#i couldn't fall asleep until 6:30 this morning because of this man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

rivsaeya · 15 days ago

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I bet Santa hates time

When I was 6, I pretty much knew who Santa Claus was. He's a fat old man with a big and snowy beard. He wears a rather comfy red and white top and matching trousers, and of course, his big black boots and wide buckled belt. He visited my home once a year with his six helpful elves to put several toys for me and my brothers under the big Christmas tree. Sad thing about it is that Santa is too shy and would only place gifts when me and my brothers were behaving correctly, and only when we were asleep.

Whenever it is the night of the 24th of December, my brothers and I would quickly head to bed as early as 7 in the evening to sleep and wake up with gifts under the dark, slightly shone Christmas tree by the small Christmas lights in between our windows. The next thing I know, my eyes were very much awake and my head couldn't be put to rest, so I would run to my mom and ask to be gently rubbed on my back to help me sleep. My mom's technique somehow worked because I'd randomly wake up in my bed on the morning of December 25th, unbeknownst to how I got there when hours earlier, I was just in my mom's embrace. I would quickly disregard of the thought and head straight to the Christmas tree, and with my pupils dilated, my hands shaking, and my heart thumping loud and fast, there it was was in my sight, the gifts Santa Claus had given for me and my brothers. As quickly as how a cheetah might run, I then took my 3 big-bagged gifts, carefully opened it, and there they were, my cool Mclaren hot wheels and big remote-controlled excavators. My cheeks would quickly become rounded and my eyes would temporarily disappear as a smile had been carved across my face and my teeth were highly visible. This sight would be seen by both of my parents and they would smile back at me and I would then run to them, with my arms dangling side to side, and I'd run myself over my mother's lap and I would then demand to be carried by my father. All of the time, they would ask me, "Do you like your gifts, Ping?", and before a thought had even appeared in my mind, I would automatically answer, "Yes, I love these so much, I love you and thank you so much, Mimi and Papa".

Shortly after those events, my relatives and cousins arrived at our doorstep hour after hour, and me, my brothers, and my cousins would gather in a room to play mutiplayer games. While these were happening, we would laugh ourselves out, with the karaoke echoing through the house halls, my father laughing loudly with my grandpas and uncles, my mother checking up on my grandmas and my aunts, and before I forget, there would be a pleasant flavourful aroma that could be sniffed across the whole corners of the house, with the scratching cooking pans and sizzling noises. When dusk falls, my cousins and I would form "bedforts" to sleep together and wake up when it would be the time to eat. It is indeed just as planned, we woke up, there were lots of viands and drinks placed on our food table, and my parents and relatives could be seen in the living room, singing together and laughing together. My cousins and I would ironically call them angrily because we're getting hungry when they were literally the one who just woke us up. The whole family gathers across the food table and we'd pray together, after praying, the phrase "Merry Christmas" could be heard almost everywhere in the house, and a warm sensation could be felt across the house and my cousins and I would eat in a single spot, often times we'd crowd ourselves so much because we didn't want to be separated. After eating, we would head to our bedrooms and play until we would be sleepy, but that would be a long hour to go because we'd want to make the most out of every Christmas together. In the following days, specifically on December 30, we would celebrate my birthday and it would be the best birthday I'd ever have because the family was complete, my parents, my brothers, my cousins, my grandparents, and my aunts and uncles were all there. It would be my best Christmas season and birthday ever, where up until now, I'd get teary trying to recall those memories I longed to experience again. The day after celebrating my birthday, the house would then become spacious and I would heavily cry because all my grandparents, cousins, and relatives would have gone home to their places to celebrate New Year. I'd go as far as to say that it could be one of the worst feelings I've felt because in the following days, I would feel so empty and sad because everything is over. However, the feeling of grief and emptiness is a good indicator that I've spent my Christmas and birthday well and it's a memory worth holding on to. It's the perfect Christmas essence for me.

Several years have passed and everything changed. I don't believe in Santa anymore, my brothers and I doesn't sleep together on the 24th of December to wake up on the morning of December 25th anymore, I could easily sleep on the night of December 24th and I wouldn't feel the need to run to my mom to help me sleep anymore. I mean, my grandparents, cousins, and relatives would come to our home, but we don't celebrate Christmas the way we used to anymore. My cousins would be stuck on their smartphones, and I would find myself struggling to speak to them because I would feel shy and there's something that's constraining me to speak to them. After some time, I'd figure a way to talk to them but it would only be for a short time, and we'd get stuck on our smartphones again and we'd let a day pass by without a meaningful interaction. As usual, they would go back to their places after my birthday and their departure doesn't leave an effect to me the way it used to. I don't feel the grief and emptiness anymore, it's more like a normal day that has casually passed. I would ask myself, was that really Christmas? But I would suddenly remember that all of my past Christmas weren't really the complete essence of Christmas. Christmas is about celebrating the birth of our saviour, Jesus Christ, who saved us from our sins and brought peace to the world we know today. Christmas is about celebrating Christ's birth along with our loved ones, and even when it didn't feel the same way as it used to, what's important is we get to celebrate it with our loved ones still with us, and with us, celebrating and thanking our Lord and Jesus Christ for the goodness they brought for us.

Even with all this, I would still find myself asking myself the same question over and over again. "Why did my Christmas change?", I think that the answer to this is perhaps, it's not really Christmas that changed, it's because time really does fly. When we were still young and innocent, our minds were focused on staying happy and finding excitement in everything we do, but as growing individuals, our viewpoints and priorities would change, which in turn, changes parts of us. I don't believe in Santa anymore because I grew up. My brothers and I do not sleep together anymore because we grew up. I wouldn't run to my mom to sleep anymore because I grew up. I wouldn't find cool McLaren hot wheels and remote-controlled excavators in my gifts anymore because I grew up. My cousins and I do not sleep and play together anymore because we grew up. In this sense, I blame it all on time. Time changed the Christmas I usually experienced. Christmas didn't feel the way it was supposed to feel when I was younger. Time is honestly so confusing for me. One day, nothing seems to change, and suddenly, everything is different. Realizing that I'm powerless to turn back time, it's my worst truth to accept that everything only lasts for a moment, and while they do last for a lifetime, but only in our minds, and that includes the Christmas I've felt when I was a kid. Are we that powerless wherein we are bound to live in nostalgia every single day because of a passed moment that we really wanted to experience twice? I like to think that maybe, time is just a cruel being where it makes us live a beautiful moment, and it tortures us by making us long for it for the rest of our lives.

When I was writing this, memories came in waves, and I was drowning.

#PlatE-Techtonic #time

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dzpenumbra · 1 year ago

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7/6/23

Well whatta ya know, it's 5 AM again. Today was fucking weird.

I woke up like 3 times, but ended up getting a cumulative 8 hours... but still felt exhausted all day. Yoga was fine but my workout was really intense and I ended up almost hitting a wall where my muscles just couldn't push anymore due to weakness. That wasn't fun. But I got through it.

I was incredibly inspired yesterday, and today... fell flat. I got a lot of cleaning done, which I was totally into for some reason. But I tried to stream and work and I was just... falling asleep the whole time. And I couldn't figure out what to do, and I had been going for 2 hours... and no one was watching anyway... so I just ended the stream and played Hades. It's not the end of the world. I just... I guess it's just exhaustion? I don't know. I just feel really deflated. Which is so far from where I was yesterday.

Guess I'm just having an off-day.

I ordered stuff to make my own granola and trail mix, so I should have plenty of breakfast and snacks on hand. The catch is... I'm completely out until that gets here between 5-7 tomorrow. I guess that's not the worst thing anyway, it's not like I eat before then anyhow.

Such a weird schedule I'm on. I haven't been finishing my coffee until like 8:30 PM. I don't know how to fix it at this point. Not sure if I even need to. Very disorienting.

Ugh, I'm feeling very sluggish.

I found something this morning that really upset me. It was a big mark on my window where I think a mourning dove hit. There was bird shit splattered on the window and a little down feather on it, and a wing mark. I really hope it was okay, I've been feeling really really guilty all day. And I have no idea how to clean it. I'm on the second floor and if I open my window... it kinda just slides in and overlaps the other window? If that makes sense? And I can't really reach far enough to clean it. I tried and got some of it with my spray bottle, but yeah. I'm having second thoughts about the birdfeeder. It's only the doves that are... not the most agile in the world... I haven't had any problems at all with the Nuthatches or Cardinals or Blue Jays or Finches or Chickadees. But the doves were very clumsy and started showing up in groups of 4 or 5 toward the end there. So I just... didn't refill the feeder yet. And I'm going to sorta sit and think on that. Whether it's worth birds putting their lives in danger just so I can be closer to nature.

It brings up that concept of ahimsa again, "not harming". It's an obsession for me, at a Tartarus-like level. I am constantly obsessing about how my actions could harm others - physically, emotionally, psychologically - and I justify it under the guise of "mindfulness". But, ironically, this obsession is a form of self-flagellation, self-punishment... for things I haven't even done... which is... wait for it... self-harm. Man, what a guiltless life it must be to not give half a shit if you hurt other living beings in any way. I don't really know how to process reflecting on how I have harmed others. Or how to feel about the harm that comes to others by their own actions, but my actions played a role in that situation coming to pass? If that makes sense? Like... the bird. It's a sorta silly example to some, I'm sure, but go with me. If I hadn't refilled the birdfeeder, they wouldn't have gotten in the habit of coming to my window, and it wouldn't have smacked the window at some point and hurt itself. If I had noticed that they were congregating a bit too often (which I did notice), and removed the birdseed... that bird might not have come back. That's two possible alternate timelines in which that bird might have not hit the window, because of my decisions. Now... the fact that I did not make those decisions, does that mean that I directly caused that bird harm? That I essentially trained that bird to develop a dangerous habit? Or... did that bird make a dangerous decision on its own and harm itself? Where is that line?

Defining the lines on this is very hard. It's like rocket fuel for anxiety. What if? What if? What if? "If I go for a walk and pass by someone and my presence (my tattoos, the way I'm dressed, I don't know) makes someone uncomfortable, does that mean I have caused them emotional harm or does that mean that they are suffering from their own judgement?" "If I am in a conflict with someone who I want to preserve a relationship with, and they start accusing me of causing harm to them by doing something I am not doing... do I defend myself, and possibly cause more harm?" Infinite situations, infinite questions.

You'd think... that just having good, pure, pacifistic intentions would be enough. You'd think that just devoting your life to doing your very best to just breathe in self-love and breath out love for others, and cultivating the best Self you can muster that day would be enough. It seems miles beyond the goals of most people I've met in my life, who only really seem concerned with "winning" or making money or acquiring some material goal or just surviving through the day. But what do you do when your love... is misinterpreted?

A memory came to me. From a mushroom trip. I'm still in this weird place where... when you get older, your distant memories... they can get blurry sometimes. Like... you can be unsure if that's the exact memory or if it kinda blended together with a movie you saw around that time? If that makes sense? Add in hallucinogens and it really ups the ante, I'll tell you that.

This memory was a mushroom trip in a small rural village in the woods. We were in a country house that my friends were renting, and we prepared a pizza and put shrooms on it and I ended up eating the equivalent of 1/4 ounce. I'm pretty sure it was winter, or at least late fall. We went upstairs, it was incredibly dark... man, I can actually see the interior of this house, the dark wooden floors and bannisters, the sorta stucco popcorn ceiling stuff. I can see the actual layout of the house, it's crazy how vivid that memory is. We all went upstairs, but apparently someone turned the heater on, which was like... an actual furnace with fire in it in the basement. When we were upstairs, we played music. I remember it being spectacular. And I remember we played a cover of "No Rain" at one point. And we talked and shit, we were all sitting on a mattress on the floor in the room, I guess it was someone's bedroom. And they all left at some point, and I was up there alone after. And... I don't know if it was on in the background the whole time... but the movie Bruce Almighty was on. And I've experienced this twice now while on mushrooms... where if I'm watching a movie, one of the characters breaks the fourth wall and talks directly to me. And in my perception of the film, the rest of the movie is a blur, it's like... black and white and filler content... and then the scenes with the specific character are full-color and talking directly to me. And in this case, it was Morgan Freeman. And that really got in my head a bit, mostly because this had happened in the past... and I was alone experiencing this. And I have an anxiety disorder... (aka I get scared by surreal shit pretty intensely, and it's a very visceral emotional response) So... either the movie ended or I turned it off, I don't really remember which... but I was left in a dark room. I don't think it was completely dark, maybe there was static or a blue screen from the DVD player or something. And the ceiling was doing that fractal melty swirl visual thing, I remember that vividly. And then came the part that I'm afraid might be an overlapping memory of a film because of how... outlandish yet profound the experience was. I encountered... something. This is so hard to put into words... not the actual image of what I experienced, but how I perceived it. I don't feel like I perceived this as an actual manifestation standing directly in front of me, like I could reach out and touch it... but like... kinda like a shadow out of the corner of your eye... but in front of me. Or seeing something in your mind's eye... kinda? I don't know, I'm struggling to explain. But it was... like a giant mass of eyes. And I remember it unfurling a gigantic scroll of aged parchment and... at no point did it speak, it sorta... I just sorta knew what it was doing. It was reading me a list of all of my sins, all of the wrongs I had done. And I reeled, and I cowered like a child, and I curled into the fetal position on the mattress in the corner of the room until someone came up and found me. Apparently, they all went outside or something and it was like 200 degrees upstairs, because they left the heater on blast and all the heat went upstairs. I was fine after all this, there were some normal mushroom antics after that, but nothing nearly as profound as that experience.

That experience stuck with me for over 15 years. It changed a lot of my understanding of myself. Regardless of whether what I experienced was a projection of my imagination, or my subconscious, or an experience with an actual entity... it really doesn't matter to me. Because my big takeaway from that... is the classic spirit journey. The right of passage. The original purpose that tribal cultures used these mushrooms for, ceremonially. That was supposed to be a moment where I "became a man". Spiritually. Where I looked at my demon, my Achilles' Heel, my deepest fear and greatest weakness... and I did not back down. I shared the room with it, and met it as a peer. That is what a guide would most likely have aided with, or helped me translate from my experience after the fact. I thought for over a decade that I was face-to-face with Judgement. The eyes, the list... but... ever since studying Tarot... I really feel like the archetype that fits closest to that is Justice. True Justice, whatever spiritual language you want to translate that into. An aspect of God? Maybe an angel? Karma? Causality? I don't know. I've never really had a language for stuff like that since I grew up without any form of religion.

But I functioned for a long time on the assumption that Judgement was keeping score, and letting me know that nothing is forgotten. Which we could get pretty deep on how that's a pretty clear metaphor for my family and my upbringing... But more than that... the interesting part is that... I never interpreted that being as... a deliverer of Justice. More just... informing me so that I can go ahead and punish myself with guilt and shame. And hell, maybe that's part of the Justice, yeah? Or maybe it's indicative of a completely separate problem.

Why am I rambling about this when I should be in bed? This is a big core of my anxiety. Fear of Judgement, fear of false Justice. That despite my best efforts to be a truly good and kind and loving and honest person, someone's going to come along and put a fucking gun to my temple because they don't like the way I look. Or I accidentally made eye contact or walked down the wrong street. Maybe a bit of an exaggeration... but the feeling is of the same root.

And that... that makes this whole "non-harm" thing really messy and confusing. Because the road to Hell is paved with good intentions. So... do you get bad Karma if you have the world's best intentions and are pure of heart... but trip and accidentally hurt someone? I mean, it's technically causing harm...

I don't know, it's been in the back of my mind, I haven't been able to shake it. Food for thought. No tarot tonight again, until I can get my sleep sorted out... eventually.

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of thoughts #stream of consciousness

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ryswritingrecord · 2 years ago

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Can't Stay Mad

Dom!Eddie x Fem!Reader

18+!!!

WC: 3.5k

Warnings: SMUT, Daddy kink, choking, oral sex (fem receiving), piv sex, unprotected sex (Don't be silly, wrap your willy. At least irl)

A/N: Fluff to smut to fluff. You can tell when the smut is coming if you want to skip. As a 6 foot plus size woman, I tried to be as inclusive as possible for all heights, weights, skin tone, hair types, etc. This is my first time 1.) Writing smut, 2.) Writing a one-shot, and 3.) Writing for Eddie, so I'm super nervous. Any feedback is appreciated. Happy reading <3

It was Thursday night. You were supposed to be at your boyfriend's trailer cuddled up with him watching the latest horror film to appear at Family Video. After school, you waited by Eddie’s van so you guys could go pick up the movie and some snacks. As you sat there waiting Eddie came up to you to let you know he had a quick Hellfire emergency that should only take 30 minutes. He gave you the keys to his van and told you to go get everything ready and that he’d catch a ride with Gareth.

:read more:

That was 3 hours ago.

At 6:30 you decided to order some pizza for dinner while waiting for Eddie. At 8 you decided to take a shower and get ready for bed. At 10 you decided you would just read until you fell asleep or he got home, whichever came first. And by 11:30, you were passed out in Eddie’s bed, wearing his oversized hoodie and wishing that the smell of his cologne was coming off of him and not his hoodie.

Eddie trudged his way inside the trailer, his thoughts only on cuddling with you and passing out. As he entered the house, he remembered the plans that were for that evening and internally cursed out Mike, Dustin, and himself for the D&D “emergency”, as well as forgetting about movie night.

As Eddie cleaned up for the night and got ready for bed he saw you curled up in his bed, hugging his pillow like your life depended on it, and smiled at the image of the love of his life in his bed. He found himself wishing he could come home to this every day for the rest of his life. He swore nothing else mattered as long as he had you. He climbed into bed next to you and wrapped himself around you. In your sleep, you turned and curled yourself into him as tight as you could. Eddie smiled and just prayed you weren't too mad at him in the morning as he started to fall asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were pissed.

You didn't want to be, but you were. You knew it was well after 11 pm that he came home after promising he’d be home by 4:30. As you walked around his trailer getting ready for school, you thought of how you could keep your anger and disappointment from him, not wanting him to beat himself up about it too much as he tended to do. You threw on the extra Hellfire shirt Eddie made you and some extra pants you kept at his trailer. Your parents really didn't care what you did with your life after they already saw you as a disappointment for failing senior year.

As Eddie drove you both to school, he noticed you were quiet. Too quiet for your normal behavior. You were giving him the silent treatment. You hadn’t said a word to him yet all morning. He knew he messed up last night and started getting so upset with himself. He began to bite his nails and drum on the steering wheel. You noticed and knew what was going on in his head. You wanted to comfort him so badly, but you couldn't be sure you wouldn't accidentally let something slip and make this worse, so you just stayed quiet.

You both walked in, greeted by Dustin, or the little demon child as you've come to call him since you had to babysit him for years. Normally, his smiling happy face would be a welcome sight, but you knew it was partially his fault Eddie wasn't home last night.

“Hey Y/N. Eddie. How are you both doing this fine morning?” Dustin asked in a tone you knew all too well. He was here to steal Eddie again.

“I’m fine.” You said. “What's up, little man?”

“Listen, just because you’re taller than me doesn’t mean you can still call me that. Remember that one summer when I was finally taller than you? Best summer of my life.”

“And yet here we are, back where we started with me being taller than you.”

“You know what–”

“Ok, Dustin. How about you tell me why you’re bothering me and my lady?” Eddie interjects.

“Oh, yeah, that. So uh… remember how last night we had that emergency? Well we never fully finished fixing it before we all went home because of curfew, so we need to finish tonight.”

Wait, what? Eddie was gonna leave you again? You hope not because you missed him last night and you needed to make up date night. Also, he had promised you he was yours the second school ended today till the second school started back up Monday.

“Are you shitting me, Dustin? No, no way. Me and Y/N have plans tonight, and I already bailed on her last night, so it's not happening again.” was Eddie’s reply, making you smile.

“Are you kidding? If you don't come tonight Vecna may…..”

You started drowning out Dustin's reply as he used a ton of D&D lingo you didn’t understand. Eddie tried to teach you at one point, but you and the boys at Hellfire felt like you were slowing them down, so you were a spectator at Eddie’s games.

“Dustin, my final answer is no. I’m sorry, but we can just meet after school Monday.”

“MONDAY?! That's way–”

“Dustin. Monday. Now scram, I need to say goodbye to Y/N before we have to go to class and I’m sure you don’t want to see that” Eddie cut him off while smirking.

“Ew, you guys disgust me. Have fun getting STDs and cold sores.” Dustin said as he walked away toward Mike and Lucas.

You and Eddie headed to a less crowded hallway. As you walked Eddie grabbed your hand and started placing little kisses on each finger and knuckle. As you found a more secluded spot, Eddie pushed you up against the lockers.

“Hello, My Love. Are you going to talk to me today?” Eddie asked, pulling out those big puppy dog eyes that never fail to make you melt. “I’m so sorry about last night, Dustin and Mike got carried away and I got sucked into the game as I always do. I swear I’ll make it up to you. What can I do?”

“Nothing, Eddie, I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

“See I know there’s something wrong because you called me Eddie.” He stated with sadness in his eyes.

“Lovey, I promise everything is all good. Now let’s go, we can’t be late to Mrs. O’Donnells class again.”

“Ok, ok. But you’re gonna tell me what's wrong later.”

You roll your eyes, hating how well he can read you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey Princess, you still mad at me for last night?” Eddie asks with puppy dog eyes as he picks you up from your class to take you to lunch.

“No, Lovey, you know I can’t stay mad at you for long.”

“Ok, good. I hate it when you're upset with me. Ready for lunch?”

“Yeah, I just hope it’s good, unlike yesterday's dumplings. I swear I almost vomited.”

“Oh my god, me too. Those were so disgusting I was nervous to kiss you until I brushed my teeth. Speaking of which…” He trails off smirking.

Next thing you knew you were in the handicap bathroom with Eddie’s hand up your shirt and his lips crashing onto yours, your lips on his attacking him back with equal fervor.

“Eddie…”

“Mm-mm” He hums into your skin as he starts to trail kisses from your mouth to your neck.

“Eddie, come on, we have to go to lunch, I’m hungry.”

“I’ve got something you can eat right here, My Love.” he said while smirking, the haze of lust taking over his eyes making his chocolate brown eyes turn to black.

“Eddie! Not here. Come on if we don't hurry up I’m sure Dustin will come looking for us.”

“Oh my god, not that annoying little shithead.”

“Hey, be nice. Without that ‘annoying little shithead’ we wouldn’t be together.”

“True. Anyways, let's go if we're going before I start taking off your clothes.”

You rolled your eyes in exasperation towards his antics. You knew he wouldn’t actually start undressing you because he hated quickies in the bathroom.

As you walked into the cafeteria Dustin and Mike swarmed your boyfriend, badgering him with so many D&D questions you found it Impossible to separate their voices. The main theme being disbelief of him putting off the next meet till Monday. We went through the lunch line and got our food. As we headed to our table with all our Hellfire Club friends, the grating voice of Jason Carver filled your ears.

“Hey Freak, Freak-ess. How about you go eat outside where you belong? We’re sick of having to see you here.”

You could feel Eddie getting mad not because of what they said to him, but because they included you in this, and nobody was allowed to say anything about his Lady.

“Eddie, please, don’t. Let’s just go to our table and eat. Please”

“Ok, My Love, but next time I won’t let it slide.”

As you both sat down, you scooched your chair a little closer to Dustin, wanting to ask him a question.

“Princess? Why are you so far away? Come over here.” He said with a adorable pout on his gorgeous face

“Just a minute Eds, I need to talk to Dustin.”

As you turn to ask Dustin your question, you feel your chair start to move. You glance over and realize Eddie is dragging your chair closer to his. You see his adorably obnoxious smirk on his face. Two can play this game you decide, and slide your chair back over to Dustin, who is watching this exchange with an entirely confused look on his face. You go to talk to Dustin, again, when you feel your chair start to move, again. Just as you go to glare at the love of your life, he opens his mouth and says “Stay.” Giving you his best puppy dog eyes pleading with you not to move away again. He then wraps his arms around your shoulder and lays his head into the crook of your neck, leaving a soft, chaste kiss on the skin there.

He turns and whispers in your ear “I love you Princess. I’m still sorry about last night, and I swear I’ll do whatever you want for the whole weekend.” he goes back to planting small kisses on your neck and behind your ear, and suddenly, you wish you were both back at the trailer.

“Anything?” He nods. “Can we skip the rest of the day then?”

“You really have to ask? I skip all the time even when it’s not you asking, of course we can skip. Do you wanna go right now?”

You nod in response, feeling yourself get needier the more he talks right by your ear. The deep timbre of his voice making you even more wet than before. You squeeze your thighs together hoping it will give you some relief.

Of course Eddie notices this and looks at you with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Oh? Is my girl feeling needy? Of course she is, because I couldn’t help her out last night. Let’s get you home so we can help you out, huh?”

“Yes please.”

“Ok Sweet Girl.” he says. Louder he announces to the group “Hey guys, we’re gonna leave now. If anyone bothers us at all this weekend I’ll write a campaign so difficult none of you will win.”

A chorus of goodbyes as well as sounds of outrage are heard behind you guys as you walk out, Eddie’s arm tightly wrapped around your waist with the other holding your hand.

When you get into his van, Eddie immediately turns to you, smirking.

“Give me your panties, Sweet Girl.”

As you glare at him in mock outrage, you slip your panties down your legs, ball them up, and press them into his hand.

“Good girl.”

You whimper at that, annoyed he’s using your praise kink against you.

“Keep those beautiful thighs open, you’re not allowed any relief yet.”

The ride back to the trailer was excruciating. You were so turned on you were ready to do anything he told you to. Eddie pulls up to the trailer, puts the van in park, and immediately comes over to your side. He unbuckles your seatbelt and helps you out, the small amount of contact making you whimper again.

“Aw, my sweet girl. So needy that me barely even touching you makes you unable to speak. Let me help my poor baby out.” He says as we walk into the trailer.

“Take your clothes off now and then go lay on the bed, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“But-”

“No. Be a good girl and do what daddy says.”

You decide to obey, not wanting to get a punishment for being a brat right now. You can’t handle waiting anymore.

“Aw, such a good baby. Bed. Now.”

As you walk to his room, he goes to the kitchen. You don't ask what he's doing, just following instructions and laying down on his bed. 10 minutes later he hasn't come in yet and you're getting too needy. You decide to start pleasuring yourself while you wait, thinking you can stop when you hear his footsteps.

You slide your hand down your body. You start to play with your tits, pulling and rolling your nipples, imagining your hands are Eddies. You slide your hands lower, down your stomach, past your navel. As you slide your hand through your wetness, you start to rub your clit. You bring your hand down lower, teasing your entrance. As you push 2 fingers in, you let out a moan, you realize too late what happened just as Eddie walks into the room with an angry scowl on his face.

“What do you think you're doing? That’s a very bad, bad girl, princess. Touching yourself without my permission is against the rules. Are you just so needy you can't even wait for daddy to properly take care of you? Little slut can’t wait 5 minutes without being touched.”

“I’m sorry daddy, I didn’t mean to. I was just thinking of you and I couldn’t help it.”

“Poor, dumb baby, can’t control herself. But you know the rules, 10 spanks for every rule broken. Come lay down.”

Eddie sits down on the edge of the bed. You crawl over his lap and lay on your stomach with your ass in his lap. As he brings his hand down for the first slap, you flinch. It always feels so taboo, enjoying being spanked. By the fifth one, you have tears in your eyes, and by the tenth one, you're fully crying. Eddie pulls you up and lays you down with your head on his pillow.

“You did so well, my good little girl. I’m so proud of you taking your punishment so well. It’s time for a reward, don’t you think? Lie back princess, get comfy. I’m gonna eat my favorite meal.”

Eddie starts to make out with you and you eagerly kiss him back, clashing teeth a few times. He starts to kiss down your neck, leaving as many hickies as he can all over your neck, collar bones, and chest. Eddie licks and nips down your torso, causing you to whine, getting needier with every swipe of his tongue and bite of his teeth.

As he reaches your pussy he starts laying gentle kisses all over your thighs and folds.

“I’m so sorry I left my best girl all needy yesterday. I didn't give her the attention she deserves, but I'll give her all the attention tonight, and this whole weekend.”

“Eddie, please. I need you. Please don't tease me.”

“Ok, sweet girl. I’ll take care of you.” He responds, swiping his tongue through your folds, eating up all your wetness that has leaked out in your neediness. As he sucks and licks your clit, you whine and bring your hands down to pull his hair, bucking your hips into his mouth. He puts his arm on top of your hips, effectively stopping their movement, and leads his other hand down to your opening. He teases your entrance with his finger, rubbing up and down. You whine at his teasing, causing him to pull away and smack your clit, making you jump. He goes back to eating you out and shoves 2 of his fingers into your hole. In response you pull his hair tighter, causing him to groan in response. The vibrations and the way he’s curling your finger have you feeling right on the edge.

“Are you about to cum sweet girl? Yeah? Go ahead, cum for daddy.”

With his permission, you cum, releasing all over his face. He groans and laps up every last drop, eating you up like a man starved.

“Oh, princess, you taste so good, so sweet. My favorite candy in the world.”

Eddie kisses his way back up your body until he reaches your mouth. He kisses your lips, gently licking the seam, asking for permission to enter. You open your mouth, allowing him to lick his way into your mouth. You moan as you taste your release on his tongue.

“I love you, angel. My favorite girl. My best girl.” You whine at his words. “Tell me what you want princess, be a good girl for daddy and use your words.”

“Daddy, please. Want you”

“You just had me, be more specific princess.”

“I want you in me. All of you, please, I need you.”

“Ok, sweet girl, you can have me. I love you.”

“I love you.” Your words trail off into a moan as he pushes all the way into you. He gives a minute to adjust waiting for you to signal you are ready. You wiggle your hips, letting him know to move. He pulls out all the way to his tip, then shoves himself into the hilt. As he works to build a steady rhythm, you start whining and moaning, wrapping your legs around his hips, pushing your feet into his back, trying to get him deeper.

“Harder. Please.”

“You want it harder? Anything you want, angel. Always.”

He speeds up his thrusts until he is pounding into you and all you can hear is the mix of your moans and the sound of skin hitting skin. Eddie starts trying different angles, moving around trying to find that spot.

“Jackpot.” he says with a smirk after you moan so loud he wraps his hand around your throat, trying to avoid another noise complaint from the neighbors. Eddie pounds into your spot and you start clenching around him. He brings his hand down to rub on your clit.

“You gonna cum, Princess? Go ahead, cum on my cock. Cum on daddy’s cock. You've earned it. Such a good girl for daddy. Daddy’s good little slut.”

His dirty words aiding in your release, you cum all over him. He continues rocking into you, heading towards his own release. He buries his head into your neck and groans as he releases himself into you, painting your walls white with his spend.

You both collapse onto the bed, panting.

“You did so well for me, my love.” Eddie said with a loving gaze. You can only hum in response, too out of it to speak. “Aw, has my Princess been fucked dumb? That's ok. I’ll be right back love.” Eddie says as he climbs out of the bed, you're too dazed to protest. He comes back a minute later with a washcloth. He gently spreads your legs and wipes you clean, leaving small gentle kisses on your thighs, careful not to overstimulate you.

Eddie climbs back into bed and warps you up into his arms. You lay your head in the crook of his neck, nuzzling into his skin. You run your hands all over his chest and back while he does the same to you. He runs his hands through your hair, leaving kisses on the crown of your head.

“Do you want to watch a movie, or just cuddle for tonight My Love?” Eddie asks you.

“Just cuddles. Missed you last night. Movie tomorrow. Too tired.”

“Ok, Princess. I love you.”

“I love you Lovey.”

You both pass out naked, in each others arms, carefree and sated. You fall asleep smiling at the thought of having Eddie for a whole weekend with absolutely zero interruptions, thinking about what you will do.

#eddie munson #eddie munson smut #stranger things #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x female reader #eddie munson x reader smut #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader

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thatoneidiotdts · 4 years ago

Text

Sleeping (+morning routine) headcanons for some genshin boys

A/n: hello ladies and gentlemen I'm happy to announce that I may be back now that my life has decided to stop throwing endless shit at me. Now I also write for genshin so feel free to send asks in my inbox!!

Warnings: nightmares for xiao, favoritism in diluc's part, purposeful misspelling and slander in C*ilde's part,overall tooth rotting fluff

Zhong li

Sleeps like a rock (pun intended)

This man will not wake up unless there is an emergency

No matter how much noise you make or whatever is going on around him he'll stay there laying in bed completely silent

His breathing is so quiet you think he's dead half the time if not for his endless sleep talking

And you can actually have full on conversations with him while he's asleep

Also he sleeps in a solider position which leaves you to cling on him like a koala on a big ass tree

Sleeps in really soft bamboo pyjamas that you bought for him

Zhong li will only wake up at exactly 7:30 am no matter if it's a week day or a weekend/ his day off

He also doesn't stay in bed for more than 10 minutes unless as stated before its his day off and you aren't awake yet

The man will stay there taking in the sunshine rays from the window as he's looking at your peaceful face

After an hour or two hell rub your back and gently wake you up with forehead kisses while softly calling your name

When you finally wake up you usually start with the morning hygiene and whatnot

Also he will ask you if you want to take a morning bath together but absolutely respects you decision if you won't and you don't need to even give him a reason you declined in the first place but will make sure you know he loves you no matter what

After that he will sit down with you and drink tea and have breakfast with you for the next two hours

It's the only reason he wakes up so early

T̵̻̦̥͌͝e̸̟̗̮̮͌a̷̙͕͉̿̍͝

After that he goes to do his usual shift at the wangsheng funeral parlor

Venti

Menace to society

He either sleeps sprawled out in a starfish position with his arm and leg over your body or in a fetal position with his face buried in your breasts/chest

He usually sleeps in your clothes or in his everyday clothes

His little snores are super cute tho

Venti's snoring isn't super loud, it's actually really quiet but still there

Since he's a bard he stays at the Angel's share until it closes which is usually very late into the night so he sleeps until like 2pm

He isn't a heavy sleeper so you usually accidentally wake him up if you have some errands to run early in the morning

Venti will cling to you and pretend that he's asleep so that you can stay in bed with him

After like 20 minutes of this he finally let's you go and makes you promise him that you'll be back quickly

When you returned to your shared house from doing commissions you found him still sleeping in the bed so you quietly took a shower and snuggled in with him for another hour or two

After he finally wakes up for real this time he has breakfast lunch with you and goes off to Angel's share but not before giving you a thousand kisses

Kaeya

He's sleep schedule is ON POINT

He always gets back from Angel's share at exactly 1:00am, showers, eats and does his skin care routine and gets in bed around 1:30am

He also wakes up at exactly 9am but stays in bed until ten

He trashes through the night, he also talks in his sleep but it really weird and it's mostly things that are in English but you can't understand them at all

Kaeya is also a blanket snatcher and will snatch your blanket if you aren't holding it tightly

I feel like he also sleeps with socks on but has a few special pairs of socks that have some cute patterns that he would rather be caught working with the fatui by his own brother than wear them outside once

Also sleeps in silk pyjamas, doesn't care if the cotton ones are easier to breathe through, he likes the feeling of silk on his skin

Kaeya loves his personal space and he doesn't like to be touched while he sleeps but makes up for it when he's awake but still in bed

The only exception is when it's cold outside, I headcannon he's naturally cold and he doesn't like it at all

His morning routine is 90% of him taking care of his face and showering

His skincare routine is also more expensive than some people's houses so don't touch his products plz

Kaeya will gladly teach you the basics of skin care and will buy you your own products that thinks will suit your skin better

He's also almost late to work every day so every day you see him put on his shoes calmly, take in a deep breath and then he kisses you goodbye and runs off like a mad man in order to get to the headquarters on time

Diluc

He has so much unprocessed trauma I would be surprised is sleep schedule is anything but a mess

Diluc doesn't sleep a lot, he would have a normal sleep schedule but since he has a lot of stuff to do all the time it stops him from sleeping property

Not only does he work as a bartender at Angel's share when Charles can't he also works as the Mondstat's one and only Dark Night Hero

He usually comes home around 4 or 5 am and will only sleep until like 8 and you will have to force him to have a nap in the afternoon

Also he sleeps in his everyday clothing and he's sometimes too tired to even take his coat off

Diluc sleeps on his stomach which causes him to have back and neck problems but it's the only way he can actually fall asleep

He's a really light sleeper which also adds up to his sleeping problem

Also he snores loudly, like really loudly, and he only snores at night for some weird reason

You discovered that because one day you accidentally woke up at like 6 am and you couldn't fall back asleep because of his loud snoring but you didn't dare to move since you knew how little rest he gets

He's not a morning person at all, if he didn't hate alcohol, he would be the person that chugs half a bottle of vodka in the morning just to keep him awake

Diluc usually starts his morning off with some personal hygiene and then starts doing the endless paperwork without even having breakfast or anything to drink

So out will have to force him to eat and drink so that he doesn't pass out from work

On the rare days he doesn't have any work to do he usually sleeps them off to make up for the time he didn't sleep

Albedo

Chalk boy over here also has a terrible sleep schedule

He's not really forcing himself to stay up but rather doesn't realize how late it is

You will have to pull him out of his work in order for him to go to sleep

Albedo has a special pair of pyjamas that he wears when he's sleeping and he only wears them because for his last birthday Klee has given him a pair of pyjamas that were originally grey but she hand painted them herself with the help of Jean and Lisa and he's been sleeping in them ever since

And when i say every day I mean every day

But don't worry he hand washes them every two days and takes special care of them in order to not wash of the fabric paint

His snores are also really quiet and quite cute, I recommend commenting on that if you wanna see him blush ^-^

Albedo usually sleeps on his stomach but unlike Diluc he is small enough to not crush you under his weight so he usually sleeps with his head on your stomach or buried in your neck

Pease touch his hair he melts when you do

Albedo can sleep for a looonng time if you don't wake him up so he relies on you to wake him up or else he'll spend the next 16 hours in bed sleeping without a care in the wold

When he wake up he does his usual morning routine, which is usually a quick shower, breakfast, brushing his teeth and his hair out, and then goes off to work

He will absolutely make you have a nap with him in the afternoon or whenever he feels tired

Xiao

He doesn't sleep much, hell I don't this man sleeps at all sometimes

Adepti don't really require sleep or food like normal humans do

It took a lot of time for him to trust you enough to sleep besides him

Xiao doesn't feel safe while sleeping at all, he also fears that his karmic dept might take affect on you so he keeps his distance for quite some time

For the first month or two he would wear his normal every day clothes but then you gift him a cute plain green onesie and at first he straight up refused to put 'that thing' on but he gave in and hasn't sleep in anything else since

At first he would be the big spoon so that he can protect you from any harm but when you spooned him for the first time he felt so safe and warm he never wanted to let go of that feeling ever again

After that he would ask you under his breath if you could spoon him more often, you barely understood what he was saying but perfectly understood what he wanted and needed.

He also regularly has nightmares which causes him to trash around and maybe whack you in the face once or twice but you're quick to calm him down

Xiao never really realized that he was hurting you until he gently hugged you and you winced because he accidentally touched the small mark he left the previous night after having another nightmare

Doesn't touch you or sleep with you for a week after that, he already hurt you enough but you don't really care so you coaxed him into sleeping with you again very easily since he missed your warmth a lot

He doesn't really have a morning routine but he does wake up every morning before you so that he can teleport to the Huaguang Stone Forest to pick some Qingxin flowers for you

He's also gets back into your arms right before you wake up so that it seems like he never left in the first place

But you always notice the new fresh bouquet of the beautiful white flower on your desk and thank him for it

T*rtaglia

Listen here ok I'mma be real with y'all

Turbulence sleeps exactly one hour less than normal people but makes it seem like he gets like 2 hours of sleep per night

"Ugh I didn't sleep last night at all😩😏" Like bro stfu

He also makes jokes about sleeping so little because he was with you last night or that he was training so hard or doing a mountain of paper work

While you know damn well he was with you entire night sleeping like a baby right by your side

He sleeps naked solely so that one day when a hypothetical intruder gets into your home he can scare them off by yelling at them while being completely naked 💀

But he will put a pair of pyjamas on if you're uncomfortable

He mostly sleeps on his side because he needs to hold something while he's sleeping, if you aren't with him that night he will hug your pillow and sleep like that

Tagliatelle also doesn't like to sleep when in a cold room so he will have one of those water bottles that people use for back pain and will put one in the pillow he's holding and two in the blanket itself

He's totally a morning person and has no problem with getting out of the bed in less than like 10 minutes unless you ask him not to

If he has a day off he won't sleep in that much but he will curl up beside you and 'accidentally' place his head on your boobs/chest

Y'all saying Terrorism is the caring older brother? WRONG he's the forgotten middle child. we ofc know about Tonia, Anthon and Teucer but he also has two older brothers and at least one older sister

I feel like he's the middle child that had to take all the responsibilities when the older three/four moved out

So yeah he can make a damn fine breakfast for you without skipping a beat

But don't let me even start on his personal hygiene

Like shower are fine ok and he baths once a week only because he can but like

I know damn well his back teeth are ROTTING

He only uses mouthwash and brushes the front and bottom part of the teeth so that they look presentable meanwhile his back teeth got their souls sucked out

Moving on from that Tellurium can't really spend the whole morning with you so he will have to leave you late in the morning.

Coffee? :>

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unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240 · 2 years ago

Text

A rough accounting of what has happened since last weekend:

Had a slight sore throat but tested negative, so I still drove ~6 hours out of state to see family with Spouse

Did a couple things with Spouse's family while mostly masked/outside and then went back to the hotel

Woke up completely out of it and Bad on Sunday; I stayed in the hotel while Spouse spent time with family

Fire alarm goes off sometime in the late afternoon-ish. I ignore the first shorter run. Second time it goes off long enough that I realize that it's not a test and throw on my shoes and grab my bag and head out to the parking lot in my pajamas.

Turns out the hotel was on fire??

But like only a little bit

I couldn't see any smoke during my slow lap around the building, but that doesn't mean much

Basically every other person there is a 25 - 50 year old man, which makes the fact that I'm not wearing a bra more awkward than it strictly needed to be

Some guy runs up to another group of guys and asks "this motherfucker on fire?" This is greeted with laughter but no answers.

An hour and ten fire trucks/cop cars later, we're cleared to reenter the hotel

Smells kinda smoky but I really can't otherwise tell that there was a fire so that's good I guess

Also did I mention that this hotel doubled as a trucking school?

Seriously one of the most liminal places I've been in a hot minute, not helped by being deliriously sick and out of it

I go to lay back down and realize by now it's dinner time and I desperately need food

I order some soup and go on a delirious ten minute drive for this food

The food tastes weird, but it's hot so it's fine enough I guess

Spouse brings home Covid tests he's been randomly gifted by his family

The next morning I test myself since hey - we have tests and it never hurts to be safe than sorry even though it came up negative a day and a half ago

And

Comes

Positive

So now, I'm in another state with a ~6 hour drive home, Major Work Things the scheduled the next two days, and now I'm tamei for Covid

(Spouse tests negative for Covid miraculously, and so far is asymptomatic)

(We skip out on the goodbyes with his family anyway though and hit the road)

It takes us 11 1/2 hours to make this normally 6 hour drive home, because I keep having to stop to set up work-related coverage

My driving is mostly okay but this is the loopiest I've been driving in a hot minute

(Spouse doesn't drive, so I am the only driver unfortunately)

We get home stupid late, and I collapse into bed only to get up very early the next day and proceed to work 6+ hours for coverage reasons.

I manage to work slightly less on Tuesday, which is good, because by that point I physically cannot stay awake for more than an few hours at a time and can barely talk.

Spouse is also now very obviously sick

Wednesday I sleep

Thursday I sleep

Friday daytime I sleep

I bring in Shabbat on time, and then proceed to fall asleep at 9:00 p.m. and sleep until 12:30 p.m. on Saturday

Sunday - well, after I got up on Saturday I managed to stay awake 14 whole hours! But I'm still sick as hell. Spouse is also still very sick, and both of us retested positive as of Friday afternoon. We'll see what the rest of Sunday holds I guess.

So anyway, time is fake, last weekend feels like a year ago, and some things are better not smelled or tasted whilst sick anyway.

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pbandjesse · 3 years ago

Text

I am feeling better. Not all the way but I am no longer dying. Also there's new MCR??? In 2022???

Today was miles better but I still wasn't great honestly. After I spiked a fever last night I was a mess for a few hours. But around 11 it broke and I felt fine. Weak but better.

All the lights were on and we were on top of the blankets so I woke James up and we fixed up the bed and went to sleep.

I didn't actually sleep for a while. I poked around on my phone for a bit. But would fall asleep eventually.

I woke up at 6 with James. I was very clingy and was feeling better and just wanted James with me. They were tired and wouldn't get up right away. I was grateful for that.

Their tummy hurt a bit but we think it's mostly anxiety. Hopefully. We still aren't making a call about going camping. Apparently Noelle might have been exposed to covid and is getting tested in the morning. And if James throws up we won't go. But I still hope it happens. I miss the ocean.

James left for work and I was feeling good. Still a little weak. I have a little cough. I think from my throat being burned. But I was convinced I was all good. Besides being tired and weak. I let Jessica know I was going to stay home, I knew I wouldn't be able to lead a program. But that was fine. She was expecting that.

I took a bath and washed my hair and shaved my legs and tried to just feel soft and good. It is easier to put my medications on without hair and my skin actually seems to clear easier when I shave. It's a balance though because if I shave to much it's also irritating. But this felt like the right choice today.

I got dressed and felt a little tired but I thought it would be a good idea to go through my camp bag and make sure I was still good with the possible storms we are looking at. I made sure I have an extra sweater and socks. And it was going well until all of a sudden I lost all energy and felt very upset.

I knew I had to eat something. I had had some pudding and raspberries again and that was nice but it wasn't enough. I thought something like egg salad would help me. I used the egg boiler thing we have and cooked two eggs. Which was the only way I was going to be able to be in the kitchen because all the smells were bothering me.

But I made my eggs and had my sandwich and felt better. Not great but like I had some energy.

I played Stardew valley for an hour. Progress continues to be made. It's about to be fall and I want to have my new garden space set up before winter. But after a bit my eyes hurt a lot and I was very tired.

I got in bed and listened to a video for a while. Cuddled with Sweetp. And eventually fell asleep. I don't actually remember sleeping and I guess it wasn't super restful. But when I woke up James was texting me they were on their way home.

James got home and we cuddled for a while. Their belly hurt and so did mine. But it was nice to be there for each other.

They had their podcast. And I did my knitting. I was feeling a little better and went through all our camp stuff and made an inventory list. Which was actually a lot of work! But I think I did an excellent job.

James made us pasta for dinner. And it was hard to eat, I think it was a little to acidic. But it was smart to eat.

I watched tiktoks for a long time. And then MCR dropped a new song and I tried very hard not to have a breakdown over it. The begining I think I need to hear a few times, there's some odd vocal fry I'm not sure ahout. But once it hit the 2:30 mark the whole song after that was so perfect I couldn't have been happier. And for a 6 minute song that is still a great ratio. I have only listened to it once all the way through. I need to spend more time with it tomorrow. But man am I excited.

I got a shower. Felt nice. My skin is looking really good. My legs aren't healing as well but the rest of me is and that feels good. And now I am in bed wearing James's sweatshirt.

Hopefully tomorrow I will be posting from the beach. I don't know how service will be so we will see how it goes. Hopefully the trip happens and no one is to ill for it. Sleep good everyone. Thank you for everyone who reached out. Keep those good vibes coming.

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mr-smith-wesson · 3 years ago

Note

7 pm

"She's finally asleep, I don't know why she's been fighting sleep so much. Maybe a sleep regression." Sam joined Dean in the kitchen helping him out away the dishes.

"You've been reading that book again haven't you? Babies are all different. You gave me hell some nights, you had to be on my chest, the moment I moved you off you woke up. We just have to figure out what's Marie's thing."

8:36 pm

*Baby crying*

"I'll get her, just keep watching your show." Sam got up from the couch, putting his book away.

"You sure? I can get her Sam, you put her to sleep the first time." Dean was always wanting to help out with Marie and Sam was grateful for it but he was determined to be able to handle this as much as he could on his own.

"Yeah it's not a big deal." Sam went to the nursery the brothers decorated for their newly adopted daughter. The adoption agency had tried telling the brothers that a 6 month old was probably too much for them and that an older child would be better. They took one look at her and fell in love.

"Shhh baby girl it's ok" Sam gently rocked her back and forth, humming for her as her little eyes closed shut again. He looked up to see Dean in the doorway.

"You're a natural at this." Dean smiled fondly at the pair.

9:45pm

"Get some sleep Sam, I got her this time." Dean pulled himself from the bed, padding softly to Marie's room. Sam could hear Dean softly talking to her on the baby monitor. It hurt Sam how quickly she fell back asleep with Dean but he has to remind himself that Dean has had more experience with kids.

"She's already asleep?" Sam was trying to hide the sadness is his voice.

"Yeah and before you think she doesn't like you it's not that. Babies are weird man. Now scoot over and let's get some sleep." Dean placed a kiss on the side of Sam's head. "G'night Sammy"

10:20

"I got her, you got work in the morning." Sam slid out of bed making his way to her room. "Sweetie, what's going on now?" Same checked, she wasn't wet, didn't want a bottle. Sam couldn't figure out what it was. He sat in the rocking chair with her rocking back and forth, singing to her until she fell back asleep.

Midnight.

"Sleep dean. I got her." Sam swore he just came back to bed, he ended staying up with Marie in the rocking chair for about an hour to make sure she was really asleep.

"I'll just bring her in here with us Sammy, the nursery is probably a little too much for her right now. She's only 8 months." Dean got out of bed, bringing Marie to their bed and setting up the mini crib. "See that way if she wakes up she's right next to us."

1:30

Sam was used to the crying at this point, he was good at running on no sleep but sleep deprivation from a baby was a whole new level of exhaustion.

"Shhh you're gonna wake up your daddy de, it's ok honey." Sam walked back to the bed with Marie in his arms. He figured one night of co-sleeping wouldn't hurt them.

Dean woke up at 5 am to get ready for work, he turned his head to see Marie in-between him and Sam. She was clinging onto Dean's shirt.

7pm

"Hey Sammy try giving her this tonight instead." Dean handed Sam one of his flannels.

"Your shirt? Why?" Sam looked up at Dean in confusion.

"Just trust me." Dean had a feeling that was going to help her sleep through the night.

9pm

"She hasn't woken up, what if something's wrong?" Sam was about to get out of bed to go check on her.

"She's fine Sammy, look we can see her on the monitor. She's sound asleep." Dean handed the baby monitor to Sam, which clearly showed their baby girl sound asleep wrapped up in Dean's shirt.

"I don't get it. I'm doing the same bedtime routine with her, I'm doing everything by the book, I even took the parenting classes at the hospital and I still don't know what I'm doing." Sam was trying hard to fight back the tears.

"Sammy, hey look at me baby." Dean gently grabbed Sam's face, you are the best parent ever, you're an amazing brother and you're so good with her. But I've been saying, kids are weird. The shirt smells like me so she's relaxed, she slept in between both of us last night and she felt safe. I guarantee you that if you gave her something of yours for her crib, she'll keep sleeping through the night."

"You really think so?" Sam sniffled.

"It worked with you. Up until you were like 3 you slept on my chest or with one of my shirts. Tomorrow we'll give her one of your shirts and you'll see."

7pm

"Ok, little miss has been bathed, fed, changed, swaddled into one of your gargantuan shirts and is already out like a light." Dean joined Sam on the porch, the cool fall breeze blowing gently around them.

"What if she wakes up because it's not your shirt" Sam hated feeling like this but he knew Dean knew best.

"She's gonna sleep, trust me Sammy."

6am

"Hey sweet girl, you slept the whole night oh my goodness." Sam gently picked her up out of her crib. Dean was right. Their shirts helped her stay asleep. Later that day during Marie's playtime, Sam set to work sewing together 2 of their old shirts into a blanket for her. Marie never gave them a hard time of sleeping through the night again….at least until the terrible 2's started up but that's a different story.

~~~End~~~

😭😭😭 GOD. sam feeling like a bad parent I’m heartbroken :( !! they love their kid so much. I wish to live in this world you created. sam and dean raising a little girl is so !!! I’m squealing god this is an absolute mood booster for me. I’d literally read 50 chapters on this and I MEAN it. Anon you are the best 😚😚

#asks #fave #how sweet is this ofmf

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sweetst24 · 5 years ago

Text

Inside - This is my first and fanfiction. I wrote it to process some emotions/grief. Any feedback is appreciated!!

Sam Winchester is a great man, though he doesn't think so. Constant reminders of the ones he's loved then lost cloud his vision, the pain gripping him as he falls asleep at night. Loving Sam simply was out of my hands, his soft tortured soul calling to me through the concrete walls of the bunker every night. Both being a friend and being in love brings me to our current predicament.

I got stuck in a Rye, Colorado, about 30 mins outside of Pueblo. A nest of vampires had set up shop, attacking people in Pueblo, bringing them back to the nest for a slow feeding. Cleaning out the nest was a job, but nothing I couldn't handle.

After dropping people at the hospital, my car broke down, so I thought I'd hop the bus in Pueblo to get back to Lebanon without bothering the boys. I figured I'd be home by morning, have a nice weekend. Wash day was Saturday and I was due for a deep condition because natural hair is plenty of upkeep, especially when you constantly shower in shitty motel bathrooms.

I usually don't spend my weekend in holding cells but using a fake ID to buy a bus ticket generally does that. We have contingency plans for situations like this, but I'm having doubts since the dark of night is slipping into the third day without my freedom.

"Psst. Y/n? Are you awake sweetheart?" Dean silently tries to get my attention while cracking open the door to the holding cell.

"Of course I am! Where have you been?" I whisper-yell trying my best not to wake Bess and Tess, my very cozy, very drunk cellmates.

"You can't rush perfection, sweetheart. Plus it's only been two days." Dean sassed, face crunched together, muttering something along the lines of 'spoiled brat'.

"Look, can you please tell me what the plan is before I chop you in the throat," Dean's face deadpanned while he puffed up his chest looking for a fight.

"You want to put that pretty hand on my neck so bad, don't you sweetheart, but I'm guessing Sammy won't appreciate that, will he?" Dean jabbing at that soft spot shut me up quickly, pain weighing heavily causing me to drop my head in defeat. Realization crosses Dean's face, knowing his joke reached too far, especially now when the relationship between Sammy and I is not ideal. Dean pulls me into a much needed hug.

"Look, y/n, I'm sorry. Let's get you out of here." Dean placed me in cuffs and starting pulling me from the cell.

"Come on D, can't I just pretend to be a deep cover spy or something??" I whined loudly.

"Look, deputy Doolittle thinks you ran off from a safe house to see your boy toy. So don't blow the witness protection cover or I'll leave you here."

As we stepped outside, the early morning chill erupted goosebumps across my body, forcing me to shiver.

"You should've thought of that before doing something so stupid," Dean gruffed while walking me over to Baby.

"Can you at least take the cuffs off?" I whined as Dean briefly stopped, then continued dragging me to Baby. "My body feels terrible and I don't feel like arguing about how I did the right thing," barely audible above the dragging of my feet.

"No, y/n, you did not do the right thing. The right thing would've been to call me or Sammy to come get you. Instead, you made a fool of yourself and now you have to own it."

As Dean tossed me into the back seat, I defiantly removed the cuffs, tossing them in the driver's seat. As soon as my criminal act was complete, I had the overwhelming urge to not turn to the passenger seat. But I noted that Dean was waiting outside of Baby as not to interrupt the conversation that was no doubt about to start in the car.

Closing my eyes, I turn to the right, peeking through my lashes in a failed attempt to pretend I don't see him but...There was Samuel. His syrupy-brown hair tucked neatly behind his ears. Looks of "explain yourself" and "I'm sorry it took so long" fighting for dominance on his face, ultimately the much needed explanation winning out.

"Y/n..." Sam lowly stated, voice as even as possible.

"That's me," I huff with a half-hearted wave.

"You know what I'm going to say. After everything we've been through lately why didn't you call me, or Dean, or Castiel, or Hell even Jody! Someone should know what's going on! Communication is everything for hunters and you know better."

Sam stared with so much emotion it almost broke me, but his questions were met with my silence.

"Fine. You aren't going to answer me now but you will before you walk into our home." Sam affirmed.

Sam startled me. Though I could see where he was coming from, everything being so MESSY. I should've called. But I was not wrong about riding the bus. Besides, a little time away from the bunker, and the boys, with my thoughts couldn't hurt, right?

Sam waves for Dean to get in the car so we could begin our long, tension-filled, 6 hour drive to the bunker. It was a relief to be headed home after spending a few days away to clear my head. Everything was so complicated because of the night that I called the best of my life. The night I fell into bed with Sam.

-flashback-

Nice and rainy. My favorite weather. Being able to be comfy cozy with a nice mug of tea and Netflix was the shit. Rewatching Princess and the Frog for the thousandth time just seemed like the best thing for a rainy day. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed my time alone, but time alone with Sam was a particularly rare occurrence, especially when he wants to be in the same room with me.

Sam choose to wear his regular ass hunter's 'uniform' of a plaid shirt and jeans. Although, I made note that he decided to wear my favorite of his collection, the hunter green with blue block pattern. I thought it brought out the striking beauty in his eyes, the balance of the two colors precariously placed in his irises. He sat close enough that I wasn't nervous but I was getting distracted by the way he ate his popcorn, arm flexing in his tight sleeve.

"Why are we watching this again?" Sam inquired about the apparent Tiana streak we were on.

"Because. Why, you got a problem with representation? I just, see myself in her, and plus Prince Naveen... Do I have to say more or," I laughed, head cocked back as I finished the thought while Sam shook his head next to me.

Then, it happened. Once I stopped cackling like a weirdo Sam placed his arm around me, bringing me close to his side while he watched the movie, a slight blush on his cheeks. I didn't realize I was staring at him until Tiana's alarm clock went off, prompting me to jump out of reflex. Sam suddenly turned to me with a concerned look on his face that melted away once he realized what happened.

For a split second I thought I should stop myself. But, YOLO. Before I could react, Sam kissed me passionately, grabbing my twist-out, making me moan. I climbed up on his lap, grinding his massive imprint through my sweats. Sam tasted sweet, and I knew that that tasted sweeter. I slid down onto the floor, removing my sweater and t-shirt, unbuckling his pants. Sam let out a loud growl.

"Y/n, please get up. If you do that... right now. I need you, y/n, now."

As I slowly stood, Sam picked me up, staring into my eyes, and gently placed me on my bed. Quicker than I could blink, Sam ripped off my sweats.

I moaned, "Sam."

"I need to be inside of you," Sam growled while looking deep into my eyes.

He took his time, driving me insane, driving slowly in and out of me, not yet giving me the full length of his masterpiece. As I looked into his eyes, I saw something deeper flash through, not just sex, but love. Strong, passionate, unconditional love that you only read about. It took my breath away, gasping, Sam eyes widening, fear crossing his features as he realizes what I saw. In that intense moment, Sam thrust all the way into me, both of us shouting unintelligible phrases that sounded like animals.

"I... Please.. don't... Leave... Ahh..." Sam's affirmation of love, shocking, but looking in his eyes I knew he was telling the truth.

Faster, faster, faster. Our orgasms syncing, our eyes never wavering from one another. When suddenly stars, lights filled my eyes as the feeling of euphoria washed over me, the both of us collapsing on the bed, completely exhausted.

"Sam. We have to... We have to do that again... Again." I gasped out as Sam attempted to cover us with a light blanket behind me, failing from exhaustion.

"... Please... " Sam chuckled.

Thanks for reading part one.

***Please do not share my content on any other platform without my consent.***

#supernatural fanfiction #sam winchester x y/n #Sam Winchester x black!reader

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elusive---ivory · 5 years ago

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The Woman In Velvet pt 11

Sorry for such a long wait!! I was sick all weekend and still haven't felt any better. I hope you guys enjoy this part!! Part 12 will be out probably next week.

PAIRING: Arthur Fleck x Oc

WARNING: Violence, and Randall

Masterlist

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

Part 9

Part 10

Part 11

Taglist:

@princessgeekface @memory-mortis @mijachula @gloomyladyy @lolacolaempath

Sandy stayed up all night, listening to Arthur laughing. She sat in a stool in his apartment, nearly falling asleep.

"Shut up!" The neighbours yelled.

Sandy hopped off the stool and walked over to the couch. Arthur held her close, laughing into her neck. She ran her fingers through his hair, humming a sweet tune.

It wasn't until 5 am that Arthur's laughter subsided. Sandy fell asleep on Arthur's chest, gently calming the small hiccups or gulps he had sitting in his throat. Her boss was gonna be pissed, but Sandy couldn't care less. She felt like a different person. She felt like a bird flying out of its cage. She wanted to hold onto that feeling.

Sandy woke up to beams of light shining on her face. The mid morning sun shined through Arthur's thin curtains. Arthur walked in on Sandy waking up.

"Good morning, darling." Arthur smirked.

Sandy groaned. "It's morning? Ugh, fuck."

Sandy was barely dressed. She fell asleep, wearing a very proactive nightgown.

"Don't worry. I'm heading out to see Penny." Arthur spat out the name 'Penny.'

"Penny, huh?" Sandy asked.

"Yeah." Arthur's eyes darted over to Sandy.

Sandy felt slightly intimidated by his stare, but it didn't seem to effect her either. "I wonder how she's going to react. You have the right to be mad at her. She's put you through so much shit." She said, rubbing her eyes.

"You're right, Sandy." Arthur smirked. "You know, I'm going on the Murray Franklin Show tonight."

"I know, and I'm gonna be there. Just for you." Sandy leaned over kissing Arthur's cheek.

Arthur smiled. "I should really get going now. I have to pay Penny a visit."

Sandy smiled, watching Arthur walk off. She took a deep sigh and laid there. Slowly, her eyes closed, and went back to sleep. She woke up again to the telephone ringing. She turned around, ignoring the phone.

"Mr. Fleck. We regret to inform you that your mother, Penny Fleck, has passed away at 10:30 this morning. We were told that you were just here visiting, but we're not entirely sure that's true. If you could call us back, we would greatly appreciate."

Her attention was immediately grabbed by the message. It had only been a hour or two since he left to see her. Sandy walked over to the kitchen, replaying the message to see if it was really true.

Arthur walked in through the door. He had on a new red suit that Sandy hadn't seen before.

"Hey, Arthur, did you hear about-" Sandy was cut off by Arthur's lips. Arthur gracefully lifted her up on the kitchen counter. Sandy looked back at Arthur, forgetting her focus. She gulped. "You got a new suit?"

Arthur smirked. "I have to look presentable on TV."

"Did you hear about Penny?" Sandy asked.

Arthur's hand ran up Sandy's thigh, tugging at the end of her nightgown. "I did. We should celebrate." He leaned closer to her neck.

Sandy pushed Arthur gently away. "I should get dressed."

Arthur frowned as she pushed away, but obliged anyway.

"I might go down to the store. We need some more food, since we only have crumbs left to spare in the fridge." Sandy called from the bedroom.

"Ok. I'll be practicing my act. If you could while you're at the store, get me some green hair dye." Arthur called back.

Sandy walked through the door. She tilted her head slightly. "Why green?" Sandy asked.

"Why not?" Arthur replied.

Sandy smiled. "Alright, TV star. I'll get your hair dye." She giggled, putting on her jacket.

Arthur smiled at her. "I love you." He said, kissing Sandy's cheek.

She smirked, walking out the door. "I love you too. I'll see you in ten, Artie."

Sandy walked back into Arthur's apartment with food, drinks, and a box of clover green hair dye. She looked over at Arthur on the couch. His head was hung over the couch as well as his arms. Sandy walked over to him, looking down at his silly figure.

"I'm back." Sandy said, leaning down kissing Arthur's forehead.

Arthur smiled widely. "I see that. Did you get it?"

"I did." Sandy snickered, handing Arthur the box of dye.

Arthur eyed the dye as he walked towards the bathroom. He had carefully peeled off the suit, placing it on the bedside table. He was left with nothing on, but his pair of tightie whities.

Sandy raised her eyebrow looking at him, looking at him through the bathroom door. She turned on the radio. 'That's Life' by Frank Sinatra started playing through the speakers of the old radio. Sandy sat on the bed smoking a freshly lit cigarette.

She saw Arthur dancing around in his underwear in the bathroom mirror. Sandy giggled to herself.

Arthur walked out of the bathroom, and into the bedroom, looking at himself in the vanity. He took a large brush and dipped it in white paint, then stroking the brush on his face, making it a silky white color.

Sandy sat on the bed beside him. "You look so mysterious." She said, dreamily.

Arthur smirked, turning to face her. Arthur's smirk soon turned into a well displaced frown as he heard the door buzzing.

"Want me to get it?" Sandy asked, getting off the bed.

"No, no. I got it." Arthur sighed, getting off his seat. "Coming." He yelled.

Sandy noticed as Arthur got up, he had placed something in his pocket. She walked out of the bedroom, following him carefully to the door.

Two men stood at the door. One guy was extremely large. The other was extremely small. Both seemed to be a very odd pair.

"Oh, hey guys. Come on in." Arthur greeted the two guys with ease.

Sandy, on the other hand, stood nervously in the kitchen entranceway, smiling at the two men.

"Did you get a new gig, Arthur?" The small man asked, as he walked towards the door.

"Nah." Arthur responded, taking a puff from his cigarette.

"You must be headed down to that rally at city hall." The big man said, following the little man.

"Oh, is that today?" Arthur asked, as he closed and locked the door behind them.

The big man whistled at Sandy. "Damn, Art. I didn't know you had company."

Sandy rolled her eyes.

Arthur turned his head over at Sandy. "Oh, yeah. Guys, this is Sandy. Sandy meet Gary and Randall. They worked with me at Haha's."

"Very nice to meet you, Sandy." The little man, known as Gary, said, smiling up at her.

Sandy smiled, kneeling down to his level. "It's a pleasure to meet both of you." She walked back into the kitchen.

The fat man, Randall, checked her out as she did so.

"So, what's with the makeup?" Randall asked.

Arthur looked over at Sandy, before taking a puff of his cigarette. "My mom died. I'm celebrating." Arthur responded.

"Yeah, well, that's why we stopped by. We figured you needed some cheering up." Randall gestured over to Gary, who was holding a bottle of wine wrapped up in a brown paper bag.

"Aww, that's sweet." Arthur said, smiling slightly. "But, nah. I feel good. I feel a lot better now. I stopped taking my medication, and Sandy has really helped me a lot" Arthur chuckled.

"Huh. Okay, that's good for you, I guess." Randall said, not really giving a damn.

Randall cleared his throat for a second before continuing to talk.

"So, I don't know if you heard, but the cops have been around the shop lately. Ya know, asking questions about the subway killings." Randall said, eyeing Arthur's behavior.

"They didn't talk to me." Gary said, confused.

"That's because the suspect was a regular sized person. If it was a fucking midget, you'd be in jail by now." Randall said, shrugging at Gary.

Arthur made a disturbing laugh. Sandy looked over at Arthur from the kitchen. "Wait, why would they come to your shop for suspects?" Sandy asked.

Randall looked over at her. "Because the suspect was a clown, dumbass. Haven't you seen the news?"

"Excuse me for fucking asking." Sandy mumbled.

"Anyway, Hoyt said they talked to you. And now, they're looking for me. I just want to know what you said. Make sure our stories line up, ya know. Seeing as your my boy." Randall kept talking.

Sandy saw Arthur drew the scissors out of his pocket. Her eyes grew wide. Her heartbeat felt loud in her chest.

Arthur nodded. "Yup, that makes a lot of sense. Thank you, Randall. Thank you so much."

Arthur lunged the scissors in Randall's throat.

Sandy fell to the ground hiding under the kitchen counter. She covered her mouth, not making a sound whilst crying silently.

Gary was screaming at the top of his lungs, witnessing Arthur stab Randall in the eye, then proceeding to slamming Randall's head into the hallway wall.

Sandy closed her eye, biting her thumb. The noises were too much to handle.

"Why would you do that Arthur?" Gary said, still crying and shivering in the corner.

Sandy held her knees tightly to her chest, still crying silently. She bit her lip barely paying attention to the brief interaction going on in the background. She looked up, seeing Arthur give Gary a kiss on the head before shutting the door.

Arthur walked over to Sandy, sitting down next to her on the kitchen floor.

Sandy was quiet for a moment. She took a deep breath. She sat there, looking away from Arthur. Sandy had a feeling about Arthur. She didn't want it to be true, yet she knew all along.

Arthur sat there staring at her, grabbing her hand, and holding it in his lap.

"It was you wasn't it?" Sandy said, coolly. "That gun wasn't a prop."

"Yeah." Arthur whispered back.

Sandy's mouth twitched into a smile. Her smile turned into a laugh. Her tears followed with her laughter.

Arthur's smile grew wide. His eyes dilated. He held her close, laughing with her.

#joker arthur fleck #arthur fleck #arthur fleck x reader #joaquin phoenix #joker x reader #joker 2019 #arthur fleck x oc #joker x oc #the woman in velvet

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goobykeding · 6 years ago

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Man’s Best Friend: pt: 1

Sam Winchester x reader

A/N: This will be my first series. I made this for my sister @rocketblaze21 who is a Sam girl. And I was inspired by episodes 6-8 and 8-15. Any and all mistakes are mine. Gif is not mine.

Summary: The Winchesters are out for a hunt in Colorado Springs and come across a skinwalker that ends up helping them with the case. She ends up falling for Sam Winchester. Will he have the same feelings for her and will his brother Dean end up killing her because she is a monster?

Words: 1129

Warnings: none so far.

Winchester's P.O.V:

Dean Winchester had just woken up and entered the kitchen with sleep still in his eyes and disheveled hair. He saw his younger brother Sam sitting at the table and on his computer looking for another case. He had always been an early riser. Dean went over to the coffee maker and was glad that the coffee was already made. He poured himself a glass and sat across from his brother.

"I think I found a case. There was a body of a woman found in Colorado Springs. She was walking home from the bar late last night and was attacked. They think it was an animal attack. And her heart was missing."

"Werewolf?"

"Seems like it."

"Alright, lets pack up and leave in 30."

After a long drive, they had finally arrived in Colorado Springs and found a hotel. It was 8 pm when they finally got there and it was starting to rain. Dean went out to buy some food for dinner and Sam stayed at the hotel unpacking their bags.

~~~~~~~~~

Reader's POV:

You were walking about in your dog form. You preferred to just live as a dog as much as possible. It was so much easier than being a human. And to avoid your responsibilities. When you got bitten by a skinwalker years ago, you saw it as a gift. And decided not to kill people for your craving of hearts. You just went after animals to satisfy your cravings. As you were walking down an alley you looked up to the sky and saw it was gonna rain soon. So you started running hoping to get home before it started to rain. But the rain came way sooner than expected and you started to get soaked. You ran by a hotel and saw that there was a door to a room that was open. You headed towards the door hoping you could use your cute looks as an advantage to get out of the rain.

~~~~~~~~~

Winchester's P.O.V:

Sam decided to leave the door open to let some of that refreshing rain air into the room. He had always found it soothing. As he was unpacking he sensed something was watching him. He turned around and saw a Great Pyrenees outside, looking at him with its fur soaking wet.

"Hey. What are you doing out in the rain? Come on in lets get you dry"

Sam then walked over to the bathroom and grabbed a towel and started to dry off the dog. The dog then rolled over for him to rub her stomach. Sam then heard the sound of the impala pulling into the parking lot. He quickly got up and went to the door to try to convince Dean to let her stay the night.

"Before you get pissed off, I just want you to know this isn't my fault. She just showed up at the door, okay? She didn't track in any mud and was out in the rain and i didn't want her to stay in the rain all night. I figured she could stay the night tonight? And maybe find her a home tomorrow?" Sam said nervously.

Dean looks into the hotel room and sees a huge white dog just sitting there looking at him. "Sam, that dog is huge! And you know I don't like dogs..." He sighed. "But since its raining, I guess she can stay. But she has to be gone tomorrow." Dean replied. He walked over to the table and placed the fast food on it and they both sat down to eat. The dog then layed on the floor next to Sam. The youngest Winchester then started dropping fries to the floor for the dog to eat.

~~~~~~~~~

Reader's P.O.V:

You walked over to the table and laid next to the guy that let you in. For some reason you didn't want to leave his side. Was it because he was so kind to you? You then see a fry land in front of your face. You really didn't want to eat off the floor, but you were pretty hungry and didn't want to them to think something was wrong with you. So you ate it. The guy with the short hair started to talk. "So Sam, I think after we get rid of the dog, we should go straight to the morgue and see if there is anything other than her heart missing. Just to make sure there isn't anything else." Your heart than sank, of all the people you could be in the same room with you ended up with hunters. You were hoping that they didn't find out about you being a skinwalker. And that they didn't assume that the attack on that woman was you.

After they were done eating, they headed off to bed. Sam called you up on the bed next to him. You were starting to like the guy, he was handsome and kind to you. Until you found out they were hunters. You were wondering if there were any other skinwalkers in the area. You went a couple states over to get away from the man that changed you. Could he have possibly found you? After a while, the two men fell asleep. Good. Nows my chance to get out of here. you thought and looked at the door and sighed. Theres no way you're getting out of here tonight. Not without changing into a human. You couldn't risk blowing your cover. You just layed your head down on Sam's leg and went to sleep yourself.

Morning finally came, and you heard the alarm going off next to Sams bed. You looked at the time and saw it was 7 am. Sam got up and went to the bathroom. Dean just went to the coffee maker and dumped coffee grounds in the top and filled it up with water. Sam got out of the bathroom and sat at the table waiting for the coffee to be made. You laid next to the counter and was looking at Sam hoping he would open the door so you can book it out of there as soon as possible.

Dean walks up to the coffee maker and pours himself a cup of hot coffee and adds creamer and sugar. He then accidentally dropped the spoon right on top of you. You felt the silver spoon burn your skin and yelped and jumped back. Dean and Sam then grab their guns and aim right at you. You never had to deal with a situation like this, in fact you were terrified, so you slowly backed up in fear until you were against the back wall by the bed.

"I know you're a skinwalker! Who are you!" shouted Dean while tightening his grip on his gun.

#sam winchester x reader #sam winchester #supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester x you

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facesofopioids-blog · 6 years ago

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‼️ This Post Can Be Shared ‼️

Spotlight Sunday

"God's Kiss"

By: Kelly Morgan

So there he was, standing in front of me, his smile his eyes has bright blue eyes every part of his face Charmed me to no end. He asked me if I would go out with him sometime, I said sure, why not. Here I was the single mom of 3 boys working two jobs, how on Earth could I possibly say no to such a Charming Man. The beginning of our relationship started off with him picking me up for an hour or two before my midnight shift and he would ask me do you want to go for a ride of course I always said yes because that was the only time I was going to get with him while I was working. After a while I began to realize that these little drives and trips seemed very odd I would be sitting in the car and he would go into a house, it was never the same house, and he would stay inside for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour and I would just sit in the car. It didn't dawn on me until a few months later when I was having severe back pain and he reached into his pocket and he pulled out a little yellow pill, what he had really been doing in those houses. All of those little trips and drives that I went with him on for the first few months of our relationship had really been him selling and flipping pain pills. I had taken pain pills in the past after surgery or after breaking a bone, but never had I paid any attention to the feeling that it gave me. I never realized that I was getting an intense euphoric High. But from that day forward, he would hand me the occasional pills weather at the white, yellow, or blue. Then he introduced to me the brown one the one that he said would be hard to chew up because it's not supposed to be chewed up. It was my first Oxycontin. I remember not being able to keep my eyes open not being able to pee, throwing up, and just being completely out of it, and that was the first time I realized that my Prince Charming was just feeding me pills. This one on from May of 2013 when he convinced me to quit those two jobs and go back to my old job as a dancer. I didn't think anything of it, but he said that the extra money could help us get a house and a car and take care of the kids, and it would be a lot easier to do the things that we wanted to do together. So I did just that. I went back to work as a dancer and it first I loved it. I had missed dancing. I didn't think I would still be any good at it. After about 2 months of dancing, I decided after having a really good night of work where I made $800 in 4 hours, that we should go and do something really fun. I decided to plan a trip to an amusement park. One that I had not been to in years, one that I remember going to since the age of 6 years old every year until I was 18 years old. Remembering it always being a blast and we never ever left early. We stayed until the very end, until the parade, and until the fireworks, and then falling asleep in the car on the way home. I was really really looking forward to our day at the amusement park and we went, and we rode a few rides, but then all of a sudden things felt different just around 2 p.m. I started to feel really tired, a little bit sweaty, had just lost all of my energy, so much so that we took a break. Put our heads down and started to fall asleep. I just really did not feel good and I wasn't sure why, but I figured it wasn't getting any better so let's just go home and it was only 4 p.m.. After spending all of the money on the trip and for food and everything that we did at the amusement park, gas, tolls and every other expense I knew I only had about $40 left and he asked me on the way home for that $40. Then he decided to call his friend and we stopped at his friends house. After he met his friend, he handed me a pill. Sure enough, 20 minutes later I started to feel better and that's when I knew I was becoming physically dependent, physically dependent on pain pills..

Now let's fast forward 3 months. He started coming to my house acting really really funny. His face would be beat red. He would be just sitting there and he would start nodding out. I would find him in the bathroom sleeping on the toilet. He would be gone from my house for hours and hours upon hours. However for these hours all I did was sit home and wonder where he was and what he was doing.. Then on Halloween of 2013, my phone went off and there was a text message from one of his friends and it stated "Brandon, don't do it three times and you are hooked, it is the worst decision I've ever made in my life." I became concerned and I questioned him wondering what this text could possibly mean, and when I asked him what he had been doing and what this text was about. His answer was he had smoked a Wiki stick. I had no idea what that was. I had never done a drug in my life, so he elaborated further and told me that it was marijuana rolled up dipped in embalming fluid and then you would smoke it. For some reason I just couldn't believe it. There was no way that anything that had to do with marijuana could be getting him this messed up. I then decided to call his friend. I wanted to figure out the truth what it was that he was really doing and they told me that it was up to him to let me know. But he wouldn't. So I decided to continue my day. It was Halloween, we needed to get home and get the boys ready for trick-or-treating. Before we went trick-or-treating, he said we needed to go to the gas station, and that's when I saw it my first hand to hand Exchange. I had no idea what it was that he had in his hand. I asked him after we were trick-or-treating what it was that he had and he didn't say anything. I saw him walking to my bathroom so I decided to barge in behind him. I asked him let me see this, stop and so he showed it to me he pulled out this tiny little bag with a little whitish tan Chunk in it. At that point I had figured out that it was heroin. I then demanded that he do some in front of me, and he did just that and then out of pure Spite and pure anger not even the slightest amount of curiosity just anger and hostility, I demanded him.. okay, now let me try some, let me see what this big hype is all about, let me understand what it is that is making you come to my house everyday so messed up that you can't even keep your eyes open. He responds with no no no, and I continued with my anger. I said no, let me do some. I really need to see what the big deal is. And finally he gave in. He broke out a little tiny line on my bathroom sink and he rolled up a dollar bill for me and I put it in my nose and I snorted the substance off of my bathroom sink. I walked into my bedroom and I just remember this intense very intense feeling of euphoria. What I had done, they always describe the feeling is God's kiss, and to this day although at the time it made sense, the phrase used to describe what I felt in that moment absolutely disgusts me. I had no idea what I had just gotten myself into but I became a monster for exactly 10 months. I was working and working, just making money to support my new habit. One that I had no idea I would get by just doing one small line. I did anything and everything any addicts would do to get their High. I lied I stole, I pawned everything I owned, I ran from the police I'm in if you waited people absolutely anything and everything to get that feeling again. But you only get that feeling once, you don't get it again, because now you are stuck. Your mind doesn't need it but your body does. You just can't go without it, you can't function, you can't get up in the morning, you can't take care of your children.. you neglect everything, you aren't yourself anymore, you don't shower, you don't put makeup on, you don't spend time with anyone, you avoid family, you've lost all your friends, you've lost your mind, and you've lost yourself. You have no self respect, you have no dignity, you are not recognizable by those around you, you can't even recognize yourself when you look into a mirror.

I will never forget the last time I decided I was going to get high. I had danced all night it was 3 in the morning when I got off of work. I asked my friend to give me a ride so that I could go and get my dope. I would originally go to Illinois, that was my go-to, but because it was so late my friend asked me.. no can we just go where we went before work since it's a lot closer and it's really late. So I called that guy instead and he said come on. And so we went and on the way there I get a text on my phone that said "ALLEY". I DIDN'T THINK ANYTHING OF GOING INTO THE ALLEY BECAUSE I'VE BEEN THERE BEFORE. As we approach the street that turns into the alley, I turned in my friend and I said your car is making a funny noise, my Prince Charming in the backseat says, “no the car is not making a funny noise those are gunshots”. I said, no they're not.. I was oblivious. I didn't care. I just needed to get high. I didn't want to be sick. So I said, “we're fine, we're fine, let's go”, and then we turn into the alley. My boyfriend tells my friend to turn off the headlights so that no cops would see us and she did just that. I remember a sense of anxiety as I was looking down at my phone texting my dealer three different texts that I will never forget. The first one said I'm here, the second one then said, Hurry I'm here, and the final text said, I'm here hurry. It was then that I heard the Earth shattering words OH MY GOD HE HAS A GUN!!! I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO THINK I DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO BLINK I TURN MY HEAD TO THE LEFT AND I PUT MY RIGHT ARM AND HAND IN FRONT OF MY FACE BULLETS WERE FLYING LEFT AND RIGHT. I REMEMBER SCREAMING REVERSE REVERSE GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE REVERSE REVERSE GET THE F*** OUT OF HERE. But then I found out I never said a word I didn't make a peep until I realized I was in a gas station parking lot. I was safe, and then I leaned over in my seat and it's really warm feeling in my chest and blood just started pouring out of my mouth. My hand and my arm felt like they were on fire, and I looked down and all I see is just blood. I look to the right of me because at that point I realized I have been shot.

Not one time, not two times, but three. I turned my head and I looked at the back of my seat and I saw more blood and that's when I realized I had been hit in my head and I was terrified. I let out the most horrific scream anybody could ever let out. My prince charming gets out of the back seat and he comes up to me and he's like my baby, she shot, she's been shot, she's hurt. Call an ambulance. Before the ambulance could get there I was begging him please hold me, I'm going to die, he asked me, “what about my warrant” I said I don't care, I'm dying, I'm bleeding to death, please just hold me. And he didn't. He ran. He left me there to die, because he was more concerned about going to jail then the fact that he was about to lose the so-called love of his life to drugs and gunfire. There was no time to waste. When I thought I was yelling at them to reverse reverse and get out of the alley, I wasn't yelling. I was dead. I was looking at myself in that vehicle trying to tell them how to get us to safety. I remember getting into the ambulance. I remember talking to the paramedics, and then nothing. I had coded. My heart stopped in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. And then I remember a nurse asking me for a family members phone number and I remember giving my mom's phone number and my sister's phone number. And then I forget some more.. My heart had stopped again. I was at. One last time and barely stabilize me and I remember hearing my mom's voice asking me what happened and I remember responding mom I got shot I got shot. Let's fast-forward 2 days I wake up trying to pull the breathing tube out of my throat I remember family member squeezing my hand, asking me if I could hear them and I squeezed. I squeeze really really hard and multiple times so that they could know I can hear them and that I was alive.

So let's backtrack a second so where I said that the words used to describe the feeling when I did that first line of heroin as God's kiss and why it disgusts me is because I know truly what God's kiss really feels like. It feels like opening your eyes to having your whole family standing around you thanking him for saving your life. Thanking him for getting you out of that alley and bringing you to safety. And it feels like being able to quit heroin cold turkey, in the Intensive Care Unit while you are urinating on yourself. God's kiss is being able to wake up everyday now for 4 years one month and 23 days sober and clean and not having to chase a high. God's kiss is being able to once again look in the mirror and recognize yourself. God's kiss is being able to be here and still hear the sound of your children's laughter even their screaming and their fighting, the little things like that that I used to take for granted. God's kiss is being able to feel your children's arms wrap around you, to hug you, or their little lips kissing you on the cheek and hearing them tell you how much they love you. God's kiss is being able to be 100% yourself around your family, around your friends, not having to hide the fact that you're high and not having to avoid them when you're sick. God's kiss is being given a second chance at life when you didn't feel that you deserved one. Although my addiction was short-lived, just 10 months, it doesn't justify anything as I previously stated. I was a monster. I had no strength. I wasn't happy. I wasn't me. I didn't exist. I am so blessed to be able to say that I am still here today and I'm not just existing. I don't try to numb any pain. I live my life through anything, no matter how hard it gets, no matter how bad it sucks that I had to go through what I did. That tragic moment in my life as tragic as it was saved my life. I will say it time and time again, if the drugs don't kill you, the lifestyle will. And to this day I could be really really bitter I could be really angry at the people who shot me.. But why for what? It doesn't fix anything, it doesn't undo any damage. So instead of sulking and crying about it, I decided to pick my head up. And it’s when I finally picked my head up, that I came to the realization that I may actually need to thank these guys. Because although they almost killed me, they also saved my life. If I wouldn't have taken those bullets that night, drugs would have taken me. And I am living proof that if you have the strength to take real bullets, then you can take anything life has to throw at you. You don't need drugs to numb the pain, you need pain. It is how you know you are alive. I've heard a lot of people say that fear has two meanings. You can fear everything and run.. You can face everything and you can rise. But I decided to come up with my own rendition of that, my own meaning of fear…

YOU CAN FEEL EVERYTHING AND YOU CAN RECOVER!!!. MY NAME IS KELLY AND THIS IS MY STORY AND I TRULY HOPE THAT ONE DAY I WILL INSPIRE SOMEBODY. I DON'T WANT ANYBODY AFRAID THAT IF THEY GO AND BUY DRUGS THEY COULD GET SHOT AND ALMOST DIE, I WANT MY INSPIRATION TO BE ABOUT STRENGTH AND ABOUT FIGHTING FOR YOUR LIFE. #sundayspotlight #facesofopioids #addiction #overdose

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