#i counted eight empty monster energy cans in the bedroom bc i have been too sick to clean for Weeks
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i wanted to write but decided if i was feeling well enough to write then there are more pressing priorities so i got up and got a load of dishes going and tidied a tiny bit. then fumbled thru a phone notes outline real quick. this was not as gratifying as writing would have been but it was the important adult thing to do and i'll be glad to have clean dishes. <-said thru gritted teeth while shaking and growling like a neurotic dog
#i'm basically just trying to stay afloat between supernova migraines fucked-up lungs and chronic inflammation everywhere#i have to make a million fucking health-related phone calls on monday during business hours and there are no clean dishes in the house#i counted eight empty monster energy cans in the bedroom bc i have been too sick to clean for Weeks#in amidst all this. it would be stupid to spend time on writing. my energy needs to go into keeping the apartment biohazard-free#and trying to get work. but CHRIST i wish i could use my snatches of clarity to do creative stuff instead#feels a bit like being a severance innie. blackout fog followed by work followed by fog followed by chore and work and chore#and very little else. christ.#at least i'm getting back to the pool. that's Something.#autoimmune tag
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