#i cant ever be normal agian

[kozzax]

It had to be Jack. Putting aside that the epilogue stemmed from a joke, it had to be Jack. It couldn't have been anyone else, not if we were going to get this much weight out of it.

Yeah, anyone asking Tommy if he was happy would've gotten the same 'getting there' response, but coming from Jack, specifically, makes it feel so much more heavy. There's a finality and a strength and a sheer power to it. Asking if Tommy's happy means so much more when it's coming from Jack.

Jack, who was once such close friends with Tommy, such close allies.

Jack, who hated Tommy and blamed him for so much and tried to kill him.

Jack, who is the only other person still alive on the server to have seen purgatory?

Nobody else on the server has this same dynamic, has this same complex and nuanced relationship that's built on so many layers of love and hate and friendship and enemyhood and understanding. Only Jack can truly and fully understand how much everything messed Tommy up, and how much Tommy misses it anyways, because he's the only other one left who's lost all three canon lives.

It had to be Jack, because anyone else asking how Tommy is would come across as either teasing or normal behavior or pity. But with Jack, it's a profound question. With Jack, it's not 'are you happy?' as a common statement, it's 'are you happy?' with years of baggage on both sides and an underlying current of was it worth coming back.

And it couldn't have ever been from Tommy's point of view. If it was from Tommy's point of view, he'd be back in the narrative. He'd be presenting his own epilogue, and he'd be the vessel for it all again, and more than anything what he's earned is the chance to leave it behind. It couldn't have been from Tommy's point of view, because that would've taken away the softest parts of it.

"I might not see you again" "that's okay. i can deal with that knowing you're happy :)"

[bxttenbound-archive]

@mrultra100 -  What about everyone that follow and support you?

what about all the people who literally hate my guts, the feelings of people who have abandoned me I still have to deal with constantly, the constant triggering of my anxiety and ptsd from things, the fear im going to fuck up everything because i inevitably do, worrying i cant function like a normal person and only ever push people away because i become too obsessive and attached which leads to me doing things like this or them leaving, the constant cycle of abuse i throw myself into with friends because im lonely and the cycle of obsession starting agian i can never escape because im terrified of abandonment

[lamp-up-my-ass]

You wanna know what I want?

I am a lover of all things angst, and this includes toxic relationships, and sanders sides fanfic has not failed me with this. Theres the steadily growing amount of unsympathetic patton relationships gowing around, and a hanfull of unsympathitic roman fics ive seen. But the most ive seen is with deceit and remus being the abusers. I get it, its easy to put them in this role sense theyve been labeled the dark sides, but youre missing so much angst potential! So ive compiled some fic ideas revolving around these two characters.

Warnings:teen/adult, physical abuse, mental abuse, injury mention, smothering behavior, self harm, emotional abuse, blood, crying, breakdowns, isolating behavior, and unsympathetic patton and virgil.

Mociet with unsympathitic Patton

This can work in so many gut wrenching ways. Patton is so offten seen as the Dad friend, so maybe a fic where is older and Deceit younger? Imagine a 23 year old Patton, known for being nicest guy in the town, meeting 16 year old Deceit who, despite his punk style, is relatively sheltered and innocent. Patton prays on this innocence, but is put off by Deceits style, so he sets out to change him. All Pattonhas to do is treat Deceit to some tasty foods and kind words, and the teen cant stop thinking of him. Patton makes the first move and kisses Dee with no warning, before pressuring and convincing Dee into a relationship. They keep it secret, and for a while it's good. Until its not.

Patton starts to "accidentally" lose the clothes Dee would leave at his apartment, in exchange smothering him in gifts. Gifts of scratchy yellow sweaters and too tight pastel converse and other things that aren't his style. At first Patton acts normal when Dee doesn't wear these things, and its fine. Until one day Dee cant find his normal leather jacet on a cold day and opts to wear the sweater. He visits his boyfriend after school, and Patton instantly starts to cover Dee in praise when he sees him, calling him adorable and his little sunflower. They even have a heavy makeout session that abrudtly ends when Pat sees the black band T underneath the sweater. But its fine, Dee tells himself, probably nothing.

From then on, Deceit starts to notice how Patton becomes more distant, only ever gifting him cutesy clothes. All he wants is the attention he got that one day. So he starts to wear the clothes. Even when the sweater on his skin itches or the converse leaves small blisters or the bright colours leave him feeling uncomfortable. Its a small price to pay for the adoring look patton gives him.

Then, one day Deceit decides to wear his leather fingerless gloves on his date with Patt. When Patt answers the apartment door, he instanly frowns at the gloves. The dinner they have is stiff and quiet, patton not even glancing at the teen. When dinner is over and Dee is about to leave, Patt stops him. He asks why hes wearing those gloves, and starts to insult Dee. The teen tries to counter argue him, but Patts shouting and its scaring him. He never shouts.

Dee backs a few steps away, attempting to put space between him and his lover, but he bumps into one of Pattons flower vases and it shatters. Patton becomes more angry, screaming and stomping towards the boy. He grabs Dee and rips the gloves off. Dee panics and pushes himself away, but thats puts him off his balance. He falls backwards, onto the glass. The shards push into his hands and hes bleeding. Dee becomes upset, but before he can shout at Patt, his boyfriends there.

He has tears in his eyes and is apologising, pulling the teen into a tight hug. He keeps saying sorry and that he didnt mean too. He picks the boy up and puts him on the couch, smothering him in compliments. When patt "calms down" he attempts to lighten the mood. He says " next time dont be so clumsy." Dee ends up staying the night, missing school the next day. This is the last time he wears something like that.

When hes home, he gets a package from Patton. The note says " so that your not sutch a clutz next time :D." Inside theres a pair of pure white gloves, with little embroidered sunflowers.

Anxceit with Unsympathitic Virgil

This idea was easy to come up with. Virgil is the embodiment of anxiety and theres alot of things that can make you anxious in relationships.

They met at a concert. Deceit say the shorter man and his rainbow pin amd decided to give it a shot. He flirted with the little emo, cautious on if he was uncomfortable. They hit it off and went to a starbucks after the concert to get to know each other.

They kept in touch and continued to grow closer. Suprisingly, it was Virgil who asked him out. Their relationship was perfect. They ended up dating for 1 and a half years before they decided it was time to move in together.

Deceit noticed the change immediately. Whenever he would be on his phone, Virgil would go quiet. Whenever Dee came home from something or another, Virgil would launch himself at the taller individual. At first Dee thought nothing of this, thinking it was cute even. Until it was not.

Deceit had went out and visited some friends, talking and joking around with each other. Dee felt the constant buzzing of his phone in his pocket, but ignored it to speak to his friends. When he finally arrived home, he foumd out his mistake. Virgil stood in the living room, head bowed, and asked where dee was. Deciet responded quietly, concerned for his partner. Verge looked up and asked "why didnt you respond to my messages?!" Dee was taken aback, confused by Virgils behavior. Virgil saw this and started shouting at him. Right when Dee was about to respond, Virgil started to break down into sobs. Deciet ran over to him and tried to calm him down, but the other wouldnt stop repeating " dont leave me." When finally calm, virge looked up at Deceit and asked " can you please just tell me when you go somewhere?" Deceit agreed.

Things like this kept progressing, Virgil crying and breaking down any time Deceit doesn't tell him when he leaves the house. He starts to even get upset anytime Dee dosent text 5 minutes after he texts him, saying how hes scared that Dees leaving. Deceit feels bad for his partner, so he stops leaving the house for anything thats not work or food. Virgil is very happy about this. But only for a bit.

Since Deceit starts to be at home more, he keeps up with his freinds through text. He doesnt tell the why he stopped hanging out with them, ignoring the question anytime its asked. Virgil notices Dee being on his phone so often, and becomes jealous. One day, he sees Dee laughing at something on his phone, and jumps to conclusions. Virgil stomps over to Deceit and yanks the phone from his hands. He starts to shout, accusing him of cheating and lieing. Once agian, right before Dee is about to respond, Virgil cries. Once again he says hes scared and doesnt want him to leave. Deceit comforts Virgil, and Verge asks him something. "Can you just let me look at your phone when i get scared? Please?" Deceit agrees.

And once again, its all fine. They fall into a routine. Dee goea to work, calls Verge on his lunch brake, comes straight home, talk to Virgil, help make dinner, eat, have Virge check his phone, watch tv, and go to bed. It was simple. But Deceit was lonely. He missed his friends, missed seeing them and knowing whats going on in there life. So one day, Dee goes into his room and voice chats his friends.

Virgil enters and Dee stops the call. Virgil is mad. Hes shouting at Deciet and accusing him cheating once again. When hes done shouting, he glares at Dee and demands to see his phone. Deceit says no. This is the wrong answer.

Virgils eyes go wide, before turning around and marching out the room, slamming the door behind him. Deceit doesnt make a move until he hears Verge open a kitchen drawer. Deceit races out the bedroom to see Virgil cutting his arms with a knife. Dee grabs him and triea to get him to stop, only for Virgil to drop the knife and fall to the ground. Hes sobbing, saying that he has nothing to live for without Deceit. Deceit tries to calm him and carefully cares for his wounds, virgil still in tears.

Deceit doesnt contact his friends for a long time after that.

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Hi! So these were just two of many ideas ive been having, and i hope you enjoyed! I plan to make a part 2 to this with lociet, roceit, and intruciet. If thats something youre intrested in, give me some feed back! Im ooen to any constructive criticism, and please tell me if i left any trigger warnings un named. Also, remember i have nothing against Patton and Virge, i actually enjoy them quiet a bit, so dont think I hate them or something! I just wanted to write something small including things like different types of abuse and character takes, im not saying that these characters are truly like this. Anyway, hope you enjoyed!!

[kiribaku-recs]

People suck, but not all of them

Chapter 2, part 1

(Bakugou p.o.v)

*starts from the walk to the dorms, after he calls him cute*

Why did I say that? Do you like what you see cuz I do. What am I an idiot? I mean he is adorable, with his fuckin’ face and perfect skin Ughhh...I have it bad. I don’t even know if he’s gay or something? Why did I do this to myself it’s just gonna end in a disaster. But I can’t stop! It’s like all I can think about is his adorable face! He’s about 4-5 inches shorter than me which is perfect. He comes to about a little over my shoulders. He has huge ass eyes that make him look pure and innocent, they are the brightest blue I’ve ever seen. They remind me of the bright blue sky on a warm sunny day with no clouds on the sky. He has the thickest eyelashes I’ve ever seen it looks like he’s wearing eyeliner, damn the girls should be jealous. He has a bright read hair spiked up to be honest I kinda like it, but he can never find out. He has a mall scare above his eye, I probably wouldn’t have noticed it if I did t stare at his face early. He has a small nose but a perfect nose it fits nicely on his face, he has cubby cheeks. I just want to squeeze them- no Katsuki that’s weird. As if me monologuing about his face is normal. He has nice skinny jeans that show of his nice perky ass. He also has a nice dress shirt one that shows of his small waist, probably a little smaller than mine. Which is very impressive considering that I have the smallest waist in the class.

He looked uncomfortable when I called him cute though. I don’t wanna scare him off I really wanna get to know him. Like realllyyyy bad. Ugh what the hell is this guy doing to me. “Sorry” and we continue walking I look over to my side to were he should be. When I don’t see him I noticed that he stopped walking. He tilted his head to the side like a good damn puppy. Why the hell os he so adorable!?

I walk over to him keeping my head down, and shoulders hunched embarrassed with myself usually I do t give a crap but with him I do and I have no idea why. “I just wanted to apologize” I’m still looking down at my feet when I feel him tap my shoulder, I look up to look at him in the eyes he has a sad and confused exasperation on his face is doesn’t look as good as when he smiles ‘why are you sorry? You did t do anything’

This guy is so nice we won’t admit when someone makes him uncomfortable. “I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable when I called you cute. Don’t get me wrong you still very cute and really attentive and I would love to get to know you more- fuck...umm..shit I..umm..uhh..yea”

WHAT THE FUCK KATSUKI!? ARE YOU REALLY THAT MUCH OF AN IDIOT!! YOU CANT TELL SOMEONE YOU DONT KNOW THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM. YOU SOUND LIKE SOME DESPERATE SCHOOL GIRL!!

He does something which I assume was a laugh, great make the new kid laugh at you Katsuki great job. But, than he says ‘I would like to get to now you too’ and he has the cutest blush on his face my god I could kiss him.And I can’t help but smile. He’s so cute so so so cute! And he now has the brightest smile. Wow.

I really wanna make him my boyfriend I don’t even know him. But I don’t really care I’ll get to know him and then I’ll ask him out on the most perfect date and then we’ll come back and kiss and then we’ll- I REALLY need to stop fucking monologuing about him.

“Are you gay? Or something else?” I can see they was he freezes. Shit I messed up agian it’s like I can see his brain running smile a minute ‘why’ is all he says, but without hesitation “so I know who my competition is” he takes a deep ‘I’m gay’ yes! Less people to try and steal him!

I look at him, he seems scared out of his boots damn I really need to stop scaring him. “I’m gay too so don’t get all scared” he smiles and nods his head. And then we start to the dorms agian.

I can hear his breathing starting to get in even and he’s starting to lag behind, should I stop? Should I talk to him? What do I do! When we get to the front door, I open it and push him inside as quickly as possible.

He stands there for a couple of seconds not breathing or moving, then he starts taking deep breath’s in and then out. I feel useless standing by his side.

Right when his breathing was about getting normal pink bitch or fucking Mina Ashido god do I hate her, she just fucking jumps on him! And yells “KIRI!!”

And that’s when everything goes to shit