#i couldnt access where my upset was so everything i said sounded flimsy
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sucks so hard trying to word things
#found a post earlier with. a lot of stuff that sounded very familiar. and copied it to my journal and am currently annotating it but. man#i have so many thoughts on this shit but i cant word it all bc all the memories r so hazy#i spent most of my time somewhat out of it and upset and i think i ended up with a habit of compartmentalizing bc it was well. easier.#but now it's hard to like.. remember the stuff i compartmentalized#i set it all aside and chose not to think about it bc if i did i would hurt but now its difficult to process#so like.. im trying to annotate this and add commentary and explain why it reminded me of xyz situation but i cant... access the situation#like i cant word it#i know what im thinking but i cant.. put it on paper#im trying to quote something that was said in my brain i know how it made me feel and the meaning i got from it but.. i cant quite remember#the words#i think comparmentalizing was also why i had so much trouble wording things then too#i couldnt access where my upset was so everything i said sounded flimsy#honestly i think thats always why i have issues with conflict... i know where/why i have that habit too#its easier to seperate the stuff that hurts and the stuff that doesnt than to face it all head on and as one#bc then i only have to face the stuff that hurts while its hurting#anyway im talking too much oops
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