#i come from a very long proud line of funky lil guys

[plantsssssblog]

hey heres a fun story, im in charge of mics for a drama club thing and when i was just starting out I went to go learn how to do my new job and the person took one look at me and asked “you autistic?” and that was my very first impression of one of my favorite people <3

everyone say thanks to the four bears that gave you autism today

[eerythingisshaka]

Death of a Bachelor

(Erik Killmonger POV)

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: sSmutSs, fuckboyness

A/N:  Possible new series?  So hear me out, this was inspired by the movie Alfie, the Michael Caine version is the only one I seen.  But Erik is going to experience four, maybe five women, each very different from the next.  He’s having fun with them but at some point he’s going to have to tighten up on some of his ways, whether it’s with a lucky lady from the five, or by his damn self.  I also just wanted to do a smut since I haven’t in a minute and no one is gettin any in my series’ (also I may have some residual hormones that I can’t work out right now because nature doesn’t want me to have any pleasure this week, so I’m getting it out here). The one time my mama asks me what I’m writing about and it’s THIS, smh. First POV of a character, so hopefully his spirit comes across here.

I swear God had a sense of humor making a nigga like me.  The average man woulda been shot his on brains out with the bullshit I have had to deal with in my life.  I’m not goin into all my childhood shit right now, that psychology and repressed emotions bull never rocked with me for real.  Nah, I’m talkin bout my life right here, right now.  People just won’t leave me the hell alone!

So boom, it’s like this.  I like to take care of myself.  I do my cardio every Monday, Wednesday, Saturday.   That can be runnin, boxin, some P90X or whatever the fuck to keep me on my toes.  I do weight training Tuesday, Thursday, Friday, doublin up when I feel like it with my cardio days; lightwork, you feel me?  All that to say ya boy is stacked.  You couldn’t put no more muscle on this 6’0 frame if you tried, took a damn long time but I finally got my shit filled out right.

And I’m proud of my shit, gotta double back by the mirror every so often just to catch myself lookin.  I ain’t narcissistic or nothin, but fuck you if you think I should be humble, I earned this.  

I say all that to say it’s funny how people think they entitled to your time just because you give em some dick every other visit.  Females will tell you different, but they just as thirsty as niggas these days.  I go out the gym, fresh from a shower in my wife beater and sweats, right?  I got my shades on cuz I’m not tryna socialize, just get my protein powder and jet.  

What they do?  Stare at me walkin past the produce section, holdin they bananas in a daze, fuckin me with they eyes!  On one hand, I’m cool with it, like I said I work for this body to be admired.  Bitches love feelin on my stomach and chest while I dig them out, clawing my back when my shit too deep for em.  But then I say good morning, and they ass wanna look at me funky and go about they business!  Like I bothered them with some eye fuckin!  Bitch if you don’t go on somewhere witcho thirsty ass!  Maybe my approach is off, but fuck that, I know what you were thinkin bout, and that don’t require much introduction to get to.

That’s a good sign for me though, cuz I know they gon run off to they little friends talking bout, “Girl, this fine ass nigga said Hi to me at the grocery store today.  Bitch, I hope I see him again, I might have to fuck him right on the tomatoes!”  I know them!  They act proud, but they don’t wanna come off hoeish.

Lemme see you be a hoe!  I cannot stress that enough!  There’s an artform to it though, don’t go comin up on me, rubbin my ass and whisperin in my ear (depends on the location and time of day though for that).  Shit, come up to me and say hi for once!  Being the aggressor gets tired after a while.  See, when a baby girl come up to me, smilin all confident and shit like she holdin the meanin to life between her legs, askin me who I am and what she wants, NIGGA!  You ain’t said nothin but a word, ma!

That’s how I got involved with this one girl, Venice, like that town in Italy.  She a real cute redbone, bout 5’5 wears these red bottom heels everyday (at least she has em one whenever I see her...never takes em off).  She work as a paralegal, so she gotta wear blazers, skirts, or pantsuits, which I don’t always find sexiest but the way she gets em tailored to her body, whew man, it’s almost porno levels of ridiculous but that’s just cuz how thicc she is.  Bitch can’t help it!

I go to this deli shop on lunch sometimes and she was in line with her phone glued to her eyeballs, so I knew she wasn’t wantin to be fucked around with.  I respect a woman’s boundaries, you ain’t gotta tell me twice to go the fuck on somewhere.  But tell me why when I’m pickin up pastrami on rye, ready to smash that thing I hear her behind me talkin bout, “I took you as more of a footlong type of guy.”  If that ain’t no damn innuendo I don’t know what the fuck is.  I’m lookin at her like she gotta be jokin, but damn her with that fuckin smile.  She smelt good too, like coconut and fresh laundry, she was clean clean.  She tried to hide her lil joke talmbout “I meant you so look like you workout, your meal just don’t match the appetite I envisioned.”  So I ask her if she been envisioning in more ways than one and that got her cackling real quick, touchin on me like we old classmates reuniting.  Long story short, we exchanged numbers and I get a text at the end of the day askin me to pull up to her job and next thing I know, we fuckin on her desk.  She loud as fuck too.  The building seemed like it was cleared out but damn, the police coulda been called for all she was doin.  The pussy was fire though, almost had me losin my shit.  She keeps it clean, except for some hair across the top of her pussy like a toupee.  She likes to ride it though, that probably has to do with her profession, wantin power over people.  Soon as she start cummin though, she a damsel in distress needin her Superman to finish things off.

So I been fuckin with her for a little over a month now.  It’s real causal, we meet more after dark than in the daytime.  It’s fun, I ain’t had to jackoff too much cuz she seems to work with my shit like  circadian rhythm or whatever.  Soon as I felt my shit gettin hard, my phone light up.  

Tonight wasn’t no different.  I was working out late that night, finishing a couple of miles on the treadmill when a notification interrupts my music.  I look at my phone and it’s a picture of her hand spreading her pussy lips out.  Damn, purple and pink were my favorite colors.  I had to hit the emergency stop so I didn’t bust my face on the machine.  I let her know I would be there in a hour, she says to make it 30 minutes.

This is when I have a problem with her, she think she run me!  If I tell her I can’t come today, she says she can help with that.  I tell her I’m tired, she say I don’t have to do shit but lay there.  I was outta town once, and she still not satisfied until I get her on FaceTime so she can see me jackoff while she play with herself.  If it didn’t turn me on so damn much, I’d drop her for good.  

So, after I shower and start heading to my car, she text me with this address I don’t know.  When I Googled, it led me to some condo on the other side of town.  I asked her what this was about and the bitch left me on read.  Fuck outta here with that shit.  I ain’t Scooby Doo, and I don’t feel like solvin mysteries.  Fuck I look like?!

But my dumbass follows the scent of hot n ready pussy soon as it pops up, so I go and whatever.  Place look like the fuckin Powerpuff Girls live here, doin the absolute most for one woman to be livin in by herself.

When I go knockin on her front door, it just opens on its own like a haunted house.  I peek in, bout to call her lame ass for tellin me an address I don’t know about, tryna get a Black man killed, I hear her voice.

“Come on in, baby.”

I stepped my ass in there real slow, checkin my peripherals until I saw her sittin on the couch in some see through robe lookin at her fireplace.  I coulda busted concrete with the hard on I got lookin at her.  Those titties, nigga, sittin up under her chin practically, just overflowin she so big.  

“What’re you standin there like you seen a ghost.  Come sit like you got some kind of sense.”

“What you got the front door open like that for?”  I asked her, sittin next to her.

“I knew you were coming by.  I don’t feel like getting up if I don’t have to.”  She takes a bottle of Hennessy from the table in front of us and pours two glasses, handing me one of em.

I take a sip, nursing my drink.  “You tryna be a pillow princess tonight or sumthin?  Wantin me to do all the work?”  I asked her.   I couldnt help but reach out to feel that ass through her robe but she smacked my hand.

“Not like that, Erik!  I want you to finish that drink, and maybe another.  I want to be entertained a little more than usual tonight.”  She knocked back her drink quicker than a jackrabbit on a date.  She set her drink down, scooching over closer to me.  I couldn’t keep my eyes off them damn titties!  She started rubbin the inner part of my leg and I took the Henny down, you feel me!  

She poured me another drink and started talkin all general about my day and shit.  I wasn’t giving her nothin but one word answers cuz I was startin to get a lil lit off of the drink and she kept playin in my hair, kissin my neck and shit.  I was tired of tellin her to chill out with alldat cuz I damn sure was ready to teach her ass some fuckin manners.

So I grab her thigh and pull her big ass over my lap, giving them cheeks a Jaws of Life-ass squeeze.  I heard her gasp from my strength, she love that shit.

“Erik, hang on-”  She try and say but I ain’t wantin to hear her mouth.  I slip my hand in her panties and started washing my hands, her shit was like a faucet with that drip.  I knew she was ready, think she playin with somebody.

“Fuck a ‘hang on’.  Hang on these nuts, what you finna do.”  I was bout to be in my element!  Pussy poolin and I was finna dive, my nigga!  Next thing I know my hair gettin pulled and yanked backward, hurt like a muthafucka.

“Damn Venice!  What the fu-”

She took my hand and licked them off all slow.  I felt her tongue dancing on my fingertips before she pinned my hand back.

“I really, really, love it when you’re rude, Erik.  I do!  But when I tell you to hold on, you say ‘yes ma’am’, remember?”

She pullin that dominance shit again.  I ain’t on no punk shit, let the record show.  But if this moves things along, then, “Yes ma’am.”

Then the damn doorbell rings!  “Finally!”  Venice gets up for the door, walkin all fast.

“Who the fuck are you expectin?”  I’m gettin loud with her cuz I didn’t sign up for none of this shit.  I was supposed to soak my wood and dip, she be extra but this on some other shit.

She turns around and puts her a finger to her mouth at me before opening the door.  Some blonde girl comes through the door sayin Hi and huggin Venice like this a tea party.  So, I’m sittin on the couch waiting for them to finish and her to leave, but Venice walks Jennifer Lawrence lookin clown into the living room.

“Erik, this is-”

“I don’t need to know her name, I need to know when she leavin.”  I’m heated!  My dick gettin soft by the minute, but Venice and her friend is unphased.

Venice starts playin in her hair and they start gigglin.  “She’s here to keep us company.  She’s fun, I think you both would do well with each other.”

Nigga, when she said this, I wondered if she spiked my damn drink or some bullshit.  “I don’t associate with white folks Venice, stop wastin my time so we can do what I came over for.”

“That’s why Abbigayle is here!  She wanted to meet you and-”

“You tellin bitches about me?  Talkin behind my back?!  I ain’t a damn gossip topic, fuck is your problem!  I don’t fuck white bitches either, so you can just step ABBA!”  I was ready to pack my happy ass up and go.  Too many females on this planet to be strung up on one dummy.

“ERIK!  I’m not going to be interrupted again!  You’re making me lose my patience, that isn’t going to go over well for you.  Be nice!”

I said already I ain’t no punk, right?  And I meant that shit.  But I ain’t never one to fuck up a good time, fuckin is fuckin, so let’s just see what happens.  “Yes ma’am.”

Venice liked that, she instantly walked all slow and sexy over to me tellin me good job and shit, kissin on me.  For a second I forgot about Abracadabra but then I feel an extra pair of hands at my lap and I see her unbuttoning my pants.  Venice tooks my face back to look at her; she is really fuckin beautiful, I can’t even lie on that.  Her lips felt like when you ain’t had Starburst in a while, and the first one in the line is a Pink or a Red, nigga her lips juicy as fuck and I didn’t want her to stop puttin em on me.  

So we makin out on the couch and Abacus got my dick out and starts lickin and kissin my shit like it’s a damn bomb pop.  That’s cute and all if I rock with you, but if I don’t know you like that?  You just playin, show me what the hell that mouf do so I can hae somethin to talk to the homies bout later.

Venice gets off the couch and sits across the room in a chair, leaving her leg over the arm so her legs are spread out.  I finally was gettin hard again, poor Abilify probably thought I was gettin there from her hen peckin round my shaft.  Nah, I couldn’t hold back seeing Venice sittin there like she ain’t give an entire fuck that some random bitch was suckin my dick!  Like, she ain’t been shy about what she likes in the bedroom but fuck, this was some new shit she pullin out on me.  

When Venice took off her bra to let them titties hang on her stomach, I was about to lose my damn patience.  I look down and Albuquerque and decide she needs some instruction on what to do when you got dick in your mouth.

“Open ya mouth up.”  I told her, pulling her hair back to hold it behind her head.  Soon as she does I pump my dick all into the back of her throat.  She start hittin that gag reflex just right and then I let her breathe while she coughs and wipes her mascara down.  I look over at Venice who has a slick smile on her face, nodding at me to continue.  When Abomasnow started bobbin on my dick again, she was two handin my shit right?  Venice brought a real lazy ass to this party.  So I popped her face tellin her to take it deep.  White girl was a trooper, I give her that.  She barely got it halfway in before she started to gag, so I held her down just to make sure she wasn’t playing.

Lookin over at Venice, now she all relaxed, panties to the side with two fingers diggin herself out.  She was bitin her lip tryin not to cum, she bet not either.  With her full attenion I let her friend breathe again before I made her face my playground, fuckin the shit outta her throat.  I tried my best to imagine it being Venice’s pussy like she probably wish her fingers were me.  I couldn’t take no damn more.

I pulled out of Arby’s and strolled my ass on over to Venice, ready or not.  Venice wasn’t fightin though as I picked her up under them thick ass legs while she held onto my shoulders.  I guided her onto my Johnson and slid right in that bitch like it was nothin.  She was so damn wet for me, and her face said it all that she was finally gettin what we came there to do.  Venice pussy reminded me of when you just sat down after bein up on your feet all day and you feel like your heart is beatin in your soles when you get them propped up but it’s so damn better than gettin back up again.  Venice knew how to tease me, and that shit was torture, but fuck if that release ain’t sweeter for it.  Kissin on her lips while she breathin on me kept me goin, so I put her down turned her around by the fireplace.  I picked her leg up and back and got right back in that pussy.  This was my favorite position, cuz she felt tighter from behind, and she screamed louder too.  Singing my name out like a gospel, cussin me out so much it almost hurt my feelins.  Almost.  

I almost forgot about her friend, til I felt a ticklin on my balls and there was Abscess tryna feel a part of this too, lickin my nuts and Venice’s pussy when I was slammin too hard in them cheeks.  It was whatever though, cuz not a damn thing was bringing me out of her til I was through.  

While I’m holdin Venice’s titties bouncin round, I felt myself gettin close, but that wasn’t happenin here, not like that.  So I pull out of Venice, almost kickin Albany in the face and take her chair spot.

“Lemme fuck them titties real quick.”  Venice gets between my legs and wraps them tig ol bitties round me, holdin them in place.  Ma had my dick CREAMY, I didn’t even notice til then, she was cummin harder than a muthafucka.  Venice friend helped keep her hair back, encouraging her with some “Go girl, get that cock baby!”  type of Bring It On like nonsense.  This ain’t no damn pep rally, fuck is you doin?  Me and Venice were in our own damn world anyway, watchin her tongue hang out to catch my tip when it poke from her cleavage made me mad.  She knew what the fuck to do, and I can’t stand it!  Nigga, that nut was so long and hard, it could break steel, but it painted her face like a damn masterpiece, stickin on her eyelashes and shit.  What the fuck she get for makin me work so damn hard.

With all that, her friend was pretty chill by the outcome.  “Damn, Venice, you weren’t lying at all.  Shits real!”  givin Venice a high five while I pulled my pants up and she wiped her face.  

“Right?  Told you!  Ok guys, I have to get some rest so just see yourselves out.  We should do this again!”  

I just knew she wasn’t talkin to me, but she really was walkin up her steps to her room like we were her employees clockin out.  

I asked her, “Aye, Venice!  This how you treat guests in your house!”  

“You ain’t gotta go home, Erik, but you have got to get the hell outta here before my husband gets home.”  Venice said with a flick of her wrist.  Bossy ass bitch!  

Me and Abbreviate walk outside and I just had to ask her somethin for what just happened.  “Do y’all do this a lot?”

She just shrugs.  “Sometimes, but I don’t say yes to every invitation.  You just sounded too promising.”

I nodded, confused as hell, but flattered.  “Right.  And how y’all know each other?”

“I’m a colleague.  Worked on a case together and got a little closer than necessary.  Been a good friend since.  Take care of yourself, Erik.”  She gets in her car and that was that on that.  

When I head to my whip, I get a text notification.  I just knew it was Venice asking me to come back or at least a thank you.  But no this time it was my other situation, Genesis.

Masterlist