#i cant believe you got me to write christmas fic AND before december even starts

[whiskeytangofrogman]

Zimbits kissing under a mistletoe? Or any other holiday shenanigans?

Congrats, anon! I think this is probably the only Christmas fic I’ve ever written. I call it “The saga of fucking Janine, way too many Christmas cookies, and smug Eric Bittle.” Hope you like it!

Post-canon, 1.6k, Zimbits

Bitty swears he’s not going to go overboard this year. Jack makes him promise he won’t go overboard on Christmas activities before Halloween. Bitty swears on his bakery and Jack’s collection of hockey fan merchandise that at most he’ll bake a few dozen cookies for the neighbours and for holiday packages.

And yet.

Jack comes home at half past midnight from the airport on the Saturday before Christmas Eve to stacks and stacks of baked goods. Bitty’s obviously been at this for a few days now, as some are packaged in tins and tupperware. Others are strewn on the multi-level cooling rack Jack bought him for graduation, and even more are piled on every visible surface. Either Bitty is anxious, or he’s angry.

Those are the only possible causes for this many baked goods.

“Bits?” Jack calls, the sound of his voice echoing through their apartment. No response comes. He sighs.

A quarter of an hour later, after searching every room and not finding Bitty, and getting no response through text, he gives up and settles in the blessfully empty living room. Their small Christmas tree is the only source of light in the room, and the tick-tick-tick of the clock the only sound besides Jack’s soft breathing.

He hears a key enter the deadbolt, and sits up. Bitty slams open the door, arms full of shopping bags and using Jack’s old headset to talk to what sounds like his mother. He doesn’t notice Jack, breezes right past him and settles whatever he had in his arms onto the oak dining table with a solid thunk. Jack creeps into the kitchen, only to see Bitty unwrapping more baking supplies from his grocery bags, phone call over. He’s tweeting something with a lot of emojis with the other hand.

Jack clears his throat. Bitty freezes.

Jack’s leaning against the doorjamb, one eyebrow raised carefully as he gestures to all the baked goods. “Hi honey,” Bitty says, waving a few fingers at him. He looks guilty, but Jack can tell from how mussed his hair is and the tone of voice he was using on the phone that this is anger-induced baking, which is good. Angry baker Bitty can be talked down.

“How was your trip?” Bitty asks, reaching behind him to grab a mixing bowl.

“Why?”

Bitty frowns, already dumping flour into the bowl, measuring cup be damned, apparently. “Because I love you and want to know how your trip went?”

Jack pinches the bridge of his nose. “I love you too. I meant why—” Jack gestures again, helplessly this time. “Why all this?”

Bitty glares at some unknown enemy, and Jack swears he hears a growl. “Janine,” Bitty says, as if that means literally anything to Jack.

“Uh-?”

“Fucking Janine, you know, from down the hall? Fucking Janine said I storebought the cookies I brought to the building meeting, despite knowing-” He slams a hand down on the table hard enough to shoot a puff of flour up into the air. It doesn’t deter him. “That I own and operate a bakery.”

Jack sighs again, and resigns himself to being tired for morning skate the next day. “Okay. So you are baking to prove her wrong?”

Bitty shakes his head. “Nah, Dan from third floor gave her the what for. However, I invited her to our Christmas party—”

“Why?” Jack’s losing track of the conversation.

“—because she thinks she’s going to out bake me, and we can’t have that.”

Jack rests his chin on the back of the chair he’s pulled out. “You’ve won best bakery in Providence for two years in a row,” Jack offers.

Bitty points a wooden spoon at him. “I know that! You know that! Everyone in the fucking building except for, apparently, fucking Janine, knows that!” Bitty grabs more ingredients from his bag, and is quiet for a moment as he dumps them in the bowl. “You know what else she said to me?”

Jack closes his eyes, in love with Bitty as he ever was, but almost equally annoyed. “What.”

“Oh, you own a bakery? I’ve never heard of it. How cute,” Bitty says, in what Jack assumes to be his best approximation of Rhode Island accent. It’s atrocious. Bitty’s furiously stirring the mixture now, muttering to himself under his breath angrily. Jack watches him, wanting nothing more than to drag Bitty to bed and make him deal with his anger more productively in the morning.

It’s not going to work. Two years of marriage and six years of knowing Bitty have taught him that.

“Okay.” Jack stands, pushing the chair back in. “I’m going to go to bed.” He leans over to press a kiss to Bitty’s head.

“Okay sweetheart, sleep well,” Bitty says, reaching for a cookie scoop now.

“Don’t stay up too late,” Jack says, stopping at the doorway to cast one last look over the mess that is the kitchen.

Bitty waves a hand at him. “This is my last batch, swear.”

When Jack wakes up the next morning, Bitty’s not there. Jack knows for a fact Bitty took the week off work for their party and for Christmas, so he should, for all intents and purposes, be in bed.

Jack showers, dresses, and heads to the kitchen for breakfast. There’s easily a half dozen more batches than there were last night, though the chaos is slightly more tamed. Bitty’s slumped over the kitchen table, phone held loosely in his hand. He’s snoring.

Jack snorts, and walks over, pokes Bitty in the shoulder. “Get up.”

Bitty startles awake, shooting upward and colliding with Jack’s stomach. “Wh-?”

“Go to bed.” Jack says, helping Bitty stumble out of his chair. The rage had worn off at some point during the night, leaving Bitty exhausted. Jack looks him up and down, and then pulls a face. “Maybe change into clean clothes first, though.”

Bitty yawns, already heading towards their bedroom. “”ve g’d day,” he calls, exhaustion slurring his words into fragments.

Jack makes himself breakfast surrounded by baked goods and briefly considers stealing some to take in to work but he decides against it. If Bitty, for some ungodly reason, needs them all, Jack doesn’t want to make him make more. It’s not worth it.

When he gets back from the rink a few hours later, Bitty’s asleep still, but the kitchen is spotless and there’s a single plate of Jack’s favourite macarons waiting for him on the table, next to a sticky note with a heart on it.

Jack’s not ready for their Christmas party, but he never is. Bitty knows nearly everyone in the building, and insists they host it in their penthouse every year, despite the building having a meeting space and an open rooftop they use in summer for barbeques. “It’s more homey this way,” Bitty always tells him, invitations already sent out and plans in motion.

Jack lets him have it, because a Bitty in charge of parties, especially during Christmas, is a Bitty that shines, and makes Jack fall a little bit more in love with him than he thought was even possible.

Fucking Janine, as Bitty nearly explicitly refers to her by, shows up last. Something settles in Bitty’s shoulders when she walks in, and Bitty pulls Jack over to greet her. “Jack, this is f- Janine, she’s new.” He smiles a sugary sweet smile at the middle-aged woman. “Janine, my husband Jack.”

Behind her is a man who Jack assumes is her husband, whose eyes go wide when he figures out who Jack is. “Hi there,” Janine says, introducing her husband and their daughter. “I hope you don’t mind, I thought I’d bring a pie.”

Bitty’s jaw tenses so slightly that anyone who wasn’t watching him like a hawk (like Jack is) wouldn’t even notice. “Oh, that’s so sweet.” Bitty takes the pie from her and they share a one armed hug before Bitty shuffles off to put it on the baked goods table.

Jack gets stuck in a conversation about their last roadie with Fucking Janine’s husband, who’s rather unassuming and seems to know his hockey, despite being a Bruins fan. A Bruins fan.

Bitty joins him a half an hour later, looking like a cat who’d got the cream. “Her crust is soggy,” Bitty whispers, way more pleased by that than he should be. “And everyone’s avoiding it.”

Jack looks over to the table and, sure enough, nearly everything is some degree of tucked into by now except for Janine’s pie, which Bitty made sure to both slice neatly and position so everyone in the room could get a look at it. Despite this, the partygoers (either consciously or unconsciously) skip over it.

Jack shakes his head, smiling despite himself.

Bitty’s watching the party (specifically Janine from down the hall that had started this all) with a smug look, arms folded across his chest in triumph. “I bet it’s storebought crust,” he says, looking devilish. “And canned filling.”

“Bits,” Jack says, pulling his husband out of his mumblings. “Look.”

They’re standing beneath mistletoe, the only sprig in the entire house. Bitty rolls his eyes, but meets Jack easily in the middle.

He tastes like snickerdoodle and the slightest hints of spiked eggnog. Jack pulls back and wraps an arm around his waist. “I love you.”

Bitty pats his chest, and smiles up at Jack, momentarily caught up in only them. “I love you too.”

Jack takes advantage of the mistletoe and Bitty’s sole attention for the first time in a handful of days, and leans in for another kiss.

At the end of the party, the only thing left on the tables of food are leftover plates, and Fucking Janine’s pie, only one slice gone. Jack can attest that the pie was not made from scratch in the slightest, though he doesn’t tell Bitty. There’s only so much crowing he’s allowed to do on Christmas.

As always, I am taking prompts! Let me know if you want anything!

[fluffi]

a god’s menu hater?! 😾 jk, i understand. it wasn’t something i liked at first too. then it kept popping up as an ad before left and right by svt played (i was streaming it at the time) but i couldn’t bring myself to skip it? then i couldn’t stop singing it. i actually recall streaming both mvs during finals week instead of studying 😅

this is your sign to dive into wayv but ofc take your time. they’ll always be there if you need a good laugh. and i hope i’ll get into cpop someday, feels like i’m missing out on good music. 😕

shotaro really is up there huh? hope sm revives the nct dance channel and give the man a platform to post on. also have you watched shotaro’s relay cam episode?

yep it’s probably because of the sexual connotation : D i wanna go back to the time when ice cream was just ice cream. and ice cream cake gave me diarrhea once 😭 i still love it but i’m always hesitant bc there’s the slim chance i might suffer through that whole thing again.

i, too, abandon my ult groups when i start stanning new ones. but then again, my ults are an active bunch. with chan going live every week and an nct unit coming back every other month, it’s hard to totally get distant 😂 i used to not watch variety shows because my attention span couldn’t handle it 🤣 also ik you mentioned the groups that you stanned before but who are your ults? (but i think it’s listed somewhere on your blog tho i’ll check it out after i send this)

maybe they don’t read because these are lengthyyyyyy but if they do then 😃🤚🏼AAAAAAA i look forward to these exchanges too úwù

ah yes. those three bring in a lot of fans 🤣 maybe thats why sm put them in the first unit that promoted for nct 2020. strategy worked tho, felt the fandom grow bigger. shotaro edits devastate me whenever they pop up on the tl but i don’t see them often. and come to think of it, i have never seen a soft johnny edit.

spicy genres 😭 i am definitely NOT worthy of that title. but if there’s a specific type of nct fic that you would want to read, i might be able to give you recommendations. oh why would you want to wipe them ☹️☹️ save a copy somewhere at least, you might regret completely erasing them.

and SEUNGMIN. the biggest threat to my loyalty to bang chan. that man just devastates me every. single. time. something about him just makes me go all soft 😔 i had a whole rollercoaster seungmin phase last december bc i subscribed to his bubble and he was active as hell EXCEPT on christmas week. and i got sad bc he didn’t send a greeting..? care to share how it became seungmin for you?

also i have a finished seungmin drabble jailed in my docs based on this devastating gif. want me to tag you when i drop it? 🤣

also yes that show 😭 i watched that bc i missed dream a lot but i haven’t got around to finishing it. i hope you’re enjoying it tho! they truly are a hilarious bunch. i saw a twt abt them though. that dream is a group of 20-year olds with 35 years of experience 🤣 they aren’t 4th gen but their ages make it seem like they are.

ah repetition both made us fall for gods menu and its glory. i still cant believe it didnt get one single win :( i personally preferred gods menu over back door but at least back door's music wins gave its sibling some justice. ugh same, i tend to stream mvs while studying but i usually end up watching the mv and the people in it instead haha.

also yes! get into cpop. i personally don't find their '4th gen' music (basically the new generation of kpop knockoffs) good because of its horrendous english grammar, but their music isn't mind blowing or anything anyways. i would recommend some ballads though, chinese ballads will remain superior forever.shotaro supremacy! i fell for him before i even started stanning nct, that says so much. and yes, ive watched his relay cam and fan cams multiple times, way before i stanned too haha. hes honestly so likeable.

lmao are you lactose intolerant? /g ice cream doesnt do much to me besides make me feel bloated. nowadays i prefer smoothies over it.

speaking of nct units coming back and skz, hot sauce just happened but we already have a 127 drop. i didnt think id see hyuck and mork in there D': give them a break sm. once again, title track isnt my taste at all, but maybe ill grow to like it after a few listens. ive surprisingly become a fan of hot sauce though. the hook and jaemins intro are super addicitng. 

stray kids world domination too! i didnt watch kingdom because im not available during the airing time but i streamed and looked at their performances and i have to say, no personal bias or anything, skz deserved that win :3 its all in good fun though, atz and tbz caught my eye and i might try getting into them in the near future hehe.

my ults are izone, skz, txt and enha! (i think you probably saw them already haha). my bias ults are jake and wonyoung. to be honest, with the amount of dream content im consuming daily, i think they might become one of my ults soon. argh i really want to write for them though.

no no your fics look so unique and spicy grrr. im really excited to read them! theyre different from typical fanfiction and im a sucker for that. hmm for recommendations, honestly anything sfw and fluffy is fine, i tend to love writing angst but im a sucker for reading fluff. ive been binging on lvdsc's works actually, so amazing argh. as for my works, ill probably private them...or move blogs? im still thinking about it.

skz bubbles! ah theyre always so fun on the app, did seungmin say anything interesting? as for how he became my bias, the memory's hazy but i think it was because i was looking at those september celebration videos (for han, seungmin and lix all together (?)) and just kind of fell for his gahs and his vlives. seungmin vlives are always so fun and relaxing, i like to do homework to them. especially that one vlive where he sang for 4 hours, that just made me fall in love with him more.

based on that gif, im assuming that the drabble is about nose booping? which i absolutely LOVE! YES! in fact, tag me in anything seungmin. anything. literally anything. that boy is my secret ult lmao.