#i cant remember whixh one it is | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

modernpygmalion · 15 days ago

Text

What bugs me about this is less of: should my brother have to do this without any guidance at all

If he wants his check back, he has to do the work to get it thats legally required of it.

Hes an adult, hes 20. I can give him accommodations such as a script and a timeline. I know he has adhd. He can write it down. I don't mind doing that, but he has to have the initiative as an adult to WRITE things down. And REMEMBER things. And if he cant remember the information, then he has to write it down. Theres no changing that.

Hes not cognitively dysfunctional to qualify for someone to take medical power of attorney of him, nor can he have anyone else speak for him at these meetings.

Our mama straight up told me she would help me when i was 17 and i better pay attention bc she wasnt gonna do shit for me once i wad 18. And she put me out a week before i actually turnt 18.

Whether or not that was right of her isnt for debate, bc one thing my mama did was instill the sense of "this check is your lifeline" and she was right. My aunt was trying to say i thought he was too stupid to get a job, and i know ny brother isnt. But we live in an ableist society where people with different needs arent even tolerated in public spaces let alone in minimum wage jobs for long.

And i was asking him, do you want to be independent, do you want to be treated and live like an adult. Hes 20 and has to ask permission to leave the house. Hes grown. He has no legal obligations to anyone. I straigjt up want him to cut his grandma off bc like, why is he living like he 13? Hes a fully grown man.

And ofc my aunt kept switching it up, oh hes mentally 13 (no tf hes not. Hes mentally 20, going on 21.) Oh well nobody ever taught him that - im teaching him that. Oh well hes quiet because hes anxious. He needs to speak rhe fuck up

Standing behind me is someone who neither loves him nor cares if he dies on rhe street and they want to ensure that he neither gets the insurance or pocket change he may survive off of.

Then she was like youre not like him hes autistic and every argument oh he has emotional pain yadda yadda dadada as if i grew up with pockets of posies and sunshine and lollipops and never struggled with anything. I told her the last time i got hospitalized i was almost raped and murdered whixh also made her pivot bc that shit dont work. She knows shes called the police on me for crying and having an episode. She knows i tried to kill myself too. Like that schizoaffective disorder is on the exact same level as his autism. We both have low need of care. He can do this shit

Like how he faked not being able to tie his shoes and lied to mama everyday to stay out of school

Idk why theyre treating him like an invalid, but the fun part is that my aunt has these arguments that have weight to them. Her guilt tripping me about stuff my mama did in the womb weighs more than her lying and saying mama was an angel who never did anything wrong bc she's gonna want to use that again later

My aunt is a narcissist though, and it makes sense bc apparently both of my grandmothers were too. And my aunt donna and my sister shukira. So i mean ig its understandable but she has to be the biggest victim and if she can reference her supposed sacrifice and switch up her arguments every other sentence she will

But that doesnt help my brother! Which is the issue. James needs fucking help and age appropriate help. He cant answer basic questions about himself without someone giving him the answers.it was to the point where i was surprised he even knew his birthday.

Thats not autism, thats coddling and learned helplessness. He doesnt even wanna live like that anymore. Thats the part that makes me sick is that hes ALWAYS listened to me wjen i advocated for his autonomy and independence. His actual anxiety doesnt matter in this scenario, but instead his discontent with being robbed of knowing his own history is what we need to focus on.

He's gonna ne anxious for life. I am. We all are. Nobodys happy either. But giving up instead of working to achive happiness is how you die before youre buried. And ik for a fact my aunt is dead.

Its just argh. It pisses me off. Im trying to teach him how to fish but everyones saying theyll give feed it to him knowing theyre half way to the grave.

Its so funny i can successfully evade my aunts guilt trips by leaning into her same logic even when shes switching up her arguments by pulling up the "facts" by repeating what shes said directly

She was like "why are you being so mean ans talking about your mama like that she loved you, she never treated you like that she wasnt money hungry like that"

And i went "you know your sister. The same sister you said would steal diaper money from your dresser, you know what she was like" made her switch up her tune soooo fast

Cant manipulate me anymore ✌🏽🥰✌🏽

2 notes · View notes