#i couldn't write him for months after SL help

[angeart]

Also it’s been since around june when you updated Help Me To Breathe, so I was wondering if you were done with it? Completely fine if you are :D

noooo i'm not done with hmtb!! it's just taking forever, i know, i'm sorry 😭 it's not abandoned or discontinued or anything. it'll be updated eventually. but it'll probably still take a while.

[mingsolo]

pause + play

wonwoo x reader (f) / g: meet cute, 90s au, fluff, strangers to lovers / wc: 4k / warnings: cursing, some nipple action, mingyu being a sl*t, / r: nc17

written for Now, That's 90s! collab, hosted by @beomcoups and I! ngI struggled not because I couldn't write this one, but because life is kicking my ass and I couldn't find the time to really sit and think through it... anyways it turned out pretty cute please read if you can <3

A drop of sweat rolled down from your forehead, you blew some air to your face but of course it was hot and it made you dizzy. “Is this thing even on?.” you shouted from the other corner of the shop, to your co-worker, Mingyu.

You stood under the AC trying to feel if there was actually cool air coming from it but you couldn’t feel but a weak wave of hot air over you. 

“Yeah, that thing is better off.” Mingyu shouted back, where he was lining up tapes in the kids section. “By the way, could you help me check the return box? There’s some tapes missing here, they should be there.” 

You waved out, going to the returns box at the entrance of the store. A few tapes were in, three Toy Story 2, one Tarzan and a copy of 10 Things I Hate About You along with two Armageddon at the bottom. You placed the movies on the counter as Mingyu was approaching you. “We need to rewind them first, all of them!” You say inspecting the tapes, “Geez, why do they never do it?.” 

Mingyu laughs and shakes his head. “The sign even says “Please” on it, right?.” He taps the hardcover of the vhs box, where “Please rewind before returning” signs reads on it.

“And it's so hot to be in the rewind room!.” you nag once more, taking the tapes with both arms and dragging your feet to the back of the store and rewind the tapes before someone comes looking for them. Mingyu returns to his previous spot on the kids section, not without laughing at you first. 

Despite the whole minute that it took you to get there, you are now placing the tapes into the machine, leaving the door open so some of the air could get in, the small and dark room feels suffocating just by being two steps inside it. In the speakers of the store, the faint sound of Genie In a Bottle plays on and you start humming, partly because you have the song stuck in your head thanks to Mingyu playing the cd over and over when he is on shift, and because it somehow helps the task be a little less tedious.

While on it, you hear the bells ringing meaning a customer has come to the store. You peek out to see a familiar tall figure enter, waving his way in walking directly towards the back where Mingyu was at the kids section.

“Hey!” you heard the guy saying until he disappeared from your line of sight. You tried to peek out more but it won’t be possible without you stepping out of the room, so you hurried up the process to get another glance before he’s out.

In the month you have been working there, you have seen this guy come in at least once a week. You were sure he was Mingyu’s friend as he always walked directly towards him or looked for him especially after picking up some tapes. The past times he had come with you on shift without Mingyu, you had the bad luck of always doing something like rewinding tapes or in the bathroom, never getting the chance to even greet him when he entered the store.

One thing for sure, he was cute as hell. Cat like eyes and thin defined lips, huge black frames on his face, making it look smaller. And you noticed only by getting little glimpses of him, as he was always in a rush or something, never staying more than five minutes. You thought of asking Mingyu who he was but decided not to as you were still new in the store and even if you liked and had fun working with him, Mingyu has proven to be the teasing type, and he wouldn’t let you work in peace if you dare asking him about this other guy.

Just as you were cursing at Armageddon for rewinding so slowly, you heard them saying goodbyes and the chiming doorbell announcing he was out. 

With a sigh you rolled your eyes and finished your task without hurry, hoping the cat boy would come back soon and you were luckily enough to be on the counter to greet him. 

.

.

.

Today was a Monday, and the week promised to be a quiet one. Not many new releases came to the store yet so customers wandered a little bit before getting out, or just asking when would you stock Sleepy Hollow or why you had so few copies of The Sixth Sense. You tried your best to give every customer a smile at the beginning but after a month of getting the same questions over and over, you just shrugged and advised people to come back later, and maybe the previous customer had brought it back by then. 

Mingyu was way better with customers, both girls and guys. ‘I’ll get it ready and rewinded this afternoon for you’ he said with a wink to a middle aged lady, who shamelessly smiled and flirted with him while her kid smudged chocolate from the bar he was eating on a copy of Inspector Gadget.

“Great, now I have to clean that.” you glared at Mingyu as he saved the piece of paper with the woman’s number on his back pocket once she and the chocolate kid were gone. “I swear to God I’ve seen her come in with her husband.” you arch your eyebrows at him. 

“That doesn’t seem like a me problem.” He shot gun fingers at you and got back to his task on the counter, where a few other ladies waited for him.

You chuckled and started spraying windex on Mathew Broderick’s face covered in chocolate, laughing at how Mingyu flirted shamelessly with every single one of them, all at once, but they didn’t seem to mind. 

Once good ol’ Mathew’s face was clean you left the tape back on the shelf, when you heard the bell ring. “Y/n, can you help?” Mingyu hurried to tell you, he was now surrounded by the women as he showed them a copy of Between Your Legs animatedly. “This one is from our exclusive foreign section, so exotic! And the plot is fascinating…” He looked at the ceiling and the ladies followed.

You shook your head and got up from where you were squatting, seeing the tall figure of cat-boy coming through the door. He looked at the commotion on the counter and figured out Mingyu was busy at the moment. He hesitated for a second before turning back ready to head out when you sprinted towards him, shouting “HI!! WELCOME IN!” maybe a little too enthusiastically. 

“H-hi,” he said back, a little startled by your shouting. Mingyu also looked up to you for a moment, but he was quickly back to answering curious questions from his little fan club. “Uhm, I’ll be back later when-”

“No! Please, I know Mingyu usually helps you out but please tell me what can I do for you?,” you smiled with pressed lips and your voice two tones higher than how you usually speak, but you couldn’t help it. Seeing him in front of you confirmed your suspicions, he was stupidly handsome, freakingly hot even behind those thick square glasses. His hoodie smells like coffee and the cap he was wearing backwards made the earring on his left ear seem more dangly. 

“I really would prefer to wait for Mingyu…” 

“Nonsense!” you guided him towards a free counter next to where Mingyu and his harem were discussing Between Your Legs, quickly putting some space between you two before you would get inappropriately close and start sniffing his sweater, your eyes shining brightly as you spotted cat hairs on them. 

God he is so hot for a nerd!!!

“So, what can I do for you today, I’m Y/n by the way,” you smiled again and you could swear you creeped him out by the way he started sweating. It was hot as hell inside but still, his ears turned red and the tapes he was carrying under his arm were starting to slip from his grip. He quickly put them in the pocket of his hoodie, smiling awkwardly and glancing at Mingyu behind his frames. 

You glanced at Mingyu too, who began chuckling, losing for a moment his track on the plot of the movie he was explaining. 

“Are you going to return those?” you extended your hand but he stood still, tapes still packed into his hoodie. “No?,” you asked again. He opened his mouth briefly but smacked his lips loudly looking at the ceiling. 

He looked at Mingyu and his expression changed from mortified to annoyed. He bit his cheek and took a deep breath before taking out the tapes and laying them one on top of another before you. 

Night of the Giving Head, A Beautiful Behind, Yank my Doodle! It's a Dandy!, and Throbin Hood laid on the counter before you.

There was a few seconds of silence, only broken up by Mingyu’s suppressed wheeze. You cleared your throat lightly, taking the tapes and checking if they were rewinded. “Oh a rewinder, that’s unusual!” you chuckled dryly not really knowing how to break the wall of ice that suddenly appeared in front of you.

“I didn’t watch them,” He cleared his throat, avoiding eye contact. “That’s why they are- anyway.” He sighed and stopped, releasing it seemed like he was making up excuses for not one in particular. 

“You don’t have to explain,” You tried to sound friendly and not make a big deal, but you had so many questions and this selection was the last thing you expected to see him with. “We are a judging free video store,” the words coming out mechanically as you remembered the training video Mingyu played for you once on your first day.

“Yeah…It’s not… Can we please get this over with quickly?,” He returned to his mortified expression and you nodded quickly annotating the returns on the logbook. “Thanks,” He smiled awkwardly at you before tapping the counter once, glancing quickly at Mingyu one more time before sprinting out.

“He’s going to murder me, but oh god, it was worth it!”

Mingyu was now smiling ear to ear, waving goodbye to the last girl that visited the shop for the day, her phone number written on his palm. “I got no more sticky notes left,” he said before sticking his hand out to her.

“Yeah that was… I didn’t even know we had these.” you were sweeping the floors as the store was about to close, keeping yourself busy for the rest of the day still thinking about the Night of The Giving Head cover inside your mind. “Wait, he’s your friend, does he only watch porn?.” 

Mingyu laughed loudly, helping you out by taking the trash bags out of the bins and emptied them in one big plastic bag. “Maybe, why do you ask?” he arched his eyebrows at you. 

“No reason, it was just- he doesn’t look like the porn addict type.” 

Mingyu laughed louder. “Wait till I tell him you think he’s a porn addict!” He collected the dust you were sweeping onto the plastic bag, making a knot and throwing it on his shoulders. 

“Wait! Why would you tell him that?!” 

“No reason…” he smirked, walking outside to take out the trash. 

.

.

.

The next week the store got busier than usual, so Mingyu and you barely got to chat with each other about cat-boy or anything really. He had also switched shifts to train a new employee, a younger guy, probably a highschooler, who he spent most of the time in the mornings, leaving you alone to take care of the closing shift. 

Saturday came quickly, and you were alone in the shop. Lights were almost all out, and you were finishing stocking some new tapes that came that afternoon, the last task before officially closing. 

Somehow the humid air was insufferable even by night time, so you were sweating bullets over the thick fabric of your uniform shirt. You couldn’t believe they made you wear this in this hot weather, but alas, you were transpiring and melting under it. 

As you finished putting the tapes on their respective shelfs, you walked towards the bathroom where you had a spare shirt, not before turning the volume of the radio a little, you played music a lot in the shop and the customers seemed to like your taste more like Mingyu’s.

Once there, humming to Bills Bills Bills, you were looking for your spare shirt when you noticed you it wasn’t there. “What the-?” you cursed under your breath, sure you had one hanging on the stall reserved for staff. One glance at the sweaty uniform shirt you just took off and you knew you won’t be wearing that again. “Come on, I already put roll-on….” you whined. Then you remembered there were a couple of uniform shirts in the lockers, maybe too big for you but that would do for today and you will return them tomorrow. 

And so you were signing,

Can you pay my telephone bills?, 

Can you pay my automo’ bills? 

If you did, maybe we could chill…. 

When suddenly the tall figure of cat-boy appeared in front of you right by the counter. He stared. And you stared back. And his eyes stayed on your face for a a few seconds, but they quickly drifted a little down, on your lace see through bra, nonetheless.

“What the fuck?!” you shouted, sprinting towards the locker room. 

“Im sorry! I knocked, and the lights were on…. I thought…” you could hear him speak but there was a high ringing pitch in your ears that made his voice fade away as you took one of the spare uniform shirts and slipped in over your head. “The fuck you needed to wear a see through one today, huh?!” you covered your face with both palms.

“I’m sorry… I better go…”

You heard footsteps and shouted “No!” back but when you were out you could only see his back walk out the door.

You blew raspberries, feeling insufferably hot under the hot fabric of the oversized uniform shirt, that covered you like a circus carp. “Too much for our second encounter, cat-boy.” 

.

.

.

The next day you got to the store a little early, trying to catch Mingyu before he left for the day, and to your surprise, he was waiting for you.

“A nipple piercing!” 

“Good afternoon to you too!” you sighed, walking towards the locker room with Mingyu’s tail wagging at your ankles. “And how could he notice that?! It was dark!” you threw your backpack at your locker, huffing and puffing, ignoring Mingyu’s curious eyes.

“I guess he was really paying attention,” he teased. You shot him a glare and he raised his arms signaling peace. “Hey, don’t be mad that he told me, I’m his best friend and well, he actually came looking for you, how could he know you liked walking around the store naked when you were on shift alone?” 

“I-wasn’t-naked.” you slapped the locker room shut. “Wait… he came looking out for me?”

Mingyu wiggled his eyebrows in response. 

“Tell me everything, or else.”

“He likes you, duh.” Mingyu moved toward his locker, pretending to roam for something but you knew there wasn’t anything there. “He has had his eyes on you, since the first day he saw you working here.”

“But why hasn't he talked to me? He always comes in and it’s gone in a second.” 

Mingyu clicked his tongue. “He had a bad break up two years ago, and honestly he’s pretty shy, maybe that’s why we are such good friends, we balance each other…” you crossed your arms signaling he was deviating from the topic. “... So he wasn’t sure how to approach you, he has been coming here asking me to be a wingman but I refused, I was trying to encourage him so I told him you were going to be alone yesterday.”

You sighed, walking out the locker room with Mingyu behind you, ready to get off.

“Want me to tell W-”

“NOO!” you shouted, making the couple of customers in the store turn their heads at you. “Don’t tell me his name, I want him to tell me when he finally comes and talks to me.”

Mingyu chuckled and nodded, messing your head a little in sign of encouragement. “Get him, tiger. I’ll pass the note out.” He winked and you shrugged as he walked out the store.

Needless to say, all the way to the evening your stomach was swirling inside you. You jumped a little every time the doorbell chimed, and it sank back to your stomach everytime cat-boy wasn’t the one entering.

It was almost seven and you were waving goodbye to the last customer of the day before you changed the sign from open to closed, when you heard the bell one more time. 

The couple of teens walked past cat-boy as he entered the store and they walked out. You could hear loud stomps inside your chest, and you were pretty sure they were so loud he could hear them too. You looked at the mirror wall to your left, and despite being a few feet away you could spot the newest shades of red adorning your face. 

As he walked closer, you smiled shyly, spotting the same color on him too.

“Hey,” he waved so tiny that you felt like your body was becoming butter, cause despite standing up, you felt melted, all over the floor. 

“Hi,” you replied back, not knowing what to say really. Dissociating a little from the awkwardness you focused on him. All of him. His fluffy hair, not hiding under a cap this time. The black thick frames. He was wearing a black sweater, a turtle neck one. Few noticeable white hairs on it. You remembered marshmallow, your cat, and smiled without noticing. 

“Y/n,?” you heard his voice crack, noticing you smiling.

“Sorry! Seeing the cat hair on your sweater reminded me of mine.”

“You have cats?” his eyes became a little bigger. “Me too!”

“Yeah.. I can tell by the cat hair,” you chuckled.

“Right…” he scratched the back of his head. “Well I have a couple.. A few.” 

“I love cats! I only have marshmallow because my landlord doesn’t let me have more, but one day I will!” you were glad you mentioned the cat hair cause this gave you a shot to talk more comfortably. “By the way, did Mingyu tell you my name?”

“I asked him, the first day I saw you here working.”

“Not fair, I didn't let him tell me yours.”

“Huh?” He arched his eyebrows, puzzled. 

“He told me you came looking for me yesterday… Sorry you find me like that, I swear I don’t usually walk around naked when I’m alone here…”

He laughed. “Mingyu told me you probably did.”

You scoffed. “He’s the whore not I.” 

“Can’t defend him from that,” He lowered his head a little, “Sorry I told him about your… well I was frantic after seeing you like that and ran straight to his dorm, I was too shocked I guess, I wasn’t trying to be a creep.”

“And what about the pornos? Night of the Giving Head, seriously?” 

“That was Mingyu! He dropped them at my dorm the night before telling me I should distract myself from being a coward and not talk to you…” He speaked fast and you were trying to follow up. “I swear I didn’t watched them, I tried, but they were too tacky”

“There’s tasteful porn?” you laughed.

“There should be… somewhere” he laughed back. 

“Bet the bastard wanted you to return them so I could catch you myself!” 

“He a hundred percent did.” 

There was a moment of silence after the laugh, and you felt like staring at the floor because looking at him was becoming addicting too quickly. 

“Want me to help you close? I want you to walk out with me for a while, maybe get some coffee?” He suddenly speaks, and you snap out of the mental image of you two sitting on your couch, a few cats around. 

“Uh- well I just need to take out the trash and I’m ready, I- would love that,” He smiles from ear to ear and stands straight, making you notice he’s like, really really tall. 

“I’ll help you with that, be ready when I come back!” He sprinted towards the entrance where the two plastic bags laid one beside the other and took them out. You run towards the bathroom as soon as he’s out, changing your ugly uniform shirt into your spare one, feeling relieved when you notice is there this time. After putting roll on, combing your hair a little and putting some perfume you walk out, finding him waiting for you near the entrance.

He asks if he can wash his hands and once that’s done you close up, and you start walking beside him to nowhere in particular. 

You suggest walking to your recent favorite spot, a part cafe, part flower shop near your apartment. Walking there you talk about your studies, the tedious but fun times at the video store, his job at the library (he was such a nerd!), his and your cat, about everything and nothing in particular, and time just flew by so quickly.

“This is so nice, I didn’t even notice the hour!” you say checking the casio watch on your wrist. And he does the same. 

“Let me walk you home, I would feel bad by letting you take a cab at this hour.”

“It’s not far away…” you object but he insists. “Fine, but just by the door, what if you are indeed a creep or something!” He pouts and gives you the stink eye. You laughed, delighted how quickly you became comfortable with each other.

Once at your door you ask him to give you his palm. “I learned this trick from our dear Gyu,” you say, taking out a sharpie pen from your backpack and writing your number on his palm. “There, call me as soon as you get home, I’m not done talking to you.”

You thanked him for the coffee and sprinted towards your complex door without letting him say anything else. 

A quarter to eleven, your phone starts ringing. 

Grabbing the cordless phone from its base and throwing yourself over your bed you answer. “Hello?,” 

“I was about to tell you my name and ask you on a proper date,” you heard his shaky voice from the other line. He must have literally run or sprinted towards his own apartment. “But you ran away.” 

You smiled, twirling your hair, eyes closed remembering every moment since you closed the video store a few hours ago.

“Y/n?,” 

“Not yet cat-boy, I want you to tell me only after you first kiss me.” A few moments of silence before he speaks again, you can’t see him but you know he’s smiling too.

“Deal, then I won’t be cat-boy much longer.”

@mingsolo please don't repost/translate to any sites.

[summerwritesfics]

🏢I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End, Chapter 1 - But In The Morning, It Might Just Change

Pairing: Rain/Kuai Liang Length: 5483 Words Rating: Explicit 🔞 Warnings: Neighbours AU, Modern AU, Friends With Benefits, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Medical Procedures, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Past Cheating, Cockblocking, Eventual Smut, Is it slowburn if the sex is fast but the emotions are slow?, Minor Tanleena, Anxiety, NGL like 70% of this fic is me cockblocking Rain lol

I Wanna, I Wanna Stay ‘Til The End Masterlist

Notes: Once upon a time, Summer had a rarepair that made no sense to anyone but them and they went “fuck it” and decided to make it everyone else’s problem. Again, I wrote this back in like December as some weird self indulgence, because I literally kept daydreaming about it so started writing stuff down. I actually have chapter 2 mostly written out too but that’s gonna wait to be finished until after October so lmao. Fic will mostly be kinda light hearted, but both Rain and Kuai have pretty rough pasts and while I do not intend to explicitly write that past, they will think and talk about them eventually. I will put warnings in the chapter notes if any of those darker subjects do come up :) (Why Do I always go with modern au’s for my rarepairs, wtf is that all about?) Fic title is from “Heavenly” by Pale Waves and chapter 1’s title is from “Television Romance” by Pale Waves, because once again, I am clearly going through something here lol. There’s some very vague hints towards past domestic abuse in this chapter, as well as a direct reference to past infidelity.

Rain finished pouring his coffee, turning around to survey his new surroundings.

It wasn't the biggest apartment in the world, and it definitely wasn't the best looking, given the majority of his furniture was brought last minute from a thrift store. But it was all his. He had worked his ass off, saved up his money for the deposit, made sure he's be able to pay the rent and bills every month. He hadn't needed a penny from his father, unlike his brothers. He had done this on his own.

He was so proud of himself, even if no one else was.

If only mom could see me.

He shook his head. He hadn't even known his mother, she'd died when he was an infant. Yet he often wondered what his life would have been like had she lived. If he's not been forced to live with his dismissive father, Rain a symbol of his infidelity that needed to be swept under the rug.

He shook his head. That didn't matter any more. What mattered was the future and how now he's made such progress he wasn't going to let anything stop him.

First however, he needed to finish his coffee and then get to work. All of this wouldn't pay for itself after all.

He drank it as quickly as he could, did a quick double check to make sure he'd got everything and he hadn't accidentally left anything on. Satisfied he grabbed his keys and headed to the door. He locked up and went down the corridor. As he got to the stairwell, he headed to the elevator.

There was another man standing outside waiting for it to come, though even as Rain approached he didn't acknowledge him. As Rain stood next to him, he couldn't help but take a curious peak at him. He was asian, looked a little older than him but shorter by quite a few inches, short black hair, blue eyes and a trim beard. He had a large and striking scar on the one side of his face. He was wearing a blue jacket with a fluffy white fur trim.

The more he stared, the more he felt something stirring in him. This man was undeniably gorgeous and the more Rain observed him, the more details jumped out to him. Rain sure wouldn't mind having a man like that on his arm.

The man's eyes flicked over to him, and he looked quite startled. Rain couldn't blame him, he had been staring rather intently.

"Ah, good morning," he awkwardly greeted, hoping it would stem some of the creepiness.

"Good morning," the man returned, smiling and nodding his head slightly.

"So... Do you live here?" Rain realised how absolutely weird he was coming across. He wasn't normally this awkward when it came to people he found attractive, why was this man so different?

"Um. Yes?" The man said wearily, raising an eyebrow. Rain grimaced realising once again that could be quite an ominous seeming question. "Do you?"

"Yeah, I uh, just moved in over the weekend," Rain informed him, hoping maybe that would stem any potentially menacing vibes and make it seem more like he was anxious about meeting his new neighbours.

The man seemed to relax at this a bit, as he asked "ah, number 33?"

"That's right." Rain scratched the back of his head. "Guess you noticed the movers."

"I did." The man looked over his shoulder towards the corridor. "I'm in 34, so it was hard to not notice."

"34? So, you live in the apartment opposite then?" He asked, trying to not feel as giddy about a hot guy living across the way from him as he did. The man nodded. "I'm Ranjit, but everyone calls me Rain."

"Kuai Liang," was the reply he got, followed by him reaching his hand out. Rain took it and shook without question.

Seconds later, the elevator rang out and the doors opened. Rain gestured for Kuai to go first, seeing as he'd been waiting longer. He got an appreciative smile. Rain couldn't help but look down slightly as he followed behind. Kuai's trousers were fairly tight, and along with the rest of him, he had a really quite nice ass too. He made sure not to look too long however, nothing like introducing yourself to your neighbour and then completely alienating him by acting like a horny teenager.

Kuai clicked the button for the 1st floor, standing back as the door closed behind them. Rain got this far he might as well continue with the small talk.

"So, how long have you lived here?" Rain asked, leaning against the wall.

"About 3 years," Kuai stated, fiddling with the zipper of his jacket. "It's a nice enough place, no one really causes any problems."

"Good to know." It was a relief. Before this he'd lived with his friends, Mileena and Tanya, for years and to say they had troublesome neighbours was an understatement. "Do you live with anyone?" Rain couldn't see a ring on Kuai's fingers but that didn't mean he didn't have someone.

"No, no it's just me," he confirmed, shyly pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. "What about you?"

"Just me as well," Rain said with a grin. "First time living without room mates."

"That's nice," Kuai said softly but genuinely. "It's strange to get used to, but it's nice to just have your own space, y'know?" He stopped fiddling and just stared down for a minute. "A bit lonely, sometimes, but..."

Kuai never finished his sentenced, just stared down with a frown on his face. There was something odd about that, but Rain had a feeling whatever was causing such a wistful look was off limits, at least for now.

"Well, at least I have a nice neighbour to keep me company," he tried instead, trying not to laugh at the way Kuai's head snapped up.

He stammered slightly, a light blush coming over his cheeks. He finally settled on a small smile that somehow managed to make him look even shyer, and a whisper of "I guess you do, yes."

The elevator doors slid open, and Rain yet again let Kuai go first, trying to not let his eyes linger on that perfect ass too long. As they reached the front door, Kuai pushed it open, this time letting Rain go first.

"Well," Kuai sighed as he stepped out himself, letting the door lock behind him. "I'm off that way." Kuai pointed in the opposite direction from where Rain was going to have to go for work.

"Ah, well, this is where I'll have to leave you for now then," Rain tried to not sound too disappointed. "Hopefully I'll catch you later."

"Hopefully," Kuai agreed, "until then."

Both men turned away and went their separate ways. Rain couldn't help glancing over his shoulder, taking one last look at Kuai's ass as he walked away.

I have got to fuck him.

He sighed, looking straight and continuing his walk to work. If there was any time he wanted his life to devolve into a romantic comedy, it was right now.

"So, is everything to your liking?"

Kuai no longer had his coat on and could no longer play with the zipper, instead playing with the hem of his t-shirt instead. His eyes were fixed on Hanzo across the table as he read through Kuai's latest article.

He had no idea why this still made him nervous. He'd been doing this for years, he'd known Hanzo for years, both socially and professionally. The man had very rarely requested changes.

So why were his hands shaking so much?

"This all looks good, like always," Hanzo replied with a smile. "I'm sure my editors will do some nitpicking like always but there are no major re-writes needed." He put the papers down. "I'll have Ayame send the rest of your paycheck." Hanzo reached for his phone to call her.

Kuai let himself breathe again. Freelance magazine articles weren't really his main income, but the extra money between novels certainly didn't hurt. He didn't even really need to keep working or writing, he could probably live off the money he got from royalties, but he liked keeping himself busy.

"So, how are things?" Hanzo's voice cut through his thoughts and made him jump slightly. The other mans brow saw drawn together. "We didn't really get to talk last time you were here."

"Fine," Kuai tried, desperately trying to maintain eye contact so Hanzo might think he was telling the truth. Still the intensity with which Hanzo stared at him was a little too much. Hanzo was an intense person in general, and sometimes talking to him felt like being in a burning room, inhaling smoke and ash.

"Kuai Liang," Hanzo said quietly, his features softening but that fire was still burning away in his eyes. "I know you don't like to talk about these things, but if you're struggling-"

"It's not- I'm not struggling, not really." Kuai bit his lip, hard enough that he could feel it ache. "Things have been actually kind of okay lately. Anxiety aside." He bunched up the hem of his shirt, trying to find anything to keep himself distracted while he had this conversation. "I'm almost finished the first draft of my next book. Johnny is looking to turn another of my books into a film. I have this. Things are... things are good."

"You know your work isn't what I'm talking about." Kuai winced because yes, he did know that.

"I know," he said lowly, rubbing the back of his head slightly. "I really am okay though. Doctor says I may need another surgery but he's happy with how I've healed from the last one. I'm leaving the house more, I don't feel as trapped..." He paused desperately trying to think of something else that might provide evidence things were improving. His mind went back to that morning in the elevator and the man who seemed extremely eager to talk to him. "Oh! I have a new neighbour and I actually talked to him this morning!"

Hanzo blinked a few times, "you begun a conversation with a stranger?"

"I- Well," Kuai stuttered, before giving Hanzo a sheepish grin. "Technically he started the conversation." It was a start though, at least in Kuai's mind. There was a time where he'd have just completely ignored the conversation. Granted it would have been more out of fear for the consequences should a certain someone catch him, but that was a whole other barrel of issues. "He was a bit... awkward."

"No offence Kuai, but that's a bit rich coming from you," Hanzo teased, thankfully all that intense worry disappearing. It seemed Kuai had said enough to convince Hanzo he was okay.

"I'm not awkward, I'm anxious, it's two completely different issues," Kuai dismissed with a wave of his hand. "He seems nice though, so hopefully he won't be a problem neighbour."

"Well, if he ever does become a problem, I'll sort him out." The declaration wasn't an unusual one, but still caught Kuai off guard slightly.

"You sound like you're intending to beat the shit out of him," Kuai exclaimed with a snort.

"No," Hanzo said in a tone that indicated that's exactly what he was intending. "Well, only if I have to."

"You know when Bi-Han asked you to look after me, I'm pretty sure beating the shit out of people who upset me wasn't what he had in mind." It was strange, how seriously Hanzo took a promise from so many years ago. But Hanzo and Bi-Han had been best friends, and maybe after Bi-Han's death, this was the one thing he felt he could do for his late friend.

"Really? The amount of people he beat up for you?"

Kuai paused at that, before grimacing "yeah in retrospect that's probably exactly what he meant."

Maybe it was better that Bi-Han wasn't around for Kuai's divorce and the subsequent criminal trial. Kuai's ex would have been dead the second the details of their relationship entered his ears. But then, maybe if his brother had been there, things would have never gotten to the point they had.

Kuai didn't really want to think about that right now though.

"Anyway, I'm sure you have work to do, and I have a few things I need to do while I'm out," Kuai announced, thankful that Hanzo didn't seem offended by the fact he was standing up and putting his coat on. "We should probably meet outside of a work environment at some time, right?"

"There's that film wrap-up party Johnny's throwing at the end of the month," Hanzo mentioned, "but I would like to see you before then." He paused and walked around the desk, placing a hand on Kuai's bicep. "I do worry about you, you know."

"I know." The only reason Kuai didn't try to fight that fact was that everyone who knew him had expressed worry for him. And in their defence it wasn't completely unfounded, given everything that had happened to him over his 40 years of life. "There's that new coffee shop opened up in town, if that interests you?"

"Sounds good to me." Hanzo lent in to give Kuai a hug, he returned it, maybe clinging a little too tightly. "I'll let you know when I'm free." They separated, and Hanzo added, "take care of yourself."

"You too," Kuai said. Hanzo may worry about him, but that gave Kuai free pass to worry for Hanzo too. "Say hi to Kenshi and Takeda for me!"

"Will do."

And with that Kuai grabbed his bag, and with a short wave turned to leave the office. He held his breath, right up until he left the building. Once out in the fresh air he let it out, breathing deeply.

Okay, okay, task one done. Task two, check in with my agent and make sure there's no deadlines I'm at risk of missing.

He nodded to himself, and set out in the direction he needed to go in.

Rain grunted as he jiggled the key in the lock. No matter what he did, the door just wouldn't open. He begun swearing under his breath, as he tried to get the damned thing to unlock.

"So as fun as it is to watch you struggle, are we gonna get to see your apartment any time soon?" Mileena asked, leaning against the wall as she watched him. Tanya snickered at her girlfriends comment. He wanted to show them his new space, but that was hard unless he could get inside the building.

"I'm trying, there must be a trick to this door that I don't know about." He furiously twisted but stopped for fear the key would break in the lock. He slammed his palm against the door, "god fucking dammit."

"Uh, there is a trick to the door, actually," another voice interrupted from the other side of him. Standing next to him was Kuai Liang, looking at him with a somewhat amused smile on his face.

Rain moved aside slightly, ignoring the strange looks Mileena and Tanya were giving. Kuai took the key in one hand and the other under the handle. He lifted the handle up slightly, while twisting the key. The lock clicked and the door swung open.

"It takes some getting used to," Kuai explained, removing the key from the lock and handing it to Rain. "After a while it just sort of becomes second nature."

"I see. Well thank you," Rain said, watching as Kuai held the door open for him and his friends. As they entered, Mileena gave Rain a rather expectant look and Rain knew what she wanted. "Oh, yeah, uh, this is my neighbour, Kuai Liang, and these are my friends, Mileena and Tanya."

"It's nice to meet you," Kuai softly greeted, closing the door behind him and bowing his head slightly.

"Ah, you too," Mileena said with a wave of her hand. As Rain went to hit the button for the elevator, she added "we promise we're just here to be quietly nosey around Rain's apartment, we're not gonna have a crazy party or anything."

"You realise saying that makes it sound like we're totally about to have a crazy party, right?" Tanya stated. Rain hissed but looking at Kuai he seemed to realise they were joking.

"Sooo, did you have a good day?" Rain tried to move away from whatever his friend's were talking about. Kuai's head snapped to him, as did Mileena and Tanya's.

"It was good, thank you for asking," he replied. Rain ignored the knowing look paired with a dark smirk that Tanya was now giving him. "How was yours?"

"Good. I mean I was at work so it was boring, but other than that good."

The elevator doors opened, and Rain made his way in, the others piling in behind him. Kuai hit the button for their floor before standing against the wall.

Tanya cleared her throat slightly, "so, Kuai Liang?" Kuai looked to her and Rain was suddenly dreading what she was about to say. "Sorry if this is rude to ask, but, how old are you?"

How Rain managed to stop himself from making a strangled sound, he wasn't sure. Earlier in the day he's decided Kuai was older than him, but he wouldn't dare just ask him like that.

Kuai for his part, chuckled nervously and said "I'm 40, why do you ask?"

That surprised him. Rain was 34, and he thought Kuai would be 36 at most. He had a very young face, he’d clearly aged extremely well. Yet somehow knowing he was older than he looked somehow made Kuai more attractive to him.

"Just curious," Tanya spoke innocently, a small smile. Rain knew what she was doing, fishing for info for him. Dammit. "Is there a Mrs. Kuai Liang then?"

Kuai blinked a few times, face going rather red and making the most nervous sound Rain had ever heard a human being make.

"No. I don't have a partner." And that reply gave Rain two points of interest. One was he was single, thus it was totally fair game for Rain to pursue him. The second was the use of the term partner. Granted it wasn't a confirmation he was gay, but it was ambiguous enough compared to Tanya's use of "Mrs" that it gave Rain a spark of hope.

The elevator opened and Kuai looked like he was trying so hard to not just run out the doors and down the corridor to his room. Rain made note to apologise to him later. When they reached their respective doors, Kuai turned slightly, keeping his head low so to not make eye contact. Yeah, I definitely gotta make it up to him.

"I hope you all have a nice evening," Kuai said despite his clear embarrassment.

"You too," Rain called out just before Kuai managed to open his door and slip through and out of sight.

He sighed, opening his own door and holding it open for his friends. After he walked in, and he closed the door and lent against it. He stared at Mileena and Tanya, both looking at him with tilted heads.

"I am going to fuck that man so hard," he announced. A little crude, sure, but it was how he felt.

"If Tanya hasn't completely frightened him off, you mean," Mileena said with a roll of her eyes. "Babe, I love you, but the poor guy looked like he wanted the ground to swallow him whole!"

"I'll find a way to make it up to him later," Rain stated, pushing himself away from the door. "Anyway, shall we start the tour of Château Rain?"

The two girls looked at each other, before shrugging and letting Rain guide them around the apartment.

It had been a couple of hours. Kuai had no idea why he still felt so mortified.

He poured the cake batter into the cupcake tins he had prepared. He felt like he wanted to just curl up in a dark corner and cry. It had become somewhat of a ritual for him to bake when he felt like that, an idea brought forth by his therapist. It helped, having something to do with his hands often let him think about whatever had upset him more rationally.

Except there wasn't any real rational reason for why he felt like this.

It was just two questions. Two very simple questions, that in the grand scheme of things, were completely innocent.

He wasn't embarrassed by how old he was, that was just the nature of time after all and completely out of his control, so why worry about it? As for his relationship status? He wasn't particularly bothered about being single. After his experience being married, he didn't really want anything serious, and being able to focus on himself for what felt like the first time in his life was so freeing.

So why did those two questions asked together fill him with such a strange sense of despair?

He finished up putting the batter into the cupcake tins, walking it to the oven and slipping it on the middle shelf. He sighed leaning back against the counter, and staring up at the ceiling.

The only part of the questions that he could say might have upset him was the used of "Mrs" and the assumption on his sexuality. Even then it was very much a minor thing, and not something to be this troubled over.

He was about to make himself a cup of tea when there was a knock on his door. He frowned. Given he hadn't buzzed anyone up, that meant it had to be someone already in the building. It wasn't unusual for his neighbours to knock and check on him. He slowly walked away from his kitchen and towards the door.

He swung it open to find Rain stood on the other side.

He felt all that horror come back to him, even as he gave a weak "hello."

"Hi, sorry, I just wanted to apologise for Tanya," Rain went straight to it, leaning against the doorframe. "I really hope she didn't upset you with her questions, I think she was just being nosy."

It had upset him, but he didn't have the words for it, especially with someone he didn't really know. So instead he just gave an uneasy smile and said "it's okay, I know she didn't mean anything by it."

What was social protocol in this situation? Should he invite Rain in for a cup of tea? He supposed it wouldn't hurt, would it?

"I was about to make a cup of tea," Kuai blurted out, quite surprised with himself if he was honest. "If you like, you could join me?"

"If I'm not interrupting or anything," Rain said with a non-committal shrug, and Kuai's mind was screaming.

"No, not at all," Kuai said, breathing deep and trying to keep calm as he moved aside for Rain to come in.

Rain looked around the open plan room, laughing slightly "your furnitures nice, at least it all matches."

"Admittedly I like things to be coordinated." Kuai walked back to his kitchen, flicking the switch on his kettle and reaching into the cupboard to get an extra cup. "I'm one of those people who get's really annoyed when a pattern is slightly off, you know?"

Kuai looked over his shoulder, expecting to see Rain still inspecting his apartment. Instead the other man was standing off behind him, looking him up and down. He didn't seem to realise Kuai was observing him. It was strange, Kuai couldn’t understand why he would be, there had some be something next to him that Rain was looking at.

Then, a light clicked on in his head. Rain was looking at him, it was a gaze Kuai was mostly oblivious to when it came to himself, but he’d seen it when people had crushes on his friends.

He’s checking me out.

No. There was no way. He was looking at something else and Kuai was misinterpreting his actions. That had to be it.

But… What else could he be looking at?

Was this why his friend was asking if Kuai had a partner? Was Rain attracted to him? If he was... Why? Kuai was nothing special in terms of looks.

He jumped when he heard his phone go across the counter.

As he turned around, Rain was looking straight, staring at the phone with a frown on his face.

"Uh, caller ID says it's someone called Sareena," Rain informed him, and Kuai felt a little uncomfortable that he was looking at his phone.

"Ah, I'm sorry, I'd better get it," Kuai excused reaching for the phone. He ignored Rain's double take, likely over how red Kuai's face was. He hit answer. "Hello?"

"Hey Kuai, hope I'm not interrupting anything?" Sareena sounded quite chipper this evening, that was good. It probably meant she wasn't ringing about anything too serious.

"Ah, I have a new neighbour over." He glanced at Rain, who seemed to be watching with intent. "Is something up?"

"Sorry I won't keep you long, promise," Sareena's voice was apologetic, "can I have your chocolate cake recipe? Pretty please? I've tried ones I've found on the internet but it doesn't taste the same as yours."

"Hmm, I suppose I can divulge my secret's to you," he teased, remembering his own cakes in the oven. He took a quick glance, they had risen but weren't brown yet. He reached for the cook book on the counter, "I'll take a picture of it and send it over."

"Thank you so much, you are an absolute darling," Sareena squealed.

"No problem." They both hung up, Kuai flipping to the recipe in question. "Sorry about that, my sister-in-law. Sometimes she rings me about work stuff, but this time it was just a cake recipe she was after."

"I see," Rain said with a hum. "So, you have a brother then?"

Kuai flinched slightly. It was reasonable conclusion for him to come to, but it was far too early in knowing him for Kuai to go into detail about all that. His brother’s death still hurt him, even so many years later. It was so hard to talk about him.

"Had," Kuai corrected, choosing to concentrate on taking the photograph of the recipe.

"Oh. Shit. I'm sorry."

"You weren't to know," Kuai sighed, finally sending the photo to Sareena. He finally turned to Rain who was looking rather unsure what to do with himself. "Ah, I should finish that tea shouldn't I?"

Rain silently nodded, watching as Kuai put his phone back on the counter.

"I- uh. I have two brother's myself," Rain spoke up, clearly not entirely sure where to go with the conversation. "Well. Half-Brothers. Twins." Kuai was turned his back to Rain, focusing on the kettle and the tea, but he could hear Rain tapping his foot. "I don't really get along with them. One's a self righteous prick and the other is currently in prison."

Kuai finished the tea and turned to Rain with a puzzled expression. "I- that's... quite a family you have then."

"Trust me, you have no idea," Rain muttered somewhat bitterly, but accepted the tea regardless. "Thank you." He took a sip, leaning back against the counter. "So, um, can I ask you something?"

"Okay." He felt a little unsure, given that Rain had already been asking him questions, so why did he feel the need to request permission now?

"Earlier when Tanya was asked if you were in a relationship you said you didn't have a partner," he began and Kuai was already feeling a little regretful for agreeing to the question. "Was the use of the word partner for any reason?"

Kuai opened his mouth and closed it, before taking a sip of his tea. It wasn't the question he expected, but paired with Rain staring at him so intently only minutes ago, it was clear where this was going.

"I'm gay." Well he hadn't intended to put it quite so bluntly, but it was out there now. "I said partner because I'm gay."

Rain smiled at this news. A sultry smile, as he licked his lips. Kuai felt his entire face go hot. It felt like he was on fire. Was the room always this hot? Did... Did Rain always look that attractive? The other man lessened the gap between them. Kuai stopped breathing.

"I was hoping that was the answer," Rain purred leaning closer. Kuai felt a hand lace his side, and he gasped. "You're a very attractive man, Kuai Liang."

"Thank you?" Kuai squeaked out. Rain's hand was firmly on his hip. They were so close Kuai could see nothing but Rain's eyes. Oh shit, he has really fucking nice eyes. Rain's lips brushed his and Kuai shuddered. He wanted to kiss him, to see just how far Rain was willing to push this. Was he really this desperately lonely? He didn't even know Rain.

The smell of cinnamon overwhelmed him.

Cinnamon?

"Oh fuck! My cakes!" Without thinking he pulled away and rushed over to the oven and threw on an oven mitt. He pulled the cakes out and put them in top of the stove, turning the oven off as he did.

The good news was his cakes weren't burnt. The bad news was they were still looking overdone.

"Are they okay?" Rain asked, standing next to Kuai.

"They'll probably be dry, but still edible," Kuai explained with a sigh. He hadn't messed up his baking in a long time. He stared at them like maybe that would help them suddenly not be overcooked. When he finally decided that wasn't going to help, he turned to Rain and matter of factly stated "you owe me."

Rain blinked and shook is head, eyes wide. "Huh?"

"You owe me. You distracted me, thus, you owe me for these cakes." Kuai placed a hand on his hip and lent against the counter. He wasn't entirely sure what he was trying here. He believed he was attempting to flirt.

If it was what he was trying, to his surprise it actually seemed to work, as Rain had that smile on his face again. "Ah, I see." He closed the gap again, arm looping around Kuai's waist. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

Before Kuai could reply, a phone went off. Not Kuai's this time. It wasn't his ring tone. Rain backed away and pulled out a phone from his pocket. He looked frustrated and glanced up to Kuai.

"Sorry I really have to take this," he said, not sounding happy about that fact at all. Kuai just nodded as Rain turned away and answered the phone. "Hello? What do you need?" There was a pause. "Alright, I can-" He shook his head. "By tomorrow? That's a bit short notice isn't it?" He started pulling on his hair. "Yes, yes. Alright okay, I'll see what I can do. Alright, see you tomorrow. Bye."

If it wasn't a mobile phone, Kuai swore it would have been slammed down. He gulped slightly.

"Everything okay?" He chanced, feeling a little better when Rain's face softened at the sight of him.

"Yeah, it was just my boss. He's sprung a last minute report on me that has to be done by tomorrow." Kuai hoped his disappointment didn't show on his face too much. "I'm sorry, I really need to do this."

"No, it's... I understand, you need to do it," he agreed, biting his lip as it threatened to tremble.

He led Rain back to his door, sliding it open and letting the other man out into the corridor.

"Don't forget you owe me!" He called out. Rain turned to him with a sly smile, winked at him, and then like that was gone.

Kuai closed the door, resting his forehead against it after. He sighed, pushing himself away and slowly making his way to the kitchen. He stood in silence, staring at his almost ruined cakes and then the two half drunk cups of tea.

"I just flirted with him." The realisation smacked him in the face so hard he almost got whiplash. "Oh. Fuck, I just flirted with him."

He wasn't sure why, but he slowly dropped to his knees and curled up into himself. His fingers tangled in his hair as he tugged on it. He wasn't sure where his boldness had come from at all. And now it was over? He felt completely stupid. Granted, Rain clearly enjoyed it, and for whatever reason, really seemed to want to do him. But he still felt foolish.

He flopped over onto his side, laying on the floor, questioning his life choices for the evening.

≛❀≛ Next Chapter ⋟

[brokenboysfrombrokenhomes]

Everyone is asleep in the house

Wrote this on Tuesday, 24.05.22, as a comfort fic. This is canon compliant if you will (so far, nothing has contradicted it). Thank you to @rycbarmerlin for beta-reading this fic! Hope you all enjoy some of the comfort while we're still early in this SL. (it is in some ways a response to a prompt sent by @no-i-cant-decide last march: "kisses as a promise". I set out to write a short fic. Ended up with these 3k words.)

___

This is night time, everyone is asleep in the house. The lights are off, only a few strays of light from the street give shadows to the furniture in the bedroom. The shadows aren't scary. He knows it's his clothes in a pile on that chair, and frames on the dresser, and a jacket hanging off the handle of that closet.

This is night time, he is not asleep but everyone is. Lexi is in her sparkly bedroom, sound asleep after the story he told her. Callum is asleep on the couch, he saw him just minutes ago after getting a glass of water from the kitchen. All is well, all is calm and quiet.

This is night time and it's the worst time. Everyone is asleep but him. It's been going on for weeks, if not months. He's managed to catch some sleep here and there. Booze helped for a while.

But having Callum on the couch means no booze. He's willing to go nights without sleep as long as Callum is on the couch. Because if he is on the couch, he is in his life. And that's all that matters.

The divorce is through. Having no shared belongings and being married barely more than a year makes it easy and fast. Not painless but what is a bit more pain? So the divorce is through - has been for a few weeks. They signed the papers, on speaking terms.

It wasn't the case at first. When it all exploded and everyone was talking about how he cheated. Callum just left. He didn't skip town like that one time. Being a police officer makes that hard, but he made a request for housing at the police station and was given a place quickly. Divorcing puts your file on top of the list apparently.

He cut Ben out of his life, avoided him on the street, not answering his calls, nor his texts. Only allowed Lexi and Lola in his life some mornings for breakfast or an icecream on some weekends. He had the divorce papers delivered to their- Ben's place.

Then one morning, Lexi found him at the police station. She'd run away from the school in tears. She hadn't seen Ben in weeks and she was worried. Callum had called Lola then. It had been their agreement not to mention Ben. For the first time, he asked her how he's been.

 "Drinking." was her answer. 

He'd been downing bottles days and nights and until he sobered up and took care of himself, he wasn't to see Lexi. Lola admitted cutting him off from his daughter wasn't the thing to do but he'd yelled at her one too many times. Callum reassured her that an absent parent was better than a drinking and yelling one. He talked from experience.

From then on, he checked on Ben. From afar at first, and then in person, knocking on his door that Ben never answered. Callum knew he would eventually open the door because the takeaway he was leaving him was gone.

One day, he knocked. Left the takeaway on the ground. Knocked again. As per usual. But this time, he didn't leave. He sat down. He waited a long hour. The takeaway was cold but it'd still be food Ben could eat. Another half hour ticked by. He didn't get up. He'd stay there until Ben opened the door and he could see at least a glimpse of him. Knowing he was alive was one thing, seeing it with his own eyes was another.

Callum wasn't sure it really was Ben who opened the door. Maybe the shadow of Ben, but not the Ben he knew nor the one he fell in love with. Maybe a part of the Ben that he divorced. Definitely not a whole human person, living and breathing.

Ben was surprised to see him. To the point he stopped in his tracks, half away bent to retrieve the takeaway.

"Hello." was all Callum could say with a weak wave of his hand. He couldn't know for sure Ben had his hearing aid on from his sitting on the floor.

Ben took the takeaway and moved to close the door. "Wait!"

Ben stopped in his tracks, looking at Callum expectantly. Maybe waiting for his lecture.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." He smiled.

Ben nodded and closed the door.

Callum had expected anger. Had expected Ben to snap back at him with snarky remarks. The silence hurt. He hadn't been ready for that.

He kept on delivering takeaway, and kept on waiting as long as he could. On days he couldn't stay long, he left a note. "Tell me if you want something else." "The lady has been giving free deserts." "It's Italian today, I hope that's okay. The Chinese was closed today." "The Chinese is still closed, so it's Italian again." "I found a new Thai place."

Ben had cheated on him. He still felt resentment over that, and sadness from losing the human being that had helped him be himself. But the anger had left his body the minute he had seen the shadow of Ben. 

There was something seriously wrong.

Lexi deserved a dad, Lola had too much on her plate, Jay had given up and stood up for Callum in the break up. So, if no one was going to make that happen, then he would. For Lexi's sake. And for the sake of the person he once knew and loved.

"I haven't had a drink in a week." is what Ben tells him one day as he leaves.

"Okay." is what Callum replies with a smile. "The Thai okay ?"

"Wouldn't mind some basic fish n chips for once."

"Will do."

They go from small talk like this to asking about one another's day. Callum has more to say, having a job. Ben listens. He does tell Callum stuff from his days: cleaning  up a room, building up furniture left from the divorce. He doesn't mention the divorce but they both know.

One day Ben finally asks about Lexi. He doesn't need to explain he couldn't bear to have second hand news until he felt okay about seeing her in a near future. So, Callum relays to Lola how Ben has been doing and she sets up an afternoon for Lexi and Ben.

Callum hears from Lexi that Ben smiled and laughed, even. She cries in Callum's arms because it had been so long.

Ben looks slightly tired the next day. Seeing Lexi was a reminder of his fuck ups. Staying in and building up the home he was meant to share with her meant time slowed down and days blurred into one another. But seeing how she had grown, changed, even just in the weeks since Lola had stopped coming around with Lexi, had unsettled him. He needed to be a better dad, like he'd promised himself years ago. Yet, he'd failed. Big time. Once more.

Callum simply puts his hand on his shoulder to offer some comfort. Ben places his hand on top of his. It's the first time they touch in months. They stay like this for a moment. Then Callum leaves. "See you tomorrow." And Ben smiles. Weakly, but it's still a smile.

From that day on, physical touches go from a hand to the shoulder to a hug every once in a while. Just a quick hug when they say goodbye. But a hug nonetheless. Ben will take anything that Callum offers him. Small things like takeaway, bigger things like his time and his smiles. He won't ask for more, he asked for too much before. He won't do it again.

One day, he even offers Callum to come in. He offers, he doesn't ask. But Callum is already late. He just smiles and waves him away. Another day. He'll see him tomorrow.

He spends the day repainting the master bedroom. He's done the kitchen, Lexi's bedroom, the living room and the bathroom. Painting, moving furniture around until he was satisfied. The cabinets aren't all full, the windows still need curtains, and some walls look empty. But he is satisfied with what he has managed to do.

It isn't much, it's still more than he ever had. It's a home. His home. It will be Lexi's soon. It should have been earlier but he is not to dwell on the past. It has happened and he cannot change it. However, he can act differently now and that is what he is doing. Who would have thought he'd apply life advice from a sexual health clinic theparist. 

After one last coat of paint, he sets up his bed for the night in Lexi's room. He's surrounded by glitter, sparkles and pink. He chose it all for her at the store. Couldn't bear to go with her. Outings with just her aren't something he can stomach yet. For now, Lola and Lexi. Ice cream, waffles, whatever she wants. And a park. A walk.

He doesn't sleep. His hearing aid is by his phone on the floor. He cannot sleep in Lexi's bed, he's too big, so he got his inflatable mattress out. His heart had stopped for a moment when he'd seen it in the room. But he grounded himself in all the ways the room had changed. Breathed deeply. Reminded himself he was safe, alone, in his home.

He's not exactly completely calm but he is in bed, his heartbeat is within normal range, and he breathes ok. He'll get through this. He'll see Callum in the morning.

He doesn't know how he found places open in the morning to get him takeaways but he hasn't asked and he won't. Not yet. He'll tease him later.

He's woken up by the bell.

Freshly out of bed, he opens the door to the sight of a smiling Callum, takeaway in hand.

He invites him in.

They talk, laugh, smile. Like old times.

And not.

Ben's skin is ashy from not going out much. He has lost weight, although he has gained some since Callum has been bringing him food. But one meal a day isn't enough to keep a lot of meat on his bones.

He doesn't mention not sleeping at nights and Callum doesn't ask if he's seeing any medical professional. They stay away from those topics, as they stay away from anything regarding their romantic lives.

"I'm going back to work in the garage."

Callum congratulates him, again with such a soft smile.

Ben's never stopped loving him. But this softness in Callum even thought he's been through so much because of him makes Ben fall in love again, and again, and again.

"It's time I put those muscles to work!"

The laughs he gets out of Callum are what keeps him going.

So he goes to the garage. He hasn't forgotten anything but his body isn't used to it anymore. He is so tired at the end of the day that he sleeps. He sleeps as soon as his head hits the pillow.

It's not a good sleep.

He wakes up several times from nightmares. He's covered in sweat when the bell lights up and he doesn't have time to do anything about it.

He opens the door and Callum is greeted with the sight of a sweaty, sleepy Ben.

"Are you okay?" Of course he worries right away.

Ben tries to smile and hide it but he can't. He sighs, opens the door and lets Callum in.

And Callum doesn't need to be told twice. He comes in and walks up to the kitchen to get some breakfast ready. Until he remembers it's not his home anymore. Ben just shakes his head before sitting in an armchair. "Go ahead." He says, his voice barely audible to Callum and definitely not to him. He gets up again to get his hearing aid but Callum signs him to stay put, he'll get it.

And he does. He gets the bed sheets as well and starts a load with them.

As sound comes back in, Ben hears the washing machine. He turns abruptly to Callum "What have you done?"

"Just a load."

"I would have done that."

"I know. Just wanted to help. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I'm an ass."

"You are." He could flirt but he doesn't. Ben's not in any state to be flirted with.

Callum sets up the coffee filled mugs on the table along with some toasts. Ben gets up and joins him.

They talk. About sleepless nights and therapy, that's all Ben can bear to talk about. But it's a whole lot more than he could just weeks ago.

They go on like this for a few more weeks, Callum having breakfast before getting to work. Seeing Lexi after school and then having her over for a night.

It turns into a routine.

Breakfast with Callum, working in the garage, taking care of Lexi on weekdays, and then sleepless nights.

One evening, Lexi asks if Callum can come over for dinner. So Ben invites him. Callum agrees.

He shouldn't, really. Ben is clearly doing better, Lexi is happy. He can go back to his life and let Ben build his own.

But what life does he have to go back to. Evenings are spent watching his TV, mindlessly, when he's not working late on cases. His friends are coworkers, so not really his friends.

He accepts Ben's offer with a smile. It's going to be one evening. Everything will be fine. Afterall, Ben can do with company. He could do with it as well. It makes sense.

That one evening turns into a weekly habit. Turn into sleeping on the couch when it's too late to go home. It's never really too late to go home but after that one night when it truly was, the morning after with Lexi was what he'd always wanted. So he takes advantage of Lexi asking if he's staying and Ben offering the couch.

And that's where he is as Ben walks past and back to his bedroom.

He'd heard him move around in bed before getting up and getting a glass of water. He has never seen the face of one alcoholic beverage in this house. He never checked but he trusted Ben on that. His behaviour showed it in any case.

He hears him move around in bed some more. He can't sleep. They'd talked about that. Sleeping pills are on the nightstand, he knows because he's seen them. But Ben rarely ever takes them. He doesn't want one more addiction.

For all the nights he's stayed on this couch, he's never once gotten up to talk to Ben. He's wanted to. But he's always stayed away: better  for the both of them.

But Ben had been tense that evening. Leg shaking more than usual. Fingers fidgeting with everything and anything.

So Callum gets up and walks up to the bedroom door. He can hear quick, shaky breaths. He knocks softly.

Ben doesn't reply right away but when he does finally, it's with a weak grunt.

Callum takes it as an agreement for him to come in.

Ben is shaking on the bed.

Callum takes the few steps that separate them. He stands idle by the bed, wondering if he should get closer to him or not.

Ben extends a hand, so he takes it and sits down beside him.

They stay like that for a moment but the shaking doesn't stop. So Callum gently rolls Ben over on his other side.

"Is it okay to hug you?"

Ben can only nod.

He settles behind Ben and brings him close to his chest. He nestles his face in the crook of Ben's neck, breathing his smell for the first time in a long while. It's not the right moment to be thinking about that but he can't help himself.

Ben's sudden sobs shakes him out of his thoughts. He holds him closer, as close as humanly possible and lets him cry.

When the sobs start to subside, he turns around and spots some tissues. He reaches for them and gives them to Ben. He accepts them silently and blows his nose. He's still shaking and still heaving, but at least, he's no longer full on sobbing.

One hand splayed over Ben's heart, Callum presses his chest against Ben's back, and he slows down his own breathing to try and get Ben's to slow down as well.

In and out. In and out. In and out.

It takes a little while, but Ben finally calms down. Callum would stay there the entire night if it was needed.

Their breathing is slow and measured. Callum feels heavy with sleep, having been focused intensely on Ben for the past couple of hours. And he can feel Ben's close to falling asleep as well.

Neither of them talk and both of them fall asleep in that position.

They wake up as the sun rises.

Foggy with sleep, they still manage to talk.

Softly, slowly, Ben's voice tells the story of that night.

Callum lets him talk. He listens intently. His only reaction is to tighten his hold on Ben when he can feel him starting to cry again.

He touches his forehead to Ben's shoulder. "I'm sorry." is all he says. There are many more words swimming around in his head. He can imagine a handful of scenarios of what he wants to do to Lewis who's still working at the Albert. But he keeps them to himself.

He leaves one kiss on Ben's shoulder. And Ben shudders.

"I'm sorry, I didn't-."

"No, it's okay." Ben cuts him off. "More than okay... It's just been so long."

Callum leaves another kiss. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Ben chuckles, slightly moving away, feeling the shame creeping back. "You've been there plenty."

Callum's hold loosens, leaving Ben the possibility of leaving but he doesn't. He just stays further away than he's been.

Callum turns Ben's head to face him. "I promise to be there as much as you need me."

[ficwriterwastakenalt]

Would you be willing to write a part 2 to "Angel Wings and Pledges to the Crown" where we heal techno them phil, mumza, tommy, and wilbur come running to us to see what's happening the rest would be up to you

:0 COMING RIGHT UP i've been wanting to write a part two but had no ideas so thank you Hun!

Angel Wings and Pledges to the Crown P2

"I thought you said you never die," Yn said as she sat behind Techno and placed his head on their lap. Techno rolled his eyes at his wife and remarked, "I'm still alive, aren't I?" as Yn stared at the bloody mess in front of her where the three bodies lay still. "You're aboustlaty gorgeous m'lady," Technoblade said as Yn giggled and joined their hands together.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?" When Yn looked up, she saw Tommy standing there with his jaw hanging wide and his eyes staring directly into theirs. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?" Tommy exclaimed, causing Yn to frown and turn her head away. "Tommy, stop talking to my wife like that," Techno glared at his younger brother, ordering him to stop. "That's Yn?" Yn nodded as she turned to Wilbur after hearing his voice. Mumza and Philza nodded after glancing at Yn and each other.

When Yn opened her eyes after closing them, the heaviness of her wings had vanished. She then turned their head to Techno and said, "I understand if you don't want me any longer, my lord." Yn muttered as their vision was clouded by tears. Techno swiftly shook his head no, "You my love are never getting away from me" "We should get you back to the castle, dear," Yn remarked, looking up at the sky. "I prefer it here," Techno responded, grabbing hold of Yn and bringing her to his chest. "But the-" "shhhh," Techno interrupted.

---months later---

Jumping out of the huge bed because a loud bang Yn hurriedly removed her crimson nightgown and changed into a white blouse, black pants, and dark red corset. Techno was sleeping in the bed when Yn snatched his cape and wrapped it around her shoulders before sprinting out of the room and towards the bang.

As she rounded a corner, Yn reached up and snatched one of the swords off the wall. What is with all this noise, Yn Instally hit down the intruder and aimed the sword directly at their chest. Yn raised her head to an tired looking Technoblade in her view. "Why are you aiming your sword at the new cook, Yn?"  Yn turned to gaze at the guy who appeared to be shaking; he had brown hair that was fluffy and grey eyes. Yn felt like they kicked a puppy.

"I'm sorry, I heard a bang, I mistaken it for an interupter." Yn swiftly put her sword down and assisted the man in standing.

Yn nodded and the man apologised, saying, "Of course Queen Yn, my apologies; I shouldn't have been so loud in the first place" "it's alright..."  "Karl Jacobs, my lady!" Yn smiled and said, "Mr. Jacobs, it's quite alright." The cook immediately bowed once more, dashed for the kitchen. Yn rolled her shoulders and groaned. "Honey, you've been off ever since the accident in the field," Techno said. Yn bit her lip and bowed her head, saying, "of course my lord, my apologies." The marble floor started to blur.

"Shh my little godess you're ok I'm here," Yn felt arms encircle her. Yn couldn't help but sob and hug Techno."Let's get you back to sl-," "Techno. My son, we have a very important meeting to get to. Oh Yn, are you okay, dear?" "Mother, I don't think it's the time for that meeting," Techno said, as Yn pulled herself away from Techno. Mumza sighed, "Her parents want it, not us, hun."

Yn eyed the two while asking, "What meeting?" Mumza nodded as she turned to face Techno, telling him, "You have to tell her Techno...I'll leave you guys a minute." "Techno," Yn said, staring up at her husband, whose red eyes pierced into hers. "You father wants er-...heirs," Techno said with a flush, "is he here?" Techno nodded and watched as she stormed into the meeting room, flinging open the door. "Hey dear-"  Yn ignored her mother and stepped in front of her father, who appeared unfazed, saying, "You will wait till I am ready or you won't receive any at all."  "then you will be done with this marriage," Alexander glared down at Yn before grabbing her wrist, "wha-" Yn struggled to contain her tears as her father told her to pack her things and head home. "You can't make me leave," Yn said, "I can and I will young lady go pack your things NOW."

Yn eventually started crying and said, "but i-" Everything got silent after "BUT YOU WHAT YN" and "I LOVE HIM," and the only sound was Yn sobbing with her arms around her shoulders. "Come on Yn, let's go get you packed, honey," the Mumza said. Mumza led the way as Yn leaned into her, meeting Techno in the hall,  Techno paused and turned to face Yn before turning to face his mother, who was merely shaking her head. Technoblade nodded and stormed into the meeting room.

The moment Technoblade threw open the entrance, the entire castle seem to shake. Yn sobbed uncontrollably as she packed her things and even harder as she picked up something Techno had bought them. "I don't want to leave,"  Mumza quickly drew Yn into a hug and comforted her, saying, "Shh, it's ok. Techno will bring you back, I promise you."  Yn nodded into Mumza's chest.

Her father threw open Yn's door while grabbing Yn's wrist and ordering some guards to retrieve their bags. As everyone was gathered at the front door of the castle, Yn was being pulled there. She immediately stopped, causing their father to turn and stare at her. "Please just let me say goodbye," she pleaded, her voice breaking. Alexander said, "hurry up."

Even the cook Karl, who she barely knew, was hugged by her. When she turned to face Techno, he had a single tear running down his cheek. Yn hugged him tightly and let out a sniffling sound before her father interrupted her. "Goodbye my god," Yn was yanked away, the last thing she heard was "goodbye my little godess."

Yn was escorted from the palace and into a carriage, where her mother sat with her face streaked with tears and her father sat next to Eloise, leaving Yn to sit across from him. As the horse started to pull the carriage down the walkway, the carriage started to rock. Yn quickly turned around to watch the castle and her husband slowly vanishing.

[paradox-psyc-hoe-sis]

5 + 1; Bucky Barnes

(Five times Bucky Barnes almost kissed you, plus the one time that he did)

Bucky x reader, avengers x reader ,(platonic)

Warnings: a lil bit of swearing :)

Word count: 4.4 k (I'm sorry)

A/n: I LOVED WRITING THIS SO MUCH! I'm back at it again with my obsession with James Barnes, so here it is. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy it! - Aphrodite :))

(1) "C'mon James, you need to go to bed!" Bucky was sprawled out on the sofa in the Avengers common area, face pale and clammy. You had been with the avengers for a year, and Bucky was definitely the person you were closest with. You didn't know if you saw him as a brother, a best friend or even something more, but you both definitely felt connected.

"Y/n," he groaned, "I'm fine. I've survived Russian medical tests and torture, a little cold is something I can handle." He sniffed and wiped his nose on a tissue, putting it into his jumper pocket. He looked seriously in pain, his forehead sparked beads of sweat and his eyes looked tired, almost hollow.

"Firstly, it's not a cold, it's the flu." You stated, picking up a few stray tissues and throwing them into the bin a few meters away. "Secondly, if you don't go to bed now I will carry you, and God knows neither of us want that." You glared at him, expression stern with your hands on your hips.

"Good god, you're beginning to turn into Steve." He muttered, rising from the sofa. Heaving in pain, you put his arm over your shoulders and helped him to his room.

Once you got to Bucky's room, he sat on the edge of the bed. You stayed at the door, holding onto the door frame. "Right, change into your pyjamas and get comfy in bed. I'm going to the medical bay to get you some cold & flu meds, a thermometer and a glass of water. I'll be back in two secs."

Once you left, Bucky took off his jumper and sweats, to be left in a black tank top and his boxers. He flopped into bed, pulling the blanket up to his waist. You returned after a few minutes, not bothering to knock on the door. You spend more time in his room than yours, and you knew he didn't mind your presence.

Panting, you set down a small glass of water and a box of tablets, holding a small thermometer and cloth in the other hand. He looked up at you, puzzled at your breathlessness.

"Ran into Tony...on the way...had to run away...so he wouldn't ask me why...I had medicine and stuff." You took a few deep breaths and plopped onto the bed, sitting cross-legged facing Bucky. Taking the dry cloth, you gently patted at his forehead, mopping up a small bit of sweat. You continued to do this, moving a few stray pieces of hair from his face and tucking them behind his ear, until he looked a bit better. Although you were both silent, an awful lot of eye contact was held, and that was a conversation all in its self.

"Thank you, y/n." Bucky looked serious, as if there was something he really wanted to tell you. Laughing, you popped two cold & flu tablets out of a packet and placed them on the nightstand. "Jeez, don't get all soft on me now. You're not dying, Buck, I just want to make sure you're alright!" You grabbed the thermometer and held it up to his mouth. "This won't taste good, but once this is over I will definitely make you some soup. Open wide..."

Bucky smiled, shaking his head. "I have arms, y/n, I can do this mys-" you shut him up by shoving the thermometer into his mouth, laughing when he almost choked on it. As he re-adjusted the thermometer, you placed a hand on his forehead. He relaxed under your touch, closing his eyes; he was definitely burning up, his forehead was far warmer than your hands.

You took the thermometer from his mouth and brought your hand back from his head. Bucky opened his eyes, and you gave him a sigh. "Yep, you've definitely got a fever. You need to rest, I'll come and check on you soon...maybe put on a movie? Anything to distract you, really. Okay?" Bucky nodded, sitting up a bit more. You leant in and gave him a hug, and placed a kiss on his cheek. You pulled away slightly, your foreheads inches away. You leaned into his touch, his hands holding your arms, but stood up when you realised what was happening.

"I...I'll see you soon, Buck." And with that, you were gone.

(2) The clock read 6:14. The smell of marinara sauce and french cheese wandered around the avengers tower, making you grow more and more hungry by the second.

One minute. One minute, and you'd be able to stuff your face with Wanda's signature pasta. One more minute and you'd be in pasta heaven. One more minute.

You began to grow impatient, the ticking of your clock driving you insane. You paced in your room, mouth watering at the thought of the delicious dinner waiting for you. 30 seconds.

Your stomach growled like a tiger hunting it's prey. You opened your door, an even stronger whiff of Wanda's creation hitting you like a sucker punch. You turned back around to look at the clock - 5 more seconds.

It's almost time.

4 more seconds.

You couldn't wait.

3.

A month's worth of pleasure waiting for you on one plate.

2.

Anticipation bubbled inside of you.

1.

This is it.

The clock turned to 6:15, and you heard Wanada call from the floor below.

"DINNERS READY!"

Racing out of your room, you ran at the speed of light. You knew what was waiting for you, and you weren't going to waste any time getting to it.

Jogging down the stairs, you saw everybody around the kitchen, talking and laughing; you got to the 5th step from the bottom before you ankle buckled underneath you. With a yelp, you twisted and fell, trying to grab the banister for support but failing. However, you didn't fall on the floor, but fell into a pair of arms. Looking up, you saw Bucky grinning.

"You're telling me you can kill 8 Hydra agents with one bullet while fighting off three more at the same time, but when it comes to stairs you forget how to walk?" Tilting your head back in laughter, Bucky tightened his grip, holding you bridal style. Almost falling out of his arms, you threw your hands behind his neck, causing you both to laugh even more. You heard Wanda and Nat laughing with you from the kitchen, but you were only focused on Bucky. After you stopped laughing, you smiled widely, looking back at him.

"The sad part is, you know exactly why I was running down the stairs." He smiled back, eyes glistening. "Mhm," he nodded, rolling his eyes, "you are so desperate to see me that you couldn't help but run!"

Giving him a fake slap on the arm, you chuckled.

"I know, I know. You really want the pasta, don't you?" Nodding, Bucky shook his head. You felt relaxed in his arms, comfortable and secure. He could've put you down a few minutes ago, but you didn't mind. You looked into his eyes and he did the same thing, breath hitching in your throat. Only just realising that your face was particularly close to Bucky's, you felt his gentle breath on your cheek. You closed your eyes as he leaned in closer to you, his hair tickling the side of your face.

"What's up with the lovebirds!?" Tony exclaimed (loudly), walking into the kitchen. Both you and Bucky bolted upright, and you fell out of his arms. Hitting the floor with a smack, you landed face-up.

"Son of a BITCH, that hurt!" You yelled, Bucky rushing to help you up. You all laughed, but something inside you felt disappointed, almost unfulfilled.

(3) after dinner that night, you avoided Bucky for roughly a week. You felt embarrassed, awkward, so you kept your distance. You went down to the training room one day and checked the chart: Wednesday - Sam and Bucky's turn to use the sparring mat. You didn't mind being in the same room, as he'd be focused on training, so you were just going to use one of the machines. When you walked in, you found Bucky on the treadmill - Sam wasn't there. Luckily, Bucky hadn't noticed you yet, so you turned around and slowly walk away. Before you were fully out of the door, you heard Bucky call your name.

"Y/n!" Sighing, you turned back around and gave Bucky a tight smile. "I thought today was your turn to train with Sam?" You asked, placing the water bottle and small towel that you were carrying on one of the benches and crossing your arms, becoming conscious that you were only wearing shorts and a sports bra; it was summer, after all.

He smiled and wiped his forehead with his own towel, stepping off the machine. "Yeah, Sam didn't feel so good and had to cancel. Thought I'd come here on my own, but you're here now, right? D'you want to spar?" Your mind raced, you knew there was no getting out of this one.

"Sure thing. I train with Nat anyway and I definitely need a break from her Russian spy tricks." He laughed as you both stepped onto the training mat. "Is now a bad time to remind you that I'm trained in Russian spy tricks?" You smiled, genuinely relaxed. "Maybe not."

Not a second had gone by and you had already started sparring. You kicked him on his side, he punched you in the throat, you pushed him onto the floor, he took you with him with a swift move of his leg. You both jumped up and started all over again, even more vigorous. You went to punch him on the side of his face, but he grabbed your wrist before it met his cheek. "Try again."

With your free arm, you elbowed him above the shoulder and punched him in the nose. In retaliation, you recieved a blow to the stomach, but you were quick to push him up against the wall and lock him there with your arm against his throat. You leaned in close and whispered in his ear.

"I've been wanting to kick your ass all week."

He quickly flipped you over, and you pressed your back against the wall. He pinned your arms up above your head with one hand and held your waist with the other. You tried to kick him away, but his legs were pressed flatly against yours. He leaned in even closer.

"Yeah? Hit me with your best shot."

His words were a mix between whisper and a grunt, which sent a shiver down your spine. However, you knew his weakness. You pressed your forehead against his, and his grip weakened slightly. Just before your lips were about to touch his, you raised your leg and hit him in the crotch with your knee. He stumbled backwards, giving you the perfect opportunity to strike him in the chest. He went toppling to the side, falling heavily onto the floor. Calmly, you walked over and looked down at him.

"Is that the best you can do?"

(4) summer came and went in a flash, and before you knew it, the trees had lost their leaves and everything was a warm shade of red and orange. It was a late autumn evening and you had been reading in bed. It was far to cold for pyjamas, so you wore joggers and one of Bucky's knitted jumpers that you had stolen a few months ago, it smelled exactly like him. Turning your bedside light off, you glanced at your clock, which read 10:53. Laying down, you soon fell into sleepy doze, the sound of rain patterning against your window aiding your sleep.

You must have been asleep for almost an hour before you were woken up. Light streamed into your room from the open door in front of you, and you saw the silhouette of somebody crouched down by the side of your bed.

"Hmm?" You sat up and rubbed your eyes, adjusting to the light. The person sat next to you on your bed and you immediately knew who it was.

Bucky.

He looked a bit guilty for waking you up, but his eyes looked sorrowful and ridden with regret.

"Nightmares again?" You tiredly asked, placing a hand on Bucky's shoulder. He nodded, avoiding your gaze; his hair was pinned back into a bun, and his hands shook slightly. Usually, when Bucky had nightmares, he'd get into your bed and cuddle you, falling asleep with you by his side. However, you wanted to do something to distract him from his memories, and not just cuddle him. He stood up, about to walk to the other side of your bed before you stopped him. Rolling out from underneath the covers, you walked over to your record player and set up a vinyl. It was a record that Buck had gotten you for your birthday, 'The Best Of The 60s'. Quietly, Elvis began singing one of his ballads as you walked over to Bucky.

Placing your arms behind his neck, you gently swayed to the beat of the music. He cautiously wrapped his arms around your waist and bent down slightly, allowing you to rest your face in his neck. You couldn't be any closer; your torsos were pressed firmly against each other, arms tightly gripping to the other person. As you both rocked back forth, Bucky raised one of his arms up and placed a hand behind your head, holding you closer. You had never felt safer in your life, and you began to think about the man holding you.

When you first met, you could honestly say that you were scared of him. You weren't intimidated by him, but you were terrified that he would snap at you or hate you as soon as you met. You could've never guessed that you'd have the sort of connection that you do, but it worked out brilliantly. After growing more mature with each other, you found it easier to empathise with him. Everything that he had been through - torture, near death experiences, kidnapping, forced murder - you felt the same pain as he did.

Tightening your grip around him, you let out a few tears. You were comfortable crying around him, he never made you feel uncomfortable, yet you really didn't want to break down in this situation. But guess what? You broke down anyway.

The few drops on your cheeks became a river of tears as you thought more about Bucky. Your shoulders heaved, and Bucky noticed instantly. He knew why you were crying, he felt the same pain. He stroked your hair, warm fingertips against your scalp. He lifted your jumper up ,slightly, with his other hand and rubbed circles on the small of your back. Your skin tingled under his burning touch.

Bucky's eyes stung with tears; there was a lingering thought between you both that hung in the air, and he hated seeing you in pain. You pulled back from him, moving your arms to his shoulders. The music stopped a while ago, but you still moved to a shared rhythm. You looked down, but Bucky used his real hand to lift your chin up. His hand was large and warm, radiating heat. He cupped your cheek, and with his thumb, brushed away a few of our tears. You tilted your head into his hand, closing your eyes. In that moment, Bucky would've kissed you. He wanted to lean down and brush your lips with his, run a hand through your hair as he kissed you. Yet he saw the sleepiness in your face, and knew it wouldn't be right.

Putting both arms around your waist, he effortlessly lifted you up, and you wrapped your legs around his hips. He walked you back over to your bed and placed you underneath the soft covers, planting a kiss on your forehead. With a small smile and a 'goodnight', you were back on your own.

(5) three months later, it was almost Christmas, and the avengers had gone all out. The group always did something ridiculously extra over the holidays, and this year Tony had rented out an ice skating rink. It was only a few blocks away from the Avengers tower, so you all took one of Tony's limos down there. You wore a red turtleneck jumper, a plaid skirt and black tights, as the group arranged that the dress code was red. Bucky wore a dark red shirt + hoodie with jeans, and everybody else wore an odd combination of christmas jumpers, cardigans, tee shirts, and (in Steve's case) a red Hawaiian shirt.

In the limo was you, Bucky, Tony, Steve, Natasha, Wanda, Sam, Bruce, Vision and Clint. Everybody was invited, but many had gone home to see their family for the holidays. You all made a pretty nice group, though.

The skating rink was huge, enough to fit hundreds of people. As you all sat outside of the rink putting on your ice skates, Tony asked a very important question.

"How many of you guys can actually skate?"

Out of all 10 of you, only three could say that you've skated before.

"I can." You stated, tying up your laces.

"Same here." Replied Wanda.

"Me too." Said Sam. Everyone looked at him, amused yet puzzled.

"What!? My mom made me go with her when I was a kid, alright?" Everyone laughed, and Sam looked slightly pissed.

Once you were ready, you carefully stood up and took Bucky's arm.

"D'you want to skate with me?" You asked, entering the rink. You flawlessly made your way around the edge, Bucky slipped quite a few times. "How did you get so good at this?" He questioned, clinging onto the barrier for dear life.

"I used to go all the time with my friends, there was a cute little skating rink next to our school." You span around on the ice, landing perfectly on your feet. Bucky tried to leave the wall but fell directly onto his bottom, making you laugh harder than you ever have.

The night went on peacefully as you skated with your friends. Nat and Wanda stayed together the entire time, hand in hand, and every time you looked over at Steve he was on the floor. You and Bucky spent your time skating around the rink together, talking about anything and everything, laughing whenever you saw Steve fall over. You all decided to leave at 9pm, and 9pm seemed to be coming closer by the second. You and Bucky were the last ones left on the rink, everybody else had gone to the limo. Steve sat on the bench outside of the barrier, putting his shoes back on.

"Should we wait for you guys?" He asked, putting his skates back on the shelf.

You glanced at Bucky who had just fallen over and giggled. "Nah, we'll get a taxi."

Steve left, and Bucky got back up. "Come over here." You beckoned him to the centre of the rink where you were stood. He laughed, shaking his head. "And sign my death certificate? No thank you."

"C'mon Buck, you haven't left the barrier all night!" You skated over to him and took his hand. "I'll help you?" He sight and gave you his other hand, and you both slowly skated over to the centre of the rink. "See how easy this is?" You asked as you let go of his hands and span around on the spot. Moments after you let go of his hands, he fell backwards. You didn't realise until too late, and fell over his leg, resulting in you on top of him. You couldn't of landed worse; your legs were straddling his hips, your chests pressed up against each other, your hands on the ice either side of Bucky's head.

Laughing nervously, you gave him an awkward smile and apologised. He sat up, you now sat, facing him, oh his lap. You both thought the exact same thing - now was the perfect time to kiss. Both of you slowly leaned in, and your lips barely brushed before the lights went out. You laughed hysterically, plunged into darkness.

"Shit," Bucky exclaimed, holding onto your hand, "how are we going to get out?"

(6) not a week had gone by before the new year came around, and Pepper had planned a new years eve party. Despite it only being the same eleven of you that spent Christmas together, Pepper told you all she wanted everybody to wear suits and party dresses, so you could have a fancy new years party. It was 8:25pm when you went to the common area. Everything was different; furniture had been moved, there was a soft orange glow from the ambience lights that lit up the room, and the large windows showed the rest of the city below ((the common area looks how it did in the party scene in age of ultron)). You were the last to arrive, and you heard music playing from the common area as you walked down the stairs.

Tony had hired chefs and bartenders, and set up a photo booth in the corner of the room. Fairy lights were strung around the large room, and you heard the sound of Steve, Bucky and Sam laughing together. You wore a floor length, red glittery dress that had a cut on the side, running from the floor to the side of your thigh. Your hair was curled and gently flowed down your shoulders, almost meeting the sweetheart neckline on your dress. Your outfit was complete with a pair of red heels, and you could admit that you looked stunning.

Once you got to the bottom of the stairs, you immediately walked over to Natasha and Wanda who were at the bar. Nat wore a knee length black bodycon dress with spaghetti straps and stilettos, whereas wanda wore a dark purple tiered dress with black wedges. As soon as they saw you, both of their jaws dropped. You blushed, your cheeks matching the red lipstick you wore. "I'm overdressed, aren't I?" You asked, feeling slightly self conscious.

"No way! You look amazing!" Wanda reassured, looking you up and down.

"Wanda's not the only one thinking it." Natasha said as she pointed a finger past your shoulder. You looked behind you and saw Sam, Steve and Bucky staring at you. Steve and Sam merely gaped at your appearance, whereas Bucky grinned at you. Turning back around, you laughed with Nat and Wanda and grabbed a bottle of water from the bartender. Once you got your drink, you walked over to Bucky who was now sat alone on one of the sofas.

"Good evening, James." You spoke in a fake posh accent which made both of you laugh, and you sat down next to him. He wore an all black suit, his hair styled nicely, falling past his jaw. You began talking, but the chit chat didn't last long before Tony arrived from the kitchen.

"Tables set guys, let's eat!"

You sat next to Natasha at the rectangular dinner table, Bucky sitting across from you. Everyone ate steak and salad, and you each went around the table saying what your new years resolution would be. When it got to your turn, you were stumped.

"I don't know...I can't really think of anything." You stated, taking a sip of your glass of white wine.

"Even though we've known you for a year and a half, there's still so much that you haven't told us about yourself." Clint opined. There was a mutual agreement between the rest of the group, but Bucky stayed silent.

"Maybe your new years resolution could be to learn a language?" Sam added, taking a bite of his dinner. Bucky snickered as you turned to face Sam.

"Non penso sia davvero necessario." (I don't think that's really necessary) Everybody looked taken aback at your bilingual secrecy, except Bucky. Instead, he just smiled at you.

After dinner, everybody went back to the common area and danced. After Tony and Steve got defensive about who could dance better, they decided to host a mini dance competition. Bucky looked around, but you were nowhere to be seen. Before anybody could notice he was leaving, he snuck out of the room and down the corridor. It took him a few minutes before he saw you out on the balcony, staring up into the night sky.

"What's up?" He asked as he stepped out into the cold breeze, placing an arm around your shoulder. You tilted your head to rest on his arm, and sighed, your breath forming a little cloud of steam. "I'm just thinking about that delicious chocolate ice cream." Bucky laughed, thinking back to the ice cream everybody had for dessert. "I don't blame you, it was very nice." He spoke, voice calm and sweet.

"Hmm" you sight contently. Bucky felt the goosebumps on your arms and pulled away.

"Here." He said, taking off his blazer and handing it to you.

"Thank you, Buck." You replied, wrapping it around your cold arms.

"Wait..." He paused, looking at your face. "Mhm, you've got a bit of chocolate ice cream in the corner of your mouth!" He laughed as you wiped around the side of you lip.

"Gone?" You asked, examining your clean finger. "Nope, try again." You breathed out, swatting at your mouth again, but your finger always came back clean. "Can you get it off for me?" You asked him, and he smirked.

"Sure thing, y/n."

He leaned in close to you and crashed his lips onto yours. His lips were dry and he kissed roughly, making your soft lips turn to jelly under his. Your hands found his neck, and his your waist as you ran a few fingers through his hair. He pulled you closer, deepening your kiss, as you sighed into his mouth. You weren't quick to pull away, making sure you savour the feeling of his lips against yours. You smiled at him as he looked at you, pure admiration in his eyes.

"You don't know how fucking long I've been waiting to do that."