#i could genuinely feel all the love he has to his members and carats

[wheeboo]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

SEUNGKWAN Hit The Road Ep. 07, The Road We Walk Together

[cherrybr4t]

seungkwan getting comforted by seventeen 🤍

warnings: slight angst? profanities, other than that, a rather serious but heartwarming piece (i hope!!) 🥹💗

A/N: requested by @celestialsoyeon 🖤 thank you so much for making such a heartwarming and lovely request 🥰 hope you enjoy lovely! 💨🌟💗

WC: 848

if you had asked him 10 years ago where he would want to see himself in the future, seungkwan would’ve described exactly the sight in front of him.

sea of lights from the lovely carats, radiating nothing but love, warmth and support. he’s glad his hard work had manifested into a fruitful outcome of his dreams, it was all he ever wanted.

but when the lights go down, and stage lowers, he feels the bubble of negative thoughts form in his brain once again. the feeling of inadequacy seems to be the forefront of it all.

with all the glitz and glamour that comes with this job, so does the pressure, the stress of upkeeping it all. the need to always outperform yourself, to always push yourself to a limit you never would’ve imagined. that was how their group became what it is today; the amount of blood, sweat and tears that made them the household name they were today; but no one is perfect, that is fact and fact itself.

seungkwan struggles to come to terms with it, all he thinks about is how he has to always exceed expectations of the company, his members, and the fans. and today, it seems to be clouding his entire mind, evident in his heavy steps walking back to the dressing room for a debrief.

every step took more effort, and he felt so small, so helpless. he doesn’t think he deserves to be here tonight, but all he knows is that he doesn’t want to let anyone down. he’s struggling to find a space in that head of his to provide any form of self assurance or self soothing. he can’t do it tonight.

“seungkwan,” a warm hand rests above his shoulder, jeonghan smiles down at him. “you did well today, as always. i’m proud of how far you’ve came, really.” as housemates living like a married couple, jeonghan seems to know the in and outs of seungkwan's thoughts, his behaviour, and always knows what to say to bring light to his dark state of mental thoughts at times like this.

his warm words always comes whenever seungkwan needs it, and right now, seungkwan feels like he could burst into tears looking into his dear member’s eyes. squeezing down his shoulder, jeonghan engulfed him in a side hug; saying more than what he could possibly want to mutter out.

as the debrief ends, all members engage in a discussion; what to improve on for day 2 of the concert tomorrow, and at the same time affirm one another on how proud they are of each other, and how well they’ve done today.

the members were dispersed — some needed food to refuel, some decided to clean up and pack up. taking the makeup wipes and starting to unwind for the day, seungkwan hears a chair being dragged over beside him.

“hyung,” seungkwan looks up, slightly surprised to see vernon beside him.

“i loved your bit during the encore today, you really are the light of seventeen, to me. you make the stage a better place to be, and i am — always inspired by you and how you take the stage,” vernon goes on, while seungkwan’s hand freeze, not removing his make up.

he puffs, placing his hands on his lap, “is it obvious that i’m not really feeling like myself right now?”

“we all have our days seungkwan, but that’s what the other 12 of us are here for. we support each other though our highs, and especially though our lows. i just wanted to remind you how much you mean to seventeen, and seeing you put so much pressure on yourself breaks my heart — breaks all of our hearts,” though vernon said it with a straight face, seungkwan could feel vernon’s genuine heart and intention through his words.

one drop of tear turned into two, and soon there was a tissue held along his waterline. vernon wasn’t a man of many words, so to hear him spill his heart to him made him feel so comforted, and it was all that he needed right now; the reaffirmation.

soon, more members came by, wiping tears off his face lovingly. sharing their own words of encouragement, back hugging seungkwan, wanting to convey their love for him, and how they were always going to be there for him.

“FUCK IT!!! a soju night in my room tonight. feels like the right mood to do so tonight,” a loud boom of voice bounced off the walls of a rather small make-up room, and seungkwan turned to see dokyeom shouting, in a gorilla stance near the door.

he couldn’t help the giggle, which erupted into laughter as he saw dokyeom with his silly antics, hoshi playing along, “it’s always the right mood for you,”

looking at the sight in front him — all members playing around, wrapping up for the day, seungkwan realised; it was all going to be okay. the feeling came abruptly, and he realised that at the end of the day, with his lovely members around him, he has nothing to worry about. he felt seen, he felt heard, and most importantly, he felt enough, not by anyone’s standards, but to his own.

AHH; i’m not the best at writing such themes, but i hope it was okay <3 always trying to improve and put out btr work :’)

anws, hope u like it lovelies,, to anyone who feels like they can relate to this, here’s a reminder that you’re doing well, wtv pace ure at, wtv stage of life ure at — i hope that ur happiness is at the core of it all 🩷 peace out!! ✍️

[cacoetheswriting]

champagne problems, ch.1

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else. 

Chapter One: Bloodsport: You announce your engagement to the team, shattering Spencer's heart. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 2.3k Warnings: mild cursing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, very angsty, this series is going to be a real slow burn babyyy

series masterlist

-

Today was like any other day.

You woke up at your usual time to the sound of your alarm. You had coffee, and a quick bite to eat while aimlessly scrolling through the social media apps on your phone. You showered, brushed your teeth, got dressed, did your makeup. And when it was time to leave, you walked out the front door locking it behind you, hopped in your car, and drove to work. 

Today was like any other day. Except that it wasn’t. 

Today wasn't like any other day because while you carried out all of your menial morning tasks, you felt a little heavier. Rather your hand did. 

It was your birthday a couple of days ago. And while you had planned to spend with your boyfriend, Ethan, the universe had other plans and you were stuck out of town on a case. You weren’t mad about it, it was your job after all, and Ethan understood. His work hours were also unreliable.  

Plus you got to celebrate with the other people that mattered the most to you in world; your team. It may have not been they day you had envisioned, because who wants to spend their birthday at a gloomy prescient looking over gruesome crime scene photos, but your team made it special. Takeout, gallons of coffee, and shortly before midnight they surprised you with cake - which Luke slipped up was all Spencer’s idea. 

Little did you know the surprises would continue upon your return home. Ethan, down on one knee in the middle of your living room, surrounded by candles and about a dozen bouquets of roses.  

You took a deep breath before getting out of your car, and heading inside the building. Knowing your sudden engagement would come as a shock to the people you worked with, your second family, you were quite anxious about telling them. You were worried about how they would react. They didn't really know Ethan. They only met him a total of three times throughout the duration of your relationship meaning all the information they possessed was what you had told them - which in reality wasn’t all that much.  

Sitting down at your desk, you kept your hand on your lap. As usual you were the first to arrive meaning you had some time to figure out exactly how you were going to go about this. Your gut feeling was to tell Spencer first. You owed him at least that much giving everything the two of you had been through. 

But once again the universe had other plans. 

“Good morning sunshine!”, Garcia chimed as she crossed the bullpen. “It is so lovely to see your beautiful beautiful face. How was Scottsdale?” She asked stopping beside your desk. “You know, apart from all the murder.” 

“Uhm, it was-” 

“Wait! Before you answer me.” She interrupted while reaching into her handbag. “I wanted to give you this.” Seconds later she retrieved a gift, wrapped perfectly in glittery pink paper with a bright bow tied around it. “Happy Birthday!” 

“Penelope, you didn't have to.” 

“Shush now, of course I did.” She smiled. “Come on. Take it, take it.” 

Which is exactly what you did; completely forgetting about the two carat diamond that now graced your ring finger. 

The shriek that came out of Garcia’s mouth was enough to make you remember. But before you could snatch your hand back, hide it on your lap once again, she grabbed it and the ever so present smile on her face widened even more. 

“Oh my god! Oh my god!”, Garcia was jumping now, her hand still gripping yours as she examined the ring. “When did this happen? How did this happen? Oh I have so many questions!” Another excited shriek escaped her lips. “I’m going to hug you now, and then you’re going to tell me everything!” 

Garcia let your hand fall before bending down slightly to wrap her arms tightly around you. “Congratulations honey, this is so exciting!” She swayed the two of you side to side.

“What’s exciting?” Luke’s voice caused the two of you to break apart. 

“Well newbie, you should invest in a tux.” Penelope beamed. 

“I have a tux.” Luke furrowed his brows, slightly confused. “Wait, what?” He glanced between you and Garcia, waiting for an explanation. 

Taking in a quick breath, you got to your feet and lifted your hand to show him the ring. “Ethan proposed last night.”

Luke’s jaw fell open. “Holy smokes! Congratulations Y/N!” Dropping his bag to the floor, he pulled you into a quick embrace. “That’s huge news. I’m so happy for you.” 

Penelope cleared her throat. “I think you mean we are all happy for her.” Luke chuckled and rolled his eyes at the blonde. “Yes, yes.” 

One by one the team arrived. One by one you shared your news, and one by one they each congratulated you. 

Matt joked about giving him a hefty amount of notice so he could organise a babysitter. Luke asked how you’d feel if his date was Roxy. Dave offered his house as a possible venue; ”Won’t be the first wedding I host kid.”. While Tara, JJ, Emily, and Garcia were deep in discussion about organising your bridal shower.

In the midst of all the chaos you hadn't even realised that one person was missing. The person who’s reaction might not be as cheery as the rest of the group currently huddled around you.

Spencer was late for work. He cursed under his breath while waiting for the elevator. He didn't like to be late. Which is why it didn't happen often. Not because time-keeping overall was important to him. No. He made sure to arrive early each day because it was the only time of day he got to spend with you. Alone. 

It was the only time of day he had you all to himself.

As selfish as it may seem, it was the truth. Although he would never admit it to anyone because that would mean admitting his true feelings. And he couldn't do that. He had his chance. He blew it. Maybe he would get another in the future, he secretly hoped he would, but for now those interrupted mornings with you had to suffice. 

The brunette agent immediately noticed the team gathered at your desk. He thought the worst, but was quickly reassured you were okay when your honey-like laughter filled the bullpen. The sound was music to his ears. If he could, he’d listen to you laugh all day.

“So are you going to keep us guessing forever?” Tara asked intrigued. “How did Ethan do it?” 

Garcia clapped her hands. “Yes, tell us. Was it romantic? Oh, who am I kidding of course it was romantic. All proposals are.” 

Proposals? Spencer shook the thought away. No, he must have heard that incorrectly.

“Did he get down on one knee?” JJ asked with a smile. 

“I gotta give it to Ethan though cause that ring looks expensive. Being a surgeon must be nice.” Luke noted, causing Garcia to smack his bicep. “What?” He retorted shrugging his shoulders. “It’s just an observation.” “Keep your observations to yourself newbie.” 

“Why don’t we let Y/N breathe for a second?” Rossi chimed in. “I’ll treat everyone to lunch later and she can tell us the story then.” He suggested, glancing between the team. Everyone nodded in unison and scattered; just as Spencer approached. 

The second your gaze landed on him, you noticed the solemn look spread across his face. A sick feeling spread through you and you quickly wondered just how much he overheard. 

“Good morning doctor.” You greeted him, your lips pursed into a half-smile. 

“Good morning.” Spencer replied without looking at you. 

“How are you?” You asked as he took off his bag and placed it on the desk beside him. “I wondered where you were this morning.” You added, making conversation.

Spencer didn't respond. He couldn't bring himself to say anything. He couldn't even bare to meet your eyes; which were currently burning a hole into the side of his head. 

While he thought he misheard Garcia say something about proposals, he definitely heard JJ’s question and Luke mention Ethan, and the ring. Spencer usually stirred away from making assumptions, but this time all the evidence was there. He didn't have to ask. He knew. You were engaged. 

“Can-” You cleared your throat. “Can we go somewhere private and talk? I have something I need to tell you.”

“I can’t now.” He rasped. Before you got a chance to protest, the brunette doctor turned on his heel and rushed away. 

The reason he dashed away was you. Your engagement. He figured it out, overheard it, and now he needed to process this new information. You should have let him go, do it alone. You knew you shouldn't have followed him, that it would only make things worse, but you couldn't help yourself. There was a time where you thought Spencer was the love of your life. That the two of you would be getting married. And even though that didn't work out...

You grabbed his arm and using all of your strength you pulled him to a halt. The brunette doctor ran a hand through his already ruffled hair as you stepped in front of him. 

“Spencer, can we talk about this?” You asked, your hand falling back down to your side. “There is nothing to talk about Y/N.” Spencer huffed. “You’re engaged. I’m happy for you.” There was a distinct hurt in his voice. 

“This isn’t how I thought you would find out. I wanted you to be the first one to know but-” “It doesn’t matter Y/N.” He interrupted. 

“It matters to me Spencer.” 

“Why?” He asked in an ominous tone. His eyes darkened. “We broke up a long time ago. You don't owe me anything.” “Our breakup has nothing to do with this.” You protested. Spencer scoffed. “I don’t believe you. You’re not chasing down any of the other members of our team.” “Yeah, because they’re all genuinely happy for me.”

“You don't think I’m happy for you?”

“I know you're not.” 

Silence. Heavy-sitting, unbearable silence. The two of you simply stared at each other as if fighting an inaudible argument. Blood pressure rising, your heart was now hammering in your chest and you were sure he was even angrier than you.

Perhaps that last sentence came out harsher then you intended it to, but in your eyes it was the truth. Spencer had every right not to be happy for you. In fact, a large part of you expected him to react badly which is also another reason why you wanted him to be the first to know. 

You were right of course, you just didn't know it. 

The pain in his chest was insufferable. The jealousy, the anger, the sorrow. All of those feelings mixed inside of him and spread through his body like wildfire. He thought he was heartbroken before, back when you first started dating Ethan, but he was dead wrong. His head was spinning. He felt nauseous. It was hard to breathe. This was heartbreak.

See, Spencer was there when you and Ethan first met. Which in his mind made all of this so much worse. The team was working a local case, and the brunette agent got hurt. Not severely, but it was enough to make everyone worry so you volunteered to drive him to the hospital. While Spencer got checked out, you went to fetch him some jell-o. When you returned about twenty minutes later, you weren't alone anymore. 

You never told anyone the full story. Just that the surgeon spotted you in the cafeteria, and asked you out for coffee. Honestly, there wasn't much more to it than that. Well, apart from the tiny detail that your initial thought was to decline Ethan’s offer because you were secretly hoping to get back together with the brunette agent. 

The only reason you said yes to Ethan all those months ago was because he was a surgeon, and with both of your hectic schedules combined you never thought it would progress any further than that one coffee date. But it did. And overtime you moved on from Spencer, and learned to love the surgeon. The feeling isn't quite the same, but Ethan makes you feel good and at the end of the day that’s all that matters. Right?

“What do you want me to say Y/N?” Spencer asked, finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Do you want to hear how I think you’re rushing into this? Do you want me to tell you I think Ethan is bad for you? That you can do better?” Pause. “It’s not like my opinion will change anything.” 

You opened your mouth to say something but no words came out. Spencer sighed. “You’re engaged now. You’re going to marry Ethan, and I’m respecting your choice.” 

The look that spread across Spencer’s face was pure sadness. He tried not to show it, but you could read him like an open book. He was in pain. He was in pain and there was nothing you could possibly do that would in any way help him or make him feel any better.

“We both moved on Y/N. You deserve to be happy, even if I think the guy is a jerk.” Spencer stated. It was harsh, he knew that, but in his defence it wasn't entirely true. Yes, he thought Ethan was an ass but it was primarily because Spencer loved you still, and he knew he would continue to love you until the end of his days. In his eyes, Ethan didn't deserve you.

And Spencer tried to get over you. Once he knew that you and Ethan were serious, he really tried to get over you. Yet nothing he did worked; it is as if you are imbedded deep in his soul. If he was a selfish man, he would let you stay there forever making it your permanent home. But Spencer Reid wasn't selfish, far from it. And now you were engaged to someone that wasn't him. He had to cut the cord. Even if the feeling was going to crush him. 

“The only thing we share now is our work Y/N, nothing more.” And with that the brunette doctor walked away leaving you feeling lost, confused and slightly hurt. 

You at least thought he considered you a friend.

Loving you is a bloodsport. Fighting in a love war.

-

A/N: starting off the new year right with this angsty mini-series. honestly, i couldn't get the idea out of my head over the holidays so i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i am currently enjoying writing it! hope you liked the first chapter. i’d love to hear your feedback and what you think will happen next! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

main masterlist | series masterlist

[tastyykpop]

May I request seveteen's ideal types like you did Got7 's? I just found your blog and it feels like i hit the jackpot!! We both Stan the same groups.:)

sᴇᴜɴᴄʜᴇᴏʟ

Confirmed ideal type: someone who can cook well and who eats a lot

Just cook and eat a lot i guess🙄 jkjk thats like the base for his ideal type, he would also want a girl who works hard just like him. A girl who is an extrovert. Since he's the leader of 13 men, she would have to be the mom of the members, so she should have a warm heart. Not only that, she should be his number one supporter. A fierce girl who will protect him, though he doesn't need it because he can protect himself but it shows that she cares for him. Seungcheol also wants someone he can spoil. For body appearances, he doesn't really care but he prefers someone with tanned skin and smells good.

ᴊᴇᴏɴɢʜᴀɴ

Confirmed ideal type: a girl is someone who loves them and buys their albums

Carats are you listening 👂👀👄👀👂jeonghan wants someone who cares about him a lot. He wants someone who isn't shy ok bye then and who isn't that loud. He likes someone who can be serious yet crazy at the right times. Jeonghan would like a girl who is immature and mature depending on the situation. The most important thing is she must be kind to others. For appearance, he wants someone petit and cute, who is also very feminine. Someone with a cute haircut and a puppy like face.

ᴊᴏsʜᴜᴀ

Confirmed ideal type: someone who is kind

Joshua wants someone affectionate and caring towards him and others. Joshua doesn't care if they're an introvert or extrovert, as long as they're talkative because surprisingly, he is too. But he also prefers someone who can stay calm at times. He wants a girl who can stay home and also go out with him. Joshua likes someone with passion. As for appearances, he doesn't want so much as someone who's super perfect, but he wants someone who's pretty and cute with a good personality. Joshua doesn't care what they wear either.

ᴊᴜɴ

Confirmed ideal type: a girl is someone who looks pure. He also likes sexy girls

Jun wants someone playful and shy. He wants someone supportive, encouraging, and loves him wholeheartedly. Jun also wants someone who thinks about him, but also bond with the other members. For appearance, he likes an innocent and clean image, almost like an angel. Also someone who's elegant, but sexy.

ʜᴏsʜɪ

Confirmed ideal type: someone who is fragrant and likes him

Hoshis simple man who wants someone to give him chocolate, kisses, and hugs🥺💔. He likes a girl that makes him feel at home whenever they are together and someone who doesn't go out often. A girl who is an extrovert but also has a shy side, is someone he prefers. For looks, hoshi likes girls who are cheerful and laugh a lot, especially at what he says, but not when he's being serious.

ᴡᴏɴᴡᴏᴏ

Confirmed ideal type: someone who suits him well

Wonwoo wants someone closer to his personality. He's quiet on camera, but alone he's very talkative so he'd like someone who can talk a lot and that is also a good listener. Wonwoo prefers someone who's cute and fun. He wants someone he can be comfortable and safe with. Also he wants a girl who loves books. Wonwoo doesn't have a preference for look, but he'd prefer someone who matches his appearance.

ᴡᴏᴏᴢɪ

Confirmed ideal type: a girl who is bright and friendly

Jihoon prefers someone introvert and calm, but with a cheerful and bright personality. Someone who is caring and honest would make the cut. He likes someone serious and careful, but is also fun to be with. The girl must have a passion for music so he can relate with her. Jihoon would like a stubborn girl who can tell him when he is overworked. He is another member who doesn't have a preference for appearances, but maybe a girl who is cute.

sᴇᴏᴋᴍɪɴ

Confirmed ideal type: a girl with long dark hair, has aegyo, and has long slender legs

The girl must be sweet and kind. Seokmin wants someone who knows how to have fun and is happy. He wants a genuine girl who is honest. Also, a girl who is younger. He prefers someone open minded and can understand him well, like when he is in a bad state even though he is smiling. Appearances are already said but to add to that, he wants someone sexy😌

ᴍɪɴɢʏᴜ

Confirmed ideal type: a girl who is tall, kind-hearted & easy-going

Ayo mingyu I'm right here 😑🤌. Another one that wants someone caring, kind and understanding. Someone who is carefree and isn't hot tempered nvm I am not right here. Mingyu likes someone romantic and sweet and independent with a different way of thinking and can understand that a lot of girls like him. So she must be a good listener. His ideal appearance is someone charming and someone tall like him with a chic style.

ᴍɪɴɢʜᴀᴏ

Confirmed ideal type: someone who is cute and kind

He wants someone who has a personality similar to Joshua's dont we all. Minghao likes someone caring and loving, a girl with lots of aegyo. Someone who is also positive and thinks about him often. Someone who can speak Chinese would be a bonus because then he could speak easier with them. Hed like someone who isn't too loud nor too quiet. In terms of looks, minghao would most likely prefer someone cute yet reserved with their appearances.

sᴇᴜɴɢᴋᴡᴀɴ

Confirmed ideal type: an easy going girl with big eyes and is like a friend to him

Because seungkwan has such a hype personality, he wants a girl just like that so they could have fun. He likes extroverts and sassy girls. Seungkwan prefers girls who are loud and easy going. He also likes independent and ambitious girls. A girl who can push seungkwan to do good and is very supportive is what he looks for. Someone honest and outspoken like himself. Seungkwan doesn't have a preference for appearances.

ᴠᴇʀɴᴏɴ

Confirmed ideal type: someone his heart can connect with

Vernon prefers chill girls that can support him whenever he is insecure. Someone who is also very expressive with her feelings and affectionate. He wants someone to embrace him as a person, not an idol. Vernon prefers personality over appearance but he liles girls with short bob hairstyles and pretty legs.

ᴅɪɴᴏ

Confirmed ideal type: pretty girl who does aegyo

Basically just like the other members 🤺. Dino wants a girl the same age as him or older. He likes noonas who can support him. Dino wants someone who doesn't sush him since he's still young. He needs someone who can help him through the dating life and has experience. Hed like a noona who doesn't see him as a kid and can trust him. Dino likes girls with pretty faces who are also cute.

[all1e23]

Honey & Whiskey [Pt.1]

Pairings: Alpha!Billy Russo x Omega! Reader

Summary:   Falling was sweeter than honey and warm as whiskey.

Warnings: None for this chapter. Typical A/B/O dynamics.

A/N:  I know I am your dealer for soft Bucky but I’m trying out some new product. Soft Billy Russo. Just take a little taste. I promise It’s worth it. This is largely a self-indulgent fic and also for my beautiful beta @moonbeambucky​​. If you like it write me a book report, sing me a song or come scream at me.

***My fics are not to be saved or posted on any other sites without my written permission. Reblogs are my jam, though! Thanks!****

You heard his car in the driveway before you caught the sound of the front door. This probably wasn’t the way to handle something like this. Prominent families didn’t behave like this. They didn’t cause a scene, and they certainly didn’t question a match this good. It was hard enough to find an Alpha that came from a good family, but one who wasn’t a complete knothead and genuinely cared for you? That was next to impossible. You managed to find that one in a million, and here you were pulling a stunt like this.

When you were a little girl, you read stories about the princess finding her prince, being saved from the tower, and living happily ever after in a big castle. So, you waited for your very own to come. You waited and waited by your window, but your prince never showed. You stayed locked in your tower with no sign of a savior. As you became older, you realized you didn’t want to be rescued, taken from one dungeon, and moved to another. You could take care of yourself without an Alpha there to defend your heart and fight the evil queen on your behalf.

Turned out you could handle her on all on your own.

Then you met James one evening at a friend’s wedding. He was sweet. Dark hair, blue eyes, and a charming crooked smile. He offered to buy you a drink and didn’t flinch when you reciprocated with the second. It was easy with James right from the start, and your parents were thrilled. They were simply over the moon. He came from a long line of senators, and his family were members at the club where your father plays golf. Everything was perfect. It was all working out the way it was supposed to, and in one short week, you would be married and bonded to James.

In the two years you’ve spent together, James has done everything he could to make you happy, not once has he abused his authority over you or made you feel as if you were less than him as his Omega. James has never given you a reason to fear him. Everything on the surface was perfect, but if you looked close, the cracks were easy to spot. Your heart had never had cause to race when he was near, and you never did learn what it would feel like to go weak from his touch.

It was doubtful you would ever know what it would be like to tremble from the brush of your Alpha’s fingertips. The odds you would find that love in this lifetime were slim, but if you stayed where you were, there would be no chance.

“Uh, Y/n…’ James stopped in the doorway to your shared bedroom and looked fairly amused, albeit confused by your attire. “What’s going on? Isn’t this bad luck?”

You glanced down at your wedding dress and grimaced. It wasn’t that the dress wasn’t beautiful, it was. It wasn’t you, though. It was huge for starters. Your mother had insisted this was the one from the moment it graced your frame. The skirt was so large you weren’t sure you would make it into the limo Saturday morning, and the bodice and lace sleeves were covered in so many crystals it felt like you were carrying an extra thirty pounds of glitter. This wasn’t the dress you pictured when you spent your days playing princesses in your bedroom, and all of this felt wrong.

You looked back up at your fiance, who was by your side in an instant when he saw fresh tears falling down your cheeks. James quickly wiped them away with only his thumbs. No tender kisses brushed them away, his touch was gentle but not in a way that soothed the restlessness in your soul.

“Do you feel something seeing me in this? I mean, really feel something? Because I don’t feel anything when I put it on. I’ve been trying so hard to feel something, anything but... I don't."

James tossed his keys on the dresser and stuffed his hands in his pockets now that he realized what this was. It wasn’t a simple case of cold feet or some cute moment you were going to bring up at the rehearsal for a quick laugh during toasts. He didn’t look mad, he was disconcerted, and you couldn’t blame him for that.

You didn’t fully understand why yourself, so you couldn’t expect him to.

“Okay. What is this, baby? What’s going on?”

As good and kind as James was, it wasn’t there.

“I’m not in love, and I don’t think you are either.”

The confirmation you needed flashed in his eyes. He didn’t feel it either. You stepped forward and held your hands out for his. James placed his hands in your hands without any hesitation, his fingers tightened around yours the longer the silence stretched between you. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and when his eyes opened again, there was something different about them. They were filled with acceptance and a little bit of relief you knew he wouldn’t want you to see.

“I do love you, and I would take care of you,” James offered as if he was giving you one last opportunity to change your mind. One more chance to do the right thing.

You kissed his cheek and pulled your hand back from his hold, leaving the three-carat oval cut diamond resting in his palm. People lived that lie every day. Your parents, James’s parents, and you wouldn’t be surprised to find out it was the foundation on which most of the marriages you knew were born. Its prevalence among your social status was hefty and typical, but that wouldn’t be fair to either of you.

It wasn't a lie you could spend the rest of your life telling.

“I know, but I want more than that. I want to feel it.”

-----------

“Okay, May. I am out of here,” You chirped. It had been a long, exhausting day. You worked a double shift after one of the other waitresses, an Omega, called out claiming she was in heat, but this was her third heat in four months. It was entirely possible that she was being truthful and not using her designation to get extra days off so she could play house with that Beta she’s been dating since Halloween. Maybe she was a medical marvel, and her heats really did come three times as often as every other Omega on the planet.

All you knew for certain? Your bed was calling your name, and you could not wait to get out of this diner.

“The rush seems to have died down, and I am dead on my feet, so I’m leaving before we get the late dinner crowd, and you beg me to stay.”

“Yeah, yeah. Always complaining,” May teased with a grin and a motherly gleam in her eye. “Take your cut from the tips, and then I want you to eat and get some sleep. You can come in for the dinner shift tomorrow.”

“You gonna clear that with Roger?”

May rolled her eyes at the mention of your boss; Alpha and every bit the knothead prick.

“I’ll deal with him. Don’t you worry about it.”

"Hey, Y/n.” You glanced at Karen, who had a taunting smirk making her pale cheeks flush, she was pointing to the far back of the diner with her order pad, and she mocked with a teasing grin, “Look who it is! Your boy arrived just in time to see you off."

Your eyes followed her bright purple pen, and your knees went weak the moment you laid eyes on him. You didn’t know he was coming tonight. It’s been four days since you last saw his pretty face (not that you were counting or anything!), and you hadn’t realized how much you missed him until that moment. The handsome, dark-haired Alpha was sitting at one of your usual tables and looked uneasy, his leg was bouncing up and down at a vigorous pace, his dark blue hoodie pulled up over his head, and he was wringing his hands together as he scanned the small diner for you -- what you hoped was for you anyway.

"Don't get any ideas about that, Alpha." May Parker huffed.

The older Omega was a little cynical from the cards life had dealt her, and from the second you showed up looking for a job, she took it upon herself to look after you the way a mother would. It wasn't as if your mother had any interest in your life at the moment, not after you embarrassed her and left a black smear on your family’s name. A mark didn’t suffice for the choices you made. Your actions affected everyone in the family, bled onto the very fabric your ancestors stitched together, and made a tear that thread and needle could never mend. Apparently, you should have married even though you weren’t in love and simply found a way to fall in love with James after vows and rings were exchanged.

At least May understood your choice, and you couldn’t blame her for the fire in her eyes and the ice in her touch when it comes to Alphas; life had not been kind to her. Despite losing her true mate at a young age, only to end up with a sad stand-in for the man she lost. He abused his designation and using it to control her and her son. It took years to rid herself of him, but she built a nice life without him. She obtained assistance from an Omega Shelter, went through therapy to break their bond, and even bought a place of her own. Even after all the good that has come over the last seven years, the clouded memories have left her jaded and wary.

"You need to find someone that will take care of you, and he's not it. You stay away from Billy Russo, you hear me? He's not a good Alpha. I’ve known him longer than you have.”

That was true. You’ve only been in the city for eight months and working at Sunrise Diner for seven. Billy was a customer long before you came around, but according to Karen, he would pick up an order to go, barely spoke to anyone, and never tried to get a table. May didn’t know him any better than you did. It wasn’t as if they had some long-standing relationship or history. You were grateful for the advice, but you could make your own judgments.

You’ve let someone else be your eyes and voice for far too long, and you weren’t about to allow yourself to repeat past mistakes.

Billy finally found you standing behind the counter, and the second your eyes locked his own lit up, his legs settled, and the smile on his face just about knocked you over. Your smile widened as you stared at each other for what felt like ages.

"Y/n, are you listening to me?” May snapped her fingers in front of your face, forcing your eyes to focus on her.  “He's trouble. Ex-marine with more issues than one person can handle."

You tossed your apron under the register in the black bin that held all the dirty smocks for the night. You glanced at your reflection in the silver napkin holder, resting in the order window and swore under your breath. Your hair’s frayed and sticking out every which way, and your lip gloss faded the first hour into your shift. It was too late to do anything about that now. Not with May watching your every move and Billy sitting so close, his eyes trained on you now that he found you.

Having Billy watch you fix your lipstick because he came in would be an embarrassment you wouldn’t survive.

"That's why he should have someone he can lean on. We are friends. I have a feeling he needs someone that won’t judge him for a past he can’t change.”

"Trouble,” May huffed. “You're asking for trouble."

You practically skipped over to the table Billy sat at. Same one as always. The booth at the far back of the bright restaurant where he had a view of the bathrooms and the front door. He always sat with his back against the wall, and every few minutes, his eyes wandered over to the exit door on his right. You didn’t know what happened, but you knew it was enough to keep him on edge at all times.

"Hey, Stranger."

Billy's near-black eyes looked brighter now that you’re near, and he gave you that toothy grin that made your stomach flip.

"Hey, sunshine.”

Sunshine.

Billy has called you that from the moment you met, you weren’t sure why, but it made your heart race every time it rolled off his tongue. You have to admit you didn’t hate the feeling.

"You haven't been in for a few days. I was starting to think the mac and cheese scared you off."

That wasn’t really true. Though, you did question the state of the mac and cheese on a regular basis. The way the noodles all stuck together in that round ball wasn’t natural. This was more about you than sticky elbow pasta goop. You were slightly worried that he may have started seeing an Omega and would no longer be coming by for these late-night visits. Not that it was any of your business. It’s not as if you’re bonded or even potential mates. You haven’t spent a moment with  Billy outside this diner. You had not an ounce of claim on him, and you certainly didn’t have a say in who he spent his days with -- or his nights.

Billy let his hood fall back, and he ran a hand over his buzzed hair. His scars were no longer as angry and red as they were when he first came in on that rainy Tuesday afternoon seven months ago. You can still recite every word he said to you that day like some silly school girl daydreaming about the cute boy in study hall. Some nights you did just that, on evenings when he didn’t come by or stayed far too late and left your heart aching for another ten minutes.

Scars or no, he was still the most handsome Alpha you had ever seen.  

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I, uh, it's been a tough few days is all, and I haven't had a second to come in."

You eyed him for a long minute, and you realized what he meant by a tough few days. More like it smacked you right in the face -- rut.

Did he share his rut with someone?

No. No, probably not.

Billy didn’t seem to give his trust freely, so you doubted he called a Service Center to help him through his rut. That didn't mean he didn't have an Omega in his life, one he trusted enough to share it with. It shouldn’t matter if he did, so why did you want to know so badly? It would be easier if you could simply scent him to find out. That’s what you wanted to do. You were aching to scent him right there in the middle of the damn diner in front of Karen, May, and anyone else that wanted to stare. You wanted to be sure there wasn’t a hint of another Omega anywhere near him, maybe leave a little bit of you on him.

What the hell was wrong with you?

You’ve never been this possessive before. Even with James, you never cared if he came home smelling like another Omega. Hell, you never gave it a thought. Billy wasn’t yours, and you needed to remember that.

"I’m glad you’re back. I missed you."

Billy tried to fight off his grin. He tried hard, but it still showed up brightly enough to make you simper. He must have liked that because his scent sweetened, and it was so thick it had your knees shaking. You stood up as straight as you could and locked your knees. Letting your legs give out over some handsome Alpha like a stereotypical Omega would be a shame you could never come back from.

"Is that right?" Billy drawled, smirking as he took in the tremble in your knees and the honey sugaring your scent.

"Yeah, you're my favorite customer,” you answered with a slight shrug. Billy chuckled and ducked his head to hide the pink spreading from his cheeks down his neck, but you caught the rosy hue regardless.

"Favorite." He recited the word as if he didn't like the way it tasted on his tongue like he was confused as to why you would use that word in association with him.

"Without question,” you assured him.

The hesitation in his eyes and confusion had your heart breaking. Someone along the way, recently or long ago, made him feel as though he wasn’t worthy of being someone’s favorite, of being that important to someone. The thought made your gut clench in the worst way. Billy was more than deserving of that title.

"So, I'm about to get off. My shift actually ended about ten minutes ago. Well, technically, my shift ended at two, not eight, but one of the girls is out making medical history, so here I am."

"Oh,” Billy murmured. He was disappointed, that was plain to see. The light in Billy’s eyes instantly faded, and he began to slide out of the booth. You had a feeling if he left now, he would end up picking tacos off the dollar menu at some fast-food chain, eating all alone back at his place. You couldn’t have that now, could you? Besides, friends have dinner together all the time. Isn’t that what Karen told you every time she had dinner with Frank?

Yes, friends could have dinner together, and it didn’t have to mean more than noodles and cheese.

”I can- I'll go eat somewhere else. I don’t want to keep you if you’re going home.”  

You rested your hand on his shoulder to keep him from sliding out past you and shook your head, still smiling down at him. "Oh, no, you don’t. Unless you want to leave, of course. Food here isn't great."

Billy looked up at you, and his eyes have gone dark again, but it wasn’t in the way you liked. He was struggling to figure out what he wanted to say. You could see the moment Billy gave in to whatever it was, he was wrestling with and confessed, “I don't come here for the food.”

Your heart was pounding so hard you swore you could hear it in your ears. No doubt, Billy could pick it up in your scent. You never considered buying suppressants until you met Billy Russo. Then again, there were a lot of things you never considered until you met him. You blew out a shaky breath, and your words came out in as a stuttering mess, "Then… w-why do you come h-here?"

Billy held your gaze but didn’t elaborate further. It was probably for the best. If he had said what you thought could be the reason you might have melted right there at his feet and would have been forced to quit your job citing irremediable humiliation.

"Okay, um, well, I maybe thought I could eat with you? I haven't eaten since this morning, and I've been working all day, so I’m starving."

Billy frowned at that, and he quickly pressed for more, "You haven't eaten all day? So, that means you worked all day without taking a break?”

"Yeah, it happens. Some days it's really busy, and I don't get a second. Roger, our boss, he’s not great at following labor laws. If things get busy like they were today, there is no way he’s letting me take a break.”

If it was possible, Billy’s eyes blackened, and his normal candied scent turned sour. It was a subtle change to the whiskey and brown sugar scent you’ve come to know. He wasn’t on blockers, nor were you, it made his feelings easy to read. You weren’t sure he liked that fact at the moment. The scrunch of his nose and the wrinkle in his brow said he was trying to control his feelings to keep them hidden from you, or maybe he was attempting to understand whatever feeling was jumbled in his head.

“I don’t-- I don’t like that. You should be getting breaks so you can eat. You have to eat.”

You didn’t like it either, but there was little you could do. You had no way to prove that Roger refused to let you take breaks, and it wasn’t like he said he would fire you if you went on break. It only was heavily implied, and he knew when to use an Alpha command, with the tiniest drop in his voice, he had Omegas scampering to do as he wished. Thankfully, you have yet to be on the receiving end, and you had no intention of experiencing it. You needed this job whether or not Billy approved of your break schedule. You couldn’t do anything about Roger or your schedule, but you might be able to fix Billy’s spoiled mood and catch another glimpse of his pretty smile.

"How about you feed me then?" You suggested with a grin.

Billy’s frown quickly faded into a crooked smirk, a gentle chuckle followed, and everything turned sweeter. Whenever Billy was smiling, there was a little more sugar and a little less whiskey floating nearby, and it often left your head spinning for days after. You’ve never been one to fall for a sugar rush over a whiskey high -- until now.

"Okay, Sunshine. I can do that. Do you want to eat here or somewhere else?"

"Where are you most comfortable?"

"Where am I most comfortable…” Billy repeated the question, brows furrowed in thought, and he responded without thinking, “I’m most comfortable when I’m with you."

Billy quickly realized that was not what you meant when he looked up to see your eyes widen.  He cleared his throat and sat up straighter as he tacked on an addendum, hoping you would ignore his first admission. "Nowhere that’s loud. Or, um, crowded. I’m not great in large rowdy groups. I need a place I can sit like this. My back against the wall and know my exits."

You knew that already and now you were mad at yourself for making him admit it out loud, but you had to confess not all of his revelation sounded so bad.

"I'll tell you what I live right around the corner. How about you come over, and I'll make you dinner?"

Inviting an Alpha you barely knew back to your place wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve done. Everyone knows, Omegas at least, you never tell an Alpha your address until you’re courting, and you know what kind you’re dealing with. You couldn’t explain why but your heart and your head were telling you to trust him and when they agree on something you listen.

“You want me to come back to your apartment?”

Billy seemed to be questioning your judgment, but nothing felt wrong about having Billy in your home.

“Only if it will make you feel more comfortable. If not, I know a pizza place a few blocks away, but we will have to catch a cab.”

You truly didn’t mind either way as long as Billy was comfortable. He took a few thoughtful seconds before he nodded. “Your place is okay. If you’re sure, you want me to know where you live.”

You grinned and stepped back so he could stand. “Let me grab my purse, and I’ll meet you by the door, okay?”

Billy didn’t have a chance to answer because you were bounding off towards the counter and the group of nosy Omegas watching you both with interest. Billy stuffed his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, watching you share a few hushed whispers with the older woman behind the register.

“You’re leaving together? Y/n, this is not a good idea. Why can’t you stay here together where we keep an eye on you? It would be safer that way.”

“I said I’m fine. I don’t need you to look after me just because I’m an Omega. I can handle myself, and I can handle Billy.”

“He’s not what you think. I only want you to be careful.”  

You jerked your jacket out from under the counter and slipped your arms into the black puffy arms. You were already done with this. She didn’t know Billy any better than you did. Maybe she saw some things, or he came off like a typical asshole Alpha once when they first met, but the only conversation they have had revolved around grilled cheese sandwiches and you. You stopped in front of May, and you couldn’t keep the ice out of your voice even if you had wanted to. “Did you ever stop to think that maybe he’s not what you think? I’ll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, May.”

Billy glanced over your shoulder and back at you as you approached. “Everything alright over there?”

“Oh, you know.” You shrugged as you stepped out the door Billy was holding open for you. “Co-worker drama.”

There were tiny bits of moonlight shining down on the sidewalk next to you. It was awkward at first. This wasn’t your normal dynamic. Billy came in and ordered the same grilled cheese and fries every night; not that you could blame him for that, it was probably the only edible thing on the menu. You would make some cute comment about melted cheese and Billy would give you that smile that set skin on fire, he left a tip that was always triple the cost of the tiny sandwich and promised to see you real soon. You knew the risks that came with what you were doing. You are breaking the first rule they teach you in Orientation class, but you didn’t care, and it didn’t scare you.

Billy didn’t scare you.

“You know you really shouldn’t invite Alphas you don’t know back to your apartment. It’s not safe. I could be anyone. I could be some asshole Alpha using that sweetness in your heart to take advantage of you.”

Maybe that was the thing that should scare you -- your blind trust for an Alpha you barely knew.

“No, you’re not, Billy.”

“Yeah? How do you know that, Sunshine?”

Billy was teasing you, the mile-wide grin on his face told you so. You shook your head and matched his smile. The answer was pretty simple, really. It was the one thing missing with James. You felt the tension in your shoulders lift, and you told him the only thing about tonight that mattered.  

“I can feel it.”

Masterlist // Part 2

[bbugyu]

:o i dont really know much about mbti types but u seem really knowlegable >.< what about dk's mbti??

oh my god the way i got a boner from being called knowledgeable OK LETS GO I LOVE SEOKMIN SO MUCH

seokmin is an infp, which is the mediator. i actually float between this personality type and infj (the advocate, which is also what wonwoo jihoon and minghao are), so seokmin and i are very similar in a lot of ways - our differences come from our zodiac signs i think ㅠㅠ; infps are actually really rare! yet seventeen has four KDJFSK they value harmony and authenticity and they always have the best intentions - which!!! IS SO SEOKMIN!!!! he will always see the best in people and always act with the best intentions! he is kind to a fault! what a sweet baby.

ok, here’s the breakdown. under the cut. tw seokmin best boy

seokmin is so shy. he doesn’t seem it, because when he’s with svt he goes BUCK FUCKING WILD but in reality he clams up around people he’s not super comfortable around. example: that one picture of him standing with yuju from gfriend where he looks like he’s gonna shit himself kJHFJS or when he was filming his solo parts for the mama performance and he kept saying how nervous he was without the members. he’s super reserved around people he hasn’t known for forever. he even tends to be quiet on variety shows, only really doing his fun comedy bits and talking when other members prompt him (which is almost always jeonghan or seungkwan don’t get me started). infjs (like isfjs) tend to keep a very small group of friends that they are very open and seemingly extroverted with, which is why we get to see seokmin’s genuine personality a lot. he is so fully himself when he is with seventeen and i think that is so beautiful. that being said, infps also are the most social introverts. he makes friends everywhere, and genuinely cares about all of them. his excallibur castmates have said that he was such a bright loving personality on stage and behind the scenes, and he would always visit and support them even after they stopped working together! he went to plays they starred in and posted pictures with them, telling carats to go support them too. you can tell they really appreciated this, because they would return the favor and go to seventeen concerts to cheer him on!

seokmin’s intuition is no joke. he seems a little naive at times, but he is also extremely good at looking at the big picture of a situation and deciding what needs to be done, ie. when they were leaving the venue during ttt he was seemingly the only one that remembered they left a giant mess in the kitchen. that being said, infps skip over details a lot. he also is SO FUNNY like he is genuinely the FUNNIEST MEMBER in my opinion because he just understands every situation so clearly. he’s able to take something a little mundane or whatever and comment on it or react in a way that’s REALLY FUNNY like when they were driving home from ttt and mingyu said he could buy the walnut sweets JFDSKJDSF mingyu wasn’t expecting him to say yes bc they’re such a common treat and seokmin laughed at first but hten immeidately was like “oh actually yes order them” and gyu was like ??? but seokmin kept just saying “stop talking to me order the walnut sweets pls” GODD THEY’RE SO FUNNY i literally cry laugh at shit seokmin does like i don’t know how he does it he’s the funniest motherfucker i’ve ever seen.

he seems like the most understanding member of svt to me. the others are too, ofc, but seokmin’s on another level. infps also feel very deeply and genuinely. as an intuitive personality type, he is immensely empathetic, but not in the same way that jeonghan is. seokmin feels other peoples’ emotions like they’re his own. he sympathizes fully and completely, and i think he tries really hard to internalize that as to not seem so emotional all the time, but as soon as the facade cracks he starts cRYINGGG like he’s a BABY he can’t help it he just FEELS SO MUCHhhh. idk if anyone else notices this but he always repeats what is being said? i find this to be related because he is actively listening, and his way of showing is affirming with short responses every few sentences. he seems like such a good person to go to when you’re struggling and want someone to comiserate with. seungkwan is someone you go to when you need advice, but seokmin is the one you go to when you want to vent, because he’ll immediately match how you’re feeling about the situation and empathize with you.

i think seokmin also tends to take things personally? i think he’s gotten better about this in recent years and instead uses it as a joke, but you can tell it still bothers him sometimes ㅠㅠ like, okay, so seokmin posted that picture for seungkwan’s birthday and said something along the lines of “do you remember when we went out to have fun and fought? sorry i couldn’t be better” etc so in boo’s birthday live he explained the situation because it was resolved nicely. he said that the two of them went kayaking with jeonghan (which, btw, booseokhan are literally married and i am the most spoiled carat ever) and got in a little disagreement about something menial, and seungkwan thought it was resolved quickly, but afterwards jeonghan was driving them and seokmin put on a song and boo was like “oh what kind of song is this?” as a joke, but seokmin took it personally and got sulky. but then him and jeonghan danced to anysong and honestly who can blame them. it seems like every time he gets in a fight with other members, he thinks about how he doesn’t want it to tear them apart, so no matter how mad he is, he tries to find a way to resolve it. like with the gray bag incident JDHFKJHF he said that he thought if he didn’t pick up the bag, mingyu might hit him. he was mad and thought he was in the right, but he didn’t want the argument to escalate, so he did something he didn’t want to end it where it was. also, when jeonghan went live during seokmin’s live, saying “those who want to watch dokyeom watch him, those who want to watch this watch this,” and seokmin got all sulky about carats saying they wanted to see what jeonghan was up to. he laughed and said he was kidding, but then he was like “i’m not fun anyways.” whiCH leads us to...

infps have chronic inferiority complexes, but they aren’t envious people, so it manifests in just being immensely self critical. seokmin genuinely believes he isn’t handsome. or a good singer. like. what the fuck is that all about. i get genuinely angry when i think about this. i could talk about how fucking WRONG he is but this is just supposed to be a personality analysis so i’ll just mention that i talked about why i think he’s the perfect man alive in another ask! check that out if you want JKFHKSDF he always has negative things to say about himself but only positives to say about others. which makes me wanna fight. he also is maybe too idealistic??? like i said before, he will always see the best in other people, and it leads the rest of the members to genuinely worry about him. they’re worried that if they’re not there to take care of him, he’ll end up getting taken advantage of by someone. they don’t want him to get scammed ㅠㅠ

some other aspects of infp personalities that i think suit seokmin well but i’m literally braindead and cannot write more of this: open minded, passionate, determined, and loyal.

i would marry seokmin in an instant.

[gigsoupmusic]

INTERVIEW - MICKO WESTMORELAND ON 'VELVET GOLDMINE' AND LIFE WITH THE MELLOTRONICS

Micko Westmoreland first came to the public's attention as the enigmatic Jack Fairey in the star-studded glam rock fake biopic 'Velvet Goldmine', and since then has done everything from making electronica as The Bowling Green to the sharp edged new wave of his current project Micko & The Mellotronics. With that band on the verge of releasing their second single, a double A-side with the timely 'Noisy Neighbours 'and 'You Killed My Father' (featuring the late Neil Innes), he spoke to Gigsoup to tell all... Starting at the beginning, you got your first break appearing in the film ‘Velvet Goldmine’…  Quite a baptism of fire! Yep, I was fresh out of film school with little acting experience. So I did a ton of research, suspended all activities other than glam rock ones; late mornings, blurry eyeliner, became a kind of ‘Our Lady of the Flowers’, to quote Jean Genet. I did appear on set however with well prepared sleeve notes. Ziggy/Hunky and early Roxy had been teenage territory. Toni Colette really helped me during filming, showing me where and how to move and stand in frame etc. which I really wasn’t aware of and she was such a wonderful person to hang out with. Ewan McGregor was enormous in the 90s but treated you like a complete equal. I’ve acted the fiction of being a sensational rock star, my embalmed alter ego is now moth balled and hermetically sealed for posterity. What do you make of the film’s recent re-appraisal – it was panned at the time but now it’s considered a cult classic A lot of the film heavyweights liked it at the time and have consistently sung its praises over the last 20 years, which has contributed to its legacy, plus Todd Haynes is now seen as a 24-carat auteur. 1998 wasn’t ready for a kaleidoscopic pansexual odyssey. Velvet Goldmine truly tapped into a teenage hormonal feeling, so the audience is responsible for its longevity I think, people have grown old with it and new fans have discovered it. You had quite a lot of success making electronic music as The Bowling Green but then switched tack to making more song-based stuff.  What’s the story there? The music I was making was becoming increasingly filmic, so I moved into movie sound tracks for a while and did two film scores and a few documentaries with my brother; acclaimed director Wash Westmoreland (Still Alice, Colette). One of them, Echo Park L.A., won best drama at Sundance in 2006! I was becoming more attuned to a literary narrative and was listening to Dylan’s Time out of Mind and Beck’s Sea Change at the time – couple that with improvements in technology that weren’t so reliant on sampler and keyboard. I started playing much more guitar again, my first love and now my primary instrument for writing. You made a couple of albums under your own name but then formed Micko & The Mellotronics – your first ‘band’ project.  What was the thinking behind that move? I was very much used to working on my own. I made a couple of solo albums, one which Terry Edwards (P.J. Harvey/Holy Holy) released on his Sartorial label called ‘Wax & Wayne’, and ‘Yours Etc Abc’, on my own Landline records imprint, which I believe was the main unconscious projection into putting a live act together. The person doing PR for it asked, ‘Who’s in the band?’ When I realized I didn’t have one, it made sense to look for folk to start pushing sounds around. How would you sum up the band to someone you hadn’t heard you before?  Can you name us a few bands that have influenced its sound? We get compared to the Buzzcocks quite a lot, I’ll take that. I’ve loved Magazine since teenage, Television too. I also dig Serge Gainsbourg majorly and bands like The Silver Apples. I’m really into Iso Tomita, the 70’s electronic musician and of course Mr. Eno too. People have commented that the double A side, soon to be released, is like early Genesis but I think it’s much closer to The Rutles. Patrick from R.O.C. said there was violence to the sound. I do pride the writing on an intricacy and eccentricity but without getting prog about it. Talk us through the Mellotronics members and their individual flavours... Nick Mackay a friend referred me to. He was playing in a two-piece called ‘Barricades’, and was clearly a very good drummer, real flare as a player/performer and had the magic ingredient for any band – he was a thoroughly decent chap you could spend a ton of time with. Jon Klein is our very own rock star hiding in plain sight. He has a CV better than the rest of us put together: Banshees, Sinead O’Connor to name a few and of course his own band Specimen. I lent Jon my amp when we were on the same bill. I gave him a copy of my previous album and he contacted me the next day, which I considered a big thumbs up. He’s very quick, obscenely talented and has revolutionized day-to-day working practice. In short a turbo charged V12 engine has been carefully placed inside a Hillman imp, with fresh brake pads added. Vicky Carroll the bassist also came through personal referral, Haydn Hades who does stand up. At the time she was playing in a band the ‘Owls of Now’, a very bright lady indeed. She really got what the band was about and had great style. The dynamic of now the band get on and its chemistry is essential to longevity. Having a woman on board was important to us, so we really lucked out by finding such a smart cookie in Vicky. So far, you’ve shared ‘The Finger’, your first single, and now two new tracks, which will (eventually) be released as a 7” single.  Talk us through ‘Noisy Neighbors’ and ’You Killed My Father’. Noisy Neighbours came about from my experience with dealing with serial complainers whilst living in a housing co-op. We shot the video with filmmaker Ashley Jones (www.thechaoesengineers.com) in the next door location the inhabitants of the song were occupying, so we had to be quiet. Of course some complaints are genuine but most were more telling of the complainant than complainee. There are control issues, which come about as a result of trying to micromanage your environment beyond your own four walls. I wanted to make a witty statement about that without being over critical or condemning. Raising a single eyebrow over that type of behavior. ‘You Killed My Father’, the double A side was inspired by Neil Innes R.I.P. (Monty Python, Bonzo Dog, The Rutles). So of course I was thrilled when he agreed to play on it. I was introduced to him through an artist friend Harry Pye. We inadvertly created a supergroup together called the Spammed and meet up once a year to record for the Teenage Cancer Trust. Last session Tony Visconti produced a cover of Bolan’s ‘Get it on’, for us. It comprises, Rat Scabies (The Damned), Horace Panter (The Specials), Neil when he was with us and actor/comedian Kevin Eldon on vocs, I play guitar. The song relates to my childhood, growing up in Leeds and has a Shakespearean quality. I checked the prose with an expert to make sure I hadn’t over egged the pudding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5iswf8GG6o You seem to be able to attract some interesting names to collaborate with - Horace Panter of The Specials and the late Neil Innes recently, but also members of The Blockheads, Madness, Stranglers and Goldfrapp in the past.  Who would be top of your collaborative wish list? I’d love to do something with Eno again. We became friendly during the mid nineties. I was tutored by him, whilst working on an art show called ‘Self Storage’ with Laurie Anderson but never made it into the studio. A wild card like Wendy Carlos, famed for the soundtrack of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ would be great too. Likewise, your videos have featured some interesting names from British comedy…  What do they bring to the party?  Anyone else you’d like to get on board if you had free reign? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDr7nkOQN9Q All the comedy connections came from Kevin Eldon initially, a super bright and truly wonderful guy. He introduced me to Paul Putner at a Specials gig. Paul’s a brilliant bloke and really likes the band. He found the remarkable Suzy Kane for us. All three have taken excellent roles. Suzy had a lot of input in Noisy Neighbours, suggesting wardrobe and even shots to Ashley as we were making it; we really have had tremendous fun with our contributors. Obviously, Chris Morris would be fantastic but I’m a little afraid to knock. We hear the debut M&TM album is close to completion – what have you got in store for us? A psychedelic mish mash of fable, sound collage and idea. With the new single, 3 of the songs are now out there. On a musical front Horace Panter out of The Specials has guested on a couple of tracks for us and of course we have one of Neil Innes’ last performances too. I’ve written a song about Imelda Marcos, she seemed like a person who was way ahead of her time, a modern template for a highly manipulative battle-axe. I have an author friend in his 60s who’s an eminent  psychologist, (Georg Eifert - Anxiety Happens) so I wrote a song called ‘The Fear’, with a lot of his theories in mind. There’s also one too called ‘Sick and Tired’, it’s not about what I’m eed up about, but like Noisy Neighbours it’s a comment about complaint. When writing I try to look at what gets talked about by everyday people and base some of the songs around those themes. Earwig on phone conversations on buses, pick up discarded bits of paper, when you get into the habit you’ll be amazed what you find. So I get on the 38 and set my brain to record. There’s also a fair amount about growing up on the record too, which I hope all can relate to. I think you have to start with a good idea, that’s on any level otherwise you’re unlikely to get far. From my art college days I got into the habit of noting things down, if you don’t it often escapes you. It’s difficult to marry a multitude of ingredients and let’s face it the world is full of plenty, pair it down and make it resonate. Anyone who tells you otherwise is telling porkies. To make something that stands the test of time is more difficult still. But I’m not afraid of the work and I enjoy ‘the doing’, for me that’s what it’s all about. I believe that as individuals we have a natural tendency to evolve, if we choose to see it that way and trust, it’ll ‘self fulfill’. If you’ll allow yourself to tap into that expansion creatively, you’ll always find inspiration. Micko & The Mellotronics release 'Noisy Neighbours / You Killed My Father' on Landline Records on April 17 with the 7" single schedule to hit the shops on June 27. Read the full article

[virgocity]

4 years with Seventeen means it's time to get sappy! 💎

My anniversary with Seventeen (2 years!!) isn't until next month but in honor of the day, I've got a few things I want to say about the boys. I've been in K-Pop for 4 years and I've stanned a lot of bands (most notably EXO, BTS and EXID) but no group has EVER made me feel the way Seventeen does. It's hard to describe. There's a different vibe with Seventeen, a different sort of love. All bands love their fans but theirs something about Seventeen that feels so personal and so REAL. Somehow, I feel like they're my friends. I feel like Carats and Seventeen are family. I feel like they care about us in a way that goes way beyond an artist caring about their fans. And they inspire me. They make me happy. They give me strength. They make me feel at home. They've all brought me something very specific and very genuine and I'll be grateful until the day that I die.

Seungcheol taught me about love, about loving my friends and family so deeply but also about loving myself. I'm sure it sounds so cheesy but at my lowest point last summer, I remember listening to What's Good and thinking "...Coups wouldn't want this for me. He'd still love me even if he knew I was struggling. He'd want me to get better." And damn it, that made a huge impact on me.

Jeonghan taught me about being a good friend. He is the guy who makes sure every member is heard and loved and taken care of and I want to be as good to the people I love as he is to the people he loves.

Joshua taught me about manners and respect and perseverance. He is true to himself 100% of the time and he does so both unapologetically AND politely??

Junhui brought me such a love for purity and innocence but also such an appreciation for those who take care of people for love and not for acknowledgement. He might be quiet but he is talented and kind and innocent and he made me appreciate certain traits I never knew I loved.

Hoshi has shown me so much about passion and about laughter?? He is a happy guy, a guy who works hard, a guy who busts his ass and does so because he CARES, and no matter how stressed he is, he makes his friends laugh.

Wonwoo?? The way he's this cool, sometimes cold, stoic badass who also loves books and has a garden and is so sweet to his younger members? He showed me a lot about duality.

Dokyeom is pure positive energy. He has shown me time and time again the power of positivity and warmth and humor. He puts only good into the world and he makes me want to do the same.

Mingyu has shown me SO MUCH. Oh my gosh. He has shown me how to love people, how to try and hone multiple skills, how to be helpful, how to be excited by everything, how to support people. This man is one of the best and brightest I've ever seen in this genre and I think we should all strive to be more like him.

Minghao has shown me how to be myself and care about myself. Through his art, his music, his dancing, his fashion, his hobbies and his hair, Minghao is ALWAYS himself. Proudly himself. Loudly himself. And he always reminds Carats to put themselves first. Both of those lessons are so valuable.

Seungkwan has shown me that it's okay to feel emotions. Every emotion. All the emotions. This kid cries as much as he laughs (and he laughs A LOT) He feels every feeling 110% and he isn't ashamed.

Vernon has shown me the power of going with the flow and loving life. He's a happy kid. He's always laughing, always smiling, always enjoying the ride and I could absolutely stand to be more like him. He's kind to everyone and I think the world needs more guys like Vernon.

My sweet Lee Chan has taught me so much about the value of hard work. No one works as hard as this kid. His entire life is practicing, trying to improve, trying to better himself. I think it's so admirable and it makes me so proud. I want to work as hard as Dino. I want to try as hard as he does.

And finally Woozi, my ultimate bias and the man who brought me to Seventeen. What can I say? This kid inspires me. He makes me want to be better. He makes me want to create. He inspires me to write, to take pictures and post them, to be myself. He wrote Pinwheel because of a dream he had and as someone who writes books based off of her dreams, I feel so validated by that and so connected to my bias. He's taught me so much about creating, about loving people in unconventional ways, about living life. He is the best person I've ever stanned, in K-Pop or anywhere else, and he makes me so, so happy. That he's been out here for 4 years, writing beautiful music and sharing himself with the world despite his fears and anxieties makes me so proud, I could burst. And if he can make a name for himself the way he has, refusing to compromise himself and creating the way he wants, then I know I can, too.

So! To Seventeen, the 13 boys who have who have brought me so much pride and so much joy, and the boys inspire me EVERY DAY to better myself, to take care of myself, to be happy, to try new things and to live a better life, I say thank you. Thank you for the music, for the love, for the laughs, for the support. Thank you for being there in my good times, my bad times and my boring times. Thank you for every time you've made me smile, every piece of yourselves you've shared and every single minute of the last few years.

Please stay together forever. Please be happy and healthy. Please work hard and be proud of your achievements and let's spend a long, long time together. I love you so much and I'll forever be so happy that our paths crossed.

고맙다! 사랑해! 세븐틴 화이팅!

[hearttoshu]

If you could pair up your mutuals with a member from Seventeen (besides their bias) who would you pair them up with and why? P.s i love your blog!!!

AHHHHHH THANK YOU SO SO MUCH I’M CRYING T-T I’m honestly so happy you’ve made my day! 

Aaaaand that’s really hard :,)) I’m really tempted to just pair everyone with their bias wreckers now too haha… the thing is each of my friends have biases for a reason they match well! But I’ll try hehe (and it’s super long) so ye and these are just my opinions haha (also I’m sorry I can only do a few of my mutuals that I’m familiar with, it’s because it would be too long and you’ll see what I mean…)

@bloatedboo​ ~ Seungkwan: Ok so hear me out about this I think seri is really funny and seungkwan is also really funny which is why I think they’d be cute together and also seungkwan kinda seems to me, that how people view him matters like he takes what others say about him to heart even if they’re not the nicest comments and is a bit self deprecating and Seri doesn’t much let that kind of stuff affect her so I feel like they’d be a good match in that aspect because she’d remind him he’s wonderful all the time and he’d do anything to make her smile so yea lol

@jetaimeyoongi​ ~ Mingyu: and not because he was her bias before lol but just I feel like since she’s on the dab squad she shares a lot in common with Minghao 😂 like Soph is really talented at dancing (and singing and rapping) like Minghao is and she also has a kind of bright sense of humor and since minghao and mingyu get along so well I think she’d be cute with mingyu because she’d be able to handle his puppy-like personality the best and they’d dote on each other all the time that’s CUTE

@softwonwoo​ ~ Jun: Ok before Jian was a carat I sorta guessed her bias would be jun even though she surprised me with biasing wonu hehe (though jiwoo is hella cute) and the reason was he makes stupid puns and cheesy jokes (I mean wonwoo does too) like Jin of bts (who is her bts bias haha) and he has a beautiful and light airy voice and can dance beautifully (also like Jian) and they can make dumb jokes together and be pretty people and walk down the street together and make people’s jaws drop at them like lol that’s what I initially thought and they both opt not to share too many personal struggles and internalize it and make jokes about it (?) so that’s why I think that

@starry-sof​ ~ Wonu: LOL the surprises keep coming uhhh ok so my reasoning is they both kinda have darker senses of humor ?? And they both really like books and I can absolutely imagine Sof getting fired up about something and ranting for a long time to wonu only for him to nod say ok at the end and then launch into a full deep discourse over the issue… and I can imagine them doing a show or production together since wonu is good at acting and their personalities kinda click form what I can see..?

@malikani ~ Joshua: I’m- sndkejdje XD anyway my reasoning for this is because Angie sings and so does joshu and they’re both incredibly kind people and also based on her got7 bias (bambam lol) I feel like josh (being his dork of a self) would absolutely love making her laugh and singing for her with his guitar (and again beautiful people walking on the street making people’s jaws drops istg Angie I love you so much :D)

@vinerlover ~ Seokmin: the purest and kindest type of people??? I love them both so much???? They’re literally the nicest people ever they’d match well I think since they both are very bright to me and both have insecurities… so if they were together they’d probably grow to be very amazing people,helping each other become more confident and cheering each other on!

@jeonghanniesfool ~ Wonwoo: I’M ALSO REALLY TEMPTED TO SAY UJI BUT I WON’T AIKA... The reason is she writes incredibly well and is incredibly intelligent so I feel like they’d definitely be a good match for conversations over anything and he has such a chill attitude I think they’d match in personality too 

@ksys-star ~ HOSHIILITERALLYCAN’TASTREANDSOONYOUNGAREGREAT uhhh Jun: They both have a sort of childlike and blunt humor to them and I love how they’re both slightly teasing (ANDALSOASTRETHEJUNPICSYOUSUBMITTEDTOMYINBOXARESTILLTHERE)

@urijeongcheol ~ Seungcheol: I think Grace and Cheol would be cute! She’s so incredibly nice and BEAUTIFUL AND PRECIOUS I LOVE HER and I feel like Cheol would be so smitten i can’t the idea is just too cute

@bikerwoozi ~ Jeonghan: (this is another one of those let’s put really beautiful people together and see if the world could handle it sort of deal) Chloe is very forward with what she likes and she’s so passionate about it too! I feel like Hannie is too! (also i don’t wanna just opt out and say hao lol even though Hao’s her boy too :,))

@fallingforcheol ~ Chan: I haven’t spoken to Ri too much but from the posts I see I genuinely think Ri’s a very creative and hilarious person! And tbh I think Ri and Chan would have a great time exposing everyone and making jokes about everyone haha XD

@shuuvee ~ Soonyoung: I’m causing all kinds of chaos with this I’m very sorry The reason being I think Kevin and Hoshi would balance out well! Soonyoung is very outgoing and self confident and this is what I would see as a Junhao dynamic haha where they both complete the shortcomings of the other and are always the strongest together! Plus Soonyoung being Kevin’s personal cheerleader and rooting him on in everything he does is a whole af mood

@mingshuaa ~ Jihoon: Shawna and Jihoon (to me) seem to be people who don’t outwardly show affection in the form of words like “I love you” but in the little things they do! Idk i just think they’d be cute! Also they’re both not super into skinship haha

@multyfan1458 ~ Vernon: i’mhonestlycausingsomuchchaosi’msorryeveryoneistillgenuinelyshipy’allwithyourbiaseshahaha Because I honestly find Krystal so funny and chill? Just like Hansol! And I love the both of them their senses of humor are unrivaled :,)))

@officialhoshi ~ Minghao: I’M SORRY EVERYONE LOL I just get a very comforting vibe from the both of them? Like Maya seems like someone you can talk about anything comfortably and be understanding and I feel like minghao would too gosh I’m soft

AGAIN I’M SORRY FOR THE CHAOS I HAVE CAUSED LMAO I LOVE YOU ALL and don’t take what I say to seriously what do I know :,))

[kveom]

hello its your secret carat again !! <3 you made me crave hot chocolate so bad hfhfjg i had to run to the store to get some whipped cream but its sooooo worth it ☕ tbh i really cant wrap my head around the idea of celebrating christmas and new years in the hot summer lol you're probably used to it but for a northern hemisphere....er (?) like me it seems like such a fun and unique experience, i would really love to experience it for myself someday~

seokhan noooo 🥺🥺🥺 i agree 100% and they would be my pick too; seokhan just cannot be separated i love them sm ;-; </333 hoshi and dino are super cute too, if you told me they're actual real life brothers i would believe u no questions asked, same for dk & vernon <3 honestly svt as a whole is really just one big group of brothers that supports, protects and loves each other no matter what and im so happy they get to live out their dreams together <33

WOOZI PRODUCER OF THE YEAR HELLO 😭😭😭😭 and when he thanked his favorite producer bumzu and asked him to share the honor with him i really felt like crying AHH carats are the 3rd biggest svt fans only after bumzu and svt 😭😭😭😭 speaking of junhao i really love how the boys always make sure to include them any way they can and give us little updates,,, i miss them sm too but im glad they get to spend some time with their families and promote in their home country at least, they really deserve that. it would be nice if they could perform in china as seventeen too, like jun always talks about.. i think that would really mean a lot to him </3

the bungee jump naawwww the way dokyeom kept apologizing for making them wait and they all assured him its okay and kept telling him how cool he is (he really is !!! hes the coolest !!!) 😭😭 i wonder if he would have found the courage to jump like that if it wasnt for his members, he genuinely looked so scared and anxious aw i was cheering so loudly along w the boys when he jumped <333 it reminded me of that time in ofd when they went skiing and dokyeom was struggling so much, the others made sure to cheer for him and comforted him when he eventually got down 🥺🥺 they couldve just given up on him and told him "its okay you dont have to do it if you're scared" but they really wanted him to overcome his fears and have fun with them ;-; i think it was mingyu who once mentioned that they always try to make sure everyone gets a chance to talk when they're doing variety or radio shows so no one feels left out. when you have 13 members that must be really hard to do but they're always super considerate of each other,,, seventeen best boys <3

OOF im sorry,,,, i piggybacked off your essay and wrote one myself as well LMAO but hm as for some of my favorite heartwarming moments,,,, i really love when they sit down and just.. get real with each other you know ? like in the TTT camping episode or omg no wait WHEN WOOZI TOLD THE BOYS THEYRE HIS QUERENCIA NAURRRR 😭😭😭😭😭 it was so funny cause he tried to be so cool about it but the fact that saying it made him cringe and he still wanted to say anyway made it so much more meaningful <3333 actually i just rewatched that moment and ???? its a million times more precious than i remember ???? im laying on the floor in a puddle of my own tears as we speak ;-----; oh and another moment i really loved was when vernon injured his ankle so he was sitting at the back of the stage just vibing and then dokyeom ran up to him and jumped into his arms and stayed by his side for a bit bro that shit was SO . CUTE . HAD ME IN TEARS !!!!!!!

ANYWAY im sorry for rambling so much hshhsh i promise i'll try to keep it a little shorter next time but you really got me in my feels </33 i wanna ask another question if thats okay! if you could give dokyeom your own secret santa present, what would you get him?

hope your week has been good so far 💕

~ your secret carat

sorry sorry sooryyyyyyy! i’ve been trying to bingewatch a 50 episode kdrama in the span of ~4 days (it was not successful.. i’m on ep 25 lmao)

kjdfhdskjf i love that! spreading hot chocolate love is my passion <3 and you know what?? i don't usually have whipped cream with my hot chocolate but i'm gonna try it next time hehe. i hope you do get to experience it too!! tbh thinking about it i used to be jealous about winter christmases but summer christmases are pretty great and wouldn't trade it!

aaaaaah seokhan have gotten more lowkey compared to ~2017-2018 but i love how you can tell they're still very much infatuated (platonic) with each other even outside of the "obvious" moments (e.g. the random dinner quaranteen thing or just them mentioning each other unprompted in interviews) but yes agree with the other pairings you mentioned!! Firstly soonchan ADORE and respect each other so much and it's so obvious. remember that performance where the stage was slippery and they held hands and did a lil dance?? 😭😭😭😭😭 tattooed on my brain. AND 218 BROSSSSSS they're so funny together because it doesn't seem like they should get along?? But they match each other so well <3 i remember making a super emotional post about them bc i just had so many feeeeeelingsssss and it’s quite a vivid memory lmao like i remember it was during my break between classes at uni in the lounge room or whatever heh

"carats are the third biggest fans of svt" YES UR SO RIGHT. bumzu really has been with seventeen through everything and he deserves that award so much as well. But yeah I love how seventeen always remembers where they came from/acknowledges the people around them I really would love to know what it's like to work with them. also, if you had a say in seventeen’s next comeback what would you do? could be in terms of concept, sound, costumes, content, whatever!

junhao China tour when 😭😭 I don't know the restrictions in Korea/China right now but I really hope they haven't missed their chance to do it. The absolute JOY Jun especially would experience would be so 💕💘💕💘💘💕💖

I kind of wanted mingyu to bungee jump as well tbh :( I know he hates it but I feel like this was one of those experiences that dk wouldn't change if he had a chance to do it all over again just because of how proud he was of himself?? and i kinda want that for mingyu too?? But then again.. I feel like mingyu could be someone that would be like "I don't need to do that to be proud of myself" ajdbakak. I'd again like to thank those weverse magazine interviews for asking AMAZING questions, and especially asking DK about the bungee jumping. He deserves to know and talk about how amazing he is and how proud he should be of himself. I seriously just marvel at how blessed seokmin is to have found himself in a group of such supportive and kind people because you KNOW he needs it.

Look at us writing essays about how precious seventeen's friendship is <3 this is exactly where I want to be all the time ajdbaakak AAAAAAH I LOVEEEEE THAT MOMENT. op still hasn’t replied to me after i asked for permission to gif it </3 OOH have you seen in the soop?? the boochan heart to heart in that just aslfnjsdnfjk </33333333 😭 my new fave woozi svt querencia moment is during boo seungkwan's past life when woozi turns around and all of them are sitting there n he just LIGHTS. UP. Boo seungkwan's past life part 2 WHEN. (Also, what's your fave gose ep??)

and ajkfneskjdnfkjdfn it’s okay!! as you can see i have also spewed a whole bunch of stuff out so sorry for that 😖 BUT THAT IS SUCH A CUTE QUESTIONNNNN. i would love to show him everyone’s responses from the 2018 birthday survey i did!! words of affirmation is definitely a love language of his and everyone said such amazing things i almost cried reading them like you can tell people truly love and respect him and it’s what he deserves 😭 (i just had a mini scare bc i went to look for the survey results again and couldn’t find it but i did omg ajfhdskjfj). i’m reading through them again and i hope this is what he hears everyday @lee seokmin please know you are loved <3

[kyeomblr-remade]

hi hello, its your carat anon once again :)

I listened to all your recs. I actually know about half of them already bcs I actually have my own (kpop) disco/retro playlist already hahaha... and including BIBI in the recs>>>>>. I love her music, i think shes currently my fav female soloist. but i also thought lazybaby was a very fun song and i didnt know it, also love me 4 me had a very nice vibe. actually all were very nice.

about traveling... i currently dont travel at all. i think the last time i traveled anyway was fall 2019. i mean there a lot of places i want to visit but most of them need rather much preperation or/and planing as well as enough money hahaha and i currently have neither. Do you travel a lot? What are the top destinations on your bucket list?

about my bias in ptg... hahaha good questions i think thats the group i struggle with the most. i have a hard time with almost any group i stan but i cant even decide on sth like a bias line bcs i feel i love of them almost equally. i think there never was a group where i cared less about which pcs i got for my albums hahaha, i am happy about each member. maybe you can tell which ptg member vibes i give off and i will just stay with whoever as my official bias from then on (jk)(maybe not kidding)

my three fav things of my bias... well they probably will give it away but thats fine, it was nice keeping you guessing until now. first thing i really like about him is the passion and energy he puts into every performance of theirs, not only dancingwise but also vocalwise and everything (his dancing is everything tho). and the second thing i really like about him is that even tho it feel like hes one of the most ambitious members he does not take himself too seriously when needed in the given situation and can laugh about himself. and the third would have to be his incredibly positive mindset. he seems to always find reasons to motivate himself and the group even if everything seems to be going wrong.

what are the things you like most about seokmin?

also i noticed the next mission started already? the theme is gaming kind of. besides dont lie, what do you think are the best "game" episodes of gose? maybe your top 5 or sth? i think no matter what they play they always are hilarious.

as always i hope you are well <3 ok bye

hai ! <33 omg i would love to hear your retro playlist if you wanna share it !

oh yea im in the same boat ; really dont travel that much ! usually i go visit family abroad once a year; in norway, russia, the caucasus,.. but other than that i didn't get to explore much yet :-( like u said travelling is expensive, and the pandemic has made it sososo much more complicated. this trip was actually my first since the pandemic started oof ;; once this thing blows over and i have some money to spare i hope to visit south africa or new zealand once ! and explore europe more !! cause travelling here is so easy and convenient, i feel like im not taking advantage of that enough,,, i think it'd be fun to do a roadtrip around europe someday ^^ what about you?

aww yea the ptg boys are all super loveable and talented in their own ways,, i was swerving lanes all the time when i first got into them myself (until kino stole my heart in shine era <333) so im not faulting you 😌😌 then, do you maybe have a favorite pair dynamic?~ i adored maknae line’s interactions <33 and do you maybe have a favorite friendship in svt too?

HM OKAY SO !! hoshi was actually my second guess, after minghao, but im reading your description and it could be either hoshi or dino ? or maybe i completely missed the mark and its someone else, but judging from your emphasis on dance im 75% sure its a performance unit member (tho it is svt after all, they’re all great dancers) 🤔 from our interactions u definitely give me more horangdan vibe tho ! <3

what i like most about dokyeom,,, um we could be here all day 😳😳 but i would say, my absolute favorite thing about him is how sincere he is <3 i don’t know him personally so i obviously wont claim hes a pure angel who does no wrong ever, hes admitted it himself too, but i think it speaks to his charm when all his co-stars and colleagues go on and on about how hard working and lovely he is ! i get the impression that he genuinely wants to be kind and do good, and hes shown time and time again that he constantly strives to learn, grow and improve in his professional career and as an person too,,

i remember watching 17project when i first got into svt and i didn’t really have a bias at the time, but when dokyeom said that he “wants to sing until he loses his voice” i instantly knew he was the one. not cause i felt bad for him or pitied him, but i thought.. wow this kid's so young and despite all the setbacks hes still so determined and passionate, hes so cool :-( and um,,, sorry i just went on and on lmao but TL;DR yea idk i just think hes very neat <3

omg okay so it’s always a blast when they play mafia, obviously ! it’s one of my favorite games too; we play it w family all the time and i was a very dedicated town of salem player once upon a time lol i really loved bad clue too, basically any games where they have to solve something and/or put their thinking hats on, those are my favorites ! OH and insomnia,,, and the tag!! where they had to escape the murderer’s lair or something ! speaking of games, would you consider yourself a gamer?~

hope you’re well too, thank u <33

[yellowsreflection]

My bias in seventeen is vernon!!! I noticed you mentioned your bias to your carat anon!! I like woozi too!!! I really liked Loona's concept and the predebut tracks the members released!! I haven't kept up with them since debut but I think they're super cool!!! I'd love to talk more about the other groups!!! Especially verivery because one of the members just recently came off of mental health hiatus and released a special cover mv for the fans and his other members. It was super sweet 🥺🥺 - 💛

Vernon is in another frequency of life, he just vibes and I'm all for it, and woozi is like, so loving, you see him (playfully ) rejecting the members but one second later he is doing everything for them, he even created a whole narrative for spider (hoshi's solo mixtape, I recommend it, it has taemin vibes and the dance is like a whole thing that tells the whole narrative of the song by itself) were hoshi wasn't the spider so he could keep his tiger agenda. Man he is the softest for the members.

Loona concept is so amazing, I stand them since predebut, I feel out of the loop after the long hiatus before so what?, and I wasn't so much into so what? and why not?, but they had a comeback like a month ago and I really really liked it, plus they had left the whole concept of the loonaverse a little abandoned after butterfly (that's a whole another drama) but it seems they are bringing it back.

Tbh I don't really know about veryvery, but I would be glad to hear about them! Tell me whatever you like, who many members they have, how are they, what kind of sound they have, fun facts, whatever you want 💕

Is so nice seeing idols after they come from hiatus bc of mental health, they look different, like they shine more, not like stage wise but like themselves, they look like they fell in love with their jobs again, like they are genuinely enjoying themselves, and for him to release a cover is just so sweet and thoughtful.

Actually Loona's leader, haseul, also just came back from a mental health hiatus, she looks more happy than ever, she had such a hard road to debut, like, she was the 3rd girl so she had to wait a lot, and when mixnine was happening YG told her she wasn't cut for an idol, and just, so much stuff, is so nice seen her enjoying herself, she is even participating more on interviews and stuff, I actually didn't think she would come back, she had a really long hiatus, the kind of long that goes before ppl left their groups, I think it was like a year and a half with barely any news about her, so just seeing her back was amazing.

I'm rambling a lot, hope you don't mind, I tend to talk way to much

Anyways, hope you are having a nice day, or night 💕

[cheolbooluvr]

precisely! and i love that it's such a contrast to his looks? like he's one of those intimidatingly handsome guys who are super angular and who u would worry about being judgemental, but like watch him off stage even a little and you find out that he is quite silly and very playful and I'm a big fan of that contrast haha. plus he looks fun to play video games with!!!! and he does seem like the perfect friend to make in college!

i won't feel pressured i promise hehe! I just wanted to bring it up so I could sprinkle feedback in these messages! and ugh tell me about it haha. who would've thought it could be so difficult to sit down and focus on one thing but it really can be sometimes. oh I don't mind telling u! I don't think it would spoil too much since there are plenty of creatives on here hehe. I'm also a writer and I make gifs on the side, although I've only posted them publicly on my other, non kpop blog hahaha. my kpop gifs I usually just make so I can yell at my friends abt particular parts... like juns first dance part in hitorijanai...

it does make a lot of sense! and like why wouldn't you write what you know, especially when it comes to mcs! and i mean that's entirely up to you! there's nothing wrong with sticking to what you know and what you're good at, but it can be an interesting exercise to try new things as well, haha.

hehe that genuinely warms me. seungkwan is someone I have a soft spot for and I always tend to find that his stans are a lot like him to at least some degree. would u want to meet him if u had the opportunity? like through those online fansigns or whatever? 0:

either a volcano or ill fight him in the parking lot of a fast food place im honestly not picky :P but I'll send u an invite so u can rvsp with your helicopter ❤ and its true HAHA one of my favourite English interviews is that buzzfeed one where they split into two teams which literally were team everybody loves Dino and team everybody bullies mingyu like he gets picked on so much... the little jokingly pained smile he has is so funny sjdjddhf

haha omg i totally had the spamming experience too, but it was even before I got into svt and it was kpop as a whole... my friend would just send me a ton of mvs and id be like their cool!!!! but idk when something switched in my brain and then it became my main hyperfixation haha. it is cool how many like... carats in later years became fans through going seventeen though, like I feel like it is a testament to how entertaining seventeen can be on stage and technically off it as well! relatedly, do you have a favourite going seventeen episode? omg learning members of a kpop group for someone else feels like a love language hahaha. I remember back when I didn't know seventeen all that well I would continuously mix up mingyu and wonwoo, as well as hoshi and minghao...

see that's really cute haha I feel like it's a more often people bias hop before coming to their bias but u had a full on I didn't choose my bias my bias chose me moment with seungkwan. and 👀 u need to tell me who ur bias wreckers are now

see i think my first bias was jeonghan? but I had many phases lmao like there was a wonwoo phase, a woozi phase, a seungcheol phase... and it wasn't until boom boom came out and there's the first solo shot of minghao in that mv and I remember going, 'wow, he really is something' and now he's my ult who i would still fight if I could haha. there's even a running joke amongst my (non kpop) friends where i call him the hate of my life. as for wreckers, technically Jun is my bias wrecker but I feel like the term bias wrecker is associated with u wanting to fight them to some degree?????????? but I cannot even fathom fighting Jun he is just a sweet silly catboy 😔 hoshi is next on the list of bias wreckers tho the same thing does not apply since I would fight him most days he is so much. and I can never remember the exact time frame but!!! Its been at least four years? I've been here for a little bit, you could say haha

(this feels like such a long message I am so sorry djdhskhffhd)

- 😺 carat anon

don't apologize for the long message!! i love it <3 but i am gonna put the rest of my answer under the cut, hehe ^^

wonwoo is SO silly like what- i totally agree w you, i think all of svt is so intimidating on stage, but off stage, just absolute goofballs.

eep feedback is so appreciated :''{ sry not to be a debbie downer but i feel like i don't get much feedback on my fics so any and all feedback is appreciated T^T eep you make gifs!! do you have any tips?? i try to make gifs for my fics, but photoshop is so hard when it comes to that, or maybe it's just my computer can't handle it but aklfjalkdf

but you're a writer too!! i wonder if i know you already then hmm but you know what? i'm not gonna think abt it too much ahaha

but JUN!!! IN HITORIJANAI!!! CRIES

anyways......yeah i want to try pushing myself however i can as a writer! i tend to gravitate towards romance, but i would like to explore other genres as well just to try it out! it might not work super well, but i don't want to feel like i'm limiting myself agshdjdkf lemme get off my soapbox real quick

seungkwan truly is my anchor, i look at him and i just...i just feel at peace w him 😭 tbh tho i am way too shy to ever do a fansign so as much as i would love to meet him irl, i just do not think that is in my future LOL

whichever venue you choose, seungkwan and i are THERE ! mingyu truly does get thrown around like a rag doll lol bless his poor heart 🥲

wahhh so i've been listening to kpop for YEARS and so when svt debuted, i was like ugh TOO MANY members, but then my friend got into them and then i did too and I ALWAYS got mingyu and wonwoo confused too!! funnily enough, back in 2015, i distinctly remember woozi and and vernon's names but then i just never did anything w that information LOL

but yeah honestly totally a love language!!! i learned them bc i lowkey got fomo that she would talk abt dk this and hoshi that and wonwoo whatever and i'd be like.....ok coool??????? i had no idea who those ppl were lol but yeah now look at me.

fave gose has to be the don't lie series, but 1 and 2 have special places in my heart. and boo's past life destiny 😭 and mystery mystery too ugh actually there's just so many like mousebusters???? was so funny, the way jun's laugh just gave me the most serotonin ever!!

but yeah, seungkwan rly said, hey i'm your bias now and i was like okay cool hey bestie 🤷‍♀️ and he's never changed. like ever. i call him my forever boo bc of that ^^

but yeah talk abt phases, i took a break from stan twt back in like...March? went to bed one night, woke up, and suddenly, i was an 8star. like minghao came out of nowhere and now he's 4th on my list (after seungcheol/mingyu who are tied for 2nd lol) but actually minghao was one of the first members i remembered, bc his face was so distinct to me!! honestly bias wrecker for me is just like, the ppl who others might mistake as your bias? i think? honestly i have no idea i just say it lmfao but ahhh that's so awesome that you've been supporting them for that long! a part of me definitely wishes i stanned them when they debuted, but i'm here now :)

[leevalentin]

Jets football is back! That's right NFL kicked off last Thursday to boos 

Not that kind of booze

The kind of boos you hear when conservatives see men Unite 

For the Jets it's never too early for boos especially after Sunday's performance against the Bills 

Just when I was feeling good about life here come the New York Football Jets to ruin me

New York Jets GM Joe Douglas says the team is angered by low expectations

You've been with the team 2 years and you're already complaining? Try being a fan 40 years

The only thing lower than my expectations are Le'Veon Bell's yards per carry

Luckily for him tho, his rap album did numbers 

Here's something Joe Douglas should be angered by, Jets have more Quarterbacks on the roster than healthy WRs

Hopefully one of those Quarterbacks can play Wide Receiver

Cause Pretty soon Sam Darnold is just gonna be throwing to himself

With all the Quarterbacks on the roster, It appears Adam Gase is designing a new offensive set called the What would  Peyton Manning do

Fans are hoping all 5 Quarterbacks can Just End The Season

The Jets started the season with just a handful of healthy wide receivers and three tight ends

And throughout Jets history there's no end tighter than Brandon Moore's 

The Jets have so many injuries at Wide Receiver that Braxton Berrios skipped practice because he was afraid to get hurt

The injury list at Wide Receiver is so long, it reads like a list of things you can buy with a PPP Loan…

Speaking of which Former Jets WR Josh Bellamy was released right into the hands of the feds who charged him in a $24 million coronavirus loan scheme

Bellamy allegedly received more than $1.2 million dollars in loans for his company Drip Entertainment LLC  which was spent mostly on DRIP from Gucci and Dior

Hopefully some of that money drips into his commissary

The thing I love most about this is that he's not selfish. He genuinely tried to put his family on. 

That's like a classy hood sou sou

How you proposition your friends and family for something like that?

Son, remember the insurance scams from back in the day? We about to 10X that shit

Fortunately, none of that money was used to purchase the drip for Mekhi Becton's Big Ticket medallion The chain cost 175 thousand, it has a kilo of gold and 120 carats of flawless white diamonds 

The chain is good for one admission to the pawn shop when that Rookie Contract is up 

175 thousand is a lot of money. You know what I could do with 175 thousand? I can pay people to watch this channel

A few weeks ago, clueless New York Jets owner Woody Johnson, who also serves as President Donald Trump's ambassador to the United Kingdom, was investigated by the State Department for allegedly making racist and sexist comments

I say allegedly, but you know when Kamala Harris was chosen as Biden's VP Woody Johnson was like, ‘When I go to the White house, there's gonna be a bunch of black bitches there?’

That story just disappeared faster than an Adam Gase offense

The State Department called him a "valued member of the team" and added: "We stand by Ambassador Johnson and look forward to him continuing to ensure our special relationship with the UK.

This is sounds just like the vote of confidence his brother Christopher Johnson has given to his head coach

Granted, Gase has never publicly said anything racist or sexist but his play calling is offensive

Mike Greenberg, dressed like Morris Day going to an Apollonia 6 concert tore into Christopher Johnson on Get Up after Johnson made some whack ass statement about Adam Gase having a brilliant offensive mind

Has Christopher Johnson not watched ANY of the games? I know it’s hard to watch games with all that baby oil money stacked in front of the TV But what is he watching?

It literally looks like Adam Gase is calling plays designed by Ted Lasso's waterboy… and that’s disrespectful to the waterboy because at least they scored

I’m against people losing their job but, people lose their job every day B, he be aight 

[woozifi]

I WENT TO THE TORONTO DIAMOND EDGE CONCERT AND THIS WAS MY EXPERIENCE

ok first of all it honestly didn’t even hit me that this was ACTUALLY HAPPENING

then the lights dimmed & svt was thERE and i realized holy fucking shit this was real i’m seeing them in reAL LIFE HOLY SHIT

let me tell you, they are all fucking STUNNING. they look like they do in all the pictures/music videos except IN PERSON and it was incredible, they all had perfect skin and looked absolutely gorgeous

my friends and i had seats pretty up close (in row F) but on the far right so we saw everything from a weird angle, luckily we had aisle seats so i had some space to see, but i mostly ended up focusing on the members dancing closer to our side of the stage

they introduced themselves and i lost my shit at every single one of them

hoshi was so hyper god bless him he was jumping all over the place and fooling around and had so much energy i was so happy to see that, he did the whole “what time is it” and everyone shrieked “10:10″ it was amazing

IF YOU DIDN’T THINK I WAS LOSING MY SHIT SEEING WOOZI IRL WITH THAT GORGEOUS LOWKEY FADING RED HAIR YOU THOUGHT WRONG, HE WAS SMALL BUT BREATHTAKING

they were definitely pretty tired, though. seokmin was laughing and having fun on stage but he was pretty subdued at some parts, and jun and wonwoo were too. i think jun had a headache or something, poor thing

ok but the songs tho

it was so insane?? like they just went song after song and barely had time to take a breath except for when they changed into different outfits

vocal unit’s songs were performed in snazzy suits and they were lounging on thrones and shit with lightning and bats in the background i never would have thought their stage would be a BROODING VAMPIRE CONCEPT but here it is and i want to draw the shit outta that

hip hop unit was so fucking good, i didn’t film a single second of their mixtapes bc me and my friend nush were too busy jamming tf out. it was so funny, everyone around us was just kinda screaming and filming it but you see us assholes by the aisle getting hyped

seungcheol was being a rude ass motherfucker the ENTIRE time, running his hands through his hair and having it all messy and shit, holy crap he was so hot i lost my entire soul when he went close to our side of the stage

VERNON’S STAGE PRESENCE THO, LIKE BOTH HE AND HOSHI HAD THE BEST STAGE PRESENCE

wonwoo is SO SKINNY, i don’t think i can call minghao a scarecrow anymore bc at least he’s buffing up his arms, wonwoo was a fucking beanpole and i probably could lift him over my head

performance unit was sO good!!! they performed everything i ever wanted to hear. they started off with oh my god & i lost it, then proceeded to lose it further with swimming fool, highlight, and my i

holy shit, my i. holy shIT

this probably isn’t in order, by the way, the entire night is a blur

they had a brief intermission of sorts where they showed us pictures of svt as kids and it was sO CUTE. i was dying at seokmin’s though bc they just had that pic of him in like middle school or smth with that dumb hair and dumb glasses but they shoWED IT TWICE JUST WITH DIFFERENT FILTERS I WAS CRYING

anyways they said they’d give us a “hot stage” and i was immediately like yes yes yes yes yes idc what you’re giving us i WANT IT

and they perfORMED ROCK I WAS LOSING IT I COULDN’T BELIEVE ITTTT

they also performed chuck and it was so cute bc afterwards soonyoung was trying to teach us the “CHUCK CHUCK BRRRRR CHUCK” move and it was absolutely adorable

anyways when vernon started to say “it’s the end of the concert” i got so shook bc it literally felt like the concert just started??? the entire concert itself was like 2 hours but it didn’t feel like it at all!

but they performed don’t wanna cry and then an encore of shining diamond and healing and it was lovely

we had a special project where during healing we held up banners and shit and they looked genuinely so surprised and touched

like vernon and josh kept repeating how touched they were, and mingyu looked like he might start crying, and seungkwan was really close to my side of the stage and you could see how his eyes were shining and how bright his smile is, like they were all so heartfelt and humble and kept talking about how much they enjoyed the concert and how happy they were to be here and how they want to come back to toronto as soon as possible

it was that exact moment where i realized i fucking love svt so much and i sold my entire life to them

this was supposed to be one concert i can splurge on and then never again, but after seeing that i decided my wallet can fucking deal with it

anyways the hi touch went by so fast i was a little disappointed, like u rlly didn’t have time to do anything but maybe blurt out an “i love you” to every member and give them a hi five

like honestly, unless it was like the kcon hi touch where you actually HELD their hands and got a couple seconds with each of them them, i don’t think i can believe anybody who says they managed to utter out even a sentence and get a response back from them, our security kept pushing us through and shouting to us that “it’s a high five not a handshake” 

they were all even more gorgeous up close!!! the first one was chan and he had the sweetest smile but you could tell the poor baby was tired

and then not in order bc i can’t remember SHIT, but i remember jun and mingyu looking tall and gorgeous, and seungcheol smiled and touched my hand sO softly with his hair falling into his eyes jesus christ

ok but seungkwan??? actual angel. everyone says you can tell how much he loves and appreciates all of us carats and they’re all absolutely fucking right.

i’m so sad that i didn’t get the chance to say anything more to even josh or vernon who might understand me, i was so overwhelmed and rushed i could only say “thank you” to all of them dfgpaegpe i should have told them how much i loved them

ANYWAYS WHEN I GOT TO WOOZI I WANTED TO DIE, I COMMITTED EVERY FEATURE TO MEMORY, HIS EYE MAKEUP MADE HIM LOOK SO SOFT AND HE SMILED AT ME WHEN I THANKED HIM AND I WAS SO SHOOK

seokmin and jeonghan were right after him and i completely forgot about them both bc i was so shook by jihoon, i’m so sorry seokmin i’m so sad i can’t remember you (i think he was really tired too tho)

minghao was last and he gave me that adorable smile with his cute ass button nose and i WANTED TO CRY

so yeah my left hand touched all of their hands and one day i want to go to a concert that has an event where i can really talk to them all for a couple of seconds, i just want to be able to tell them how much i appreciate them for everything they do for us

SOME HIGHLIGHTS OF THE NIGHT

there’s some drama going around on twitter right now where soonyoung apparently threw shade at the fans mobbing them at pearson airport but idk if it’s actually true or not, it was hard for me to hear where i was standing but i knew for a fact that the translator was pretty terrible lmao he couldn’t keep up with svt at all

there was a disabled fan in a wheelchair up in the front on our side of the stage and they were all so sweet, they always smiled and waved at her, especially seungkwan and soonyoung

they really made sure that everyone felt noticed, they made sure to look around and wave at everyone in the balconies and shit too

jeonghan was an absolute angel???? he really made sure us carats on the far right of the stage felt appreciated, he took a lot of time to come close to our side and wave at all of us i wanted to cry

mingyu was really good with waving at us too, he’s tall and skinnier than i expected but an actual darling. my pal nush has a video where they were all lined up and he looked almost rIGHT AT HER and waved just as she was moving the camera to film her man junhui she was dying on the train this morning when she found out lmao

seungkwan too!!!

i blew a kiss at seungkwan when he was kinda looking in our direction and he smiled and wagged his finger and i thINK IT WAS IN RESPONSE TO ME??? IDK IF IT WAS REALLY BECAUSE OF ME BUT I WAS DEAD ANYWAY BOO SHOT UP MY BIAS LIST SO FUCKING FAST BECAUSE OF THAT

anyways i can’t believe that happened and i’m emotionally exhausted and dead, it was such a fantastic experience and i can’t wait to do it again someday

[ajuimaginary]

Soulmate Woozi

Part of the Seventeen Soulmate Series

In a world where everyone has every lie their soulmate will ever tell them written on their body, people tend to stare a little when someone looks almost blank. Unfortunately, you happen to be one of those people. And summer is the worst: shorts and t-shirts increasing how obvious it is.

You’re used to eyes turning your way: used to the specific considering look even people you’ve known for a while sometimes get on their face, scanning your body as if seeking a mark. Usually, you glance them over at the same time, easily seeing the lines of ink-like writing, peppering arms, extending up the sides of necks, peaking through the knees of ripped jeans.

“Wow, your soulmate must be pretty honest?” someone asks you on a day when you’re particularly tired. “Do you have any marks at all?”

You want to retort “at least I don’t have a cliche lie like yours” when you see the turn of their shoulder marked with “of course you don’t look fat.” It’s one of your least favorite lies, so pointless, so insincere, and worst of all implying there’s something wrong with extra weight in the first place. But you maintain politeness, because you don’t want to expose how worried and bitter you feel about the hidden lie written over your own heart.

“I have one.” you say instead.

“What is it?” apparently they can’t contain their curiosity.

But you just shake your head and turn your face away, unwilling to share.

At night, alone in your room, you hitch up your shirt and stare at your single lie, printed bold across the place where your heart is, and you trace the letters with disbelief. The one lie your soulmate will say to you. 

I love you.

It’s written in Korean, actually. But you had it translated when you were still very young. You know what it says. And it terrifies you. Why would a soulmate ever say those words and be lying about it?

You learned Korean during your teenage years despite your hesitance and worry, to ensure you had a language in common. You almost didn’t want to meet your soulmate if that was what they would say to you. But at the same time, you knew the universe had a way of working out. And there was a chance you had misinterpreted something. There was a chance it was out of context and wasn’t really quite so awful as it seemed. And after all, they were your soulmate. 

And you couldn’t help liking your soulmate already. You liked that they seemed to be very honest- after all, you had often been drawn to honest people. Your best friend was one of them. She wasn’t afraid to say what was on her mind, and if she wasn’t ready to share her thoughts, rather than tell a lie, she would say nothing. 

She found her own soulmate near the end of high school. 

Your school was big enough that there were some people in your year that neither of you had really talked to before. One of them was a tall gangly boy with a sweet smile and an almost blank body like your own. You had exchanged smiles with him in the hall because of that, actually, and knew your best friend thought he was cute, but none of you had properly interacted.

Until, during the last week before you all graduated, he was standing nearby and suddenly dropped his pen, sending it skittering toward you and your best friend. He stumbled over and picked it up. And then, while looking up at your friend with red cheeks, he said “sorry- didn’t mean to do that.” 

Her eyes widened  as if she’d been stung, she laughed, and she pulled up her sleeve. The words were written on her arm (sorry- didn’t mean to do that), and now, having been said to her, they had faded instantly to the color of an old scar, ink black gone.

“Seems like a clever excuse to finally talk to me,” she teased him. 

And just like that, she had found him.

You tried not to be jealous. They really were perfect together. You were happy for them. And you got on well with him too. He was very kind hearted, and understood what it was like to be stared at because of your lack of marks. The three of you were a close knit group in no time. 

But you still couldn’t help the dread that came along with knowing your meeting with your soulmate probably wouldn’t be so perfect and so easy. 

Your best friend’s soulmate was Korean, and a fan of K-Pop, so as a result, your friend’s interest in the music began to grow too. The two of them liked a few different groups, and told you bits about them, and because you were learning Korean for the sake of your own soulmate, you decided to try giving it a listen as well. It turned out you liked a lot of the songs. Even more so when they introduced you to a group called Seventeen.

You couldn’t work out what it was about them, but the song writing felt like it was really speaking to you. Everything about the way the music pulled together was flawless and tugged right at your heart. 

You were busy with school and your language learning a lot of the time, so you didn’t necessarily have the time to become fully invested in all the members (unlike your friend and her soulmate, who knew all of their names alongside the other groups they enjoyed), but you had seen some of their videos, appreciated the pink haired boy in Adore U, admired the choreography too. Your friend also liked to show you things on her phone you would appreciate.

“You know how you like the Seventeen member who does most of the song writing and composing?” she asks you one day.

“Yeah. Woozi, right?” you don’t know all their names well yet.

“That’s the one!” she says. “Look at this.”

It’s a post-it from a fan sign, where he’s been asked to define his sense of beauty. His answer is that “beauty lies in honesty.” 

You smile, nod in agreement. 

“Aw, I like that,” you say. “That’s really sweet.”

When the three of you finish college, you decide to take a trip overseas together. Considering their interest in K-Pop, the fact that there are family members of your best friend’s soulmate you could stay with for cheaper accommodation, and your own growing fluency in Korean (plus your tiny fluttering hope that you might meet your soulmate) you all unanimously decide to go to Korea. 

It’s a great trip. And on one of your lazy days in Seoul (which you set aside as a time to just wing it and see what you felt like doing) your friends manage to find three tickets last minute tickets into a Seventeen fansign off a girl who can’t go anymore. They ask you to come with them even if you’re not as invested, and since you like the music, and know you have things you could say to each member, complimenting voices, or dancing, or especially Woozi’s song writing, you decide you may as well go along. After all, you aren’t doing anything else today...

-

Jihoon has been having a genuinely awful day. As much as he loves his job, he does get those days, every now and then. He scratches a lie on his wrist (I’m fine), adjusts his shirt sleeve over it, frowns in the mirror to see that his make up is okay, and then lets out a long sigh. 

“Jihoon?” Seungcheol’s voice calls, with a cursory knock before the leader steps into the bathroom. “The sign’s about to start, so you might want to come gather.”

“I know.” Jihoon snaps. Seungcheol raises an eyebrow.

“How much sleep did you get last night?” he asks.

“Almost three hours.” Jihoon sighs. And then, thinking over it for a minute, realizes he was just rather rude. “Sorry, I’m a bit sharp today, aren’t I?”

“It’s fine. We get why. So long as you don’t get grumpy with the Carats.”

“Of course I won’t get grumpy with the Carats.” Jihoon sighs. “I’m just- eruh- it’s not a good time. Come on. Let’s get this over and done with.”

He pastes on his fake smile for Seungcheol to see. The leader shakes his head worriedly and offers a comforting pat on his shoulder, and then they join the other boys in time to head out onto the stage for the fansign. It’s going to be a long day.

Jihoon does love his fans. He really does. But running on so little sleep, not having eaten a proper lunch yet, and having spent the night before dealing with some security issue of a rather invested stalker trying to steal his personal mail from outside the Seventeen dorms, that love feels a little dull. A little bitter. 

The sign begins, the line starts to move past, and using all his energy, Jihoon is able to settle into his usual self on the outside. He’s pretty sure no one can notice the exhausted edge to everything and the fact that his mind is elsewhere. 

At the other end of the table, you’ve just started making your way down the line. 

It’s nice to meet some of the stars you’ve begun to admire so much, and they’re all very friendly, and very impressed when they find out Korean is your second language, but you speak it so well. 

By this point, Jihoon is fully in robot mode, totally detached from his real feelings. And then you reach him. You slide your book to be signed, and he doesn’t look up when you first greet him.

“Hi, Woozi, it’s so nice to meet you,” you say, smiling. “It seems unfair to the others when I say this, but you’re actually my favorite.”

“Oh, thank you,” Jihoon says with as much cheer as he can muster, in the middle of writing his name.

“I really love your music.”

“Ah, that’s very sweet, I love you.” he says, finally looking up.

The first thing that impacts him is how surprisingly pretty you are- somehow managing to tick every one of his boxes for what he finds attractive. Even boxes he didn’t know he had. His eyes widen a little.

And then right in front of him, right as he finishes his sentence and your eyes first meet, you gasp out an almost pained noise and clutch your chest. Jihoon half stands, hovering in concern like he thinks you’re about to pass out. 

“Are you alright?” He asks helplessly.

Without thinking, you’re popping open a couple of buttons on your shirt so you can feel the air against a weird stinging on your skin.

“I’m fine,” you lie as you touch your fingers to the area right over your heart, cogs in your head turning, realizing the spot that just stung you is your one and only soulmate mark.

Jihoon suddenly lets out a pained hiss of breath, face scrunching, and his right hand flies to clutch his left wrist.

You both freeze, in sync, minds catching up with the situation and the connection at the exact same time. Jihoon’s gaze falls to your chest, where the edge of his words, his throwaway line of I love you, is written on your skin, turned the faint color of a scar now that the lie has been told. Your eyes are on the wrist where his fingers are rubbing his own stung skin. Your words are written there. I’m fine. 

And then you look up at each other.

“Oh my god.” you say.

“You’re my soulmate.” Jihoon breathes.

And then the rest of the world seems to start moving again. 

The commotion you caused was enough that everyone is looking at you now. The  staff at the fansign step up to you, asking quietly if you want to come to the waiting room in the back so you can meet Jihoon properly when he finishes. All of the members are gaping in your direction. Some of the ones you already met are beaming in delight. Seungcheol is standing up a couple of people down, eyes flickering between you and Woozi, looking like he wants to take charge and say something. A little further along, Seungkwan seems to be having the same thought.

You don’t get to hear how the fansign continues. You’re ushered out of the back door, still not even having spoken to your soulmate. Not even having had a chance to touch him. You look back over your shoulder right before the door closes, and meet eyes with him, staring after you stunned and completely lost in a daze, so handsome it makes your heart pick up speed. You had admired him before, of course, but in person, he still managed to blow you away.

And then the door closes.

The staff shuffle around you as they find you a seat in the waiting room back there. Most of them are very nice, though some seem annoyed at the interruption. They don’t have time to readjust the whole schedule, and tell you Woozi will just have to cope with finishing the day. Poor thing.

Then they all end up going back out to the sign, apart from one particularly lovely woman. She talks through some details with you. Having an idol as a soulmate is complicated. Apparently usually, when one discovers their soulmate, they get to know each other in secret (or adjust to their new connection after having already known each other) before making a public announcement together to break the news to the fans in the best way. Fans tend to be happy for them, used to the Universe being something they can’t interrupt. 

However, in your case, because you discovered the connection in front of a bunch of fans, fansite cameras clicking away behind you, you would have to make the announcement over V Live that afternoon. Right away. 

The staff are relieved to find out you have nothing else on your schedule for the day.

And then finally, they leave you alone, to wait for Jihoon’s return, and to absorb what just happened. You send off texts to your family to let them know. You respond to some screaming texts from your best friend, who you realize got to see the whole thing from one seat over, sitting in front of Jeonghan. 

It’s a while before Jihoon gets to come meet you. When he does, he announces his presence with a tentative knock at the door. You can tell it must be him right away, rather than the staff, who come in and out with more confidence. You swallow a tense lump in your throat before calling out “Come in!”

Jihoon swings open the door. 

He looks gorgeous and stressed all at once. His hair (dyed an endearing sort of a lime color) is slightly disheveled from running his fingers through. His sleeve is still unbuttoned, revealing his wrist. The whole outfit, with it’s tight jeans and tucked in look, accentuates the grace in shape of his compact frame. Your cheeks heat instantly at the sight.

“Hello,” he says stiffly, eyes meeting yours, and then darting to the floor, shy.

“Hi, Woozi, I’m sorry, I- I forget what you real name is.” you can hear how stammering and stunned your own voice sounds. 

“Jihoon.” he says, stepping forward, and finally managing to hold your gaze. “I’m Lee Jihoon. What- what’s your name?”

“Oh, sorry, I’m Y/N.” you say, offering a hand to shake immediately. 

He looks a little bemused by the gesture, but he shakes your hand, swallows, and then clears his throat.

“I’m sorry I-” he nods his head to your still unbuttoned shirt, and you blush when you realize how much skin is exposed. “I do love my fans, really. It wouldn’t usually be a lie. But today has been... very hard. I was too grumpy and it made me insincere. I’m sorry I gave you an awful lie like that. ”

“It was a little hard to walk around with.” you laugh, and the sound of it melts tension from his shoulders. “But I don’t mind anymore, Jihoon. Not now that I’ve met you. And besides, it’s the only one I have. The only lie.”

“Really?” Jihoon smiles. “I always knew I wanted to be honest with you. I never wanted to hide anything from you.”

“How many lies do you have?” you ask.

“Only five.” Jihoon tells you. It’s a pretty small number too. “I’ll show them all to you later, I’m sure.”

You reach out, and your fingers brush the lie on his wrist. The one you just told him. He jumps a little at the contact, and then smiles. Your first two fingers land right against his pulse, you stepping closer, in his personal space. He watches your face as you read the words written there.

“I can’t believe this is real.” you say, turning your eyes to his.

You see his breath hitch in his throat again.

“I- I know.” he murmurs. “You’re- uh- you’re incredibly beautiful. I- I didn’t expect that.”

And you know his isn’t lying when he says it. Somehow, the reassurance of that sets something warm off inside you. Your affection for him seems to triple by the minute already.

“Thanks, Jihoon. So are you.” you answer, sincere and awed. Silence begins to stretch. You feel the need to explain yourself. “I, um, I’m actually here today because of my friends, mostly. They’re huge fans. I’m more of a casual fan, but I- something about the music always drew me in. And you were my favorite. Always. I love what you write- what you compose. I admired your spirit. And y-your face too. I guess now I know why.”

Jihoon smiles.

“You know, I wrote every love song thinking of you.” his face is a furious shade of red when he says it, but he gets the words out. “Thinking of meeting you in the future. Thinking of the life we might live together. You’re already more than I even imagined.”

He clears his throat, his eyes drift to your lips, then back up. Your breath catches. You can see the weight of the decision in his dark irises. The slight smirk pushing past his shyness. With a sudden confidence, he cups your cheek, and pulls you in, joining your lips together in the most mind blowing kiss- firm, certain, and somehow speaking of what the future might bring. 

When he pulls away, his smile breaks over his face, and your own beaming happiness bursts out to match.

“Y/N,” he says. Then he pauses a long time. Like saying your name was enough for him. “I’m sorry this will be such a long day for you-”

“I don’t mind!”

“- But are you ready to meet the members now?”

You laugh, feeling suddenly shyer, even though Jihoon has grown more bold. He clasps your hand in his, and with the other he brushes the hair at your temples as you duck your head. 

“I guess so?” you say tentatively.

“I promise they aren’t scary.” Jihoon says. “Don’t tell them this, but I love them more than anyone in the world. They’re the family I always asked for. I know they’ll be nothing but happy for us. And they already adore you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I mean, you’re my soulmate, aren’t you? And the ones who got to meet you earlier can’t stop bragging to the others.”

You laugh. Somehow, he already knows how to reassure you. In a simple, straight-forward manner so very suited to him.

“Okay,” you say. “I’m ready.”

So Jihoon yells out.

“Hey, I know you guys are hovering at the door! Get in here and meet Y/N!”

And as the door bursts open and the room erupts in chaos, Jihoon’s gentle, solid hand, his warm weight at your side, let you know that everything in your life is falling into place.