#i cant end relationships unless very specific rules have been broken

[canthandlethishit]

hmm

[weightofmyshield]

STEVE AND LOKI FOR THE SHIP MEME THING

( ✗ )

I’m putting this into our main verse where Steve asked for Loki to use the scepter and then even after the connection to the gem was severed they were still connected.

GENERAL:

Rate the Ship -  Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - Until the end of time!!!! 

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - It wasn’t an easy start, they have a history. But the mind gem connected them long after their connection to the scepter was broken. 

How was their first kiss? - World shattering, at least for Steve; even with the mind gem’s influence. It wasn’t his first kiss, but the events afterward were. 

WEDDING:

Who proposed? - Steve did, on Christmas Eve.

Who is the best man/men? - Bucky or Nat would be Steve’s best man/woman.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Given his inexplicable jealousy, Steve does NOT want it to be Fandral.

Who did the most planning? - Steve secretly enjoyed the artistry of it, but he left most of the choices up to Loki.

Who stressed the most? - Steve probably stressed the most, worrying and striving to live up to someone worthy of Loki. 

How fancy was the ceremony? - Steve wouldn’t want something extremely flashy, but he would also want to celebrate his love with Loki. Something traditional and elegant, but not loud enough that it would drown out what was important: his relationship with Loki.Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Steve wouldn’t want Fandral there (Again, stupid jealousy) and Loki wouldn’t want Thor, so in the end the compromise and both of them attend the wedding. Steve makes it sure everyone knows that if Odin shows up he’ll be getting a shield bash to the face (regardless of the repercussions). 

SEX:

Who is on top? - They don’t have set roles. It depends on their mood, Loki’s form, what they want in the moment… Steve loves it all!

Who is the one to instigate things? - At the beginning, with the influence of the mind gem, Steve does. When he is ‘himself” again, they’re both timid. It isn’t until Steve is more confident in terms of his ability and Loki’s feelings that he insticates more often. Now in a stable relationship, it’s a flip of the coin.

How healthy is their sex life? - I would say it is very healthy. They are considerate of one another and their needs.Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Sex is about expressing their feelings for one another, for Steve it is about Loki, about how he can make Loki feel. Sex is a new adventure for Steve, but it is one he’s highly curious about traveling. And lets face it… it is Loki! The Trickster in and of himself is a kinky little minx.Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - I mean, one is a magical Asir the other is a Super Soldier. they both have amazing endurance! To put it simply, it can last a REALLY long time! x3

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - For Steve, sex is about his partner’s pleasure. If Loki has more orgasms than him, that doesn’t much matter. That being said, Loki is attentive, and has a wicket talent for driving Steve to the brink.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - Steve is an utter cuddle bug!!!No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

CHILDREN:

How many children will they have naturally? - Loki has had a rough history with how his children have been treated. Steve would love to have as many children as Loki wants, but he also isn’t willing to risk his husband’s health both physically and mentally. 

How many children will they adopt? - Even though they aren’t Earth born, Steve would be honored to adopt Loki’s own children. If Loki doesn’t want to give birth to children, Steve wouldn’t mind adopting either. But again, it would depend on if Loki would be comfortable with that.

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - I feel like both of them would be equaly atentive to their babies needs.

Who is the stricter parent? - Probably Steve. xD

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Steve!!! “NO YOU CANT USE MAGIC TO TOSS THE BULLY INTO ANOTHER DEMENSION! YES, I KNOW I SAID TO ALWAYS STAND UP TO BULLIES, BUT THAT WASN’T WHAT I MEANT!”

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Probably Loki, but Steve would pay attention to it too.

Who is the more loved parent? - I feel like each kid would have their favorite, but they’d probably prefer Loki because he would dote on them so much.

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Both of them would!

Who cried the most at graduation? - I think both of them would be really emotional. 

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - Steve because he’d end up having to pull his Captain America strings xD

COOKING:

Who does the most cooking? - Probably Loki. Steve isn’t BAD in the kitchen, he can do the basics… but anything fancy? He’d burn it to death probably.

Who is the pickiest in their food choice? - Steve grew up in the depression, he’ll value the meal in front of him regardless of if he likes it or not. So, Loki would probably be the more picky of the two. Plus he’s an adorable diva so ;P

Who does the grocery shopping? - I feel like neither of them would go shopping… Loki would magically stock their kitchen – reality, Steve would probably go out with Loki’s shopping list.

How often do they bake desserts? - Steve has a massive sweet tooth, and regardless of if they bake it or not Steve makes sure to always have a stash of sugary sweets in the house.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - Steve is a meat lover, at least cooked meat – he had enough of raw liver when he was a scrawny nothing. Loki is about decadence and what flavors best suit him in the moment.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - Steve goes out of his way to surprise Loki even with small things.

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Steve enjoys taking Loki out for a nice evening on the town. Not to mention the places Loki likes has really good food.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidentally while cooking? - Probably Steve.

CHORES:

Who cleans the room? - Given his history with the military, Steve is neat and tidy and prefers to clean. So he often does.

Who is really against chores? - Probably the kids, if they have any. But between the two of them, Loki is more likely to be against them since Steve enjoys cleaning.

Who cleans up after the pets? - Steve. Coyle was his dog from the beginning, he is Steve’s responsiblity.

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Again, probably their kids if there are any. But between Steve & Loki, it would be Loki.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Depends on the guests. :D Steve’s guests it is Loki who worries, if they are Loki’s friends Steve stresses.

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Steve xD

MISC:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Steve learned to tkae quick showers in the army. It is just a habbit he’s kept even now (unless he has an excuse to stay longer ;p ) So, Loki would probably take long beautiful bubble baths.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - Steve, but sometimes he talks Loki into going with him.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - For Chritsmas? Steve goes crazy. It’s the one time of year he insists they do something. He doesn’t go too crazy, a tree and stockings for each of them (including Coyle).

What are their goals for the relationship? - I think they’re meeting their goals. Steve wants to spend the rest of his life with Loki – however long that will be. They’re engaged, they’re planning their future. 

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - If Steve doesn’t have a mission, if he’s in their home and sleeping with Loki Steve could sleep al day. 

Who plays the most pranks? - Uh, Loki…. God of Mischief and all ;P

[imreszekeres]

for the anon that wanted all 100

1. Name- Ash! 2. Age- 18 3. City that you live in- fear, usually 4. What do most people not know about you?- nothing really, i compulsively release useless information about myself 5. What do most people know you for?- being fat and annoying 6. Hobbies- makeup, youtubers, sleeping, writing, drawing 7. What are your passions?- writing 8. What do you search for in a significant other?- i really Really need to be understood, and someone who is patient is nice too 7. What are you most proud of?- I hav gone to State and gotten within the top 10% in my Journalism competitions, which puts me in the top .08% of all high school students in my state. :-) im good for some things 8. When was the last time you had a significant conversation with someone you love?- every day when I talk to @pizzasteveofficial <3 all our conversations are significant 2 me 9. Have you ever collected anything? What was it?- I collect my tears in a jar and store them, then shower in them every night 10. List 10 things off of your bucket list.- I want to get married in the snow, have a daughter, get a Heartagram tattoo (at least one lol), write a successful book, and.. idk what else :0 11. What was the last thing you learned?- jesus I dont know, you learn sth new every day! hard to remember 12. How many relationships have you been in?- um.. 7 I think i feel like im forgetting one tho. I wont name them obvi but i think im forgetting one? i feel like ive been in 8 oh well 13. Turn ons- validation 14. Turn offs- being alive 15. Favorite food- frozen yogurt! I like the vanilla or white chocolate flavor with looots of toppings 16. Favorite drink- Coke 17. What is the best birthday gift you have ever received?- i dont really know! I dont remember a lot of my birthdays for trauma reasons so  18. Are you optimistic or pessimistic?- pessimistic by far lol 19. Do you sleep during class?- its happened a handful of times, I try not to bc I HATE missing work its annoying 20. What is the most expensive thing you own?- myself?? jk its my laptop 21. What is the cheapest yet most useful thing you own?- a 1 dollar ELF blending brush. yall those things are bomb please go buy some! 22. How many times a day on average do you check your phone?- that number does not exist holy shit  23. Text or call?- TEXT BLEASE I HAVE SUCH BAD HEARING 24. Opinion on long distance?- it can work! ive done it a lot of times. distance has never been whats broken a relationship for me, not directly anyway 25. What is your definition of success?- success is when you’re happy. you do not have many worries, not the kind that keep you awake at night or make your tummy sick anyway. You have people that love you and, if you died, you’d be remembered as a good bean 26. Favorite song?- right now im really diggin “Hate (I Really Dont Like You)” by the plain white Ts 27. Favorite artist?- HIM!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 28. Celebrity crush/crushes?- Ville Valo ALWAYS lmao hes my god 29. When was the last time you read for fun?- like last month 30. Favorite flower?- roses 31. What is the best gift you could receive right now?- a plane ticket to Connecticut and like 1000 dollars 32. Any guilty pleasures?- pop... music... BUT LIKE THE GOOD KIND U FEEL? I DONT LIKE STUFF FROM THE LAST 2 OR 3 YEARs...  33. What is one thing you would like to change about yourself?- my weight, and that sounds so shallow but it. is taking a toll on me. 34. What do you search for in a friend?- someone who is like me! 35. How many times have you said "I love you" in the past month?- not enough 36. Where did you last go other than your room/home?- school.. 37. Why do bad things happen to good people?- because life isnt fair 38. In your opinion, what hurts more? Being left out or being stabbed in the eye?- what the fuck being stabbed in the eye have you ever been stabbed in the fucking eye? because i havent and i can already tell you that if my friends were talking without me and then someone stabbed me in the fuCKING EYE I WOULD BE JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE PREOCCUPIED WITH BEING STABBED IN THE E Y E  39. How many green shirts do you own?- none lol 40. Do you like anime?- sure! I dont watch it rn but i dont watch anything rn, haha 41. What do you invest the most time in?- sleeping,, 42. What was the name of the last book you read?- Rebecca :3 very gud book 43. What's the difference between loving and liking someone?- when ur main squeeze gets a hair cut and u still wanna suck their dingus u love em, thats it sorry i dont make the rules 44. Where are you most productive?- i dont.. know what this is asking lol I’m most protective over my romantic partners. As much as I’d love to say im most protective over Sarah, nothing compares to how “troll guarding his treasure” i am w/my loves.......... *eyes @my crush* 45. List 3 things you enjoy doing with friends.- talking shit abt rude ppl, playing vidya gaem, and talking abt life 46. List 3 things you enjoy doing alone.- watching makeup tutorials, watching lets plays, and thinking about everything and anything 47. Do you believe world peace will ever exist?- absolutely not. theres too many people on the earth to achieve that 48. Do you have any allergies?- Not to anything specific but i get them really often seasonally. i get them pretty much every time the weather changes :( 49. When was the last time you cussed at someone?- i mean.. every day of my life so like 50. What was the last promise you made?- idek dude 51. What was your last dream about?- IT WAS SO WEIRD IT WAS ABOUT MY CRUSH’S MOM? I DREAMT THAT SHE WAS A DEMON WHO STORED HER EGGS IN LITTLE PORCELAIN JARS AND THAT MY CRUSH HAD AN EAR INFECTION AND WE WERE IN A SNOWY VILLAGE IDK DONT ASK ME its weird bc my crushs mom is so sweet... 52. If you won a trip to Hawaii and you could take 5 people with you, who would those 5 people be?- i would literally only take Sarah bc i hate everyone 53. How many countries have you visited?- ive never been outside the US 54. What is your favorite medium of art? (Music, dance, painting, etc.)- writing :-) 56. When was the last time somebody complimented you?- those nice anons i got yesterday/the other day! 56. If you switched bodies with someone, how would you recognize yourself?- what do u even mean? youd know bc youd be like THIS ISNT MY BODY 57. Do you consider yourself mature?- kind of, yes 58. How many days in your life do you think you have wasted on tumblr?- too fuckin many 59. What is your favorite quote?- “Worship Satan!” -Ville Valo (no but rly any HIM lyric is my favorite quote, theyre so beautiful,,,) 60. If you started a new religion and you had to create 3 rules or commandments for your new followers to live by, what would those 3 rules be?- dont hurt ppl unless they hurt u, dont touch ppl unless they want u to, and respect gender/sexuality 61. What is your greatest accomplishment?- going 2 state! 62. Do you believe in the death penalty?- yeah i actually think it should b used more lol, kill all rapists and p*dophiles :-) 63. What are your goals for life?- i just wanna b happy, man 64. What do you think your soulmate is doing right now?- being a fucking idiot, probably 65. If you could live anywhere, where would you live? The place can be in an imaginary, fantasy, or the real world.- CALIFORNIA LMAO IM SUCH A SUCKER FOR CALIFORNIA AND I NEVER EVEN BEEN THERE 66. What were you like in 2013?- awful but also really sweet... then again i wasnt TECHNICALLY the host so lol  67. Do you have a job?- no :( i cant drive 68. Tell us a story about your childhood best friend.- she was an abusive bitch who took out her parents hating her on me the end 69. If you could change one thing about society, what would it be?- i would make discrimination a way more serious crime than it is taken for rn. ppl who discriminate should b put in jail 70. How many all-nighters have you pulled before?- just one when i had to install the sims and it took 6 years 71. Is tumblr your favorite website? If not, then what is your favorite website?- my fave website is youtube 72. What is the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?- suck a dick, i guess 73. Does money equal happiness?- not all the time but it sure can 74. How many times have you experienced true happiness in your lifetime?- never, i dont think 75. How many times have you experienced true sadness in your lifetime?- too many times 76. What is the funniest joke you have ever been told?- you know that joke abt the blind man at the beginning of Crazy Rap? yeah thats fucking HILARIOUS  77. When was the last time you looked at the news?- this morn :0 78. If you could say one thing to the world, what would you say?- im gay 79. What is your favorite animal?- RACCOONS!!!!!!!!!!!! 80. If you could earn a million dollars by pretending to be dead for 3 years, would you do it?- i mean sure lmao nobody would b upset about it so 81. What is one thing that everyone is bad at?- being a human. 82. What time do you normally sleep? How many hours of sleep do you usually get?- i usually go to bed at 10 and get like 6 or 7 hours 83. Does age necessarily equal maturity?- not at all! 84. What is your favorite clothing store?- hot topic lol 85. In the winter- beanies or gloves?- gloves b 86. Would you rather have wings or a fish tail?- wings?? why would i want a fish tail 87. If you had the power to erase one person from the world so that nobody remembered him or her except you, would you do it?- absofuckinglutely.  88. What do you fear the most?- being like my rapist. thats a little too deep than i like to go but im being honest, thats literally my biggest fear Ever 89. How many digits of pi can you recite?- 3.14 lmfao i hate math 90. If you could travel back to one year and relive it again, which year would it be?- 2004. I would stop it before it happened. :-( 91. Describe yourself in one word.- stupid 92. Describe your last victory.- i woke up today w/o killin meself 93. What is the weirdest thing you have ever seen?- bendytoots cucumberpitch’s face 94. What is something you will never forget?- prom.. something rly nice happened 95. Would you rather forget all of the past or remember everything in vivid detail?- forget everything. please 96. Have you ever broken a bone before?- nope! 97. Is it harder to love or to hate somebody?- probably harder to love them lol 98. Coffee or tea?- coffer 99. What are some little things that you do that have changed your life in a positive way?- I dont overdose on a constant basis in a BPD-fueled rage any more so thats good 100. How many hours have you spend on tumblr today?- probably 1 or 2?

[bookworm-2692]

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose however many people you want to tag!

tagged by @lebannabell (first of three haha ty)

tagging: @productiveunicorn @zakounenharma @a-lostflower-inlove-with-eden @ruessterteeth @justicetom21 @autisticvaswani @starelin2 @kanavitas @ayretonothing @thelostspirit

LAST… [1] drink: water [2] phone call: my mum i think? [3] text message: "have loved them ever since” (talking about a eurovision song. belarus this year. i love them) [4] song you listened to: im listening to esc radio rn and its “your heart belongs to me” by hind (netherlands 2008) [5] time you cried: yesterday actually haha. i wouldnt normally have cried in that situation i was just overtired haha

HAVE YOU EVER…

[6] dated someone twice: nope [7] been cheated on: nope [8] kissed someone and regretted it: nope [9] lost someone special: nope [10] been depressed: i think i was at least mildly depressed a few years ago? only realised in hindsight tho [11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLOURS: [12] blue (since forever) [13] purple (since realising i was ace haha) [14] green ??? (for a while but idk)

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… [15] made new friends: i think so? not close so more like aquaintences tho (i also cant spell at all) [16] fallen out of love: nah [17] laughed until you cried: a year is a long time so not that i remember but there is definitely a chance [18] found out someone was talking about you: i’d be very surprised if i was never talked about i talk about people all the time [19] met someone who changed you: dont think so [20] found out who your true friends are: no??? like im no longer friends w some people but we just drifted apart so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  [21] kissed someone on your facebook list: i dont have facebook

GENERAL… [22] how many of your tumblr friends do you know in real life: a) i dont really have tumblr friends b) there are a bunch of real life friends on tumblr but so many stopped using it so i no longer know how many use it anymore so i cant answer this question [23] do you have any pets: no. i had three guinea pigs several years ago tho [24] do you want to change your name: nah i like it [25] what did you do for your last birthday: same thing i did the year before and am planning to do this year. just a big gathering w my friends and having lunch and talking and chilling and stuff [26] what time did you wake up: 6:30? 7? idk [27] what were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping [28] name something you cannot wait for: dnd on sunday w family [29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like an hour ago idk [30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: id like to be more organised. and get my homework done on a reasonable timeframe sort of thing [31] what are you listening to right now: esc radio still, “todas as ruas do amor” by flor-de-lis (portugal 2009) [32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yep [33] something that is getting on your nerves: nah not really [35] elementary: what is this question asking? [36] high school: um??? im in high school? is that what youre asking? [37] college: im probs gonna go to uni next year [38] hair colour: brown [39] long or short hair: long for me haha [40] do you have a crush on someone: nah [41] what do you like about yourself?: im someone people have said theyre able to talk to w problems bc i dont ask for every last detail? also my maths ability haha. and playing netball if someones beating up someone on my team i go on them and then they dont beat me up. idk [42] piercings: nah [43] blood type: a positive! [44] nickname: not really any unfortunately [45] relationship status: single [46] zodiac sign: cancer [47] pronouns: she/her [48] fav tv show: probably eurovision haha i cant wait [49] tattoos: nope [50] right or left handed: right

FIRST… [51] surgery: um does setting a broken bone count? bc that was v shortly after my tenth birthday [52] piercing: dont have any [53] best friend: i dont really think ive ever had one. maybe ash? idkkkkkk [54] sport: i had swimming lessons from like the age of 2 or whatever, did tennis from prep????? [55] vacation: central australia when i was three months old (was dropped on my head on the second day and then my granddad died shortly after that so we had to come home for the funeral or something idk) [56] pair of trainers: um???? how do you remember brands of shoes from like over a decade ago

RIGHT NOW… [57] eating: nothing [58] drinking: water [59] i’m about to: answer two more of these things haha [60] listening to: esc radio still, “wild child” by ace wilder (preselection sweden 2017) [61] waiting for: idk dinner i guess??? [62] want: my homework to be miraculously done [63] get married: im not getting married right now? what is this question asking? [64] career: i dont have a career im still at school

WHICH IS BETTER… [65] hugs or kisses: hugs! i love hugging people [66] lips or eyes: eyes?? look pretty???? idk [67] shorter or taller: um i’d like to be taller???? i’d like other people to be shorter????? what is this question asking what am i choosing between? [68] older or younger: what is this question asking? what is better older or younger???? [69] romantic or spontaneous: i dont like romance but i dont know what context you mean for spontaneous? [70] nice arms or nice stomach: um????? do you mean on me or other people????? what defines a nice stomach or nice arms what? ah yes your digesting organ does its job well what i dont get it [71] sensitive or loud: what! is! this! question! [72] hook up or relationship: neither lol [73] troublemaker or hesitant: what is this asking i dont get it why cant people who make these original posts be more specific w their questions

HAVE YOU EVER… [74] kissed a stranger? no [75] drank hard liquor? no [76] lost glasses/contact lenses? no [77] turned someone down: no (unless they asked really vaguely and i didnt understand that would be funny haha) [78] sex on first date? no [79] broken someone’s heart? doubt it [80] had your own heart broken? nope [81] been arrested? no [82] cried when someone died? if a guinea pig counts as someone then yes otherwise no [83] fallen for a friend: no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN… [84] yourself? what do you mean? [85] miracles? no [86] love at first sight? no [87] santa claus? no [88] kiss on the first date? if the people dating want to then why not [89] angels? no

OTHER… [90] current best friend’s name: dont have any [91] eye colour: brown [92] favourite movie: idk dont think i have any

[emily-jared-zoe-benjamin-blog]

TW: Abuse, rape, toxic houses, abelism, additction. text heavy post below the cut. Please read. Do not comment with anything that is unsupportive. x x x x x x x x x x I ususally dont have the energy or am too ashamed to tell people whats actually going on with me. It has felt very isolating and put me in a bad mental place for a long time. This time I am speaking out. It's hard for me to put this in words without being emotional. I have reached out to some folks in my community. I have direct support from members of MBAC, TWAC, NLG, SURJ. Three or four years ago, I and others started a rad community house to center marganilized folks. I have been the primary person holding down this house (as in emotional labor, physical labor, and financial labor). Awesome friends have lived here. So have alot of shitty, abusive assholes. I've been fucked over beyond anything I feel like going into. Things have deteriorated. The people I currently live with have worn me down to nothing and have turned the house into a toxic environment. They were all friends before moving in and reinforce and enable each others problematic behaviors. They are abelist and abusive. They aren't paying bills or rent. We are getting shut off notices everyday. One of my roommmates raped someone in the house and the rest have enabled this behavior thru appoligism and denial. JARED HUNSAKER BENJAMIN DONOLON AKA JOHN SMITH EMILY KAYE WARNER ZOE SNIK OR ZOE JENKINS TOXIC ENVIRONMENT Since this summer, I have consistently been woken up by rowdy partying every night from the hours of 3-9 AM. They will sleep or drink through the day. There is a culture of drug and alchohol use on a nightly and daily basis. Personally, I dont care what drugs people do as long as it does not negativly affect others in the house. That is the case here. The drugs they are using makes them highly aggressive. Often what wakes me up is barking dogs and sketchy-and-drunk, agro-white-cis dudes getting into fights or raising their voices. People and their dogs have literally stayed at the house for upwards of two months. Typically this is without discussion. Most of them have been physically violent and aggressive and verbally abusive. Most of them have been kicked out after multiple incidents of violence and agression. Most of these incidents arent communicated with other housemates. I finally find out once it's really bad that, oh, they knew this person was agro all along and had expierenced it. Many times these are people my roommates later claim to 'barely know' or just met. All are white cis dudes. I realize a lot of this behavior is deeply imbedded in their community. I have been in a constant state of exhaustion due to lack of sleep. I have chronic pain and I get exhausted everyday just from living and have explained this to them many times. It's disorienting being woken up from a deep REM sleep consistently. And I cant function/think. The last fucking noise I want to be woken up by is either a barking dog or the sound of a white cis dude who probably has dred locks. This is not a punk house. When I reached my limit and asked that we not host folks for a few weeks (especially white cis dudes) they did so anyways and lied to my face that no one was there (even when I saw them). I've also asked for specific people who have been agro not to be back at the house. This has also been ignored. When neighbors began coming to me, they finally took the noise seriously. ANON ROOMMATE - RAPE/ABUSE It is in this toxic culture that one of my roommates raped someone in the house. The entire house apparently knew/or was involved and didnt tell me, nor did they hold this person acocuntable. Why? Because they are denialists, appologists, and enablers. They shamed the survivor to their face as well as blamed them for the abuse because they both had drank. In addition, Emily screamed and violently reacted to the survivor when the survivor went to them for support. The rapist literally said things such as, "she is only saying I raped her because her feelings are hurt." They shit talked the survivor and said they were out to ruin them and not to trust them. These conversations took place in a Facebook chat which I am no longer in and copied and pasted to email form. *some screenshots included.. I reached the limit of pictures that could be posted, however, there is much more* I learned about the rape when rent was due (one month after the abuse) when the abuser didnt have money because he had to pay for part of the abortion. I immediatly reached out to the survivor and offered support. The survivor told me they reached out to everyone in the house to try to hold the abuser accountable and asked that I be told. No one in the house did that. I then sent a Facebook message to the entire house calling out the abuser and the other people's appoligist, enabling behaviors. I asked for accountability. I set up ground rules for this conversation and said I would end the conversation if they were broken (for example, no gaslighting, no survivor blaming, shaming, no aggressive personal attacks, etc). These rules were broken repeaditly as were boundaries the survivor set. They seriously triggered the survivor. I was unable to continue speaking with them because of how disguisting their comments were. I then reached out to the community for support. I arranged for a neutral mediator to meet with us in an effort to hold the abuser and others accountable. At first they were receptive. Then they never responded when the mediator reached out to them. We made more attempts and waited longer. Then said they refused to engage in mediation. I've made many efforts to hold them accountable within the house. This has failed. JARED HUNSAKER white cis male. Jared got in my face while I was in my chair, yelling when I asked him to be quiet at 4 am. He then refused to move out of my way and blocked my path and continued yelling at me until I came back out of my room to talk to him. He says that any request I have is either overreacting or petty. Usually, after I make a request to Emily (as the noise is coming from her room and I dont want to enter a room of people partying at 4 am, especially not after being attacked) for the entire group to be quiet, I will get a nasty text at 4 or 6 am from Jared saying "the whole house thinks it's time I move out" or calling me "petty." This has happened multiple times. Only two of those times are included. It's at a point where I know asking for them to respect basic boundaries or to do things around the house wont happen. I dont feel comfertable talking to them in person, so I have been talking to them over Facebook. At this point, I dont feel talking to them in any form will change anything. BENJAMIN DONLON AKA JOHN SMITH Benjamin is a poc cis male who recently moved here from Denver, Colorado. He used to organize and live at R2D2 and was briefly active in dont shoot. I found out that Benjamin basically fled Coloroado to escape accountability there. He was kicked out of his last house. Benjamin did not inform people in the house any of this information. I found out thru someone else in passing. When I asked him about this and for the name of the facilitator in Denver, he told me he was involved in a mutually abusive, co-dependant relationship where he was being mentally abused and he was physically violent. I asked him for the phone number of the facilitator of the process he went through. I asked four times. He never gave it to me. I thought it was a huge red flag that he didnt tell anyone about his past. I found the number myself. I learned that he was kicked out of a community house in Colorado for being violent towards other people and his former partner. He went through a process and was staying in the house. However, after that process, he chased his former partner into a room and she had to lock the door and trap herself in. He had punched walls before this and this time punched other folks trying to hold him back from punching the door more. It was at that time that he left Colorado. He has exibited the same behavior with me (chasing me into my room, yelling and banging the door down and trying to open it, refusing to leave). When he found out I spoke with the person in Denver, he became aggressive with me. Towering over me in my chair, yelling, blocking my path, hitting walls and counters, he accused me of "talking shit about him to people out of state" and then gaslit me, saying I never asked him for the phone number. Another time he did this to me, he ripped down a bill (in close proximity to my face and body, as I was literally in the act of putting up a shut off notice under the heat control when he ripped it down in my face). I told him to stop touching the heat unless he intended to pay, because it was about to be shut off. He then told me he would continue turning the heat on and to try to stop him (he hasn't paid bills since he moved in or paid full rent - as Emily told him this was okay). He began yelling at me and accusing me of stealing mail (???) and I quickly went into my room and held the door shut (my doors are french doors tied by a rope knot). He continued yelling and tried to break open the door. He left only when I blasted music to drown him out. Every encounter I have had with him since has been super aggressive. I later saw him and Zoe emptying the trash bins outside in apparent attempts to look for mail (?) it was gross and aggressive intimidation. He has harassed me while I was in the bathroom by yelling and threatening me (through a curtain door). He has waited outside my room in the dark for me to come out and mess with me on several occasions. EMILY WARNER: Emily works at Sam's Billiards as a cook (NE Sandy/42ndish). She's friends with people who party alot. She works most nights and parties afterwards until 9 am. Emily recently moved here from Michigan. I dont know where she meets her friends and would often later find out that she "doesn't know them" or just met them. She will also say that she doesnt know who's in her room and she isn't home when they are there. Both her and Zoe will say things are missing from their rooms all the time. Recently, Zoe has accused me of stealing from them, which is a baseless accusation; it clearly is the people they are bringing into the house. Emily has a pattern of abelism and creating conflict when asked to follow thru on basic promised responsibilities. Emily's dogs are dogs that bark at everything and destroy everything unless there are people around. They have been completly neglected. They almost never stop barking. Emily has barely been home these past few months. They may be cared for once a day if that. When she first moved in, she (like many before her) assumed that I would provide free animal care because I am disabled and at the house more than her. I told her after it was becoming apparent that I was not able to do this. She then paid others in the house to do this. My labor is always a free and exploited thing, of course. Then she stopped paying others and the dogs for months have been locked away in her room. Deficating and urinating in there and making a huge mess. They are so unhappy. Most of our conversations are about the dogs or being woken up. I have tried so many times, begging Emily to do something. The non-stop barking and wining every hour on a nightly basis is a nusance. She will say she is sorry and has done nothing to remedy this. She continues to neglect them or have the dogs in the presence of rowdy people and new dogs who rile them up. Others in the house have expressed the same sentiments. Emily generally has not followed thru on the things she has promised to do, and the same goes for most people in the house. Thus, house meetings continued to cover the same things that werent getting done until I finally told them that I refused to participate in house meetings. It was another drain on my labor to facilitate and plan the same meeting without follow through. So I did all the "to dos" and projects myself. Most of this involved physical labor, such as removing large objects, forming a gate, and cleaning the yard of large pallets and their party trash, clearing matresses, and so on. They did nothing to help. Finally, two months ago, I passed on the responsibility for paying rent and bills to Emily because I was at my breaking point. Most of the time people dont pay rent or bills. It's fucking not okay. I'm not a fucking bank. I exist on disability income while they all work/can work and spend their money on alchohol and molly. I've been dealing with this ontop of organizing and ontop of having almost zero will to exist. So Emily was taking our money and didn't pay any bills the entire time. If they took it, if they didnt have enough to cover bills, if they didn't communicate to us they need more money. I dont know and I dont care. I am facing shut off notices everyday and sadled with over $800 past due bills because of this. She continues to lie about paying them and does nothing. The bills she has said she paid are actually not paid. I have actual copies of the bills reflecting that as well as all her texts claiming that she paid them. She enabled the abuser by covering his rent and survivor-shamed by hiding the abuse from others in the house (along with other housemates). Last month, when rent was due, the money I gave her was missing. For 24 hours she wouldnt give me a straight answer as to where it was or if she had it. She strings me along saying things are paid and then I call the utilitiy the next day and find out she hasn't. This pattern has been going on for awhile and is exhausting. She will then spin elaborate stories to create conflict and to confuse the issue (not just about this, but everything). This is something all the folks in the house have been doing. They have been banding together to defend and enable an abuser and their own abusive behaviors. Sometimes I doubt my own reality. Lately I have been refusing to engage in their webs of lies. I've cut off all contact with them. ZOE SNIK- Zoe is someone I know from mutual friends in twac and also from shows. I had the most hope for them and am truelly sorry they are not seeing things clearly. They seemed somewhat supportive initially, but since I have taken action to kick Benjamin out of the house, they have been spreading actual lies about me online. They are best friends with Emily. They told me about the rape. When they did they did so, however, it was in a denialist way of shaming, dismissing, and denying the survivor's story. They and others said, "they were there" and thats not what happened. Or that the survivor was drunk at the time. After one or two initial conversations, Zoe refused to engage in further discussion about the abuse. Zoe has brought over many agro white cis dudes who have stayed for months. They continue to bring over folks who I specifically asked them not to, due to their aggressive behaviors toward me. These folks are always drunk when they are here. It makes me very uncomferable. They continued to bring groups of people over when specifically asked not to on a temporary basis because of how rowdy the house had been. I am the only one in this house who cleans or constantly picks up after the entire house and their beer cans, clearing other people's huge mattresses and yard couches. We havent had any spoons in the kitchen for many months. The past weeks, I've stopped cleaning up after them and no one did anything. During one telling incident (with past people), after we got an eviction notice, I cleaned the entire house and mowed the whole yard by myself as they sat on the porch smoking cigarettes. That literally happened. I've had to post desprate CraigsList ads. I trade my houseless friend weed in exhange for labor now. Recently Zoe dumped a moldy matreess that I specifically asked them not to dump in our yard/freepile, because I knew I'd be the one dealing with it, along with the others, right next to an actual no dumping sign that I made. After asking several times, I of course had to be the one to get rid of it. I empty the trash and do dishes. They virtually never contribute. I've explained how recylcing works a million times and im still having to sort thru our trash constantly because they don't care. With them having so many people over, I've never seen so much trash in the house. In the end, it is me dealing with it all and cleaning up after them all while being told that I'm being 'petty'. I maintain all the basics - I'm the sole person for years getting tiolet paper, soap, staple foods, ect. I have paid rent and bills and been in the constant state of being owed money. At times, two thosand dollars. It has taken me months to get repaid, only to have someone else not pay rent and me have to cover. Why is the one disabled person cleaning up after abelist messes? The air quality got so bad in here that the day has finally come. I am empyting bob myself (aka carrying up huge buckets of water from the basement upstairs). Fuck every last abelist bone in their body. Folks who support me have offered to help with this but asking someone to come do that seems like more time than it would for me to do it. This alone caused me alot of anxiety, then during this Emily felt entitled to take the dehumifier to her room. After spending days of trying to get outside help just to empty the thing, she has made it impossible. I texted her over the span of two days letting her know nicely that it needs to be returned, that it belongs to the house and I am having a real bad pain flare up because of her actions. First she didn't respond, then finally was snippy, and eventually moved it after the point where I lost my calm with her. Community members served a Restraining Order (RO) on Benjamin and are trying to find Jared. We went to great lengths to keep this within the community and not involve the police. If we did involve the police this would have been over already. Emily and Zoe will be evicted thru a community eviction. After serving an RO on Benjamin, both Zoe and Emily made posts on housing forums targetting me and attacking me for supporting survivors and making up lies about the situation. They have refused any accountability for their actions as to why they are being asked to leave. I am extremely worried about the past due bills that Emily has not paid on behalf of the house for months and making rent by April 1. I was planning on giving Zoe a second chance, despite their behaviors, because I saw hope in them working on this stuff. However, due to their lack of accountability and smear campaign against my name, that will no longer be the case.