#i cant help it it was good ✋😔✋ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

prozac-cat · 10 months ago

Text

i think this has made me realize my thoughts on AI art (writing, images… whatever) has much more to do with intention and much less to do with effort or soul or ownership or what have you.

like i FEEL a visceral repulsion from so much AI art i see centered in conversations like these, but i studied this issue in a philosophy class like a year and a half ago and still had trouble figuring out exactly where i stand. like i’ll say AI art bad but i don’t really know what i mean by that, and i’ve seen plenty of pro-AI art arguments — most of them taking the same route this comic is — that are very convincing. i learned everything from somewhere. like existence to a degree is derivative. so how can i say AI art automating that process is fucked up and evil if i do it myself all the time?

anyway i think what OP did that’s cemented things for me is specifically using the term “ownership.” not to be anti-capitalist BUUUT… ownership, copyright, all very capitalist ideas. we have to know who owns the thing and who is allowed to sell the thing so the Right people make money. it’s undeniable that modern society (at least that i’ve been exposed to idk idk) has commodified art. if we hadn’t, how would artists support themselves? we show artists their work is valuable by assigning a value to it.

i don’t mind AI art when it’s done for the good of art, i think is what i’m settling on. i don’t even think i honestly care if i can tell apart people-art from AI-art (wherever that distinction lies). what i find myself reacting to and what i definitely care about is i think primarily that the Market ™ will determine that AI has made art so easy, so fast, that artists’ work is no longer valuable, and therefore no longer gets assigned a value. especially if its at the cost of expression. the james somerton types, who look at the humanities and see a disparate gap between effort and profit.

because (i fear) they aren’t looking at AI as a boon to art — they’re looking at it as a new way to cut costs, taking from artists they otherwise would have paid for their “property” to make something slightly to the left. and in the worst case scenario (which may or may not be realistic), this cuts down people who do genuinely care and leaves only people creating soulless (not in the human input sense — in the “this is generic and vague and not really impactful when you look closely at it” sense, which both AI and humans create) stuff.

i hate AI art when its opportunistic. i love it when it adds to our repertoire. and if i didn’t feel a very urgent dread that even improving it as a tool would just add fuel to the exploitative uses, i probably wouldn’t care very much. the ownership wouldn’t matter if it didn’t matter, you know?

i don’t know if a world where this isn’t an issue is like actually within reach — i would like to believe that it is, i’m not really Learnéd on government structure and i’m not going to be — but i would love it to be reality. the arguments that sway me are the ones that really seem to care about art, like this really beautiful comic. i want art to be super collaborative. i think that kind of thing is beautiful. & i think its ugly (but currently necessary) to think of it in terms of property and material value.

this might all be nothing. i’m still kind of hammering it out in my head, but its the most convicted i’ve been on the topic in like two years so i wanted to get it down. i’m gonna be thinking about this piece for a while.

"Original" Sin is what i've titled this piece. by me. sorry if you don't have "collapse long posts" enabled. I have many thoughts.

Transcript - References

#mine #<—THE ESSAY NOT THE ART!!!!#(its the tag i use to find stuff i wrote which feels bitterly ironic rn…)#apologies to OP for writing a manifesto about your work #i cant help it it was good ✋😔✋#also i didnt watch the video essay yet so sorry if this is reiterative

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imaginesig · 3 months ago

Text

"He laughs at all my jokes / and he says I'm so American"

Zak O'Sullivan x driver!reader

SMAU

Logans grid kid might be more patriotic than him. Reader is an American menace to the f2 grid, her bf included, who uses Oliva Rodrigo to cope (and Kimi has been demoted to f3 and Olivias release schedule for Guts is wrong). Based on this prema video

there is a criminally low amount of fics about this man

ynln

liked by zak.osullivan, kimi.antonelli, olliebearman, and 892,293 others

ynln totally sleighed it

tagged sister_username

dinobeganovic girl you slayed that house

ynln SLAY 💅

dinobeganovic slay 😵🔪

ynln oh

olliebearman mate what is that third picture? The dirt??

ynln chief I live in the southern US we dont get snow here

olliebearman what a sad winter

sister_username we ate the first pic up

ynln its a christmas miracle, my sister being the only one who's nice to me

zak.osullivan cant wait for you to see a REAL winter wonderland

ynln id take my dirt covered ground over your royal snow anyway 💪🇺🇸

zak.osullivan says the girl who flys out the 28th

user1 "were you silent or silenced" @/ynln

ynln gagged to silence ✋😔

ynln posted 2 stories!

caption: (1) thoughts and prayers as I head into enemy territory (2) 🇺🇸→🇬🇧

replies

zak.osullivan

oh fuck off

haha

I can hear your gremlin cackle from here

heyyyy you're supposed to love me

I do

I love you and all your gremlin traits

im blocking you and visiting Harry Styles instead

like he would take you in

rude

anyway please call me when you land, I'll be waiting to pick you up anyway

but just in case

ofc baby

get some rest

I love you ❤️

I love you too❤️

ynln

liked by user4, prema_team, olliebearman, and 891,923 others

ynln theres snow-where better than this

tagged zak.osullivan

Logansargent beer in the snow 10/10

Ynln thank you thank you

Olliebearman “I’d take my dirt covered ground over your Royal snow any day” you sure girlie??

Zak.osullivan she’s been swayed

ynln I’m just a girl

Zak.osullivan my snow angel ❤️❤️

ynln ily 🤭🤭

Kimi.antonelli snow angels?? Are you 5

Zak.osullivan our entire yard was filled by her alone

Ynln excuse me, I’m enjoying my youth and I will grow into a happy adult with no regrets

sister_username nice to see you’re having fun without me

Ynln get a hot European bf then we’ll talk

user1 stop I love this

user2 if Y/nZak has no fans I’m dead

zak.osullivan

liked by Ynln, user43, user32, and 828,992 others

zak.osullivan "I want your midnights"

tagged: ynln

artgp_offical new year, new us!!

ynln "but ill be cleaning up bottles with you on New Years Day" ❤️

Zak.osullivan ❤️

Ynln HOT DAYUM

ynln boy do i know how to take a photo 🥵

Ynln I can cook and clean

zak.osullivan no you can’t

Ynln I can bark

Zak.osullivan please don’t I believe you

user1 Y/n is a prime example of the duality of man

user2 she said what were all thinking

user3 this is so Y/n coded

user4 oh he def had help with this post

user5 thank you Y/n for the middle pic

ynln posted 2 stories!

caption: (1) 🎶 New Years Day by Taylor Swift (2) New year, minimal headache

Replies

Zak.osullivan

Well hello

Didn’t expect to see my abs and underwear on your public story but here we are

let me show the people what they lost

How about you celebrate that win instead of dm-ing while laying next to me

sister_username

now I have to bleach my eyes

what better way to start the new year than with new vision

could've still done without your bf's stomach but ok

you'll live 😘😘

ynln

liked by user1, paularon_, user43, and 918,929 others

ynln shes back and ready to show these Europeans how its done

tagged no one

user1 QUEEN 🇺🇸🦅💪

Ynln “salute to me I’m your American queen” T.S

Kimi.antonelli nope

Olliebeaman absolutely not

Zak.osullivan keep dreaming babe

paularon_ id rather die

dinobeganovic I’ll crash myself into the barriers instead thank you

user1 ummm hello???? I didn’t mean to assemble the avengers💀

logansargent f2 grid menace is back 👏👏👏

Ynln gotta show them a good ole ‘merican time

user2 making that smoothie recipe rn

User3 omg update me on how it is!!

zak.osullivan posted a story!

caption: I was bamboozled into matching

Replies

dinobeganovic

“Bamboozled” sure

Stfu 🙄

Ynln

I can’t believe you put up with it

rest assured I’ll be checking what’s under your sweatshirt from now on

Oh😏

I’m blocking you

f2_updates

liked by user3, user8, user32, and 819,929 others

f2_updates: Y/n L/n has won the first grand prix of the season!! Did you enjoy her victory radio as much as we did??

Tagged: no one

User1 PLEASE SHES SO PAINFULLY AMERICAN

user2 never a doubt she’s Logan’s grid kid

user3 at this point I think dating a Brit just eggs her on

User4 not the tik tok audio 💀💀

user5 her engineer is so done with her

ynln

liked by paularon_, ollliebearman, user82, and 918,929 others

ynln first race back and WE GOT THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER PLAYING! Lets see if we can keep it going 🇺🇸🦅🎆

tagged prema_team

Prema_team perfect season start 🤩🤩

Logansargent OH SAY CAN YOU SEE

Ynln BY THE DAWN’S EARLY LIGHT

Logansargent you were great! Definitely a race to be proud of

Ynln thank you Lo!!!

Zak.Sullivan I’m proud of you love

Ynln ❤️❤️

user1 what is that last photo 💀

Ynln me dramatically blaring Dolly Parton

Time skip-- a few races

zak.osullivan

liked by ynln, artgp_offical, user3, and 918,929 others

zak.osullivan MONACOOO COME ON 🏆🏆🏆

tagged artgp_offical

Ynln YESSSS SIR

olliebeaman you’ve never sounded more American

Dinobeganovic put this girl in a frat

Logansargent I have to agree…

ynln my own grid dad betrayed me

Ynln THATS HOW WE DO IT

ynln 15 to first??? YOU MAD MAN

Williamsracing we agree 👏👏

User1 get this man in f1

User2 id love to see it

ynln I LOVE YOU❤️❤️❤️❤️

Zak.osullivan I LOVE YOU TOO ❤️❤️❤️❤️

olliebearman congrats man!

dinobeganovic impressive race

paularon_ it was nice to share a podium

Logansargent calm down before you take my seat

ynln

liked by sister_username, prema_team, user8, and 918,927 others

ynln MCDREAMY oops I mean ZAK GOT P1 IN MONACO!!!! I AM SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH (oh and I got p4 yadda yadda…)

tagged: zak.osullivan, prema_team

Zak.osullivan even in my time of victory I lose to Shepard 😔😔

ynln someone had to keep me entertained while I waited for all your media to be done 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Zak.osullivan thank you for all your support!! You raced a wondeful race, congrats on p4

Ynln I love you (but your race was better no need for a pitty congrats)

sister_username congrats Zak!! The Y/n family was cheering you on

ynln this L/n was also cheering you on!!

user2 I love that Y/n and her family were pulling for Zak more than Y/n 💀

user1 ugh we love a supportive gf

User2 God its me again🙏🙏

User3 when is it my turn

ynln

liked by Oliviarodrigo, liakblock, elvirahallqvist, and 918,928 others

ynln Happy Guts release to those who celebrate! "All American Bitch" will be my personality from this moment forward

tagged: lettiemng, elvirahallqvist, hamdaalqubaisi_offical, liakblock

olivarodrigo wrote it just for you 🫶💜💜

ynln screaming crying throwing up I love you so much

olivarodrigo i literally love you!! My fav driver

user1 girlie just barley made the teenage cut

ynln 19 is still a teen ☝️🤓

paularon_ as if you needed any more reason to be more American

user2 omg this was a group I didn’t know I needed

user4 it seems so random but I love

user3 please give us content🙏🙏🙏

ynln

liked by Zak.osullivan, user1, user3, and 918,829 others

ynln traveling the world with my world 🇪🇸

tagged Zak.osullivan

Olliebearman boo 🍅🍅🍅

Kimi.antonelli 🧀🧀🧀

ynln i can never win with yall

Olliebearman yall 🤠🤠

ynln get out of my comment section

Zak.osullivan I love you

ynln are you sure?? You said no to taking the cat

user1 “my world” I’m crying

user2 as much as i love American menace Y/n i LOVE soft y/n

user3 omg did you name the cat??

ynln ummmm of course, it’s Brick

user3 idk what i expected

zak.osullivan

liked ynln, dinobeganovic, user43, and 918,892 others

zak.osullivan adventure buddies for life 🤝🤝

tagged ynln

ynln deal 🤝

user1 i love that they both posted a solo pic of the other

user5 top tier photography on both ends

user2 the middle pic 😭😭😭

user4 oh to be looked at the way either of them look at the other

user3 those olives looks good as hell

ynln posted 2 stories!

Captions: (1) for the record I am NOT happy to be in Silverstone on 4th of July weekend (2) OLIVA YOU HAVE TURNED MY WEEK AROUND

replies

olliebearman

oh no

oh yes

and I thought the 4th was proper punishment for all your terrorizing

queen liv said no💜✨

call it good karma

GOOD KARMA FROM WHAT??

Elvirahallqvrst

im so excited

Me too!! I'm sad we won't get a listening party again

same 😭

hamdaalqubaisi_offical

my pre-race playlist just keeps getting better 😌

fr!!

zak.osullivan

liked by ynln, prema_teams, user4, and 923,029

zak.osullivan best way to end a home race?? his and hers 1-2

tagged: artgp_offical, ynln, prema_team

artgp_offical we agree!!

prema_team couldn't have said it better ourselves

olliebearman id rank that at bloody brilliant 👏🍾

user1 y'all live for a Ferrari 1-2, I live for a ZakY/n 1-2

user2 the "his and hers" has me crying

user3 strong race!! I hope you plenty of family and friends cheering you one

ynln what a race!! I was so nervous you'd overtake me in those last laps

zak.osullivan believe me I tried, if you weren't so damn good at defense

ynln 🤭😘

user4 I know she was just messing around for practice but Y/n looks so good in that blue suit

user5 the best part was she wore that to celebrate Zak's home gp

user4 stop thats so cute

user6 I agree she looks beautiful

user7 prema retire the red rn

ynln

liked by olliebearman, user54, liakblock, and 928,924 others

ynln what better way to celebrate 4th of July than forcing the US national anthem to be played (I love you Zak and im so proud but Brits gotta know their place)

tagged: zak.osullivan, prema_team, artgp_offical

user1 I still cant believe she wore that sweatshirt around Silverstone

user2 see I want to be surprised but honestly im not

logansargent ultimate checkmake! You've made me proud kid

ynln ss this and hang it in the Louve 🥹

zak.osullivan you are incredible!! I'm proud to call you mine

ynln even when you lose

zak.osullivan fuck that im blocking you

olliebearman I despise everything you do

ynln screw me then for getting team points (and congratulating you on p3)

olliebearman the boys dont fw americans

ynln one of your boys fucks an american

olliebearman OK NOW WHERE DID THE PR TRAINING GO???

ynln posted a story!

caption: My new national anthem has dropped!! 🎶 So American by Oliva Rodrigo

replies

zak.osullivan

did we finally find our song??

I think we did babe

dinobeganovic

am I gonna have to see you and Zak be all gushy to this song

🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

liakblock

its been on repeat

oh my spotify wrapped is messed up

zak.osullivan

liked by ynln, zak.osullivan, user43, and 923,923 others

zak.osullivan you're just so American

tagged: ynln

ynln screaming crying throwing up

ynln I didnt even ask you to do this

ynln I love you so much

zak.osullivan I love you (and your entire range of emotions)

olliebearman mission success?

zak.osullivan mission success.

ynln wot

user1 the Olivia quote???

user2 I think she knew deep down it was never her and Louis's song

user3 omg imagine Y/n and Zak dancing with Louis at an Oliva concert

user4 Y/n would die happy

ynln

liked by sister_username, user4, user1, and 928,382 others

ynln "he's like a poem I wish I wrote"

tagged: zak.osullivan

user1 omg the 1D phone booth

Ynln I had to make my pilgrimage

Olliebearman glad to see you’re embracing real culture

Ynln a drink cup full of canes sauce IS real culture

user2 stfu I wasn’t prepared to a domestic ass today but where we are

user3 might sleep in traffic fr fr

sister_username if y'all dont get married I will kms

user4 same girl

user5 we got a L/n on our side

ynln oh hello to you too

zak.osullivan no pressure ig

#f1 imagines #f1 #f2 #formula 2 #f2 x reader #formula 2 imagine #formula 2 x reader #formula 2 smau #zak o'sullivan x reader #zak o'sullivan #zak o'sullivan smau #zak o'sullivan fic #zak o'sullivan imagine #zak o'sullivan fluff

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kaashikuroo · 3 years ago

Note

I require more of your delicious Osamu content for my phat simp brain 🥴🤌 I will take anything you'd like to give 😔👏

Pls- Our Onigiri Miya deserves more appreciation 🥴🤧

Hope you find this okay!

Little things he does for you -Miya Osamu

Character: Miya Osamu

Genre: Pure fluff

Warnings: Cussing.

MASTERLIST

Requests? Send ‘em here!

— Would always escort you to your destinations:

This onigiri Miya would never let you walk alone. Ever. He’s busy? Fuck that. He’s coming with you. It ain’t possesiveness. He can’t trust the outside world with his angel of an s/o plus he reads the news. Mans would ditch practice just to make sure you’re safe.🥺✋ Would much rather prefer you do your homework in the gym while he practices. Even walks near the road on the sidewalk, keeping you on the safe side.

— Would cook for you:

This man…This man I say- *cheff kiss* Mans srsly got some cooking skills. He would pack an extra lunch in case you forgot yours by chance. Which you do. Not by accident. *enter Cardi B’s laughter* Would have you come over for indoor dates as he makes your favourite. Would defo make food with you and give it to Atsumu cuz let’s be honest, you ain’t a good chef. You’d try to bake him a cake cuz you’re an angel🥺 and he’d eat all of it no matter how bad it is. 🥺🥺🥺

— Would not let you carry any load:

Grocery shopping? He got the cart. Next lesson? Mans will carry your books. Need to go upstairs? Mans will carry you. Will not let you question it. Always says things along the lines of ‘You’re already carrying so much weight on your shoulders. Lemme lighten a bit of that burden.’ He’s so cheesy, you cant help but laugh. You can’t win against him in this argument so you let him do as he pleases. He seems satisfied when you’ve given up.

— #1 Comfort character:

Bad day? Will cook you a meal, give you a shoulder rub and ask you what’s wrong when your mood’s a bit better. Will encourage you to take the right decisions and will back you up if need help with anything. Not feeling confident? ‘Bitch you better not 😃🔪’ ~Osamu Miya. Mans love language is touch but he will use words here. Will tell you how gorgeous you are to him, the way you walk and talk are literally so attractive to him- pls- I can’t- give me this man before i commit arson. Bad friends? Will call them up for you and cut things off with them on your behalf. Makes sure you don’t see those bastards ever again. Puts Atsumu on guard. He also loves you so he does it.

Overall 10/10 boyfriend.

Where can I find an Osamu? 😩

Anywho- thank you, @coffeechangbeanie for your request.

135 notes · View notes

0tivez · 3 years ago

Note

im a sucker for dad!everyone and I have no idea why

okay so tokyo revengers spoilers below

---------

when akkun jumped off the roof in like episode 4?? (I found a way to not say the word LMFAO) the sound the put when he makes contact with the ground is the sound a box filled with books makes when thrown off a window and it reminded me of the bread video bc its such a dry sound why would they do that

Literally just for the hot guys someone send help-

I wanna say thats kinda a meet cute and lowkey adorable that he mentioned meeting up but 'remind me and we'll arrange it' sounds like a business transaction im so sorry ✋ if you feel comfortable sharing the long story im all ears!! I love long stories 👀 feel free to go off topic more often I well I always do that anyway 😭

OKAY oh boy, where do I start. Its literally so simple to explain but im dramatic as fuck so let me indulge myself ANYWAY so basically we were talking through chat, we spent almost everyday talking and it was sweet and funny and stuff, ya know?? or maybe I was convincing myself he was lol so it was just a normal day after school and we were talking and I think at some point he got boring of just texting so he said "give me a sec im gonna go play with a flamethrower" mid convo and I think something inside of me died. kinda glad he gave me the ick tho, I don't think I liked him that much :/

much hatred for the "I watch real shows lol" >:( specially bc all of the people saying that watched dragon ball or pokemon 😭 when I was younger I usually responded like "haha yeah...ig :,)" but now im ready to smack a bitch; you know what they say, violence isn't the question its the answer 😌

You're gonna make me have a soft spot for eremika TT it sounds very bittersweet when you explain it, but it does make sense why romance wasn't a main plot (I dunno if this is the correct way to say it). AND JEAN! he grew on me so yes, he definitely deserves to be first choice>>>

I think im gonna watch the anime after it finished airing or something. I always say im gonna do so many things but then I get distracted by fanfics lol watch me scream

Aki and Megumi found family trope??? 👀 this is making me think of hurt/comfort followed by pure angst, hurt/no-comfort huh :)

KANEKI??? HE VOICES KANEKI???? I loved watching Tokyo ghoul (I watched two seasons!) :( I had the softest spot for Kaneki but I refused to accept it bc I was scared were gonna make fun of me LMFAO I did have a massive crush on Hide tho, and was very vocal about that lol

I remember watching a gif set of baby tanjiro and my heart melted; same thing with Yuuji I think

Hollywood only thinks of making money over hiring good vas and like random celebrities voicing characters isn't bad ig?? like quality wise, the movie is watchable and entertaining, but still I'd like to see vas recognised for their talent a lot more.

Chris pratt *massive sigh* I heard the only reason why he was taking so many va gigs was bc he didn't get the vaccine so he couldn't go to work or smth; I could be wrong tho.

wait, which dub were you talking about?? the jjk dub??

NO.

NOT GOJOGUMI OR WHATEVER IS CALLED 😭 why?? why with the kids?? 😭

ive seen monstrosities on ao3, I could name them but huh...

Gege I a sadist and I refuse to think to think otherwise LMFAO I little part of me thinks that he might see himself in gojo a bit too much and thats why he doesn't like him lmfao

I think my brain blocked the opinion bc I cant remember?? I think they talked about how the hidden inventory arc made no sense bc apparently gojo is constantly jumping dimensions or something?? and like fair ig bc I know shit about this series but?? I was so confused, I think it just short circuited. Its that a take on his character?? I think I worded it wrong now that I think about it, I love her so much she's the best of the best but I felt attacked, and thats on me 😔 she also hasn't read the manga so we're Ig in even common ground lol

YOU WILL GET IN!!! It sounds so fun :D im sending you as much positive vibes as I can <3 disabilities law sounds interesting! do you have any idea what you'd like to specialise in the future??

I'll be on the lookout for the honorary dilf 😌

right?? wtf 😭 ive only seen college aus in which the pairing is like teacher/student with nanami and like I don't mind but I want my student/student college aus LET ME INDULGE 😤 thanks for hyping me up :,) its gonna be more fluffy+suggestive id say?? def not angst bc I cant write angst for nanami; Shibuya already did that for me lmfao

tho if im honest, I think im stuck bc I keep comparing every sentence to the gojo fic I uploaded lmfao

<making you blush3

sending wet slurpy kisses right back 😌💕

I hope you have a good week! and sorry for the late reply, I was stuck using Tumblr mobile for a while 😅

OH AND IM WATCHING THE JJK MOVIE ON THURSDAY 🥳 think Im gonna put mascara solely on my lower lashes just bc 🤷‍♀️ I hope the song at the end doesn't hurt me too much tho lmfao it will

-🥳 anon

ps: I probably should've put this at the beginning but I feel like this wasn't the best response?? like I feel like the energy in my ask is a little down, and I think it might've been a bit venty as well?? I don't now if you can feel it TT I felt a bit like a poser after I finished writing this and I'm sorry if anything I wrote came off wrong :,)

STOP APOLOGISING

anyways lol there is a long ass story about a guy i liked in hs under the cut 👀 it's really long tina i'm so sorry 😭

OHH OKAY LMAOOOO YEAH HE JUST WENT plop

LMAOO YEAH that's what i thought too 😭 my friends got the ick when he said that

okay so!!

i met this dude in 10th grade and he was a senior (12th grade here). we had this jukebox kinda thing in the backyard of our school and we got the keys for it that year, which meant that we could play songs for everyone to hear during lunch breaks. so, that week, i went to watch bohemian rhapsody and OBVIOUSLY had queen brainrot and i was OBSESSED with killer queen. my phone had died so i had left it in my classroom. my friends weren't very fun, they all were doing their homeworks etc etc and i was just sooo bored. anyways, at the last 10 minutes or something, there were only like 4 of us left. my friends were begging to go upstairs and we almost did lol this group of older students came, which meant that they would annoy us and beg us to let them play something shitty (not in genre, they would purposefully open popular shitty songs- it's hard to explain lol it's kind of a turkish thing) so we were like okay :/

i was talking to my friend, this dude started playing killer queen LMAOO i looked at him and smiled, i was like "i love this song!" idk man i used to be so shy but something in my brain flipped off wlsakmdasmwed he looked straight into my eyes and was like "you know queen?" i said "yeah! i love them! i've been dying to play this song but my phone is dead" and he just looked at my eyes like 🧿👄🧿 his eyes were really pretty 😭 i went back to talking with my friends anyways the class was about to start, so we got up and packed. i was soooo nervous lmaoo i didn't even look at him LKMWALKDSMASWED IT GETS WORSE LATER HOLD ON he called behind me and asked which class i was in, NOT MY NAME anyways i told him and waved. my friend was teaaasinggggg me but i shook it off

i started gathering info about the dude. i found his class and stuff, nothing more. idk who sent follow request on instagram first, it was probably me lmaoo but turns out, he's pretty popular! everyone knows him too. i would sometimes share songs on my story and he would always respond. he asked me if i liked david bowie and i said never really listened to him so he shared his bowie playlist! anyways this went on. i would see him in the school garden lol i wouldn't say hi, because we never really met you know? this is a huge problem of mine lkwmsads people think i hate them or something to this day, i'm just too shy what if they don't recognize me NAYWAYS

i thought about the pros and cons. turns out, this dude was living in the dorms (our high school was the best in our city so people from other towns would live in dorms) which meant that he wasn't even from my city? he was also a senior so he probably wouldn't like to be involved with those kind of stuff so i didn't really bother. it was fun tho! so, the day before his uni entrance exam was our last day of school, so the teachers arranged this party stuff with cakes and shit (also! i found out that he was a pretty successful student and would score high on his tests klmsewdlmef this is kinda important cause i like academically successful people 😭my sapiosexuality only works that way) i built up the courage to go wish him well on his test. i could never get him alone, and since my friends didn't know we used to talk occasionally, i left. i waited to make eye contact with him, but i guess it was his time to avoid me. so, i sent my wishes that night, thinking he wouldn't respond. he did, like 2 minutes after i sent the message. he said "we never really got time to get to know each other" GOD I REMEMBER THIS NOW EKSAMDCDLSW i don't remember what i said, i remember i felt kinda embarrassed cause it felt too, out there obvious. it hit me then, that i would never see him again. NOT. we'll get to that >:) i felt sad, i liked having a lil crush. that lil heart skip. i'm not really sure if it WAS a crush, but it definitely was something. oh, he also added me to his close friends like the moment we started following each other and i did the same. WAIT FUCK kKLMWSADLKASEWF HE LOVED DONNIE DARKO??? WHICH IS MY FAVORITE FILM??? I HAVE AN ORIGINAL POSTER IN MY ROOM???????? WHAT THE FUCK???? anwyays i watched pulp fiction for him 😌 it was a win win. oh right, i was sad so i chugged down a whole beer, which was a lot for 16 year old me who went out with her parents lmaooo i was like "pour another one, we're drinking tonight" and they only let me drink 1 💀

what's crazy is

i used to be a scout right? we went to this camp. i got bored, and decided to check if he had a facebook 💀 he didn't, so i was like damn.

2 DAYS LATER HE POSTS A NEW FACEBOOK ACCOUNT ON HIS IG STORIES???? WHAT THE FUCK??? i ran laps i screamed i cried anyways i went to send him a friend request, he already sent me one. cool! i was 14 on my profile picture 💀 thankfully i had deleted everything ages ago

all summer, nothing. NO! results come in, HE'S 1ST IN OUR SCHOOL?? LIKE HE SCORED AN UNGODLY SCORE?? i was like holy shit he went to one of the best, if not the best, uni in our country

so, fast forward 11 grade, first day of school. we were talking in our class (our classes got mixed that year) dude walks in to greet our teacher with his friend and starts talking about the exam and shit. no eye contact? alright whatever lol. 2 or so months later, we go on a trip to visit the unis in that city and his uni is a famous student attraction. he has close friends from his dorm too, so he jumps in on our bus. it was raining so much so we had to stay inside the bus. anyways, we go down, no eye contact still. klsmwadslakwme whatever i say it really is time to stop thinking about him. he vanished off the surface of earth not too long after too lmaoo anyways he probably had a girlfriend back then. so, early pandemic, he deleted his twitter and stopped posting on ig and i hadn't even thought about him at all

he posted a pic on his story... uh,,, october this year? idk at least i knew he was still alive 💀

we went to ikea with my friends one day and got in the wrong bus, ended up in the most ridiculous place so i posted a selfie of us and added it in my close friends (mind that i post from new years to new years) and he responded! he said "you're in this city and didn't invite me?" and i jokingly responded with something. this was late at night, i didn't see him respond and went to bed. i woke up at 9 am and saw that he said "oh btw congrats on your uni! turns out we are really close (our unis are super super close), so we can sit down sometime if you'd like to" and i thought i should respond when im fully awake and went back to sleep. i woke up at 12 pm with my brain mushy and responded with some cringy fucking joke and just liked the message he talked about sitting down. he liked my respond. we were gonna go to a concert that night. i started getting ready, didn't think much of the message. as i was plucking my eyebrows, it occured to me, how DUMB i was. how much of an IDIOT i was. i texted my friends "i did something horrible". i got ready and hopped on the bus, thought about it the whole ride. i got out, met with my friends and told them, HOPING they would at least support me a lil. the first thing they say? "zee, you're such a fucking idiot" i was like "I KNOW" anyways it went on a little more. i said "if i drink enough tonight, i will text him"

2 beers in, mid concert, i sent him a message. "you know, i double tapped it or smth like that but i would really love to meet" sent it, pushed my phone in my pocket. 5 minutes in, i see a notification saying "we only talked on ig" CHILLS MAN I THOUGHT HOLY SHIT THIS DUDE IS SAYING wtf we only talked here KMDSLWKMSDWLKFR FUCKING IPHONE i opened it and he said "same! we only talked on here right? never met face to face" "yeah, guess it was meant to be in this city" "haha yeah. remind me of it and we'll plan something" "sure :)"

this was it omg this shit is so long for no reason, sorry for this lmaooo he's really pretty too lkwsmdaxlsamdwecf i can't i will probably never remind him lol

oh shit wait

my hs friend who goes to the same uni as me, when i told her about my past with the dude, she said she hated the guy bc he ghosted one of her friends. like, he wouldn't wave at her, respond to her texts and stuff. he didn't do any of that with me, so i'm wondering if he liked how i wouldn't really acknowledge him irl lol

yeah that was it lol

flamethrower?? yeah bestie you dodged a bullet there

that dude was also a huge naruto fan. like, he would sometimes wear that bandana and i was like "hmmm okay" i became a weeb literally one year after that 😭 karma is a bitch, death note is bitchier

kaneki was HOT. i liked it when he got violent >:) i could never warm up to tokyo ghoul and keep forgetting that i watched it lol. kaneki was hot tho. i want to read the manga so much, sui ishida is a legend

LKEMWSADCFLKWSDMF NOT THE VACCINE THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE THOO

dubs in general i guess? jjk dub is pretty meh imo. i liked the part where yuji calls nobara a bitch tho

i don't like the so clearly american accent in anime dubs, you know? the way they overdramatise the voices gives me the icks. thats why i loved the death note dub! it was so on point, no unnecessary dramatic moments, following the steps of the original vas. also light's monologue was sick, l's voice was sicker

wait, how does your friend find it bad if they haven't read the manga yet?

aah i didn't get in lol i didn't really expect to be picked anyways so it's cool. thanks for the vibes tho <3

i haven't picked anything yet, i still have very little law knowledge. i've always wanted to be a criminal lawyer (like higuruma hehe) but it looks like i would be more successful (money wise) in private law branches. i also don't know if i want to be connected to the government in any way. fuck the government. i probably wouldn't be picked too lol i'm super marginal for their conservative views. i would LOVE to be a da or prosecutor in usa, like new york lol i watched too much law and order. but yeah, for now, i'm focusing on exploring and seeking out anything involving foreign countries. i would love to study abroad for a master's degree too

ooh hell yeah! go for it!

i was writing the vibrator fic with nanami and realized how LITTLE fics with nanami eating reader out exists lmaoo sorry for the sudden nsfw topic but it was so weird! i don't think i've read it outside of fics specifically for eating out???

WATCH IT FOR ME TOO >:'''''')))) HOW WAS IT DON'T TELL ME BUT TELL ME HOW WAS IT??? HOW HOT WAS GETO

LOVE YOUUUU HAVE A GREAT WEEK <3 <3

#🥳 anon

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