#i cant believe she's been a teacher at this school since before i was even born

[charmedbystars]

can u do a fanfic for e-42 miles based on Super Shy by Newjeans 🙏🏽 the song is like REALLYY CUTE AND I CANT STOP LISTENING TO IT 😣😣

e-42 miles x shy reader

summary: y/n's mind is constantly processing on how to not be awkward around miles.

content: no warnings!

a/n: both of these asks were similar so i just decided to make it into one! these requests r so sweet. thank u anon🥹🥹. also I AGREE SUPER SHY BY NEW JEANS IS SO ADDICTIVE AND THE CHOREO IS SO CUTE!!

sitting with your friends at lunch, you peeked over your shoulder to take a look at the cute boy standing with his friends. nobody knew how badly the girl wanted to make a move and claim him as hers, but there was no way of that happening. 

you were fairly new to brooklyn and visions academy. you’ve been there for a couple months and settled in fine. on your first day of school, some girl approached you and invited you to sit with her and her friends at lunch. you weren’t the most outgoing person, so you were glad that someone reached out before you had to. 

“so y/n, do you think anyone is cute at this school?” one of your friends, layla, asked you. 

that snapped you from your thoughts, turning your head to look at your friends staring at you expectantly. you opened your mouth to say something before closing it again. you were way too scared for it to get out, not that you didn’t trust your friends, you just didn’t want anyone to overhear or constantly be teased by it. shaking your head ‘no’ your friends just went back to the conversation they were having. 

you sighed, looking over your shoulder once more before going back to eating your lunch. the rest of lunch zoomed by and you went to your next class. you had biology with miles, being one of the two classes you had with him. you sat three rows behind him, most classes staring at the back of his head. he’s never turned around or noticed, you’re pretty sure he doesn’t even know you exist. 

sitting in class, you just listened to the teacher explain the direction for a project she was assigning. it was a partner project that she would be assigning. hearing her call out names, your head snapped when you heard your name being followed by miles’ name. you couldn’t believe it. this was gonna be so bad because he made you nervous, you just imagine the whole thing being awkward. you starting shuffling the stuff on your desk, making space for miles who was walking over. he pulls up a chair and slides it across from you, the desk being in between you guys. you didn’t want to make eye-contact so you just played with your hands and bit your lips. miles raised a brow at your behavior thinking it was cute, while your thoughts were going crazy thinking you bombed your only opportunity. 

“i’m miles morales, you’re y/n right?” he asked trying to break the silence. you nodded in response and he gave you a grin before continuing, “so for the project, i was thinking we do the botany and ecology unit since the molecular biology unit is really long and i don’t really wanna do the genetics part.” 

you blessed miles in your mind, thanking him for starting the conversation easily. “uh, yeah i would be fine with that,” you responded. giving you a glanced, he responded “okay, cool” before turning to write in his notebook. 

“i’m not doing anything after school so we could meet in the library, can’t go to my dorm since my roommate is a pretty loud gamer,” he said. you simply nodded. the bell rang signifying that class was over. 

the school day passed and all you could think of is how you were gonna talk to miles after school without sounding stupid. now, you were naturally shy, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t have conversations or lots of friends. it was only miles who made you really nervous and you didn’t want to embarrass yourself in front of him or stumble over your friends.

walking over to the library, you had two paper cups in hand containing hot chocolate. you had wanted one and decided to get one for miles too (also maybe trying to win yourself some brownie points to make him like you a little bit). walking into the library, you look over, already seeing miles at a table with books spread out around him. walking up and stopping in front of him, you gave him a smile.

“i stopped by a cafe before coming here… i hope you like hot chocolate,” you said, trying to sound as calm as possible. miles looking up at you, gave you a grateful smile before grabbing the cup out of your hands. 

“thanks, make yourself at home since we gotta work on this shih.”

you followed by sitting down and started taking your books and notebooks out. after being spread out, miles gave you a piece of scratch paper with a draft of what he kinda wants to do for the project. reading over it, you deemed everything good and nodded at him. you both discussed where to begin and he shared a powerpoint with you. 

an hour passed and you start to feel more confident in your abilities to talk to miles. discussing work and occasional small talk has slightly taken away your nervousness of talking to the pretty boy. 

“i feel like we should put more detail and description on the photosynthesis pa-” you began. 

“can you say that again?”

“that we should put more detail on this part?”

“no, say photosynthesis.”

“photosynthesis?”

“the way you say that is cute, ma,” he grinned. 

your head literally malfunctioned at that moment. there was no way the boy that you have been pining over for the past month just called you cute. you simply nodded, not knowing how to respond when miles kept on pushing. 

“you know, i catch you staring at me a lot,” he smugly said, resting his chin on his hand. 

“i don’t know- i mean, sorry?”

“nah, i think it’s cute. i think your cute in general.”

you felt your face flush and looked to the side, scratching your neck. “thanks miles,” you tried to sound appreciative, but accepting compliments was so hard and weird for you. you didn’t want to come off as stuck up, but also didn’t want to come off as ungrateful either. thankfully, your shyness didn’t back miles off.

“you wanna go out with me sometime? we could go to that cafe you went to earlier. whatever is comfortable for you.”

miles saying that immediately brought you out of your shell. “wait, really?” you asked with a shocked look on your face. miles leaned back in his seat, nodding, “of course, hermosa.” you nodded fast, a big smile on your face. who was going to say no to a date with miles morales?

you both forgot existence of the project in that moment and kept on talking.

extra!

the next day at lunch, you were sitting with your friends talking. miles walked by your table and you gave him a small wave, he waved back following a grin before continuing to catch up with his friends. your friends looked at you in shock.

“uhm mrs. super shy? wanna tell us what that was about?” your friend asked.

“give us all the deets. you just got the school’s pretty boy attention.” your other friend asked. you sighed knowing that even after you explain, the questions and hype from your friends will be never ending. 

[hoe4sports]

So Long, London

Leah Williamson x reader

A/N: Please be sensitive about this. This is how i grew up and I’m going through a rough patch with my mother. This is based on «So Long, London» by Taylor Swift. Feel free to listen to the added song as you read this for extra feelings. Even if you dont like her, take a listen.

Summary: You grow up with a mother that refuses to work. You have to leave football to pay rent at 11. Your mother tells you that life is supposed to be hard. Until one day, Leah’s dad tells you that it’s not supposed to be this hard.

Warnings/triggers: Angst. Childhood poverty. Verb abuse.

I saw in my mind fairy lights through the mist,

I kept calm and carried the weight of the rift,

Your hand was trembling on the door handle. It was hard to sort out if it actually was your hand that was trembling from nervousness or your whole body from exhaustion. Tears pressed on your eyelids, but you knew better. Your lungs opted for a deep breath to stop the shaky breaths that had been running wild since you started walking back home from work.

It was cold outside. The kind of cold that leaves your body shivering so bad that when you finally get inside, it feels like your core is frozen. God, you think. You are so tired. Yet, you cant seem to enter your own house. Well, it’s not really your house. It’s your mother’s house that she rents. Actually, she rents but you pay.

You take a deep breath before pulling yourself together. Building up your invisible shield to protect you from your own blood. Not physically, but mentally. “Just one more month”, your mother says. She says that every month. And every month, you believe her. The believing her is what keeps you going. “Just one more month, then you can focus on middle school again.” That’s what your mother always say. She has been telling you that for years. You continue to believe it. Maybe she will try to get a job next month. Except, she won’t.

“Life is supposed to be hard” is what your mother would always reply like it was the solution to all the problems in the world. To her, it was. To you, it was the cause of all your problems. You are only 11. You are supposed to be playing in the sun with your girlfriends from school. You are supposed to be chasing your dreams with your team. You are supposed to like to dress up in pretty dresses. You are supposed to go to tournaments with you bestfriends, Leah, Ella and Alessia. You are supposed to be free from adulting worries. You are supposed to be a child. But you cant. Your mother refuses to work, and your baby sister needs roof over her head. And your mother refuses. So you work. Because it’s just, one more month.

You are lost in your thoughts when your hand opens the door startling you. Your feet step inside the hallway, but it feels like your head is still outside. Like it’s floating away like a balloon, a million miles above your house. Your trembling hands puts your backpack down before it quietly unzips your coat. It’s soaked. But that is expected, you have been walking with the news paper for hours. The shoes on your feet gets neatly put away in the shelf. But you stop. You take them and the coat with you into your room, not wanting to take up too much space.

When you make it to your bedroom, you feel safe. It’s not really a bedroom, it used to be a pantry but it fits a bed and a small desk. It’s sad that it doesn’t have windows, but you like it regardless because it keeps the cold somewhat out. The coat gets put up on the pole of your bed and the shoes gets put next to the wall. You take your backpack off and place it down infront of you. The coldness of your hands are still present, but it’s okay. Life is supposed to be hard. You unzip your backpack to find the contents soaked, again. Your belly hurts. You promised your teacher to keep your books dry. Now, they are ruined. They are falling apart at the seam. You try to place it on your desk, standing up while you spread the pages hoping it will dry. Maybe you can try to glue it close when you get to school.

The door creaks and your head freezes. “Did you make any money tonight?” Your mother asks. You nod before emptying your pockets. 110 punds. Your shaking hand offers them to your mother. She smiles. She always does when you give her the money she needs. “Thank you, don’t stay up too late” she says as she leaves the room. You cant help but frown. You are so painfully tired. You get up at 5 every morning. You walk your neighbour, Mrs. Tiller’s dog for 5 p every morning. Then, at 6, you walk to school. You reach school just before 8. Your mother used to drive you. Then when she couldn’t afford the car, you catch the bus. But the cost of tickets rised, so now you walk. School is over at 4 every day. Then you walk home. Usually, you are home around 6.30 because you are tired. It forces you to walk slower. Sometimes you stop and sit on a bench to rest. Around 7, you head out to give out the news papers for tomorrow. There was no routes available close to your house, and most people won’t hire an eleven year old. So you take what you get given. From 7 to 11.30, you walk with the news papers. Sometimes, you get tips, explanations if it rains or if you are sick. Because people feel bad for you. But you don’t care, because life is supposed to be hard. Your eyes are tired as you try to do your homework from you soaked books. You end up sitting at your desk, close to falling asleep. But, it’s okay, you think. It’s only for one more month. Expect, it isn’t.

And you say I abandoned the ship,

But I was going down with it,

You are now 14. One more month, your mother still says. Every time you tell her that you feel like you can’t catch your breath. Just one more month. You now know that’s not true. That it’s forever. But you smile and keep quiet. You never make a fuss. You pretend to believe her. As long as you pay the rent, your mother doesn’t care. But, life is supposed to be hard, so it’s okay. You skip school to work at the local gas station. But your mother doesn’t know that you work there. She thinks you still walk with newspaper. It hurts to lie to her. She likes you, she says. But, she loves your sister.

Your mother hates lying. She yells at you if you lie. But your boss is your friend Leah’s dad. He gives you one check a month. Just enough to cover the rent. But he pays for your football with your friends. And he sneaks you cash when he can. That way, your mother doesn’t get suspicious. It hurts to lie, you think. It makes you feel on edge. Like you are always on guard. Like someone will come rip it all away from you. But it’s okay, life is supposed to be hard.

One day, you come home from work and from practice. You make sure to not come home too early. So you wait at the field, not wanting to cause any suspicion in your mother. It’s the same routine still. You come home, bring your clothes to your room, your mother comes in to ask for money and then she leaves.

One day, that goes all wrong. You come home too soon. You don’t mean to come home too soon, but you do. The exhaustion is ripping you apart and you need to sleep. So you sneak into your room with your clothes. But you forgot to change out of the pair of hand-me-down shorts Leah’s mom gave you and you are still wearing Leah’s brother’s old club shirt. It makes your mother furious. She tells you that you are an awful kid. That you are irresponsible. That she wishes someone could come and take you away so she doesn’t have to deal with you. And you don’t say anything back, you keep your head down and let her tell you how awful you are. She forces you to change and she then takes your shorts and t-shirt away. Then she slams the door shut. And she doesn’t talk to you for weeks.

After pleading your mother to speak to you, to aknowledge you for weeks. She looks at you with disappointment in her eyes. You try to explain. Football is the only thing that brings you happiness. And your coach says that you have real talent. That you might make it. Your mother tells you that might dosent get you anywhere. That football is for immature children. That you need to be a responsible adult and work. You nod. But, you aren’t an adult. You are a child. You are 14. But, life is supposed to be hard, your mother says. And you quit football. Because life isn’t supposed to be fun. Life is supposed to be hard.

My white knuckle dying grip,

Holding tight to your quiet resentment and,

My friends said it isn't right to be scared,

Every day of a love affair.

You keep the schedule. Work-School-Work. Until you are 15. One day, you get called to the front desk. You feel scared. Maybe your mother finally got someone to take you away? So you could stop being a burden. For a split second, the thought of someone taking you away, relieves the heavy feeling you have in your gut. Maybe, just maybe, things will be better, you think. But, you find your old coach at school, Leah’s dad. Rather, he manages to pull you out of your class to talk to you. The sight of him makes you want to cry. You want to ask him to take you away. To find some other family that you can live in. Maybe one of the group homes you learn about in social studies isn’t that bad. But you lie. You tell him, The joy you felt playing football is gone. And you haven’t been able to feel that kind of joy since. But you tell him that it’s okay. That life is supposed to be hard.

He frowns and shakes his head. He says that life isn’t supposed to be this hard. That kids needs to get to play and have fun. That you aren’t supposed to work when you are 11. That your mother is supposed to be working. You think about believing him. That his word might be true. But you remember. Your mother warned you. That people will try to convince you otherwise. So you shut him down. You tell him that you just don’t life football anymore. That it’s boring. But all you want to do is cry.

You turn your back to him while he calls your name. But you continue walking all the way down the hallway. To the left and then up the stairs. To the right and to your classroom. You quietly slip into the room finding your seat, doing your best at being invisible. Leah furrows her brows at you and tries to whisper something about what happened. You try to smile to her, but it dosent look real. Not at all. You can’t really smile anymore. Because you are so tired. You work all day and do homework all night. Your grades suffers from that. But, you think that it’s okay. Life is supposed to be hard, you think.

A week later, after working a night shift, you go back to school. Still in the same clothes as yesterday. When you get into your classroom, you slip quietly into your spot next to Leah. She smiles at you. And you try to smile back. But, you are just so tired. She asks you if you are okay. And she knows about your mother. She asks if your mother is being tough on you. You think about telling her the truth. But you just shrug. You smile sadly at her, and tell her that life is supposed to be hard.

When you get to work that night, Leah and her dad is there. You light up. Are you working tonight, you ask. But you know the answer. She dosent work. She doesn’t have too. She focus on football. On getting better. On being a child. Leah’s dad shakes his head. He says that it has gone on too long. That you need help. That your mother needs help. You feel offended. You don’t need help, you think. You pay the rent, you think. You are responsible. But when you want to argue with him, Leah looks at you with her warm smile. She asks if you want to sleep over. And you think about it. Your mother wouldn’t know. But you have work, you tell her. She looks at her father, he says you can have the night off. You can’t afford that, you say. But he smiles, he says that he will make sure you get pained. So you agree. To go home to Leah and sleep at her place.

When you get to her house, it’s like you want to cry. You get a warm bath with bubbles and bathbombs. As you dry off, you smell dinner. Her mom has made your favourite. Spaghetti and meatballs. Red sauce. Salad and garlic bread with Parmesan. You look at the dinner on the plate and you dig in. The feeling of being full is something you don’t really get a lot, so you feel tired and warm and fussy. You and Leah go to bed in her room. But before you do, Leah needs to go get her backpack from the car. While you wait, her mom pulls you aside. She tells you that you can always tell her if you need help. If you need somewhere to stay. That she thinks of you as her second daughter. And if it wasn’t for you being so full and warm and fluffy inside, you would’ve gotten angry. But you don’t. You thank her. Then Leah comes back and you go to her bedroom. Her nice room with soft carpets. And curtains. And a nice mirror with lights on them. She even has a big bed with two nightstands. You borrow some soft pyjamas. They look brand new, and you decline. But Leah says it’s okay. That she can get new ones. So you accept. Leah has already fallen asleep. So you scoot into her for comfort. Her soft snores are comforting, you think. And you cuddle up to her. She wraps her hands around you in her sleep. Like when you were kids. She’s still your bestfriend. You close your eyes. But you hear the door of Leah’s bedroom going up. You open one of your eyes slightly. Just enough to see, but not enough to let them see that you are awake. It’s her mom. She comes in. She kisses Leah’s forehead. She moves around to your side and kisses your forehead too. Then she wraps the comforter around you both. Just like she did when you were kids. But you still are kids. You feel confused as you lay there with closed eyes. Maybe life isn’t supposed to be this hard.

The next morning, you get ready together. You get another shower and you borrow some of Leah’s clothes. They are nice and warm. You don’t really have warm clothes anymore. It’s too expensive. But Leah’s parents takes care of her, and of you. Her dad has already turned on the car to warm it up before he drops you off at school. When you stand in the kitchen, waiting for Leah. Her mom looks at you with tears in her eyes. She tucks your hair behind your ear. And you feel the tears pressing too. You throw yourself around her. She hugs you back as you cry. And she holds you. You look up at her while you shake. You both know that you are not going back to your mothers house. But you don’t know what to say.

Maybe life isn’t supposed to be this hard, you say. And Leah’s mother understands.

So how much sad did you think I had,

Did you think I had in me?

How much tragedy?

Just how low did you think I'd go?

Before I'd self-implode,

Before I'd have to go be free

You sit across from your mother. It’s an office. It’s bright and white and clinical. You stay with Leah’s parents now. And you don’t work. But you play football again. Your mother crosses her arms as the therapist talks. You look down at your shoes. The eyes of your mother is burning into your chest. You feel a cry gather up in your throat. And you want to run away. To hide. To never come back. A part of you wishes you never asked for help. But a part of you knows that, if you didn’t get help. If Leah’s mother didn’t help you. You wouldn’t be here’s

She’s making up things, your mother says. You don’t bother arguing. You just stare at the floor while your mother takes a verbal stab at you infront of the therapist. She’s irresponsible, she’s says. Ungrateful, she says. The anger is building up in her voice. And you feel scared. Like when you were 11. And walked the streets to hand out the newspaper. In the middle of the night. To pay rent. But you don’t say anything. You just look at the therapist. She raises a brow at you. And you nod.

The therapist smiles and stands up. A second later , Leah’s mom comes into the room. There aren’t any chairs close to you. But, she sits next to you. Moving the chairs around, arranging for you to feel safe. It’s nice, you think. Leah’s mom is perfect. She is kind. Helpful. And she won’t say mean things about you. Not even when you aren’t there. Her hand takes yours. It’s magical, you think. You feel safer. Warmer. Stronger. Just as if her hands have superpowers.

The therapist continues on talking. You can’t really underatand everything. You are just tired. Even though you have stayed at Leah’s for a few weeks, you still feel tired. Leah’s mom got worried, so she took you to the doctor. You hadn’t really been there before, but she came with her. The doctor did tests and took you blood. Then he told you that you were burned out. That he was pulling you out of school for a few weeks. That you needed to do something fun. Fun to you was football. Or used to bed but it was too late to play now. You got scared, but Leah’s mom said that she was gonna take care of it. You felt scared to believe her, but you did. And she took care of it. You got a tutor that helped you better your grades. You started football with Leah, and you loved it again. You feel like you might die if you have to go to your mother again.

The therapist talks. Leah’s mom says that you are kind. That you help out at home without being told to. That she sometimes stops you from overworking yourself. That she reminds you to be a kid. That you are respectful. And polite. And, easy to love. You feel warm inside when Leah’s mom talks about you. But you can see your mother’s face when you look up. She is angry. Her face is tight. And she’s smirking at you in a way that scares you, like payback.

The therapist then talks to you. He asked you questions and you don’t really know the answers to anything. You shrug and hold on to Leah’s mom. To comfort. To her love. The room is silent as you mother looks at you. Leah’s mom looks at you. The therapist looks at you. You gulp before looking your mother in her eyes. You hold Leah’s mom tight. Life isn’t supposed to be this hard, you say.

You swore that you loved me but where were the clues?

I died on the altar waiting for the proof,

You sacrificed us to the gods of your blues

You stay with Leah’s parents. Permanently, you decided. You get new clothes. And a bedroom with fairy lights. And carpets. And a desk. And a big bed. And clothes. And cleats and workout clothes. Even a new phone and a computer for your school work. You like it, but you feel scared. Maybe this is too much, you think. Maybe you are too expensive, you worry. But Leah’s mom reads your mind. She assures you that you deserve a space for you. That you need things. A room. Clothes. That you deserve dignity.

Life gets better from here. When Leah celebrates her 16th birthday with your 16th birthday, you feel sad. You don’t know many people. But you are happy for Leah. Because her family is coming over with gifts for her. You decide to wait upstairs as you sniffle before putting your new summer dress on. It’s pink and it’s the nicest dress that you own. The only dress you own. You hear Leah callling from downstairs, and you feel embarrassed that you made her wait for her gifts so you hurry down. But you stop mid stairs. Leah’s family has gather at the bottom of the stairs. They have gifts and cake and balloons in their hands. And they all yell, surprise! It makes you confused until Leah comes up and grabs your hand. She tells you that it’s your gifts. Your cakes. Your ballons. And your family. You feel grateful as you tear up. You blow your candles for the first time ever and her family hugs you. It feels safe. It feels like home. Home with Leah and her family.

She’s your bestfriend. But after your birthday party. You lay in the big swing in the garden together. Looking at clouds. Hearts. Starts. Balls. Cats. The skies has shapes. You haven’t really noticed it before. Leah grabs your hand as you both lay there. And you grab hers. It feels safe with Leah. She has been your bestfriends since you went to kindergarten together. But that changes. Leah kisses you. And you kiss her back. And suddenly, you are girlfriends.

At night, you get your makeup off and put your new soft pjs on. You start to think that this life is good. This is how life was supposed to be. And you feel like you might have accepted it. That it’s okay to feel happy. That this is what a family feels like. You start brushing your hair before preparing to braid it. You sit in the chair watching your hands brain in the mirror. You hear your phone buzz, and you look at it. It’s your mother. For the first time in a year. And you spiral. Immediately bursting into Leah’s room and her arms. She holds you tight. Her mother brings tea and you watch a movie together. Eventually, you pass out from exhaustion. And Leah, deletes the message. Leah says, life isn’t supposed to be this hard before she kisses the top of you head keeping you safe.

And I'm just getting color back into my face,

I'm just mad as hell cause I loved this place,

For so long, London

You are 17 now, and you finally got an offer to play for a club. You and Leah, got an offer together. But you don’t know how to feel. You are leaving to play. Leah is playing for Arsenal. She has been for a year. You got accepted into the girls under 18’s squad, but you made big progress. You didn’t think that it could be this good, that you deserved a life like this. But here you are. Leah’s mom and dad comes to every game. If you and Leah play at the same time; they split up so you can have someone there for you. You are scared to admit it, but you love it.

But now, Barcelona is knocking on your door. Leah’s door aswell. Leah has set her heart to leave. Barcelona is the greatest women’s club in the world, and she is one of the greatest players of her age. You are not there yet, but you get there eventually. But you don’t know that yet.

You feel scared. If Leah leaves and you stay behind, then she might break up with you. But she reassures you that she won’t. Because she loves you. And she chose you. Then you feel scared again. If Leah leaves and you stay behind, then where are you gonna stay. Leah’s mom laughs and says that this is your home too. That you can stay here for as long as you wish before you grow up. She says that you can go and come back if it gets too much.

That makes you feel safe. Leah’s family makes you feel safe. Her dad helps you make a decision. He tests your speed. Your strength. Your one vs one. Your dribbles. Your shots. Your agility. He watches Barcelona’s games on the tv with you. You analyse the team together taking notes to see if it matches with your current shape.

After a week, you call Barcelona back. You hang up after the call feeling empty as you walk down stairs. Leah sits down in the living room with her mom and her dad. They all look at you. Her dad looks worried. Leah looks terrified. Her mom smiles at you, like she always does. Always creating a safe heaven for you.

You gulp. Leah asks you, did you decline, she says. You swallow as you sight. Tears starts to press on your eyelids and your phone feels like it burns holes in your pockets. Leah takes a step towards you. You can see tears in her eyes too. You let out a breath and look at her.

Life isn’t supposed to be this hard, you say. I am going with you to Barcelona, you confirm and Leah breaks out in a huge smile. She pulls you in for a hug. Her mom and dad hugs you both at the same time. Your mom and dad hugs you both at the same time. A family hug.

A moment of warm sun,

But I'm not the one,

So long, London

You stare at your bags. You stare at Leah’s bags. Your dad looks at the bags before he starts shuffling them around to fit into the trunk of his car. Somehow, he makes it happen. You have dinner together for the last time. Spaghetti, meatballs, salad, garlic bread with Parmesan. Your favourite. It feels like the end of an era. You feel stronger now. Like you have grown into a woman. You have more respect for yourself now.

After dinner, you all drive to the airport. Ready to take on the world together. You and Leah, in your new apartment in Barcelona. As you pass through busy London streets, you pass people. Elders, youngsters, families and kids. You pass stores like Claire’s and primark. You pass a football field with little girls playing football. It makes you smile. You think about how one of those girls might be the next big thing. How all they need is one person who believes in them. One person to change it all.

You look over at Leah who is asleep. She always does this, falls asleep in rides. Trains, cars or planes; she always falls asleep. You grab your phone and go to the message section. You decide to type in a message. The message is to your mother, former mother. You tell her that you are moving to Spain. To play football with Leah. That your parents are diving you to the airport. That you hope she rottens away alone. And to never contact you again.

As you press send; you block her number. You look up when it’s done feeling 100 kilos lighter. Outside, the rain suddenly dries up and sun breaks through the heavy sky. You lower your shoulders as you breathe in the London smell for the last time, at least for a while. It’s good. You know that this is the start of your life. This is you prioritising you. That this is what you need. A place to call home, that doesn’t have any memories of your former mother.

At the airplane, you get to sit next to the window. You put your phone in airplane mode and watches as the flight takes off. The trees becomes small underneath you. The houses becomes like small sheds. The horses looks like grains of rice and you look over to Leah who is fast asleep holding you hand. You smile as you turn your head back to the window. The sun is shining more and more as you move higher up. You look at the familiar landscape while it disappears and whisper underneath your breath,

So long, London.

[mouthfullofmunson]

Okay but Eddie and witch reader

They are both the freaks of Hawkins

She is pinned as the baby eating witch and he is a cult leader, both probably “devil worshippers”

She’s 18 and he’s 20 ofc

I think their styles are a lot alike, dark clothes, both with curly/wavy shag haircuts

They both have shitty families who kind of abandoned them

He lives with his uncle and she lives with her aunt

she even lives a couple trailers down from him

And to cope with their shitty lives they became obsessed with their “weird” interests

Eddie, d&d and guitar. Y/n crystals and all things witchcraft

They both know of each other but haven’t talked enough to really know each other

But they’ve been teased for absolutely forever and people making rumors that they were together

So one day they bump into each other and Eddie is teasing “hi baby eating witch”

“Hi cult leader”

And when they need to find a sub for hellfire since lucas has a game, Eddie goes to y/n to see if she knows how to play

And sadly, she doesn’t, but she is very willing to learn

So Eddie let’s her observe the hellfire game, making sure she takes notes during it and watches every move

And before they know it they are hanging out after school while Eddie teachers her how to play d&d

And since she was so willing to learn what he thinks is kind of boring to her he makes a deal with her and let’s her teach him about the crystals she’s always carrying and the witchcraft books she always reads

So she lends him a few books about witchcraft and he actually reads them- or attempts to

And his friends notice it before him

“Eddie are you… are you reading a book?”

They all watch him flip through the book at lunch

“Yeah, why does it matter to you?”

“You never read?”

“I read stuff!”

“Is it because of that girl? You have to be in love with her to be reading an actual book!”

And that’s when he realizes that he actually has a crush on the baby eating witch

So he becomes hyper aware of it when they hang out for their little lessons

And y/n notices that he’s being weird so she tries to say something but he shuts her down

“No I’m not being weird?! You’re being weird. You’re the weirdo.”

“Yeah, you’re just being extra weird today, freak.”

And he’s so terrified but he keeps looking at her lips while she talks and y/n notices it and gets frustrated after he ignores her words and watches her lips so she finally leans in and kisses him

And she’s surprised at how much she likes it

But she’s also had a thing for him since she was in the third grade and he was a big fifth grader

But he taste like cigarettes and the orange juice he stole from the cafeteria at school, drinking it straight out of the carton

Eddie is completely frozen but his brain forces him to move his lips with hers

And once she pulls away he is completely breathless

And a little terrified

Because he’s not had many kisses like that in his life

Most girls just want a quick hook up with him because they guessed he was desperate and wouldn’t tell anyone as long as they gave him a fuck- which was partly right…

And he freaks out a little until

“Why are you so shocked? You’ve been watching my mouth like a hawk for an hour now.”

And his head is racing and he cant help but think about what else her mouth can do 😕

So of course he pops a boner after the kiss

And there is no hiding it

When y/n notices she’s instantly flattered, and excited that Eddie munson has a hard on because of her

So she sinks onto his laundry covered floor and sits between his legs, asking him if she can pull his pants down

And beside answering her questions all he can do is lean back on his hands and watch with wide eyes and his mouth slightly ajar

He could believe the girl he read a book for actually likes him back, and actually kissed him, and is giving him a blow job?!

I think he would cum kind of quick

He didn’t know she had him so worked up until he finally got her

And then when she sits there, wiping her eyes and trying to catch her breath, he instantly feels guilty and knows he should return the favor

So he’s offering to eat her out- insisting actually, even though she said it’s no big deal and he doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want

But he does want

He’s fantasies about her taste far too long to pass up the opportunity

Especially when he was peeking up her skirts any chance he got to see if she was bare under or if her thin panties showed the print of her

So they trade spots and he gets on his knees, helping her pull her dark blue lace panties down her thighs before he’s diving him

Hoping everything he’s doing feels good because he’s only had quick fucks with people who only bothered to get dick and leave

So he was worried especially since he never got the chance to give head before

Just doing whatever make her moan the loudest

And when she cums he’s so proud of himself

Having to refrain from jumping up, run around the trailer, then come back and get a double high five from her

It becomes a normal thing

Calling y/n over every other night so they can give each other head, maybe teach each other about d&d or witch craft, nap, and then she’s back to her trailer

And y/n invites him over to her trailer, apologizing for the overwhelming smell of incense, her aunt was a huge hippie and taught her everything she knew

So the trailer was decked out in witchy decor, loud colors, beaded curtains everywhere

And Eddie is so shocked her room is so nice, moon printed midnight blue bedding with neat little rugs by her bed and by her desk, no trash on the floor, no porno mags, her clothes all clean and neatly hung up or folded

And that night they finally have sex, candles going and the smell of y/n’s ‘full moon’ incense burning into their clothes

And they both decide that that’s when they are officially boyfriend and girlfriend

But they don’t acknowledge it until Eddie passes on plans with Dustin because he’s “going over to his girlfriends house” that night for a “family dinner”

Which means Wayne is coming over on his day off and meeting his sons girlfriend aunt for the first time and they are having a proper meeting

Wayne and y/n’s aunt would hit it off

And y/n’s aunt would absolutely adore Eddie

And Wayne would love y/n

Wayne would get so happy when y/n came over and he was there to sit and have a cup of coffee with her because she’s just so nice to talk to, there’s no work in the conversation it’s always light and breezy

And y/n’s aunt would be so excited when Eddie came over for a proper dinner instead of y/n shoving them in her room all night, only coming out when they want snacks

:)

[unpopularshipbracket]

Round 2b Match 1

Rashmi Jamil/Amelie Macon (Entropic Float)

Fic count: 0

Milo/Piers (Pokemon)

fic count: 29

"COUNTRY BOY X EMO CITY BOY, HIMBO X GOTH, SHORT AND STRONG X TALL AND SKINNY, SUNSHINE ONE X GRUMPY ONE C'MON GUYS THEY'RE EVERYTHING it is MIND boggling they aren't more popular"

Rashmelie propaganda under cut!

Rashmelie:

"this essay is going to be reused whole cloth from the submission of them to the 17 million years of pining poll! because unfortunately i do not have the energy to go insane enough to write up anything new oh.

my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

okay so, theyve been friends since early childhood, and before either of them came out (Rashmi is agender, they/them, while Amelie is a trans girl, she/her, and they are both mspec which is a bit less relevant but is also there). the earliest time that we know that they have feelings for each other is when theyre both 14, and Rashmi - already out, with their entire family (parents and grandma) supporting them without question - is moving. uhhh 90% of american geography names are the same to me so i might lie there. from Nevada, where they both grew up, to New York, where Rashmi is planning on studying dance further, which has always been their plan; around 14 is when they ran out of teachers at home.

they quietly hope Amelie doesnt confess her feelings for them, as they fear it might tempt them to stay, which they cannot allow themself to do. Amelie, meanwhile, is very carefully not thinking about gender, because her parents are quite frankly the worst. over the course of the years before they meet back up, Amelie has had some dates, but each time, they dont work out, and in her own words, put logs on the flame she carries for Rashmi.

Rashmi, meanwhile. gets married. one of Rashmi's biggest struggles in their romantic pursuits has been the fact that they are both Indian and queer. it has been a struggle for them to find someone who respects both - someone who respects their gender identity while not throwing their culture under the bus. that is one of the factors contributing to the way their relationship with "Ajay" (we learn that this name isnt his real one, but it was magically replaced in Rashmi's memories of him and we dont know it) played out: he is also Indian, and the first thing he asked them upon meeting them was what their pronouns were. and it was all good.

until it wasnt.

i would love to get into that deeper, but the important point is that "Ajay" is kind of a piece of garbage, whose crimes include finding Rashmi's address when they didnt give it out, deliberately not sending Amelie her wedding invitation because Rashmi told him they used to have a crush on her, driving them to drop out of dance school, and general possessiveness (notable being the fact that, whenever he is home, he always asks them to stay home too, which leads to them dropping their social circle and their hobbies). one of the places it grows from is "Ajay" being ace and not quite believing that Rashmi accepts that. he also has a substance abuse problem.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

in the meantime... god, i cant even figure out what parts of information are important about Amelie here. i would put as notable the fact that she only figured out she was a girl something like a year before the events of the game - and only ever came out to Rashmi, who in turn told their parents...

and who didnt realize that Amelie's workplace didnt know. her workplace is just. terrible in social terms. she loves the work itself (its food industry, a restaurant in a casino, dont remember the exact job description) but her coworkers are being the absolute worst. a cesspool of toxic masculinity. also an environment for Amelie's undiagnosed psychosis. she is prone to auditory hallucinations.

after being outed to her boss while also hearing from Rashmi's parents that their husband is... lets just say bad for them, she, while safely at home, hallucinates that her boss or maybe her father is breaking down the door.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

these are not widely understood; from the context of the game, it seems as though some people get a Wish when in significant peril, or in distress. you do not need to use the Wish immediately as you get it, but they both did.

essentially, what Rashmi Wishes for is a way to escape from their husband that wouldnt raise a fuss; and Amelie Wishes for a place where she and Rashmi can both be safe. (i am very muddly on the details there) their Wishes create the anomalous clocktower where the game takes place."

[chrissesbabe]

Painting-Matt Sturniolo

Guys, this is my first time writing on here, I used to write on wattpad and a bitch had 14k reads for it to be taken down but its fine[screaming retching, crying on the inside], so now I'm going to bless yous all with my writing. Hehe. Also, sorry for any spelling mistakes or the use of incorrect grammar first a cannit spell and a have a thick accent, sorry.

WARNINGS- smut and lots of it.

Y/N- pov

To say the least, I love art, my first true love, along with Matt, following close second. Me and Matt are best friends, we have been since we were little. Me and matt came as a pare, we still do.

To me, he's a work of art, the funniest most beautiful person on the planet but, he's clueless to the fact, I have loved him since the day we met, in first grade.

Butterfly's erupt amongst my stomach, when even Matt slightly touches me, or looks at me a certain way, I cannot take my eyes off him. But, I am absolutely petrified via the fact, if I confess my love to Matt, things may become awkward and we lose our precious friendship, or we break up and never speak. So for all these long, tedious years it has been my biggest secret.

Within, my years of high school, I have always done art, its my favourite subject, Matt adores my love of art. He thinks its cool and quirky like me and believes, I have great skill, which always makes me blush.

For one of my art projects I decided to photograph Matt, I paint a plethora of portraits and I have never loved painting anyone more than Matt. I make sure to capture, his soft brunette locks, ocean blue eyes, chiselled cheeks and perfectly shaped pinkie lips.

Sometimes, in art I often stare in awe of my best friends beauty, I just simply cannot get enough. Recently, for a new project my teacher asked me to paint a live portrait. Normally, I use reference photos but now, I must get Matt to sit Infront of me for hours so I can paint him. I can't wait, staring at Matt for hours, my dream, possibly not his, but he agreed as he loves watching me do what I love.

My phone begins to buzz as I see matts name pop up on my screen.

"Hey, y/n I'm coming over now, so you can do that painting thingy, can't wait." I smile to myself as I read the message, I cant fucking wait.

MATTS POV-

I see Y/N reply to my message with,

"Okay, the doors unlocked, can't wait to paint your ugly face."

I have been looking forward to this, ever since y/n asked me, it may sound silly, but the thought of seeing y/n with her concentrating face having fun, provides me with so much enjoyment. I love her art, it reflects how beautiful she is, and how amazing her talent is.

Y/n honestly gets me through life, without her support I don't know what I would do, through creating me and my brothers channel she was and always has been our biggest supporter, and I love her for it, along with much more.

Quickly, I walk to my car, and buckle myself in, giddly I drive to her house, in anticipation for the day. Wondering into her house, I hear her shout my name as I run up the stairs, waiting for the sweet moment until I see her angelic face.

She looks beautiful as ever, sitting calmly on her desk chair with a easel and a rainbow of colourful paints laid out neatly on her desk.

Her smile warms my heart, as I walk over to her.

"Hey, cant fucking wait for this." I exclaim, embracing her in a long soft hug, as she wraps her slender arms around my shoulders, making my dick harden.

YOUR POV-

"mhm", I mumble into Matts neck, his hugs always make me feel so warm inside.

He sits down on the bed, as I take creative liberty and move his hair from his face, positioning it even more perfectly than it was before, and moving his shoulders so he's facing the perfect angle for me to capture his features.

I giggle to myself, at how silly he looks just sitting waiting for me to paint his features. He furrow's his eyebrows at me.

"What are you laughing at?" He bellows in confusion within his low and raspy voice, giving me tingles for no reason.

"You just look so silly." He giggles, and shoves my arm. I sit down and begin sketching him, making sure to capture his sharp angular features.

Patently, he sits, he sits and waits for me to draw him, occasionally, i glance over and smile within which, he returns.

Hitting a dilemma, I must move matts face.

"Is it okay, if I just rotate your face slightly," I ask confidently, and he nods. I move my hands cupping his soft face and slightly move his face forward and adjust his earing.

I can't help it but, I accidently, brush my finger over his lips, innocently and kiss his cheek, which I normally do, but this was different. Matt blushes as I pull away and begin sketching once again.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Matt shuffling, and notice him adjusting his pants.

Omg, I think he's hard. There's no way, well at least not from thinking of me, but I'm the only person here, did I make my best friend hard.

Taking my opportunity, I sweetly adjust his posture, for the drawing, I tell him, I moved my hands over his legs pushing them further apart, for the drawing, I tell myself.

Untill, I look down, making eye contact with Matt, his eyes are filled with lust and sheer sex.

Is this really happening, I question to myself.

Matt snakes his hands around my waist, pulling me closer to his chest as we maintain eye contact, he looks down at my lips and grips my arse.

"Matty, baby we can't." I signal secretly, not wanting him to stop.

"Call me, baby one more time and i'll never stop." he answers sternly, I smile at him smugly allowing him full consent, to do whatever the fuck he wants to me. Eagerly, Matt interlocks his lips with mine, and I return, he slips his tongue across my lips, tugging at them with his teeth, immediately making me more wet than I already am.

Slow soft kisses, morph into wet, sloppy needy kisses as, I swipe my hand across his pulsating dick. I need his dick in my mouth right the fuck now.

I pull back, in awe of my best friend since childhood, with his hard dick clothed under my hand. Matt, pushes his two slender fingers into my mouth, pushing them in and out repeatedly, as I suck on them, making me want to wrap my mouth around his dick more.

I take this upon myself to drop down onto my knees and provide him with a innocent look.

"Baby, let me help you." I whisper seductively.

"Of course princess." Matt whimpers and forms my hair into a ponytail. My pussy, aches for him, as I pull his pants down and release his hard dick. Fuck me, it nearly took me out, its huge.

"Matt, I don't think it'll fit." I asked intently.

"It will, I'm sure you can do it." His words of support, give me all the confidence I need.

I pick his dick up, and treat it like my worst enemy, spitting up it and rubbing my hand up and down his dick, spreading my spit all over, making sure to rub his tip in the process.

Wrapping my mouth around his hard member, I begin to bob up and down, pumping him with my hand. Forcing him to release soft groans and aches of pleasure. After a few minutes of looking up and giving him the sex eyes, along with precum coating my lips, Matt begins to twitch.

He, pushes my head down harder onto his dick, and bucks up into my mouth, compelling me to choke on his dick.

"Mhm, fuck yes baby, going to make Daddy cum, ye?" Matt mumbles.

I nod and moan into Matt's dick, which only makes me gagg more.

Matt picks up his whimpers, making me almost cum from his sounds. Suddenly, Matt releases and coats my mouth with his cum, as it drip's down onto my reddish lips.

I smirk to Matt and rub my hand up his dick and gently touch his tip, knowing how sensitive he is from cumming that hard.

"Let me make you feel good, princess." Making me fold, I interlock my lips with his, and he pulls my lace pantys down and pulls my oversized graphic t of.

Revealing my tits, Matt stares in awe of how big they are.

"How have you been hiding these." As he says this, he takes one nipple into his mouth leaving hickies all over my tits and rolls, my other nipple with his finger, making my head fall back in blissful pleasure.

"Ride me baby." Matt moans out, rubbing my clit, with my moist wetness, and pulls me down onto him. Slowly, I push his tip into me, moaning at his girth, ass I attempt to push him all the way in.

"Relax gorgeous let me in." Within his words, he guides me down onto him. Almost screaming, I begin to grind onto him. He places his hands onto my arse and slapps it aggresivly, causing me to release a pornographic moan. Making him smile in a lustful manor.

I begin to pick up my pase, chasing my orgasm and Matt's whimpers of pleasure edging me even more.

"You should paint this position." Matt groans out.

"Ohhh, fuck yes Daddy." I scream as I begin to sense that familiar euphoric feeling in the pit of my stomach form. What a great idea.

"Matt, Matt, I'm going to cum."

"Cum with with me y/n" My legs begin to shake uncontrollably, as I release around his dick, smothering my pussy in both our juices.

I drop a sweat peck on Matts lips, before I lay down next to him, my art supplies scattered everywhere.

"Y/N." Matt softly asks.

"Yes, Matt."

"I love you."

"I have loved you since the day I met you."

Hoped you enjoyed this you absolute sluts, I just came up with this on the spot and then me vape died, nearly cried. But I haven't seen anything like this before, hehe love art, thought a was being different and quirky. I have missed writing omg, if you have any suggestions make sure to message me, might not be able to do loads tho, as I have lots of revision.

[gale-gentlepenguin]

Gale Reviews: ML Season 5 episode 21 Confrontation

Spoilers below

-Ohhh okay, starting out with the drama bomb

-So for those that forgot (Like me) Gabriel is sending adrien to London for Private school. And Adrien cant fill out the orientation form because of it

-Plagg... My boy. No cheese jokes.

-So all the students are stressed about the meeting

-Oh so Marinette also got the guilt that now that Lila is the class rep there will be some fishy business.

-Yea the jobs are what I would expect for Nino and Alya

-Ivan out here showing himself to be loyal af. All other men need to step up their game. Mylene showing ambition.

-Juleka wants to be a mortician. Sticking to your asthetic, but didnt she want to model? Or was it just to help her get out of her shell. Meh

-Sabrina wants to be a nurse,

-Yea, Marinette's worries are justified

-Chloé and Lila having Opposite goals, one doesnt care because she is rich, Lila basically wants to "Resolve everything" but thats a lie

-Adrienette cuteness!

-Adrien, you are going to have to tell her eventually

-You can screen shot this and write "Moments before a disaster" and it would be accurate

-And they are shredding them. Im not even surprised

-"In case of a problem, blame it on your predecessor." Its nice to know kids shows are accurately explaining politics to children for once.

-"Its gonna hurt people?" THATS 90% OF THE S*** CHLOÉ HAS YOU DO! NOW YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT?

-Also Sabrina being a whistle blower is TOO on the nose, even for this show.

-Principal damocles is going to find out about the resistance! Wait, is he cool with it? He actually covered for them. I guess being a hero has helped you be less of a jerk... BUT I still am not cool with the BS from episode 14. You are on VERY thin ICE Owl man

-The class wants to go to the same school together, thats sweet

-Oh, that call must have been Sabrina. But we will see

-Oh right, Adrien still hasnt filled out his form

-Welp now he did

-But now I believe this is where all the pennies drop

-Why is there a just a random ass toilet trailer? Is that really the only bathroom in the school?

-Adrien exhibiting true AND KEN behavior.

-Lila once again proving that all the adults in this show are idiots. Bustier does seem at least a little bit suspect tho

-It is interesting to see how the teachers are. Bustier is suspect of it since she knows her students, Damocles is being his best to be supportive and Mendelev doesnt give a f***

-Juleka already repeated a year, thus confirming Luka and her as twins via the retcon

-Cue the reactions

-Juleka is gonna get akumatized...

-Monarch must have a guy that writes all of these speeches for him to speak before he does this.

-Yea I know Rose was trying, but yea. If I was repeating a year. I would NOT be in a mode to try and be positive.

-And she gets Roarr

-WHY IS ALWAYS REFLEKTA THO?

-Bustier realize she let this happen

-Lucky charm is tape.

-"You cant touch the bakers, I love their croissants to much" and their daughter. You forgot that last part chat noir

-SO THATS WHAT HAPPENS IF TWO FALCON PUNCHES COLLIDE?

-Wait... thats it? That barely lasted 2 minutes. and the episode isnt over.

-Monarch thinks there will be more akuma soon. I see

-Chloé and Lila really pulling this crap

-Oh they remember how Sabrina can forge handwritings and thus Marinette isnt going to get in trouble. And Chloé throws her under the bus

-Lila and Chloé really didnt expect Sabrina to turn Whistle blower on them. Chloé I get, because Sabrina has been loyal dog for years and the writing for her has Chloé have the mental capacity of a parsnip since season 4.

-Okay Lila that was well played lie right there. That is A tier gaslighting.

-I will give this scene credit, Lila is absolutely HORRIFYING. I can see the next season's main villain already. Since I assume Gabriel is probably dying this season.

-Chloé out here being a dumbass

-Sabrina you sly dog, you got her Monologue-ing

-Sabrina I put you as the least favorite classmate after episode 14, but now I gotta retcon that. Sure it was messed up what you helped chloé with. But that absolute MASTERY of playing Lila. Just, Chef's kiss. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

-Sabrina and Marinette's plan worked. Also, Mr.Damocles was okay with that?

-Ah so none this matters. Because Andre is also being whipped.

-Damocles looking like he cant take the bulls*** anymore and Monarch ready to capitalize on it

-The magic reacts to emotion, which means... IF the person is strong enough emotionally to resist it. Then the charm has a purpose

-Lila just straight up left.

-CHAT NOIR! But he is making it worse

-JULEKA! This moment probably will not have as much impact as it does in any other dub. French dub superiority

-OOOO it makes a shield that purifies the mega akuma. Neat

-Monarch crying like a bitch

-Damocles finally standing up to Andre. Good on him

-Damocles going out like a G.

-Chat noir telling ladybug what happened and her having to act like she didnt know

-Bustier calling Chloé in.

-"You cant expell me." "Nah bitch, thats a problem for you." is how I saw that exchange

-LILA WAS WEARING A WIG! I KNEW SHE WAS A FAKE B****

-HER NAME IS CERISE?

______________________________________________________

WELL that was a lot.

So i think part of me really likes this episode, but also doesnt.

I like that Lila finally got exposed and Damocles got his redemption for his failures of the past. Going out like a G.

But all this stuff with Lila having ANOTHER life. Thats just nuts.

so overally 7/10

I will do a review of Collusion tomorrow

[nerdygaymormon]

hello! o/ im a queer teenager from canada! i lead my highschool's gsa and am very active in the queer community around us. we raised $800 for the Trevor Project last year, raised $500 towards a chest binder breakroom at our school and are officially putting on the school's first all-age queer prom this may!

however, im very confused at the moment. i grew up in an atheist household and have never really found myself believing in God or anything religious. while i still dont think i believe ALL of it, lately ive been doing a lot of thinking after finding an old pocket bible that belonged to my great grandmother (she practically raised me but i never knew she was religious, she never mentioned it at all) and flipping through it and reading her flagged scriptures (i believe thats what theyre called, forgive me if im wrong), etc.

i then resorted to the internet and have been doing a bit of research and am now very conflicted about my feelings and beliefs. i now have moments where i genuinely believe there is something/someone divine out there. i find myself... almost talking to it, sometimes? i dont really know how to describe it. i even tried praying the other day for the first time in my life. (i probably didnt do it right if theres a proper way, but the point is i did it and i surprised myself.)

even though i have these moments, i still have times where i doubt it all. aside from the occasional joke, ive always done my best to be respectful of people's faith, but never saw myself believing until now. and when i say believe, like i said before, it isnt all of it. (like the creation of the world, etc)

i feel sort of fake in a way i dont know how to describe because of my conflicted feelings and how i dont believe everything. there are a lot of things i want to say about it but i really cant pull words from the emotions and i keep trying to. i also dont really have anyone in my life who i can talk to about this stuff. my family will not take me seriously and none of my friends and teachers are religious.

i dont know if you take asks like this, and its totally fine if you dont, but if you have any kind of advice it would be greatly appreciated.

sorry for the long ask, but thanks so much! hope youre having a wonderful day my friend 🤍

Congratulations for all you accomplish for queer students at your school! That's amazing!!!

That you find some aspects with religion resonates with you shouldn't be surprising or upsetting. Humans have been creating and practicing religions since before there was recorded history. There seems to be a need that is satisfied by religion.

In a broad sense, religion does 3 thing:

1. It provides an explanation for natural phenomena. Why is the ground shaking? Why did the sun go dark temporarily? Why is there a drought? Why is dad sick? Why did a hurricane pummel New Orleans?

2. Religions provide meaning to life. Religion provides answers for what is the purpose of life and what happens when we die. Religions are a vehicle for passing along the wisdom from past generations from hundreds and thousands of years ago.

3. Religion helps humans build community and encourages cooperation among those who believe. Religious belief also helps people develop self-discipline. Unfortunately, religions also have been used to define who is in a community and who is not, and this has led to a lot of harm and even wars

Beyond all these macro reasons, religion is experienced at the individual level. An individual prays and receive comfort and answers and feels a larger entity cares about them. Their faith gives them a purpose. They have a community that is meaningful in their lives. This is part of the truth of their lived experience and can't be easily quantified. It's what makes religion still relevant in the lives of many people today

[bi4pan-polls]

okay so! i am here with propaganda for Rashmi Jamil and Amelie Macon (Rashmelie) from Entropic Float!

most of my propaganda is reused whole cloth from what ive said for 17 million years of pining, so there will be a significant amount of focus on how long it took them to get together

anyway.

oh. my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

okay so, theyve been friends since early childhood, and before either of them came out (Rashmi is agender, they/them, while Amelie is a trans girl, she/her, and they are in fact canonically bi4pan - or pan4bi, if were going by name order, since Rashmi is pan and Amelie is bi). the earliest time that we know that they have feelings for each other is when theyre both 14, and Rashmi - already out, with their entire family (parents and grandma) supporting them without question - is moving. uhhh 90% of american geography names are the same to me so i might lie there. from Nevada, where they both grew up, to New York, where Rashmi is planning on studying dance further, which has always been their plan; around 14 is when they ran out of teachers at home.

they quietly hope Amelie doesnt confess her feelings for them, as they fear it might tempt them to stay, which they cannot allow themself to do.

Amelie, meanwhile, is very carefully not thinking about gender, because her parents are quite frankly the worst. over the course of the years before they meet back up, Amelie has had some dates, but each time, they dont work out, and in her own words, put logs on the flame she carries for Rashmi.

Rashmi, meanwhile. gets married.

one of Rashmi's biggest struggles in their romantic pursuits has been the fact that they are both Indian and queer. it has been a struggle for them to find someone who respects both - someone who respects their gender identity while not throwing their culture under the bus. that is one of the factors contributing to the way their relationship with "Ajay" (we learn that this name isnt his real one, but it was magically replaced in Rashmi's memories of him and we dont know it) played out: he is also Indian, and the first thing he asked them upon meeting them was what their pronouns were. and it was all good.

until it wasnt.

i would love to get into that deeper, but the important point is that "Ajay" is kind of a piece of garbage, whose crimes include finding Rashmi's address when they didnt give it out, deliberately not sending Amelie her wedding invitation because Rashmi told him they used to have a crush on her, driving them to drop out of dance school, and general possessiveness (notable being the fact that, whenever he is home, he always asks them to stay home too, which leads to them dropping their social circle and their hobbies). one of the places it grows from is "Ajay" being ace and not quite believing that Rashmi accepts that. he also has a substance abuse problem.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

in the meantime... god, i cant even figure out what parts of information are important about Amelie here. i would put as notable the fact that she only figured out she was a girl something like a year before the events of the game - and only ever came out to Rashmi, who in turn told their parents...

and who didnt realize that Amelie's workplace didnt know.

her workplace is just. terrible in social terms. she loves the work itself (its food industry, a restaurant in a casino, dont remember the exact job description) but her coworkers are being the absolute worst. a cesspool of toxic masculinity. also an environment for Amelie's undiagnosed psychosis. she is prone to auditory hallucinations.

after being outed to her boss while also hearing from Rashmi's parents that their husband is... lets just say bad for them, she, while safely at home, hallucinates that her boss or maybe her father is breaking down the door.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

these are not widely understood; from the context of the game, it seems as though some people get a Wish when in significant peril, or in distress. you do not need to use the Wish immediately as you get it, but they both did.

essentially, what Rashmi Wishes for is a way to escape from their husband that wouldnt raise a fuss; and Amelie Wishes for a place where she and Rashmi can both be safe. (i am very muddly on the details there) their Wishes create the anomalous clocktower where the game takes place.

Oh my gosh,,,couple of all. Not just Pan4bi couple of all time. Just couple of all time in the world.

*Propaganda for Rashmelie from Entropic Float Part 1

[b0nywh0res]

hi!! so since im not active 24/7 anymore i feel like u missed a lot so little update!!

i lost most of my friends. ive had so many depressive episodes and then weird episodes where i would hate them and want them to die. so ig it makes sense but also they know that i have these episodes but wtv not everyone can handle that and i respect that. they didnt have to be such bitches abt it tho. i got them muffins as apology bc i rlly cant control those episodes and they fucking rolled their eyes at me. girl. ur acting as if ur not fucking toxic urself. at least own it omg.

L and i got sooo close irl. shes been way more touchy w me which i rlly appreciate bc its so comforting and makes me feel so much more loved than just words.

and uhm. today was the worst day of my life. i had a panic attack during english class so i left and decided to skip the next period which is allowed if ur in a bad mental state. i told a teacher and he was like okay fine but for some reason the secretary still called my mom? she was so mad bc she doesnt believe in mental illnesses and all that yk so i was too scared to go home. i told my homeroom teacher and she said that there was obv a bigger underlying issue that was causing this. i basically started sobbing and she was so kind to me and hugged me. she even started crying w me oml.

she said that one of the teachers saw me looking at pro-ana sites in class(probably tumblr i hate yall LMAO) and they told her. she wouldnt tell me who it was. if i find out who snitched i will hshdhsjdh. i fr cant let anyone know abt my ed but god i was so close to telling her everything.

she said that i dont have any adults in my life who i can rely on and that i carry way too much for a teenager. shes getting me a school therapists and tbh i dont think itll help much bc ive had a few before but shes so nice to me so ill try. idk if im ready to talk abt my ed yet but i def want to do smth abt my mood swings and everything that comes w it. its so tiring.

she couldnt rlly do anything abt my moms anger so she told me that it was just one day and that i could get through it and i would speak w her again tmr. heating her say that was a real relief ngl. my mom hasnt ever been this mad(except for that one time 3 years ago when she wouldnt allow me anywhere but the attic for 3 weeks) and its rlly scary. home situation isnt great and school isnt either but god id do anything to be at school rn.

all in all life still sucks, i love L and now im starting school therapy. woohoo.

[caracolcondiarrea]

I have atopic dermatitis since I’ve been born and while in recent years I’ve managed more, since I’ve been little, whenever it started itching, it was only a matter of time before someone said to me “Cayy don’t scratch it would only make it itch more” or the worst of all “Cayy don’t scratch because it’s unpleasant for me”/“Cayy please cover the middle of the arm bc it’s unpleasant for others to see” like¿ I AM THE ONE WHO SUFFERS THIS CONDITION AND EVEN IF IT DOESNT ALWAYS ITCH WHEN IT DOES ITS THE WORST THING AND I HAVE TO SUFFER IN SILENCE AND DONT SCRATCH OR ROLL UP MY SLEEVE SO IT DOESNT ITCH EVEN MORE BC OF THE FABRIC JUST BC YOU FOND IT UNPLEASANT?! FUCK YOU! And also in school is awful bc there is a jumper we have to wear and when it starting to be a bit of cold to wear the jumper but not so cold to wear long sleeves I can’t wear it, even with long sleeves it itches somehow, and the teacher this year (I told her LITTERALLY THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL ABOUT HOW I CANT WEAR THE SCHOOL UNIFORM JUMPER) told me once that I can’t wear a jacket that isn’t from school and she had to call my father and I remember a conversation we had after that call that she said “I called your father and he told me about your atopic dermatitis…” and I was like ,(in my head) “you didn’t believe me at first?!”

it’s so annoying

AND ANOTHER THING, WHEN THEY TELL ME TO PUT MY DERMATITIS CREAM IM LIKE “I CANT BC IF I PUT IT ON IT STINGS LIKE CRAZY AND I ALSO GET THE TEXTURE FROM THE CREAM WHICH IS ANOTHER THING I DESPISE FROM THIS WORLD”

[axesilly]

i cant afford therapy so im going to talk about my troubles on here because i dont know what else to do 👍 i dont know if this will reach anyone but it might make me feel better. sorry if its a bit lengthy, ive had these feelings for a while

for the sake of anonymity and my own safety i will not be mentioning any names of people, towns, or schools :]

so im in college, im an art major. im from a small town with nothing to do except go to a mall the next town over and im going to college in another small town 5 hours away from home. this small town also has jack shit to do unless you drive 45 minute to an hour away. im currently in my spring semester of my freshman year and i have gotten so absolutely mentally and physically drained since i got a fast food job. i got a job making pizzas at yknow one of those big chain corporations pizza places, and the store i work at has only been open a few months. its absolutely chaotic and no one knows how to do anything except a few select people. my boss, the general manager, also doesnt know how to do anything because its his first time doing something like this. one of the other managers also only works there because hes friends with the general manager and he is not the greatest person, as he tends to sexually harrass the staff including a friend i made there. now ive already put in my two weeks last saturday, but that doesnt take away from how drained this job has made me.

Since the spring semester started ive been constantly piled with work (one week i was scheduled 6 days in a row when i had a big project to work on, i had a breakdown at work to my general manager), writing assignments, and project after project. (not even kidding my drawing professor gives us a new project the same day we turn one in) in my senior year of high school i loved fine arts and i believed that i wanted to follow in my art teachers footsteps and pursue my love of art and make art for my career. and while i do still love fine arts and making art, i just cannot do this constantly. since just before my spring break i started not going to my classes as consistently and i swore to myself i would start going again after the break. well that break just made it worse it seems because everything has just gone more and more downhill. i have still been missing classes because some days its difficult to get out of bed and i do not have the motivation to go to class just to sit there and not be able to pay attention for an hour/hour and a half. im behind on a project for one of my classes because i havent gone since ive been back from spring break (two weeks). i have an exam for one of my classes soon and im not even close to prepared. i had a 3 page essay due last night i started but havent finished (luckily i can turn it in a little late). it may sound lazy but these are my real struggles with my mental health. i feel trapped here. i do have a license and a car, i do have transportation so i can go places, but its such an old car it has so many problems (one which has arisen recently being if i stop somewhere and turn my car off, it wont crank back up immediately and i have to wait 10-15 minutes, and once it is on i have to revv it to make sure it stays on). so because of car problems and currently living in a small town im frustrated because it feels like i cant go anywhere to do anything fun. i feel trapped in my dorm and in my mind.

now comes the college problem. the college i go to currently is a nice school, i get 8 meals a week on my meal plan included in my tuition. theres several places to choose from the eat at, theres a gym, free health exams i think. but its driving me insane seeing the same old brick buildings every damn day. i currently dont have a roommate so im in a dorm by myself which probably contributes to this feeling of lonliness. i dont really have many friends, i had more last semester but they did not keep in touch. i do have one friend that i appreciate very much and she always worries and wants to help when she sees im upset. shes a real one. but seeing the same things, learning about the same repetitive lessons every single day, has driven me insane. my art history class has been the same topics since the start of the semester, its all been about works of art pertaining to jesus, and mary, and god and the angel telling mary shes pregnant and marys purity and this symbolizing that and i understand why its important to learn about these works of art and how they have shaped art today, but i cannot stand hearing the same things over and over. im not a christian, and i dont believe theres anything wrong with christianity as long as youre not hurting anyone with your beliefs, but these topics are so repetitive ever class i have. the semesters almost over and we havent even gotten to modern art yet, and in my opinion thats what truly matters to learn about because thats what we as artists would need to look at to have a reference for how we should make our art right? art is about expressing yourself and we need to see how others making art in the modern era are expressing themselves as well. and on the topic of expressing ourselves, my drawing class, every single project, my professor has us stick to such strict criteria. one of my projects my professor actually really liked, i liked, but she took points off because i had my girlfriends name written very small where you could barely even see, because we were not supposed to have any text. i feel like i cannot even be creative and truly express myself with these projects. i dont feel like i have any real freedom with them. i love fine arts and i love making art, but not when its like this. i want to be able to make my own art that actually expresses my feelings, not someone elses criteria. because of all of this my grades have been rapidly dropping.

now i have already made the decision weeks ago that i will not be returning to this school in the next fall semester. i discussed this with my mom already as she does the majority of my paperwork and things for this stuff. she wants me to transfer to a college closer to home so i can atleast get a general studies degree. but thats not what i want to do either. she told me not to flunk my classes this semester because that will make it difficult to transfer me to another school, but how do you expect me to get good grades when i constantly feel like im in hell in my mind. i mentioned wanting to maybe take a gap year, she doesnt want me to do that. school is horrible for my mental health like this, i dont understand why society thinks we should just have everything we want to do with the rest of our life figured out immediately out of high school. well i dont. and i dont want to stay in college immediately out of high school. i want to go live my life! me and my girlfriend are long distance (we have met in person several times and shes actually coming to visit me this month, but just seeing each other for a week at a time is not enough) and i really want to go live with her! i want to enjoy living and living with the person i love more than life itself! i currently dont feel like i can do that here or back home. i want to move somewhere else with my girlfriend so we can both be happy and love life. i want to move out of state to a slightly bigger city, nothing crazy like new york or atlanta, but just somewhere bigger than a small town with nothing to do whatsoever. i do have a place in mind but im not going to say where. and when i move, after a year i can qualify for in state tuition and pursue something that makes me happier. ive always loved animals and marine animals so i was thinking i could major in zoology and marine biology and work at an aquarium or something while im working on my degree. and i dont fully know how the paperwork and things work for transferring and such, especially after a break, so i could be in the wrong, but is it really wrong for wanting the best for myself?

and to be honest with myself i know exactly why im in college and its not to get a degree. i was raised constantly being compared to my siblings. my brother is trans (which my parents are very obviously not too fond of) dropped out of college and joined the military. my sister dropped out of college after a semester, got married to a horrible man who she just recently divorced after having two children with him. and being compared to them all my life, especially to my brother, made me want to be better than them. i wanted to be the one, as the youngest, to be the first one to get through college immediately, all four years, no problem. but its just too much for me. and dropping out, moving away, im terrified. im terrified that my parents will be disappointed in me. im terrified of that face my mother makes, that tone of voice, when shes disappointed in me for something. im terrified of getting lectured and told why everything i want is wrong. its irrational. and im terified if i move away i wont have her support anymore. i wont have her to lean on when i need help with something. i was never taught where to go or how to do stuff for applying to colleges and transferring. i barely know how to do my taxes.

now i really dont know what this article-like rant of a tumblr post is gonna do. i know i dont really have a following and i dont really post on here. but i just thought itd make me feel better to collect my thoughts and put them all together like this. so far the only people concerned about me have been my girlfriend and a couple of my friends ive told about these problems. not even my professors are concerned about me, i havent even gotten a single email or question about how im doing. they say theyre all for mental health but when a student stops coming to class as often suddenly and starts failing or not turning in assignments its none of their business and i must just be getting lazy and im a horrible student yknow? anyways i think thats about it for this. again i dont really know what this will do but i hope someone has advice or support or something. im going insane here.

love to anyone else suffering similar struggles <3

[frostbite-the-bat]

.

i still cant believe its been basically over a year since the start of my last year at my high school - like i am free from that now.

the first month or SO was pretty breezy - before things get harder and things are still getting started. but still, less breezy than the other years of course, as we already had some dumbass typical-for-my-school bullshit thrown at us.

i was terrified of my finals that were coming later next year, but i was still carrying through. i also began realizing i am basically in pain daily - NOT just my hands. but couldn't pinpoint the cause but i knew that practice where we do laborous physical shit was going to be a nightmare. (it was)

after covid and bad untreated carpal tunnel shit it was a nightmare to go through note-heavy classes too. not being able to pause for even a second or you miss out on important notes, getting weird looks from your teacher. literally gasping for air as your hands cannot handle the sharp pain from having to write this fast. and you're still 'slacking behind'.

that got better and then worse in some days. but. sure. can deal with that. have been dealing with that since.

but at time went on and on i became more and more miserable, more scared of my future. this school was hurting me more and more, being constantly neglected by my teacher. me especially. the others being better at what they did, so they got some special treatment. more time at the more laborous work for me!! it was a painful fucking nightmare both physically and mentally

i dreaded going there everyday. everyday i wanted to drop out - i wanted to get out of that god damn hell school. as things got worse so did my thoughts... and yet i made it! i managed to get through. i did it.

at this time last year i would've been already going through so much shit. and yet i'm here. like. i've actually done it. i lived. did i deserve that?? did anyone deserve that treatment we got there?? absolutely fucking not.

in all fucking seriousness i couldnt be happier right now doing nothing, even if it does get to my brain sometimes. even if i know i wont get good treatment in the future, possibly. but even then there's still a future for me. even if still under my parents - if i do get a job i can just quit i will not be tied to a shitty teacher and possible legal trouble if i dont attend. this teacher who also likes getting too personal and nice and then whips out some of the most cruel most insulting shit you could imagine. i hope shes fucking happy quitting the job after essentially abusing me and my classmates. i hope shes happy doing her own thing after screaming and yelling at me and telling me to cry harder when i did a simple mistake. i hope she's fucking proud of herself for this. i hope she knows how miserable we all were during her classes, or rather, the lack of them, as she never taught us anything and made us do her own personal event shit for her. i hope she knows i dont ever plan on doing anything in my life thats like what i studied at this school and graduated from basically because im so scarred by it.

seriously. how was any of this legal. it cant be. i feel so sorry for any future students, but also happy, since they wont have to deal with HER anymore.

i do not, honest to god, plan on going back to any school anytime soon, and i'm just fine staying unemployed for now even if just.. completely under my parents. i cant do shit anyway. but god im happy to just.

rest finally after all that. nobody deserves that. looking back and not living through it anymore makes me realize how fucked up it was. its so surreal. im not dealing with that anymore.

but god is it going to haunt me for a long time.

[piratadelamor]

.......i cant stand my work partner anymore

[unpopularshipbracket]

Round 1a Match 1

Rashmi Jamil/Amelie Macon (Entropic Float)

Fic count: 0

Liam Dunbar/Hayden Romero (Teen Wolf)

Fic count: 336

Propaganda under the cut

Rashmelie:

"this essay is going to be reused whole cloth from the submission of them to the 17 million years of pining poll! because unfortunately i do not have the energy to go insane enough to write up anything new oh.

my god. where the fuck do i start with them for real.

okay so, theyve been friends since early childhood, and before either of them came out (Rashmi is agender, they/them, while Amelie is a trans girl, she/her, and they are both mspec which is a bit less relevant but is also there). the earliest time that we know that they have feelings for each other is when theyre both 14, and Rashmi - already out, with their entire family (parents and grandma) supporting them without question - is moving. uhhh 90% of american geography names are the same to me so i might lie there. from Nevada, where they both grew up, to New York, where Rashmi is planning on studying dance further, which has always been their plan; around 14 is when they ran out of teachers at home.

they quietly hope Amelie doesnt confess her feelings for them, as they fear it might tempt them to stay, which they cannot allow themself to do. Amelie, meanwhile, is very carefully not thinking about gender, because her parents are quite frankly the worst. over the course of the years before they meet back up, Amelie has had some dates, but each time, they dont work out, and in her own words, put logs on the flame she carries for Rashmi.

Rashmi, meanwhile. gets married. one of Rashmi's biggest struggles in their romantic pursuits has been the fact that they are both Indian and queer. it has been a struggle for them to find someone who respects both - someone who respects their gender identity while not throwing their culture under the bus. that is one of the factors contributing to the way their relationship with "Ajay" (we learn that this name isnt his real one, but it was magically replaced in Rashmi's memories of him and we dont know it) played out: he is also Indian, and the first thing he asked them upon meeting them was what their pronouns were. and it was all good.

until it wasnt.

i would love to get into that deeper, but the important point is that "Ajay" is kind of a piece of garbage, whose crimes include finding Rashmi's address when they didnt give it out, deliberately not sending Amelie her wedding invitation because Rashmi told him they used to have a crush on her, driving them to drop out of dance school, and general possessiveness (notable being the fact that, whenever he is home, he always asks them to stay home too, which leads to them dropping their social circle and their hobbies). one of the places it grows from is "Ajay" being ace and not quite believing that Rashmi accepts that. he also has a substance abuse problem.

all of that culminates as they return from a short visit to their parents, and he in a fit pushes them down a long flight of stairs.

in the meantime... god, i cant even figure out what parts of information are important about Amelie here. i would put as notable the fact that she only figured out she was a girl something like a year before the events of the game - and only ever came out to Rashmi, who in turn told their parents...

and who didnt realize that Amelie's workplace didnt know. her workplace is just. terrible in social terms. she loves the work itself (its food industry, a restaurant in a casino, dont remember the exact job description) but her coworkers are being the absolute worst. a cesspool of toxic masculinity. also an environment for Amelie's undiagnosed psychosis. she is prone to auditory hallucinations.

after being outed to her boss while also hearing from Rashmi's parents that their husband is... lets just say bad for them, she, while safely at home, hallucinates that her boss or maybe her father is breaking down the door.

simultaneously with Rashmi as they are falling down the stairs, they make Wishes.

these are not widely understood; from the context of the game, it seems as though some people get a Wish when in significant peril, or in distress. you do not need to use the Wish immediately as you get it, but they both did.

essentially, what Rashmi Wishes for is a way to escape from their husband that wouldnt raise a fuss; and Amelie Wishes for a place where she and Rashmi can both be safe. (i am very muddly on the details there) their Wishes create the anomalous clocktower where the game takes place."

Layden:

"THEYRE SO FUN !! liam and hayden went to the same middle school and absolutely hated each other because they got into a fight right before picture day in 6th grade and they had black eyes and bruises and shit in their yearbook photos. they meet again in their sophomore year of high school and both of them are still holding that grudge a little bit, before liam tries to make amends. plot stuff happens and liam ends up saving haydens life, and their romance kinda begins. teen wolf has this lore where werewolves can take pain from people (it’s a weird show with weird lore) and they both take each others pain by kissing. hayden (temporarily) dies in liams arms and when she comes back she says nothing feels right anymore, except for him. during their first season they also have this fun romeo and juliet/opposite sides dynamic. and in their second season hayden puts her literal existence at stake because she trusts liam enough to save her. theyre so good."

[itsmadamehydra]

My Savior || Wayne McCullough

A/N: Just some teenage girl trying to write the story inside her head, hope u like it.

Pairing: Wayne McCullough x oc

Warnings: rape, intention of rape, harassment, blood mention, bullying, language (a little strong)

.................

.................

I've always like to watch him by far, he just seems different from the rest (and oh boy, he is).

The first time I saw him I was in 7th grade. I was just one more girl of the many others that her tities just had started to show and my period started to visit me. I remember that day clearly, I was sitting at the hallway with my bestfriend at the time, eating infront of our lockers when I saw him.

"Am telling ya girl, the answer of number 5 was c." I said trying to reason with her about the science test answers "I told you that if u needed help to study, I could help ya." I smile at her and move my arm upward to touch her shoulder

"Yeah, yeah, I know...are you sure it was not D?" she said frowning her eyebrows once more. We stayed in silence for a sec before bursting into laughter and tears

Little by little our laughs started to fade, allowing ears to hear the background and aswell some loud voices, it sounded like an argument but by the hears of it a fight was going to start soon. "What you think is happening over there?" Cassie murmured, I stared at the end of the hallway where apparently was were the voices were coming from.

"I don't know..." my lips formed a thin line while I was thinking about what could have been happening in there, "You wanna, you know, go and see?" I looked back at my friend

"Freak yeah" she laughed grabbing my hand and running down the hallway to see the soon to be fight.

Once we got there, there was a mass of students surrounding what appeared to be the ones who where arguing. "Ugh, I can't see, I hate been so small." I said, "Hey, that smallness is beautiful and you know you can use that in your own benefit" Cassia said and winked at me.

"I mean, yeah but I can't-" my word stopped at the moment I heard a want sounded and I believe to be a punch in the face. "You saw that!?" Cassie said, "That was freaking awesome, please tell me you saw it!" "Um, nah Cassie, I cant see a crap" i said while trying to find a whole where to see through.

It was only a matter of seconds until more punches were heard. I started pushing people more frantically, I wanted to see what was happening. When I get pass a few amount of studens I almost slipped, looked sown to see what was it and it was stains of blood, only a few but still.

"Oh gosh, disgusting." When I look up only a few students are still in the cafeteria and a guy wearing a grey hoddie was just there, staring at the bloodie face of another guy. I stared back at the hoddie guy and noticed a little hammer in his hand, and the words just came out of my mouth without even noticing, "Why the hammer? Want to be a constructed or something?" He just stared at me and pass by me without saying a word and keeping a neutral face.

"Who the hell was that crazy ass weirdo?" I hear Cassie's voice behind me. "I don't know" I responded, "But I will know...one day."

"Ok,ok, am not going to get in between your little search thingi but am sure he is not good news." Cassie said, "You saw what he did, and he has a FREAKING hammer, y/n! Covered in blood y/n!" She grabbed my shoulders from behind, "I think we all understood the message, stay the fuck away from him, honey."

And I just smiled.

Months later I learned his name. Wayne, Wayne McCullough. Fits the ring if you ask me. Everyone was speaking about how violent, crazy and wierdo he was, about how he was going to show up at your house to beat the hell put of you.

I just observed him by far, well, I like to think that I noticed him. I noticed how he usually beats up those who are some assholes jerks that have only one brain cell as much. Noticed that he is not much of a talker and a shy boy. Noticed how he makes his lips thin when he gets lost in thoughts. How he closes his fist when he is about to do something. His strangely high pain tolerance. His pale skin and dark hair appeared to me to be very llamative and aswell his strength. He was and is skinny but somehow has a great strength, maybe do to the unincredible amounts of fights he gets in. Experience makes the master is what the say...right?

Years went by, we entered to highschool and the nervousness along with the fast beating, sweating and butterflies were still there every time i either tought about him or saw him walking around.

Cassie stayed with me for a while until she decided to join the group of nasty ass bitches with no brain cells who believed no one was better than them. While I...well, I stayed small for a big part I guess, always with good grades, teachers love me and try to be nice with every one I guess.

Everything was going great until Cassie along with some guys recorded me somehow while being drunk and them trying to overpass the boundaries, and let me tell ya.. that was just the start.

The had videos of me at the school bathroom, pictures of my underwear under my skirts and dresses, them trying to touch me. I had to learn to defend myself, stopped using skirts, dresses, shorts even do I loved wearing the. Replace my shoes with tennis and always had hair ties.

"Y/n, wake up! You're going to be late for school, don't think ama wait for you!" I mom yelled.

"Yes, mom! Dont worry, am up!" I run down the stairs with my backpack, went to the kitchen, grabbed an apple and went straight to the car.

"Oh for God sake, y/n" she said went she looked at me and noticed my new hair style.

"What? You don't like it? I just cut it a little." I satered at her innocently

"Your father is not gonna like it and you know it." She said and the stress lines appeared in her forehead, "You know this is his weekend and-"

She couldn't finish her sentence because I started taking, "Am not going to that dickheads house, mother." I said strainly, "Don't want to see his and face of that bitch he cheated you with..." i lowly said but loud enough to hear.

"I know, honey but you have to and besides you get to see your brother!" She patted my thigh, "Haven't seen him in a while right?" She said with a sad tone

"You should be the one seeing him...not me." I stared outside the window, there were just some trees and houses and garbage.

Mom and dad divorced a while back, he cheated on her. The house was a mess that day, screams and broken glass everywhere. Sammy was lucky, he was at grandma's but I was home...listening to every single word. That was also the first time a sneaked out and the first time I sort-of spoke to Wayne.

"What are you doing here?" I heard someone said behind me, I looked and it was fucking Wayne

"Just trying to have some quietness i guess..." I stared at my fingers and started playing with them because of my nervousness, "...What are you doing here?" I asked softly

And he stayed silent...the whole time after that. Either way, his company was nice and the side profile, ufff, amazing.

"Ok, we are here." I stared at the building for a sec before giving my mother a kiss in her cheek and entered to the building.

"Hey y/n! Nice ass!" That was the jerk of all jerks, Jonathan.

I turned around and stared at him, "Oh yeah?" He nodded, "Want to see me shop of your dick?" Changed my tone while saying that into a lower and more serious tone. He just stared at me with sealed lips and left.

I continued walking to my locker and I come to see tgat my freaking lock is broken, I search in all the spaces but nothing is missing.

"Come on! They had just changed me of locker!" I silently yelled. Started grabbing my books for the next few classes when I felt a hand in my shoulder, by instinct I grabbed the wrist, pushed the person against the locker and added pressure in the throat with my other arm.

"Hey y/n" Orlando smiled, "New move?" I chuckled and removed my arm, now, standing face to face I respond

"You know you shouldn't do that Orlando bunny." I laugh st the nickname I gave him a few time ago. Orlando was one of the few FEW people who talked to me, well, he talked to everyone but still.

"I know... I just forgot I guess man." He looked down, "Y/n...have your tities grown bigger?" His face looked confused.

I slapped his head and punched his shoulder, "Could you please stop looking and thinking 'bout tities when am around you?"

"I mean, yeah sure...and sorry about your lock." He points the locker, "Wayne thought it was still his but since-" I cut him off before he could continue

"Wayne?" I asked confused

"Yeah, Is tha-" i cut him off again

"Why did he tho?" I murmured staring at my lock in hand.

"It used to be his locker but oh well...he missed school for 3 weeks and yeah." He grabs his backpacks laces after explaining.

"Oh...ok, is he still here tho?" I looked at Orlando

"I guess..." he was about to say pther thing when the bell ring and we started to go toour classes, "See you later gorgeous!" He yells from the corner of the hallway.

I stayed there...just staring at my lock for a while, then order my things fast and left to class. What I didn't know was that someone was watching at me.

Three days later, i was walking back home and i heard s car going at full speed and nasty comments were started to be listend. I kept walking trying tk pretend they didn't exist when the car is suddenly over the sideway and infront of me.

"YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME ASSHOLES!!" I yelled.

"But...you are bot dead right, bitch?" Jonathan said getting out of the car. There were five, 2 guys and 3 girls. "Don't prefer to suck my dick and be my slut, promise I'll pay a good amount." He said infront of me,

"She is already a slut baby." Veronica said

"I bet she has sleeped with half school, wouldn't surprise me if you haven been org*e or something." You know, comments are comments, you are the one who decide what hurt you and whats does not, but being Cassie the one who said that...broke my freaking heart.

I couldn't stand it anymore, wanted to leave the place so i came up with a plan very fast. I walked closer to Jonathan trying to be the most seductive I could, touched his chest, abs and got closer to his ear and said, "You are going to regret everything" Punched him with all my strenght in this genitiles, stomp on his feet, punched his nose and ran the faster I could out of there.

"You bitch!" I heard from far but i continued running, I couldn't stop, i was scared, didn't know what could happen if the get me. I could hear the car engines behind me, but i didn't stop.

I was close a bridge, ran underneath it, passed some houses but i could still hear the voices and car. My legs hurt, i needed to catch my breath, i could hear my heart beat, my body felt on fire. When I less expected am suddenly trapped, there were some abandoned buildings and warehouses but no way to get put of there. This was it, my end.

"Couldn't escape from me you nasty little bitch!?" I heard his voice, i was never one to pray but believe when i say i begged to God to save me. "You ain't going anywhere...bitch" he was behind me, I could sense it.

My hair was pulled, he pulls me by my hair to his car and i notice that it's just him and another guy. Am not getting out of here.

"We are going to have so much fun!" He licks my cheek and i try to kick him wherever.

"HELP!" I yelled, "SOMEBODY PLEASE, HELP!" my voice sounded horrific, like if i hadn't drank a single drop of water in ages, "please" y murmure my last pledge before he finally puts me over the capo of his car.

"No one's gonna help you, you slut." He says, the other guy was just watching and standing still, doing nothing.

I gave up, didn't even notice I was crying until I tasted the salt in my lips. I felt him over me, unbucking my pants and then...i didnt felt his weight anymore, instead, i heard a cry of pain, and then another cry, and another and another.

I lifted my head and there he was, grey hoddie and little hammer in hand...my savior. I smiled.

My smile just grew bigger and bigger every second I saw that boy swing that motherfucker hammer, every second that Jonathan's blood was spilled. I lool around in search pf the pther guy scared that he might try to grab but I get calm when i see him unconscious on the floor.

A few minuts later th cries stop and i look up, Jonathan was missing 3 teeths and face covered with blood, i think he could even have a brocken rib or something.

Am sitting on top of the car's capo when a feel a slight, fragile touch.

"You ok?" Wayne askes pulling a string of my hair behind my ear.

"...now I am." I smile to him and he returns a little small tiny one with a grin. I was about to say something else when he suddenly speaks

"Want to be my girlfriend or whatever?" He says looking exhausted, I chuckle

"Try a little harder and I might be." I say soflty with a small thin smile and he avoids my eyes but I still get to notice a small blush.

...................

Hey! So, yeah. This is my first ever published thing. Hope you enjoyed it and if you want a part two or to keep writing, am open to any suggestion! Am not very good with the warnings section so if you could help me with it, i would totally apreciate that!

Thank you for reading,

[okaymybeloved]

promise? | ni-ki

bsf!ni-ki x reader

genre: best friend things, moving away, middle school into high school and college, a bit sad at the beginning, idol!ni-ki

summary: best friends y/n and ni-ki promise to be there for each other, always.

wc: 1430 words (this is so long omg)

a/n: i saw a prompt about pinky promises and thought it would be really cute to make a best friends au with ni-ki :) (this au also is based in japan but moves into korea as it goes on)

a/n pt 2: i will be using “riki” in the beginning of the story but will use “ni-ki” towards the end (it’ll make sense trust me)

“you pinky promise?”

“as always, y/n.”

you and riki have always been close, ever since elementary school. both of you would ride bikes together after school, making your mothers panic because their kids were gone for hours at a time. looking back, maybe you shouldn’t have done that to your mothers but those memories could never be replaced. you guys were inseparable. every aspect of your life was shared with him, as he did with you. emotions included. sadness, anger, happiness, you name it. you even started going to dance classes with him. albeit, you actually did enjoy dancing and would choreograph dances together. you both have spent most of your school life together and weren’t planning to separate from each other anytime soon.

“nishimura riki! i’m over here dummy!” you yelled from across the train station.

riki has been looking at his phone the whole time, only looking up after hearing your booming voice from across the station. he jogged a bit to get to you faster.

“hi, y/n! i missed you soooo much!” he teased.

“shut up, we literally saw each other yesterday. at school.”

the train arrives and you both squeeze through the crowd, conveniently finding two empty seats next to each other. as soon as you sat down, you start making conversation.

“riki, can you believe it? it’s our last day and we’re almost done with middle school. i’m excited but scared for high school. oh! we’re going to go to the same high school right? ah! i’m so excited now! i cant wait!” you spoke quickly and excitedly.

what you didn’t catch was that as soon as you mentioned high school, his face fell. he hasn’t told you that he was moving to korea over the summer. he was planning to do it today.

“yeah! i’m very excited! of course i’ll be with you.” riki says with the most fakest excited voice you’ve ever heard in your life.

you looked at him weird. as you opened your mouth ready to speak, the train arrives at your destination. everyone starts getting off and you both do as well.

the last day of school was so sad for you. during class, you cried when all of your friends gave you the biggest hug. your class was close with the teacher as well and she choked up saying goodbye to everyone. there was not one person in your class that didn’t cry. continuing on to your promotion, everyone received their certificates and started taking pictures with family and friends. your parents had come as well, supporting you on your special day.

“where’s riki? i want to get a picture of you two together!” your mom exclaimed.

“i’ll go find him! i’ll be right back!”

you looked around, hopefully spotting a tall boy amongst the crowd. as soon as you found him, you sprinted towards him.

“riki! riki! come here! my mom wants a picture of us together! hurry!”

he laughs at how much you’re rushing him and starts jogging to where your family was. you both started posing for pictures, taking some goofy ones as well. riki looks at you dying of laughter while looking at the photos that were just taken, realizing that this might be one of the last times he’ll ever see his best friend smile before he leaves.

you both went home and celebrated individually with your families. as the night slowly falls, riki realizes he has to tell you now, or else it’ll be too late. he walks to your house and knocks on the door. you open it, not expecting riki to be there,

“oh! riki! what brings you here? it’s late?”

“y/n, i need to talk to you.”

your heart stops for a bit. all these thoughts in your head were screaming at you. does he not want to be friends anymore? does he hate me? did i do something wrong? riki saw you just standing there, so he says,

“you didn’t do anything wrong, i just want to chat.”

you sigh a breath of relief and grab a jacket and head outside. walking to a nearby park, you both sit at the swings.

“hey, this kind of reminds me of that time you pushed me off the swing.” you laughed.

“it was on accident. plus you didn’t die so you’re fine.” riki snorted

“i broke my arm.” you said stonefaced.

he looked at you and both of you tried to hold in your laughs, but ultimately failed. as the laughter died down, riki becomes serious.

“you’re my best friend, y/n.”

“yes, you didn’t need to tell me that. i know.”

he didn’t know how to say it. but he has to. he just bursted out quickly without thinking,

“immovingtokoreatomorrowtobecomeatraineeandbeinanidolgrouppleasedontbemadatmeforleaving.”

you sat there, stunned.

“say that again, but slower.”

“i’m moving to korea tomorrow to become a trainee and be in an idol group. please don’t be mad at me for leaving.” he said again but slower.

you were trying to process it in your mind. your best friend. moving to korea. leaving you in japan. you didn’t even realize tears were dripping from your cheeks until riki used his sweater sleeve to wipe it. you looked up at him and he had tears in his eyes as well.

“i know i said i would be by your side forever. but this is my dream. i want to dance. i’m so sorry i have to leave you.” he cries.

you raised your hand and wiped his eyes with your sleeve as well.

“riki, it’s okay. i understand. this has been your dream since i’ve met you. i’m not mad that you’re leaving me. i want the best for you, always.”

only sniffles were heard as riki pulls you in for a long needed hug. you pulled apart and looked him straight in the eyes,

“remember when we were younger and did pinky promises?”

“of course i do, we still do that now.”

you immediately held out your pinky.

“nishimura riki, do you promise to always be there for each other, no matter what?”

he looked at your for a bit, and held out his pinky as well.

“of course i do.”

you both intertwined pinkies.

“you pinky promise?”

“as always, y/n.”

a couple years have passed now. you have graduated high school and started applying to different colleges.

riki, or now known to the world as ni-ki, has debuted in a group called enhypen. they have been promoting together for a couple years as well.

when ni-ki went to korea, you both tried to keep in contact as much as possible. however, he was very busy with trainee life and you were busy studying in order to get into a good college. you were so happy when you saw that ni-ki had debuted in a group called enhypen, after seeing him work so hard, especially through i-land.

you applied to all different colleges, mostly in japan but you just wanted to take a risk and applied to a college in korea. you did end up getting accepted into that college and was busy packing up all of your things in order to move.

as you arrived in your apartment in korea, you were so thirsty. parched if you will. heading down to the convenience store, you bought your favorite grass jelly drink. it was a nice day outside so you walked to one of the parks nearby and sat at the swings. maybe they were for young children but you didn’t care. you were in a whole new country with a new future ahead of you. swinging and drinking your drink was one of the most relaxing things to do after that long plane ride. you then felt a presence next to you.

“hi, y/n. it’s been a while.” the voice said.

you were shocked. you’ve only arrived to korea a couple hours ago. how did anyone know your name? you didn’t recognize the voice so you looked up. he looked so familiar. then it clicked.

“riki? or should i say, ni-ki?”

“hi.” he smiled.

you engulfed him into the most biggest hug and fell to the ground.

“see, i told you i promised.” he laughs.

you stood up and pulled him up as well. he stood up confused.

“you remembered what i said before you left?”

“of course i did. why would i ever forget?”

you held out your pinky, all the memories flooding back to when you did this years ago.

“you pinky promise?”

he held out his pinky, chuckling, as he intertwines it with yours.

“as always, y/n.”