#i couldn't hear anything by the end of the show but it was totally worth it!

[hotspacedaddymaylor]

Hey ya'll I made a Google Drive folder of last night's Queen show in Detroit since there was just too many files to upload and I didn't feel like going through it and picking out the best ones so it all just went together into one big folder lol. 😄 First part is a couple photos taken at the Don't Stop Me Now VIP pre-show party. The guy in the sparkly jacket was our party host. I almost thought he was Adam Lambert when I walked in and I just about died lmao! 😂 Anyways bit of a trigger warning for some flashing in the one video during the opening of the show. Also please excuse the quality of some photos and the shakiness and sudden cut offs in later videos. My phone isn't the best and I ran out of storage space 3 times. 😭 Aside from that it was literally the best show ever and the guys did an amazing job!!! ❤❤❤

[nelle-y]

I loved your recent Alhaitham fic! I was wondering if you would consider writing a pt. 2 where Alhaitham regrets how he treated you and attempts to win you back (maybe 4ggravate finds out and attempts to help Alhaitham to win you back)? I understand if not. Thank you for sharing your writing!

Thank you so much for liking my first fic! Feel free to request anything genshin-related and I’ll try my best to provide!

You kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath (pt. 2)

It was rare, I was there

Here’s part 1!

Synopsis: despite the neglect and everything that happened, you both still longed for each other…

Content: Alhaitham x fem!reader, wingmen!4ggravate, implied Dehyarzad, Collei, absent Cyno, Tighnari, second chances, writer!reader, angst to comfort, reader is with someone else

Warnings: slight cursing, long intro again (I can’t help it), mild spoilers for Sumeru archon quest chapter 3 act 2, Collei goes missing

Note: this part can be optional for you. If you prefer to end it at part one, then feel free to do so! But, if you’re a sucker for second chances (like me), then consider this a treat from me to you!

—

Nothing. You could hear nothing.

Not your heart pounding to the rhythm of your feet. Not the screaming in your head as you spotted familiar grey hair walking around the city. Your thoughts immediately tasted bitter—if he had the time to walk now, how come he hadn’t back then?

You surmise that you weren’t worth the step.

The weight of his absence hung over you like a storm cloud, casting a shadow over the warmth of the day. Despite your efforts to push the pain aside, it crept back, heavy and suffocating. Your mother's words echoed in your mind like a haunting refrain, a reminder that perhaps you had been foolish to invest so much in someone who couldn't reciprocate your love.

The shops were as busy and ever; merchant services, inquiries about products, scholars out in the open. You were out for groceries, almost ashamed for showing your face after the scene you caused 15 days ago. The world needed to know you were strong, though, so you put a big smile on your face and a new perfume worth Alhaitham’s salary. You even reached out to Cyno about the book you mentioned; so far, everything has been accurate, according to him.

“Y/N?” A familiar voice called to you. Turning your head in that direction, you see Dehya in the distance waving at you. Once you’ve said hello, she looked at you with a smirk on her face, “Wow, did a flower barf on you? You look radiant!”

“Radiant?” You humble yourself, “I don’t remember putting on any jewelry.”

“No, silly!” She gestured to your everything, “There’s this aura you’re emitting and it’s making you glow!” Glow? All you did these past few days was cry, eat, and write. Perhaps it was the tears that helped. They irritated your eyes so much it gave you a softer, more approachable look. “Do you think you could lend me some of that eyeshadow?”

Try crying every hour, Dehya. “Ah, I just did a favor for a friend studying cosmetology. I’m not entirely sure what products they used,” you lie. Thinking about Alhaitham will certainly eat you alive; you change the subject despite the flattery you enjoyed. “What brings you to the city?”

Enthusiasm spouts from the mercenary, “My lady Dunyarzad invited me over for the Sabzeruz Festival; and you know me, I gotta be there for my lady!”

You found it adorable—almost enviable—how they still keep in touch even after Dehya’s resignation. Call a spade a spade, that is real commitment. It makes you wonder if you’d be here, ‘radiant’ and ‘glowing,’ if you were treated that way.

“The Sabzeruz Festival? I didn’t realize it was so close. Wow, time surely flies.” Suddenly, you feel excitement rush through your veins, a new experience after days of steady tides.

“Couldn’t agree more,” said Dehya. From a distance, you both heard Dunyarzad call her name. “Ah, it looks like she needs me back there. I better go check on her. If you want, you should totally come over the bazaar once the festival is ready. Dunyarzad and I would be lucky to have you celebrate with us!” After you gave an accepting nod and farewell, Dehya ran off to the woman in purple, practically skipping on her feet.

As you watched their lively interaction, a surge of envy and longing swept through you. Their easy camaraderie and genuine happiness a stark contrast to the emptiness and loneliness gnawing at your insides. You had longed to experience that kind of connection, to be enveloped in the warmth of love and companionship once more. But deep down, you knew it was a distant dream, a fantasy you could never reclaim.

You weren’t a religious person, but out of sheer desperation, you prayed.

Lesser Lord Kusanali, please free me from this torment. Let the flowers in my garden bloom of life, let the fruits grow ripe even without much sun, let the trees reach the highest of buildings.

—

Simple greetings and little nods, Alhaitham wouldn’t have minded if those scholars were you. In fact, instead of returning those nods and hellos, he would embrace you, lift your feet off the ground and spin you around like you always wanted.

After you stormed out the tavern, Cyno went ahead and asked what happened to the both of you. For the first time, he couldn’t give a straight answer. Every excuse seemed to damage your image, and that was the last thing he wanted. Kaveh ended up taking over to save him the embarrassment.

The 15 days he burned for you were like falling into the abyss, fighting every day to the brink of death, unable to eat the sustenance that came from your warmth.

The now Scribe Alhaitham needed something to keep you off his mind. He considered attending a meeting, but none seemed to pique his interest. Every thought ended up on your doorstep, making him think of dropping by. “Kaveh,” he called the architect scribbling on his notebook, “have you seen Y/N, as of late?”

“No, she hasn’t been feeling well these past few weeks. Shouldn’t you be in a meeting?”

“Shouldn’t you be paying rent?”

Kaveh cursed at Alhaitham, “I’m trying to make the money, goddamit!”

“Maybe you would have the money if you stopped settling for your clients’ low budgets.”

“Is it hard to find me considerate?”

“I’d rather call it pathetic.”

“Go catch whatever Y/N has,” he shooed Alhaitham away, “maybe that would give you some perspective.”

The scribe stood silent for a few seconds. He knew his roommate was right, he should’ve thought about how you felt before anything. Kaveh was about to believe he had won a squabble for once, but then he suddenly revealed, “Y/N… is angry at me.”

Kaveh pshawed at him, “With the way you talked to her? No shit.” Alhaitham didn’t move an inch. “Hey, what happened there, anyway? It wasn’t like Y/N to burst out to you like that. Are you hiding something?”

With a sigh, the grey-haired man decided to reveal everything to his roommate. He listened intently, gasping and scolding him for his lack of attention towards you, adding salt to his open wounds. Upon recalling the words the scribe had said, Kaveh took a slight breath, “You fucked up.”

“I know.”

“You need to go fix this.”

“I know.”

“And you were calling me pathetic!”

“I know! I just-“ he couldn’t believe he was saying this. “I need help.”

As he was popularly known, Alhaitham wasn’t one to ask for help. Not because he had too much pride, but because he knew how to solve things like the back of his hand. He had access to numerous files from the Akasha, and he had connections to powerful people, being the scribe and all.

But this was a different situation. Every solution did not guarantee a 100% success rate, 87% at best, and that was not enough for Alhaitham. He was ready to do anything for you, to get on his knees and raise you to the highest regard, to even beg.

“I could ask Tighnari,” Kaveh began, “The Sabzeruz Festival is coming soon, maybe you could ask her out?”

Right, now that he’s perceived as a hero of his nation, he is expected to attend these festivals. He never bothered to come before, and he wouldn’t now, but he was willing to if it meant getting to see you again. “I don’t think she’ll be accepting me as her date.”

“Then we’ll talk to her.”

“Will she be willing to listen? Wait, isn’t she sick?”

Kaveh sighed, downhearted, “Right.” Then he clicked his fingers at the scribe, “I have an idea!”

—

“Collei? What are you doing here,” you said after opening your door. She drew a small grin with worried eyes, holding a box of goods for you. It’s been a while since you saw her, she grew up well, taller since your last meeting.

“Hello, miss Y/N! I heard from Master Tighnari that you weren’t feeling well,” yes, you distinctly remember lying to them (Tighnari, and Kaveh) so they wouldn’t see you as often. “So I thought I could bring you simple remedies.” The little girl observed you. “But now I think there’s no need for that,” she chuckled.

“Ah, yeah, don’t worry, it was just a small cold. Speaking of Tighnari, how come he isn’t here with you?” You ushered her in and sat her down for some tea, placing her box of medicines on the counter.

“He had some business to attend to with a merchant and allowed me to visit you. It’s been a while since you’ve travelled to Gandharva Ville, miss Y/N, do you have any plans on visiting?”

“Yes, I’m thinking of basing the rainforest as the main setting for my new book, actually.”

You both chatted about everything you could as you waited for the water to boil. Afterwards, you served a hot teapot, dwelling in mint and lotus herbs. “Ah, Collei, how long are you and Tighnari staying in the city?”

“Just for three days, though I would like to stay until after the Sabzeruz Festival,” she chuckles, holding her now warm cup in her hands.

“You could come with me if Tighnari would allow it.”

The little girl’s eyes beamed with stars, “Really? Oh, I’ve been dreaming of going to one for ages! Miss Nilou will be performing, right?” You nod to her delight, “Yes! Archons, I really hope Master would let me.”

As if he heard his name, Tighnari knocked on your door. Opening it, he looked glad seeing your healthy state. “Y/N! Good to see you’re feeling well now.” He peaked behind you to see Collei sip from her cup.

Upon recognizing her master, Collei got up and greeted him. “Hi, Master! Miss Y/N and I were just talking about the Sabzeruz Festival, and that I could come with her to see Miss Nilou perform!” Her enthusiasm was as contagious as a cold, you couldn’t help but laugh.

“As long as it wouldn’t be a hassle for Y/N, and that you would always be careful when purchasing products,” Tighnari worries like a mother. “Always look at the expiration dates, check if there are anything you’re allergic to.”

He goes on and on for about 5 minutes until you cut him off, “Alright, alright, Tighnari, it’s not like she’ll be going all alone; she has me with her!”

With this, Collei wrapped her arms around your waist, ever so thankful for your support. You thought of her as a niece, and she thought of you as an auntie, willing to give her advice on anything, trivial or not. After a few more words exchanged, and details for the festival, the pair decide to head to their cottage.

For once, you enjoyed your time and not think of Alhaitham once!

Oops.

—

It was the day of the Sabzeruz Festival; you had already picked Collei up from their cottage and are on your way to the Grand Bazaar. You could see thousands of attendees, travelling merchants, and familiar faces on the way.

As the vibrant colors and lights of the festival unfolded before you, the once a source of excitement and anticipation now loomed before you like a daunting reminder of what you had done. Despite Dehya's invitation, you couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider, a solitary figure adrift in a sea of joyous revelry. Each smile, each laugh felt like a dagger to your already wounded heart, a painful reminder of the love you had lost and the embarrassment that now consumed you.

But this was no time for dwelling upon the memories that brought misery, remember, Collei is counting on you to give her a good time.

“Y/N, Collei!” You spot Kaveh in the distance waving and walking your way. Collei happily waved back. “I’m so glad I could run into you guys, you have no idea how terrified I am of meeting a client by accident.”

You laughed, “Do I have to accompany you, too, Kaveh?”

“Actually, I was thinking of letting you have some fun while I take care of little Collei here.” He ruffles her neatly-done hair, now messy but more natural-looking. This led Collei to bring out a small comb to fix it.

You felt irresponsible leaving Collei in someone else’s care, you’d said you would take care of her, and it felt like you would be breaking a promise if you agreed to his offer. You tuck your hair behind your ear, “I don’t know, Kaveh, something feels wrong about that, no offense. Plus, if something were to happen to Collei, we wouldn’t hear the end of it; you wouldn’t like Tighnari when he’s angry.”

“A fair point, but you’ve been locked up in your house for two weeks, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind. You deserve to be out there, butterfly, spread the wings you grew from being in that cocoon!”

That somehow felt too specific. Does he know something? Collei starts to agree, despite seeming so excited to go with you. “Even you, Collei?” You sigh, “Fine, but if something happens, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

You weren’t expecting to have so much fun here. The lights, the music, even the people were a blast! At first you were anxious for Collei, checking in from time to time, then as you continued to do so, your vists would be more spaced apart. You drank some punch with Dehya and Dunyarzad, who seemed to be doing really well for themselves, then you danced with the crowd in the name of Lesser Lord Kusanali.

After all of that, it was time for one last dance before Nilou’s grand performance. The band began to play a soft, romantic folk song. “Alright, Sumeru City,” called the lead singer, their voice sonorous with seduction, “before we settle down for the reknowned Nilou, let’s have a little treat for all the couples out there. So, grab your partner and dance along.”

Just as you were at the height of excitement, everything seemed to come crashing down again. You stood on the sidelines, feeling lost and out of place. Dehya and Dunyarzad swayed together, hand in hand. A lot of other couples came together and danced. The passion embedded in the song they sang only made you feel more alone, the walls of the Grand Bazaar growing taller and taller as you gazed upon them in longing.

You felt a hand on your shoulder, a man you don’t remember meeting. “Excuse me, miss, could I trouble you with a dance?” He looked about your age, a nice smile and an energetic demeanor. You were cautious of his intentions, though. It’s possible to have fun while maintaining a distance, right?

You accepted his invitation, all of the sudden you felt a sick knot in your stomach, like you were cheating on Alhaitham. But you weren’t together anymore, why would you stop yourself from meeting new people?

The man said his name was Hafan, a mercenary from the Corps of Thirty. He offered to buy you a drink once the dance was over, and again, you gladly accepted while the sweat in your palms said otherwise. You talked with every step you took, getting to know each other and telling stories. He made you laugh—a lot—and you impressed him with your witty comebacks. Perhaps this was the Dendro Archon’s response to your prayer? A hand to guide you through the maze, and to help you believe in love again?

But just amidst the merry atmosphere of the festival, a lingering anxiousness settled within your stomach.

Then, you saw him.

Alhaitham stood in the corner of the room, the desperate merchants and harmonizing of the band seemed to die down as time stood still. The vibrant colors faded into shades of grey as your heart clenched with a mixture of dread and longing.

It was as if a gate had opened within you, unleashing a torrent of emotions you had struggled to contain. Guilt gnawed at your conscience, regret tore your chest open, and love gave your heart to him.

As Hafan twirled you gracefully across the makeshift floor, you held your gaze with Alhaitham, your heart torn between the past and the present, between what was and what could’ve been.

Maybe you had been thinking too rashly, maybe he had changed over the course of your absence. The way he looked at you with such burning could not make you think otherwise.

In that moment, with all the crowds in the festival and the ache of your fractured heart, you knew for certain—no matter how hard you deny it, no matter how fast you tried to run, you could never escape the grasp he had on your soul.

The dance had ended, though it felt like it just started. Before Hafan could get that drink he promised, you said, “I’m sorry, Hafan.” He looked at you in confusion. “You must be looking for someone to—I don’t know—spend the rest of the festival with, and I don’t think I can fulfill that position. You’re a sweet guy, truly, I’m just not in a good place for anything right now.” Archons, you sounded ridiculous. But to your suprise, the man hardly took it personally.

“It’s okay, I get it. I had fun with you tonight, Y/N. You’re a great person to be around.” You almost regret having to end your time with him. “I’ll see you around, yeah?” He gave you a nod of farewell and left your side.

You looked in the direction of Alhaitham, again, hoping to catch that feeling of familiarity, but you had found he was no longer there. Perhaps it was your imagination.

You then searched for Collei and Kaveh, but they were nowhere to be found. They weren’t near the stalls, or in front of the stage.

They were nowhere in the bazaar.

The panic you felt shook your entire foundation, the pillars that kept you from going back home, back to the pain.

What if they had been kidnapped? You trusted Kaveh’s words, that he would take care of her, but for all you know they could be in the middle of the desert right now! What if Kaveh had run into a client and got distracted? What if Collei got injured or hospitalized?

Your heart began beating in your ears, your breath hastened with every thump. The air seemed so thin in the enclosed space, you needed to go outside. Yes, perhaps you could have a better chance at finding them out there, too.

As you walked out the doors of the Grand Bazaar, Collei’s name immediately echoed through the night. “Collei!” After numerous calls left with no answers, lumps of tears began crawling down your cheeks. “Oh my archon,” you sobbed. You could imagine the look on Tighnari’s face, the worry, the anger, the disappointment.

The feeling of losing them was clawing to your soul, like a mother bird losing her chick after their first flight. If they go missing, it was your fault. That fact will forever stain your soul, haunting your remaining days until the sweet release of death.

You sat on a curb, just near the entrance of the bazaar in hopes that the little girl and the architect would return unharmed. More tears had revealed themselves as your thoughts grew more and more intense, terrorizing, even.

The streets were so quiet, only the music from the festival and the first chirps of the crickets seemed to fill your ears, your sobs excluded. No guards or matras were present with you. Who the hell was in charge of security here!? The starry sky brought a comfortable cold instead of blazing heat.

You then heard footsteps from the bazaar and a person sitting beside you. “I walked them home,” a gruff voice sounded, “Collei was getting tired.”

Just your luck, the man who sat with you was no other than Alhaitham. Despite the conflicting emotions that came to you in a flash, you were relieved that Collei was safe. You let out a heavy breath. “Thank you,” you sniff, brushing away the tears that stained your face.

It was quiet again, for a while. You could hear Nilou’s music from outside; “Collei would’ve loved seeing Nilou dance,” you thought aloud. “I remember her basking about it when she had just became Tighnari’s pupil.” Suddenly, you felt calmer, safer now that the eerie silence accompanied you with the presence of the man you knew as well as breathing.

—

Alhaitham couldn’t say anything, busying himself gazing upon your eyes and your weakly pulled smile. There was still sadness lingering within them, covered by a coating of relief. He felt remorse for taking Collei away from you, for making you worry like this, for leaving you in the dark for a long, long time. Nonetheless, he was happy it led to you talking to him again. He was almost certain this day would never come.

Then he is reminded of you dancing with another man. His heart pounded erratically against his chest, each beat echoing the tumultuous storm of emotions raging within him. He had come to the festival in search of hope and redemption, a fleeting reprieve from the pain that chewed up his soul. But instead, he had found more heartache, contrary to the plan.

As he watched you twirl and sway with the man’s hand in yours, he felt as though the world tilted off its axis, leaving him teetering on the precipice of anguish. How could you be dancing so freely with another when every fiber of his being yearned to hold you so close, to feel the warmth you gave him once more?

His hands clenched into fists against his knees, his jaw tightened with unexpressed emotion. He remembered how badly he wanted to look away, but the flow of your hair and how gracefully you moved wouldn’t let him, it was as if you had casted a spell upon him, forever tormenting him to stay on the sidelines, to repress the overwhelming desire to be the one twirling you around and making you smile.

A surge of conflicting emotions washed over him—a searing pang of jealousy intertwined with a profound sense of regret and longing. Then just when he was ready to cross the bridge that separated you, he felt a small tug on his darkened cape. “Mr. Scribe Alhaitham,” Collei said meekly, sheepishly rubbing her eyes, “Did the plan work?”

He remembers Kaveh’s words, so filled with determination, She’ll do anything for Collei, so if she asks to go to the festival, Y/N will for sure accompany her! Once the slow dance starts, that’s when you’ll swoop in and declare your love.

And if it doesn’t work?, the scribe raised his eyebrows.

It will! I’ll make sure no one gets near her.

Boy, did that plan go to shit.

He gave the little girl a soft smile despite the mind-numbing pain in his chest. He knelt down to her level, “Isn’t Kaveh supposed to be with you?”

“Someone was talking to him just a while ago. It seemed pretty heated, so I slipped away when I got the chance,” she yawned.

“Of course,” Alhaitham muttered. Must be a client of his. “You look tired, Collei.”

“I think I’m ready to go home now, Mr. Alhaitham.” The drowsiness in her eyes could barely hold her awake. It was getting late, she must not be used to staying up at times like these.

Alhaitham looked back at you, wondering if you were still keeping your eyes on him. To no avail, it was like you had vanished like a ghost with the beautiful, painful sight he had witnessed along with you. A heavy feeling lingered in his chest, leaving him to wonder if you would lock your gaze with him again. Then he left, accompanying Collei back to her and Tighnari’s cottage.

On his way back to the bazaar for reasons unknown, he found you weeping in your hands, curled up like a shriveled bug beaten down, calling out Collei’s name. After he assured you of the little girl’s safety, you began talking about your experiences with her. Ever so glad, he listened to your voice, melodious and soothing like a lullaby to put him to sleep. The euphoria he experienced was one like no other, it was the first time he felt at peace for eons against the stars and the cool breeze. Then, he wondered, were you feeling the same?

“They found a new Grand Sage,” he announced.

“Is that why you have the time now?” Your words stung his morality, picking on the weak scabs of his mistakes.

He took a moment to respond. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. “I never meant for any of this to happen.”

Unable to meet his gaze, you managed a casual tone, “I know, Alhaitham.” His name sounded like a song whenever it came from your lips. “Besides, it’s not your fault.” Your voice was then hoarse of emotion, fingers picking at the dirt beneath you. “I shouldn’t have let myself to get lost in my own thoughts.”

“But I should’ve been there for you,” Alhaitham insisted. “I should not have made you feel like you were alone.”

“But it happened anyway.”

For a moment, silence enveloped the space between you, only broken by the distant sounds of the festival. Then, slowly, you turned to meet his gaze, in a light that had no remorse, for the first time since you told him to leave.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you,” you admitted, your voice trembling with uncertainty. “But I do know I’m willing to try.”

With this, Alhaitham took you in a warm embrace, letting out a shaky breath as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. He then held you by the shoulders, teary as you released him from this torture. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make things right again.”

As you looked into his eyes, you found the sincerity in his voice, determination reflecting upon his irises. Despite everything that had happened, you couldn’t deny the hope that ignited in your stomach. Maybe, just maybe, there was still a chance to find your way back together.

You held his hands first, then traced your way to his cheeks, warm with anticipation. Then you pulled him into a kiss that was long overdue, Alhaitham almost tumbling from the force you had exerted.

As your lips meet, there is a softness, a tenderness in the way they press together, as if each touch carries the weight of a thousand whispered promises. Time seems to stand still as you both lose yourselves in the sensation, senses heightened by the intoxicating blend of warmth and desire. It's a symphony of sensations—a gentle caress, a fleeting brush of lips, a silent exchange of emotions that speaks volumes without a single word. And in that fleeting moment, you find solace, connection, and a sense of belonging in each other's embrace.

Slow as the breeze blew your hair, everything froze and only he brought the fire to relieve you of your vains. Alhaitham’s lips were soft and cold, clearly waiting for this day to come. When he leaned back for air, foreheads connected together, you breathed, “I love you.”

As you heard the crowd’s applause from a distance, as if cheering for your reconciling, he replied, “I love you more,” before pulling you in for another well-deserved kiss.

—the end.—

[mysicklove]

im so normal about gojo, the strongest sorcerer of his time and his wife who's not a sorcerer and works as a ceo of a company that absolutely dominates him on a daily basis.

like yea, gojos over 6 feet tall and he could easily take your life away whenever BUT you're his mommy darling and he couldn't even bring himself to do anything without your approval.

gojo malewife agenda also; busy man that makes breakfast for his ceo wife in the morning, makes her coffee and gets her bag and laptop ready so she doesn't have to lift a finger. you reward him with a pat on the head and a firm kiss before you're out the door and his dick is hard IMMEDIATELY.

you get back home and he's already a the door, kneels to help your heels off and hang your coat in the closet. guides you to the kitchen where dinner is ready, and he's staring at you like 😇 very proud of himself cuz he's been the best boy.

anyway. gojo is the cutest thing I've ever SEEN

i LOVEEEEE this idea oh my.

hes like an overgrown puppy about it too. you have to praise every single detail about his work or else he gets all pouty and lets out the most dramatic sighs ever. and every day when he hears the, "aw satoru, you didnt have to do all this for me. youre so sweet." he gets all giddy and declares that he is the best husband out there.

but you do have a habit of teasing him, grabbing the back of his hair and pressing your mouth to his. he always ends up pinning you to a wall, only thinking, are you staying home? please stay home. dont go, its not worth it. and then you pull away as if nothing was amiss, leaving him with swollen lips and ruffled hair from where you affectionately ruffled his hair. the door shuts and he groans to himself, knowing that he has to jerk off now because of you.

but when you get home he is back at your heels, attending to your every need and staring at you while you eat his (frozen, pre-made) dinner that he just pulled out of the oven. and then he goes off on a tangent on how he cleaned the house, washed the sheets, folded the laundry, and you make sure to praise him accordlingly. but it is gojo, and even if the praise makes his cheeks flush, he was never just satisified with that. so he ends off his little monologue with a, "i do believe earth shattering sex would totally show how greatful you are of your adoring, hard working husband."

[stairain]

Begging for a Breaking.

You've never been that of a beggar for Spencer, but you’re not about to back down now.

Warnings: Sub Spencer, Dom reader, handjob, touching through clothes, cumming in boxers, overstimulation, begging, crying, sobbing, ropes, all consensual.

WC: 1.0K

Cruelly tapping up the side of his soaking shaft, you smile up at Spencer even though you know he wouldn’t be able to return the favor. There’s a muggy layer of sweat that lays upon his skin, and an absolute flood of cum in his drenched boxers. 

A small pool of spend had gathered in the fabric of his underwear and dwelled in the cavern of his spread and shaking thighs, creating a sticky mess of the past three orgasms you’ve coaxed out of the poor man in front of you.

If not for the messily tied rope that bound his ankles to the chair he sat upon, he would’ve thrashed out of his confines and ran for the hills, begging you not to touch him ever again. Spencer was simply lost in pleasure as your nimble fingers made their way across pulsing veins and thick semen. 

When he finally opens his eyes to the unfortunate sight and feel of you rubbing him through his boxers once more, you tilt your head to the side and put on your best act to show him you were just as desperate as he was, but in an entirely different way. 

"Just one more, please? Can't you do that for me baby?" 

Your voice was low and wishful as the palm of your hand came in contact with the rubbed raw tip of his poor abused cock. Convulsing in his spot, Spencer practically jumps away at the feel and shakes his head frantically in a desperate attempt to get you to show him some sliver of mercy. 

"You know I can't do that.."

He whines pitfully, moving his hips back as much as he can away from you, but to no avail. You continue to move the flat surface of your palm against the wet gooey feeling of his load, spreading it around and creating even more of a disgusting and filthy mess. 

As he continued to cry out, you just ignored the pained noises that were forced from his raw throat. He wanted this as much as you did, if not more. 

“Why not? I thought you wanted to be a good boy for me.. What happened to that?”

Guilt seeped into the man’s veins, pumping along the never ending supply of arousal that just couldn't leave him alone no matter how hard it hurt. Snapping his gaze down to you with his eyebrows drawn close, he shakes his head again and babbles out apologies and excuses, none of which you want to hear. 

“I-I am a good boy.. I already finished three times, isn’t that enough?”

Pouting and clicking your tongue, your free hand grabs his dick at the rock hard base, a lewd squishing noise making itself known as you squeezed a little harder than you should’ve. Spencer whimpered in pain and his legs jolted together in an attempt to close. 

“I want more, Spence. Cum for me, please?” 

While one hand absolutely massacred his overly sensitive head, the other squeezed at the base and teased at his balls, making a sickly feeling in the pit of his stomach come to life as his pitiful used body tried its hardest to produce something or anything that would make you proud. 

Tears sprung to the brunet's eyes as he threw his head back in frustration. Your touch was too much but not nearly enough to get him to finish again, and it twisted his heart to even think about the possibility of you being disappointed in him.

“I-I can’t.. I can’t do it. Pl-Please.. I’m sorry.”

Spencer sobbed out, choking on his own words and tasting the salt of his tears as he felt himself going numb with pleasure and total overstimulation.

“No.. I believe you can do it, Spence. Come on, please? For me?” 

He bleats pathetically at your begging, not used to you being the one pleading for him. It conjured up something confusing in his brain and more evidently his cock, and despite being seemingly drained for all he was worth, his jaw drops in a mix of an agonizing groan and a pained whimper. 

“Fuck–no..no.”

Warmth spurted from under your palm and wetted the already doused undergarment, a cruel smile springing on your face at the absolute agony you’ve put him in. His chest heaves in labored breaths, almost as if he traded in every other function in his body just to be able to finish for you at this moment. 

His cock twitched in your hold as you wouldn’t let up and continued to wring at his length, you wanted to make sure he was completely empty, milked for everything and nothing his pathetic little body would grant you.

Spencer’s groans seized when he realized your hands were still on him somehow, and he began shaking his head so quickly you’d be surprised all the blood hadn’t already left his brain. Hot tears streamed down his flushed face as he started to let out gut wrenching sobs, 

“N-No, no.. No more please I-I can’t take it..”  

And in an instant you released him from your hold and backed up away from the husk of a man that sat before you. Shaking, whimpering, crying, he had it all after having everything taken from him. 

His cum dripped from the darkened fabric and joined the sticky webs that formed between his legs and pelvis, a sight to behold, to put it lightly. Your hands reach out gently to grab at the waistband of his underwear, and you stop yourself from laughing at the way his body flinches at the lightest touch.

Pulling down his boxers, you let his messy cock slap against his stomach, forcing an embarrassed whimper out of him. Tip a mean shade of red, veins pumping faster than his heart, and a still embarrassingly hard shaft that might as well had grown a second skin with how much of his release coated his length. 

“Look at you.. You must want more, hm?”

Spencer’s eyes widened before you could even finish your sentence and cut you off with a firm refusal that no he did not want more. 

Chuckling in a cruel and cold tone, you flick his cockhead and bite your tongue when the tiniest gush of cum shot out of him, much to your surprise. 

Arching your eyebrow you look up at the man, whose face shows nothing but terror and desperation, and you find yourself relishing in the torment. In a sickly sweet voice, you beckon him. 

“One more, baby. Please?”

[hitomisuzuya]

Scaramouche x fem!reader. Smut. College AU. Praise. Degradation. Somnophilia. Obsessive behavior. Corruption. Mentions of smoking marijuana and cigarettes. Scara absolutely does not shut up in this. I think I covered it all.

This is a tribute and an expansion on the College AU Scaramouche smut @xxventiswindblumexx wrote. I was nervous to post this. Please treat yourself and read their stuff. It's worth it.

It has been more than a month since he had claimed you as his one day when you walked into his room on accident. He'd done that on a whim, you were a means to and end because he couldn't get himself off.

Or so he thought. While you were sleeping next to him, exhausted, he reflected on a few things, just like he would in your current situation.

After you both were finished with classes for the day and you had finished practicing with your team before a big horse show next week, you'd showered and came to his dorm room where you started sleeping at night.

It was the weekend and dorm advisors never cared what anyone did. It was their time to relax to. As long as no one got too loud or destructive or dangerous, boundaries could be pushed a little on the weekends

You were naked with him under his blanket smoking weed and cigarettes, watching a sitcom set in the 70's on the TV in his dorm. He didn't care for it but it was making you laugh. And your laugh was making his cheeks flush.

Taking a drag from a joint, he held the smoke in his lungs, and put a hand in your shoulder to roll you onto your back. Putting two fingers into your mouth, he pressed down on your tongue so you would open your mouth more. Scaramouche leaned down and kissed you, blowing his smoke into your lungs.

His fingers stroked your jaw soothingly when you coughed a little, but eventually you relaxed your lungs like a pro and exhaled when he pulled away. Who knew you were a total stoner too.

"What would those first year students who follow you around like a gaggle of geese at the equestrian facility, hanging pathetically on every word you say with complete and blind admiration. What would they think if they saw you right now?" Scaramouche asked, his lips hovering over yours.

"I dunno, I suppose I wouldn't really care. Like you said, admiration makes them blind," you replied, wishing he would just kiss you already.

He chuckled, his warm breath fanning across your lips. The sound took your breath away. "You even indulge them with head pats and praise then they do well."

Did he sound jealous? "Are those things you want?" You countered, more as a joke than anything else.

There it was, that sharp tongue of yours. It was the first thing he noticed about you when he saw you following him around like a puppy whenever you could, looking for excuses to talk to him.

"And your horse, I swear he fucking hates me. Everytime he saw me lingering in the background at horse shows, he would glare at me." He leaned down to kiss you before you could react to finding out that he started watching you as much as you were watching him. He just didn't make it as obvious as you had.

He'd started asking around about you, where your haunts were, and nicked a copy of the horse show schedule from one of your friends when they weren't looking.

And when you weren't looking, he was looking at you. He found that he searched visible places on your body for any signs of physical intimacy with someone, but he couldn't find any. He didn't even smell sex on you. Just the shame of pleasuring yourself. Scaramouche even saw you turn down a few guys and one girl saying you had someone you liked.

Scaramouche wasn't an idiot. He knew you were talking about him. He knew he could've walked right to you and made out with you right in front of everyone and you wouldn't care. And you kiss him back like it was supposed to happen from the beginning.

Spreading your legs apart, he thrust two fingers inside of you, pulling away just to hear you moan. You bucked your lips up into his fingers. "Your hole is favorite place to warm my fingers when they get cold." You whined when pulled them out of so he could lick his fingers, keeping his eyes on you.

He never thought he would want romantic commitment with someone. The thought disgusted him. Until he met you. Little did you know when he was finished with you, he was going to a put a purple leather cord around your wrist. Something he'd made himself. It would be like a collar on your wrist, binding you to him.

Scaramouche had started winding you up early during the last class you'd had of the day with him. After the party that night, he'd hacked into the faculty account of the college's website and changed your classes so that you had them all with him.

But you weren't ever going to know that.

You were going to hear a few things come out of his mouth tonight that he really wanted you to hear. Explained in his own way of course.

You and Scaramouche had chosen to sit way back in the corner of the classroom. The lights would be off the whole class from a Power Point presentation or something.

He'd texted you to rest your head on the desk the two of you occupied, telling you that if you made so much as one sound, he would tell everyone what he was up to.

It was idle threat into making you behave for him. He discreetly rubbed and teased his fingers between your legs, making a damp patch soak through your panties. How beneficial for him that you'd worn a skirt today. He enjoyed watching you struggle to be still and swallow moans. You were practically crying from how hard it was to make yourself not react to him.

You'd been wet the rest of the day, thoughts of him teasing you mercilessly like that right in the middle of a class never left your mind. You were always thinking of him. Like you always should.

"Hey, Scara, did you zone out cause you are too high? Please just fuck me already. I have been waiting all day." He squeezed the sides of your jaw in warning.

"You just shut up, and inhale smoke when I offer it to you and fall asleep while I play with your cunt as I please." Scaramouche snapped, blowing another puff of smoke into your lungs.

Rinse and repeat until you fell asleep, drooling slightly while he fingered and scissored your walls apart, whining pathetically with a glazed over look in your eyes, one of lust and adoration.

When he heard your breathing even out, Scaramouche brushed some hair away from your face and lit a cigarette, barely listening to the sitcom on TV.

When you rolled over on your side, clinging to him, moaning his name in your sleep, rubbing yourself against him like a cat in heat. Scaramouche laughed quietly, watching amused.

"You are still a needy slut for me, even in your sleep. Where did you even come from, anyways. Nobody knows anything about you before you started classes here. And I couldn't find out anything either."

Scaramouche couldn't find anything. Absolutely nothing except little bits of information like your birthday or what your parents did for a living, normally useless knowledge to anyone else. But very useful for him. He knew he would never have to meet your parents and that was fine. He didn't exactly get along with his parents. You'd just strolled in here one day with that hateful black creature and caught his attention.

How dare you.

Scaramouche's fingers itched to choke you a little, but he restrained himself. It was going to so fun further corrupting you, even while you slept. He continued fingering you, watching you in the dark.

"What is about you? I don't understand why I am feeling like there is no where in the world I would rather than be than here with you, enjoying your cunt while you sleep." The pace of his fingers was slow and rough, making you cry out for him."

And still he kept babbling while he watched you fall apart for him. "Every day since I first saw you, I now realize that I couldn't wait to get my hands on you and corrupt you. Mold you exactly to my tastes" he rubbed your clit, flicking you in the forehead.

"You are way too nice. You are always disgustingly considerate of other people even though you hate them like I do," Scaramouche was panting now, resting his forehead against yours, nuzzling it with this cheek occasionally. "I wanted to bath the campus in the blood of everyone that approached you romantic intent. You are already mine before I even talked to you. Didn't they know that?" His wrist was starting to feel sore, but he never stopped.

His fingers were squelching and out of your hole. He started biting your lips swollen when he heard your phone sound with a text notification. Growling, he pulled his fingers out of you and didn't even lick them clean as he typed in the password to unlock your phone. You would never know how he got it either.

It was a text from one of those pathetic first year kids, asking if you had finished the jump course diagrams yet. Rolling his eyes, Scaramouche put the blanket on you and put on some pants.

Rummaging through your bag, he found the diagrams. "Let's see what these look like first," he laughed when he saw you even calculated the number of steps their horses needed to take before they took off over the jump. "Like I thought, my good slut is way too nice."

Opening the door, he gave the papers to the first person he saw, told them to give it to what's her name and slammed the door shut.

Now he could hold you while you slept and fuck you awake when he wanted to.

He was falling in love with you. The purple leather cord he put around your wrist was proof of that.

[pleasantlycrazyworld]

Hi I just finished reading the steve harrington x reader imagine where its their one year anniversary and reader finds out about the bet, I was wondering if you could maybe do a 2nd part where Steve somehow finds a way to win reader back and decide to still be bf and girlfriend rather than start all over again and steve asks reader out officially (since he asked her out bc of a bet originally) and they have their date where he reasks her to be his gf, then time skip to where its their 2 year anniversary and he proposes🤍

I got so carried away....oops? Over 4k words

I didn't get into the propose but I totally can if anyone wants me to! I hope you enjoy and it was worth the wait, I am thinking of making an alternative version of this where the reader doesn't take him back, if you want tagged lmk!

Steve was not the same without you. Anyone and everyone could tell. He showed up late to work, never talked to the customers, and he hasn't spoken to Robin, Nancy, or anyone from the group for that matter. He just wanted to disappear into his bed and never be discovered.

However, just because he was in his bed didn't mean he slept. No, he hasn't slept since you left, and if he did, it was for minutes at a time. Instead of sleeping, he just stared. Stared at your side of the bed, stared at pictures of you two together, stared at the ring that haunted him. All he could do was stare.

You weren't doing any better. You didn't just lose Steve but you lost your best friends too, being betrayed by your boyfriend hurt but being betrayed by who you considered the closest friends in your life hurt you the most. You couldn't bring yourself to reach out, anytime the phone rang you just let it ring, anytime there was a knock on the door you just waited under mounds of blankets for the person to leave. Everyone was concerned for the two of you but no one knew how to help, that is until Dustin went and forced Steve to get out of bed. For a 15 year old Dustin was surprisingly strong, Steve found this out when he was dragged out of his bed and into the shower. "You are showering. You are going to make yourself presentable and you are going to go talk to her. At least make sure she's still breathing." Dustin rolls his eyes but he misses how Steve's breathing got caught in his throat hearing that you weren't doing well, even if Dustin just briefly mentioned it.

Steve didn't care about himself, he lost you and that ended with him losing himself, but he never stopped caring about you. He rushed through the shower and hurried to get presentable once again before dragging his ass to the car and headed to your house after making a quick stop to the flower shop. The entire ride to your house he gave himself multiple pep-talks. "I'm a douche....this is noticeable, everyone can see that but" he sighs softly and shakes his head as he feels tears starting to form, "But with you...god y/n with you I wanted to be better. I will be better for you, I want to be the man you deserve even if I can never achieve that. Fuck maybe I'm just selfish...I definitely don't deserve you, no one...no one deserves an angel like you." When Steve pulls into your driveway tears are falling freely down his cheeks, he gets out of the car and grabs the flowers he bought you while choking back sobs. He doesn't bother knocking, if what Dustin told him he knows you won't bother answering the door. Even though you've been apart for weeks now he still has keys to your place so technically....not breaking and entering???

He softly walks through your home trying not to disturb anything, not wanting to taint anything more than he already has. He is in front of your bedroom door much quicker than he was prepared, the door was already opened and the sight before him destroyed his already broken heart. In front of him was the love of his life, under mounds of blankets with the only evidence of life being the slow rise and fall of the blankets.

"Oh princess..." he softly speaks breaking the silence. You jump slightly, blankets falling off your figure, at the sound of a familiar voice, a haunting voice. "Steve...." Your voice creaks and your sight blurs, sitting up straight you feel your breathing stop at the sight of the man before you. Even though he tried his hardest to look presentable for your presence he was still a clear mess. His hair was disheveled, his cheeks were blotchy and eyes bright red. He walks to your side slowly as if he was approaching an injured animal, "Princess I..." His voice cracks and lip quivers as a sob wins the fight he was trying to win. "I am so sorry! I-I never...never meant for this to happen, never fuck i never wanted to hurt you. I was going to tell you but everything was going so well I just didn't want to lose you" Your throat gets tight and begins to burn as you fight the tears that were determined to fall. "Steve I...I loved you."

Loved....Loved....past tense....loved

"No....baby no not loved... I love you. I love you. How can I fix this? There has to be a way to fix this I...fuck I can't lose you forever. This might have started as a bet but my love for you was never apart of it. I've never loved someone as much as I love you"

A scoff and an eye roll is what he's met with, causing him to panic even more at the thought of never having you in his life again. But then you move closer to him and you take the flowers from his hands. "We can try to start over..." You whispered softly

----Time skip-----

It's been two years since the break up, it's been two years since starting over. And things had never been better, Steve never wanted to lose you and tonight he's hoping that he can assure that you'll be his forever with a ring on your left hand.

Tagging: @emmyshortcake @succubusmunson @bloodthirstybreedingbunny @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @keerysfolklore @eddiesguitarskills @mystargirl-interlude @lofaewrites @sweet-villain

[decapitatedsnake]

My little (to no) context reaction to the wisdom saga 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

(I couldn't stay up to watch the live so I'm just listening to the music = no animatics)

[30th of august 14:58]

Legendary

. I mean I've already heard legendary but I'm excited

. Gorgeous music, I feel transported into like ancient greece

. This sounds amazing

. The guy who voices Telemachus (MICO?) is adorable

. I don't like the riffs but he sounds good

. Telemachus deserves the world

. "L-l-l-l egendary"

. 108??!

. Isn't he like 13 here? (anywhere from 12-15 i feel like)

. I don't think we got a snippet of the ending

. MAN OF THE HOUSE

. AHHHA

. 20 YEARS?? WHAT

. I can't tell if they said 12 or 20

."BOY" Lowkey scared me

. EXCUSE YOU SIR TRAMP?? WHO DOES HE THINK-

. Antinous didn't come to play DAYUM

. This is insane

. "Whatcha gonna do about it champ?" Jorge was totally right Ayron is such a good Antinous

. Awwww he can't do anything :<

. Wait?

Little wolf

. GET HIM TELEY

. I love Antinous's voice

. I really loved the snippets for this one

. "I'll teach you all the lessons your daddy never could" it's on sight actually

. And little wolf is just so ughh I wanna punch him

. ATHENA

. FIGHT BACK

. BAHAHAHA UPPERCUT?

. QUICK THOUGHT

. And he👏is👏a 👏bully👏

. SHOW HIM

. ATHENA IS SO COOL

. OMG OMG

. Her voice is stunning

. The animatics are gonna go so hard

. Awww

. Oh he lost??

. Telemachus:((

. I mean yeah why did she come to your aid?

We'll be fine

. We only got Teleys bit so I'm excited

. Oo start with Athena

. FRIEND??

. Don't make me cry

. "He was a lot like you" gee I wonder why

. GREW APART :((

. HIS LIGHT!!

. GLORIOUS VOICE

. WAITT THEY CHANGED IT

. "Or if hes worth the hype but" > " I don't know what he's like"

. Fair enough

. And they changed "Cuz I got in a fight, sailed to an island when I've never left home shores"

. Okay it's been less than 5 minutes please refrain on the whole "friend" thing rn lol

. God telemachus voice (I can't shut up they're such good singers"

. DUET!!!!

. YOU WILL BE FINE

. Kid? Is he twenty or 12 I can't tell

Love in paradise

. FUCK YES

. WAIT THE INTRO?

. THEY WERE AT SEA FOR 10 YEARS, damn

. THE MUSIC SOARING, IT'S SO COOL, ouch

. CALYPSO MY LOVE (only the epic version though) [Ik it's up to interpretation but for me she doesn't sa him in this version]

. She's my wife 🙂 anyway 🤨

. HELL NO

. Oh shit love in paradise is athena watching, not Odysseus's experience

. Like this is when they first met and Calypso and Odysseus have been together for 7 years

. 7 YEARS

. YEAH I SAID THAT, before the song did

. ODYSSEUS!!

. WHAT > THE LEDGE

. ODYSSEUS 😭😭😭😭

. Wtf I am not emotionally stable enough for this

. Open..... arms.. BRO

. HIS MUM, POLITES AND EURY AND PENELOPE AND ATHENA??? BROO 😢

. YEAH I THINK HE DOES NEED HELP UGH

God games

. Ooo very grand

. Athena get him PLEASE

. She's about that business

. YES GOD GAMES INTRO OMGG

. WAIT WERE GONNA HEAR APOLLO AND HEAPHESTUS I'M SO EXCITED

. THE LITTLE MUSIC CHANEGS ARE SO GOOD

. ZEUS VOICE IS SO AMASZNIGN

. "and me" 😎

. That is not how I thought Apollo would sound

. He's batting for the sirens?? Um Ig that makes sense

. Oh Heaphestus I totally thought that aphrodite was next

. Well she's level 3 anyway

. BRO HIS DAD VOICES HEAPHESTUS I LOVE THAT

. Wait Apollo and Heaphestus are very reasonable, good for them

. NOW THE ONE WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR (excluding Hera)

. OMG IT'S THE SNIPPET THAT'S THE FINAL

. Athena's voice is new?

. Hmm she rerecorded but they didn't

. DIDN'T EVEN TRY TO KILL HER

. Don't fuck with Telemachus in front of Athena

. "Ughh release him"

. HERA

. OH FUCK SHE'S PERFECT CMON

. RELEASE HIM

. ZEUS YOU DICKHEAD SHE'S THE GODESS OF WISDOM LITERALLY ONLY HER COULD BEAT YOUR GAME

. WHAT WHAT

. NO

. WHAT???

. WHAT'S going on

. The music is telling me she like survived whatever his ambush was

. Zeus....

.THATS THE END WHATT

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛᴀʏ - ᴛᴡᴏ

series masterlist / complete masterlist

ᴛᴡᴏ

Sitting with the Norris family I feel like I've known them forever, even Flo and Cisca who aren't much younger than me are happy for me to be here. The afternoon passes so quickly I'm amazed Lucas is still sleeping.

"Do you mind if I ask how far along you are in your pregnancy?" Cisca asks and I know everyone has an opinion on this baby, even people who don't know me assume things.

"I've just gone 17 weeks and I'm due the 4th of March" subconsciously I rest my hand on my ever growing bump "everyone thinks I'm so much further on than I am, I'm huge compared to my last pregnancy"

"Do you know what you're having? I know my pregnancies carrying boys then girls were totally different"

"Yeah she's a girl. I only had a scan a few days before I came away and haven't told anyone yet. I had a feeling though because I've put on so much weight including in my face and my skin has been so bad but last time you would've thought I'd just put a football up my top" saying my baby is a girl out loud catches me off guard. I wasn't going to tell anyone until she's born.

"You still look incredible and she'll be worth it in the end" Cisca tells me and I feel like every word she's ever going to say to me is true.

"Mama I want my claren" noticing Lucas wake up I take him into my arms until he wakes himself up fully before I introduce him to everyone. "I Lando mama"

"I know you're Lando. Are you going to say hello?" In an instant Lucas is up off my knee and telling everyone he's Lando and he drives a McLaren.

"I drive a claren mama. No Ferrari" talk about being put in my place.

"I know Lando drives a McLaren baby. You have your McLaren here" I say handing Lucas his toy cars from his bag which he proceeds to show off proudly while singing let's go Lando.

"He's like my brother in child form. It's so weird how much he's like Lando in fact he's probably more mature at two years old than what Lando is" from the time I've been sat with the family I've noticed Flo is the more outspoken one but she's very similar to me. 

"Is his name actually Lando? His energy reminds me of our Lando when he was little" Cisca asks watching my little boy show Adam his cars he brought with him.

"No it's not, his name is Lucas. It's funny though he was nearly named after Lando, I had my heart set on it. My family are huge formula one fans"

"Oh really? Lando would've loved it if Lucas was named after him. We'd never hear the end of it"

"Some days I think I should've just called him Lando. His thing at the minute is to tell people his name is Lando and he point blank refuses to answer to Lucas"

"That's so cute. We'll have to tell Lando when he arrives. How come you changed your mind?" Cisca asks as Lucas continues to show off his Lando cars.

"When I was pregnant Lando's name really stood out, as a family we watched him coming through the ranks and getting his first Formula One start it only seemed right my baby would have a racing inspired name" I smile to myself thinking back on how Lucas got his name "My ex hated the thought of Lucas being named after Lando, he tried to say the only reason was because of Lando being attractive. I'd brought it up a lot when I was pregnant because I loved the name so when he left me before Lucas's birth was registered I decided he was my baby and I was going to call him what I wanted. I came across Lucas and there was no going back from that, it was close to Lando without being an exact copy. I then went through hundreds of middle names and settled on Valentino" I explain thinking back on how Lucas got his name. Now I couldn't imagine him being anything other than Lucas Valentino.

"As in Valentino Rossi?" Cisca asks.

"Yeah my dad has always been a fan and I guess it rubbed off on me"

"It's scary how alike you and Lando are. If I didn't know better myself I'd say you'd been manufactured in a lab for each other!" It's so strange for me to hear Cisca saying how similar I am to Lando. I would've thought we're worlds apart "have you and Lucas been to races together?"

"Yeah my family have been going to Silverstone since before I was born and now we still go as a family. My mum went to Silverstone when she was pregnant with me and other than Covid years I've gone every year, I got judged for it but Lucas went for the first time when he was barely three weeks old. I'm not completely irresponsible he wore ear defenders the whole time we were there but it was amazing to share that moment with him"

"You're his mum, you know what's best for him and your decision is final. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different" my mum has always given me amazing advice and from speaking to Cisca for the small period I have I feel like she's very similar. It's like she's an extension of my mum.

I spend the rest of the day and the evening with my newly adopted family. They've taken me under their wing and Lucas being here hasn't bothered them at all. They invited us to dinner with them where they continued to make me feel like I belong with them. When I spoke to my family back home they couldn't quite believe I'd became an honorary Norris for the duration of my holiday, almost to the point where I think my brother was tempted to get on a flight because he feels left out. I didn't tell them that Lando is joining his family in the next few days in case it doesn't happen but mainly because I don't want to get my hopes up.

Being a similar age to Lando I've followed his career closely over the years and I've seen him race multiple times before he even made it to Formula One. From a fan perspective I admire everything he's done, as a person I can't lie I do find him extremely attractive. Do I think he would ever take notice of me? Absolutely not but I can admire him from a distance.

"Adam!" Lucas practically screams as he runs across the restaurant when he spots Adam sitting at a table for breakfast the next morning.

"Lucas wait for mummy!" I try to keep up with Lucas but thankfully Adam catches him before he can get far.

"Mummy I Lando!" Mummy rather than mama? I'm definitely in the bad books. Noticing the distinctive curls sticking out the back of the cap on the person sat next to Adam there's no denying who it is. Lando has arrived and I suddenly feel sick with nerves. Hearing his name Lando turns to look at Lucas and I can only watch the scene in front of me.

"Are you Lando just like me?" Lando asks Lucas his energy matching my two year olds as they meet for the first time. I can see Lucas is confused but trying to work out if he knows Lando, his face tells me he knows he recognises him but he's unsure. The amount of videos Lucas watches of Lando, I have no doubt he knows who he is in his own little way.

"I Lando! I drive a claren!" Lucas explains to Lando pointing at the picture of the McLaren car on his chosen T-shirt for the day.

"Me too! You'll have to show me your McLaren I bet it's better than mine!"

"Morning" I say to Adam not knowing if I belong in this conversation "if we're interrupting we'll leave you alone"

"Nonsense. Have a seat and we'll get you some breakfast ordered. The girls should be down soon. Lando this is Natalia who we were telling you about, Natalia this is Lando our son" usually I'd be confident when I meet someone for the first time but meeting Lando I am so nervous. He's even more stunning in real life than he looks in photos. His jaw is perfectly chiseled, his hair despite being covered by a cap looks like it would be soft to run your fingers through, his smile lights up his face, the small gap between his teeth adding an extra layer of charm and his eyes. Oh my god his eyes are beautiful. I've never seen anyone have such green eyes but yet they're so blue at the same time. It’s almost like they can’t decide what colour they want to be.

“It’s nice to meet you Lando” I can’t take my eyes off Lando as I sit down at the table opposite him. I can smell him from a distance, maybe it’s the increased sensitivity to smells due to pregnancy but he smells incredible.

“Likewise. My sisters have mentioned you a lot since they met you. Is this Lando 2.0?” Lando asks dividing his attention between me and Lucas who has now decided to get all of his toy cars out to show Lando.

“This is Lucas but he thinks he’s Lando 2.0. He won’t answer to his own name and refuses to drive anything other than a McLaren”

“I like his style” watching Lando with Lucas im amazed at how Lucas has taken to him within minutes. There’s a chair pulled between Lando and Adam that Lucas has sat himself on and I know he’s in his element having someone to play cars with.

As the conversation between Lando and I flows my nerves disappear. He’s given me no reason to feel on edge and he’s talking to Lucas like he’s known him forever, as a mum I couldn’t ask for more. My child is grinning from ear to ear, who am I to put a stop to that. Even being left alone with Lando as Adam goes to get us all drinks I don’t feel like I need to run away from the man in front of me.

“I’ve heard you’re a fan of mine” Lando asks barely looking up from where Lucas is showing him yet another car but I see the look in his eyes and the smirk on his lips. Is he flirting with me?

“You could say that but then I’m also a fan of Mercedes and Ferrari as well so make of that what you please” I say with a shrug eating the strawberries that are in front of me.

“By the end of this holiday you won’t remember who Mercedes or Ferrari are Natalia, I can promise you that” biting my lip I don’t get to respond to Lando as we’re joined by his mum and sister but the look on his face tells me he knows he’s got me, hook line and sinker. Fuck.

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝔹𝕝𝕠𝕠𝕞𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕓𝕪 𝕎𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ @bleachtheidiot @wabatle

ᵀᴼᴰᴬʸ'ˢ ᴬᴿᵀ : Lovely Flowers Blooming by the Water - Airi Momoi

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

You were living quite a boring life as a mermaid... here you explored, here another human lost some piece of jewelry, here you helped some fish that got stuck... it all was quite boring and repetitive...

That's untill you met a girl~

It all started by some kid snatching her breacelet and throwing it far away into the ocean for some reason... you don't really know why they did that but you could hear that she was pissed and clearly cared about that bracelet a lot. So feeling bad, you decided to retrieve it for her and more or less accidentally hit the kid in the head with said bracelet, also returning it to it's owner.

She may've not noticed you but her cocky smile fell into your memory... and you ended up wanting to see her again!

So you peeked from behind the rock to watch how she danced with few other humans, before saying goodbye to them and saying she'll go back to them after short walk. And that's how you got caught...

She was surprisingly nice an respectful. Not scared or focused on bringing you to lab or anything like that, like most humans did when they first saw a mermaid. That was another thing that made you even more curious about that girl...

And that's how you became friends! You began with simply getting to know each other at night, when everyone was asleep and couldn't catch you two!

Later, you thought of some games as well! Like looking for seashells underwater, you showing her what valuables humans threw away into the sea that you collected and her in exchange telling you more about human life, soothing your curiosity, as well as giving you some human food and drinks to try! Not to forget about the technology... you could barely touch some since it couldn't come in contact with water, but you still found it very interesting!

"(I wonder where she's now... she said she'll be going away tomorrow morning...)"

You thought to yourself when you remembered all the moments you spent with pink haired girl during her vacations.

"(It's arlady night... I can bet she's sleeping...)"

Your eyes fell on bright moon. It was beatiful... you finally sighed and decided to take some good rest as well. Already getting ready to swim away from under the bridge where you used to meet...

That's when you heard a big splash!!

"You didn't thought I'm gonna leave without goodbye, did you?"

"A-Airi?! What- Why aren't you asleep?!"

She surprised you so much that you struggled to regain your composure and logical thinking for a second there... but it was certainly a nice surprise~

"Wait! The water is cold! Aren't you humans like..."

"I won't get sick, don't worry. And even if I do, it'd be totally worth it!"

"I don't want you to end in bed! C'mon let me help you get to the surface-"

"Haha~ it's fine. Why won't we look for some seashells for the last time this year?"

You stopped... this offer was very tempting indeed... and if she assured she won't get sick then... maybe few minutes won't hurt?

"Sure... but don't blame me if you end up so sick you won't be able to move!"

"We don't get sick THAT bad! Well... usually... But that doesn't matter! Let's go!"

And with small chuckle, you helped her swim faster as the two of you looked for prettiest seashells! Also making sure she get's time to breath every now and then, of course!

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

[iridescentnuances]

5 Movies I'd Show You

Thank you @psalacanthea for always tagging me in games even though I'm not very good at it lol

Okay so with this list, it's going to become pretty obvious that I am a huge weeb. I spent some time thinking about what non-Asian movies I could include. I almost came up with none because weeb foggy brain is foggy. But worst of all, it's really shameful that me, a Spaniard, couldn't come up with a single Spanish recommendation! I will duely reflect upon this tragedy.

So here we go, in no particular order:

One of my favourite musical films of all time, a gut-wrenching tragicomedy about a woman who desperately looks for true love in abusive men. Great acting, great comedic scenes, and when it's time to cry, oh boy does it make me cry. Used to hit too close to home. Can't wait to watch it again after some years.

Okay, when talking Wong Kar-wai, everyone always says how good In the Mood for Love is. I get it. But its sequel hit all the right buttons for me. A man obssessed with the past leaves a trail of emotional corpses. The past never was, as one would think, any better than the present. All that's left is picking up the pieces to try and make something out of the treacherous nostalgia of an unfulfilled romance.

From when I decided to watch each and every Cillian Murphy movie ever. If you liked Girl Interrupted or But I'm a Cheerleader, y'know, any movie about teenagers being committed somewhere, you'll probably like this one. Romance, memorable lines, great soundtrack and honestly, a worthwhile cute ending to dig oneself out of depression.

Hear me out. This movie, this fucking movie. It gets a bad rep for allegedly being too misogynistic and/or too feminist. I wrote my bachelor's thesis about this movie. Twenty-seven pages worth of paper just going on and on about it. I could talk for hours about the book, the adaptation, the authors, the script, eeeeeverything. If you haven't seen it yet in your life, you just have to. If you've already seen it, watch it again and open your mind to it. I won't say anything about it except GOD FORBID WOMEN DO ANYTHING. A very controversial academic opinion, I was told.

The nightmare version of a teenage flick. This one might be my favourite out of Gregg Araki's "Apocalypse Trilogy". If I'm not mistaken, it features all of Araki's tropes: reptilian aliens, problematic bisexuals, at least two pairs of twins, impending doom, and homoerotic longing. It's funny, it's queer, it's horny, it's violent, it's a total freak-out.

Anyone who sees this and wants to do it, consider yourselves tagged!

[little-miss-understood]

Dearest Chloe

Sabrina stared down at the blank page in front of her. In a way, the page seemed to mock her with its emptiness, of a task that was put off for far too long. How many years had she let things lapse, and for what reasons?

She shook her head. No, don't let the past take control. This is about the present and the future, no negative talk!

That was a difficult thing to put into practice, though she was trying. All of her success seemed to come with the help of her therapist, a very kind and understanding woman who encouraged Sabrina to stand up for herself, to embrace who she was...

...and to try and stay away from toxic influences.

-

“The thing about people like Chloe, dear, is that they have to believe they need help before seeking it out. Even then this might take her reaching rock bottom before the realization clicks in. You cannot force it. You have your own life to live and she may not listen to you anyways.”

-

It was a harsh truth. Maybe hearing that was a part of her own “rock bottom”? Sabrina mused about it as her capped pen tapped the top of the paper. Her father was the one who had first noticed something was off, in that she wasn't hanging around Chloe nearly as much now that the other girl had found what appeared to be a true kindred spirit in Lila. Try as she might, she couldn't get in between them...and she wasn't sure that she wanted to. In the end things had just petered out until one day Sabrina realized the other two had left her behind while shopping.

-

“People such as the one you're describing spread lies and half-truths to try and hide something in their own lives. Eventually that cost will have to be paid back; every lie is a debt to the truth. It may not look like it, but as they pile up it can take a toll on one's very soul and Sabrina, you don't strike me as person who wants to wallow in the dark waters.”

-

Madame Archambault was of course correct; the paths that Lila and Chloe were on were far from the person Sabrina truly was. She wanted to stand for the truth, and for justice, and at some point over the years she had strayed hard from those qualities. There was a line she couldn't cross, a line that was kind of evil or to be used in ways she didn't want to even imagine. Truthfully she wasn't even sure Chloe realized what was happening but her pleas fell on deaf ears.

-

“You said that once she locked you into her closet and wouldn't let you out until her homework was completed. Dear, that does not sound like friendship. If anything that sounds like a form of slavery, or servitude. Is that truly something which is worth it in the long run?”

-

No, it wasn't. Sabrina knew this now; that to bend to Chloe's will and do everything for the other girl, up to and including their combined homework, wasn't something born out of their friendship but more out of a twisted desire on her part to not end up alone which Chloe took full advantage of. The force of assertiveness that the other girl could be bent Sabrina to her will, enough that she was waking up in the morning and not recognizing who she was at times. The reflection showed a girl, yes, but one who hid or sacrificed everything for someone else.

-

“Sabrina. I want to assure you: it is alright to be alone. It isn't a bad thing. In fact, you may want to consider stepping away from being involved with your class for a while, even up until the end of the school year. A completely fresh start is coming with lycee, correct? It will allow you to recover and get in better touch with parts of yourself long forgotten, or that you haven't discovered yet.”

-

The advice appealed to Sabrina; because of her long-running status with Chloe she wasn't sure if any in the class would associate with her, let alone want to be friends. After discussing it with her father, she started to look at schools for lycee on the other side of Paris, far from where her current class might apply. It would be a totally new start, and for the time being she asked Madame Bustier to sit on her own somewhere in class. It was at the back but it allowed her to focus and be away from drama. She looked into hobbies long abandoned and took up painting, setting up a corner in her room to put an easel and canvas. 

-

“The exercise that I have for you now is a hard one, but rewarding. It is to write a letter to those who have caused you difficulties, emotional or otherwise. It does not have to be sent, you don't even have to forgive them, dear. But it will allow you to move past the situation.”

-

The last day of the current school year was coming up. Sabrina had wanted this letter to be completed by that time so that she could close the chapter. But closure was proving to be elusive. What could be said to a person that didn't wish to listen or acknowledge the pain they had caused? Chloe had been a big part of her life for so long, enough that the thought of rebuilding after their separation seemed impossible.

However Sabrina had done it. She was well on her way to a lycee which focused on academics, where she hoped to study law. Some of the class had begun to make kind gestures of friendship and she had been invited to a party after graduation. Solitude wasn't as bad as she feared; finally getting used to her own company was a big win in her mind. She could smile at herself in the mirror. Things were going well.

She opened up her pen.

“Dearest Chloe,

Goodbye. And good luck.

Sabrina.”

-

Sabrina wasn't really sure what to do with the letter afterwards. The words were few and she knew that there was one thing to add which would truly sever the connection. It took until halfway through the summer before she worked up enough nerve. Standing outside of the Le Grand Paris hotel she stared down at the envelope that had a distinct bulge inside; a broach pin that Chloe had once given her as a sign of friendship. Or perhaps of buying Sabrina off, she was unsure now of the meaning. She had resolved to give it back or throw it into the Seine, to sever things and get rid of as many reminders of the past as possible.

She had heard Chloe wasn't there, that her mother had taken her somewhere in order to force the girl back in line. Such a fate wasn't what Sabrina would have wished for her in a million years; Audrey Bourgeois was a terrible mother and to be trapped with such a person would more than likely push Chloe in directions she didn't even want to think about. At the same time, Sabrina knew it was out of her control: even if she wanted to, Chloe was far out of sight and mind. The letter was left with a doorman and she turned to look back at the imposing building. A lot of her spare time was spent there, willingly and not. This was probably a place she'd never set foot in again, which was...alright. She had closed the chapter somewhat, and it was a success she'd bring up in therapy.

A bright smile crossed her face as she walked home.

[thehaniverse]

[24.05.19] Haikyuu Movie Review

FINALLY!

I initially thought I'd be able to watch the movie online when it dropped back in February, but none of the usual suspects were uploading the damn movie, so I was dying trying to avoid spoilers online, but I'm glad I managed to until it was finally revealed to be showing in Korea!

Let me tell you, as a multilingual person, there is no bigger brain-fuck than watch a movie in a second language with subtitles in your third, but considering Haikyuu is my favourite anime of all time, I just couldn't wait anymore.

So, after such an arduous wait, was the movie actually worth it?

HELL YEAH!

Heads up, I've written this without any spoilers, as I also went into this without reading the manga (intentionally.)

Intially, I, like many other fans, was disappointed that the movie was ,in fact, a movie rather than a 5th season, but after watching it, I totally understand why they decided to do it this way. If they'd done it as a series of episodes, it ran the risk of being too slow-paced, which was one of the major criticisms of the 4th season.

The pacing of the movie was perfect - the right level of slow emotional flashbacks to add context without being too repetitive of past seasons, while still being fast-paced and action-packed throughout the game.

I also loved the unique perspective they gave in this movie, it's something they've never done to this extent throughout the anime, and honestly, something I haven't seen in other anime I've watched. The chaotic energy really made you feel like you were more than just a spectator and the disorientation made everything so much more tense - I LOVED it. (I honestly wanted to watch the whole movie again there and then just to experience that part again.)

One thing I've always loved about Haikyuu is the ability of the writer to make you appreciate just how hard these kids are working, and the background and character growth throughout the movie honestly left me teary-eyed at the end - the character development continues to be one of my favorite parts of this anime. There's honestly so much I want to say about this but due to spoilers, I'll have to hold back for a while until the screenings have taken place worldwide. Maybe I'll write a part 2 after additional viewings.

Finally, let's talk about the ending. Man. This was an interesting experience for me because Nekoma is actually my favorite team LOL but of course, as viewers, we can't help but root for Karasuno. Every point and every play was bittersweet but nothing hit as much as the ending, rather than any overwhelming sense of joy for the winner, it was more that sinking feeling of 'oh, it's really over? Just like that?" I imagine this is how the losing time would feel in every game, you always want to believe there's another chance, or that the end isn't really the end yet, it was very surreal.

The best parallel I can draw is the sinking feeling I had when Karasuno first lost to Aoba Josei. Yet at the same time, because of the growth of all the characters, it was still a beautiful ending.

Ultimately, it was everything you'd expect from Haikyuu, I laughed, I cried, I fought back screams in the theatre XD I really do want to reassure anyone who thinks the movie replacing a season will be lackluster - it was anything but! I hope you enjoy the viewing and I'd love to hear your thoughts after.

[hirukochan]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Thanks for the tag, @loneamaryllis

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

12!

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

874,060 - When did that get so much??? I've only picked writing back up in January!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently mainly Harry Potter and I have one Rings of Power fanfic on hiatus (for now). I used to write for all sorts of fandoms though! Pirates of the Caribbean, The Hobbit, Percy Jackson, Marvel, Vampire Diaries, Naruto - to name a few.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

"Your tears are of no relevance to me", my dark Snape/reader fic

2. Cigarette smoke, Profanities and Stolen Kisses, Snape/reader smut

3. A Servant of Death, my Snape/OC longfic, my baby, my beloved

4. Carrying Atlas, Deeply traumatised, sarcastic Snape/broken Harrie ddlg/pet play fic with much hurt and even more comfort

5. Stood-up, my three-part Snape/former student!reader oneshot/mini-fic

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to reply to each one! I love to hear what people think and interact with readers!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I don't actually have that many fics finished 😅

I love long fics, I love reading them and I love writing them so most of my works are still ongoing (and seem to be staying ongoing for a while to come 😅)

I'd say Petrichor. It's a Voldemort-wins AU so things are bound to look hopeless and dark.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Severus and his Sunshine!!!! A very fluffy, hopful ending 🥰

8. Do you get hate on fics?

After initially posting A Servant of Death II quite a few readers were angry the story would not be moving into a direction they wanted. Haven't gotten any since.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes 😃

I write Dom/sub mostly! Proper D/s (apart from my dark!fics) with safewords and boundaries and aftercare! I love including kink-wear and collars and other fun toys! All sorts of kinks, lighter and a few darker, more taboo kinks. Lots of bondage!!

Also dub-con and dark smut and I'm venturing into poly and threesome territory lately.

Basically anything I find interesting or worth exploring!

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

No. I had a rather ambitious crossover idea when I was a teen about a group of people chosen by the gods I had created to protect the universes of the world with every book/show/movie in existance being a universe that had been locked away by some evil supernatural beings. Each of the four people in the group could travel between the universes and had to fix the timelines if things went wrong. Basically all the misery happening in the stories was the supernatural beings messing with the universes. I wrote the first part that played in The Hobbit and started the second part that would take place in Naruto but I never continued the project.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of but I do know that after I published my first HP fic on Wattpad back when I was...uff idk 13?? suddenly everybody in the german marauders fandom was writing Voldemort's daughter fics. I thought that was interesting since I wrote mine because I couldn't find any Voldemort's child fics in german (my english was shit at the time, I'm sure otherwise I would have found plenty to read! 😂)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope! But someone once made a podfic of my Adventcalender one-shot collection (with my permission). I don't think it's still online though. (god I hope not, those were terrible 😬)

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No and I don't think I ever will. My mind is a strange and cluttered space and teamwork has never been a strong suit. I've been asked though, but that was more of a 'I have x-idea, will you write it for me?' then an actual inquiry.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Ummmmm....OCs. Everybody/OC. I love OC's. I love reading them, creating them, I love that I can have a person whose weaknesses and strength and personality fit my fav characters perfectly, especially since my fav characters tend to be unsocial loners with terrible trauma.

Apart from that I'm not much of a shipper...Snarriet probaly (thanks to @loneamaryllis - you know what you did 😑, jokes aside I've been thoroughly enjoying this ship and the community is so sweet!)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I sure hope I'll finish them all! Strawberries and Sin is being neglected right now 😅 but I love the characters and I'm certainly not planing on abandoning the story!

16. What are your writing strengths?

I like to think I'm good at worldbuilding, I certainly enjoy expanding existing universes with my own ideas! Whether it's by adding an entire Vampire monarchy including an origin story of how vampires came to exist or World Duelling Championships for my heir of a rich pureblood family to power herself out at.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I never know if I describe things enough, surroundings, emotions, etc. I think I tend to fixate on what a character is doing with their hands 😂

Also I can get lost in developing the relationship between two characters and forget to advance the plot just to then focus on the plot and neglect the characters 😅 still trying to find a balance there.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Been there, done that! I think it can be fun.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Written? Naruto! I was nine I think and I had no idea that fanfiction even exists or that other people were writing them! I just wrote down a truly terrible story on an old notepad I had.

The first fandom I created stories for in my mind was Harry Potter at around nine!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

A fic that is currently not on the internet anymore that I want to rework and publish once I've worked through some WIPs. It's about Snape and his best friend from an opressed people who both ended up joining Voldemort for good intentions and end up in his bed (two Death Eaters eagerly serving their new master 😏) but quickly realise he is not what he promised to be.

From my published fics it's a draw between A Servant of Death and 'Your tears are of no relevance to me'!

Tagging anyone who wants to do it 🫶🏻💖

[matan4il]

Good morning, sweet Alice!! I hope everything is OK with you. I was off for a bit and am catching up. I just want to say thank you for sharing your personal story about being scared at the museum. I am so sorry you felt that way, but I do think it's important to spread awareness since the media clearly won't. I am often shocked sometimes when I talk to someone who just doesn't get how bad antisemitism has gotten. We are in grant writing season for the festival, and weekly, I talk to people from all over about what they face. Especially those who traveled to Isreal over the holidays. Sometimes, actually hearing it from someone they know carries so much more weight than something you glance over in the news. So thank you, and if there is anything we can ever do help, I hope you say so. BTW isn't your birthday approaching?

And just to throw in some Buddie love.. I was dying at the team putting them in those suits for their oceans 11 poker night. Like we saw them suit up for Hens wedding and they were super fine.. However, can I just add those suits were a level up and definitely a statement. Just a loud total statement. Can you imagine 2 over 30 guys you know showing up anywhere looking like that and you are just like, look the 2 super hedro platonic crime fighting raising kid together duo arrived to the party and there is absolutely everything normal about their outfits!! So as always to the 911 tem I thank you!!

Hi hon! I'm so happy to hear from you! I noticed you went a bit quiet, and was just hoping everything's alright for you... I'm really glad to hear you are! *picks you up and twirls you round*

And no, thank YOU for being so kind to me! I really can't express how much it means to me. So I'm just gonna have to hug you extra tight, if that's okay? And yeah, the media is a business. It will only tell the story it thinks it can gain something from. I am CONSTANTLY shocked by how bad antisemitism is getting, and how little is done about it. I have a post queued up that, to say it shocked me is just... not enough. I could post once every single day about the rise in antisemitism, and it still wouldn't be enough. It breaks my heart to hear from Jewish kids who visit our Holocaust museum about how they're harassed and bullied for sharing that they're going to Israel to see family, friends or even simply to get to see the sights of their ancestral homeland. It's insane to me that this is what we've come to less than 100 years after the end of the Holocaust. No "Never again!" statement is worth a damn thing if this is how Jewish kids get treated. Thank you again, for listening to the voices of distressed Jews, for wanting to hear us, for being so kind to us when we speak! I did say a few words here about what can be done for starters. But really, anything to raise awareness regarding how Jews are being targeted worldwide. In this context, thank you for what you do at your job, too! *HUGS FOREVER*

Aaaah, my birthday! I haven't had a chance to think about it with everything that's been going on in real life. XD It's less than two months away, I was born June 5th. Thank you for caring about it! :***

LOL I couldn't agree with you more regarding Buddie and their VERY OBVIOUS DATE COUTURE. Like, their suits for the Henren wedding were respectable. Their suits for the poker date were MEANT TO ENTICE. They were SHARP and SEDUCTIVE. Even on the level of the fabrics chosen for the suits! Let alone the colors, they way our boys carried themselves in them, and the way the suits worked together to make them look like an actual couple, almost as if they coordinated beforehand. There was NOTHING platonic about ANY of the poker shenanigans, suits included, and I still feel half mad whenever I think about it. ;D

Thank you so much again, my darling! I hope you're having a good day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[thelasttime]

I have no one to genuinely ask for advice on this matter and I feel like you’d give me an answer that I’ll listen to. I’ve been in no contact with this guy for 3 months now due to several reasons. I pushed him away because I am practically making him decide whether he is serious about me or not even after a year and a half of knowing each other and having a relationship. he just stopped being loving towards me (literally you’re losing me) so I decided to cut off contact and hope that we’ll be better later on and see if we’re truly meant to be. He did break no contact once after one month, and he said he missed me. But I pushed him away, and so we haven’t spoken in 3 months since then. My birthday passed a week ago and I was hoping he’d reach out to me and break no contact, but he didn’t. He got one of my mutuals to tell me that he says happy birthday. I was sad and hurt by his lack of effort, he couldn’t directly message me a happy birthday. 😞 but I keep making excuses for him because I love him too much. And ever since then, I’ve had this strong urge to gift him something for his birthday. I feel so stupid and irrational to do something as simple as having a gift delivered at his door for his birthday, but at the same time I love him way too much to not do anything for his birthday. I don’t want to message him, I want to go all out and gift him something and have it delivered to him unexpectedly. Should I do this? Or am I crazy? will it backfire? Would he message me? should I give it a shot? Depending on what he does afterwards, it’ll give me some reassurance of what we could be or how he truly feels about me. But I mainly want to do this simply because I love him so much.

hi anon!! first, thank you for sending me this ask and trusting me with this information. i hope my answer helps, but i also hope that you know that i'm always here if you want to talk to someone! i don't know the complete story, but this is what i think based off of what you've sent me:

if he's known you for a year and half and he's already shown you that kind of behavior where he's losing interest and showing less love (the part about "you're losing me") - i'm just questioning if this is worth it for you. i've been in a pretty similar situation where i've held onto someone for years and years in the hopes that he would eventually realize that he was serious about me and that i was serious about him too. it's funny because i think i laid out all my cards and i'm sure you did too, but both of these people weren't ready (nor deserving)

what i learned from this situation and what i hope will help you too is this line from the perks of being a wallflower which says "we accept the love we think deserve." what this means is that we often settle for less because we don't think we deserve more. what i learned was that i was settling for someone because i thought i wouldn't get anything in life better than him. that there was no possible way for me to find anyone better and i couldn't find myself moving on because of the feelings and memories we already shared.

then there's this realization that i hope you might share with me which is that you are deserving of so much more love. i hope this doesn't come off as too cold or too blunt, but i worry that you're allowing yourself to settle for this person who's already shown you that they're not willing to care more even when they were given so many chances.

i hope you know that you deserve someone who knows they want you as soon as they meet you. you deserve someone who doesn't play games or sends messages through their friends just to say happy birthday. maybe there isn't some grand glorious ending to this story and maybe it's just a quiet fade, but i just wonder if it's worth making this birthday gift for him if he wasn't willing to do that for you (i apologize if this is hard to hear and i could be wrong too!!)

i hope this is helpful. i totally support you if you still want to go through the birthday gift because i too would do that 😭 i'm not saying i'm a perfect human because i would absolutely do what you want to do right now. but that want, from what i've learned, is based on holding onto something that you've already invested a lot of time and love into without realizing that you deserve so much more.

there are lot of people out there, and i think anyone who has the luck to be someone special to you should appreciate every moment of your love

[youmissedone]

The moment she said he was acting like a different person, Carlos assumed he was a dead man. Maybe not this minute. Maybe not today, even. But soon. It was coming, because there was no getting past this clone's inability to see past her own programming, even if he thought he saw moments of it here and there. Was he just seeing what he wanted? Wishful thinking, maybe? Every time he thought he had an opening or saw a glimmer of hope, she went right back into either conditioning or memories that he was pretty sure didn't exist. She was a tough nut to crack, and even if he could, he wasn't sure there was anything inside worth saving.

And this was why Carlos would forevermore make the world's worst spy. The stealth aspect he had down pat, that wasn't a problem for him at all. But the lying... and playing a role for someone or something he wasn't? God, he sucked so badly at that. Even when his literal life depended on it, he still couldn't make it work. Well, maybe I'll get into heaven for trying my best like a good boy, he thought with an almost playful sort of cynicism.

The way Carlos saw it, there was no way he was coming out of this alive. So the next best thing was... how do I stop her from reaching Alice and the others, even if I have to take myself out in the process? Yeah, he was still coming up completely empty on that. Sleep might help, but... sleeping around this clone? That wasn't going to be easy, or restful.

As she went into the story of her childhood, Carlos found himself thoroughly confused, though he tried not to let it show on his face. Did she think... that she was the original Rain? He'd been under the impression that the commando clones knew they were clones, but... the more this one spoke, the more it sounded like she had a whole past that had been programmed into her mind. Total heartless bitch of a clone or not, Carlos actually found himself feeling sympathy for her at that point. This was really sick, what Umbrella was doing to real human beings, regardless of their origin, and really, at the end of the day, it wasn't her fault she was the way she was. She'd been made that way.

"Is that why you're so loyal to Umbrella?" Carlos asked, his gaze flickering over to her. If he was gonna die anyway, he may as well try to understand her first. "Because they saved you? Gave you purpose? Trained to survive so you don't end up like your family?" His tone and the tone he was trying to convey by way of his clone ruse were actually one and the same... a tone of genuinely trying to understand, one devoid of mockery or patronizing.

As Rain talked about Alice's empathy and how strange a concept it was for her to grasp, Carlos realized something very disturbing. There was a difference between someone who understood what empathy was and just... chose not to have any. Someone who didn't place any value in it, and who didn't think others were deserving of it and honestly didn't care whether or not they received it. There was a difference between that... and someone who was genetically created to not even feel it. And maybe... not even to understand it.

The way Rain spoke of empathy and altruism as she'd observed it in other clones and in Alice, made Carlos think she genuinely didn't understand the concept. Not... the meaning of the word, but rather how it felt to have empathy, and why. Very much a... what's in it for them, I don't get it... mentality. It both fascinated Carlos and made him just a wee bit afraid of this Rain. She was wired differently from him and Alice, from what he perceived and knew as "normal." That made her an unpredictable black box he knew he was going to have real trouble working with.

It was amusing, though, to hear her try to describe his OG friend Rain. A soft, defective loser? Oh man, he could practically see Rain coming back from the dead just to tear this bitch a new one in his mind's eye. It was all he could do not to laugh out loud at the mental image.

"No, you're wrong," he said. Again, if he was going to die, then why not go at this ruse with teeth? Clones were assertive assholes, right? At least the paramilitary ones were? So let's do this. He shook his head as his gaze lifted to hers once more. "About what Project Alice meant, I mean. Yeah, I'm guessing she encountered other clones before. Maybe even befriended them, given her track record of empathy. Seeing us must've made her emotional," he said in the most sterile voice possible. "But I don't think that clone of you was a soft, defective loser, at least not to Project Alice. When she said, 'All heart,' it was sarcasm. Could you not detect that?" Now who's defective? "Snark and sarcasm... and a slight note of affection. They were as clear as anything to me."

He shrugged it off a moment later, though, and played the fool for her benefit. "When she looked at me, I saw... emotional vulnerability. I wonder what that means. Aren't you the least bit curious? What if she did know other versions of us? What if she valued them, and that's why she looked at us that way? I'd be interested to know the story behind that, wouldn't you?"

[Sooo... saw that ask about Carlos and clones, and it made Bad Rain wanna say hi] Rain silently assessed the man in front of her from behind the dark-tinted goggles of her gas mask. After her little dinner date in the ocean, her retinal implants started malfunctioning and she could no longer discern if this was a new Carlos or what. "...I thought you were dead," she stated.

Carlos was pretty sure he was the last man standing as far as whoever was still left inside the quickly-failing facility. On their side, that is. There were still plenty of clones running around, and Jill had beaten him to the midget submarines with whoever she still had with her. At least nobody had noticed he was still kicking, or that he'd taken one of them for himself. He barely knew how to work it, but right now it was his only chance. The failing facility was quickly flooding from every angle, so he had to get out of there fast.

Alice and the others were long gone as well - he hoped, anyway - and Barry... Well, Barry hadn't made it. Maybe that was for the best, considering the injuries he'd gotten from that uber licker had probably doomed him anyway unless they could locate some of the antivirus. Carlos had stood by him until the end, hoping they'd bought enough time for Alice and the others to escape.

Carlos wouldn't have figured Alice would agree to leave him behind, but... hey, there was a child involved, and someone had to buy time somewhere. Barry was already screwed and Carlos... was kindof used to taking one for the team. His narrow escape from death back in Nevada was proof of that. He didn't blame Alice one damn bit for taking the opportunity and getting the hell out. At the end of the day, people like her and him were protectors, and sometimes protectors didn't walk away with their lives.

That didn't mean he wasn't going to try. Laying down and dying for no damn good reason wasn't something Carlos was about. He was gonna try to fight his way out of here, or he was gonna make his death useful in some way. So he'd taken one of the midgets subs, donned the trappings of his clone from whatever Umbrella commando attire he could find stored in it, and set out. He didn't know who he was going to run into, after all.

It was a while before he encountered Jill's sub, with any and all communications having been wrecked by all that water. And of course, he didn't have the benefit of any retinal implants. Surfacing so he could get out and see what had gone down, he was met with a disappointing scene. There was no sign of Alice, Becky, Leon, or the rest of the strike team. Except... for Luther. Poor bastard. Luther had been a good guy, and Carlos was sorry to see he'd met his end here. Jill and her clone army wasn't anywhere to be seen either, though. Where did everybody go?

He turned when he suddenly heard Rain's voice, of course knowing she was a clone. Any Rain he ran into anywhere was a clone at this point. He'd heard Alice's tearful accounts of what had happened to the original Rain enough times to know for sure that she was completely dead. Silently, Carlos told himself to be careful, play the part.

When she said she thought he was dead, he had to resist the urge to crack some kind of joke. That was what came naturally to him, something to the effect of , rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated or, I'm a lot harder to kill than that. But clone Carlos wouldn't make jokes. About himself... or the fact that Rain was drenched. What'd you do, decide to take a dip in the ocean? Nope, he had to play it straight.

"No. And neither are you, it seems," he answered flatly, still holding his rifle at the ready, acting like he was suspicious of her for a moment, before lowering it. "Rest of the team is, though. Whatever that explosion was let half the ocean in and took everyone out. I'm blind here, save for the GPS system in the sub. No comms, no maps, no target scanners, nothing. The salt water fucked with all of it," he said, acting annoyed yet also restrained about it. "Where's Project Alice and the rest of the intruders? What about Chief Valentine?" he asked, remembering the various monikers he'd heard the Red Queen use inside the facility.

There just hadn't been enough time, though, to perfect everything before Rain showed up, and Carlos knew these clones were smart. They were engineered that way. So he hoped his outfit was on correctly, that all his major scars were covered, and that he didn't have too much of a haggard five o' clock shadow. Anything like that could give him away, and he knew he couldn't take on a clone version of Rain alone... especially when he knew the clones had access to Las Plagas enhancements that made them damn near indestructible...