#i could have just use the example of makeup instead of hair ek-

[gribouillealltypes]

i've just come to a thought, about gender, and somehow, wigs (???)

🌸 (skip to part "🍄" for the real thought)

for context about myself, i struggle to identify gender as a big thing, like for me it has the same weight as eye color or haircut when i describe a person (so to me sexism and gender discrimination as well as the whole society dividing our population between "males" and "females" is nonsense)

instead, when i see someone, i encompass their main characteristics and link that to a face and when i can, a name. [Assumed] gender is often one of the characteristics that i remember the best, along with haircut and -color and height (i have no idea why) + a unique physical or vocal thing that stands out. But gender is at no point the main thing, I rather see the whole person (or what i know and remember about them), often including gender.

🌼 (it was a long contextualization sorry)

so when it came to questioning my own gender, i struggled a lot and had a few theories, things i explored to know what i was the most comfortable with (i still don't have a clear answer btw)

one of the "theories" was gender fluidity, back when i was in highschool. The way i was thinking of it was : sometimes i feel more "masculine" and prefer to be perceived as someone with "masculine" characteristics, sometimes more "feminine" // ; but sometimes i felt like i was disgusted of being perceived as a woman, or as a man, (tbh most of the time i just hate to be perceived but that's not the point), so i tended towards a more neutral look, but, it was not only about gender. Those "masculine", "feminine" and "neutral" characteristics that i was looking for, actually had nothing to do with gender, because as i recall, i don't see gender. I was just biased by society stereotypes that we've been taught since birth. What was actually happening, is that those types of clothes + this mood i woke up with + these events in my day + these people or group of people i will meet was making me feel like "this is how i want to be perceived and/or this is how i would like to feel like today". It could be as "someone confident", "someone classy", "comfy in winter type", "dark sleep-deprived grrl", "rain and lost wave mood", "fit-in and not standing out type" etc.

so gender fluid I was not (maybe you consider I am but I don't think of myself like that)

🍄

so here's the actual thought about the wig and gender

when i was swinging through genders and "types of person i felt like at this exact moment" it felt like you have a wig (it works with many things other than wigs oc) over your natural hair, and it works like makeup, sometimes you put it on for you, sometimes for others, sometimes for both

and one day you feel like wearing long hair, but the other day shorter hair, or colored hair, depending on your own parameters of how you feel like and external parameters like what type of people you are going to meet. But also sometimes you don't want to put a wig on, and you just let your "natural" hair be as it is, and you don't care what the others think your hair looks like, they can think they are long or short, it's actually up to them depending of their criterias and it won't define you

it's accessory

and i feel like that about gender, if that makes sense

some like their hair or non-hair how it is, some like to style it a bit, some will change every week or a few times a decade, others will radically change one time and be happy with their last cut but in no way this alters who they are fundamentally

and gender doesn't define you, except if you want it to be for some reason, like if it's a way to resist or convey a message, but otherwise let anyone be who they want or feel like to be, it doesn't have to weigh so much in society (i'll stop here because i think people who got here already know the point i'm making)