grin on his face and you finally recognise the cocky face staring back at you.

‘eddie?!’

he breathes a sigh of relief, ‘holy shit i was startin’ to think you’d moved out and i’d just broken into some strangers apartment,’ cackling as his arms outstretch to hug you.

‘what the fuck- what are you doing here? you’re supposed to be in jail!’ in utter disbelief that he was stood before you, debating whether pinching yourself would wake you up from this strange dream.

‘i got out! duh,’ he grins, making his way towards you, arms still outstretched.

‘you.. you got out? what? you’re not supposed to be out for like another year.. i don’t- i’m not understanding,’ carefully wrapping your arms around his shoulders as he pulls you into a hug.

he felt stronger, sturdy as his arms wrap around your waist. the hug lasts for what feels like an eternity until you back to properly examine his face and to once again check that you weren’t hallucinating.

‘i can’t believe you’re actually here.. how are you? i’m sorry i’ve been.. busy,’ trying to recover over the last few months had meant that you’d sorta neglected eddie, his last letter still in the clutter on your desk somewhere.. unanswered.

unfortunately for him, you’d had a few more important things to focus on. like trying not to break down and keep your relationship with steve afloat.

‘i’m good, i’m always good.. what’ve you been up to? i missed your letters,’ it was a simple statement but you’d never truly comprehend just how much receiving anything from you had meant to him, how much it kept him going.

you let go of him fully, motioning for him to take a seat, ‘it’s a super long story..’ sighing as you jam the bursted door shut, steve would have to look at it on his day off.

‘well it’s a good thing i’ve got time,’ collapsing into the cushions, making himself right at home.

-

you and eddie are sat on the couch smoking when the key turns in the door and steve walks in, looking just as exhausted as he did when he left this morning. the tiny shadow of a smile that was on his face is dropped the second he see’s eddie, replaced with a state of pure confusion.

‘what the fuck?’ he exclaims, dropping his bag onto the floor as eddie clambers off of the sofa to greet him.

steve’s face is a picture, eyebrows knitted together as eddie’s hand claps his back, ‘you’re supposed to be in prison?’

eddie pulls back, holding onto steves shoulder’s, ‘and you’re supposed to be happy to see me,’ faux-offended by steve’s confused stature.

‘no.. i am, what? why are you out?’

eddie shrugs him off, coming back to the couch, ‘ehh it’s a long story.. come.. sit, how was work, big boy?’ taking the spliff from your outstretched hand to offer to steve.

steve plonks himself down next to you, placing your legs over his thighs instead of the couch, ‘yeah.. it was alright, i’m sorry- why the fuck are you in my living room and not in federal prison?’ taking the burning joint from eddie’s fingers.

‘i got out,’ eddie offers back, the exact same thing he’d said to you. you had come to the conclusion that his departure from jail had perhaps not been entirely legal but it was way easier to brush it off rather than trying to probe him.

steve narrows his eye’s, obviously also not buying his bullshit but decides instead to smoke whatever had been handed to him, humming as he exhales a thick cloud of smoke.

‘i said that he could stay here.. just for a few days, if that’s okay?’ you ask, looking up at your boyfriend with hopeful eyes.

he pauses, contemplating if harbouring a, presumed, escaped convict was really a great idea, ‘uhh.. yeah i’m sure a few days is fine..’ he didn’t sound so sure himself.

‘thanks man,’ eddie nods, eyeing the door to his old bedroom.

the thing is, when eddie was convicted, his uncle had come to collect most of his stuff, taking it back to hawkins in his van. you’d thought he’d be locked up for at least two years so sending his things back to hawkins was the smartest idea. that meant when you guys moved out, you weren’t left to deal with his mountains of crap.

you catch him looking, feeling a tad guilty that he’d come back to nothing, ‘the bed’s still in there but.. it’s mostly storage now,’ scrunching your nose as you grimace.

‘that’s alright.. anything’s better than prison,’ he jokes, offering a saddened chuckle.

‘yeah.. exactly,’ not that you had much idea what prison was like, but from what eddie had told you, your living room floor would be an improvement.

the three of you spend a few hours right there on the couch, listening to eddie’s tales from jail, entangled with your stories of all the thing he’d missed. steve nudges you at some point, muttering something about bed which you agree with, rushing around to find eddie a spare blanket.

‘you’ll be okay in here?’ you ask, poised in the doorway.

‘yeah it’s great.. thank you,’ he smiles, sitting down on the edge of his old bed, peering around the now mostly empty room.

it felt a little suffocating if he was honest, the sheer amount of memories these blank four walls held. he swore he could hear echoes of your laugh from the times before, remembering the nights where you’d stumble back here and subsequently pass out in a heap on his bed. he shakes his head slightly, ridding himself of the thought before it got too deep.

‘okay, well.. goodnight,’ flashing him a tight-lipped smile before closing the door and making your way to your own room.

steve is stood facing the window, already stripped out of his clothes, ready for bed. he spins when he hears the door click shut, walking over to where you stood undressing with a grin, hands finding their place on your waist.

you hum at the feeling of his palms on your skin, ‘what’re you doing?’ shimmying out of your horrendous grey work trousers.

his lips softly press against the back of your neck and maybe it’s the weed or maybe it’s spite but he can’t help himself, fingers coming down to mess with the waistband of your panties. placing your hand over his to stop him from going any further.

‘we can’t,’ you hush, acutely aware that eddie was just a few doors down and would most certainly hear.

‘we can.. you’ll just have to be quiet,’ murmuring against the back of your neck, your hand doing absolutely nothing to really try and stop him. ‘can you do that for me?’

he travels further down, past the flimsy waistband, feeling his smirk widen against your skin as you sigh softly, sliding your hand onto his forearm, using it for leverage while his middle finger begins to circle your already sensitive clit.

your sex life hadn’t been what it was in the beginning, both of you busy with work and mental health crises that it was now more of a rarity to find the time. it’s not really lost on you as to why steve is so eager for it tonight but you couldn’t help but to feel at least a little turned on by this sudden bout of possessiveness.

your eyes flutter closed as he adds another finger to the equation, letting your body lean back against his bare chest, ‘my god,’ you moan softly, leaving crescent moon shapes indented in his skin.

‘hmm? is that good, baby?’ his plump, pink lips pressing gentle kisses to you neck and shoulders, teeth grazing the agile skin. he’s unforgiving and really not trying to be quiet at all.

it was definitely spite.

you can feel his erect cock against your ass, unknowingly writhing around, brushing up against him. his fingers hastily leave the safety of your now sodden underwear, manoeuvring your body to face him.

‘you’re such an asshole,’ you hush, gripping onto his arms for balance, walked backwards towards the bed.

a menacing smirk plastered on his face as he falls on top of you, knowing full well that eddie could definitely hear your soft pants and the way your lips echoed his name. stevestevesteve.

his fingers are brushing the hair from your face, making sure you were looking at him. it’s disgusting how attractive you find this. steve wasn’t usually one for such outward jealousy but you couldn’t say you hated it. legs wrapping around his torso after he had slipped your underwear off.

you don’t even attempt to conceal the whimper that ripples through your throat when he slides into your cunt. gripping onto his shoulders as the bed begins to creak, headboard knocking into the dry wall, unapologetic with his movements.

completely unashamed.

-

you’re eternally grateful that eddie doesn’t mention anything the next morning though he avoids steve’s eye and keeps his head low until he leaves for work. breathing an almost undetected sigh of relief when the door clicks shut.

the pair of spend most of the day lounging on the couch in front of the television, watching the overdue videos steve had neglected to return. the darkness eventually creeps up on you. the moon shining through the windows.

‘c’mon.. let’s go out,’ eddie nudges your knee with his, a devilish grin plastered across his face. he’d been bored shitless all day, as much as he enjoyed the mundane with you.. he wanted to go out. feel that rush through his veins as you got into something you shouldn’t.

‘i shouldn’t.. i’ve been doing good lately, it’s.. i can’t,’ sinking further into the sofa. you wanted to go out, really. but you and eddie going out alone together was a recipe for disaster.

‘and that’s why you deserve a treat.. c’mon, i know you want to,’ egging you on, now poking your knee with his finger, his other hand gripping onto the warm beer can.

you ponder for a second, pursing your lips as you weigh up the pros and cons. you don’t have to get wasted.. you could go out with eddie and be back before steve got home from work. yeah. you could do that.

‘where?’

eddie’s smile widens, he’d anticipate a hell of a lot more nagging and pleading than this, ‘fucking.. anywhere, the night is young and so are we.’

‘okay.. but, we’re having a normal night.. nothing crazy and i wanna be back here before steve is, got it?’ raising your eyebrows as you down the last sliver of wine.

‘absolutely.. whatever you want,’ eddie chuckles, slapping his knees as he stands from the couch, ‘c’mon.. get dressed.’

you stare up at him for a moment before getting up from the couch and slinking into yours and steve’s room. he wouldn’t be happy about this but if you were home and in bed before he was, he wouldn’t have much to complain about and if he did, he’d get over it.

and hey, maybe you could prove to him that you were okay now. that you were ready and able to handle things on your own.

-

everyone goes absolutely crazy when eddie walks in, almost as if he’d been locked up for a year. there are a few unhappy murmurs, worried onlookers who had been there that night.

but he doesn’t seem to care, shaking hands and chatting to everyone that came up to him. people handing him cups of mystery liquor which eventually got passed onto you.

you’re perched next to him on the couch, drinking the vile tasting liquid without a second thought. the odd person still coming up to him in shock, asking all sorts about what life was like on the inside.

and he just laughs and tell them the same generic story about earning his way and how eventually people listened to him. you doubt much of it is actually true but let him continue nonetheless. what did you know about prison?

bedsides, you’d seen the scars that now littered his knuckles and forearms. how his muscles had grown and the way his nose now bent slightly to the left. he must’ve done something to earn them.

your head is pretty fuzzy the first time the plate full of mystery white powder is passed around. respectfully declining and mumbling about sticking to drink.

but by the second time it comes your way, you’re glancing down at the porcelain with eager eyes. one tiny line couldn’t hurt, right? you still had plenty of time to sober up and get home before steve.

so you pick up the rolled up note, eddie’s eyes watching like a hawk, ‘hey.. you sure?’ his own jaw clenching from his previous line.

‘it’s fine,’ you nod reassuringly, holding one nostril and sniffing the pre-cut line, sniffing harshly. you’d forgotten how much it stung, making your eyes water as you pass the plate onwards.

you sit back into the couch, watching as the conversation roars around you. waiting for that sweet, sweet feeling when it finally hit.

and oh boy, does it.

one second you’re sat on the couch and the next you’re pulling eddie up onto his feet, trying to make him dance along to the pounding music with you. it all sounded so good. your body warm and loose. heart pounding in your chest as the beat vibrates through your limbs.

you’re not sure how long you’re dancing for, keeping your eyes closed while other people start getting up to join you.

not even questioning the second line when it re-emerges. still slowly sipping on what was now a dark liquor, bitter in taste, burning your throat on the way down.

eddie’s hand gingerly touches your waist causing you to pull your eyes to him. he’s dancing too, clutching onto the beer bottle, pupils dilated as they cling to you. cling to your body. moving in time with his.

everything’s a little blurry but you keep your eyes steady on eddie, smiling as the music distorts in your ears. it sounded robotic and weird but still had you wiggling your hips in time with the odd beat.

his other hand meets your waist, more confidently this time, pulling your body towards his. you think nothing of it, focussed on moving in time to the music.

eddie’s hand moves up to cup your cheek, the party bleating on around you as he tips your chin up towards his. a soft smile on his face as your eyes meet his fully.

the next few seconds happen so quickly that you’re not even sure if it actually happened.

his lips crash against yours, pressing himself to your chest, hand clinging to your cheek. he’s desperate with it, hungry and insatiable.

the magic dust you’d just inhaled must have softened your inhibitions because you’re kissing him back. palm pressed against his chest, fingers curling into his t-shirt.

until you finally realise exactly what you’re doing.

pulling yourself away from him, stumbling backwards as you blink up at him. had you actually just kissed him? no, why the fuck had he kissed you?

‘what the fuck are you doing?’ you exclaim, mind still hazy under the influence of whatever narcotics they were passing around.

your stomach twists. steve was probably sat at home waiting for you to get back, worried sick about where you’d gone. all the while you’re kissing his best friend at a party he had no idea was happening. it makes your stomach twist, guilt coursing through your chest.

you back away from eddie, tripping over another party goers outstretched legs as you go. head pounding, hands tingling. everything surrounding you had become a massive blur of flashing lights and distorted faces.

‘fuck.. wait!’ eddie calls out from the living room but you’re already gone, pushing past the gaggle of people in the hallway as you fumble for the doorknob.

the cold air hitting you the second the door is open, you hadn’t brought a jacket. or had you? you can’t really remember.

there are people strewn across the front yard, watching as you stumble down the path, fumbling for your phone in you pocket. the letters all jumble into one as you click through searching for steve's contact. slamming the green button the second you recognise the slight curve of the s.

he answers on the first ring, ‘hello? where are you?’ you’d missed the tens of missed calls from his number.

‘i’m.. i don’t know,’ sobbing into the receiver as one of the onlookers from the party approaches you, ‘where are we?’

from what you can make out, it’s a young girl, she looks worried as she takes the phone from your hand and places it to her ear, telling steve whatever street you were on. her spare hand reaches out to rub your back, keeping you close to her body as steve fucking sprints from your apartment to the address.

eddie makes absolutely zero attempts to try and find you, assuming that you’d already run off home. fuck it, he was out now. might as well prolong the inevitable argument with steve for as long as possible.

when steve arrives, he’s practically frantic, taking you from the kind girl as he leads you off home. his arm keeping your body held upright as you wail the entire way home.

‘steve..’ you sniffle, being guided into the empty apartment, ‘we kissed- eddie kissed me.. i didn’t mean to, i promise,’ clinging onto his neck as you’re lead into your bedroom.

he’s weirdly silent, placing you gently onto the bed, taking off your shoes before sitting down on the edge of the mattress.

‘have you taken anything?’ he questions, choosing to ignore your confession, for his own sanity mostly.

you nod into the pillow, sprawled out on the mattress as the room spins around you. it’s dizzying, and not just the room spinning but the fact that steve was still so gentle even after your admission.

‘what? what d’you take?’

‘i don’t know.. coke i think.’

he nods, swallowing the growing fury in his throat, ‘i’ll get you some water, try and sleep yeah?’

he goes to get up but you’re already grabbing onto his forearm, keeping him firmly on the bed, ‘don’t go.. please,’ your voice hoarse from the party.

god, you thought. you sound utterly pitiful, ashamed that even after all he had done for you, you couldn’t hold your shit together on your own and were still relying on steve.

‘okay,’ he whispers, kicking his shoes off and swinging his legs over and onto the bed, sitting up on the pillows rather than joining you properly.

his arm snakes around your back, lifting your body ever so slightly to slide his arm under, pulling you onto his warm chest. stubbly chin coming to rest atop of your head.

you nestle your head into his cotton shirt, ‘i love you,’ head rising with every breath he took, closing your eyes and attempting to fall asleep despite the fact it felt like there was something stabbing into the side of your brain.

-

steve’s sat, deadpanned on the couch when eddie attempts to creep back in. startled by his presence in the darkened room. by this time, the birds had begun to chirp as the first rays of sunlight crept through the blinds.

‘shit man..’ eddie clutches his chest, ‘you scared me,’ he fumbles his way through the room, still pretty intoxicated, lips sore from chewing on them all night.

steve blinks, scrunching up his face as the other boy takes a seat next to him. eddie’s sure he knows. you had definitely told him. jesus christ, why wouldn’t you? he fucked up. again.

‘you can’t stay here anymore,’ steve states, stoic.

he wasn’t letting much on here. eddie almost wishes he’d just beat his ass and get it over with at least it’d be better than this creepy shit he had going on.

‘bro.. i’m sorry, i was fucked up.. i don’t know what the hell i was doing,’ he’s staring wide-eyed at steve who’s staring straight ahead, jaw tense, ‘shit, punch me if you want.. god knows i’d deserve it.’

‘i don’t care,’ steve presses his tongue to the back of his teeth, ‘you come back and you fuck everything up.. do you know how hard i’ve tried to help her.. all these meds and doctors appointments,’ steve’s shoulder’s slump, ‘fuck man, i even had to take her to this creepy ass therapist and try not to beat the shit out of him every time i dropped her off.. d’you know how hard that was?’ he sounds desperate now, dropping the weird, unsettling facade, turning to eddie with a genuine look of hurt upon his face.

eddie’s mouth opens to reply, but he has nothing to say. hasn’t a clue how to answer that because he didn’t know. yeah, you’d told him about it and how steve hadn’t left your side throughout it all but he had no idea that this was how steve had felt.

‘no,’ steve scoffs, ‘no you don’t know.. because you weren’t there,’ he sighs before continuing, ‘you didn’t have to watch the love of your life be dragged away because some judge had deemed her crazy. you weren’t there week in, week out in that hospital.. helpless.’

steve wouldn’t ever think of you as a burden but fuck, he needed to tell literally anyone the shit he had bottled up and eddie was now the (un)willing participant to catch the brunt of his frustration.

eddie swallows, staring out into the dark room, ‘i didn’t know.. i’m sorry,’ he’s scrambling now, trying to think of something, anything to say that could help, but he can’t. in steve’s eyes, he’s the one who continually seems to ruin shit for you. ruin you.

‘so no, i don’t want to hit you because you kissed my girlfriend but i do want to fucking kill you for coming in here and messing her up all over again,’ steve spits, his words like venom as they hit eddie square in the face.

any traces of intoxication had been pummelled from his body, head beginning to pound from the impending hangover, chest heavy under the weight of steve’s words.

his eyes squeeze shut. he was a fuck up and he knew it. he wasn’t sure why he’d even done it. you just looked so pretty and blissful and.. and you’d smiled at him the way you used to and he’d thought that maybe that had meant something. the few seconds that you’d kissed him back had felt like euphoria, for the first time in so long everything felt right again.

steve interrupts his train of self-pitying thought by standing from the couch, turning to walk away but pauses, ‘i’ll help you find somewhere tomorrow.. maybe nance n’ all will let you stay,’ and even through all of this steve couldn’t help but be kind to the man.

that’s what hit eddie the hardest, that even though he had hurt his best friend.. he was still stood in front of him throwing him a line and offering a sense of patience and understanding that eddie hadn’t felt in far too long.

he watches in silence as steve slinks off to your shared bedroom, head hanging low in utter shame. he’d never admit aloud, and especially not to steve, but the thought of you was the one thing getting him through his sentence.

the first few months were pretty rocky, having to prove himself time and time again, resulting in a multitude of different injuries but at the end of the day, he’d climb into his bunk and re-read the letters you’d sent. thumbing the pages until they were yellowed and worn. the mere thought of you still thinking about him was enough to make him get out of bed each morning.

he peers down at his scarred hands, tracing over the glistening white indentations. they all told their own individual story, the big one that ran across the large part of his hand was the worst after being slashed with a makeshift shiv during a fight. he was quite lucky really, his hand had taken the majority of the damage and had meant he wasn’t left to bleed out on the floor.

so he’d gotten stitches, kept his mouth shut and things had started to change. and yet still, every night he’d go to bed thinking of your face, telling himself that it wasn’t long to go.

you were his saving grace. the only thing that had stopped him slipping into darkness. he’d thought about it plenty, hurting himself or one of the douchebag inmates he shared the small space with. at least that way he’d get moved into solitary, maybe he’d even prove himself to the other guys.

-

you keep quiet when steve comes into your bedroom, unsure of whether to let him know you had practically heard their entire conversation. the mattress dips when he gets into bed, exhaling softly and making sure the blanket is covering both of you.

he sits in silence for a moment, you can feel his eyes burning into your face before he eventually settles in and lies back on the pillow.

‘are you mad at me?’ you squeak, gazing at him from tired eyes.

your voice startles him, so sure that you were still asleep but he answers quickly, ‘no, never,’ turning on his side to face you, inches from your face. it felt so intimate like this, vulnerable.

‘i heard what you said.. i’m sorry for..’ your bottom lip wobbles and you try hard to blink away the brimming tears, ‘for putting you through that.’

he’s immediately comforting you, placing a warm hand on your sodden cheek, ‘you’re okay.. it’s okay, you didn’t do anything,’ steve’s gut twisted, he hadn’t meant for you to hear any of it and the thought of you feeling guilty for eddie’s sake pricked at his heart.

you nod, not completely believing his words but for the sake of not causing a problem so early in the morning, deciding to just accept it. no matter how much it had been parroted to you, there was no accepting that none of this was your fault.

‘it’s just the way your brain is wired,’ dr. foster had said during one of your sessions, ‘but i’m here to make it all better,’ his eyes were narrowed, carefully watching you from his leather chair.

the memory alone makes you shudder, he’d been all for this authentic, organic approach.. hosting the sessions in his home and perhaps at times, becoming a little too familiar. his hand patting your knee as you spoke, asking creepy questions about your relationship with steve and overstepping a shit ton of boundaries. he had these icy blue eyes that lingered on yours for too long, there was something deeply unsettling about the way they narrowed when steve was mentioned. the utter anger they held when you brought up eddie. oh no, he really didn’t like eddie.

he’d been the one to suggest that you slow down with the letters to eddie, telling you that focusing on recovery was more important. it had worked in his favour anyway, the letters becoming the least of your concerns as you navigated recovery.

nonetheless, he didn’t last long. you were still in that mellow adjustment period, getting used to the meds when steve had informed you that dr. foster was no longer going to be your therapist. something about a conflict of schedules but you weren’t sure how true that really was.

-

it had been a few weeks since you’d last seen eddie, unsure of where he was or what trouble he’d gotten himself into. maybe even a minuscule part of you was hoping that he’d got himself arrested, at least that way you’d know he was safe inside and not wrecked in a ditch somewhere.

for the most part, you’d managed to put him to the back of your mind. it was only when things got quiet did you worry about him. deep down, you knew it was for the best. you couldn’t be around him without that niggling voice in the back of your head creeping back up. there was too much history there.

and steve had been so wonderful. you’re not sure you’d ever felt love like this. so transparent and pure, so void of expectations that he could see you at your worst and still be just as content to love you.

it all makes your heart ache, were you enough for steve even when you were like this? he had bore witness to the most horrific times of your life and yet, he’d be there everyday with a smile on his face and an open heart prepared for whatever that day may bring.

he’d taken the day off of work to purely spend it with you. granted, you’d only wanted to sit on the couch and watch a bunch of terrible movies with him but it was good enough. you’re not sure how long you’ve now been on this couch, but you knew it was late as the street lights glimmer that harsh orange through the blinds.

this film has you falling asleep, steve’s pick, obviously. you’d slid down the couch to rest your head on his lap, eyelids weighing heavy as sleep threatens to take over.

until you’re both startled by the incessant banging on the door, fist pummelling into the already brittle wood. your head snaps upward towards steve, pouting at the rude awakening. who on earth could find the need to pound the door at this time?

‘you expectin’ anyone?’ steve asks curiously, sliding your head from his thigh, very cautiously getting off of the couch to answer the door.

‘no? robin, maybe?’ unless robin had turned into a rabid zombie, you were sure it probably wasn’t her on the other side.

steve peers through the peep hole, seemingly taken aback but what or whoever he sees on the other side, ‘shit..’ cursing under his breath as he slides the chain from the door, opening it just slightly.

‘what?’ petrified by his reaction, sitting up on the couch to prepare for the impending insanity on the other side.

‘jesus man.. what are you doing here?’ he’s pushed aside as what looks like one eddie munson barges through the door, gasping for air and looking worse for wear.

he’s clutching his knees, doubled over as he tries to catch his breath, ‘i fucking.. ran the whole way here..’

if you’re being honest, he looks terrible. hair limp as it hangs around his face, clothes dirtied and you can’t see his face properly but you’re sure there’s a shiner of a bruise on his cheek.

‘what are you doing? what’s wrong?’ you fret, swinging your legs over the side of the couch as steve closes the door, bolting it up again in hopes that whatever eddie was running from was not following him.

he exhales before standing up straight, wiping the sweat from his forehead, ‘i need your help.. both of you,’ looking to steve who was stood with his hand on his hip, concerned about the inevitable mess eddie had just welcomed back into your lives.

‘why? where have you been?’

the last you’d heard from him, nancy had, very reluctantly, agreed to let him stay in their couch for a few days until he got himself sorted. but they’d woken up the next morning to find that he was no longer on said couch, not a trace of him left behind. he was completely unreachable, no phone, no idea where he had escaped off to and absolutely no one had seen or heard from him.

initially it had been a frenzy to try and find him until you collectively realised that he didn’t want to be found this time. and you had to mourn him all over again.

‘steve, d’you still know how to make fakes?’ completely ignoring your question, blinking at a puzzled steve.

your eyes flit to steve, unaware that he apparently had a history in counterfeit goods. perhaps a crucial bit of information he’d glossed over there.

‘not anymore.. what the fuck do you need that for?’

‘you know anyone that does? i’m desperate man.. i- i’ll pay,’ eddie pants, ‘name your price,’ chest heaving as he stands in the middle of your living room. he felt out of place here now, stuck out like a sore thumb.

steve ponders for a second, ‘uhh.. i dunno, maybe.. what’ve you done?’ sighing softly.

‘i need to leave the country.. i fucked up.. big time,’ eyes flitting to you with a certain sadness. even now, he didn’t want to disappoint you yet it seemed to be all he could do.

‘what’ve you done?’ you press, chewing on the inside of your cheek. mind running to the worst possibly conclusion. murder wasn’t out of the equation if you were honest.

eddie runs a dirtied, ringed hand over his face, ‘you know how i’m kinda s’posed to be in jail right now?’ it was already glaringly obvious that he hadn’t been released early.

‘yeah..’

‘well, i uh- i paid some guys off, they said they could get me out.. get me away from here,’ only now is he realising how fucking stupid that sounded.

‘eddie.. what?’ you exclaim, astonished by the sheer stupidity he constantly displayed. you’d thought that maybe he’d have learnt something from jail, that was the point of it, wasn’t it? learn from your mistakes and better yourself.

‘look, it doesn’t matter.. they’re asking for more money and i don’t have it,’ he says exasperated, ‘i need to disappear.. just for a little while, til they forget about it,’ eyes steady on you, as if to seek your approval.

you blink, where was he even planning to go? were you just never going to see him again?

‘i can’t get you outta the country but.. i might have a friend that can help,’ steve’s voice pipes up, tearing your eyes from eddie to look at him.

‘how?’ you exclaim, wondering what other things he had kept secret from you.

‘my friend’s out in california.. i think he’d put you up there,’ nodding at eddie, he probably didn’t deserve this kindness but steve couldn’t just leave him stranded. there was too much history to ever turn his back on his friend, even now, after everything, he was still holding his hand out for eddie.

‘that’d be.. fuck, that’d be.. good,’ eddie nods along, appreciative of anything you could do for him. turning to meet your gaze once more.

he knows this is it.

there wasn’t any coming back from this. no next time. it was california or it was death. and he sure as shit wasn’t a fan of the second option.

you think, deep down, that you know it too.

the likelihood of seeing him again is next to nothing. if he didn’t get himself killed, he’d certainly never be coming back here. this wasn’t for him, never had been really. well, maybe once upon a time when you looked at him without that sadness in your eye it had been.

when he thought back to it, he was sure the he knew you’d never loved him, he’d just been pretending for so long that his mind had played tricks on him, made him believe it. that’s why he’d lashed out that night, he’d convinced himself that you were in love with him. but you weren’t, and his heart had realised that fact quicker than his head had.

steve disappears into your bedroom in search of his phone, leaving you two alone in the living room. everything you want to say stays unsaid. heavy as it lingers between you. there’s not really much you can say in this moment that wouldn’t make things worse.

instead, you just nod.

as if to say that he could go. he could let you go.

eddie understands. but he’s not sure he ever will.

[simpsforwomen]

May I request a (Wednesday Addams x fem reader) where reader is from the south and hides her accent, but then one day she gets mad at someone (maybe Tyler or Xavier for hitting on Wednesday), and then let’s loose the thick southern accent and everyone is just like- “who’s this and what happened to reader?!”

Thank you for reading my request and have an amazing day! :]

✧ reply: HELLO ANON! Yes. Just yes. I think this is really funny so I've decided to make it so that both Tyler and Xavier are fighting over Wednesday. I'm not Southern by any means though, so I hope my research helped make this more accurate. I'm sorry this is short. Thank you and enjoy!

❦ 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗧𝗵𝗲...?

✧ warnings: n/a

✧ pairing(s): Wednesday Addams x gn!reader

✧ summary: (request)

✧ word count: 412

✧ a/n: i realize that this one-shot is pretty ass and that i made you guys wait a long time. i've been very busy lately and i know i always say that but it's true, i swear ;-; i'm currently working on my six other drafts as well so i'm going to try and pump at least one of those out by the end of this week. (it's show week for the production i'm in so it's going to be a challenge but i'm trying my best)

☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎☠︎︎

You had just finished eating when you heard a very familiar argument coming from the two boys sitting across from you and your girlfriend.

"I ain't gonna sit here and watch the two of y'all fight over Wednesday!" You said, loud enough for everyone around you to hear.

It was during lunchtime in Jericho, and to be honest, you didn't care about what others thought anymore. You were so tired of them bickering that you just had to say something about it. Besides, you had given them countless signs as to how a certain brunette was clearly taken but it seems as though your words went in one ear and out the other. Just like how it's always been with them.

The customers all turned and frowned at you. Most of them were people from school who'd also come out to dine. Some with an expression of curiosity and some shocked by your sudden accent outburst.

Tyler on the other hand frowned in confusion. "What just happened to your voice...?"

"And since when did you start caring about our weekly Wednesday talk?" Xavier added.

"Since the both of y'all invited me to hang!" You rolled your eyes. "Besides, Wednesday's very much off limits. She's mine. And for your information, I've had this accent for as long as I can remember."

Xavier gasped dramatically. "Clearly she's more into me. Like, come on."

You hadn't told your friends about the two of you being together yet so they obviously didn't believe you.

Even Wednesday was surprised and you couldn't blame her. You never told anyone about how you hid your accent all this time.

"Y/N, why haven't you told me about this?" The brunette asked you curiously. "Is it because you were insecure?"

"No." You responded. "I just didn't wanna stand out. Besides, I didn't wanna tell ya in case that would change your mind 'bout datin' me." You bit your lip and looked down shyly.

Wednesday didn't want to admit it but she secretly found your accent cute. She took your left hand and lowered her head, placing a gentle kiss on your knuckles.

Softening her gaze, she looked back up at you. "I love you just the way you are, cara mia. Don't ever forget that."

And of course as soon she said that, both Tyler and Xavier turned to you in shock.

"Told y'all." Was all you said before shrugging and walking out with Wednesday, hand-in-hand.

[electrospherevaults]

'ello everyone, today's a special day!

Back one year ago, and merely two weeks after I was done with the mandatory army conscription, I kept thinking about Defiler. This thinking led to some ideas on how to expand the world, especially coming off the heels of whatever the fuck being in the greek army was, and with friends explaining how much they loved the world and especially the faction of the Maidens of Wrethella, a warrior army in service of the King, I soon had a concept I wanted to explore.

Thusly, on August 26, 2023, at exactly four minutes past midnight, Maiden, the sequel novel to Defiler, was born.

HAPPY MAIDENVERSARY

Fair Lady Analussa of the Maidens of Wrethella, protagonist of MAIDEN Artwork courtesy @meer-draws

It's been a wild time since then, exactly one year ago now! Lots of things changed, lots of things improved; I know my characters better than ever before and the world they inhibit. Analussa grew from a simple character meant to inform the reader about Lionelli and her goals into her own fully realized character; her squad grew to include six more wonderful and superb lady maidens that are as badass as they are sweet. And at a current 97.5k words and 258 pages, I am inching closer to achieving the goal of finishing the sequel! It is still quite a long way to go - there are 41 planned chapters for it after all, and it would not be a Defiler sequel had it not posses some ambition of its own in what it is trying to do - but writing the story of Analussa and her squad as they survive the war-torn world of Tessereich has been a cathartic and healing experience for me; one that I hope I will get to share with you all soon enough)

Alongside the sequel, I have been continuously building the world of Defiler; its past, its present, its future, and how the cast of characters fit in the whole thing. Several of the short stories I have been writing earlier this year take place in the Tomorrow Galaxy where Defiler and Maiden takes place. Each one has been instrumental in figuring the world out, how it ticks, how it works, what it has to say. Most of all, this whole endeavour has helped me figure out Mallik the most, the protagonist of the first novel. She is especially dear to me - I wouldn't have so many artworks of her commissioned had she not been so instrumental in my growth as a writer and as a person - and it would be a severe understatement to say that her perseverance aided me to keep my chin up and continue unabated by difficulties and plights life threw my way. One day, I hope I can tell her story properly.

So what is next for the denizens of Tomorrow? Well, for now, my goal is to finish Maiden. Next goal is the to fix the draft of Defiler; that one will remain private unfortunately as I seek to get it published. I hope it will be fun to come back here and contrast the finished product with the first public draft made during its NaNoWriMo challenge phase. I also want to see if I can depict Defiler and the rest of the stories taking place in the Tomorrow galaxy in other mediums, such as animation and videogames - but that's a plan for later in the year, depending on how things pan out.

In any case, I want to thank y'all for reading, and I especially want to thank my friends, (like Babka, Beth, Gree, September, Sapphire, Chloe, Balkon, Aenore, Steph and Mirnos), for being instrumental in guiding me and believing in me throughout the way; from finishing Defiler, to reading it and critiquing it, and now traversing alongside me this wild new wider galaxy!

Thank you all kindly, and I promise you more news about Maiden in the coming months :D

In the meantime, you can read the first draft of the first novel, available for free, on here. (Analussa does appear in it, and her role, whilst small, is still quite important!)

[mixtape127]

worlds colliding ☆ pt.1

genre : non!idol mark lee x male reader, college au, ennemies to lovers ?

summary : what if you - kinda - had to save the world and Mark was your sidekick ? or — you need to give out fliers for a class, and Mark doesn't care about "global warming."

warnings : strong language, mark is kind of a douchebag but i swear he's sweet, not proofread yet

words : 1.6k

notes : i love this story sm, it's been in my drafts for so long and it was supposed to be about p1harmony, but i like it with mark too ! might make it in more than just 2 parts if you guys enjoy it as much as i do ! and btw, english isn't my native language, so i really do hope i actually wrote well and if i made dumb mistakes, i'm sorry :((

currently listening to :

"thank you, please look forward to it !" y/n says, bowing multiple times, a smile enlightening his face, watching the group of students walk away with fliers in his hands. "i hope to see you there tomorrow !"

it must have been around 9:40 a.m., a chilly morning for a spring day. the sun was shining, the clouds were absent. the green leaves were showing, some still falling on the grass of the campus park. the students in short sleeves were out again, and the jocks were taking advantage of the cooler weather to work out outside. y/n looked up, his eyes squinting in the bright sunlight. he felt cold, his bones shaking. his poor denim jacket did not cover his bare arms, and his jeans with holes in them did not provide any warmth either. he smiled to himself, seeing some birds migrating elsewhere, formed into a triangle.

he blinked a few times, returning to his emotionless face, before continuing to approach some of the students in groups to give them the rest of his fliers. but none of them seemed interested, and y/n began to lose hope. his business professor had made it clear that if he couldn't get at least 20 students to donate, his semester was over. this was his last chance, and he wasn't about to let it go. his displeasure gradually began to show, the creases in his face deepening. the more people walked around him, the more his hands tightened around his fliers. it's one thing for them not to be interested, but for them to ignore him like this is another.

for a moment there was a flutter, no one was coming out or going in. he took the opportunity to catch his breath, closing his eyes.

"one... two... three..." he whispered to himself, focusing on the soft whistle of the wind.

when he opened them again, he saw a figure facing him approaching the doors of the art building behind him. y/n thought to himself that this was fate, that this boy was almost arriving with a glittering halo of light behind him, signifying y/n's last chance. he took this opportunity and approached the guy, feeling confident.

"hey, how's it going? i'm handing out fliers about globa-..."

a brief gust of wind caressed the skin of his face. again, no response. the boy stalked his way, his headphones screwed to his ears, only giving y/n a small glance. he stood there, watching the boy's back as he walked away. he finally admitted to himself that this time, his pride had been shattered into a thousand pieces, and someone had come to trample it right after. he noted in a corner of his head that he didn't like the idea at all. but it was without realizing it that his legs responded alone, quickly approaching the young black-haired student. he patted him on the shoulder vigorously and handed him the previously crumpled paper in his hands when the latter turned around.

Mark, on his side, put on a bewildered face, one eyebrow raised. he was sure that he had deliberately ignored this boy just a few seconds ago. his day was not starting very well. his dog had chewed on his last pair of freshly bought shoes, his roommate — Donghyuck — had finished his favourite cereal and the hot water had been turned off on his floor. then finally his bus... never came, so he set out to walk to the university, realizing halfway there that his wireless headphones were out of battery. he'd wasted about ten minutes buying wired ones just to survive the rest of the day. and it was also at that very moment, coming out of the convenience store, that he promised himself he'd keep a spare pair of headphones in the bottom of his bag, just in case.

he took out one of his headphones, and uttered an extremely nonchalant "what? i'm late." he didn't mean to sound mean or disapproving, but the day was already taking its toll on him. he almost wondered what kind of people were picking on him so much, and for what reason? had he been too mean to the salesman last night, when he asked him to get out of the store because Mark was singing EXO's music at the top of his lungs? was he too dismissive of his singing teacher when she told him to stop doing 'too much'? and then, what do you mean 'too much'? Mark really didn't like that word, even less when it described his singing.

y/n, on the other hand, waved the paper in front of his nose. he was frustrated with his morning, especially with the way people responded to him. and especially the way Mark said 'what'. he wondered why people were in such a bad mood in the morning. he let out a breath to regain his composure before starting.

"before you cut me off, i think taking this won't hurt you. i'm really passionate about this cause, so i will give you this flier. and if i have to shove it down your throat, i'll do it." he pressed the piece of paper against the boy's chest in front of him. "thank you, and have a great day."

y/n bowed before rotating drastically, turning his back on Mark. he put his hand on his heart, which was now pounding in his chest. not because the black-haired boy was a living god, but because he felt he was getting carried away and tangled up in his words. how people see him matters a lot to him, even if he doesn't talk about it much. and he knew that this interaction was going to play over and over in his head tonight and keep him awake.

"what a fucking weirdo..." Mark muttered once y/n was far enough away.

he clutched the flier in his hands before resuming his journey to his class, which was really about to start. what do you mean 'i'll shove it down your throat'? he shook his head from left to right, pushed open the door and quickly dashed down the left corridor, hitting someone in the shoulder on his way.

Mark hardly turned around, just to give a weak look to the brown man who was bending while getting lost in excuses, and he took a quick walk to room 208. once in front of it, he opened the door and quickly sneaked to his place, at the back left of the room, managing to pass out of the radar of his teacher, who hadn't even noticed his absence until then.

once seated, he took out some of his things, not forgetting his bottle of fresh orange juice, something he bought every Tuesday morning to give himself luck during that long day. Tuesdays were never really his days, always bad and gloomy. he wasn't superstitious, but if Tuesdays could disappear completely, his world would be much better.

as he took his notebook out of his backpack, the flier given to him by y/n slid silently to the ground. Mark bent down to pick it up, not failing to roll his eyes as he placed it back on the table. but his eyes were drawn to a large headline.

"THE WORLD IS SLOWLY ENDING, BUT YOU'RE THE HERO, RIGHT?"

he chuckled silently, before turning the paper over to see the back, finding that there was nothing written on it, and crumpled it up in his hand before tossing it into his backpack. saving the world was not in his plans. not today. 

maybe tomorrow... who knows? and he did. he saved y/n's world, in some sort of way the day right after.

"it will serve you better than me."

y/n blinked a few times, frowning in front of his phone, which was playing a summer song, although outside, it was raining damn heavily. he wondered if the voice came from someone talking to a friend behind him, or from his headphones. but the whistle sound in his right ear brought him back to reality. he let out a faint "i'm not a fucking dog-" before looking at the umbrella someone was holding upon his head, then at a guy with brown hair. it takes some time for y/n to connect the dots — maybe because of some sort of poor eyesight — but when he does, his mouth opens up wide.

"you're the guy from yesterday that said "what" so nonchalantly it made my day way worse than it was already !"

Mark rolled his eyes. "i'm trying to save the world, being a hero, i'm landing you my umbrella." with a devilish grin, he removes the umbrella from above y/n's head. "but if you want, i can leave too."

"i'm surprised you read that flier you hated so much." he mutters.

y/n did not know if he should accept, but after all, it won't kill him and it will keep him from getting sick. even though he loved hanging out in bed instead of going to class, getting sick was one of the things he hated the most.

"thanks a lot... um... what's your name?"

"Mark."

he took the umbrella and put it over his head while nodding, repeating Mark's name quietly like he was getting used to it. their eyes met again before Mark got swept away by Donghyuck's reminder that the bus was there and it wouldn't wait for them. he let himself be swept away, and a minute later, y/n's silhouette evaporated in the distance, through the mist on the bus windows.

Mark was lost in thought. and he noticed that his name sounded pretty coming out of y/n's mouth.

[torchship-rpg]

Dev Diary 13 - New Subsystems

Alright, it’s been a while since our last Dev Diary, because we’re been doing a lot of rewriting (and because medical stuff delayed my ability to write a lot for a while). We’re currently working on writing up a new playable draft of the game incorporating lessons learned from the hasty Metatopia rewrite, building new systems to achieve what the first draft did in a smaller and better footprint.

With that in mind, I thought I’d talk about two new subsystems added to the game to make running things smoother in response to playtests, which helps mechanise some of the more abstract issues and sticking points in test games; sensor rules and factions.

Sensors & Scale

In my experience, an issue that arises in almost any Star Trek inspired roleplaying game is that most players are naturally much more cautious than the protagonists of your average television show, and correspondingly are more likely to sit snug in their spaceship for longer and roll lots of scanning rolls when the exciting story thing would be to go and take a look directly (and thus get in interesting trouble). This was a problem that occurred in some of the old playtest Torchship quests, in the metatopia games, and even in some of my brushes with Star Trek Adventures and other similar RPGs long ago.

To get around this, we’ve written up a system for sensors in Torchship which makes it very explicit what they can and can’t discover called Scale. Every sensor has one or more Scales it operates at, in a scale from 1 (microscopic) to 8 (interstellar telescope). This gives both a range you can see things from, and what information you can discover from that distance.

Under this system, a scanner which can gather information from farther away will, inherently, gather less specific information than one which scans closer. A Scale 4 scanner which works on ranges of tens and hundreds of kilometres is also one which lacks the resolution to easily recognize individual people or tools, so if you wanted to find a specific person you’re going to struggle doing it with that Scale of scanner. Fortunately, your hand scanner is a Scale 2-3 device which is perfect for that sort of work, thought limited in range to metres and kilometres so you’ll need to actually get off your butt and into the adventure.

These are soft limits, not hard stops; you can take penalties to scan beyond your normal range or for finer detail than you can normally identify, and higher-tech scanners are better for this because they roll more dice to absorb those penalties, but these limitations mean that gathering the information you need to fill out Checklists and complete objectives will often require you to go down and point a hand scanner at it, or even gather samples to take back to the microscope lab on the rocket.

Of particular note is the ‘orbital gap’, a deliberate hole in the system between Scale 4 and Scale 5. When you’re in low orbit trying to scan the surface of a world, you will almost always be doing with at least one Range penalty, and probably more because high-tech Scale 4 sensors are uncommon on most large spacecraft. This very purposefully makes it inconvenient to just wait upstairs until you roll good enough to see what you want to see; at the very least you will want to take out your shuttle to get close enough to use it without penalty.

You get to choose which scales your spacecraft’s sensors have when you do character creation, which has lots of interesting implications as you try to fit it into the limited options. Do you leave a gap in your sensor coverage in the midband for wider coverage? Do you mount smaller sensors you have to get very close to use? Do you sacrifice some of your short-range detail for long range resolution?

This also makes it easy for us to build sensors into other tools, sensors you can repurpose. Your point defence turrets might have lower-tech specialised radar emplacements at Scale 4 for picking up and tracking incoming missiles, for example, and when you encounter something invisible to your tachyon sensors it makes perfect sense to repurpose it!

A Star Patrol vehicle with a massive tachyon sensor pickup ideal for scanning other star systems across interstellar space, but which is probably going to have a bit of difficulty focusing on something tiny right in front of it.

Factions

The other portion of new mechanics has to do with the diplomatic and political side of the game. As we sat down with the new draft, we made a bunch of notes as we looked over what, exactly, this game needed from first principles before re-adding things, and we came back around to the conclusion that the game should explicitly and distinctly focus on three spheres of Exploration, Politics, and Combat, each of which should have dedicated subsystems which could carry an entire campaign on their own. 

We had a strong scientific element in the Checklists and we have interesting combat mechanics, but Politics was lacking in that; while we had ways for players to interact with groups, we didn’t have much mechanical distinction for what those groups were or how they related to one another. This is where the new Factions mechanic comes in.

When you visit a society in conflict, you will find multiple Factions there. Each Faction is a simple mechanical framework for a movement or ideology inside the society that wants something, with a defined membership and a reason they want to have power over their society. Key to this is the Faction’s Influence, a single arbitrary number that tells you how much power the Faction has over their society.

The faction with the greatest Influence is the Ruling Faction, and they matter because the Ruling Faction is the only one whose promises to Star Patrol get kept at the end of the Episode. You can negotiate trade deals for a planet’s titanium reserves with the labour unions all you want; if the Labour faction isn’t in charge by the end of the episode, you don’t get anything from it. 

This is coupled with the fact that every Faction has a simple binary opinion of Star Patrol; either they like and trust you or they don’t. Factions are like pilots in that way, though unlike pilots they do have object permanence in the sense that they remember Promises. Promises are mechanically binding agreements to give things to one another, though they only get upheld if the Faction likes you at the end of the Episode (and, again, if they are the Ruling Faction).

If you want to negotiate with a Faction, you have to exchange Promises; Factions don’t do anything for free no matter how well you roll, though you can still negotiate with communication rolls to get better deals. Promises can be immediate aid, like getting supplies for your rocket or their support in a mission, but they can also be resources over long terms at the end of the Episode, in the form of Credits from you and valuable resources, political alliances, or military aid from them.

What makes things interesting is that a Ruling Faction which does not have the majority of the Influence in play with all the Activate Factions is unstable. When things are unstable, Factions have a tendency to make lots of big promises to Star Patrol in exchange for help, often blindly agreeing to trade away things they really need because having the local superpower arbitrate their conflict and hopefully decide in their favour (or even just put the issue to rest, honestly) is worth more to them now than material riches or obligations that are currently meaningless to them. 

An unstable society is a big opportunity for the Star Union, but one you have to navigate with care.