#i couldn't make it clear but they did get married outdoors and it did snow on them the reception is just indoors for safety

[comicbookhyperfixationtime]

Uncanny X-Men #194- Juggernaut's Back in Town

Last Issue Recap: The team fought Thunderbird's identical brother and his Hellion friends in a US base, tanked whatever remained of their superhero credibility and then proceeded to just let Thunderbird and the Hellions waltz on back to Emma Frost without any repercussions.

This cover is pretty cool, I wouldn’t say the composition is fantastic but it makes it pretty clear what this issue is going to be about (a big ol’ heavy hitter slap fight) and Rogue with Nightcrawler and Colossus’ powers is intriguing.

The issue doesn't start with a fight though, it starts with Juggernaut having a friendly conversation with the most oblivious cop in New York

Yessir, I'm sure the giant hunk of muscle wider than he is tall couldn't possibly have anything to do with the recently escaped super criminal. 10/10 polic-ing.

Juggernaut watches some news crew give exposition for new readers on him (there's plenty of convoluted backstory but all you really need to know is he's the Juggernaut, bitch) and his recent appearances in other comics (shameless plugins). They also remind us how the X-men and Spiderman (who was Juggernaut's latest foe) are Feared and Hated By the World They Have Sworn to Protect. The popularity of a Marvel character in-universe is indirectly proportional to their popularity IRL, thus why Wonderman is highly successful film star.

Cut to the X-men in the Currently-Not-Destroyed Xavier's School upstate waking up and not giving a singular fuck about one of their super criminals on the loose.

He stayed up all night watching old swashbuckler films ahhhh he's such a dork I love him! (Thirsty Sidenote: this is I think the first time Kurt has been drawn without a shirt and gloves on. In earlier issues he seemed to basically live 24/7 in his costume. Yes I noticed. Don't judge me.)

Nobody cares, that is, except for Colossus (aka Piotr Rasputin), who went from one of my favorite characters to least favorite characters when he started dating an underage Kitty Pryde until Marvel Editor in Chief Jim Shooter told them to stop (possibly the only good decisions Jim Shooter ever made). They wasted so much good himbo potential with this boy. Anyway, he's very excited for a rematch with Juggey after demolishing a few blocks with him in a post-breakup funk several issues ago. So excited he quite literally busts out of his clothes.

See, its dumbass himbo behavior like this I'd enjoy a lot more if I couldn't get the bad taste of him and Kitty out of my mouth. Screw you Claremont for ever thinking that was ok.

Wolverine comes in from his daily barefoot snow jog in purple pajamas to tell Nightcrawler to get the team ready to track down Juggernaut because blah blah its their jobs booo you spoilsport. Honestly I would have loved an issue where the X-men just stayed at home and did nothing. I find the cool-down moments in long running comic series are usually my favorite parts. Its nice to see how these characters interact with each other and live their lives when they aren't constantly in mortal peril. But the cover promised a big knockdown dragemout and so, the plot must keep plotting. (Side note: how did Wolvie even find out about the Juggernaut? Everyone else was listening to the radio but he was running outdoors. His plot sense was tingling I guess).

Since Cyclops is a married man, Storm has lost her powers and Professor X is off in Scotland doing New Mutants stuff, Kurt now has the sole leadership responsibility of the team. I've really enjoyed Kurt's run as team leader so far. He's doing his best but he's not cut out for leadership and its clear he hates every minute of it. He's an extroverted sweetheart who would rather support his friends. Its nice to see Nightcrawler get more stuff to do after barely being present for the past for story arcs. His self doubt is also a fantastic change of pace from the previous leadership dynamics, which were the team leader going "Wah wah wah I'm the leader and you have to do what I say I'm going to be a controlling little bitch," and the second in command/former leader muttering under their breath "I would be such a better leader I deserve this title more leader doesn't know what they're doing wah wah wah." It was basically a three way dick measuring contest between Cyclops, Storm and Professor X and I hated every egotistical minute of it.

Speaking of Storm, we cut to her in her home in Kenya showing some colonial douchecanoes who's boss. Storm was recently depowered by an antimutant weapon created by Forge (long story) and so has quit the team and is returning home to find inner peace or something. Being 80s Marvel Kenya is of course portrayed in a nuanced and intelligent manner- just kidding its a thatched roof bush station in the savannah and I'm pretty sure they only chose Mount Kilimanjaro because it was the only place in Africa they could name.

Also this specific Racist White Dude is using a South African slur (kaffir) in Kenya. I'd like to say the writers meant him to be a South African on vacation in Kenya but to be honest I don't think they were thinking that hard about it. If I'm wrong though and this isn't just an example of lazy writing, lmk.)

The women running bush station who Storm saves turns out to be a member of the tribe that worshipped her as a Goddess in her first appearance (because, again, Marvel is well known for their fantastic African representation /s) and falls at her feet. The implications of this are that the regional drought mentioned in previous panels is the result of Ororo joining the X-men and no longer acting as weather Goddess, which raises a whole bunch of questions about the morality of her decision to leave in the first place, as well as broader questions about the ecology of the Marvel Universe as a whole that literally superpowers were needed to keep the climate in the region stable in the first place (climate change must be hitting them hard and fast, forget the Setinels, this is the bad future y'all should be going back to stop!). Anyway, I'm sure at least some of these will be answered the next time we see her.

Back to the main storyline, Kitty and Rachel are spying on Juggernaut, who is in a bank in civies, seemingly doing ordinary, none-crime stuff.

Look at his giant butt in that tiny chair how could anybody be fooled by this?!

The stakeout is going pretty quietly until Nimrod shows up to finally do something. The panels showing him locking in on the X-men's location is pretty neat, but its giving me Deja Vu. I wonder if its because the panel is so famous I've seen it before, or if they copied some iconic imagery from something else (it is giving me Escape From New York vibes)

Rachel and Kitty evacuate the civies and regroup with the rest of the X-men as Nimrod focuses his attention on Juggernaut. He punches Juggernaut into a conveniently empty construction lot where they can beat the stuffing out of each other without the writers having to worry about civilians. Do you think construction lots cause superhero fights, or do superhero fights cause construction lots? Its a chicken-egg sort of thing I feel. The X-men show up to stick their noses in like a bunch of idiots and this is where I have to make my opinions on Nimrod known.

Nimrod is a mutant hunting cop-robot that had been introduced previously, having been pulled into the current timestream from the Days of Future Past timeline when Dr Strange reversed time to stop the spell of an evil wizard from turning Manhatten into a Hyborian Era fantasy kingdom. I personally think exchanging Fantasy AU Avengers for pink murderbot is a pretty lame deal, but what do I know. Anyway, he's spent all his time since his initial appearance living in some poor guy's basement, eating his snacks, taking up space and barely masquerading as human, much like me.

So. I'ma be honest. I don't like Nimrod. I think he looks like a stupid pink trapezoid. Also, his name is dumb. Yeah, yeah, Nimrod was a famous biblical hunter, I know, but like. This was the 80s. Bugs Bunny had been a thing for decades, "Nimrod" was already well established as an insult and honestly giving the guy that goofy-ass triangle head and Looney Toons-esque invulnerability is not helping the associations. Like, what the hell were the DoFP folks thinking?! But then again this is same Evil Future Government that decided Rachel's mutant hunter outfit should be a literal goddamn gimpsuit so I think its been well established that their real crime aren't against humanity but fashion.

He's also extremely OP in the worst way. I can't even keep track of how many powers this guy has. And you'd think that might make the fight's interesting, right, like you'll you never know what's going to happen next? No actually it makes everyfight extremely boring because I know exactly what's going to happen next, the X-men are going to attack with something and Nimrod is going to go "Nu-uh, you can't hit me I have my everything shield!" and take them out of the fight with some new weapon he pulled out of his ass. And that's exactly what happens this time. Nightcrawler and Colossus teleport into the fight? Nimrod's tracking systems immediately detect them and he blasts them unconscious. Wolverine does a fastball special?But oh no, a force field! Kitty phases through him? Not only does she not disrupt his systems, she gets knocked back by energy field!

The demonstration of Nimrod's bullshit powers is great here, but I actually wanted to post this because of Rachel's fit. Its so 80s but I kind of adore it. This nonsense continues even after Rogue absorbs Kitty, Nightcrawler and Colossus's powers in a Hail Mary. Don't get me wrong, Rogue kicks ass and its hella entertaining but Nimrod once again is on his bullshit. She punches him into a million tiny pieces and he just reforms himself! Then he teleports out of there because I guess even he knew this fight had dragged on long enough. Which is another thing I hate about Nimrod; they can never actually kill the bastard. He'll just teleport away and come back next time with even more bullshit. It'd be so cathartic if Rogue had finally just smacked him down for good but I have a feeling we'll be seeing a lot more of him in the future. The X-men let the Juggernaut go, despite him being a literal criminal, because they've been doing that a lot recently. Unfortunately for them, this time surprise news crews have been behind the fourth wall the whole time like its an episode of Impractical Jokers and now the whole world knows they didn't even try to do their job. And don't give me any "oh they were weak they knew they couldn't taken him" Juggernaut had his psionic bucket hat off and Rachel Summers was right there she could have taken him down with a single thought.

We end the comic with an ominous discussion about the X-men by two members of the Russian Security council.

You can tell its Moscow because of the picture perfect view of St Basil's which magically appears in the window. Also, how the heck am I supposed to take Eyepatch Ivanovich here seriously when he's wearing little red booty shorts?! Anyway, this certainly was an issue of X-men. It started off really fun, then it got kind of generic. Certainly not the worst or most infuriating by any means. Looking forward to next issue!

Edit: I took the comic at face value and wrote that Mount Kilimanjaro was in Kenya. Mount Kilimanjaro is actually in Tanzania, near the Kenyan border, so unless the borders have shifted since 1985, Claremont is an idiot and so am I.

[shrimpemotions]

Happy wedding day! I couldn’t resist writing something incredibly sappy for the new husbands.

i am loved, i am loved (1.6k words)

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As Dancing Queen blares from Charlie's speakers, Dean fights his way through the crowd of somehow-still-partying-at-two-AM dancers, beelining for the freakishly tall man heads above the gyrating hordes. Really, he lost focus for just a second to get some water, and he turned to find his husband had been whisked away from his side to dance again. And by his own brother, which is just the worst kind of betrayal. When he gets to them, Sam and Cas are more flailing limbs and wild laughter than any real moves (a far cry from their earlier dancing, which looked downright choreographed. Dean's convinced they went behind his back and hired someone, no matter what Sam says). Everyone around them is giving them a wide berth, which is probably the safest move, but Dean is on a mission, even if his frustration is already melting away. Heart full to bursting, he drapes himself over Cas's back and kisses his cheek.

"Hey there, sunshine. Havin' fun?'' he asks. Cas tilts his head to meet his gaze, and his already-stunning smile grows wider.

(continued under the cut)

"Hello Dean," he says warmly, and fuck, if that doesn't send Dean soaring, head right up in the clouds with no clear path down. "Are you here to dance with us?"

Dean shakes his head.

"Think I want you all to myself," he whispers in Cas's ear, delighting in the way Cas's eyes darken. It's a Herculean feat to tear his gaze away when Sam clears his throat.

"Hey, Sammy! I'm stealin' Cas," he says, and Sam pulls a spectacular bitchface.

"Y'know, he's my brother now, I think I have a right to dance with him."

"And he's my husband, so I win," Dean retorts, sticking his tongue out for good measure.

Sam sticks up his middle finger, even as his expression softens. Dean just laughs, stumbling off the dance floor with his arm around Cas. The overwhelming joy of the day has rushed to his head, which is pleasantly floaty and right on the edge of dizzy (being drunk on love, he thinks somewhat giddily, is much better than being drunk on alcohol). His throat hurts from singing, his eyes sting from crying, and his feet ache from dancing, but he doesn't think he's ever felt so happy in his entire life. He can't stop looking at Cas, at his husband, drinking in his shining eyes and wide smile. This is how Cas should look every day: blissfully happy, with all of the weight lifted from his shoulders. Dean's going to do everything he can to keep that look on Cas's face for the rest of their lives.

As the song changes to something slow and crooning, Cas releases a drawn-out yawn. Dean can't help his fond grin, and he kisses Cas's temple.

"Bedtime for handsome husbands," he says playfully (and definitely not selfishly. This has nothing to do with how badly he wants his husband's full, undivided attention). But Cas pouts, twisting in Dean's arms so that they're face to face. He stumbles a bit, nearly falls, but Dean catches him. He always will.

"One more dance," Cas says, eyes going wide, and. Well. Dean has always been weak for those eyes.

"One more dance," he agrees, gathering Cas up in his arms. 

Cas beams, somehow brighter than before, as he presses their foreheads together and winds his arms around Dean's waist. He whispers warm endearments and quiet praise inches from Dean's lips, sharing both breath and love. It's all sappy as fuck, and the Dean of before (before Cas, before this whole family they've built from the ground up) would have scoffed at it all and tried to distance himself before someone saw them. The Dean of today savors it, basks in it, and presses himself even closer. They've earned a lifetime of chick flick moments, spectators be damned (and after their vows, there's really no more soul left to bare to these people anyway).

Eventually, the song draws to a close, and another takes its place. Regretfully, Dean pulls away from the embrace, already missing it. But Cas is yawning again, and it's beyond late. They share a glance, and Cas nods: time to leave.

As they stumble out of the room, smiling and swaying into each other, Dean is entirely too wrapped up in his husband to notice much else. He misses Crowley climbing up on a table, microphone in hand, while Ash chases after him; Jo and Charlie laughing together in a corner, sketching something ominous-looking on the floor; Benny and Meg causing some sort of loud chaos by the bar; Claire and Jack teaching Emma TikTok dances at the edge of the dance floor. He will hear all these stories later, with incredible exaggeration and embellishment. For now, all he cares about is Cas.

The walk back to their room should be short, but they keep stopping, every few steps. First, it's Cas kissing Dean's cheek, a short peck that shouldn't steal Dean's breath the way it does. And Dean can't let that go unanswered, so he kisses Cas's nose in a near-taunt. Cas retaliates by pressing a line of kisses to Dean's jawline, and then Dean can't take it anymore. He pulls Cas close and kisses him soundly, with all the love that's been building and building in him since he first caught sight of Cas at their ceremony, haloed by sunlight and shining with joy. Sure, they've kissed countless times today, but it will never be enough for all the love he holds, overflowing and pouring into every action he takes. The dam he'd built to protect that love so long ago has been cracking since he first met Cas, and now not a trace of it remains. He's free. 

When they separate, the raw emotion on Cas's face is enough to take Dean's breath away. 

"I love you," Cas says, and Dean closes his eyes, takes a steadying breath. It still seizes him sometimes, the memory of that beautiful face, damp with tears, disappearing into a black nothingness. Fear wraps its cold fist around his heart, the vise worse than any attack Billie sent his way, and he grips Cas tighter, anchoring himself. Cas is still here, and nothing is going to take this away from them. They're allowed to be happy. This is real.

"I love you too," Dean whispers, and Cas's answering smile is enough to quiet any remaining fears. Their fingers entwine, and they walk on together. 

But when Dean reaches out to open their door, Cas places a gentle hand on his wrist.

"Wait," he says, head tilting. 

"Hmm?" Dean starts to ask, but then he's being swept up in a pair of strong, warm arms. He shouts (he does not shriek) and grabs onto Cas's neck. Holy shit he's still strong. "What the fuck?"

Cas's eyes glitter with amusement, and a small smirk is tugging at his lips.

"Is it not traditional to carry your spouse across the threshold?" 

Dean snorts and buries his face in Cas's neck to hide his blush.

"You callin' me your wife?" he grumbles into Cas's skin, reveling in the shivers he receives in response.

"If you truly wish to be limited by heteronormative gender roles, I will put you down. Otherwise, I am carrying my husband, who I love with all that I am, across our threshold." There's an audible smirk in Cas's voice, which is hot as hell. And, fuck, Dean's been hearing it all night, but being Cas's husband will never get old. What on earth can he say to that?

"Okay," he manages to croak out.

"Well then," Cas says, shouldering open the door, "welcome home, husband." 

Dean almost opens his mouth to protest that this hotel room isn't exactly home, but then he catches sight of Cas's smile, and that train of thought halts in its tracks. Cas is here. Right now, it is home. 

Cas, of course, is still Cas, so he takes advantage of Dean's distraction to dump him on the bed. And Dean is still Dean, so he pulls Cas down after him, both of them twisted up and laughing freely. 

"We should really sleep," Dean says halfheartedly, suppressing a yawn. His hands are still tangled in Cas's jacket.

"Mmm," and Cas kisses the corner of his mouth. When he draws back, he has one eyebrow raised, and he looks so serious it nearly sends Dean into a fit of laughter. "To be continued?"

"Tomorrow," Dean promises, because they have nothing but time, and he seals the deal with a kiss.

When they make it into the tiny bathroom, they squish in beside each other at the sink, and they giggle like giddy teenagers every time their elbows knock. They brush their teeth in near-unison, grinning every time their eyes meet in the mirror. Toothpaste drips from Dean's mouth, but he can't stop smiling, especially when Cas lifts his left hand and lets his ring catch the light. After a few seconds of breathless adoration (they're married, Cas is his husband, he married an actual angel) Dean imitates the motion. He places his hand over Cas's so their rings tap with a quiet clink. They share an awestruck look in the mirror, and Dean lets the peace of the moment wash over him. This is real, he reminds himself. We're real. And the warmth of it carries him all the way into their shared bed.

"Hey," he whispers, nose to nose with his husband, limbs tangling. 

"Hello," Cas whispers back, his amusement palpable even in the darkness. 

"We're married," Dean says wonderingly. 

"We're married," Cas echoes, voice heavy with emotion. He leans in, and kisses Dean in a way that can only be called reverent. His hands shake where they brush Dean's skin, and Dean catches them to still their quaking.

"We get to have this, Cas," he says softly, punctuating his statement with a kiss to Cas's knuckles. "For the rest of our lives."

"For far longer than that," Cas corrects. Dean breathes in, and pulls his husband close.

"Forever," he agrees, and lets himself succumb to sweet, dreamless sleep.