#i cried when i heard 2022 live

[cosmicwolfboy]

T R Y L. S. D T O D A Y ! !! ! !

inspired by the silly lsd shirt they sold as tour merch

[tiramisuwithmascarpone]

Hello! I'm a 15-year-old devotee of both Lord Hermes and Lady Aphrodite who is raised in an extremely Orthodox Christian household, and I would like to share my story with you ⋆˚ʚɞ

Hi! for safety reasons I will not use the name I usually use online for this account, but you can call me Jellyfish. I live in Eastern Europe, more exactly Romania, a country whose population is 98% devoted to Christianity at the time of speaking. My mother is a perfect example. She wholeheartedly believes in God, I grew up with pictures of him and the Holy Mary all over the walls, which I wouldn't escape even at my grandparent's houses. My house always smelled of myrrh, I would carry a picture of God everywhere I went, I would pray to him before bed, go to church on every holiday, but I never felt fulfilled or connected to him in any way. I didn't truly know what I believed in. My mother was telling me all about how should I praise God, but I don't think I ever did it because I wanted to or felt connected to what she was telling me or felt like it was the life I wanted to live. When she would fight with my father, even now, she would threaten that she would run away to a monastery and become a nun. She thinks you cannot change your religion and you can not be Christian if you were born with Christian parents and raised in that environment. I did not have faith in God because I wanted to and felt connected to his message and wanted to worship his divine being, I did it because my mother felt that way. And that destroyed me.

As I grew older, I started believing less and less in God. I was struggling with going through teenagehood, fighting my own inner battles, and dealing with friendship that slowly felt like they were taking away my lifespan, and it wasn't just that I didn't have faith in a divine being (which is completely alright. Please do not believe this monologue is Anti-Christian, I believe everyone is allowed to believe and worship the one who they feel most connected and inclined towards.) I didn't have faith in anything anymore. When my brother reached 15, he hated my parents for their beliefs. I will not get much I detail since his story is not mine to tell, but he had battled with alcohol and substance abuse. And I was his only shoulder for him and my parents to lean and cry on. My mother told me to pray for our family, she would pray to god every day, light up myrrh, take me to churches, and I would feel miserable. I felt like an imposter in that church. I truly wanted to have faith in a god, anyone, but I felt like my only choice was God since that's what my mother taught me. Both my parents trust God so I cannot be different, can I?

How foolish I was. I can only look back to my past self and wish to embrace and hold her till she cries all her sorrow out. She was so confused.

Back in 2022, I had first heard of Aphrodite. My brother was sent to a mental hospital for his substance abuse when they caught him on the verge of overdosing. I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder after a suicide attempt, autism and ADHD, but my father (who already couldn't accept the fact that my brother has ADHD) fought with them saying they ,,don't know me well enough" and,,there's nothing wrong with me". And he's right, there's nothing wrong with me. Not even If I am neurodivergent. I was at my lowest, I felt disgusting, I fought with my parents and was their therapist every single day, I stopped going to school, I was a mess. But, I was heavily active on social media because I had tons of online friends. While scrolling on tiktok, I found a video of an Aphrodite devotee. My interest was piqued. I heard about Greek Mythology before but never actually researched it. I liked the video and commented, talking about how gorgeous their faith sounds, and that's when it all started. I started getting more info about Aphrodite, the swans swum by me every time I would go to the lake with my family so we could ,,get some fresh air". I started getting lots of pins on Pinterest with her. I always had a desire for water and the beach was my safe place, where I felt fulfilled and free from all I'm feeling. I had a Dove make itself a nest on a tree next to the window of my classroom which I would always sit by while having lunch (on the rare occasions I would drop by to school). I started researching more about Lady Aphrodite, loving her story, beliefs, ways of worshipping, how it felt like silence was washing over me when I would make a non-physical offering to her. Her tales. The way it felt like she was always there to give me a warm hug and squeeze me while I was crying. I also felt a boost in my confidence! I started loving my features, taking care of myself again, etc. It wasn't always just sun and rainbows, I would still have breakdowns and wish it would all just end and all that, but it was more bearable with her. She made my life more bearable. I love, worship, and adore Lady Aphrodite for that. I worshipped her till this year when I officially felt strong enough to devote myself to her.

This year, actually, I started noticing my strong connection to Hermes. I was always attracted to the kind-hearted, mischievous, kind-hearted, highly intelligent and funny thieves. I always idolized them and wished to be like them. That's how I feel about Lord Hermes. I feel like he was reaching out to me all my life. Everything he is associated with I had an inexplicable obsession with for pretty much all my life. Turtles, golden or silver, travel, learning new languages, astronomy, astrology, everything you could think of. I have been devoted to him since last month, that's when I officially started labeling myself as a Hellenic Pagan, but I am still a beginner, and I need to hide all of this from my mother since I am afraid of what she would do if she were to find out I have another belief since she reacted super badly back when I was an atheist :( I set up the first altar for Lady Aphrodite, and the second one for Lord Hermes. I always had been an artistic soul and loved making my room all pretty randomly so I told my mother this is one of those cases and she believed it. She does not know english and is not at all cultured about any beliefs besides Christians, Muslims, and Jews. They are both hidden in my closet. I feel very bad for not being able to make them a bigger and more obvious altar, I hope I'll have that chance when I move out from my parent's house..

I wanted to ask if Lord Hermes would be mad if my mom kept setting random things on his altar? she even put a picture of the Holy Mary. I moved it to the other side of the closet and made a DIY necklace for him out of orange garnet or beads to apologize to him, and he didn't seem mad, but I'm not sure...I sketched drawings of both of them and rested them on their altars. Everything you see are either offerings I heard they may like or things that reminded me of them! the little notebook on Hermes's altar is specifically made for learning new languages and thought he would enjoy it. Do you guys think any of my offerings are disrespectful? or should be removed? I'm open to any advice! Thank you for listening to my story <3

[prolife-is-prolie]

I celebrated Roe V Wade being overturned. I am now being investigated for having a miscarriage.

"The happiest moment in my life was when I said "I do" to my husband seven years ago. My second happiest moment was at the Supreme Court building on June 24, 2022. Seeing an endless sea of happy, cheerful faces, the champagne bottles being popped open, watching as bubbles floated on by, the feeling was electric! Babies were going to be saved!

And then a year later, on June 24, 2023, the third happiest moment in my life occurred. The two faint lines revealed themselves on the pregnancy test. I was pregnant! Finally! After years of hoping, praying, and multiple IVF treatments, I was finally pregnant! Life was perfect. My husband took me out to dinner and he never left my side the whole night. He came home from work one day with a giant book of baby names. It didn't take us long to decide: Ophelia if it was a girl, and Benson if it was a boy.

I thanked the Lord for gifting me with a happy marriage and a baby that I prayed so much for. But the Lord had other plans. August 23, 2023, my world came crashing down. I woke from a deep sleep and was overcome with painful cramps. I looked under the blanket and was horrified by what I saw: A huge puddle of red. I ran to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and I cried. I was having a miscarriage.

My husband woke up and noticed the puddle of blood. I've never seen him look so scared in my life. He hugged me while I sat and bled on the toilet. We then stripped down and got in the shower, where he held me, not caring about the blood running down my legs. I scheduled an emergency doctor's appointment for later in the day. The doctor confirmed our worst fear, I had a complete miscarriage. There wasn't anything more that could be done.

I sat on the table in that cold room while I waited for the doctor to come back with my paperwork. I was completely numb. I had no more tears left to cry. My husband stood by me and held my hand while we waited. And then we heard the knock on the door. We were expecting the doctor to enter. Instead, we were met with a couple of police officers.

My husband and I were escorted to the police station. It was there that we were informed that my miscarriage was deemed suspicious. The officers told us that due to the fact that we lived in a pro-life state, this was the new protocol. My husband and I were each taken to separate interview rooms, where we were questioned for six hours. I was asked a variety of questions:

What did I do the night before miscarrying?

Did I have a fall that could have caused the miscarriage?

Did I intentionally cause trauma to my abdomen to induce a miscarriage?

Did I take abortion pills?

Could my husband have slipped abortion pills into my drink?

At first, I tried to be understanding, but that quickly turned to anger. They were accusing my husband and me of purposefully killing our baby. I told the interviewer over and over that we wanted our baby and that we would do nothing to cause harm to our baby. After six hours, the questions let up. The interviewer left the room and I instantly broke down in tears again.

I cried for the baby I lost. I cried because my husband and I were being accused of killing our baby. I cried because I felt like nobody was listening to me. And I cried because this is what pro-choicers said would happen when Roe was overturned. Everything that they said would happen was happening.

Miscarriages were being investigated as murders. Children were being forced to give birth to their rapists' babies. Babies were being born and discarded in trash cans and dumpsters. And we have not done a damn thing about any of this. My husband and I were released, but not before being told that we weren't allowed to leave town due to the fact that we were being investigated.

I read articles about the women in Texas suing the state because of the anti-abortion laws. I read about the 13-year-old girl who gave birth to a baby she did not want. I read about the 11-year-old who had to flee her home state to get an abortion, only for the doctor who performed the abortion to get fined. I felt sick to my stomach reading these stories. And once again, my sorrow was replaced with anger.

I thought back to what I thought was one of the happiest moments of my life, Roe V Wade being overturned. In my mind, the happy smiles that I saw were suddenly replaced with evil snarls. The champagne that was popped was replaced with acid. The bubbles became heavy glass and they fell to the ground. My god, what have we done?

I forwarded the articles to my husband and I saw all color leave his face. The night after our interrogations, we ate dinner in silence. After knowing this man for 17 years and being married to him for seven of those years, he didn't need to talk for me to know what he was thinking. And I agreed with him:

Overturning Roe V Wade was a huge mistake."

-Constance, 37.

[laurents-laces]

It took me 84 years, but here's the notes for Pacat's Instagram live on January 22, 2022! You can find previous summaries here. This time I added a section for things that involve both capri and dark rise because there was a lot of that.

“It’s funny, I tend to write, as I think back on Dark Rise and then before that, Captive Prince, I tend to write these book ones that kind of don't necessarily reveal themselves until the end or cohere until the end or maybe are written for the re-read rather than necessarily for the first read… I kind of have this philosophy that difficult pleasures are the most enjoyable because you have to work to achieve them, and so you know, I like the idea that you get rewarded at the end of Dark Rise for reaching the end.”

Important Updates

There has been some progress on the capri News™, though it was epically delayed by the pandemic. It’s not a fourth book, hardcovers, Laurent’s POV, or a TV series

There were updates about Dark Rise and Fence too but none of it is news anymore because this happened so long ago. The capri fandom is just unlucky like that

Pacat has a new project! It’s very different and is more adult in tone than his previous works. It’s kind of monster-horror-gore, he’s been wanting to do something with a shounen horror vibe like Berserk or Attack on Titan. It’s coming in the distant future, not soon

Captive Prince

Pacat hasn't heard of the capri fandom term Smaurent (small Laurent) but thinks that the idea of him does exist in the books as he was a very different person as a young child. Pacat likes writing characters who explore the idea that one’s past leaves fingerprints on one’s present self and Laurent is the most extreme version of this that she’s written

A fan said that they think of “Damianos V” as being a roman numeral, so that Damen would be the fifth King Damianos. Pacat really liked the idea

Pacat cried for a really long time while writing Nicaise’s death scene. Got a few strange looks as he sat in the Melbourne State Library with tears streaming down his face for a few hours. Nicaise’s death was planned from the beginning, he was always a bittersweet character to write

Laurent is such a private person. Writing more from his POV would risk exploding the mystery of his character and might kill some of the tension in capri

The capri News is like a missive from Rohan- it's on its way and it'll arrive at some point, just when you need it most

A fourth capri book isn’t completely out of the question but there isn’t one planned for now

The Brazilian capri covers are their own thing but they don’t represent the books well. They have a very dark-ages-hard-masc-medieval aesthetic

How tall is Damen? Laurent thinks that he’s a foot taller and that sometimes it feels like more

Orlant: Rough exterior, heart of gold, didn't deserve what happened to him

Pacat pronounces Vere like Veer (veer off course) but that is not the correct pronunciation that Laurent and the Veretians use so feel free to pronounce it how you want

Pacat wasn’t really involved in the art for the Japanese edition but has been a fan of Chinatsu Kurahana for a long time. Usually the author doesn’t get much input for foreign editions. The Japanese publisher was very welcoming and let Pacat have some input, but he was such a fan of the artist that he let her do whatever her vision was. He gave a bit of a description for clothing but didn’t tweak any character concepts once they were drawn because he likes having different versions of the characters in different media. We shouldn’t think of it as an official version of the characters or as Laurent’s canon hair length

Dark Rise

The submission date for the Dark Heir manuscript was June 2022. At the time of this live, Pacat was just past writing the midpoint of the first draft, heading towards the climax. The climax has been planned for a long time

We absolutely get James's POV in Dark Heir. Pacat had just finished writing one of his chapters when this live happened

How would Anharion describe Sarcean in one word? The answer would change depending on whether Anharion was wearing the collar. If he was wearing it he would say whatever Sarcean wanted him to say

James is not named after the gay king james (James I of England)

We will find out about James’s mother at some point, either in book 2 or later

Pacat’s current favourite Dark Rise character to write is a new character from book two

It was important that the stewards were racially diverse. When Pacat was pitching Dark Rise he had little pictures of the characters to show what the aesthetic of the book is, it was art that he found online. Things might have changed since then but this was three or four years ago and it was really hard to find fantasy imagery of non-white characters. If you wanted to find mages or warriors in suits of armor, all the artwork had white characters. So he wanted to include different types of people in the traditional western fantasy aesthetic

Favourite part of Dark Rise #1 is the ending because it was all of the pieces falling into place

Cyprian’s surname is not St. Clair but saying more than that would be a spoiler

Stewards have family in the outside world

Pacat would love to write short stories for Dark Rise like the ones for capri but she’s a slow writer so it would be some time in the future

Dark Rise/Capri

Justice’s appearance wasn’t specifically influenced by danmei, he has long hair because all the Stewards have long hair. The Stewards have long hair because everyone in the Old World had long hair and the Stewards carry on the sacred traditions of the past. This was inspired by the delightful long-haired-Laurent contingent in the capri fandom because they were so underserved by Captive Prince. No one in capri other than Ancel has really long, butt-length hair so Pacat wanted to change that in a new series

Where do you get inspiration for jewelry like Nicaise’s earring or James’s collar? Pacat has been thinking lately about the importance of creating a strong visual aesthetic for a character. The earring was created as a plot device. It’s long because it had to be very gaudy and noticeable because Laurent would use it as a disguise later, and it has blue sapphires because blue is Laurent’s colour. It's one single earring instead of a pair because it felt more poignant as a memento. The earring was more about purpose than aesthetics, but Pacat paid more attention to aesthetics in Dark Rise. When working on Fence, Johanna is so good at creating characters with an iconic visual look, and Pacat was thinking about that when he created James. He started with the idea of red because it's the colour of blood. The collar started off as a necklace that was a drop of blood, but it was changed to be more interesting and to have more of an impact. Pacat often thinks about the scene from the Hunger Games when Katniss is about to prove herself to the sponsors and they're not paying attention to her so she shoots the apple in the boar's mouth. A lesser author would’ve had her nail the bullseye but Suzanne Collins souped it up one more level, to come up with something slightly cooler or more imaginative. So Pacat goes through his finished drafts and thinks, is there anything I can turn up to 11? And the necklace wasn't at 11. So he thought about making it a choker, then a collar. A choker with rubies looks like a slit throat and that’s a very cool image, so that’s what it was changed to

Pacat is an only child so Tom and Auguste as older brothers aren’t based on personal experiences, but the idea of siblings has a strong importance to her. Dark Rise is dedicated to her half-sister Mandy who committed suicide when she was 15, which was the year Pacat was born

Fence Comic

The process of creating Fence: First Pacat writes the script, then it gets sent to the illustrator Johanna. It goes through a few rounds of notes where the two of them talk about the kinds of things they want to see happen, what would be cute or great in the upcoming storyline, and then Johanna does sketches. Then art edits happen, but usually the art is so incredible that it doesn’t need many edits so the only usual change is to make sure that Nicholas is left handed when he’s fencing. Then Boom (the publisher) looks over it before it goes to inks, then to the colourist Joana Lafuente, then to Jim Campbell for lettering. Jim places the speech bubbles and fits the script onto the page. Where the bubbles are placed and which words are emphasized makes a big impact on the flow of the script. Then everything gets sent back to Pacat for proofreading and editing of the lettering and then it’s done

Pacat worked very closely with Sarah Rees Brennan on the fence novels. They talked a lot about how events would play out, biographical details of the characters, made canon compliance edits, saw the books at every level and loved them. It’s impressive how Sarah can turn on a dime between two sets of opposing feelings when transitioning between emotions. Her books have a lot of wit and charm but also a lot of hard-hitting emotion

There was information about Rise and a preview but I'll skip over that part because it's already out now

Personal

When creating characters, Pacat often thinks of them in terms of dynamics they’ll have with other characters, or what they want to achieve, or what kind of archetype they resonate with, or how to build a backstory that gives them layers. Characters are interesting when they have more than one motivation, when they look one way on the surface but then different aspects of them from the past are revealed

Pacat was an Earth sciences major

Pacat chooses all the fanart friday posts himself and then his assistant Hannah sends a request to the artist

Least favourite book trope: band of misfits who save the world through a hail mary pass. Pacat likes a highly confident crew, not a small rabble of people who fluke their way into saving the world. It's not a bad trope, he doesn't know why he doesn't like it. He doesn't like Firefly because of this trope

He often reads fanfic on ao3 for more of a story than was in the original or more of a dynamic that was underserved in the original. But authors can’t read fic of their own works for copyright reasons

Owns multiple copies of the Lymond Chronicles. Book four is her favourite because the ending is so intense and devastating. Pacat often thinks of that ending when deciding what to do with her own works because most authors would’ve chickened out of writing an ending like that. She read book one for the first time in a restaurant at 9:00am and stayed there until she finished the book. She probably looked like a mess because of all the laughing and crying, and at one point one of the waiters came over to bring her a handkerchief and said “are you okay?” and Pacat said “I’m just at a really intense part right now"

Pacat does brainstorming sessions with friends to come up with ideas for books and looks at art books for inspiration

He’s reading the BL manga Twittering Birds Never Fly

Danmei dramas/web novels are really long so he isn’t familiar with most of them, but he ordered MDZS and he’s looking forward to reading it because he’s heard a lot of good things about it

Pacat doesn’t usually like love triangles, whenever he ships something in a love triangle he ends up choosing the unlucky guy. He liked Gale more than Peeta and liked Edgar more than Heathcliffe

[houpss]

REST

🧊–return to masterlist ¡! ✥

"Good day, this is JYP ENTERTAINMENT. 26.12.2021 Lily Hwang of Stray Kids is taking a rest due to worsening panic attacks and anxiety disorder, which is why her activities are suspended for a while. All of Stray kids' next events, comebacks and promotions will be released without her participation until she is fully recovered! We ask fans for understanding and all possible support, she asked you not to worry about her.JYPE will consider the artist's health a top priority and will do everything possible to support Lily's speedy recovery."

Then this statement from the Company shocked everyone and everyone was very upset by this development of events. Hundreds of thousands of letters of support were written to Lily in the bubble, they never forgot about her and encouraged her. MANIAC's comeback came out without her participation, but the students were so upset because Lily was in the teaser and in the video, but she was not in the promo or other songs.Lily appeared for the first time since her return to the bubble in May (01.05.2022), writing two messages:

[🐻]::Y/n!! hi, I feel much better. did you hear that the boys will have a world tour?:) Please visit it! I promise you'll like it (06:19 a.m)

[🐻]::I miss you and the boys, pain makes us stronger (08:32 a.m)

○○○

On the first day of the STRAY KIDS world tour in Seoul, Lily came to the concert with Mingi and Tenshi (she was the only one who was very scared), sitting in the front rows and she was shown on the big screen at the end of the concert, the boys burst into tears and were very happy to see her because they didn't know about her arrival at the concert, Lily also cried, and then she was allowed to go up on stage and they all stood there together and cried,they hugged so much:((( I can say that it was a difficult concert without Lily and the first concert after the pandemic, the boys were very upset and happy to see Stay again, but so tearful because of Lily. (this moment went viral everywhere), (date 05.05.2022)

On July 31, 2022, the video and song TIME OUT were released, with the release of which Lily left the rest, and the students were in great shock and also cried when they saw Lily in the video and heard her voice, everyone was incredibly happy about it. Then Lily wrote in the bubble:

[🐻]::Next to Y/n I am stronger, I promise to work and work and make my baby Y/n happy (11:02 p.m)

[🐻]::War is over (reference to the song) (11:07 p.m)

[🐻]::Oh...do you want for me to stay with you? (11:10 p.m)

[🐻]::During these seven months my life has become better! all thanks to Y/n's support~ (11:12 p.m)

[🐻]:: I missed you too, baby! let's continue to work harder so that we move forward together (11:15 p.m)

[🐻]:: I traveled a lot and went to a psychotherapist, so I felt better... (11:18 p.m)

[🐻]:: My close friends and boys helped me a lot (11:27 p.m)

[🐻]:: I don’t regret that the MANIAC comeback was without me! so Y/n saw the boys' talents to the fullest (11:28 p.m)

[🐻]:: Should I live onair tomorrow??

[🐻]:: I'll carry it out! and we'll have fun! (11:30 p.m)

[🐻]:: And now I'm going to bed! soft dreams, baby 🩷 (11:35 p.m)

Lily suffered all these seven months, she was terribly ill. She did not leave the room, did not eat, and did not communicate with anyone. Even SKZ couldn’t get her out of this state, not to mention Lily’s friends. Then Donghyun arrived from New York and, together with Kiri and Tenshi, began working on Lily’s condition. They organized a tour for her to different countries: Italy, France, Canada, Greece, UAE, Japan, Great Britain, and she also visited the Maldives. Lily even thought about committing suicide if it weren’t for Seungmin, who saw the prerequisites in time and sent Lily along with Chan to a psychotherapist (Lily refused to go alone). She wanted to quit K-pop completely, but her close people stopped her. What about Lily's parents? They didn’t know about it, or rather, Lily’s mother knew and quietly sent her money for treatment, but her father simply didn’t care. he abandoned his daughter back in 2017.

I can say that everyone handled Lily's rest differently, but it was hard. I think Felix and Jongin were the most depressed,Changbin hid his fears within himself , Minho became more irritable and Jisung was anxious without Lily...what about Chan and Hyunjin? They saw Lily most at this time, perhaps she only let them in and sometimes Felix, she didn’t want to see others. Seungmin observed the situation from afar and he was the one who helped her the most, but is not visible.

[ashleigh148]

TW: for passing remarks of - as Otto Mahler called it - "handing back my ticket".

Alrighty, my turn.

For as long as I can remember, I've wanted to be a musician. I know I'm not a very good one, but music has always been a part of me, no matter what.

Even when it's also been my greatest frustration.

I took classical piano lessons starting around 6 years old - something that was own a decision of my own, that my folks were willing to pay for. I sometimes wonder where that little girl's enthusiasm went as I got older.

However, by the time I was 15, I was harbouring some negativity regarding my own musical abilities. I felt that I was not talented in the slightest when comparing myself to other students. I didn't have the support I needed/wanted in order to be a musician. Learning the piano was fine, "but you can't make it a career", I was told. I had the "passion but not the discipline", I was told. "You're not working hard enough/being lazy", I was told. And here I thought, that I was trying my best.

Somewhere along the way, those outside words turned into a nasty voice in my head that almost seemed to enjoy torturing me.

When I was about 19/20, I flunked my Grade 8 twice. Boy, was it like a shot to the heart. I had still tried my best, practiced even while I cried. "Look it's fine, you can't make a living as a musician anyways, so it doesn't matter if you never finish it", I was told. That was when it started to get difficult to listen to classical music. I felt like such a disappointment for not being able to pass the damn exam. I ended up associating classical pieces to my piano-studying years, making it sting to listen to them. I focused a lot more on the other genres I had loved: hard rock and heavy metal.

I still loved music, but it was becoming a love-hate relationship to me. I still tried to perform live, I still tried to make music. However, it felt like every time I started to work on a performance or original song, that voice in my head would start up again, yelling at me that it was useless what I was trying to accomplish. It felt like everytime I tried to beat that voice, it would come back bigger and badder. That voice even started to attack my love for rock/metal music. There are other rock singers out there who spent more effort on their craft, "it's stupid to think you can reach even the foot of their level", said the voice.

I was in university when I first came across the boys' content; I remember there was a recorder involved (lol). It was the first time in a long time that I could listen to classical music and not feel like crap. They re-introduced Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto to me (I had first heard it at 16). Through their videos, I didn't feel like a disappointment. They were like two big brothers who said, "you're no disappointment, here's your classical music back". Their content made me realize that there were so many other musicians out there who felt what I felt; I was not alone.

I had a utterly horrible end of 2022; so much stuff rained down upon me. I had had dark thoughts creep into my head before, but this time, the darkness felt too heavy. I'd go to asleep, half-hoping I wouldn't wake up just so the pain would stop. Then, their 4 mil subscribers concert happened. Hearing that opening to Mendy's VC again - it threw a life raft to me. That piece made me stay and reminded me that life was still magical. Sure, those dark thoughts would pop up every now and then, but I tried my best to remember that I could always turn to the light of music.

I recently turned 28 (was surprised that I managed to avoid the 27 Club). 2024 was not a good year again. I think my last straw was when I had a shitty date with a musician who called me a disappointment due to my lack of a music education. I remember when I got home and opened up YouTube, one of their videos was at the front page, and so I ended up in a bingefest. I laughed, felt a little healed, and then I got to thinking: "Wait, what's stopping me from attempting Grade 8 again? From recording an album that I've dreamt about for years? It shouldn't even matter if I'm reaching my 30s, right?".

I ordered the necessary books, and the next thing I knew, I was being offered a new substitute teaching job - teaching music in 2025! Do I need more signs from the universe that music was truly a part of me??

Sure, just after that, The Great TwoSet Video Purge happened (lol), but my determination hasn't wavered. They still gave me the confidence I needed. Perhaps, I needed the wait this long before doing this because now was the right time.

The boys reminded me that music wasn't something you ran from, it was something you run to when things were getting black. I've learned that it's totally okay to be ordinary. As long as you had your musical passion, you should just fugue-ing go for it, and share what you got with the world.

So now, I'll work my fluffy brown ass off. I'll go practice!

Thanks a lot, lads. Whatever you move onto, you will be magical.

[blackwolfstabs]

BWS MINDTOBER 2024 ▸ Day I

Prompt: ME

──────── GIF is not mine

October 1st | "i can't help that God made me this way."

“He wants to punish me. Me.”

I’ve heard it all. That’s all everyone talked about since 2022. I’m responsible. I killed them. I framed them. I’m a monster. I’m a murderer. I’m a villain. I’m unstable. I’m dangerous. I’m Ghostface.

Psycho Girl. Murderer. Billy Loomis’s Daughter. Bitch. Samantha Carpenter.

They got one thing right. I am Samantha Carpenter. I go by Sam, because when I hear Samantha, I’m reminded of the person who tore my family apart. The person responsible for so much hurt and pain. 

I’m the reason Dad left. I’m the reason Mom drank. I’m the reason Tara cried. I’m the reason the entire town of Woodsboro stayed in darkness.

Do I regret it?

“You’re Billy’s daughter.” “Your dad and Stu killed everyone.” “I really wanted to be the one to kill you.” “Hell yeah, bitch! You should know better than anyone.” “You’re a killer, just like your father.” “I’m going to punish you, Sam.” “No, you’re going to die, Samantha! Choking on your own blood, while I hack up your sister.” “You had to fucking die! You had to be punished!” “There she is. There’s the fucking killer.”

There was a time I did. 

But regret doesn’t fix anything. 

I’ve lived a life of many ups and downs, and as much as I would do anything to change one thing that would make my life perfect, in a comparing perspective, that isn’t an option.

I am Billy Loomis’s daughter. I am not a murderer.

I am Christina Carpenter’s daughter. I am not a mistake.

I am Tara Carpenter’s older sister. I am not a predator.

Half of me comes from the Loomis bloodline, and the other half is from the Carpenter bloodline. I have my father’s eyes and my mother’s heart. I am a hybrid of two reckless, misunderstood people.

Tara told me there’s something kind of fantastic about that. So, maybe there is. I haven’t decided yet.

Punishing me for what I’ve “done” is misleading, actually. Think about it. How could anyone punish me more than my bloodline already has? A murderer for a biological father and an alcoholic for a biological mother.

I’ve been fucked from the start.

That’s me. I am Samantha Carpenter.

and so it begins...

[unending-everchanging-thoughts]

I hope this finds someone who will enjoy it. This is the first time I’m sharing my work. It’s a personal essay about a friends suicide attempt so go in eyes open. But please enjoy!! (1,164 words)

September, 1st 2022. 12:00 Pm

The wind blows lazily through the leaves. The side door of my highschool opens, I turn and there walking out the outside stairs is a ghost. Short, scrawny, and almost blending in with the backdrop. There is no real indication that he is dead—no floating feet, no translucent skin, not even a cold draft. Even without all the tell tale signs, I’m sure that this is nothing more than an elaborate illusion. But the image didn’t change, his form didn’t flicker. Everything seemingly stopped, stuttering like a scratched CD. Caught in a moment of madness, I found myself (possessed by sheer shock) running toward him in elation. I threw my arms around him, holding him closely, hoping he wouldn’t in fact slip through the cracks in the concrete. My arms made contact! The ghost was real and he was here! I must have manifested his life back into reality.

Truthfully, there was no magic needed to teether his soul back to the soil. He had never been dead. But to me he must have crawled from the ground to come here. I clutched his corpse, crouched at the side of his casket, cried over his freshly covered grave all within the tangled confines of my frantic imagination. My mind witnessed all of this, but on the outside his departure was nothing more than an ambulance ride to a nearby hospital.

At the time, turning him over to the proper authorities seemed a logical solution to him popping so many pills that his pupils disappeared. If only I had known that the moment he slid into the back of the red shiny van I would become captivated by nightmares of corpses, haunted by his ghost. No deity warned me of the inevitable months of missing him that would be brought on by my juvenile attempts at making him more than a martyr. No release form to inform me that emotional trauma would be brought on by my choices. I had no idea that I would spend years gripped by the grief. What are you supposed to do when your friend attempts suicide? When your world stops turning? When phones go silent? When voices are quieter than the screaming in your mind? Do you let your friend die alone on the bathroom floor? Crush their dreams into white powder and pour it down the drain? Do you follow the proper procedure and call the police? How do you handle the choice between saving a life or letting them die with dignity? Allowing a friend to pass on or risking the rage when they awaken?

6Am September, 1st 2022.

The sheets of my bed have become rotten after weeks of decomposing within them. Bread crumbs have built up like sand castles and water cups create wells filling my shelves. Tears have become my cheeks’ constant companions. Bags have taken up residence under my eyes. Clothes have become crumpled at the bottom of mountains. My mirror which usually lays compliments onto my skin has begun to strip off layers of my self esteem.

Mornings are no longer markers of new adventure. My school uniform sits on me like a straight jacket, my book bag leaves a rope burn on my shoulders, toast is stopped by clots of despair that fill up my throat. School which once seemed like a sanctuary now suffocates me. The English teacher asks for assignments now weeks overdue, my math teacher mumble about my general disinterest, and people seem to leer at me from the hallways of their happy lives.

I had seen the effects of untimely deaths. Posts on instagram have fluided my for you page proclaiming remorse for a life half lived. I had heard my mothers cries when her friend decided to die. Seen flowers fluiding over the side of bridges. I had heard how hard it is people when someone they love attempts suicide. However, I never felt the full, undiluted magnitude of that sentiment until I found myself perched on the edge of a desk, staring at a suicide hotline number written by a teacher, wondering if maybe 988 on a white board would have saved him. I now walk through life like a phantom drifting between memory and moment. Wandering the rooms of my school like a spirit frantically searching for something, someone, anything.

I wish to wallow in the space where I still had him, where he wasn’t gone. I see him in lockers and staircases. I constantly picture his face in the math room, where I had taken his portrait. I glimpse him in conversations, knowing what he would say or in the way that he would raise his hand. I spot him in the chemistry classroom glaring at me after a long forgotten argument, in the walls he once leaned against, in the place he first broke my heart. My highschool, my mind, my life are all haunted by the spirit of someone who didn’t die. An experience of grief without the marker of a tombstone introduced me to this limbo state, a space between grief and gratitude. All I have as a reminder are a few fragile memories. There was no indication that this day would be more than a continuation of my misery. But today, the memory decided to materialize right in front of me. He came back. but not to me.

Almost a month and a half after my best friend had been carried off the face of the earth in a whirl of red and white lights, I saw him. On the grass I hunched, shrinking myself to fit into the cohort I was seemingly a part of. Their conversations rang dull in my ears as my mind was on something more meaningful. Even once I caught sight of him descending the stairs, the sun forming a glorious halo over his head, I was unable to pull myself out of the grief that had grown within his absence. When I wrapped my arms around him, the embrace felt empty. The apparition was real but I was unable to make contact. He was there but I was not. Even as I pulled out my phone to capture the moment I was unable to place myself back in his presence. I reached for his hand, holding it gingerly, hoping that gesture would weigh me down. He smiled at me but depression trapped in a locket wrapped with a noose around my neck stopped me from smiling back. The once pupiless eyes looked at me sadly, seeing the pain that I didn’t deserve to designate with words. Upon my silence the ghost turned to the girl seated next to me. She dropped her eyes to him seeing the face of a beautiful boy, but not one brought back from the dead. To her, his homecoming was a plot point and not a whole novel. She made connections with the living while I was stuck sitting with the dead.

[b-skarsgard]

He is already iconic as the clown Pennywise in the Stephen King film adaptations "It".

Now Bill Skarsgård, 34, tackles another classic horror role, as the vampire Count Orlok in "Nosferatu".

- When my six-year-old daughter came to visit the set, she cried the first twenty minutes she saw me in make-up, says Bill.

No wonder the daughter was a little scared at first, perhaps, because in the role Bill Skarsgård , 34, really looks like a 400-year-old Transylvanian vampire. It's really only his height and eyes that you recognize him under all the make-up. And the voice sounds as if from beyond the grave.

read the full article at the link or under the cut

translated through google

When the film now premieres in Sweden, it has already been a smash hit in the United States. Has taken in $40.8 million (about SEK 450 million) since Christmas Day, which was almost twice as much as the film company had dared to hope for.

Alongside Skarsgård, Lily-Rose Depp , 25, Nicholas Hoult , 35, Aaron Taylor-Johnson , 34, Emma Corrin , 29, and Willem Dafoe , 69, are found in front of the camera. In addition, director Robert Eggers, 41, after only a few films, has something of a cult reputation among film lovers, for his passionate projects, whether they are about vampires or Vikings, such as "The Northman" from 2022, starring Alexander Skarsgård, 48 .

I meet Bill a few weeks before Christmas at a hotel on Södermalm in Stockholm. The same neighborhood where he lives with his partner Alida Morberg , 39, and daughter Oona. A few days later, he will leave for the film premieres in New York and Los Angeles, which now, with hindsight, started the great success of the film.

You would think that it was Alexander who had introduced his little brother to the director, but it turns out that was not the case at all.

- I met Robert before Alex met him. It's been almost ten years. He had made "The witch" (2015) which I loved. He represented a vision of his own as an artist, an uncompromising integrity, says Bill, and continues:

- I first read for the role that Aaron Taylor-Johnson is doing now. Then he thought I was better suited for the role of Thomas, as Nicholas Hoult does. I got it, was overjoyed, now it's happening, I thought. But then the film was postponed. Robert's status then was not such that he was allowed to do what he wanted. He needed to make a couple of other films to do "Nosferatu" justice.

- Then Robert begged and asked me to be in "The Northman". I was there two days before the recording was to start. Had hair extensions and everything. Then covid came and stopped everything. I went home and climbed the walls, but then started developing the TV series "Clark" with Jonas Åkerlund , 59.

When "The Northman" was finally gone, Bill was busy with "Clark". Gustav Lindh, 29, took over his role.

And then it was time for "Nosferatu".

- When Robert started casting actors for all the roles and I heard nothing, I wondered if he was so easily offended. I wrote him a letter and out of nowhere he came up with this, that I was to be Count Orlok. As flattering as terrifying.

Bill was well aware of the original, "Nosferatu" from 1922 by FW Murnau (1888-1931) with Max Schreck (1879-1936) in the title role.

- Father Stellan thought we should watch a lot of movies when we were children. It was the whole silent film quagmire with Chaplin and Buster Keaton and there was also "Nosferatu". I was probably nine, ten years old. And then I have had a fascination with the Dracula films and all its interpretations, from Bela Lugosi to Gary Oldman.

The recording of "Nosferatu" took place at Barrandov Studios in Prague.

- I had previously recorded "The Crow" there, so I stayed in the same hotel as then. Was there for four months and probably had 50-60 recording days, there was never a long break. And if Count Orlok is only there as a shadow image, then it is me who sits behind the camera and orchestrates the hand.

To be transformed into Count Orlok, every day took about 3.5-4 hours.

- When I saw the sketches of what he would look like, I thought that that guy doesn't even look like he's alive. But it just became even more of a war to breathe life into this, a challenge, it was spurring.

Had you asked your father how hard it is to sit in the make-up for so long? He sat for eight hours every day when he made the "Dune" films...

- He knows how hard it is and just said Welcome to the club . Although... hasn't it been the case that every time Dad talked about the make-up for "Dune" he added an hour to each interview? (laughter), Bill jokes.

There were also other preparations for the role. He had trained properly for the action film "Boy kills world" a couple of years ago.

- Robert liked that I was thin but ripped. So I had to get as thin as possible anyway. Ate only meat for a period. I probably weighed ten kilos less than I do today.

And then there was the voice. In the Netflix series "Clark", Bill normally speaks in the scenes where he acts in front of the camera, but as a narrator, when Clark Olofsson looks back on his life, he has a kind of old man's voice.

- I love voice work. In this case, Robert wanted a dark old man voice. He describes so beautifully in the script that it sounds like it comes from the deepest grave. I worked with an opera singer who taught me to find the technique to place the voice in the nose, in the throat, or down here in the stomach, as deep as possible, says Bill, touching his stomach - and suddenly sounds like Count Orlok.

Bill's female co-star in the film is Lily-Rose Depp, 25-year-old daughter of Johnny Depp, 61, and French singer/actress Vanessa Paradis, 52.

Did you guys talk about what it's like to be the daughter of such a super celebrity as Johnny Depp?

- She tells me: You know how it is. But no... being Johnny Depp's daughter is on a slightly different level than being Stellan's son. Depp is like the biggest movie star of the generation. Her mother is also very famous, at least in France.

- Then I can recognize myself in that thing with nepobaby here and there, that you give 110 percent to work against the stereotype that you are there because of someone else.

- When you see the film, there is no question that it is her talent that means she is in the film. It's a real shut up performance by her.

Next, Bill will go to the USA and make the hostage drama "Dead man's wire" with Gus Van Sant, 72. A director that father Stellan worked with back in 1997 in "Good Will Hunting".

And what about Bill's daughter, who was so frightened that she cried seeing her father as a vampire.

- Shortly after that, she sat with her headphones on and followed the recording. Then she just looked proud, says Bill, who was greeted in Prague by the family at regular intervals. •

[zaundump]

I've never actually posted my old SInco fics to Tumblr I think so I thought maybe people here might like it. It can be found on AO3 too. C:

Drowning -5/28/2022

A part of him felt like he was drowning again, however. Like he was floating in those endless murky waves, the sound drowned out around him to a quiet whisper he could only just perceive if he cleared his mind. If not for Jinx, he'd give himself up to it.

As his vision faded in and out, Silco knew one thing only: he was supposed to be dead, and this was clearly some cruel joke thrust upon him by the undercity itself. Something about how he'd never be able to fix what he spent his whole life working toward and he'd be stuck living in his failure forever.

Or something like that.

He didn't give much of a shit, truthfully. He'd do it willingly too if it saved his daughter.

A part of him felt like he was drowning again, however. Like he was floating in those endless murky waves, the sound drowned out around him to a quiet whisper he could only just perceive if he cleared his mind.

If not for Jinx, he'd give himself up to it.

His breath came in short gasps, chest tight and his lungs unable to expand. His body hurt in every possible way and if he remembered correctly–he really should be dead, what with all the bullets he'd been shot with.

He tried to open his eyes but couldn't muster up the energy. Someone undid the ropes binding him to a chair, jostled him, and he cried out in pain. His ears rang and he sank into unconsciousness, only to awaken again when he hit a cold surface that jolted every wound on his body and then some. He couldn't muster a cry of pain this time; he just whimpered.

Two strong hands held him down at the shoulders. Panic rose in his chest. When he opened his eyes they were too blurry, too teary-eyed from pain to register where he was and he couldn't stop shaking.

All he could recognize was the green neon lighting like a dense cloud of smog smeared in front of him. Two indistinguishable figures hovered around him, one taller than the other, the shorter of the two gesturing wildly in his direction

"Get out," a man said.

"Yeah. No shit," said the other, a deep feminine voice he almost recognized. "I don't want to hang around this place. Just fix him or I'll come for you next."

A door slammed shut.

He expected silence and his ears merely rang. He heard muttering he couldn't decipher, metal tools sliding across the surface of the table he laid on. Tremors shook his body and he felt cold.

"I didn't expect you back in my care so soon, Silco."

Shut up, he thought.

Silco braced against the table, shakily pulled himself up, and got shoved back down onto his back by those same strong hands. His skull rattled as it collided with the surface. His vest was discarded, torn shirt quickly cut through with a pair of scissors.

He either felt pain, or numb, or both.

The man's fingers prodding his sides and chest sent waves of pain through his body. More whimpers.

"Intriguing," the man muttered.

His soft voice comforted Silco; he understood now who he'd been dropped off to, but Corin's expertise didn't exactly strike confidence in Silco. Hell, he still didn't know what he did to Jinx because the days passed so fast.

Corin's bandaged hand brushed sweaty locks of hair out of Silco's eyes. A gesture of affection the man so rarely showed. Silco reached up to touch it, but his arm fell.

"Multiple bullet wounds. Possible lung damage." Corin shuffled his tools around. "Somehow, no arteries hit and you're still conscious, which I'll fix now."

Before Silco could say anything about how weird it was to dictate this, his shoulder was grabbed and a needle jabbed into his side.

-----

A tranquilizer.

Pain meds.

A low dose of shimmer– but not too much.

Enough to stabilize Silco.

To keep him alive.

Like a trial run, a test to see if he'd given Jinx too much or if her sudden descent into madness was related to her past.

Four bullet wounds, cracked ribs, a destroyed lung even he couldn't do anything with when he'd finally gotten deeper in there to find the source of Silco's staggered breathing.

His hands and bandages were covered Silco's blood and he took great care in working on him to ensure a somewhat decent recovery.

If it had been anyone but Silco, or–gods forbid–Viktor, he'd have merely sent them away to die on the streets.

He worked on the girl due to Silco's attachment to her; he understood, deeply. The loss of his own daughter still tugged at what remained of his heart similarly to how he felt seeing Jinx and now Silco, who should have been dead, laying in shock on his table.

Their goals were not the same. Silco was snappy, sometimes temperamental, focused on leadership and economy and 'Zaun'; Singed mostly stuck to himself, buried in studies, regardless of where he made his home at the time.

So with all his research he never understood what it was that made him care.

He didn't understand how they grew into a quiet relationship. First he was approached for a job; Silco heard about him from his time at the academy, and had a clear goal in mind that matched what Singed wanted to do, so he took it.

Somewhere along the way he didn't quite realize how close they'd gotten. Deep down, he gave Silco the best he could in fixing him up, because he didn't want to lose another person.

-----

Silco's eyes opened to a low hanging ceiling in a room that smelled like an overwhelming mixture of too many scents. It stung his nose but he couldn't pinpoint what exactly each smell was, only wishing that they'd go away.

His brain was fuzzy as he tried to recall how he got there. Or where he even was. He looked at his hands, unable to register how slow they moved and how hard it was to lift them, like some invisible force was working against him.

His bound chest hurt with every breath he took. It wouldn't expand, he couldn't get a deep enough breath. His breaths came quicker and quicker as he hyperventilated and the pain was so great on his bruised and tender chest he could almost cry.

Not almost, actually. He did.

"You're awake."

Panic shocked his body, but he couldn't move.

"You won't be able to move for a few days." Corin walked into the room with something in his hands. Silco couldn't tell if it was shimmer or something else with his shaky, teary vision. The sky was, terrifyingly, the limit for this man.

"Where am I?" Silco hissed quickly, breathless. His eyes squeezed shut.

"My home."

"Why?"

"Do you not remember? I didn't give you a high dose."

Corin sat down on the edge of the cot, fussing with whatever was in his hands. Silco bent his knees and tried to lay on his side. A thin blanket laid over him.

"It's all one blurry nightmare," he muttered.

"Sevika brought you here. She didn't say from where. Four bullet wounds, cracked ribs. I removed your lung because it was too far gone."

"What!"

Silco erupted in a coughing fit. His whole body shuddered and fought against him trying to curl up; his throat felt like sandpaper that rasped with every cough, his lung rattled as he inhaled. His nerves were on fire and he groped around to grab Corin by the arm.

"You'll live. If Sevika had waited longer to bring you here, you might not have. However, I'll have to figure out what to do about it quickly otherwise the undercity air will kill you."

He continued to cough.

His head spun with pain. His vision turned black and he could hardly hear.

Corin's ice cold hand gripped his, thin fingers curling around his palm. The motion strained Silco's shoulder and a whimper escaped his lips.

"This will help. It's a pain killer I made specifically for you, but it's still going to hurt. You'll need fluids soon."

Silco was injected with something and a few minutes later the pain all but subsided into a dull throb. Corin gently pulled him back down onto his back.

"I know you're stubborn, but if you don't rest, you'll die. Decide what you want to do because I did my part."

His body screamed at him to rest–he couldn't move anyway without searing pain. He didn't know how long he was going to be there, desperately wanting his own bed instead of this dingy cot in a storage closet. Sevika might be able to move him, though she wasn't gentle, and thinking about it already made Silco's body tremble.

As his eyes closed against his will, he realized Corin still held his hand. The last Silco remembered of that day was Corin setting it down against his midsection and staying seated at the edge of the cot, swearing he'd give a more detailed explanation when he was up and about.

[lovelolo]

10:03 am - August 5th, 2022.

After mom passed away, the idea of death changed in my brain. It was like trying to divide by zero. It didn't make sense. One minute, they're here, and the next, they don't exist anymore? How? They slip over to somewhere they can't return from, and it's radio silence. No way to ever talk to them again. It's so absolute. I'm stating the obvious, but it didn't feel so obvious before.

The day she was hospitalized, we found out that she wouldn't be returning home again. It was a countdown to her dying because they told us that she couldn't go on living like this anymore, despite us doing such a good job taking care of her for so many years. The process was brutal, and it's what hurts the most when my mind drifts back to that week. We had to shut her off, like when you force shut down a computer. It felt wrong, and it was hard to watch. She was hospitalized on the 1st. On the 3rd, my dad and I signed the paperwork, and on the 5th, she passed away.

The morning she passed, my dad and I had gone home to shower and eat real quick before returning to the hospital. We left my sister asleep on the couch by Mom. I had just started shampooing my hair when I heard my dad yell and scream from the kitchen that she had died. My sister was on the phone with him. I remember rushing out of the shower and trying to put on clothes while my body was still wet. We ran to the car and drove to the hospital as fast as possible.

I was reminded of all this because I finished watching Mr. Plankton just now, and it triggered all sorts of feelings. It was a wonderful show. There were lots of laughs but also a lot of sadness and reminders of death approaching. Those days at the hospital, waiting for her to die, I had imagined what the moment of her death would be like. Would it be something loud and intense or quiet and not noticeable? I wanted to be by her side when it happened, but instead, I was at home showering.

Anyway. I cried a little, and now I'm trying to focus on getting some work done. ♥️

[feuqueerfire]

Lovely Runner Live Blogging

I've been seeing the “i found you girl i like being around you” edits on tiktok but before then, i’d also heard about the show and saw an ep 1 clip of when she runs up to him at the swimming pool. i’m a time travel show enjoyer and this show has been getting such good reviews, so I’m excited. my last few shows have been quite dark and violent and i kinda wanna go for another such show but think a lighter (yet emotional) show might do me some good so that i don’t burn out

Ep 1 (June 25)

2009

omg…

ah, he encouraged her to live through this time when she was contemplating suicide and ig later on she will do the same bc he unfortunately takes his own life before the time travel i think

Dec 31, 2022

13 years, how old were they then and how old are they now?

oh i knew she was a fan but she’s a biiiig fan

ah, they were in high school at the same time and his high school was across hers

some fans hate Sunjae bc he’s too popular and getting opportunities

the band members also seem to not like him and it could be bc of his popularity but he also seems resistant to being an idol in general and wants to retire so that might have smth to do with it

wow she’s really having a tough day: rejected from job bc it has no elevator and she has a wheelchair, late to the concert, and then lost the ticket omg

this scene of Sunjae putting in his in-ear and going on stage is now iconic to me bc of the edits, kept expecting to hear “i found you girl i like being around you” as background music loll

she’s really determined to be positive and make the most of everything, i expect a breaking point soon though

oh, in hyuk doesn’t want him to retire

phone crack

wheelchair stops

yeah the tears finally. what a fucking day

hehe they meet in the current timeline

lolll her getting annoyed that her friend came just when she could’ve been getting a ride w Sunjae

what is that jar that she gave him?

was it Sunjae who saved her from the accident?

the watch was weird for a second. i guess that's gonna be The Object that takes her back/causes everything

ahh he took meds and jumped off into the swimming pool.

this reminds me a bit of True Beauty but like the friend who passed away

time of death: Jan 1, 2023. 12am

dead at 34, so was 21 in 2009? 19 or 20 interactional age?

The fact that she Just saw him alive and seemingly well a few hours ago must make it even more unbelievable

Traveled back

her legs work again

okay, I'd seen this Instagram edit of this scene as the very first thing I saw from this show but I didn't know when I first watched it just how awkward/embarassing this is T.T

aw, is he also going through something now? her talking about how he went through this alone made him soften

SHE SAID SARANGHAE SUNJAE-AH?! please

her still being like 'this is my dream' oh she's gonna be mortified when she realizes this is real in a time travel universe

lolol she's like I'm not dreaming? Fuck, am I dead?

pls i'm dying, Sunjae's so confused while she's acting as if they're both dead now (and mustn't cross the bridge)

so did Sunjae take the watch?

Ah, he probably had to quit being a swimmer and become an idol in the original timeline too because of his shoulder

June 2008

So are they seniors in high school right now?

ahh she gets to see her grandma from 14 years ago when she still recognized Sol before alzheimers or whatever T.T

Aw, Sol cries every time she looks at Sunjae

ah, the parallels of Sunjae holding the umbrella over Sol and asking why she's crying now and in the original timeline

I watched around the first 30-40 minutes of this episode on my iPad while I was on the train (and also like 10 minutes in a restaurant lol). I'm likely going to have to take the train a lot starting the second week of July so I had been thinking that maybe I'll save this one for that time and watch like some raunchy BLs and GLs now that I can't watch on the train but the first ep was quite good, I think I'll binge it now oof.

Ep 2 (July 6)

Since Episode 1, I've watched My Stand-In Eps 1 - 11, Blank Season 1, and reread Mistborn: The Final Empire.

"i can fool a 19-year-old, right?" lol Sol

who is this guy? i know there's a love triangle, is this the second lead?

the people who go back in time/become younger scolding the other kids who seem the same age as them is always funny

ah, so funny, he's the first guy Sol stanned

lmfao please why's he running after the bus

the little icons getting farther and farther away and the song about going farther away playing lmfao

omg, she can't tell him the future/what will happen if he does something? time stops?

woah, you really could just stop time and do a bunch of stuff while shouting future facts lmfao

pls, this future-telling grandma cosplay

Sunjae jealous of Taesung already

how does she keep finding herself in these situations, plssss

like Sunjae is literally so correct to be like what the fuck like actually but also T.T

that guy is indeed Sunjae's father and lmfao Sunjae was the one who borrowed the porn/erotic VHS that Sol's mother has been on the dad's case about

overly dramatic crosswalk scene but i guess it's fine since it's mirroring how she probably got into her accident originally and she has trauma from it

she's the one who gave Sunjae an umbrella first! Also i've def seen this scene from a tiktok or smth

pls so he didn't even mean to borrow the erotic video? smh

this is kinda like My School President when Tinn was trying to impress Gun but everything went wrong and he was being a loser lol

so these two episodes effected the future and there's a photo of Sunjae and Sol on the table but it didn't change the death

Ep 3 (July 6/7)

ah, so he didn't injure himself this time?

hilarious that he can't seem to confess while she's fangirling and cooing over him

the dad left his shoe like cinderella lmfao

eughhhh she's like fuck, you don't want me to be your fan anymore? let's be friends! while he's trying to confess

Sunjae's dad dramatic + full of expectations and pressure + getting ahead of himself

and Sunjae also not tell him about the injury

omg her brother and her friend are both home not noticing the fire in their sight?

does that much water even do anything to a fire? feels like you're not supposed to be doing that...

I wish they hadn't done this fire scene so humorously with the brother and friend, kinda took away from the weight of it. also i wonder if the fire or her mother burning her hand won't still happen bc stuff like the shoulder injury or the ball hitting Im Sol still happened even if in a different way than the original timeline

aw, glad his dad understood

lol she's drunk, how cute

is she gonna forget the confession and kiss? since she's yknow legit drunk. i wonder if ppl made a fuss about it because if it was a bl, this would def have been Discussed in the fandom

ah, ofc she doesn't rmr

bruh aghh it's like I can see where this is going with her listening to the recording + Taesung spotting her + Sunjae being far enough behind that he'll see them (+ he thinks he confessed last night and expects her to remember the kiss too)

i'm gonna kill somebody, she didn't even pause so the "I like you" is just playing with nobody to hear

omg travelling to original timeline

girl what?! how could you say you want to date Taesung or is that not really happening or like what's going onnnnn

Ep 4 (July 7)

Oh, Sunjae had not only saved her but was at the hospital too. He'd liked her throughout his high school time i guess but what about that final night, did he recognize her even then?

oh, he had. wild

ohhh she gave him a bunch of the candy that night that she had given him the very first time when she mistook him for a mailman

hmm okay so the Sunjae POV we got of that night was the original timeline before Sol's time travel thing, right? because the photo wasn't there? and the timeline that Sol's waking up in right now is slightly different based on what she had done?

ok the future had indeed changed

omg what the hell, why did that timeline's Sol reject Sunjae like that, like in this timeline, they were friends??? unless Sunjae was being a creep fr

i got spoiled about she can come back 3 times but how does she know only 1 time is left? also it's just been 10 days?! so why did Sol react like that, wtf

ah, so it's like she's kinda fighting with her 19-year-old self from the past who's in love with Taesung? and doesn't know Sunjae?!?! weird...

so the 19-year-old Sol thought she was possessed because her memory from when older-Sol came back was missing... interesting and complicating

lmfaoo exactly, I was saying she could stop time but shouting out future facts. hilarious to have her shouting celeb marriages

plsss how's she asleep on his floor

"i don't make friends with girls. how can a girl and a guy be friends?" alright lol.

why do we have Hyunjoo pooping her pants and that furthering her romance (?) with Sol's brother come onnn

ah, Taesung mommy issues and feelings of abandonment

yknow I do like Taesung and Im Sol's banter and back-and-forth

i'm cryinggggg, not young-Sol's birthday event for Taesung

it's suchhh a long song, i'm dying. and young Sol's fashion pls

hehe Sol telling Taesung how to treat young-Sol is cute actually

so many weird men... that taxi that went away? and now this guy...

is this Sol's accident but in this timeline?

ah, Sol realizing that Sunjae had saved her

okay, in that original timeline, i thought they just called a random number maybe and was confused and ig that's true but Sunjae specifically called Im Sol's number? or what? how'd he know it? and he knew that it was her he was talking to.

Ep 5 (July 7)

i wonder how the accident happened the first time and why Sunjae was there back then

this bra returning scene reminds me of True Beauty but I can't remember what Suho was trying to give Im Jukyeong, idk why I keep thinking pads??

okay i was gonna be tormented, so I skimmed and it's on ep 2 of True Beauty. She accidentally gave Suho a bag that said "thanks for keeping my bare face a secret" but he hadn't recognized her, so to get it back, she'd said that it has pads (i remembered this part at least)

cryingggg at her being like hmm he said he can't be friends with girls, so all those "just friends" rumours with girls were all real romances (as idol Sunjae). anyway i doubt it bc he seemed to forever be in love with her even over a decade later and that's just a trope I'm gonna have to get used to.

yesss i love a girl saving a guy from the common motorcycle/car trope and also girl kabadoning guy

Sol is cute trying to block all mentions of the swimming Olympics from Sunjae but plsss it's all becoming romantic moments and also iffy when you think about young-Sol having a boyfriend

oh, cop mentioning burying a body... i think I've heard that this show has a serial killer

in the original timeline, the taxi driver with the key indeed did something? but this time the other guy got there? and he's the serial killer or what

damn, taxi driver has Sol's flip phone

not Sol's brother and Sunjae meeting but Sunjae being punished for giving Sol alcohol

cryinggg Sunjae being curious and looking at Taesung's profile but he finds out

pls Sunjae getting mad at Sol's inability to bike reminds me of Tinn yelling at Gun about not knowing any math (My School President). when even the down bad secret crush bearing Sunjae and Tinn lose their minds teaching Sol and Gun lmfao

girl, why is Sunjae buying the same jacket as Taesung T.T but ig they're gonna have him fill in for the vocal... but he's not gonna fill in for Taesung

how humiliating to run into Taesung just as Sunjae bought and wore the bright red jacket because Taesung owns it too yikesss

and that's how the eclipse happened, though Taesung isn't in it for much longer i guess?

Taesung watching Sol watch Sunjae perform reminds me of Twinkling Watermelon

oh, intense yelling from Sol

double whammy of hearing the confession recording finally and Sunjae also telling her to break up with Taesung at the same time

Ep 6 (July 8)

ah, I’m Sol broke up with Taesung but I don’t know if that’s the end of it… but she also knows Sunjae’s confession…

sunjae is quite fun to watch like his despair at his “breakup with taesung” thing going wrong vs joy when taesung got broken up with

Sol’s brother does bother me, why is he so annoying

pls both Sunjae and Sol holding back to appear cool/not “shake the other’s heart” aghhh

Taesung’s “Oh, I think I liked you a lot” is funny

not Taesung getting into a car crash, damn it

so is Sep 1 the day her accident happens? I don’t remember the date. is it gonna happen again even though the bridge thing already happened? or is it a different thing?

Taesung’s dad (?) Kim cop is investigating the case of a he dead bod?

nooo now he has their address bc of grandma

oh, Sunjae confession

Taesung in hospital but his dad doesn’t visit and his friend doesn’t believe in him + he calls Sunjae to let him know that Sol’s mother is at the hospital, oh man

aw mannn Sol rejecting Sunjae because she knows she’s not in the right timeline and is gonna have to leave soon etc. does she realize she’s the one he liked in the original timeline too? he’s talking about liking the rain and on the original timeline radio show he also mentioned it

not having to take an umbrella to Sunjae on the day of Sol’s accident! and after she almost stayed home all day

omg she’s realizing right now that she was his first love back then too and she didn’t “confuse him”

tbf maybe this mans would’ve gotten her even if she didn’t leave right then. a fucking kidnapping

omg this taxi fucker really took her Again D:

Ep 7 (July 8)

oh on that original accident too Sol missed her stop on the bus and Sunjae was waiting with her in the bus, that’s how he was there on the time of her accident on save her

i’m watching this on the subway on my commute to/from work but there are two people talking in korean beside me and i feel awkward watching a kdrama beside them lol

okay they left a couple minutes later

oh at this bridge where her original accident happened is where she dropped that watch and the first time she time travelled, right?

omg who the hell grabbed her in this timeline? bc taxi driver was in the taxi still

good job to sunjae for connecting everything and figuring out the reservoir lmfao

ah, she went back to her time again and the young-Sol is back but also that's kind of oh no in a way, though Sunjae's clever i wonder if he'll be able to figure it out?

i knew from pics i saw that she can use her lefts in the future

Sunjae survived too

pls not her getting mistaken for a sasaeng, i don't even wanna watch anymore

what a different life

damn, young-Sol had another kidnapping a year later?

oh naurrr is Sunjae doing the "who are you? do we know each other?" thing because young-Sol did this to him after he helped her with the kidnapper?

oh he's not even here, it was a scenario in her head lol

lmfao crying, this Sunjae lovesss the attention and fame (though not the stalking)

the shenanigans of them justtt missing each other every time

i can't believe we're getting random enemies-to-lovers right now, especially with them texting each other antagonistically, this is soooo fun

i seriously need to go to sleep but ahh

owww

oh, the concert didn't happen

ah, and they met on the bridge again

35 minutes after my bedtime already, gonna take a while to fall asleep too, whelp

Ep 8 (July 9)

omg Sunjae got the time capsule egg before it got torn down and he even waited on Jan 1, 2023 fully expecting her to come - and she did, so why didn’t they meet?

and Sunjae got the watch from the time capsule

hmmm would he happen to travel back in time at all? bc she travelled back with his watch and maybe he can travel back with her watch?? esp if smth happens to her idk

lmfao pls not the hotel where they can be alone together

but also he’s an idol going with a random girl lmfao

i loveeeee Sol omg she’s so funny and endearing as she’s talking about how she didn’t mean they should have a passionate night and also mentions that they had crushes on each other in a throwaway line but she doesn’t wanna skip intros and get to the conclusion But she’s not judging sunjae for thinking that, they just have different values lmfao what a cutie but sunjae’s gonna act clueless like oh? what were you thinking as if he doesn’t know what this insinuates

i loveeee celeb/non-celeb romance esp when it actually shows the reporters and rumours and fans and such and how they can affect/limit the relationship

he has such a big house why not hide the cut out in some random storage room omg

pls and now Sunjae thinks she plans to stay the night and have sex lmfao

true Inhyuk would be like what the hell, Sunjae can’t fall for Im Sol again!!

Taesung?

Inhyuk talking about how Sunjae’s liked only Im Sol this whole time and kept going back to her old house whenever he was drunk while Sol can hearrrrr

ah, she confessed that she used to like him too

i kept being nervous that Taesung would somehow be in the house but Sunjae/Sol first kiss!

isn't it crazy fr, after 15 years you finally meet again and this time the girl you've loved forever confesses back and you kisssss and it's not a shitty one either

what the hell, the fuckass taxi driver is here too? that was indeed Taesung before right or did i mistake taxi driver for Taesung, I hope not

"Even if somebody sent me back to the past, I would never gamble with my future" whelp Hyunjoo, don't foreshadow too hard

the stalker makes me nervous both in terms of what if that person was the person who was knocking or whatever the night Sunjae died and also what if she finds out that Sunjae's dating Sol and does something to either of them?

okayyyy, so the taxi driver mans went and attacked Sunjae, was it the same thing in the previous iterations too?

I listened to the Afternoona Soju podcast episode and learned about 2 scenes: Sunjae and Taesung drink and do karaoke together and cuddle to sleep, and Sunjae's speech envelope + Sol's resignation letter get swapped so he ends up saying that out loud as a speech

Ep 9 (July 9)

so as hinted, a year after she came back to the current timeline, in the young timeline 2009, the taxi guy kidnapped Im Sol again and Sunjae saved her again and that's what caused that guy to get jailed until now

i loveee 2009 freshman Sol's hair, beautifully bangs and wavy hair

Hyunjoo's joyoush "hmm" and nod at 33:50 after Sol asks her if it was her idea is sooooo good omg i replayed several times

omg, the sudden "are you really from the future?" that had like no build-up, so I was surprised hehe

ahhh they kissed accidentally ofc they did, ig we'll see Sunjae and Sol married by the end?

Ep 10 (July 10)

ah, makes sense that Sunjae wouldn’t actually believe the time travel stuff oof

pls hiding under the table is so T.T

oh she’s telling Taesung about the time travel too

i like it when in a love triangle the guys try to impress the family like now with the flooding and in Ture Beauty with the dumplings but it’s annoying when they let it get the best of them and don’t care about what’s actually happening like why are you up arguing and making a mess instead of helping clean up wtf

i do like Sunjae Taesung antagonizing when it’s like verbal and witty not physical fights

oof Taesung telling Sunjae that he shouldn’t even be jealous of him bc Sol clearly likes Sunjae

Superstar K vs going to the states

ah, he digs up the time capsule and figures out that he dies (possibly because of trying to protect Sol) that time in the future

oh, the billboards changed and Eclipse is releasing their new album instead of Sunjae’s stabbing hmm i can’t tell bc im watching on my phone but is Sunjae in that photo?

Ep 11 (July 10)

ARE THEY GONNA GET BACK REFUNDS FOR THE PLANE AND THE REHABILITATION? and are they gonna get the luggage back?!

not this kissing gossip lmfao

yknpw technically this is a noona romance in this timeline 3x Sol x 20 Sunjae (krn age)

the “should we roll back another minute? if you give me another chance, i’ll do my best” thing is soooo cute like Sunjae fr was just going for the remote not the kiss like Sol thought

i’m crying from second hand embarrassment at the parents and brother finding them like this and am dreading the hundreds of condoms reveal T.T plssss and even Basic instincts got brought up again and Sunjae having to cover Im Sol’s ears i cannotttttt, how humiliating

the condoms flying out like this is really and truly killing me i can’t watch fuckkk if i was sunjae i would have to leave move away say good bye to Sol like life death and time could not make me stop loving you but this… in front your family? yeah i’d learn to live

lmfao the family meeting was very funny

he sings sonagi for her on a stage ahhh first of all he’d died but she gets to see him sing again + knows it’s about her this time

ah this fucking killer mans

Ep 12 (July 10)

ofc both Sol and Sunjae are gonna try to stop the murderer

lol will Sunjae get jealous of In Hyuk lmao

i can't watch this toilet water nothing pls at least use the water that's stored in the tank of the toilet not in the fucking bowlll

is the institution just that they made out? because i don't think they had sex?

lmfao maybe now the MIL and FIL will finally get along

omg, she's pretending to have gone back so that Sunjae doesn't stay with her at this place where the attacker's gonna come

oh also i'd figured out the 3 lives thing a while back btw i'd been like how does she know w/ certainty that she has 3 chances but the clock said 3, then 2, and now it's at 1

Ep 13 (July 11)

just go so frustrated that Youngsoo figured out that Sol was setting a trap bc that guy put his hand on her to check but Sol ended up shouting for Detective Kim eughhh such planning and yet

and Sunjae runs into him right then ofc

not Sunjae getting knifed! and falling off he cliff!!!

oh, Sol returned

girl where the hell is Sunjae like nice to see Sol’s life and Taesung but c’mon

i got spoiled about the letter switching and Sunjae giving actor award speech from Sol’s resignation letter so i don’t have like The Suspence for this

ohhh Sunjae’s watch also became a time machine

oh my godddd his time machine also takes Sol back in time for some reason and she literally cuts it off right at the beginning?!?! doesn’t give him the umbrella in the rain

curious about how they’ll explain the killer stuff in the past if Sunjae’s not there to save Sol?

Ep 14 (July 11)

so Sol and family just move away soon after like Sunjae still has his sling? yknow what let me not think too much

lolol articles coming out. i didn’t realize he was just gonna be mc-ing

ahhh Ryu Sun Jae is gonna be acting in Im Sol’s script?!

ouch the script hurts (though she’s plagiarizing so hard from alternate timeline Sunjae!!)

both of them busy trying to reject the script/actor but omg poor Sol. it sucks so bad to be the one who remembers, like when Sunjae used to remember while young Sol forgot and now thisssss after everything

another enemies to lovers arc

okay i was wondering how we’d go back to Sunjae knowing but ig he’ll get dreams and memories

oh, the murderer is gonna attack the sasaeng girl instead?

Sunjae is just Meant to be obsessed with Sol in every timeline ig

yaas the lottery tickets truly a must for a fucking time travel anything

ah the ferris wheel

Ep 15 (July 11)

the taxi driver can’t be obsessed w Sol in this timeline too right esp bc it’s been 15 years since his interest in the original tl

not Sol’s mom trying to set Sol up with sunjae now loll how the tables have turned

lmfao this time it’s Sunjae hiding from Sol when usually it was the other way around in the past timelines

oh, the killer is actually targeting Sunjae straight up this time maybe, not Sol first

Sunjae’s memory coming back in flashes

oh, he's got it all back

omg dramatic. killer guy almost got Sunjae again and then for a second I got nervous that Taesung was gonna crash like the other way so that killer T-bones his car

Ep 16 (July 11)

last ep!! 1h 19 mins instead of the usual 61-63 mins

killer dies just like that

ahh meeting again after remembering

"because he died, somebody else might get to live"

they kiss pretty nice

the parents do make me laugh, the dad being like hah i know Sunjae chose a good, beautiful girl to date while the mother's like hah i know she's no beauty

ah, marriage and wedding, cute

Overall:

A fun show with a fun concept and great acting + romance. It was funny and delightful most of the time, there was a kind of killer/suspense aspect but that wasn't really ever the Focus, Sunjae being killed was the focus; similarly, they didn't thoroughly explain the time travel because the mechanics wasn't the focus, Sol going back was the focus.

I liked Sunjae and Sol together and it was fun seeing how Sunjae was slightly different in the different timelines lol I liked seeing the couple on high school, college, as idol!Sunjae and actor!Sunjae. It did feel a bit like consistency was lost in their relationship but that was the point i guess. It was a very romantic concept, the way they were falling in love in every timeline.

Everything about it was good and I was engaged, I just don’t think I’d think about it much though. Kinda reminds me of When I Fly Towards You c-drama in that way; a cute youthful romance drama but I'm not hung up on it. At least it kept me company during my commute of the first week at my new internship.

Rating: 7/10

[marmixedwithabitofintellect]

Uncertainty

Hi my loves! I know I have been gone for a while and I am so sorry; I've had some personal things going on that have left me feeling so unmotivated and sad, but I am slowly coming out of that slump and I will get back in the groove! In the meantime enjoy this blurb, it is a sad one but it is really good and will give you another glimpse into how these two are making everything work! It would make me really happy to hear what you think of it after you read it, my inbox is always open for you guys 🩶 All the love, Mar

August 14, 2022 – September 13, 2022: Month Nine

September 3rd, 2022

Harry. New York City, New York. 5:00 PM.

I knocked the door three times and took a step back while I waited for her to answer. A minute later she opened the door and gave me a small smile, “You know you can use the key right?”, I nodded and cleared my throat, “I know, s’just I didn’t want to intrude”, she nodded and stepped aside.

I walked into the foyer and removed my coat and shoes while she closed the door; once I had dropped everything I had brought I reached for the paper bag and handed it to her, “Uhm, here, I got you some Levain cookies”, she nodded her head and quietly thanked me before clearing her throat, “She’s in the living room playing, why don’t you join her while I finish making her dinner?”

I nodded and started making my way to the living room, a smile reaching my lips and filling me with a warm fuzzy feeling when I heard her coo, once I entered the living room I cooed to her, “Hi baby! Oh, hi Pip!”, she turned her little head to see me and gave me a gummy smile before squealing in excitement and reaching out for me.

Once I sat down next to her, I pulled her into my arms and started kissing her chubby cheeks and pretended to bite them, which in turn had her cackling, I stopped kissing her for a minute and pulled back a little to see her and ran a hand down her head, “Oh baby I missed you so so much and I saw you last night huh? I’m sorry I couldn’t come earlier, dada had to finish getting ready to leave.”

I reached out for the little plastic toys she had been playing with so we could now both play together; a few moments later Y/N came back into the living room and sat down in front of me but making sure to keep a considerable distance between us, I did try to not let that hurt me too much, but I definitely failed.

She cleared her throat again and nervously asked, “So, are you all packed?”, I nodded, “Yeah, finished yesterday after the concert and did the last fittings this morning, I’m sorry again for not coming by”, she shrugged, “I understand, I appreciate the fact that you are here now” I smiled a little and nodded.

We sat there in silence while playing with Pippa for about ten minutes before she looked at the clock and then turned to look at me, “So, her dinner is already plated, and I prepared something for you too, Jeff let me know what you were eating”, I nodded before asking, “Will you be joining me?”, all hope disappeared the moment she shook her head, “I actually wanted to take advantage of dinner and bath time to relax a little.”

I nodded in understanding, “That’s okay, are you okay? You look a little pale”, she nodded, “I feel a little under the weather, but then again I have had so much going on lately”, I nodded not wanting to get into a fight with her before I left, and we both stood up and made our way to the main hallway, “If you need anything just knock on ou- the bedroom yeah?” I nodded and kissed Pippa’s cheek while walking to the dining room.

Dinner went down great, Pippa scarfed down everything her mum had prepared for her and so did I, there really was nothing more wonderful than a homemade meal prepared by the love of your life. After making sure the kitchen was clean and the dishwasher was loaded, I pulled Pippa from her chair and made my way to the nursery.

Bath time was fun and messy as always; she splashed all around and then cried a little when it was time for her to get out and dressed. Once I opened the bathroom door, I noticed Y/N had already set the room for her nighttime routine and my heart started breaking again. Four days, four tortuous and long days I would be away from my girls; I hadn’t even left, and I was already wishing to be back.

I grabbed the bottle sitting on top of the dresser and after zipping Pippa into her sleep sack, I settled on the rocking chair and started swaying, once the bottle was near her, she latched on hard and started drinking her milk, I laughed a little and stared at her, at the girl who, alongside her mother, was the sole purpose of my existence.

“I’m going to miss you Pip, so much”, I kissed her forehead and watched her sleepily pull the last bits of milk before she surrendered to her sleep, “I will be gone for four days, but I promise I will come back; I will always come back for you”, I kissed her forehead and place the bottle beside me while I burped her, once she was done I settled her again in my arms and started kissing her forehead and shushing her.

“I know things look and feel scary right now, and yes it is my fault, but I promise I will make things right for you, because I vowed to give you a life and a home full of love and happiness and I intend to keep my promise baby; no matter what I have to do”, when I turned to look at her she was fast asleep and I smiled before setting her on her crib and making sure her white noise machine, monitor and night light were on.

I quietly exited the bedroom and made my way to the living room where I found Y/N in a lounge set with her hair wet as she sipped some tea and read a book. When she heard my steps, she looked at me and closed her book before placing it on the coffee table and stoop up then asked me, “Did she go down okay?” I nodded and started walking to the kitchen to rinse the bottle and place it with the others to be washed.

We stood there for a moment no one saying anything when a ding from my phone broke the stillness we had settled into; I pulled it out and sighed before turning to look at her, “It’s Jeff, said he is here to pick me up”, she nodded and wrapped herself up in an embrace while running her hands down her arms.

We started making our way to the foyer where I geared up again and turned to see her, I cleared my throat, “Please call if you need anything, no matter the time, either Jeff, Tommy or myself will answer”, she nodded, “Don’t worry, we have a series of plans lined up with Glenne and Sarah”, I gave her a small smile, “I will always worry, about you and her”, she nodded and spoke up, “Have a safe flight and trip H”.

My hands itched to hold her so I decided to follow my heart and pull her into a hug, she was tense at first, but the slowly relaxed and even hugged me back a little, after a moment I pulled back and kissed her forehead before whispering into the space between us, “Can I kiss you? Please?”

My heart broke the moment she pulled back and shook her head while clearing her throat, “You should go, you’ll be late if you don’t”, I sniffled and nodded and turned to the door and opened it, but before I closed it I looked into her eyes before speaking up, “I don’t care if I have to wait a year, five years, fifty years or an eternity; my love for you is so strong I will do anything for you to forgive me”

She walked to the door and there was a glimmer of hope in me, which was crashed as soon as she grabbed the handle, making sure I knew she was closing the door even if I was there before speaking up, in a serious tone of voice I had never heard from her, “Goodbye Harry” I nodded and started walking to the elevator willing the tears away even after I heard the door close.

Taglist @adoredeanna @alienorknight @b-reads-things @be-with-me-so-happily @behindmygreyeyes @cherrylovesblog @karenarella22 @daphnesutton @dayxoxodreamer @dirtytissuebox @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @goldenlouvr @groovychaosavenue @harrysficreblog @harryspirate @hoya122 @imaginesofdreams @i-got-the-cinema @infinitely-yellow @irelilien @itsgabbysblog @itsgigikay @itsmytimetoodream @jgoff717 @kathy522 @kaitieskidmore1 @last-saturday-night @michellekstyles @msolbesg @sagcas-latte @seguin-styles1996 @shawnsblue @sunshinemoonsposts @tinydeskwriter @tinydestinybear @tpwkstyles1d @voosa @watercolorskyy @wherethehellhaveyoubeenharry

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2023

What a weird year for pop music, full of strange trends, confusing garbage and unexpected hits. Once again, even if the charts don’t always reflect it, music as a whole is currently very interesting to follow closely.

Disclaimers / Rules:

I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these lists. There’s songs that charted in my country way higher than they did in the US, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

No song that I already put on a previous list is elligible.

No old hit song that is re-charting due to a holiday or a trend is elligible either.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible.

I have sound-to-color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

A lot of bad stuff happened to me this year (several accidents in a row, and also my cat died) but some good stuff too, thank goodness. I only went to two concerts this year (Bloodywood and BMTH), but they were both absolutely amazing. Pretty sure the Bring Me The Horizon one was the best concert I ever went to, actually, and there's a lot of competition considering all the great ones I went to in 2022. I'm just sad 100 gecs had to cancel theirs, I was really looking forward to it. Oh well.

Let’s start with the good or interesting albums that came out in 2023, and oh my, that's a long list already.

Albums

Starting as usual with stuff that disappointed me: Depeche Mode's Memento Mori was... actually it was all right, but I miss the days when I could get excited about a new Depeche Mode album, I really do.

Pink Tape by Lil Uzi Vert was a giant fucking mess. There's some absolute bangers on it, and then you get to the next track and it's the worst thing you've ever heard. Which makes for an interesting listening experience, for sure, but one I'm in no hurry to repeat. At least it's never boring.

After the Magic by Parannoul isn't exactly my cup of tea, but you should definitely listen to it once, I think. It's something special. It might grow on me, though, because I only listened to it for the first time last month.

On the other hand, I listened to Scaring the hoes by Jpegmafia and Danny Brown a while ago, and while this one is definitely not my cup of tea, it's also a ton of fun and I don't feel like a single second of my time was wasted on it. You should listen to it for the samples alone, and just out of sheer curiosity if nothing else.

A kiss for the whole world by Enter Shikari is a weird beast, because the singles are absolutely incredible, but then the rest is a big pile of nothing (at least in my opinion). But the singles, man. I really don't know how to judge it as a whole, the quality is on a rollercoaster.

Kind of the same thing happened with Electric Sun by VNV Nation, one of my favorite bands of all times if not my favorite, if you recall. Some tracks completely floored me, the rest was meh. Oh well. Noire was so incredibly good that I can live with an average VNV album dropping after it.

Fanfare by Dorian Electra was full of absolute bangers but... I don't know, there's some of the madness of the previous record missing. And yes, I'm saying the album containing the minion line (you know the one) is more serious than My Agenda. Go figure. But it's still very good!

Two different friends told me to listen to 4D by Blank Banshee, so I did, obviously. Great electro album. Send tweet

I'm not entirely sure what to think of Atta by Sigur Rós. I cried several times while listening to it for the first time and it's a genuinely impressive series of tracks, but it's also so devastating I've only relistened to it twice since then.

I only discovered Svalbard a couple of years ago, and this year they dropped The weight of the mask, which might be even better than their previous album. It's mostly about depression and trying to fake normality while being depressed. Not a very pleasant topic, and yet this is full of energy and... hope? Everything sounds unbearably bright and between the screams, you feel like everything will be better eventually. Great stuff.

Speaking of depression, there's also No joy by Spanish Love Songs. If you recall their previous album was my album of the year a few lists ago. Their sound changed slightly, and at times it almost sounds like The Killers, but not in a bad way. There's a couple of tracks I don't like very much, but the writing is still on point, and some tracks are among my faves I put in the "unelligible songs" part.

Census Designated by Jane Remover, on the other hand, came out of nowhere just to kick me in the face. I don't even know what to say about that one. Go listen to it.

I found Gunship almost by accident a few months ago, and they immediately dropped a new album, called Unicorn. It's just a huge pile of great synthpop through and through - if you don't mind a couple of really stupid lines (godddd that third track is full of them). The other downside is that it's way too long (more than an hour), and if it was up to me, I'd remove at least four tracks from it. Unlike...

...10000 gecs by, who else, 100 gecs. It's less than half an hour long and it's so fun and so varied in its sounds and so stupid while still being incredibly well produced. For the longest time I couldn't decide which one of the last five albums on this list was my favorite, and then I relistened to all of them in a row and felt compelled to play this one a second time after I was done. Definitely worth the wait.

Unelligible Songs

This is kind of a non-hits rec list of sorts, but you know the drill. I also have to mention that two songs from previous lists (The Magic Key by One-T and Dernière Danse by Kyo 2003 represents) recharted this year for some unfathomable reason.

Gonna start with my fave tracks on some of the albums I already mentioned. Because why not.

The only song I consider great on the Depeche Mode album was People are good which sounds like character development considering People are people also exists

Speaking of Depeche Mode, one band arguably out-depeche-moded them this year so let me introduce you to ††† (Crosses) with Ghost ride, Invisible hand and Holier

Lil Uzi Vert is next with Suicide doors and its deranged intro immediately followed by FUCK YOU, AND FUCK YOUR BITCH then Uzi following that by stating they're the Crow. Yes, really. Also there's Werewolf, literally a Bring Me The Horizon song with Lil Uzi Vert on it, and if I had a nickel every time that happened this year I'd have two nickels, which isn't much but-

Wait let me interrupt this list with another song called Werewolf which I've listened to WAY too much this year. It's the kind of song you listen to ironically at first but after the tenth time that happens you realise it's no longer ironic and you love it for real. Seeing Motionless In White live kinda helped, not gonna lie, but still

For Enter Shikari, we have A kiss for the whole world, Bloodshot, and especially [pls] set me on fire, which might be one of my most listened to tracks of 2023, actually

VNV Nation had Wait, Invictus, and Artifice, which are all absolute bangers in my opinion. Ronan is angry and we love to hear it

By the way this year Pink released an extremely VNV-like song called Trustfall and it's very good but also uncanny

Kylie Minogue is also doing something vaguely similar with Hold on to now but in a more mainstream normal way btw

And then for something completely different, we have Dorian Electra singing about obsessive fans on Symphony, fame on Wanna be a star, and most importantly writing anon hate and immediately deleting it on anon

Run is the first track of the Blank Banshee album I rec'd and it's only one minute long so listen to it maybe

Technically I can recommend Gold if you want some taste of the Sigur Rós album but you need to listen to the entire album to get the full crushing effect

Svalbard isn't going to lighten up the mood with How to Swim Down and Faking it

Neither is Spanish Long Songs with Clean-up crew, Marvel, Here you are and Lifers, the last one being notable for having what's possibly my fave bridge of the entire year, and all of them for being endlessly quotable. Stay alive out of spite everyone

Also not lightening up the mood is Jane Remover with Census Designated on the album also called Census Designated

But what's this? It's Gunship with a steel chair trying to punch some joy into this list with Holographic heart, Nuclear Date Night, Taste like venom and Monster in paradise!!

And the gecs with a second steel ch- wait no it's a plastic chair shaped like a frog. Anyway here's Dumbest girl alive and Hollywood baby, and both of them go wayyy harder than they have any rights to

ok that was a lot of songs already. Here's Everything goes on by Porter Robinson as a palate cleanser

Also the first reggaeton song to ever end on one of my playlists, Sci-fi by Tainy and Rauw Alejandro

Also I'm gonna put a gif here otherwise Tumblr won't let me post something with such a long uninterrupted list in it

Ok back to the list of recs

Let's get the humiliation out of the way and say that this year I listened to Raining blood but it's super emo more than I ever listened to Raining blood in all my years combined

Oh yeah and Linkin Park released some old (finished and unfinished) tracks from the Meteora era and I'm kinda pissed off cause Lost missed the year end list. Fighting myself is excellent too, and if you want a really heartwrenching unfinished track, Resolution has a giant Chester-shaped hole where its chorus should be and the lyrics make it even worse. You're welcome

Possibly the most mainstream song on this entire rec list but I'm also pissed off Bad Idea right? by Olivia Rodrigo didn't chart enough to count for my top ten hit songs

I can offer you Eat the acid by Kesha if you want an awesome but mildly disturbing listening experience

For some electro/future pop here's Head over heels by Solitary Experiments

Wait there's also Bring the noise by Neuroticfish

Over is there if you need some Chvrches doing some Chvrching

Justice for Gladiator by Jann

Pointing at Even Jesus got the blues by Gabe Lee and saying I would listen to more country if it sounded half as good as that song, not like anyone cares

Holding on to nothing by Sierra. Send tweet

Northwind + Sky-colored dream by Strawberry Hospital and Parasite Heart is just seven minutes of cool pastel screams

And for an absolute goth banger everyone collectively decided to ignore here's Train to Harlem by Korine

I can't get enough of Nosebleeder by Lil Lotus and that's probably mildly embarrassing at my age but I've decided to stay mildly embarrassing forever

kisses by Slowdive if you want vibes and vibes only

Blood and sugar by Boys Like Girls if, like me, you want something that sounds exactly like The 1975

Choose your fighter by Ava Max if you want something that sounds exactly like Barbie Girl

I really wish I could explain what my feelings are every time I listen to The King by Anjimile but the only thing I'm sure about is that I'm feeling something a LOT and that it's terrifying

On a lighter note here's Mall rat by Durry, a very upbeat pop punk song about mall goth teenagers having fun and it's extremely good, listen to it immediately if you're having a bad day

And as some of you might have expected because of that previous gif, we're gonna finish with some Bring Me The Horizon, who have joined my list of favorite bands alarmingly quickly (that new album can't drop soon enough), and let's just say LosT and especially AmEN! were some of my absolute fave non-hit songs this year. Seriously. What the fuck was that.

And now, some elligible hits that didn't make the list.

Honorable Mentions

Tiki Taka (Vacra) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years.

Shining Light (Aime Simone) - I wish I liked that artist more.

Unholy (Sam Smith & Kim Petras) - At first I didn't like this one, and then I headcanoned Kim Petras as a girl in a confessional and Sam Smith as the priest on the other side looking concerned but also weirdly into it, and suddenly it was a really funny song.

Dance the night away (Dua Lipa) - I'm pretty sure that's the song Chained to the Rhythm by Katy Perry is talking about

Casanova (Soolking) - This is a borderline guilty pleasure, and also it sounds like Magic System. Which is a bonus, by the way.

Calm Down (Rema) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 2: the sequel

Rush (Ayra Starr) - Afrobeats is the best thing that happened to the charts in recent years 3: the sequel to the sequel

Strangers (Kenya Grace) - Very good low-key track to play when you're driving at night

Bloody Mary (Lady Gaga) - What can I say. It's Lady Gaga. It's good.

I remember everything (Zach Bryan) - And for "songs that would be on the list if I had good taste-"

Going going gone (Luke Combs) - The last cut from the list. Great earworm, good writing.

THE ACTUAL TOP TEN LIST

This is a very solid list, actually. All of these things are still on some of my playlists to this day.

10 - Bad Habit (Steve Lacy)

US: #39 / FR: Not on the list

This was the last cut from my 2022 top 10 and it was a painful one, so imagine my joy when I saw it was elligible for this year's list too! Welcome back, Steve Lacy, your little song is still an earworm and a half even after all this time.

9 - Cruel Summer (Taylor Swift)

US: #18 / FR: Not on the list

I have no idea how a song that rhymes "oh woah oh" with "summer" can sound so good. Well played, madam. Well played.

8 - Star Walkin' (Lil Nas X)

US: Not on the list / FR: #67

Not the best Lil Nas X song by a mile, and still quite good! It plays a lot at the gym for some reason. The hype is real, even after hearing it pretty much every hour on the hour. And despite that weird, weird line about his dad.

Very surprised it's not on the US year-end list, by the way.

7 - Vois sur ton chemin (Bennett)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69

If you're creeped out by the AI-generated kids in the music video, I think that's kind of the point, which is why I can tolerate it for once.

Anyway, this is a remix of a choir song about lost kids, originally from a retro movie called Les Choristes which came out back when I was a teenager. And now it's been turned into a somewhat creepy techno remix of itself, and you know what's bad about that? Not a single thing actually. Play it again.

6 - Fast Car (covered by Luke Combs)

US: #8 / FR: Not on the list

If you remember correctly, Fast Car was the number one song of the very first list I made in this series (1988). And since this cover is so similar to the original song, I considered making it non-elligible for this list. I counted it in the end but put it kinda low compared to the original. It's only fair.

5 - Anti-hero (Taylor Swift)

US: #4 / FR: Not on the list

I was pretty indifferent to this one at the beginning of the year, but it slowly but surely grew on me. Everything has already been said about this song. So yeah, it's very good. I like it. It's on the list.

Moving on!

4 - Substitution (Purple Disco Machine x Kungs)

US: Not on the list / FR: #56

Some songs just make you want to move every single time you hear them, without fail. The thing is, this one plays a LOT on the radio in public settings, so catch me dancing in the aisles of the local supermarket every time it's on. It's like some memetic SCP bullshit.

At this point, it should be possible to make a great playlist with all the best retro-sounding hits we got in the past five years or so - and yeah, put this one on it too, for sure.

3 - Miracle (Ellie Goulding, Calvin Harris)

US: Not on the list / FR: #51

At some point this was my number one, and can you really blame me? An Ellie Goulding song with a drop that sounds exactly like a Robert Miles track? Really?

Then I realised I loved Robert Miles' tracks because of that dreamy piano/synth melody they all have, and that this song only had a drop/musical chorus that sounded like that, so something was missing. Oh well. Still a fantastic dance track, though.

2 - Escapism (Raye)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

Welcome to the other side of most of The Weeknd songs, I guess, but that's also what makes this track so compelling. The intro sounds like anxiety, and even when the song gets more pleasant to listen to it just never goes completely away - just like in the lyrics, in fact. Well written, well produced, everything is on point and if I had better taste it would probably be number one on this list.

Alas, I am what I am.

1 - Just wanna rock (Lil Uzi Vert)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

At some point, this was the third song on the list. Why shouldn't it be? It's so brainless compared to Escapism, and laughably short compared to Miracle. It's just a fragment of a song. It sounds like the intro of a track that will never start.

It's also by far my most replayed hit song on this entire top ten list and I can't justify that in any way. So yeah, putting anything else here felt like lying to myself. The fact it never really starts also means the hype never really ends. Going "daaaaaaaaaaaamn" along with Uzi's distorted vocals is so satisfying.

I just wanna rock, man. What a vibe. See you next year!

[dustedmagazine]

Bryon’s 2024: “Do Ya Think the End of the World is Comin’?”

Rick White and the Sadies

2024 was a great year for adventurous music. Organized sound was the poultice over the festering wound that our socio-political continuum continues to inhabit. The world is literally becoming a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song, and those of us who aren’t members of the billionaire class are on the precipice of another four years of misery. We continue to cling to music as a source of hope.  Here are a few records that raised my spirits this year.

Rosali, Styrofoam Winos, Rick White & the Sadies

There was a wellspring of hopefulness that emerged from the intersection of roots, folk, and indie rock this year, beginning with the vernal rocking out that Rosali and her band emitted on Bite Down.  (https://rosali.bandcamp.com/album/bite-down). I was lucky to catch her in full band mode when she came through Toronto, and spirits were high as the group ripped through their set. Similarly, the sophomore effort from indie twangsters Styrofoam Winos brought a helping of fun and levity to 2024. The band released a trio of humorous videos

to accompany their Real Time album, and it looks like they had a great time making them.  They certainly had me chuckling.  After the unfortunate passing of The Sadies’ front man Dallas Good back in 2022, the band’s future was uncertain. The surviving members convened with longtime friend Rick White (Eric’s Trip, Elevator) and their album under the name Rick White & the Sadies really filtered both sides of the amalgamation into a heady psych-roots brew that truly honors Good’s spirit.   

Gastr del Sol

Jim O’Rourke and David Grubbs haven’t worked on music together since the late 1990s, so when they announced the arrival of the archival collection We Have Dozens of Titles, people’s ears pricked up.  It’s a beautifully assembled box of treasures from across the band’s short-lived career, including songs from a long-forgotten live set that demonstrate why their influence lives on in many threads of the sub-underground’s exploratory music scene.

Dog Faced Hermans, Epic Soundtracks & Jowe Head

The reissue and rediscovery thread continues with Scottish anarcho-punks Dog Faced Hermans. The band digitally remastered their final salvo Those Deep Buds this year, just in time for that album’s 30th anniversary. It’s as powerful and relevant as it was decades ago, the post-punk and free jazz maelstrom searing into our brains while Marion Coutts’ social commentary cries out from among the whirling dervish of angsty energy. Similarly sonically engaging for me was a recently discovered trove of post-Swell Maps recordings from Epic Soundtracks & Jowe Head (https://glassmodern.bandcamp.com/album/daga-daga-daga).  Daga Daga Daga is bookended by the previously released single “Rain Rain Rain” and its b-side “Ghost Train” but features a number of never-been-heard tracks that are short in duration but loaded with manic energy and engaging rhythms. Swell Maps fans, take note: you’ll want to get your ears around this record. 

The List

OK, everyone loves a list, so here are the records that took the edge off the bad vibes of 2024 and raised my spirits.  These are in no particular order.

Rosali — Bite Down

Winged Wheel — Big Hotel

Magic Tuber String Band — Needlefall

Shackleton & Six Organs of Admittance — Jinxed by Being

Mount Eerie — Night Palace

Dirty Three — Love Changes Everything

Rider/Horse — Matted

Honey Radar — Pink Acid Jogger EP

Chris Corsano — The Key (Became the Important Thing [and Then Just Faded Away])

Rick White & the Sadies — S/T

Styrofoam Winos — Real Time

Dog Faced Hermans — Those Deep Buds (reissue)

Epic Soundtracks & Jowe Head — Daga Daga Daga (reissue/rediscovery)

Gastr Del Sol — We Have Dozens of Titles (compilation)

Love Child — Never Meant to Be (1988-1993) (compilation)

Godspeed You! Black Emperor — No Title as of 13 February 2024 28,340 Dead

Haptic — Sensitive Dependence on Initial Conditions

[hrts4hanniehae]

Kpop Self Insert Oc || the beginning

hi guys... have this while I rewrite my smau chpt for the 3rd time... tumblr hates me fr

12 Jan 2022 - The beginning

Soyeon~  Good evening everyone. Today we are debuting our first album, “Oneriophilia”. The title track is “Star Child” and it is written for the children who feel like they never belonged. Our message is that the stars shine for you.

12 January 2022. The debut of Oneiria. The revelation of the nation’s hidden gems.

Host~  Oneiria is Pledis Entertainment’s newest K-pop band. They are one of the only coed K-pop bands out there, with their leader being Kim Soyeon, who I have here with me today.

A new chapter in the world of K-pop was born. On January 12, 2022, Oneiria emerged onto the K-pop stage with a debut that would capture hearts and shatter boundaries. Their very first album, “Oneriophilia,” took the world by storm.

9 Mar 2022 - 1st Live concert~ Oneriophilia 

Jisoo~  Thank you for all the love! I hope you enjoyed the concert!

Jiho~  Have a safe trip home!

Minseok~  Hope you enjoyed the concert.

Soyeon~  Thanks for coming. We are Oneiria.

The crowd cheers as Oneiria disappears backstage.

17 Mar 2022 - 1st Interview~ Getting to know Oneiria

Interviewer~ Congratulations on the success of your debut album, “Oneirophilia”. Can you share with us what inspired your debut album’s concept and title track, “Star Child”?

Jisoo~ I was bullied in junior high and I always felt like I didn’t belong. But luckily I had my sister. I produced the songs in this album for the kids who didn’t have anyone by their side to know that we, Oneiria, are by their side. 

Interviewer~ How has the journey been for Oneiria since your debut? What have been the most memorable moments so far?

Soyeon~ It wasn’t easy. Jisoo and I… our parents disapproved of us becoming idols. They wanted me to become a lawyer, and him a doctor. 

Jisoo~ Fortunately, Soyeon-noona managed to convince them.

Minseok~ Noona also went to help me negotiate with my parents to let me pursue this dream. It’s thanks to her that Oneiria exists.

Interviewer~ Can you tell us about your experience performing your first concert? What was the energy like, and how did it feel to see your fans in the audience?

Jiho~ I never expected to be so… loved by fans. I thought we’d be dancing and performing in silence, but our fanbase is huge! It was truly amazing.

Jisoo~ When they told us our concert sold out completely, I almost broke down.

Interviewer~ Ahhh how emotional! You’ve recently released “Star Child,” which won an award. How did you feel when you heard about the award, and what did it mean to you as a group?

Soyeon~ Jisoo cried. Minseok cried. Jiho screamed. Our hard work all truly paid off. 

Interviewer~ That’s great to hear! Let’s talk about your stage names. What made you choose the stage names Astra, Mirage, and the others, and how do they relate to your individual personalities?

Jisoo~ Astra was the name of my toy lion when I was growing up. It sounded cute so I went with it.

Minseok~ Mirage was cool. I’m a genius for coming up with that

Jiho~ No he used a random name generator.

Interviewer~ [laughs] Kim Jisoo, you’re also involved in production. Can you share your creative process when working on music for Oneiria.

Jisoo~ I just come up with melodies and save them into my phone. When I feel like writing a song, I just choose one and expand it. I have over 40 tunes on my phone right now.  

Interviewer~ That’s amazing… Park Jiho, tell us about the training and hard work that goes into perfecting your dance moves.

Jiho~ My uncle was a dance teacher so he taught me everything I know. I’ve always loved dancing and hard work and dedication are what shaped me into the dancer I am today. There’s no easy way to do things. 

Interviewer~ Each of you has a unique role in the group. If you had to switch roles with another member for a day, who would it be, and why?

Jisoo~ Soyeon-noona. I want to take the weight of everything off her shoulders for once. She’s always so selfless but that’s also her flaw. I want her to know that her younger brothers are always here for her. [Park Jiho & Park Minseok nod in agreement and Soyeon smiles sadly.]

Interviewer~ Fans are often curious about your music tastes. Who’s your favourite K-pop group, and who's your bias there?

Soyeon~ My favourite K-pop group will probably be Seventeen. My bias there is… [Looks to their manager for permission] Dino-sunbaenim.

Interviewer~ Oh really? Dino, your senior in Pledis Entertainment?

Soyeon~ I admire his dancing abilities. Out of the members of Oneiria, I’m the worst dancer. 

Jiho~ She also likes his scenes in the ‘Rock with You’ MV. [Teasing]

Jisoo~ Woozi-hyung is also my idol.

Interviewer~ It’s great to hear that you’re fans of Seventeen and that you admire Dino’s dancing skills, Soyeon. You all seem to have a deep appreciation for their work. Speaking of, Soyeon, I can’t help but notice that you mentioned Dino’s scenes in music videos. Is there a particular reason those scenes stand out to you? Could there be more to this admiration than just dance skills?

Soyeon~ [Slightly flustered, with a warm smile] Oh, well, you know, it’s just... Dino-sunbaenim is incredibly talented, and I find his dancing and stage presence captivating. There’s no deeper meaning to it. [She laughs] We’re just colleagues in the same entertainment family, after all.

Interviewer~ Is that so? Well, how would you feel if I asked Dino about you in their upcoming interview?

Soyeon~ [laughs] We’re in the same company but I doubt he’d know who I am. We’re a group that’s just starting. I’d be surprised if he knew us. 

24 Mar 2022 - Seventeen’s follow-up interview

Interviewer~ Speaking of fans, Dino, do you know you’ve got one special fan in Oneiria? 

Dino~ I do?

Interviewer~ It’s none other than Soyeon, the leader of Oneiria, herself! Let’s watch this clip from our recent interview.

The other members begin to tease Dino. The clip plays.

Dino~ [Slightly flustered, smiles bashfully] Well, that’s unexpected, but it’s nice to hear such kind words. [Clears throat] Soyeon-hoobae, I appreciate your support, and I admire your work too. It’s all about artists encouraging each other, right?

Mingyu~  [Grinning mischievously] Oh, Dino, it seems you’ve got a fan in Oneiria!

Scoups~ [Teasing] Our Dino’s a heartthrob now! Who would’ve thought?

Wonwoo~ [Playfully] Dino, do you have any favourite moments from Oneiria's songs?

Dino~ [Still blushing] Uhm, well, I think “Serenades” is a great song. Their debut album was fantastic.

Hoshi~ [Smirking] You can’t forget that dance practice video they did. I saw you watching that, Dino-ya.

DK~ [Joining in] Yeah, Dino-ya, you were really into that video!

Dino~ [Flustered and chuckling] Hyung, it was just a good dance practice, that’s all!

Seungkwan~ [Teasing relentlessly] It sounds like someone’s got a new favourite group!

The8~ [Teasing] I think Dino is turning into a Star Sailor.

Jun~ [Chuckling] It’s always nice to know that fellow artists appreciate your work.

The8~ Dino, will you show off your dance moves to her?

Joshua~ [Laughs] I'm sure they’d love to see that!

Dino~ [Blushing deeper] Hyung! Let’s focus on the interview!

Jeonghan~ [Winks at Dino] Don't worry, Dino, we’ll make sure to let them know you’re a fan of Oneiria’s music.

Seungkwan~ [Teasing] We’re all watching for those future dance collaborations!

Dino~ Please stop…

tags! @fairyofhour @megseungmin @sun-daddy-yoriichi @woozixo @euphoric-univers @christinewithluv @haowonbins @ocyeanicc @asyre @cynthiaaax13 @superhoshisvt @bangantokchy @chimmy-bts @angelarin @daisawa @writingbarnes @jeonghansshitester

@belladaises @wonwootakemyheart @wonwooz1 @luchiet @kookssecret @caratsland @peachescreamandcrumble @thepoopdokyeomtouched @isabellah29 @leah-rose03 @yandere-stories @coupshour @heesbees @hamji-hae @hyuckxtagram