#i couldn't draw all weekend cause of medication

[yakichoufd]

[sugarpopss]

November 30th, 1942

This is very much inspired by that post thats like 'remember how Bucky said he enlisted so Steve wouldn't worry about him'. I just couldn't stop thinking about Bucky getting his draft letter and being so worried about people worrying about him. This draws heavily from the lore developed in the chat with @bucknastysbabe , inculding but not limited to: Rebeccas food thing, George Barnes the WWI vet who died from a medical problem caused by his time in the amry, Steve and Rebecca being close, Ma Barnes being one of the kindest people in the world and a midwestern girlie...etc etc. Sources for the bits of research I did for this fic are here and here.

November 30th, 1942

In 1942, on the Monday after Thanksgiving, Bucky got a letter. He saw it when he got home from the docks, slightly crumpled between Rebecca’s algebra and geography books on the kitchen counter. It had gotten a little damp in the mailing process and was stuck to the front of a letter to his mother, from her own mother back in Iowa. He didn’t think too much of it-he was too exhausted to think much of anything. Unloading crates from ships was far from the worst work in the world, but it sure did zap his energy and fill his sinuses with dust and dirt and smoke. Some of the old timers-guys who claimed to remember striking for a 5 cent raise-liked to joke that pretty soon ‘pretty boy Barnes’ would get to know the sort of back pain that went hand-in-hand with a lifetime of hauling cargo, and that would trump exhaustion every time. 

Bucky always laughed it off. They were just joking around, and he’d take any ache in the world if it meant being able to take care of his family, anyway. Even if his Ma kept bringing up trade schools that weren’t too far or too expensive, and Steve was champing at the bit to join the military, Bucky was fine right where he was. He was just fine in the apartment he grew up in, working hard, flirting with the girls running telegrams in the harbormaster's office, walking Rebecca home from school when he got off in time. He got fantasy novels from the library with Clark Gable knights and Lana Turner princesses on the covers; He boxed on the weekends and was always a good sport; He caught Rebecca in the short hallway connecting their bedrooms every morning and gave her a noogie; He went to the cinema with Steve when they both had a little change in their pockets and flicked popcorn kernels at each other like they were kids. 

All that to say-Bucky was doing perfectly fine. He wasn’t raring to make a name for himself or see some great bloody glory. He definitely wasn’t interested in signing up for the war. The picture of his father on the mantel, clean shaven in an army uniform from twenty years ago, kicked the sense back into him whenever he thought about it. If the photograph of the man Bucky could barely remember didn’t work, the urn next to it surely did. 

And all of these things were reasons why, when he unstuck the damp mail from his sisters schoolbooks, the bottom just about dropped out of his stomach. The ink was a little smeared from getting wet, but still perfectly legible: for him, with the selective service system logo stamped right on the front. 

It was like the entire apartment tilted, rocked like a seesaw and threw him completely off balance. Without even thinking, Bucky stuffed the letter into his pocket. He didn’t want to look at it, think about it, deal with it. Whatever it said-as if there was any question as to its contents-he would worry about later. Preferably not standing in the middle of the kitchen in his grimy work clothes, whale eyed and frightfully pale.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The letter remained stuffed deep in Buckys pocket until after supper. Bathed, comfortably full and bone deep tired, he was usually out like a light after working a full day. But instead of passing out underneath the quilt-a gift from the elderly widow two floors up, after he’d spent the summer of ‘35 bringing up her mail and groceries and painting over the water damage on her kitchen ceiling-he fished the letter out from the pants strewn on the floor and just…held it. Looked at it. Turned it over, looked at where his address had been smudged a little by the damp. It was definitely for him; no mistake there. His full name was right there on the address line, middle initial and everything. 

Maybe it was completely mundane! Every guy had to sign up for selective service-tons of them probably got letters about misspelled words or unchecked boxes. Maybe he’d written something down incorrectly back when he had filled out the forms. 18-year-olds were stupid, after all, and he probably hadn’t been paying that much attention to the information he was putting down. That was most likely it; He’d put his birthday down as October 3rd instead of March 10th by accident, or initialed something that was supposed to be a signature or vice versa. So what if it’d been four years since he filled out that paperwork? Tiny errors like that were probably pretty low priority for the selective service, especially after America joined the war. 

He was just going to open the letter and see what they needed him to fix or resign. 

He opened the letter. He read it once, then twice, then three times. 

There was no problem with the paperwork he’d filled out at 18. 

He didn’t need to resign any forms or recheck any boxes.  

He did need to report to the local selective service board the following Tuesday. 

Oh. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. 

Buckys first thought wasn’t ‘I don’t want to join the military’. It wasn’t even ‘I’m scared’. Buckys very first thought was for his family. He couldn’t be in the military! He was an important part of the household! The Barnes had only recently edged back into a relatively comfortable financial situation because of the combined incomes Bucky and his Ma brought in, and someone had to be around to look after Rebecca-as much as she’d protest and whine that she was 16, she didn’t need to be looked after-when their Ma couldn’t. Someone needed to haul Steve out of fights and into dance halls, because yes, Steve was as good as family, would’ve been even if Rebecca hadn’t declared he had ‘adopted brother rights’ years ago. 

Buckys second thought was ‘I don’t want to join the military’, because he didn’t. He’d never wanted to, never even seriously entertained the idea. There had already been a Barnes man in a war and it had destroyed him; robbed a good man of his peace and his health, robbed Buckys mother of a husband and himself and Rebecca of a father. Hell, Rebecca had never even met their father-he had died two months before she was born. A couple of old photographs, a ceramic urn, and a watch and wedding band with no hand to wear them were all she knew of the man. 

It made Buckys stomach turn to think about leaving his family for the thing that had put his father in the grave before 40. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning he started to think. He couldn’t tell his Ma he’d been drafted-he certainly couldn’t tell Rebecca or Steve. They’d all worry too much for him. The downside to having loved ones was that as much as you loved them, they also loved you. And loving someone meant worrying for them when they were about to get scooped out of their life with less than a months notice. 

It’d be less worrying if he'd just enlisted, if he had made a choice, even a rash, ill-advised one. At least that would imply he had some sort of excitement or confidence in joining the military. At least that would imply that he was ready, that nobody needed to worry about him because Bucky himself wasn’t worried or scared or hesitant. 

That was the thought that he chewed on all day. Chewed on it so much, in fact, that he barely chewed anything else, including his supper. And that was strange behavior for Bucky. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Rebecca had asked him. It sounded incredibly blunt, but to be entirely fair, she had first made a frantic gesture towards the peas on her plate with her head-because Rebecca was not eating peas that week, and if she could switch their plates without their Ma noticing she could avoid a stern look and a ‘clean plates club’ lecture-and then kicked him under the table when her head tossing got no response. 

Their Ma was looking at him, too. If there was one thing the Barnes siblings were, it was chatty, and although Rebecca had been blathering on about how a girl in her geography class had gotten in trouble for wearing lipstick, Bucky had been almost entirely silent. And he’d barely touched his food even though he wasn’t on the same legume strike as his sister. 

He shrugged, trying to play it cool, casual and calm. He took a bite of his food-the peas were fine even if they came from a can, because their Ma was an excellent cook. Rebecca was just weird about food sometimes-to give himself time to think. 

He settled on “I can’t walk you home next week.” 

Rebecca sighed in that ‘God, you’re all so uptight and dramatic’ way that teenagers do. “I don’t need you to walk me home. I’m not a kid, I know how to get home from school.” 

Their Ma gave him another curious look, though. “Did you make plans?” she asked. “With Steve? With a girl?”

She didn’t sound upset, just…curious. It was odd, after all, for Bucky to not want to walk Rebecca home. He tried very hard to align his hours at the docks with her school schedule. It was important to him, to make sure she was safe and that nobody bothered her. 

“Sort of.” He replied. 

He knew that wasn’t a very good answer, and his Mas face reflected it. He’d never in one million years chose some dame over his sister, and Steve was as good as Rebeccas second brother. He was more likely to just join in on the walk than make plans over it. Hell, half of the time they did things as a trio-things like pooling Christmas and birthday money to go to Coney Island, an outing upon which the then teen boys had ridden the Cyclone, Steve had vomited into a public trash can, and Rebecca had proven that she was somehow remarkable at darts despite never having played before in her life. 

His Ma raised her eyebrow. God, he was bad at lying, bad at keeping secrets, bad at misleading people. 

“I-” He met his Mas eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, steeled himself. “It’ll be a few days next week, actually. I enlisted and I’m reporting to induction on Tuesday.” 

The world didn’t end once he said it. A small part of him-the part that reminded Bucky he hadn’t lied to his Ma since he was 17 and she asked if he had cigarettes in his bedroom, and even then he’d come clean about two hours later-had expected something huge and dramatic to happen. Maybe both his mother and sister would drop their forks and snap their heads up, maybe a police siren or fire alarm would go off somewhere nearby, maybe lightning would strike the building. 

But none of that happened. Rebecca continued pushing her food around her plate. “No you didn’t.” She scoffed.

Their Ma didn’t dismiss his statement as a joke, but her expression was difficult to read. “You did?” She asked, her voice stern and level. 

Bucky kept going. In for a penny, in for a pound. “I was just thinking about it and it seemed like a good idea. I stopped at the recruiting center last week. I…” 

He trailed off. This wasn’t a perfectly thought through lie, but it felt like a necessary one. 

“Yeah.”

Rebeccas fork actually did clatter to her plate once he finished talking. She looked up at her brother, agape with bright pink spots at the high points of her cheeks. 

“You’re fucking joking! You can’t just leave!” 

“Rebecca Grace!” Their Ma snapped, though it was clear that her heart wasn’t in it. 

Rebecca shot up from the table, her eyes-bright blue like Buckys, like their late fathers-welling up with tears. “No! You can’t leave, that’s not fair!” 

With that she stormed off, the slam of her bedroom door in the small apartment sounding like a gunshot. 

Bucky swallowed and looked down at his food. He wasn’t hungry anymore. 

“James.” 

He looked up at his Ma. Guilt immediately began to eat at him. Guilt for the lie, guilt for having to leave them, guilt for everything his Ma had been through and would go through in the future. 

“What branch?” 

He swallowed again. The guilt was crawling up his throat like vomit. He wanted to admit it was a lie, to say he was scared and didn’t want to go and didn’t know what to do. But there was nothing to be done. All he could do was help the people who loved him to not worry so much. 

“Army. Like dad.” 

She raised her eyebrows. They barely ever spoke about George Barnes military career. Not to say that they never spoke about Bucky and Rebeccas father at all-he’d been the love of their Mas life, she had plenty of stories about him. But they didn’t talk about his time in Europe. Bucky had always gotten the impression that his father hadn’t spoken much about his time in Europe when he was still alive, anyway. 

“Your father was drafted. He didn’t choose the army.” 

He shrugged. 

She sighed and put her fork down, picked it back up, put it down again. 

“I don’t-” She sighed again. “I can’t tell you what to do. You’re a grown man and you get to make your own choices.” 

Bucky didn’t feel like a grown man at that moment. He felt like a little boy trying to convince his mother that he wasn’t afraid of the dark. 

“Do you genuinely want to join the military?”  

The earnest concern in the question was what broke him. He took a very deep breath and met his Mas eyes, blue on brown. She had asked like there was any changing it. Even if he had voluntarily enlisted, he wouldn’t be able to do anything about it after the fact. 

“No. I-I…the letter came yesterday and I have to go on Tuesday and I-.” Bucky cut himself off, feeling something far too much like tears in his eyes, something far too much like a sob beginning to choke up his throat. 

“Jamie, sweetheart…” She stood from the table and opened her arms to him, a hug that he gladly accepted. Three inches taller than his mother or not, 22 years old or not, there was nothing more comforting than his Mas embrace. 

“It’ll be alright, Jamie.” 

By god, he hoped so. 

[lostonehero]

More time travel

Just to preface this I hate security breech but I love the idea Micheal can't fucking rest and ends up as glamrock Freddy

Also Gregory is a spilt from Evan the crying child spirit robo kid

Anyhow let's go

Henry sighs as he parks in the diners parking lot. They had to shut down for the weekend, Henry couldn't run this place by himself, and William's youngest had a meltdown. He hoped it was just a meltdown. He didn't think he could get those screams out of his head. He sighs as he spots his partner heavy eye bags and a sleep deprived look with a warm coffee in his hands. "Is Evan ok?"

William frowns. "He stopped screaming, and he responds to Evan again. He isn't normal yet, but Clara is convinced it's Micheal's fault. She locked him in his room and hadn't been able to see him all weekend. He's 11 Henry, and he can't cause that kind of damage. Clara won't let me take him to the hospital."

Henry matches his partner frown. "We have to figure out what caused it."

"I'm going to tear this place to the nails and rebuild it so nothing ever happens again." William barely bites back a yawn.

Henry nods as he unlocks the door he only manages to take a few steps in before he can hear William shout.

"MICHEAL DAVID AFTON DID YOU SPEND THE WEEKEND HERE?" William shouts, and it barely stirs his son sleeping at the table. A notepad he got from the security office was next to him.

Henry picks up the notebook and starts to read through it. His eyes get wider as he keeps going. "William...." Henry grabs the taller man before he could shake Micheal awake. "William, look at this. Micheals is the same age as my girl."

William rubbed his temples. "Henry, I know that. Why are you bringing it up? Clara lied to me. Micheal never came home. She locked his room, and I believed her." He can't even spiral as Henry shoves the note pad at him.

"William read it now." Henry's tone doesn't leave room for argument. "I have to check...." He sinks into a bench. "Your son can't write like that, right?"

William can feel the panic and shame drain from him. Even his exhaustion was replaced with confusion as he flipped through the notepad detail sketches of designs he couldn't even fathom were on the pages, then drawings of human anatomy and changes. Then the writing the handwriting was too neat to be from a child, and too detailed as well. He sat next to Henry as both men read the notepad detail notes upon detail notes spread across the pages.

There was a list on the front.

1. You're alive. You have to eat, and (recharge was crossed out replaced with sleep)

2. Are you 11? 10? Doesn't matter you are a child.

3. Cleaned the diner. Didn't have to need something to pass the time.

4. Found fathers sewing kid fixed a unform for my body. (Body is then crossed out and replaced with you're alive. Micheal refers to yourself as such)

4. Eyes glow and change color based on mood did not have that when I was alive or a corpse.

5. Remember to eat and drink. You have bodily functions again.

6. (Medical scan is crossed out) Not a machine figure out what is different than your normal human you had 40? No 60 years ago before you were a walking corpse.

7. I fucking forgot about Gregory fuck (the name is bold and underlined)

8. Wait for father to return, I am a child, and it would be suspicious if I just left here by myself.

9. Scratch that recharge then leave when the sun comes up its the fucking 80s stranger danger isn't a thing yet.

10. Figure out how I got here, and again, check out my body. I haven't done that yet.

11. Am I too young to have coffee yet, I know physically, yes, but is that different if you have an adult mind?

(The rest is just general diary entries and extremely detailed notes of the repairs and fixes he has done around the diner as if he already knows how everything works. Along with detailed drawings and anatomy sketches of his new features that humans shouldn't have.)

William and Henry share a look at each other. Neither man knows how to move forward, and Micheal is still dead asleep.

Henry spoke up first. "I'm going to check the animotronics."

"I-i'll check the kitchen and security office." William stutters each man had to confirm what was written.

......

What both men found was that the building was spotless, and every single mechanical issue they had was fixed. Micheal even fixed the camera in the kitchen. They returned to where Micheal was still asleep as William gently shook him awake.

"Mmmh, five more minutes, need to charge..." Micheal mumbles and shakes slightly harder, and he screws his eyes shut. He huffed and opened his eyes they were glowing a bright blue. He rubs his eyes and sits up, cracking his back. It doesn't do much considering he is a child.

"Micheal...?" William cautiously spoke, not really ready for how Micheal was going to act.

Micheal yawned, looking over to his father. "Good morning, I assume you've read my diary." Henry stops him from grabbing William's coffee. His attention turns to his uncle. He wasn't exactly used to seeing him young and full of life. Charlie's death ruined the man, and he devolved into his work building a massive franchise at the cost of his sanity. The fake pizzeria was the last time he saw the man withered by age and depression. He didn't look any better, but still. Here was his uncle before the tragedy before the ruin. He flicked his eyes to his father. He wasn't his mother's puppet. He wasn't a drunk that was a slave to her control. He wasn't a corpse in that springlock failure. He was still him."

Both men stepped back as Micheal pushed himself out of the bench. He stood up and scratched his stomach. William noticed his nails looked pained and that his teeth were much sharper than they should have been, and white like ivory. "Micheal?"

Micheal looks up at his father and sighs. "Hello again father, it's been a while." He frowns at his voice. "I forgot how high pitched my voice before puberty. Doesn't matter." He wipes his mouth of the drool from his sleep. "I'm not used to having bodily functions again."

Henry raises his brow and gives a look to William, who merely shrugs. The notebook only referred to a corpse body, then that one of a machine. "Micheal, what happened?"

Micheal pauses. "I was running away from a woman named Vanessa protecting a child, his name is Gregory and we fell.... I woke up here approximately 56 hours ago. Everyone had left, which was odd because I don't recall that ever happening except.... that isn't important, but I woke up alone and confused. I'm not used to being small." He's not used to having strong emotions again either.

William reaches out and pulls Micheal into a hug, and he can feel Micheal start to cry he was silent, which threw up major red flags. "Hey, it's ok, how about we get breakfast and we can talk. How old are you?"

Micheal sniffs, clinging to his father. "I don't know, but it was 2036."

Henry's eyes widen. "I'll start my car, and we can head to the local diner since you did a very good job fixing up everything." He smiles as Micheal nods.

Neither adult knew how to handle this situation. William was at a loss for how he even forgot his son at their diner, and Henry could see the sheer amount of horrors Micheal ad faced with his thousand yard stare.

......

Micheal kicks his feet, staring at the menu. He looks confused and slightly overwhelmed. He grabs his father's arm when the waitress comes by.

William raises his brow but sighs. "I'll have the spinach omelet, and my son will have the chocolate chip pancakes."

Henry smiles. "Oh, I'll have the steak and eggs."

The waitress smiles. "Pretty late seeing you two here. Good morning at the diner?"

William nods. "Just a bit of maintenance, and everything is running smoothly."

"That's great to hear my little angel loves the place." She smiles and heads to the kitchen.

Micheal frowns. "I apologize. I haven't had to really eat in a long time. I think I've forgotten what I like."

William can feel his heart break. "It's alright. We can always figure it out."

Henry nods. "Micheal, is it ok to ask why you seem so nervous?"

Micheal shrugs. "I haven't uh been around a lot of adults in a long time, or people for that matter, I think I was 21 or 22 when I got scooped and became a living corpse couldn't really stay in touch with anyone after that. I was close to Jeremy for a while, but we got into a massive fight right before I got scooped, and I ran away like a coward." He messes with his hands. "Probably deserve it, though, I ended up killing Evan when I was 14 golden Freddy jaw can crush a skull." He bites his lip. "Lozzie died before that baby malfunction and stuffed her into her chest cavity." He stops seeing both men stare at him in shock and horror.

William clears his throat. "I..."

Micheal frowns, crossing his arms. "I'm sorry. I haven't, I uh..." He sighs frustrated his eyes flicker red. "This was easier before." He stops as his father ruffles his hair, and his eyes return to his normal blue.

"We have time to stop the tragedy." William pats his son's back. "Take a breath. We can do this."

Henry clears his throat. "Your father is right, but I do have to ask who Gregory is? Was he in the diner with you? Do you think he came back with you? If there is another child, I don't want them to be trapped there."

Micheal shakes his head. "I looked everywhere. I couldn't find him."

Henry nods. "Ok, we can search for him later."

The waitress returns with their food, and Micheal stares at his food, not really understanding how to proceed. He pokes at it, pulling off a piece and shoving it into his mouth. His eyes light up like they were glowing as he continues to rip off pieces eating his food like he hadn't eaten anything in years. William has to grab his hands.

"Micheal, please use a fork and knife." William looks down at his son, who seems to finally return to reality, and his face grows red, and his eyes glow a yellow.

"R-right, my apologies." Micheal cleans off his hands and eats slowly with a fork. "I think I like them."

Henry holds back a laugh as William wipes off Micheal's mouth. "You seem out of practice, I think I can help remedy that."

William gives Henry a look. "It is getting too cold for one of your cookouts."

"Bah, it's fine. we can have one." Henry smiles as William sputters.

Micheal smiles softly. "Can I go home? I want to see Elizabeth and Evan again. It's been a long time, and I have to apologize."

"Of course, after we finish, I'll take you home, and I have to talk to your mother.

.....

Micheal didn't recognize Evan at first he looked too much like Gregory, or was it the other way around. It didn't matter he nervously got closer to him. "Hello Evan." His moments were robotic, and he gave a half nervous smile.

Evan's eyes flicker as he takes a breath. "....Mikey?"

Micheal nods, and he can't control how much his eyes start to glow.

"Freddy?" Evan's voice changes it inflection to one Micheal recognized.

"Gregory....?" Micheal tilts his head.

Elizabeth tugs at Micheal's arm. "Are you a weird time person too?"

"What?" Micheal stared down at his sister.

Evan looks embarrassed. "I uh.... Mikey my uh.... my spirit split... my parts were reused to uh..."

"Gregory was an android?" Micheal pauses sitting next to his brother, and Elizabeth sits next to him.

"Yes?" Evan pauses. "I didn't know I could eat and stuff."

Micheal sighs. "Ok, it's ok."

"You were Freddy? How did you die?" Evan stares you at him

"I died twice." Micheal frowns. "I got scooped, and then I was burned." He sighs. "I'm sorry, Evan."

"Don't..." Evan leans against him. "We both have agreed that you're ok, but Gregory wants your foxy mask."

Micheal smiles. "Yeah, you can take it."

"But you don't have it yet." Evan giggles.

Micheal crosses his arms. "Then why ask for it?"

Evan shrugs.

Elizabeth gasps. "If you're giving away your stuff, I want your plushies."

"No." Micheal frowns. "However, you can paint my nails and do my hair whenever you want."

"Can you have tea parties with me?" Elizabeth smiles when Micheal nods. "Then you can keep them."

I'm so glad you won't take them." Micheal sighs and nearly jumps when the shouting starts. His eyes glow yellow and hold onto Elizabeth and Evan.

Elizabeth clings to Micheal's arm, and Evan clings to the other.

"Let's have a tea party in my room." Micheal gets up carrying both his siblings. He didn't really let either of them argue.

......

Micheal distracts the two long enough that they take a nap on his bed. He looks over to his door opening. He sees his father with a large gash across his cheek and a stab wound in his shoulder. "Father, you are injured."

William sighs, holding his shoulder. "Your mother...." He stops. "It was just an accident. I'm sure she was just threatened by me raising my voice."

Micheal knew that was a big fat lie, but he knew his father didn't know that. He takes a breath. "Father, you need to take us to Uncle Henry's now."

"Micheal, what are you..."

"Father, this is not a suggestion." Micheal stands up. "I know Mother hurts you if you do not follow her instructions. I also know mother has been killing the local pets and strays. I know you know this, too." He stares at his father. "Take us to Uncle Henry's."

William nods, picking up his two sleeping children as Micheal follows behind him.

......

Margaret answered the door and covered her mouth, William was covered in blood, and it looked like his shoulder was still bleeding, and he was swaying from blood loss. His three children were in front of him, and Micheal was holding onto his two siblings. "What happened?"

"Inside." Micheal mumbles, pushing past her, helping his two siblings inside. "Need string and a needle and a lighter."

Margaret shakes her head and drags William inside. "What the fuck happened?" The door slams behind her alerting her husband and daughter who just got back from school.

"Uncle William?" Charlie stops when her mother gives her a look.

Henry comes in right behind her and freezes. He was no stranger to a knife fight, and his partner looked like he had lost badly. "Margret, I can take him." He grabs William before he falls and motions for Margaret to grab the kids.

"Right, children, come on, this is an adult issue." Margaret is unable to grab Micheal, but she'll come back for him. She herds the other three into the guest room.

Micheal frowns. "Mother stabbed him after he tried to confront her about me."

"It was an accident." William slurs barely upright.

Henry shakes his head. "Micheal, there's a lighter in the front draw and grab a knife. I'm going to caturize the wound."

Micheal nods and follows his instructions as Henry straps his father's shirt off and heats up the knife.

His scream echoes through the home.

Henry shuts his eyes and takes a breath. "Micheal, how long?"

"They were arranged to be married, my father had no choice in the matter." Micheal frowns as he stares at his uncle, who was cleaning up his father's cheek. "You never knew. He never told anyone I found out going through paperwork."

"An arranged marriage?" Henry, stop and look over at his wife. "How much, did you hear?"

"Enough to know, I'm not letting any of them go back." Margaret crosses her arms. "I see enough of the outcome of abuse at work. I don't need to see it on people I care about." She sighs. "I don't even want to know how you know to catutrize a wound like that. Micheal, I don't know what happened to you, but I know you're different, but it doesn't matter." She sighs. "I'll get some of your clothes for him, and Micheal, can you help your siblings?"

"Yes, Aunt Margaret." Micheal runs off down the hall.

......

It's been a few hours, William was still out cold, and Henry was cooking a 6 course meal. She hadn't seen the children, so she walls down, and they weren't in the guest room, and she heard muffled talking from Charlie's room.

Micheal is standing on Charlie's bed with a handful of hand drawn pictures and notes on the wall tapped to the wall and crayon lines connecting them. Charlie was raising her hand. "So Uncle William kills me, and I become the puppet who's lefty?"

Micheal pauses. "Uh, I think a variety of Freddy you used to get around being in the rain. So to continue, after the fire and your father's speech, I woke up in glamrock Freddy." He points to the realize drawing of a colorful Freddy Margaret thinks. "Where I find Gregory aka half of Evan in my stomach hatch used for birthday cake and gifts, and it continues from there. There's the other security guard, Vanessa, who was possessed by our mother Clara, and developed a second personality that kills children, and she went after Gregory, who I know know was a very realistic android, and now understand why he looked so much like Evan. Then, somehow, in our escape, we ended up back in the past where we are now. We've already changed things."

Elizabeth raises her hand. "Did you ever see Jeremy again?"

"No, I did not." Micheal sighs. "I do miss him, but it's not important."

"You deserve to be happy too, Mikey." Evan mumbles.

"Jeremy's our age, so we just have to find him." Charlie gets up. "I vote we look for him since we know future events."

Elizabeth gets up and nods. "Yeah!"

Micheal sighs and covers his face. "That's not important. We have other things to be concerned about." He slams his hand against the wall of the pictures and notes.

Evan stands up. "No, I agree with Evan. we are finding this Jeremy guy first. We want to see your eyes glow pink again."

"Yeah, they were pretty." Elizabeth giggles climbing on the bed.

Charlie nods. "It's like a mood ring."

Micheal sighs and covers his face. "But we have to...."

Margaret clears her throat. "Um...."

"Oh hi, mom. Micheal was explaining the future to us." Charlie smiles. "We have to save the future, isn't that cool."

Margaret nods, straining a smile. "Uh yes, your father made dinner for all of you. Could you guys wash up."

Micheal nods, jumping off the bed and grabbing Elizabeth and Evan. "Time to wash our hands."

Margret stops. "Why is he carrying them like that?"

"Dunno?" Charlie shrugs following after him.

.....

[sugarrspice]

Let's go with number 4. I'm curious to see what you'll do with it :) -Trick

I am wagging my finger at you, Trickster dearest. Since I Saw Vienna by Wilbur Soot is your draw and it's a heartbreaking song. Let's see what we can do with it!

--

When Jackie's phone rings, he knows without even looking who it is. The caller ID is unfamiliar, but the timing isn't.

Balancing the bowl of meat and spices in one hand, he reaches across blindly with his only clean hand to accept it and balance it between his shoulder and ear. The phone is warm against his neck, and when Chase's voice echoes out of the speakerphone, tinny as only the shitty roadside payphones are, it feels almost like Chase is standing over his shoulder, arms looped loosely around him and chin resting on his shoulder.

His chest hurts.

"-was wondering if you had a late shift tonight, but then I remembered you'd literally eat your own arm off before you'd accept a weekend shift-"

He can't help the snort that bubbles up, and he wonders if hundreds of miles away- thousands, now, it's surely been long enough- Chase is smiling, too, in that self-satisfied way he always did whenever he made Jackie laugh at a stupid joke.

"How about you? Find work over there?"

He can hear the fabric rustle as Chase, presumably, shrugs. He always did this over the phone, forgot that the other party couldn't see him. It drove Henrik batty.

"For a few weeks, yeah. That's why I hadn't called. Working as a transcriptionist for this medical office; guess all that listening to Hen did eventually rub off. Wish I'd seen less pictures of someone's foot rotting off 'cause of something or the other going septic, though."

"Dude, gross," Jackie laughs. "You chose that job, you're gonna see some gross stuff. Doesn't mean I want to hear it."

Chase laughs, the sound strangely strained. Jackie's gut lurches, like he missed a step. "Right, sorry. Mister security guy is used to dealing with drunken black-outs, not people's limbs falling off?"

Another shuffling sound. Jackie swallows around the bitterness of the moment, wishes he could reach through the receiver of the phone, curl his hand around Chase's cheek. He wants to smooth away that tension, wants to--

He takes a deep breath in, and out. Gentles his tone, mashing the ground meat in the bowl with renewed force. "Or petty theft. You wouldn't believe how many old lady purses I've had to snatch back. Or the balls on some people."

Chase scoffs, a little, at that, and the tension in Jackie's chest eases with the moment. "No, I can take a guess. People get ballsy on the subway when they think you're asleep. I've had to kick so many people in the knees to get 'em away from my duffle bag."

"Are you being safe? You're not hurt, or anything, right?" Jackie can't help it; he blurts it out before he can second-guess himself, white-knuckling the phone in his hand.

Chase sighs, tinny through the phone, and Jackie has to swallow a lump in his throat as he hears Chase gentle his own voice in turn. "I'm fine, Jacks. I told you, don't worry yourself gray over me; I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," Jackie bites out. He's trying to keep his tone even, in turn, but he can feel the telltale prick of thorns in his chest again, the heat rising to the back of his neck and his eyes. "But it's- not that easy to just stop worrying, Chase. You ran off without a fucking word to any of us, call us maybe once every other month, won't tell us where you are--"

"Oh, we're talking about this now," he hears Chase mutter, away from the receiver, and scowls, setting the bowl down with more force than he really means to.

"We gotta talk about it at some point, Chase, and apparently we're lucky to talk to you at all."

He doesn't have to be in front of Chase this time, to know the way his expression is going to first shutter, and then blossom with irritation. Irritation, and then anger. There's a hissing sound, like Chase is sucking in air through his teeth, and he has to grit his own teeth together to keep from echoing the tic. He's not even sure, by now, who got it from where. If Chase had taken that piece with him, or if it'd been his from the start, if Jackie was white-knuckling on to the last bits he got to keep.

"I told you. I just needed to--"

"Henrik hasn't heard from you since last July. It's March now, Chase," Jackie says, voice going deathly soft. "Marvin refuses to talk about you. I've had to convince Jameson to not start looking for you, that you're fine on your own, and just need time. That it'd be breaching your privacy."

"What little of it I have left," Chase mutters, and Jackie shuts his eyes against the swell of emotion cresting.

"I thought you liked it here," he says, clinging on by the fingernails to his last bits of composure. "You said it felt safe."

"That's why I had to go," Chase snaps back, and Jackie frowns at the bowl of overly-mixed ground meat, picking at the name stamped into the interior of the bowl. "That's why I had to- forget it, just forget it."

"No, hang on, Chase--"

There's that familiar sinking feeling in his gut, again, except he's missed the whole damn flight of stairs. He doesn't- he doesn't fucking understand. He can hear the pain, raw as daylight, scored into Chase's every word, but now he's pulling away, slipping through his fingers again--

"Forget it. I- I have to go. I'm out of change. I'll call you soon."

Chase inhales, brittle and uncertain, and hesitates for a moment longer. Jackie gets the sense, terrible and certain, that if he lets Chase go now, they won't ever hear from him again. He shuts his eyes.

"We'll wait as long as you need," he says, instead, to the cool darkness behind his eyelids. The spices are gritty against his fingertips. "You know that, right? We'll always wait for you."

Chase doesn't reply. Jackie opens his eyes, half-expecting to see his lock-screen, to be met with the dial-tone. The call instead ticks on, in front of him, 10:37 emblazoned in that curlicue font Marvin somehow managed to keep his systems stuck in.

"It's not a burden," he says, quieter. Chase sucks in another breath, and then lets it out. Neither of them comment on if it's shakier than the last.

"I'll be seeing you, Jacks," he says, softly. Not quite a promise, not quite a farewell. Jackie white-knuckles onto it like it's the last thing he'll hear.

"I'll hold you to that," Jackie murmurs, and before he can second-guess himself, says softly, "we love you. I love you."

Chase huffs out a soft not-quite-laugh, and the dial-tone greets him. Jackie only shuts his eyes, holding close the whisper he'd heard over the static.

I love you too.

[ezracapamalabanan]

REFLECTION ESSAY

"Never forget"

Every hour we learn something, there is a reason why it happens for us to learn. This story that I learned is one that I will never forget. In September 2023, I remember that me and my boyfriend were so happy that day because we were spending a lot of time and day bonding because after that day was the weekend, but that day I thought happy was one of those who would bring me trauma.

So this is my story that gave me more lessons. My boyfriend picked me up from school after class to bond together. We talked about whether we should go home first to change our outfits so that we can be comfortable with what the bonding will do. But we agreed not to because it would not be a waste of gas and the time would be long enough to get confused and lost. So we went to the mall to bond together and go around and buy other personal items. After that, we talked about going for rides because what we see is that the weather is good because it's not that hot. But while we were on the trip, we didn't expect it to rain heavily, but we were ready for the rain when we brought a raincoat. We stopped next to stop and put on a raincoat, and we decided to wait for the rain first because we were thinking that we might be damaged by the heavy rain and cause an accident.When the rain stopped, we continued riding, and we ate at the restaurant we passed. That karenderya makes me happy because, for the cheap price, the food here is still very tasty, like I feel in a restaurant, because that food brings me to heaven. I really appreciate food, even if it's cheap or expensive. After we eat and also date, we decide to go home because we just want to watch Netflix and chill at the house. While the boyfriend was driving, there were a lot of signals that we were going through trouble. I heard some shouting on the road as if my feelings were restless. When we were on the highway, we were so happy because we were so excited to watch Netflix, and the unexpected happened. Stop light only a few seconds left; green light all of the motorcycle is running fast, and we are already there. Not far from the crossing, we didn't expect that there was oil on the road that was spreading, and no one gave a warning to the passersby, and that's when we stopped. After all of what happened, I feel like the world has gone silent; I can't hear anything but silence, and I see a car wheel that is very close to me on my side. That happened to make me cry, and it still made me feel soft, but I showed my boyfriend that I am a strong woman, and at that time I didn't feel any pain from anything. But a woman told me that I should sit because He said I had a big wound on my leg, and that's when I felt the pain in my whole body, but I tried to make it okay so that it wouldn't add to my pain, but there was only one thing I mentioned: at that time, the word medic was not. It turns out that you were the only one who had the accident; there were many motorbikes ahead of us. I can't look at my foot with a wound because, when I see it, it only adds to the pain. Until we got home, I hid it from my parents so I wouldn't be surprised by what happened. I tried to be okay, but I couldn't, and I was able to tell my parents what really happened with my boyfriend, and we decided that I should rest first and not go in to heal my wound.

I learned and realized what happened to me: first, always pray before you leave or go everywhere. The second is to always follow the law and follow dress codes for safety, and lastly, always tell your parents what really happened to you so they will help you. That is my story that made me realize and learn.

TRAVELOGUE

"Exploring Baguio's Charm"

Nestled amidst the mountains of the Cordillera region in the Philippines, Baguio City is a place of enchantment and wonder. Its natural beauty, cultural heritage, and vibrant markets draw travelers from far and wide. Join me on a journey as we explore some of Baguio's most iconic spots, from the scenic Mines View to the bustling Baguio Market, and the charming colorful houses that line its streets.

First stop is the Mines View Park and this is my favorite place that I always want to see. As the sun peers over the horizon, I found myself standing at Mines View Park, an elevated vantage point that offers a breathtaking panorama of the city and its surroundings. The remnants of the city's mining past are visible below, with abandoned mines dotting the landscape. The cool mountain breeze and the sight of the majestic mountains in the distance create a sense of tranquility and awe, making Mines View Park a must-visit spot in Baguio.

Our family next stop is the Burnham Park. The heart of Baguio beats at Burnham Park, a verdant oasis in the midst of the city. At the center of the park lies Burnham Lake, its shimmering waters reflecting the beauty of the surrounding landscape. Visitors can partake in boat rides on the lake, savor a leisurely stroll along its promenades, or simply relax amidst nature's embrace. The laughter of children, the chirping of birds, and the fragrance of flowers fill the air, creating a serene retreat for all who visit.

Our 3rd stop is the Baguio market. Step into the vibrant tapestry of Baguio Market, where colors, aromas, and flavors collide in a sensory feast. Stalls brim with fresh fruits, vegetables, and local handicrafts, creating a bustling hub of activity. Sample the succulent strawberries and juicy mangoes, or immerse yourself in the vibrant tapestry of textiles and souvenirs. The market pulses with the energy of local vendors and eager shoppers, offering a glimpse into Baguio's vibrant culture and culinary heritage.

Our 4th stop is the Lion's Head. Guarding the entrance to Baguio is the imposing figure of Lion's Head, a symbol of strength and pride. Carved out of limestone, the majestic lion stands tall against the backdrop of the mountains, welcoming visitors with open arms. Tourists flock to the site to capture photos with this iconic landmark, marking their journey to the City of Pines. The rugged beauty of Lion's Head serves as a testament to Baguio's resilience and enduring spirit.

Our last travel is the colorful houses. Wandering through the streets of Baguio, one cannot help but be captivated by the charming array of colorful houses that line the cityscape. Each house is a work of art, painted in vibrant hues of red, blue, yellow, and green, adding a whimsical touch to the city's ambiance. Flowers bloom in window boxes, and decorations adorn the facades, creating a kaleidoscope of colors that delights the eye. The colorful houses of Baguio reflect the creativity and warmth of its residents, making it a truly unique and inviting destination.

As the day draws to a close, I carry with me the memories of Baguio's enchanting charm – from the panoramic views of Mines View Park to the serenity of Burnham Park, the vibrant energy of Baguio Market, the iconic presence of Lion's Head, and the whimsical beauty of the colorful houses. Baguio City is a tapestry of experiences and emotions, waiting to be explored and cherished by all who set foot in this magical mountain retreat.

LITERARY JOURNALISM

" First US-Japan-Philippines summit to boost defense ties"

In a groundbreaking display of unity and strategic partnership, the inaugural US-Japan-Philippines summit marks a pivotal moment in the realm of international relations, as the three nations come together to bolster their defense ties and enhance regional security. This historic convergence of diplomatic forces resonates with the echoes of camaraderie and shared objectives, painting a vivid portrait of collaboration and solidarity in the Asia-Pacific region.

The US-Japan-Philippines summit stands as a beacon of strength and fortitude in the face of evolving global challenges, akin to a well-fortified fortress that shields the participating nations from the winds of uncertainty and adversity. Just as a fortress offers protection and security to those within its walls, this trilateral alliance seeks to fortify its defense capabilities and fortify its commitment to upholding peace and stability in the region.

The spirit of cooperation and partnership dances gracefully across the negotiating table, as leaders from the US, Japan, and the Philippines engage in dialogue and deliberation, imbuing the summit with a sense of vitality and purpose. The alliance itself takes on a life of its own, embodying a shared vision of security and prosperity that transcends national boundaries and individual interests.

The US-Japan-Philippines summit emerges as a symbolic gesture of unity and solidarity, casting a bright light on the importance of multilateral cooperation in addressing pressing security challenges. Like a beacon in the darkness, this alliance illuminates a path forward towards a more secure and resilient future for the Asia-Pacific region, signaling a shared commitment to upholding peace, stability, and the rule of law.

In conclusion, the first US-Japan-Philippines summit to boost defense ties serves as a testament to the power of collaboration and collective action in fostering regional security and prosperity. Through the use of metaphor, personification, and symbolism, we can unravel the layers of complexity and significance inherent in this momentous occasion, capturing the essence of unity, strength, and shared purpose that define the alliance between the US, Japan, and the Philippines. As this trilateral partnership continues to evolve and deepen, may it serve as a shining example of the transformative potential of international cooperation in navigating the challenges of the 21st century global landscape.

MEMOIR

" Reflections on a Year of Resilience During COVID-19 Pandemic"

As the world was plunged into chaos and uncertainty by the relentless spread of the COVID-19 pandemic, I found myself navigating through uncharted waters, grappling with fear, isolation, and loss. The invisible enemy had disrupted lives, shattered dreams, and tested the resilience of individuals and communities worldwide. Join me on a journey through the trials and triumphs of a year defined by the shadow of COVID-19.

The first whispers of the pandemic arrived like a distant storm, foreboding and ominous. As headlines blared with news of a novel coronavirus sweeping across continents, I felt a knot of anxiety tighten in my chest. The once-familiar routines of daily life evaporated as lockdowns were enforced, borders closed, and faces masked. The world as we knew it had shifted, leaving us adrift in a sea of uncertainty.

Days turned into weeks, weeks into months, as isolation became the new norm. The walls of my home became both sanctuary and prison, echoing with the silence of solitude. Time stretched and warped, blurring the lines between yesterday, today, and tomorrow. In the stillness of solitude, I found myself confronting fears, unearthing buried emotions, and reevaluating priorities. The pandemic had forced me to confront my vulnerabilities and rediscover my strength.

Amidst the darkness of the pandemic, rays of light pierced through in the form of acts of kindness and resilience. Communities came together in solidarity, neighbors reached out to help one another, and frontline workers battled tirelessly on the front lines. Random acts of kindness – from sharing groceries with a neighbor to applauding healthcare workers from balconies – served as reminders of the indomitable human spirit. In the face of adversity, kindness and resilience shone like beacons of hope.

As I reflect on a year overshadowed by the specter of COVID-19, I am reminded of the resilience, compassion, and strength that emerged in the face of adversity. The pandemic had tested us in ways we could never have imagined, pushing us to the brink of despair and uncertainty. Yet, amidst the darkness, there were moments of light – acts of kindness, resilience, and courage that restored my faith in humanity. As we continue to navigate the uncertain road ahead, I carry with me the lessons learned, the memories forged, and the indomitable spirit that has sustained us through the storm.

FACIAL RECOGNITION

"The Sloop Nose: A Sister's Punch and a Symbol of Resilience"

The story of his sloop nose is not just a tale of physical transformation but a narrative of resilience and sibling bonds. The unique curve of his nose, caused by a punch from his sister, holds deeper significance in shaping his identity and relationships. Let's delve into the story of his sloop nose and the impact of his sister's punch on his life.

The sloop nose, a distinctive feature resulting from a forceful punch by his sister, marks a significant moment in their shared history. What began as a playful exchange between siblings took an unexpected turn, leaving a lasting imprint on his appearance. The curve of his nose, once a source of physical alteration, now stands as a symbol of strength and resilience.

The impact of his sloop nose goes beyond its visual aspect, serving as a testament to the bond between him and his sister. The incident that led to its formation represents a moment of conflict turned into a story of endurance and acceptance. Through the visible mark of his sloop nose, he carries a reminder of the complexities and connections within sibling relationships. Despite its unconventional shape, his sloop nose holds a place of pride in his identity. It is a reminder of the shared experiences, challenges overcome, and the unbreakable bond that exists between siblings. The sloop nose not only reflects a physical alteration but also embodies the emotional strength and resilience that define their relationship.

In conclusion, the sloop nose, a result of his sister's punch, is more than a cosmetic change—it is a symbol of resilience and enduring family ties. The curve of his nose represents a journey of transformation and acceptance, turning a moment of conflict into a story of connection and strength. As he wears his sloop nose with pride, he carries with him the reminder of the profound impact of shared experiences and the unbreakable bond between siblings. The sloop nose stands as a testament to the power of love, forgiveness, and the lasting effects of a single punch that shaped more than just his physical appearance.

SELF OBITUARY

" A Life Remembered: A Self-Obituary"

In the tapestry of existence, I have played my part, weaving threads of love, laughter, and cherished memories. As I reflect on a life lived with purpose and passion, I invite you to join me in celebrating the moments that defined my journey and the legacy I leave behind.

My life's journey was a symphony of experiences, composed of highs and lows, joys and sorrows. From the dawn of my days to the twilight of my existence, I embraced every chapter with gratitude and grace. Through triumphs and trials, I emerged stronger, wiser, and more resilient, guided by the values that anchored my soul. At the heart of my narrative were the relationships that sculpted my identity and enriched my days. Family, friends, mentors—each held a unique place in the tapestry of my life, filling it with warmth, laughter, and profound connections. Their love and support were pillars of strength, sustaining me through life's storms and comforting me in moments of solitude.

As I reflect on the paths I traversed and the footprints I left behind, I find solace in the legacy I have built. My endeavors, however modest, contributed to the greater tapestry of humanity, leaving a mark of compassion, kindness, and empathy. I hope to be remembered not for the accolades I received, but for the kindness I extended and the hearts I touched along the way.

As I stand at the threshold of eternity, I bid farewell to the physical realm with a heart brimming with gratitude and a spirit at peace. This self-obituary is not a farewell, but a testament to a life well-lived, a story told, and a legacy cherished. May my memory linger in the hearts of those who knew me, a gentle whisper of the love, laughter, and light I shared. In the tapestry of life, my thread may fade, but the essence of who I was will endure, a beacon of hope and inspiration for those who follow in my footsteps. Thank you for being part of my story, and may my spirit find eternal rest in the embrace of the cosmos.

[br4ine8ter]

um ya so IM BORED AND JSJSKFNF uhhh oc x cc oneshot??!???!?

(i dont feel like drawing so heres the uhh character designs for the ocs!)

weee okay les gooooo :)

||

quick trigger warnings!

|mentions of neglect/abuse, gore/blood, panic attacks?|

out of all nights, it had to be tonight didn't it. It wasnt a common thing in the house but it definitely got around on his fathers rough days at work, and he just had to choose to take it out on him.

that weekend, as in the next day or so he was supposed to be going out with his so called lover and tonight ruined it all. he had a new mark across his cheek that would probably add onto the scars that already visibly scattered his body.

all he could feel was the cold bathroom tiles against his upper thighs that his short gym shorts didnt cover and the pulsing pain that radiated across the portion of his face, making him gasp out and choke up more sobs.

His legs pulled upright to his chest with an arm locked around them, his other hand holding a white washcloth against his skin that was starting to soak and fade into a crimson tone.

tears were rolling down his cheek and mixing in with the blood, making him cringe at the contact on his delicate skin.

the echo of two muffled voices were circulating around his already pounding head; the angry voice of his twin sister who had witnessed the whole situation and his drunk father who had caused the situation.

eyes squeezed shut in hopes for this to all be a dream though he knew that wasnt how ot worked, but a boy could dream right?

he stood to his shaky legs, holding onto the cracked and rusted edge of the bathtub for support. He made his way towards the bathroom counter so he could see how bad the damage really was, he never really got a chance earlier since he had to hide away where he was now to stay out of view from the man who caused this, to keep him from making it any worst.

He leaned slightly over the counter and brought the soaked cloak off his face, watching the blood start to dribble back down the pale skin he owned.

He could practically see how deep the wound laid, seeing each layer or maybe he was just delirious from how panicked he was.

He brought the washcloth back up to wipe the blood that hadn't stopped, jolting with a slight yelp when he heard the doorknob rattle followed by a small knock.

'Rich?" he heard the familiar voice call. the all too familiar voice, a voice he wanted to hear but also not at the same time.

he couldn't have his own boyfriend be dragged into his family mess, he knew he meant well but he didnt know what he was getting into. he had gotten dragged into a situation similar, if anything the exact same, and it ended with him getting hurt too.

"Richie, its just me okay?" the voice called again, making the blondes eyes water and teeth hook over his lower lip. "could you let me in..?"

He hesitated but eventually obliged, he couldn't resist that soft voice.

he unlocked the door and slid it open after putting the cloth down, at this point he didnt care about the blood that was running back down his face in separate beads down his face that left small trails.

he threw himself into the warm embrace that wrapped back around him with worry, the southerners warm hands running on the blondes back.

"how'd you get here? how'd.." Rich was starting to question. "he's still here, he'll kill you reggie!" he explained with worry.

Reggie shook his head and stepped into the bathroom, the hand on the small of the others back leading him in while he shut the door.

"No, its okay. your sister called for me to come watch you, he's out like a light." he reassured while pulling out a medical kit he had brought along, gesturing the blonde to sit on the ground which he did.

"im.. sorry. i didn't want all this to happen, im fucked up, i look disgusting, the scars just keep adding on, reggie." he ranted, feeling his emotions start to bubble up again which reggie quickly shushed in a comforting tone.

"rich, you're gorgeous. now shush and lets get you cleaned up, we'll deal with that stuff later okay?" Reggie explained while he opened up the med kit, Rich nodding.

"yeah.. okay."

[lovemesomesurveys]

Were you awake before 9am today? Always am. <<< Yeah, I'm still up when the sun starts coming up. :/ I shouldn't fight it anymore, it does me no good and I just feel worse. What a shock, right? I need to just sleep, damnit. It's not like I'm even doing something, I'm just sitting up and nodding off and on. Like, why do I do this?

Do you have an alarm clock, or just use your phone to set an alarm? I use an alarm app on my phone.

Do you own any shirts with wording on them? Majority of them do.

^ If so, what does your favourite one look like? All of 'em, which is why I got them and kept them.

What beverage do you prefer to drink in the mornings? I used to always have coffee, like it was just a given. For whatever reason that changed a few months ago. Now, I start my mornings with chicken or beef bone or regular broth and a protein shake. I've been making changes to my diet to try and build up protein, amongst other things, and those have been some of the new additions. A couple hours later I have this collagen drink with breakfast.

Tell me what some of your nearest & dearest like to eat for breakfast. My mom usually has scrambled eggs and bacon, sometimes with toast. My dad likes his instant maple and brown sugar oatmeal with toast during the week and either eggs and sausage, waffles, or pancakes on the weekends, and my brother might have instant breakfast or a microwave burrito.

What colour was the last car you travelled in? Red.

Have you added any books to your shelves lately? Not my literal bookshelf, but to my Kindle app library.

Have you bought any new cosmetics or toiletries lately? Which? No.

When was the last time you bought a new pair of shoes? My last new pair of shoes I received as a Christmas gift a couple years ago.

^ What did they look like? They're the black Adidas with the white stripes.

Do you own any sparkly accessories? Yeah.

Do your pets have a specific type of food that they prefer? My doggo loves the addition of coconut or fish oil to her food.

When was the last time you ate one of your favourite foods for dinner? Tonight, actually. I love the French Onion soup from Panera.

What’s your favourite variety of apple? I don’t have one. I couldn't even tell you the last time I had an apple to be honest.

Does anything you own have an image of a cat on it? Yeah.

Are you looking forward to anything within the next few days? No.

How have you mostly been feeling today? Not well.

Does anyone you know own a pocketwatch? I bet my Papa does.

Do you know what you’re going to have for breakfast tomorrow? I was thinking of getting something delivered, but *shrug*

How did you meet the last person you sent a message to on social media? She's my aunt.

When you woke up today, did you have unread messages on any social platform? Nope.

Do you watch any costume dramas? How about medical dramas? I'm drawing a total blank--what's a costume drama?

Which of your physical features do you receive the most compliments about? Ha, not receiving compliments much these days when you look like trash like I do. All I get now is comments about my weight, which I know comes out of concern because I'm severely underweight and it's causing other issues, so I get it, but it's hard hearing about it all the time and feeling so self conscious and insecure. I can't even look at myself. I'm trying to gain weight, but nothing seems to be happening and I'm reallyyyy trying not to have to go to the hospital...

Look around the room and name 5 random items. A 4ft giraffe in the corner, a bag of chips, a pink wig, a bag of shredded cheese, and Peeps chapstick.

[cavariously]

[Trying my hand at a fan fiction.

I love to write but I have never done anything like this before, so all feedback would be extremely appreciated (Grammer, Plot, Characters etc.).

I love Tokyo Ghoul so I really hope I don't fuck this up 😅. A big thank you to anyone who reads this ❤️]

Caution: Agressive Swearing, Offensive Language, Graphic Violence.

Notes: Takes place post end of TG:re, Reapers = Marshall version of Doves.

1. Crow - 24

City lights and the rushing motions of the landscape turn the 24th ward into a blinding and blaring circus. Humans. They crawl through this city with the assurance that they will be here tomorrow. They will be here a year from now. They will be here forever. They are the only lifeform with this assurance. All other creatures in this world live with the knowledge that their making it to the next moment is a fifty fifty

It is certainly a miracle that they last, noticing absolutely nothing at all. They don't see the effects that the fumes of their veichles have on the planet that they grip so tightly to. They can't begin to recognise that they are being continually watched and targeted by devices that could wipe them from the face of said Earth in less than zero. They don't even notice the apex predictor observing them from less than a mile above.

Humans simply move from one spot to another, only stopping to cause irrevocable disaster and reduce their surroundings to less than ash, and then move on to the next target. Someone said that humans are Parasites, and although it may be naive to believe this was wholly correct, it would be complete ignorance to dismiss it entirely. Ghouls do not indulge in such ignorance. Parasite is an apt description for a human, from the perspective of a ghoul, that and food.

The figure stands tall, wind rushing rapidly through their tied up hair. They can smell the putrescence of man-kind as they go about their sweaty and arrogant business. They would laugh if it wasn't so tragic. What do humans amount to? They are greedy and bloody bags of meat that fight and hate more than any other being, yet they are allowed to multiply and just be. It could be argued that ghouls are the same as humans in this aspect, but most abide by the one meal a month agreement, even though this arrangement can be hell for some. Unlike humans, who see violence as their God given right, when ghouls fight, it is rarely for anything other than survival. Perhaps this view doesn't take all ghouls into account, but all humans gorge themselves on everything, and fight for any fucking reason they want.

Twenty years ago, a disaster was meant to end this disparity. For the first time ever, ghouls and humans fought together to save the world they shared from the monster that had been designated 'DRAGON'. The defeating of this enemy was meant to end in equality, where ghouls and humans shared the world equally. Scientific leaps had been made. Synthetic meats that ghouls could eat, so they wouldn't have to harm humans. The corpse of Dragon even lead to dramatic advancements in the medical field. Humans were now benefiting from ghoul DNA, as it allowed them to combat most illnesses and increase their lifespan somewhat. After all that ghouls had done for them, weren't humans grateful? No. Ten years, then ghouls were back to being vile creatures to be hunted, and were forced back to living in the sewers. The deaths of so many perfectly good and innocent ghouls, just so that humanity could screw them all over again. What a funny tragedy.

Another figure appeared from the shadows, stepping in line with their comrade. Neither looking at the other, they both silently watched the ferris-wheel turn round and round. A world that they saw as rightfully theirs. They were hungry for it and they would have it. No matter the cost. In fact, the more human casualties... the better.

"Are you ready to go?" the newcomer asked, never taking their attention away from everything below.

"Yeah. Any longer and I might have to eat you."

"Like you could" came the cold, arrogant response.

"Just because you got five inches on me now, doesn't mean I can't still beat your ass Da..."

"Don't fucking call me that. While we're out here you call me Kuma and I call you... Blindfold, or Eyeless. Something like that." Even though his response had been quick and sharp, neither his tone nor his concentration had wavered.

"Eyeless" they conceded.

"Fine, Eyeless it is. Just don't go shouting our real names out in public. You're enough of a liability as it is without giving our fucking identities away."

Eyeless finally turned to look at their brother. They couldn't help feeling a pang of nostalgia. He had been so small once, constantly hanging onto their shoulders and making paper birds that he place all over their home. Those memories hurt, especially when they remembered what came after. He used to smile so much and now he's a moody little shit. They'd never been like that at fourteen, they thought smugly.

"Fine. Let's go KUMA before I rip your snarky head off." With that final retort, Eyeless turned and stepped off of the roof.

Kuma watched them drop six stories, landing with grace and poise. Why were they always so aggravating? Maybe he was jealous of their natural ability, or perhaps they were just a pain in the ass to be related to. With a sigh and a wandering look to the night sky, he followed suit.

* * *

The Marshalls finished up disposing of the ghoul. Bikakus are a pain in the ass Haruto thought, but it's better than a Ukaku. Haruto loved the fact that he was an intimidating figure. The ghoul had basically shat itself as soon as it had seen his large muscular frame, and cruel bearded face. The black trench coat they wore, that often announced the end for ghouls, probably didn't hurt either. He nudged the face of the corpse with his foot. He reckoned it wouldn't even be worth removing his Kakahou to get a new quinque. Taking into account the short amount of time it had taken him and Kenji to bypass his defences and cut him through the middle, he was a B rated ghoul maximum.

"Right, time we get back" Haruto sighed.

"Mhm" Kenji agreed. He never said much.

"Did you bring the body bag? You never know, you might be able to upgrade that piece of shit you call a quinque." Haruto laughed loudly. He loved taking the piss out of Kenji, especially when he knew his only retort woukd be 'mhm'.

As expected, Kenji responded with a grumbling "Mhm", and moved towards the body.

Haruto, turned to walk away, lighting a cigarette and beginning to inhale deeply. That Kenji was going to marry his sister. What's he gonna say when the priest asks him if he takes her to be his lawfully wedded wife? Mhm. Haruto chuckled to himself. All in all Kenji was a good guy, and one hell of a Marshall. He could use that crappy Ukaku quinque pretty damn well, even if it did come from a C rated ghoul. Kenji also took Haruto's kids to the beach when he and Mrs Haruto wanted a quiet weekend. He might be an ugly fucker with next to no hair, and a face that made you want to split him down the middle, but he was clean and sometimes smelt nice. Yeah, Kenji could marry his sister if he wanted. She could do a hell of a lot worse.

A loud splatter sounded out behind Haruto. He spun on his heels, instincts flaring immediately into action. Where the fuck was Kenji? Where his partner had been attempting to fit the ghoul into the black bag, there was now the cut in half corpse of his future brother in law, fallen to the sides with a blindfolded figure standing in the middle. His entire being twitched in anticipation of this thing making a move to kill him, but all it did was leasurly bend down and scoop something up from the gore beneath. As the creature straightened up, he saw that it was simply sucking on one of Kenji's bloody fingers. To others, this might signify a psychotic animal, but to a seasoned Marshall, this was a confident and calculating killer plain and simple. A powerful one at that. Their clothes were indistinctive; clad in thin black leather and fabric, however, their mask was a completely different story. Almost the entirety of its face was covered. Its mouth had a tight black fabric wrapped over it, with a skeletal smile that would open, revealing the snaking pink tongue underneath. The huge back leather collar surrounding it could be zipped up to hide all but the eyes from the world. Not that the eyes could be seen either. A bone white blindfold shut them off from view. Foreign symbols were drawn in deep black on either side, with the a closed eye taking centre stage. Although it was just a drawing, that closed eye was unearving, as if the lack of sight heightened its ability to see, instead of impeding it.

Now this was a ghoul. Just by its sheer presence Haruto could tell this one was rated A, or more likely >S. Haruto couldn't deny to himself that he was intimidated, but he was a senior Marshall, and always backed himself in a one on one. He looked down at his fallen partner and gulped. First things first, get into this guys head. Haruto scanned the ghoul, looking for weaknesses that he could exploit verbally. If he was lucky, the reaction could lead to him obtaining an edge. He noticed that this ghoul was slight in stature, maybe five foot five all told.

"You wanna end up like this other piece of shit, you fucking dwarf."

This garnered absolutely nothing.

Haruto couldn't take it much longer. This creature continued to lapp at the guts of his dead partner, that were splattered over its fingers. It obviously didn't give a shit what it looked like to others. It reminded him of a cat, publically cleaning its fur and genitals with no concern for the world. It was fucking reveling in its feast, and it made Haruto's blood boil.

"You killed an innocent man. He was gonna have a family and you ripped him apart. You monsters have no fucking souls and you all belong in hell. That's where I'm gonna send you. I'm a fucking senior Marshall you stupid shit. You have no clue how badly you've fucked up."

Again, the ghoul made no sign of changing emotion, continuing to dip its fingers in Kenji and take its time eating. Haruto knew he needed something else to get into its head so he scanned again. 'Shit' he thought, as the ghost of a smile passed over his lips. The majority of its body was covered in black that mostly obscured its shape, however, his keen eyes saw that although its grey hair was tied up, it was probably quite long when undone. At its chest area, although it was probably bound, there was the hint of a slightly tented structure. The hardest one to spot was the hips. Despite them being covered by black leather shorts, those hips were a tad too wide to be a man's.

"Alright you sick fuck. I'M A COMMIN FOR YA!"

With one last drive to uncover more courage, Haruto raised his Kokaku quinque and lept towards the ghoul.

"I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP FOR KENJI... YOU BITCH!"

As Haruto closed the distance with extreme speed, to less than two meters, the shadow of another figure dropped from the sky, landing directly next to the first. Haruto skidded to a halt, taken aback by the new masked creature. This one was certainly taller, and its face was covered by a red, horned mask. It was only as his attention slipped completely that he realised his final mistake. For the first time, the blindfolded ghoul smiled widely, the skeletal mouth parting to reveal massive bloody teeth.

The next thing Haruto knew was that he was laying down on the ground, face to the sky. His neck was warm and dripping wet. He raised his hands to his throat as the oxygen escaped his body, feeling the deep gash that was releasing his blood. The ghouls started conversing.

"Which one you want?" the first asked the newcomer.

"I don't care. You killed 'em both so you choose" the other responded dispondantly.

"Well, you're the growing boy so you take the ghoul and the first Reaper."

"Damn, well fuck me if you ain't the best big sister" uttered the male ghoul sarcastically, as he casually walked over to Kenji and the dead ghoul. "Why you taking you're mask off you sicko? The guys not even dead yet."

"I like it when they watch me" the female ghoul giggled.

Haruto saw the shadow of something passing over his head. "Ken...Ke..ji" Haruto gasped.

Suddenly, from below him came a the same giggle. "Awww dude, I think these guys were close."

"Eyeless, eat the fucker and let's go" came the voice of the male.

"Hey buddy boy, look at me will you" said the female from his feet.

Haruto craned his neck, scared of what he might see, but thinking 'fuck it' to himself. What's did he have to be afraid of, he's already dead. When he finally focused on the face he was confused. She was chewing on a leg. His leg. When the fuck did she get her dirty hands on that? When she'd finished on his leg, licking the tips of her fingers with delight, she bent down and hovered over him. Eyeless? That's what the other one had called her, but that wasn't true at all. Now that her blindfold was off he could see the entirety of her murderous giddy face.

"You're very funny" she said. "Innocent man. Gonna have a family. Its really fucking funny."

The last thing Haruto would ever see would be a testimony to her names innacuracy. Staring at him excitedly was one grey eye, so remarkably human looking it was weird. The other eye was a pool of darkness... with a violent, blood red pupil that seemed to be trying to force its way out of its black prison. She snapped up the rest of him.

"Sicko..."

End

[addytheheartbreaker]

"Meet Carmelo the Ice Cream"

Name: Carmelo Jerato

Age: 22

Height: 6'1 ft

Weight: 59 kg

Mask singer belong to: Tyler "Ninja" Blevins

Friends with: Doll, Dog, Rabbit, Egg, Monster, Penguin, Hippo, Skeleton, Ladybug, Rottweiler and Unicorn.

Appearance: Ice cream person, blue mint ice cream hair with chocolate sauce and sprinkles with a single strawberry ice cream top fisish with a cherry on top (if he could turned into a human, his hair would be obviously light blue). Light skin, kitsune no me (also known as "Fox eyes" or "Shifty eyes" in English or people who always closed his/her eyes), sky blue eyes (made out of ice cream, if human his eyes are sky blue eyes), the OwO smile (because he is adorable), blushes and slender and tall body type.

Clothing style: Ice cream theme with ice cream related decorations and accessories (flavor color and various of toppings), jacket or hoodies, sweater or printed shirts, his bandana and formal suits (main clothing). Casual clothes, ninja uniform (only for battle competitions or in gaming dimension).

Fun facts about Carmelo:

•Carmelo is a Americans-Japanese boy living in America his whole life.

•he can speak and understand English and Japanese, his mother taught him japanese which he learned very quickly in young age.

•he has a collection of anime (old times and modern times), he can also watch anime on his spare time.

•Ice Cream can let Egg borrowed his anime since the two loves watching anime. There are times when they watch anime together at the Masked Singer 2 mansion.

•Carmelo is a huge sweet tooth, he often must eat sweets after meals or when he is still live on twitch gaming.

•A successful professional gamer/streamer, has claimed many titles like Ninja, a billionaire and a well known generous philanthropist.

•as a famous streamer star and a philanthropist, he is generous to do a charity for mental health issues support, suicidal prevention, cancer prevention and child depression treatment support.

•Carmelo is a very friendly, energetic, enthusiastic, cheerfula fun, child like, and wonderful guy to meet with.

•he is friendly to children and has time to hang out at the child depression treatment support center to cheer and play with depressed children.

•He is an associated of the group called the "Night Streamers Joy".

•Ice Cream has been controlled and trolled by his boss who challenging each other while doing charity.

•Ice Cream can go through different dimensions. His main dimension where his group are in is the "Gaming dimension", a huge unknown island like battle field for him and the group with many people to play. (Fortnite reference).

•The only way he can go to that dimension is actually out of the body experience like. His real body still stays while controlling and expressing emotions while playing as his mind and soul entered the visual dimension as a player. (Inspired by the movie Sucker Punch, loved that movie its awesome)

•Carmelo secretly owns many weapons that looks like the game or fortnite weapons that came to real life. He knows how to use it and it is highly unknown how he managed to use it but some believed that he had been practicing on playing games his whole life.

•His family, a mother and father, an older brother and younger sister, he is a middle brother but treated like a child to him.

•owns so MANY games at his bedroom and gaming room. He remembers what the games instructions and stories about and he basically remembered every game titles.

•Ice Cream couldn't go outside without drinking nitrogen liquid.

•Nitrogen liquid is a family traditional everyday medicine because his family are all ice cream or frozen dessert people. He needed to drink nitrogen before going outside is because of the sun heat exposing if he stays outside for too long.

•the only part that would melt first is his eyes and hair. The eyes melts faster then his hair and it gave him a terrifying melting eye look that scares everyone.

•but that's alright, he can refilled his eyes by going to the "Comfort room" (aka the Freeze room), stay there for 10 minutes before putting 2 scoops of ice cream to his eyes.

•if he had a human form, Carmelo has asthma from overheat and couldn't stand heat very seriously.

•He plays video games and do streaming and live charity 24/7. He is also takes breaks but didn't take vacations because of his melting pressure.

•his hobbies are playing soccer, playing more video games (on or off streaming), hanging with friends or the children, going to the mall to play arcade games then get a lot of prizes and going through cafes, candy and bakery stores to eat sweets.

•he doesn't have any stomach problems or any illness after eating a huge amount of sweets. Its because as an ice cream man who is born with a family of frozen desserts, sweets is a resource power and energy.

•his hair, hair accessories?, eyes and outfit changes flavor and toppings according to his mood and emotions. However, the black licorice/charcoal black ice cream flavor is the most expensive looking ice cream you ever seen.

•the black ice cream is not shown on public. There are rumors on public that causes everyone on craving to wanting to tastes it but couldn't reach and trigger his black ice cream. It remains mysterious to unlock that flavor.

•the only person who Carmelo already showed and letting them taste the black ice cream is his closest friends who are willing to keep a secret, Bezai (Egg), TJ (Monster) and his family.

•Egg and Monster knew the taste of the expensive looking black flavor, if asked they both wouldn't revealed it.

•the only way to trigger the Black Licorice/Charcoal Black Ice Cream are two things; someone with a very HUGE amount of money donating on his lives streams or someone who is a billionaire and in ready battle or in fighting mode.

•the Black Ice Cream is called "Killer Ice Cream" or "Dark Time Ninja flavor". Because people are Dying to get that type of flavor and this killer ice cream is only active when he faces a fighting challenged or wanting to murder someone (but too soft to commit such crime). It only showed at the Gaming dimension only.

•He is friends with Marshmello. Ninja introducing to him and he has been on his concert for fun.

•He has his bandana, Ninja made it for him so they could match together. He only wear his bandana when he feels like fighting, when he feels serious on playing fair and on Killer Ice Cream mode.

•A huge fan of Naruto, him and his group did the running ninja which he had a lots of views of the random video on youtube.

•his powers is nitrogen fog or frost powers (it is different to Ice power to Frost powers).

•his fighting style is karate, taekwondo and military skills. He professional learned taekwondo daily at high school when he was just a teen, he won 3 gold medals and 5 silver medals from first to the end of high school years.

•as for his military skills, he got it from the game and learned all further constructions which is explained on why he knew how to use a gun and other weapons he possessed.

•Carmelo suffers on depression. In addition onto how he got depression is when he was just a teen where he first got his own twitch.

•age 17-18, he is a victim of toxic fans and was a victim of a certain person on twitch who ruined him into giving his fans a negativity on live streams. Ninja notices the changes and decided to stop the manipulator by exposing him with a help with his friends. Carmelo is grateful that his mentor/friend helped him for everything, but he still suffers to depression still.

•he took medication and support on his long break from twitch before he had finally continue to play.

•his has the same views and followers as Ninja's. Ice Cream is still in the same number of views today.

•He left twitch after Ninja decided to leave twitch. Which means he had left his group, the reason behind it is not just about Ninja. Carmelo: the real reason I left is because its time for me to moved on to the next level and get out from my comfort zone. It was fun after everything I've been through and I had a lots of good memories and bad memories here on twitch. I'll leave the guys who are now my former group to keep it up.

•he can draw anime and cartoon, he only draw it on spare time.

•his room at the Masked singer 2 mansion. His room is literally the freezer room obviously located at the kitchen, the room walls are all covered with crystal ices but in light blue, it was dark but his room are filled with neon lights, his complete desktop, a bathtub filled with ices, his bed, a mountain of ice cream containers and several frozen desserts and a room with his clothes there (Bezai: It bothers me that you put your clothes at this freezer room as your room Carmelo. Carmelo: why bother? I'm an ice cream man, I need to be at least chill to cool myself enough.) (see what I did there 😉 )

•He always played loud music every weekends because he wanted to practice dancing. The song choice are Marshmello's songs, electric soundtracks, 8-bit songs, and Japanese songs (mostly vocaloid).

•Ice Cream once played Family feud because he is a fan of that show since teenage years. Him and his group played together then won the money.

•his partner Bezai, Carmelo always been beside him and always go with him around for no reason. Because they are partners together, Ice cream and Egg are food related which is why he always have to follow him.

•he is Addy's playmate when he is out streaming. When he isn't playing on his desktop, they go play on the couch play video games on TV, PC and go to the mall to play arcade games to get prices.

•Ice Crean respectedly and acted politely to woman and young ladies. Since he knew about Ninja banned to play with a female player, he followed his advice onto not playing with a female player but he would act courteous when out of streaming or gaming.

•He met Egg when he went to have an interview together before the Masked Singer season 2.

•He can't say any swear words since he never swear in his life. He did hear people swearing but for him, he remains clean to his mouth especially in front of children.

•since his eyes remain close all the time and everyday, he has a emoji that looks exactly his look. His emojis are actually OwO but closing eyes: —w— , ^w^, UwU, ~w~, >w<, XwX, =w=

[memyselfandmommy]

Trip to the ER

We had our first official scare with Emerson this weekend, that ended in a two night stay in the hospital. Sunday morning he started screaming a little before 9am, and wouldn't stop... It was his pain cry. After a few hours of this and not eating Bo took him to the walk in clinic to be seen. After an hour and a half of waiting and being told they don't treat patients under 3 months they told him to take him to the ER. So to Baylor they went, it never dawning on us that we should take him to a children's hospital. That visit ended up with Baykor calling Cooks Children's Medical Hosoital and having them send an ambulance to pick him up. I woke Emilia from her nap, and met Bo at Baylor so I could ride with Emerson in the ambulance. We met up, swapped kids essentially and I started to walk out with Emerson who was strapped onto a stretcher. Emilia got scared and ran after us with her arms stretched out screaming, "Mama, wait!!" "Emerson, wait!!" and then she started sobbing. It nearly broke me.. I went back to her and hugged her tight telling her it was going to be ok, but that didn't matter. She screamed as we loaded up and left. I cried once in the ambulance. That was so incredibly horrible and gut wrenching.

We got to the ER for Cooks where they finally were able to get an IV in (Baylor tried 5 times and failed) and give him fluids and draw blood. They did a catheter and took urine samples. They also did a spinal tap, as the doctor on call was pretty concerned that it could be meningitis. My stomach dropped when he said that... I asked him if it is, what's the treatment and is it fatal? He wouldn't answer "no" to the 2nd part, and I started to panic. He just kept assuring me that we're in a really good facility if it came to pass and they were going to take good care of him. They added a strong broad spectrum antibiotic along with the fluids, as he was very dehydrated at that point. (Side note: when babies that young are dehydrated their soft spot on their head will "sink in" some.) I begged Bo to find a sitter and to come up with me, but he didn't/couldn't... I guess. That frustrated the hell out of me; I don't think he got it just how panicked I was.

Thankfully he tested negative for meningitis. Fast forward to tonight, our 2nd night, and he's doing world's better but we're still no closer to having an answer as to what caused this. That most likely means it was viral, however all the medical people we've talked to say it has to be bacterial with the inflammatory markers he's had. Who the hell knows?! I'm just so relieved that he's back to himself. I've never felt so helpless and out of control in my life.

These last couple of days have been some of the worst I've ever had. I've been stress eating like crazy too. I'll have to live off vegetables only the next few days... Despite having been couped up in the house the last few months, I can't say strongly enough how much I'm looking forward to being home with this behind us.

Our friends and family have been checking in on us. It's times like these you see who's truly there for you. I texted my mom earlier today and still have yet to hear a damn thing from her. I haven't heard from her since giving birth to him. She fucking unbelievable. I'm trying to let it go but it hurts so much. The entire transition from one kid to two has been very hard on us and especially me with post partum depression. You'd think she would want to check in on her daughter and new grandson. Just once, even. And to not even respond to this. Wtf. I should have cut her out a long time ago because all she does is hurt me.

For now I will continue to focus on how fortunate we are... Emerson is back to his smiling, cooing and dancing self and will be coming back home tomorrow.